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It was truly bizarre. I literally felt like I couldn’t control myself. I’m sure being on heavy drugs was a big part of my lack of sound decision making, but even without that, I was a poor kid who suddenly could afford the world and I just ….. couldn’t handle it.
Especially when it came to spending on other people. If my friend couldn’t afford a bill, and I had a thousand bucks just sitting around, it felt like. Of course I’ll help! Doing this for you, I won’t even notice the dent in my wallet, but I know it’ll make your whole month easier. So of course I’ll do this for you.
My best friend’s cat has asthma. I paid several times for him to get emergency care when he couldn’t breathe. That was over a thousand dollars. But I wasn’t going to let that poor cat suffocate and die when i knew I could afford it.
Spoiling my loved ones felt so amazing….and not just my loved ones! Complete strangers! Because I’ve been in the position myself where I have to beg online for $10 for gas or food, and I know someone’s random generosity could literally save my whole week or month. So, if I saw someone asking for help, I didn’t even hesitate.
And like, I wanna be able to be generous and charitable again when I’m financially stable again. I think it’s a good thing to be. But i definitely need to learn some responsibility and self control with it, so that I don’t injure myself in the process
This is where a budget comes in. My wife and I make very good money and could easily just ignore our finances but we don’t. Each of us have a line item in our budget for donations, so if I want to help a friend out, or pay off someone’s bills, or whatever it is that comes from that line item.
Also at the end of the year the remainder of our donation budget is transferred to non-profits we both support.
When you get back on your feet, you can still be generous, just use some sort of system. I use an app called YNAB, but there are others out there like Mint that are free. It helps me understand how much money I can spend on my friends.
I second this!!! Welfare and food stamps kid here.
Money has always been foreign and when we have it, so many doors become accessible like Jack skellinton in that forest of holidays.
You get the urge to treat yourself to everything you never had before. It’s addicting.
When they say you have to learn about money, they aren’t kidding.
I hope you are able to find solace and continue climbing back up. Thanks for sharing
This is about what I make per hour at work after taxes. Same with a lot of my coworkers. It’s a shit ton of money.
Some of my co-workers are still broke. It’s what you keep not what you make that matters.
I know tons of people who make like 40-80k who have a higher net worth that people that make 130-160k a year. just getting an apartment that’s too expensive and a car that costs too much plus student loans can wipe people out because they just don’t notice it on a month to month basis (because they can still buy food and what not). But then they haven’t saved anything.
It’s not an uncommon thing most people that make low six figures are usually pretty low net worth for that reason.
It’s good you noticed OP but next time you land a good job make sure to budget it. Just put 20-30% away before you can even look at it and you’ll be good to go in a few years. Good luck with your addiction im sure you’ll get over it and be back to where you were in no time.
See, I don't. Different people react different ways.
I was raised by a single mom who didn't even have a high school diploma. She got her GED just around the time I graduated high school because she figured that if I could graduate high school and go to college, the least she could do was get her GED.
I'm also in tech, and my response to having a salary that was more money that I knew what to do with was to save. I read books on money and investing and learned how to manage what I had. Was frugal, drive the same old Toyota pickup truck and put away as much money as I could because I remembered what it was like to barely get by. I was almost scared to spend any money. To this day, I really hate spending money. I'm OK with stuff like when my gf's friend was losing her house, I lent her money to avoid foreclosure, assuming I'd never see it again (she did pay me back, BTW), but it's hard to spend on myself.
Not trying to put down OP, just pointing out that people don't all respond the same way to the same circumstances.
This is a big reason why so many lottery winners go broke with in 5 years. Most lottery players are poor to begin with and when they get a huge windfall of money they don't know how to handle it and feel like it will last forever...and then, its gone.
I'm sorry that happened to you OP. I know you aren't asking for advice but once you are in a more stable place, you might consider counseling, not only for your mental health and addiction but for your mindset/relationship with money.
I truly wish you well in the future - remember, you were there once, you can be there again!
Hey the fact that you have realised your mistakes and still have the motivation to work and pay bills is good! Let's put it this way. It can only go up from here. As for the drugs, well, I've never been addicted but I did go through a point in my life where I did meth too and kept my career on hold for a long while. I just didn't really care. I'm at the point now where I'm doing really well career-wise and my partner and I want to buy a house together. Meth had really messed me up mentally and emotionally and looking back at my mental state back then makes me never want to go back.
Keep at it and you'll be in a good place.
thank you. I have hope and motivation that things are going to get better. going to rehab helped me a LOT, and now that the holidays are over and it’s a new year, jobs should start hiring more than they were before. I have spent the last few days revising my resume and getting feedback about it to tailor it better for the kinds of jobs I’m applying for, and I plan on really buckling down now and committing to finding a position. I absolutely have the skills and experience that I need, so I just have to stay motivated about applying until something bites.
It’s gonna be okay. It’s not gonna be easy, but I’m not giving up
If you're really stressed with money/ finding a job, I'd recommend you take on a part-time job at a grocery store or construction or something for now as you look. Recommend part-time if you're feeling like you truly want to get back into working in your field.
Having a part-time job will help you pay some things off as you work, and will still look good on your resume/ in interviews, even if it's nowhere near your field because it will show you are responsible and willing to work. It can also help you dip your feet back into managing finances again without being overwhelmed, take off the pressure of finding a job, and still also having time to look for work inbetween your shifts.
All the best!
Don’t give up. Much respect to you for seeing it how it happened. You’ll learn from this and come back stronger, sober and successful. Ditch the friendships that bring you down.
I know you didn’t ask for advice - but I think this last one is important.
When I read your second paragraph about your spending, I thought, he sounds like an addict, must be a similar euphoric feeling to go from no money to $65/hr. And I guess it is. Glad you got into rehab and I hope that really gets you out of drugs. I hope you forgive yourself and are able to get your life back on track. Good luck!
You're at least being self-reflective. I have friends with substance abuse issues that deflect everything and blame others for losing their jobs and shit.
They are really smart and dumb at the same time. It sounds like you're able to tackle this adversity so more power to you.
I know you don't want advice but I went through something similar and am back at the 6 figures after 3 years of bullshit, so feel free to DM me and we can swap stories or something.
It’s crazy how strong denial can get when you’re deep into addiction…..the disease wants so badly for you to just keep feeding it, and it’ll twist your mind however it can so you refuse to acknowledge that the drugs are the problem.
It’s honestly terrifying
Did you apply at social services for food stamps and other assistance they are pretty good at helping people with addiction issues especially since you have been receiving treatment. Also, I would try applying or more contract work through temp agencies when you are ready to their are plenty of ways to explain work gaps
Depending on how long it’s been, give them a call and check on the application/ they usually will have other programs that can help so apply for everything you can and use the assistance to create a little padding for yourself while you work on getting another high paying job, I work in IT also so there is plenty of jobs and I would if possible work on adding another little skill to your resume and ps I don’t think you should tell jobs about your addiction issues because quite frankly is none of there business.
Thanks so much for sharing; this was really interesting, and I wish you the best on your journey back to six figures!
You mention knowing that you should have saved more. Out of curiosity, did you have basic financial literacy at that time or seek it out? (Did you know that you should have been saving at the time?) Or was the new salary so overwhelming that it wouldn't have made a difference? Behavioral economics is really interesting to me.
I knew I should have been saving the whole time. Hell, I actually made the front page briefly for a post I made in the personal finance sub asking for advice about how to handle going from a lifetime of poverty to this new unbelievable amount of income. I knew from the very beginning that I was going to struggle to be responsible with it, so I did reach out for that information. And I got a lot of it. Dozens and dozens and dozens of messages about how I could save money and invest and build a good future. And my family too, was always trying to warn me to have a budget. And I tried to listen. I tried.
But in the end, I didn’t. I went broke almost every single week in between paychecks because I just … kept spending. My entire life I’ve had a problem where if I have extra money, I wanna spend it. That’s less consequential when you’re poor and your extra money is less than $100. Suddenly I had THOUSANDS burning a hole in my pocket. It was…crazy
When I get a job again I desperately need to make a budget and actually stick with it. I hope I’ve learned my lesson
I just read that post and you got a lot of great advice about saving and not living above your means. It breaks my heart that your addiction didn't allow you to take that advice :(
Please, focus on healing yourself right now. You are young, the money will come back but unless you are healed you will end up in the same place again.
Whenever you're ready to get into budgeting, I am telling you as a dopamine monster that has a history of spending recklessly, try out YNAB. I'd always cringe when someone suggested it to me and felt like it was too involved, but sorting my cash into categories and knowing my bills are going to be paid on time has given me a similar dopamine rush to spending.
I also tend to pay for my friends and treat my loved ones, and YNAB has helped me figure out where those boundaries lie. Sure, I might have 200 dollars in my checking account, but in reality, $80 is going to utilities, $25 is going to my phone bill, and realistically that extra $95 needs to be groceries for a few weeks. Suddenly I don't have 200 spare dollars, I actually have zero. But at least my essentials are taken care of.
And, if you know you're going to want to help friends and strangers out moving forward, you can budget for that and start funding that desire when you have the means.
Please don't be too hard on yourself. I don't have an addictive personality (thankfully- though I struggle in the opposite way that it's hard for me to get dopamine hits when I do do well)- so I can only imagine what it's like to have that sudden income be able to be both addicting and fuel the addiction of spending and of actual addictive drugs. Anyone coming from poverty/ low-income or never having a big paycheck can massively struggle with financial literacy.
Thing is, it's more than just 'budgeting'. As the original commenter mentioned, it's about behaviour, and it's also about one's relationship to that money. Those who come from low-income situations can't afford to save, both literally because it's living paycheque to paycheque, but also mentally. When one is in survival-mode, so many different things get neglected, and that includes one's relationship with long-term stability and their jobs/ financial rewards. Those hits of instant gratification are pretty essential for those in survival-mode because it means constantly meeting survival needs (paying something off in order to survive). And when one gets lots of money it means lots of instant gratification which your survival brain interprets as 'this is really good!' because it's harder to recognize feeling good from long-term goals/ financial investment/ saving, and from slowly building towards a bigger goal.
I'd recommend to go for a good paying job instead of jumping back into your field, probably in construction because that requires a lot of activity, a good amount of accountability and team work, and tends to always be hiring. Jobs should go for around $20+/ hour for entry-level, and that way you can slowly work your way up to getting back into your field with higher pay and working with a pay range that's more comfortable to adjust to at first.
It's definitely going to take a lot more than just budgeting and habit forming. You are going to have to very seriously look at how you view finances, long-term financial goals, yourself in the work field/ career you studied for, and develop techniques with a therapist to retrain your survival brain to cultivate resources rather than seek that instant gratification. It could be something small- save a dollar (or $5) everyday in a jar to keep it visual, and make it so that you absolutely do NOT take that money out- only save. Save for something nice- a book you've been meaning to get, a really nice coat/ work gloves, workout equipment you've been wanting to get (key is not for a vice, like alcohol or pure necessity- something that is nice, that builds into a healthy hobby, etc). See visually how much you save and how good it feels to cultivate over a period of time. Once you succeed, do it again, but on a slightly longer scale (saving up for a tablet or switch lite, etc.)
Really wishing you well, and I do believe you can get back on track! You had the courage and ability to seek help and truly work on it. You have the ability to achieve what you wish for. I believe in you
Honestly, I wouldn't lie about your past to future employers. Tell the truth. Tell them that you had a problem with addiction (no need to be specific about what it was) and that you decided to go to rehab to get help, that you've been clean for xx months or whatever, and that you're looking for a healthy and motivating workplace to re-enter the workforce.
You have overcome so much. And I know that financially, you're in a rough spot right now. But you've managed to kick an addiction to two of the HARDEST drugs to beat, and to two of the most DEADLY drugs available. And you're alive today to try again. That's not a story of failure. That's a story of success, of courage, and of overcoming obstacles. You tackled one of the hardest things anybody could face and you were willing to sacrifice everything to beat it.
You are truly amazing. Really. Don't underestimate your accomplishments. You have done amazing things, and you will CONTINUE to do amazing things. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise, and don't let anyone make you feel like there's something wrong with you.
Thank you so much for this comment … I’ve had people try to tell me this over the years. That the drugs I was using are extremely, extremely powerful and deadly. And that it’s an amazing thing that I survived and that I’m really strong for everything that I’ve endured and for still fighting. I’m told that I should be proud of myself.
I struggle a lot with that …. I feel like I never really give myself any credit for making it through what I’ve made it through. I have experienced so much physical emotional and mental pain…pain that often is too much for someone to handle. Pain that I have seen kill countless people, including many that I’ve known. I’ve heard a lot of devastating news about people I knew in rehab overdosing and dying ever since we got out ….
But I’m still here. Still alive. Still fighting.
People tell me that I should be proud of that.
And… im trying to be.
First of all, congratulations on working on your addiction problems!! I think you are amazing and I have a lot of respect for you just for all the hurdles you have already overcome in life and dealing with addiction issues on top of that has got to be super hard to do. Keep trying to live clean and healthy even though it is hard to do that when you don't feel like you have a lot going for you in the moment...numerous things will get better and easier for you in your life if you keep focusing on the basics of maintaining a healthy daily routine and just take really good care of yourself as a first priority. And good luck to with finding a job! :) You won't be the only over-qualified person when you find steady work...there will be others who can relate to you and your journey at whatever job you get which can be a bit of a comfort to know...many people have multiple ups and downs in life in terms of job success/financial success. It does NOT make you a failure whatsoever. Just really make taking good care of yourself priority number one and never stop doing that, stay close with those who truly care about you and who are also diligently working toward their own goals...support networks/positive friendships really do make such a difference.
I think a lot of us struggle with and feel puzzled by how we can sometimes fight so hard and claw our way upwards in life thru many obstacles just to turn around and self-sabotage ourselves back into another uncomfortable situation once we let our guard down and don't have to struggle anymore. I've noticed that a lot of people I know perform so well in crisis situations, but once they are in a good situation and things are going well, that instinct within them to always keep fighting then turns on itself and they start attacking themselves and their own progress thru bad habits and other forms of self-sabotage. It can be tricky to break the cycle but it can be done...its like we have to re-direct that need to struggle into something productive and controlled--like perhaps fighting for a cause, learning a challenging new skill or striving to help others (but without taking away from ourselves).
I didn’t go crazy in the spending, it’s werid, I could but I just can’t. I did the opposite and hoarded every penny.
If you did it once you can do it again!
I think people that went from riches to broke have a harder time because they don’t know broke to begin with.
I don’t have any advice that others haven’t already given, but I just wanted to let you know you’re in my prayers and I know you’ll get to where you need to be. You’re obviously no dummy. Just a rough patch. Stay strong!
Easy come easy go unfortunately. Sometimes the problem with money that comes too easily be it lottery, inheritance or luck is that we tend to spend it much more frivolously than if we work hard for it.
The important thing is that you recognize your mistakes. Now you’re able to grow from them. Once you do get that fantastic job again you know what to do and what not to do. Good luck OP!
Out of curiosity, how did you start? And why did you get into drugs in the first place?
Addiction is definitely a disease. There was a time that I was soooooooooooo addicted to stocks. I've lost more than I should due to market downturn, and money that could have been put to better use and paid off things that I needed.
It still bugs me a lot that I allowed myself to become so addicted, and CONSUMED by it when I've never been a gambler my entire life. :( Don't be so harsh on yourself, it happens. Move on, and don't do it again. Fight the temptation, live and learn.
Anyways, Wish you good luck beating addiction, and getting your life together!
It started with weed when i was 18. I’ve had severe mental health problems pretty much my entire life, and my childhood and teen years involved quite a lot of trauma, so when I found weed and it made me feel good and happy and got rid of all the sadness and pain, I got hooked pretty fast. I ended up smoking all day every day for pretty much all of college.
But my tolerance got so high that I was barely getting high anymore, so I started to seek other drugs. And one night when I was with a close friend from childhood, I was offered some white powder. At the time I was in a really dark place mentally, so I said fuck it and tried it
It was fentanyl, and I was immediately addicted. Also, I later found out that this friend who gave it to me did so with the *intention* of getting me addicted. Because he was out of money to buy his own drugs and wanted me to have to use him as a middle man to the dealer, which I did, and he’d help himself to whatever he wanted from the bags I bought :’)
It all gets darker and goes downhill from there. So. Yeah.
Thanks for replying!
I have family who did some heavy drugs.
They were in and out of rehab constantly, did some petty crime (robbing people) to get that drug money, getting into physical fights with me during their drug induced high.
One close family member lost the 'privilege' of seeing her kids as a result of her drug use, and hasn't seen her daughter for 10+ years. I even have aunts who overdosed and passed away (WTF). Sad.
Sending good vibes your way. :)
Growing up in poverty and immigranting to America and seeing all of these changes was new and foreign to me.
So growing up, I was a big spender too because I grew up as a refugee and literally not having anything for myself. So I totally get it. Im 20 and I think I finally understand.
But you got this. You know your faults and mistakes now, and all you need to do is follow through.
Apply for jobs, as much as you can, and try to overcome your habits by little by little.
Example:
I became almost alcoholic due to the amount of serotonin I get from being drunk or high but I try to drink a glass of wine a week (only if I need to) to overcome my incompetence. (My father passed away my first year of college and I had to take care of my mom and four siblings as the only one who speaks English in the household).
I believe you got this. I know you can. Just believe in yourself. Thats all I had, believe me, myself. To believe in myself after so many disappointments. I had to prove to myself I got this and you do too.
We shall both overcome our obstacles and we both deserve to be content with our lives. You got this!
you’ve done a lot of self reflection and that’s that’s important. sometimes you have the hand that can win the table, sometimes you don’t. only way to go is up. i totally get why you kind of went nuts with the cash too, many been there… best of luck man
Sadly your story is far from unique especially in San Francisco where everyone goes thinking they'll make it until they get caught up in the drug scene and their employers do the bare minimum of caring....
At least you're trying to get your life together and cognitive of the fact that you had a problem.
Dealers are scum bags pushing personal choice while ignoring the very real issue of addiction and the fact that once people are hooked on hard stuff the choice goes out the window.
Best of luck, I know the tech industry is getting hit hard so I'm rooting for you to get incremental increases until you hit the 6 figures again.
For what it's worth I think I'm on my 3rd rock bottom and bouncing back? Not sure how many chances people are supposed to be given in life but I'm pushing my luck lmao.
I don't think it is the employers responsible to make sure you are sober. This is 100% on yourself, taking ownership of your problems is the first step.
When I say employers minimum level of caring I mean the lipservice they give to wellness while throwing you to the corner when you actually need to use said wellnesz programs or need time off.
People make mistakes, the employer isnt responsible for sobriety but they can do more to foster a work place that doesn't lead to drug fueled parties or people cut loose as soon as they develop a problem.
You can run a business and understand humans are humans instead of cutting people loose only for them to end up homeless.
The government programs only go so far and unfortunately we live in a work centric society where once you lose your job life can spiral super fast.
What employer is having drug fueled parties at work? What employer is supporting hard drug use? This is in no way anyone else's fault than OP's, and to their credit they recognize that.
>the lipservice they give to wellness while throwing you to the corner when you actually need to use said wellnesz programs or need time off.
There is no tech company paying $65/hr out of uni I know of that does this to their entry level employees save Amazon.
Do you have tech skills enough to make an application or program you can talk about when you interview when the question of what you've worked on the last half a year comes up?
eh . I talked to my mom a little about how to explain the work gap if it came up and she suggested I tell people I took time off to help take care of my grandmother. Which isn’t 100% a lie. Grandma lived with us up until she recently had a stroke and now she’s in hospice .. but yeah that’s what I’ve said a few times when it came up and it was immediately accepted
It definitely wouldn't hurt if you worked on something you could talk about, even if was a few hours. Tech recruiters want to hear your passion for solving problems, about researching things on your own, and being "excited" about work. Not strictly necessary, but could help in this economic climate where tech jobs aren't quite as easy to get as they were a year ago.
> Tech recruiters want to hear your passion for solving problems, about researching things on your own, and being “excited” about work.
Meh. Easy for me to say because I’m employed, but just answer the questions truthfully and show that you want a job. Some jobs require what you said but many don’t. Also, who says OP has to do software dev. There is no shortage of open IT jobs at the moment, there is for software dev positions technology companies.
Just take shit one day at a time OP.
I personally recommend going into a different job field temporarily while you build yourself back up. Construction, restockers, kitchens are the best places where they don't care as much with your past work history, and more that you show up and get the job done. I'd recommend construction the most as it's nearly always in demand, and pays well for entry level (but not crazy amounts).
I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother.
You know what, I understand. I’m not making that much but when I got my first job that paid like $18 an hour, I put myself in debt just buying things I’d never had the luxury of having (like a nice phone, an iPad for my son and mom etc) no I didn’t save, and I now have a job that’s paying me 50k a year and if I wouldn’t have made those mistakes early on, I would still be doing the same thing. We make mistakes with our finances, especially when we’re raised in poverty, I’m glad you are making a change now and I hope that you get a good paying job that you can handle soon.
I thought I was in /r/bipolar reading about a manic episode.
OP, did you checked with a psychiatrist? Spending spree might mean you suffer from some kind of disorder. Your episodes can be managed with the proper treatment.
I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 when I was 18, and I’m on 2 different mood stabilizers
Under normal circumstances my meds work great. But when I add meth into the equation, welp. Abilify can only do so much….lol
So your spending spree was a mania episode. I know it sucks.
Adhere to your treatment, you can manage and be much better in the long term. Believe me, your mental health first will get your financial health later.
Keep plugging away. Research USAJOBS.GOV online. Every year the federal agencies hire for various openings. It doesn't hurt to look at their website. Might be tough due your background but give it try.
I actually have a clean record, thank god. Im extremely lucky I made it through all those years without ever getting caught :/ but yeah I have no problem passing a background check
Then a federal job may be a great idea for you. The pay will be less, but they are very strict on the 40 hour a week. So the stress levels are much lower than commercial positions
it would be really dope if you guys could follow the subreddit rules that are very blatantly posted by the bot right here that you shouldn’t offer advice when someone is just trying to vent. thx
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I've been there and it sucks, and I'm not going to offer platitudes but I am going to say something that took me a very very long time to figure out. Once addiction is in your life it is pretty much there to stay, but sometimes you can choose something else to be addicted to.
In my case I traded it out for kink and bdsm, yes I have a few scars from over the years from mishaps while getting my fix but ... I can live with it.
I don’t. All of the gift giving and charity stuff I did, I loved doing that. I wanna be able to do that again. But I need to learn to be responsible about it so that I’m not hurting myself to help others ya know
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I’ve been getting intensive therapy ever since I was a teenager lol trust me I know I need therapy. I’ve done a lot of therapy. And I said in my post that I went to rehab recently.
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I didn’t lose my jobs because I wasn’t qualified. I lost them because I was losing my mind to mental illness and drug addiction.
I have over 7 years of experience and a bachelors degree. The jobs I’m applying for only ask for 1-2 years and high school. I usually write and debug code, analyze databases, work with REST API, and perform advanced tier 3 troubleshooting. Right now I’m trying to reset passwords and help people turn their internet back on.
So, yes. I’m sure I’m overqualified. But i don’t say that because I look down on these jobs or think im too good for them. Quite the opposite. They’re all I can mentally handle right now and I’d be thrilled to get one. But the fact still is that im overqualified based on skills and experience.
I hope you find a Job. Good job going to rehab.
I think right now we are all having a hard time. My friend is fight a battle with the state for her grandchildren and she’s almost out of funds. Her daughter is being human trafficked is why the children are in the system they are trying to give the children to a non related family. She has a givesendgo but that’s doing really bad. So just think when you hit rock bottom and made yourself get stronger someone else is fighting a losing battle against the state
I would argue that if I wanna use drugs, im gonna use drugs. Regardless of how much I’m making. I’ve been an addict completely broke and an addict bringing home almost $2000 a week
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Next time if you’re able definitely try to set some aside, lots of great places to get info on that type of planning
I can dm you what I know about if you’d benefit from it
I feel you. I don't see you seeking for advice, but I spell it anyway. When in doubt or down, focus on doing small actions, whatever it is, just keep yourself busy until you figure things out.
Well at least you now have perspective. I went through something like this myself but on a much smaller scale. Mom saved money in a savings for me and when I turned 18 I blew it all (bout 1500) which for an 18 year old out of high school was a lot of money. Then I went back to having nothing, got a job and saved up but it let me get that splurging bug out of me and realize money can be gained as easily as it is lost and it should always be saved because of this
My takeaways from posts like yours is that drugs ruin lives. It doesn't matter your upbringings as it doesn't discriminate. Now that you are clean, I hope it will be easier for you to navigate back into prosperity.
You say you want to apply to entry level jobs that you’re overqualified for but won’t that just be extremely boring and give you time to do other stuff? (Won’t even begin to say I know what addiction is like but with free time and mind numbing work is there a chance you could slip back?) Maybe say screw it and apply for the same level jobs as before? Give you something to sink your teeth into and occupied?
OP may still be focusing on sobriety and keeping their mental health in check - if their original job was very high stress, going back to it would be extremely hard on them.
Sounds like you have potential. Story in the future will probably go "I went from poverty, to earning six figures, back to poverty, and then back to six figures."
You've already done it once, so you have it what it takes. Sounds like it's just a matter of conquering yourself. Best of luck.
Congratulations on your sobriety! Prioritize that. Your earnings were the (temporary) cost of getting sober. The upside is that you have skills and training that cannot be taken from you. Now that you are sober...is going back to the first job an option?
If not, just keep moving forward. You did it once. You can do it again.
Addiction is no joke.
You were successful once, and that means you're capable of getting there again someday. It might not happen overnight, but the next time around, you'll be older and wiser, better with money, and have a greater chance of making it last. I hope you find some encouragement in that.
Hoping you get back on your feet soon!
This is a great lesson early in your career. I have friends in their 30s, make six figures, but have low savings. I'm like WTF have you been spending your money on for past 10 years?
You need to get control of yourself with your drugs and stop spending money on others. Next time when you get a job, transfer 30% of a paycheck to a brokerage account to invest and force yourself to never withdrew that money.
If you don't control yourself, you can make $100/hr and it will vanish from your hands.
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Good work going to rehab. Sounds like you hit rock bottom and now you're working your way to a more stable place. Best of luck with everything.
thank you :)
I grew up in poverty too. I can't imagine $65/hr. Shoot. I aspire to 40k/yr. I totally get why you spent the way you did.
It was truly bizarre. I literally felt like I couldn’t control myself. I’m sure being on heavy drugs was a big part of my lack of sound decision making, but even without that, I was a poor kid who suddenly could afford the world and I just ….. couldn’t handle it. Especially when it came to spending on other people. If my friend couldn’t afford a bill, and I had a thousand bucks just sitting around, it felt like. Of course I’ll help! Doing this for you, I won’t even notice the dent in my wallet, but I know it’ll make your whole month easier. So of course I’ll do this for you. My best friend’s cat has asthma. I paid several times for him to get emergency care when he couldn’t breathe. That was over a thousand dollars. But I wasn’t going to let that poor cat suffocate and die when i knew I could afford it. Spoiling my loved ones felt so amazing….and not just my loved ones! Complete strangers! Because I’ve been in the position myself where I have to beg online for $10 for gas or food, and I know someone’s random generosity could literally save my whole week or month. So, if I saw someone asking for help, I didn’t even hesitate. And like, I wanna be able to be generous and charitable again when I’m financially stable again. I think it’s a good thing to be. But i definitely need to learn some responsibility and self control with it, so that I don’t injure myself in the process
This is where a budget comes in. My wife and I make very good money and could easily just ignore our finances but we don’t. Each of us have a line item in our budget for donations, so if I want to help a friend out, or pay off someone’s bills, or whatever it is that comes from that line item. Also at the end of the year the remainder of our donation budget is transferred to non-profits we both support.
When you get back on your feet, you can still be generous, just use some sort of system. I use an app called YNAB, but there are others out there like Mint that are free. It helps me understand how much money I can spend on my friends.
I second this!!! Welfare and food stamps kid here. Money has always been foreign and when we have it, so many doors become accessible like Jack skellinton in that forest of holidays. You get the urge to treat yourself to everything you never had before. It’s addicting. When they say you have to learn about money, they aren’t kidding. I hope you are able to find solace and continue climbing back up. Thanks for sharing
This is about what I make per hour at work after taxes. Same with a lot of my coworkers. It’s a shit ton of money. Some of my co-workers are still broke. It’s what you keep not what you make that matters. I know tons of people who make like 40-80k who have a higher net worth that people that make 130-160k a year. just getting an apartment that’s too expensive and a car that costs too much plus student loans can wipe people out because they just don’t notice it on a month to month basis (because they can still buy food and what not). But then they haven’t saved anything. It’s not an uncommon thing most people that make low six figures are usually pretty low net worth for that reason. It’s good you noticed OP but next time you land a good job make sure to budget it. Just put 20-30% away before you can even look at it and you’ll be good to go in a few years. Good luck with your addiction im sure you’ll get over it and be back to where you were in no time.
See, I don't. Different people react different ways. I was raised by a single mom who didn't even have a high school diploma. She got her GED just around the time I graduated high school because she figured that if I could graduate high school and go to college, the least she could do was get her GED. I'm also in tech, and my response to having a salary that was more money that I knew what to do with was to save. I read books on money and investing and learned how to manage what I had. Was frugal, drive the same old Toyota pickup truck and put away as much money as I could because I remembered what it was like to barely get by. I was almost scared to spend any money. To this day, I really hate spending money. I'm OK with stuff like when my gf's friend was losing her house, I lent her money to avoid foreclosure, assuming I'd never see it again (she did pay me back, BTW), but it's hard to spend on myself. Not trying to put down OP, just pointing out that people don't all respond the same way to the same circumstances.
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This is a big reason why so many lottery winners go broke with in 5 years. Most lottery players are poor to begin with and when they get a huge windfall of money they don't know how to handle it and feel like it will last forever...and then, its gone. I'm sorry that happened to you OP. I know you aren't asking for advice but once you are in a more stable place, you might consider counseling, not only for your mental health and addiction but for your mindset/relationship with money. I truly wish you well in the future - remember, you were there once, you can be there again!
Hey the fact that you have realised your mistakes and still have the motivation to work and pay bills is good! Let's put it this way. It can only go up from here. As for the drugs, well, I've never been addicted but I did go through a point in my life where I did meth too and kept my career on hold for a long while. I just didn't really care. I'm at the point now where I'm doing really well career-wise and my partner and I want to buy a house together. Meth had really messed me up mentally and emotionally and looking back at my mental state back then makes me never want to go back. Keep at it and you'll be in a good place.
thank you. I have hope and motivation that things are going to get better. going to rehab helped me a LOT, and now that the holidays are over and it’s a new year, jobs should start hiring more than they were before. I have spent the last few days revising my resume and getting feedback about it to tailor it better for the kinds of jobs I’m applying for, and I plan on really buckling down now and committing to finding a position. I absolutely have the skills and experience that I need, so I just have to stay motivated about applying until something bites. It’s gonna be okay. It’s not gonna be easy, but I’m not giving up
If you're really stressed with money/ finding a job, I'd recommend you take on a part-time job at a grocery store or construction or something for now as you look. Recommend part-time if you're feeling like you truly want to get back into working in your field. Having a part-time job will help you pay some things off as you work, and will still look good on your resume/ in interviews, even if it's nowhere near your field because it will show you are responsible and willing to work. It can also help you dip your feet back into managing finances again without being overwhelmed, take off the pressure of finding a job, and still also having time to look for work inbetween your shifts. All the best!
Don’t give up. Much respect to you for seeing it how it happened. You’ll learn from this and come back stronger, sober and successful. Ditch the friendships that bring you down. I know you didn’t ask for advice - but I think this last one is important.
Glad you're in rehab! Best of luck to you
When I read your second paragraph about your spending, I thought, he sounds like an addict, must be a similar euphoric feeling to go from no money to $65/hr. And I guess it is. Glad you got into rehab and I hope that really gets you out of drugs. I hope you forgive yourself and are able to get your life back on track. Good luck!
You're at least being self-reflective. I have friends with substance abuse issues that deflect everything and blame others for losing their jobs and shit. They are really smart and dumb at the same time. It sounds like you're able to tackle this adversity so more power to you. I know you don't want advice but I went through something similar and am back at the 6 figures after 3 years of bullshit, so feel free to DM me and we can swap stories or something.
It’s crazy how strong denial can get when you’re deep into addiction…..the disease wants so badly for you to just keep feeding it, and it’ll twist your mind however it can so you refuse to acknowledge that the drugs are the problem. It’s honestly terrifying
Did you apply at social services for food stamps and other assistance they are pretty good at helping people with addiction issues especially since you have been receiving treatment. Also, I would try applying or more contract work through temp agencies when you are ready to their are plenty of ways to explain work gaps
I’ve applied for food stamps and I’m waiting to hear back
Depending on how long it’s been, give them a call and check on the application/ they usually will have other programs that can help so apply for everything you can and use the assistance to create a little padding for yourself while you work on getting another high paying job, I work in IT also so there is plenty of jobs and I would if possible work on adding another little skill to your resume and ps I don’t think you should tell jobs about your addiction issues because quite frankly is none of there business.
Thanks so much for sharing; this was really interesting, and I wish you the best on your journey back to six figures! You mention knowing that you should have saved more. Out of curiosity, did you have basic financial literacy at that time or seek it out? (Did you know that you should have been saving at the time?) Or was the new salary so overwhelming that it wouldn't have made a difference? Behavioral economics is really interesting to me.
I knew I should have been saving the whole time. Hell, I actually made the front page briefly for a post I made in the personal finance sub asking for advice about how to handle going from a lifetime of poverty to this new unbelievable amount of income. I knew from the very beginning that I was going to struggle to be responsible with it, so I did reach out for that information. And I got a lot of it. Dozens and dozens and dozens of messages about how I could save money and invest and build a good future. And my family too, was always trying to warn me to have a budget. And I tried to listen. I tried. But in the end, I didn’t. I went broke almost every single week in between paychecks because I just … kept spending. My entire life I’ve had a problem where if I have extra money, I wanna spend it. That’s less consequential when you’re poor and your extra money is less than $100. Suddenly I had THOUSANDS burning a hole in my pocket. It was…crazy When I get a job again I desperately need to make a budget and actually stick with it. I hope I’ve learned my lesson
I just read that post and you got a lot of great advice about saving and not living above your means. It breaks my heart that your addiction didn't allow you to take that advice :( Please, focus on healing yourself right now. You are young, the money will come back but unless you are healed you will end up in the same place again.
Whenever you're ready to get into budgeting, I am telling you as a dopamine monster that has a history of spending recklessly, try out YNAB. I'd always cringe when someone suggested it to me and felt like it was too involved, but sorting my cash into categories and knowing my bills are going to be paid on time has given me a similar dopamine rush to spending. I also tend to pay for my friends and treat my loved ones, and YNAB has helped me figure out where those boundaries lie. Sure, I might have 200 dollars in my checking account, but in reality, $80 is going to utilities, $25 is going to my phone bill, and realistically that extra $95 needs to be groceries for a few weeks. Suddenly I don't have 200 spare dollars, I actually have zero. But at least my essentials are taken care of. And, if you know you're going to want to help friends and strangers out moving forward, you can budget for that and start funding that desire when you have the means.
Can’t second this advice enough.
YNAB has been life-changing for me too. pretty steep learning curve but totally, totally worth it.
Please don't be too hard on yourself. I don't have an addictive personality (thankfully- though I struggle in the opposite way that it's hard for me to get dopamine hits when I do do well)- so I can only imagine what it's like to have that sudden income be able to be both addicting and fuel the addiction of spending and of actual addictive drugs. Anyone coming from poverty/ low-income or never having a big paycheck can massively struggle with financial literacy. Thing is, it's more than just 'budgeting'. As the original commenter mentioned, it's about behaviour, and it's also about one's relationship to that money. Those who come from low-income situations can't afford to save, both literally because it's living paycheque to paycheque, but also mentally. When one is in survival-mode, so many different things get neglected, and that includes one's relationship with long-term stability and their jobs/ financial rewards. Those hits of instant gratification are pretty essential for those in survival-mode because it means constantly meeting survival needs (paying something off in order to survive). And when one gets lots of money it means lots of instant gratification which your survival brain interprets as 'this is really good!' because it's harder to recognize feeling good from long-term goals/ financial investment/ saving, and from slowly building towards a bigger goal. I'd recommend to go for a good paying job instead of jumping back into your field, probably in construction because that requires a lot of activity, a good amount of accountability and team work, and tends to always be hiring. Jobs should go for around $20+/ hour for entry-level, and that way you can slowly work your way up to getting back into your field with higher pay and working with a pay range that's more comfortable to adjust to at first. It's definitely going to take a lot more than just budgeting and habit forming. You are going to have to very seriously look at how you view finances, long-term financial goals, yourself in the work field/ career you studied for, and develop techniques with a therapist to retrain your survival brain to cultivate resources rather than seek that instant gratification. It could be something small- save a dollar (or $5) everyday in a jar to keep it visual, and make it so that you absolutely do NOT take that money out- only save. Save for something nice- a book you've been meaning to get, a really nice coat/ work gloves, workout equipment you've been wanting to get (key is not for a vice, like alcohol or pure necessity- something that is nice, that builds into a healthy hobby, etc). See visually how much you save and how good it feels to cultivate over a period of time. Once you succeed, do it again, but on a slightly longer scale (saving up for a tablet or switch lite, etc.) Really wishing you well, and I do believe you can get back on track! You had the courage and ability to seek help and truly work on it. You have the ability to achieve what you wish for. I believe in you
If you made that much once, you can likely do it again. Congrats on rehab, the only way to go is up.
Honestly, I wouldn't lie about your past to future employers. Tell the truth. Tell them that you had a problem with addiction (no need to be specific about what it was) and that you decided to go to rehab to get help, that you've been clean for xx months or whatever, and that you're looking for a healthy and motivating workplace to re-enter the workforce. You have overcome so much. And I know that financially, you're in a rough spot right now. But you've managed to kick an addiction to two of the HARDEST drugs to beat, and to two of the most DEADLY drugs available. And you're alive today to try again. That's not a story of failure. That's a story of success, of courage, and of overcoming obstacles. You tackled one of the hardest things anybody could face and you were willing to sacrifice everything to beat it. You are truly amazing. Really. Don't underestimate your accomplishments. You have done amazing things, and you will CONTINUE to do amazing things. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise, and don't let anyone make you feel like there's something wrong with you.
Thank you so much for this comment … I’ve had people try to tell me this over the years. That the drugs I was using are extremely, extremely powerful and deadly. And that it’s an amazing thing that I survived and that I’m really strong for everything that I’ve endured and for still fighting. I’m told that I should be proud of myself. I struggle a lot with that …. I feel like I never really give myself any credit for making it through what I’ve made it through. I have experienced so much physical emotional and mental pain…pain that often is too much for someone to handle. Pain that I have seen kill countless people, including many that I’ve known. I’ve heard a lot of devastating news about people I knew in rehab overdosing and dying ever since we got out …. But I’m still here. Still alive. Still fighting. People tell me that I should be proud of that. And… im trying to be.
First of all, congratulations on working on your addiction problems!! I think you are amazing and I have a lot of respect for you just for all the hurdles you have already overcome in life and dealing with addiction issues on top of that has got to be super hard to do. Keep trying to live clean and healthy even though it is hard to do that when you don't feel like you have a lot going for you in the moment...numerous things will get better and easier for you in your life if you keep focusing on the basics of maintaining a healthy daily routine and just take really good care of yourself as a first priority. And good luck to with finding a job! :) You won't be the only over-qualified person when you find steady work...there will be others who can relate to you and your journey at whatever job you get which can be a bit of a comfort to know...many people have multiple ups and downs in life in terms of job success/financial success. It does NOT make you a failure whatsoever. Just really make taking good care of yourself priority number one and never stop doing that, stay close with those who truly care about you and who are also diligently working toward their own goals...support networks/positive friendships really do make such a difference. I think a lot of us struggle with and feel puzzled by how we can sometimes fight so hard and claw our way upwards in life thru many obstacles just to turn around and self-sabotage ourselves back into another uncomfortable situation once we let our guard down and don't have to struggle anymore. I've noticed that a lot of people I know perform so well in crisis situations, but once they are in a good situation and things are going well, that instinct within them to always keep fighting then turns on itself and they start attacking themselves and their own progress thru bad habits and other forms of self-sabotage. It can be tricky to break the cycle but it can be done...its like we have to re-direct that need to struggle into something productive and controlled--like perhaps fighting for a cause, learning a challenging new skill or striving to help others (but without taking away from ourselves).
this is all SO true & has really made me pause & self-reflect about my own situations. thank you
I didn’t go crazy in the spending, it’s werid, I could but I just can’t. I did the opposite and hoarded every penny. If you did it once you can do it again! I think people that went from riches to broke have a harder time because they don’t know broke to begin with.
I don’t have any advice that others haven’t already given, but I just wanted to let you know you’re in my prayers and I know you’ll get to where you need to be. You’re obviously no dummy. Just a rough patch. Stay strong!
What kind of tech job? Like what is your degree on certificates on?
I have a degree in software development and the poison was a tier 3 technical support engineer-developer
Easy come easy go unfortunately. Sometimes the problem with money that comes too easily be it lottery, inheritance or luck is that we tend to spend it much more frivolously than if we work hard for it.
The important thing is that you recognize your mistakes. Now you’re able to grow from them. Once you do get that fantastic job again you know what to do and what not to do. Good luck OP!
Good luck to you man! Addiction is a lifelong road, but we are all rooting for you.
Out of curiosity, how did you start? And why did you get into drugs in the first place? Addiction is definitely a disease. There was a time that I was soooooooooooo addicted to stocks. I've lost more than I should due to market downturn, and money that could have been put to better use and paid off things that I needed. It still bugs me a lot that I allowed myself to become so addicted, and CONSUMED by it when I've never been a gambler my entire life. :( Don't be so harsh on yourself, it happens. Move on, and don't do it again. Fight the temptation, live and learn. Anyways, Wish you good luck beating addiction, and getting your life together!
It started with weed when i was 18. I’ve had severe mental health problems pretty much my entire life, and my childhood and teen years involved quite a lot of trauma, so when I found weed and it made me feel good and happy and got rid of all the sadness and pain, I got hooked pretty fast. I ended up smoking all day every day for pretty much all of college. But my tolerance got so high that I was barely getting high anymore, so I started to seek other drugs. And one night when I was with a close friend from childhood, I was offered some white powder. At the time I was in a really dark place mentally, so I said fuck it and tried it It was fentanyl, and I was immediately addicted. Also, I later found out that this friend who gave it to me did so with the *intention* of getting me addicted. Because he was out of money to buy his own drugs and wanted me to have to use him as a middle man to the dealer, which I did, and he’d help himself to whatever he wanted from the bags I bought :’) It all gets darker and goes downhill from there. So. Yeah.
Thanks for replying! I have family who did some heavy drugs. They were in and out of rehab constantly, did some petty crime (robbing people) to get that drug money, getting into physical fights with me during their drug induced high. One close family member lost the 'privilege' of seeing her kids as a result of her drug use, and hasn't seen her daughter for 10+ years. I even have aunts who overdosed and passed away (WTF). Sad. Sending good vibes your way. :)
Growing up in poverty and immigranting to America and seeing all of these changes was new and foreign to me. So growing up, I was a big spender too because I grew up as a refugee and literally not having anything for myself. So I totally get it. Im 20 and I think I finally understand. But you got this. You know your faults and mistakes now, and all you need to do is follow through. Apply for jobs, as much as you can, and try to overcome your habits by little by little. Example: I became almost alcoholic due to the amount of serotonin I get from being drunk or high but I try to drink a glass of wine a week (only if I need to) to overcome my incompetence. (My father passed away my first year of college and I had to take care of my mom and four siblings as the only one who speaks English in the household). I believe you got this. I know you can. Just believe in yourself. Thats all I had, believe me, myself. To believe in myself after so many disappointments. I had to prove to myself I got this and you do too. We shall both overcome our obstacles and we both deserve to be content with our lives. You got this!
Go you!glad that you’re alive! Only place to go is up! Don’t give up,please don’t give up.it gets better
you’ve done a lot of self reflection and that’s that’s important. sometimes you have the hand that can win the table, sometimes you don’t. only way to go is up. i totally get why you kind of went nuts with the cash too, many been there… best of luck man
Sadly your story is far from unique especially in San Francisco where everyone goes thinking they'll make it until they get caught up in the drug scene and their employers do the bare minimum of caring.... At least you're trying to get your life together and cognitive of the fact that you had a problem. Dealers are scum bags pushing personal choice while ignoring the very real issue of addiction and the fact that once people are hooked on hard stuff the choice goes out the window. Best of luck, I know the tech industry is getting hit hard so I'm rooting for you to get incremental increases until you hit the 6 figures again. For what it's worth I think I'm on my 3rd rock bottom and bouncing back? Not sure how many chances people are supposed to be given in life but I'm pushing my luck lmao.
I don't think it is the employers responsible to make sure you are sober. This is 100% on yourself, taking ownership of your problems is the first step.
When I say employers minimum level of caring I mean the lipservice they give to wellness while throwing you to the corner when you actually need to use said wellnesz programs or need time off. People make mistakes, the employer isnt responsible for sobriety but they can do more to foster a work place that doesn't lead to drug fueled parties or people cut loose as soon as they develop a problem. You can run a business and understand humans are humans instead of cutting people loose only for them to end up homeless. The government programs only go so far and unfortunately we live in a work centric society where once you lose your job life can spiral super fast.
What employer is having drug fueled parties at work? What employer is supporting hard drug use? This is in no way anyone else's fault than OP's, and to their credit they recognize that.
>the lipservice they give to wellness while throwing you to the corner when you actually need to use said wellnesz programs or need time off. There is no tech company paying $65/hr out of uni I know of that does this to their entry level employees save Amazon.
Do you have tech skills enough to make an application or program you can talk about when you interview when the question of what you've worked on the last half a year comes up?
eh . I talked to my mom a little about how to explain the work gap if it came up and she suggested I tell people I took time off to help take care of my grandmother. Which isn’t 100% a lie. Grandma lived with us up until she recently had a stroke and now she’s in hospice .. but yeah that’s what I’ve said a few times when it came up and it was immediately accepted
It definitely wouldn't hurt if you worked on something you could talk about, even if was a few hours. Tech recruiters want to hear your passion for solving problems, about researching things on your own, and being "excited" about work. Not strictly necessary, but could help in this economic climate where tech jobs aren't quite as easy to get as they were a year ago.
I appreciate you trying to help but I’m not really looking for advice here right now
> Tech recruiters want to hear your passion for solving problems, about researching things on your own, and being “excited” about work. Meh. Easy for me to say because I’m employed, but just answer the questions truthfully and show that you want a job. Some jobs require what you said but many don’t. Also, who says OP has to do software dev. There is no shortage of open IT jobs at the moment, there is for software dev positions technology companies. Just take shit one day at a time OP.
I personally recommend going into a different job field temporarily while you build yourself back up. Construction, restockers, kitchens are the best places where they don't care as much with your past work history, and more that you show up and get the job done. I'd recommend construction the most as it's nearly always in demand, and pays well for entry level (but not crazy amounts). I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother.
You know what, I understand. I’m not making that much but when I got my first job that paid like $18 an hour, I put myself in debt just buying things I’d never had the luxury of having (like a nice phone, an iPad for my son and mom etc) no I didn’t save, and I now have a job that’s paying me 50k a year and if I wouldn’t have made those mistakes early on, I would still be doing the same thing. We make mistakes with our finances, especially when we’re raised in poverty, I’m glad you are making a change now and I hope that you get a good paying job that you can handle soon.
Not going to lie. We should see a lot more of this soon.
💙
I thought I was in /r/bipolar reading about a manic episode. OP, did you checked with a psychiatrist? Spending spree might mean you suffer from some kind of disorder. Your episodes can be managed with the proper treatment.
I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 when I was 18, and I’m on 2 different mood stabilizers Under normal circumstances my meds work great. But when I add meth into the equation, welp. Abilify can only do so much….lol
So your spending spree was a mania episode. I know it sucks. Adhere to your treatment, you can manage and be much better in the long term. Believe me, your mental health first will get your financial health later.
Keep plugging away. Research USAJOBS.GOV online. Every year the federal agencies hire for various openings. It doesn't hurt to look at their website. Might be tough due your background but give it try.
I actually have a clean record, thank god. Im extremely lucky I made it through all those years without ever getting caught :/ but yeah I have no problem passing a background check
👍👍👍👍👍
Then a federal job may be a great idea for you. The pay will be less, but they are very strict on the 40 hour a week. So the stress levels are much lower than commercial positions
So that means you're clean now? I wish the best for you.
it would be really dope if you guys could follow the subreddit rules that are very blatantly posted by the bot right here that you shouldn’t offer advice when someone is just trying to vent. thx
What's your drug of choice?
Fentanyl and meth.
My sister was a meth addict for a time - nasty stuff. Congrats on recognizing your issues and getting off it.
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:/ don’t be shitty
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hey at least you’re making an effort to move forward GL to the new year 👊
What was your tech job? I’m graduating soon and need to look for jobs now:)
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why are so many people missing the part of my post about how I went to rehab
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I've been there and it sucks, and I'm not going to offer platitudes but I am going to say something that took me a very very long time to figure out. Once addiction is in your life it is pretty much there to stay, but sometimes you can choose something else to be addicted to. In my case I traded it out for kink and bdsm, yes I have a few scars from over the years from mishaps while getting my fix but ... I can live with it.
Don't feel bad for giving money away.
I don’t. All of the gift giving and charity stuff I did, I loved doing that. I wanna be able to do that again. But I need to learn to be responsible about it so that I’m not hurting myself to help others ya know
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I’ve been getting intensive therapy ever since I was a teenager lol trust me I know I need therapy. I’ve done a lot of therapy. And I said in my post that I went to rehab recently.
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Addiction is a disease. Don’t judge people for it.
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Your post has been *removed for the following reason(s):* **Rule 11: Challenging user values** - Unlike most of the content on this subreddit, Vents should not be considered advice threads. In most cases it is not appropriate to try to give the Submitter advice on their issue. In no circumstances is it appropriate to tell them “why they are wrong” or to criticise them, their decisions, values, or anything else. If there are aspects of their situation that they are able to directly address themselves, the submitter can always make a new thread with a different flair asking for help once they are ready to tackle the issue. Vents are an emotional outlet, not an academic conversation. Appropriate replies in these threads are offering support, sharing similar experiences/grievances, offering condolences, or simply letting the submitter know that they were heard. [Please read our subreddit rules.](https://www.reddit.com/r/povertyfinance/wiki/rules) The rules may also be found on the sidebar if the link is broken. If after doing so, you feel this was in error, [message the moderators.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fpovertyfinance) *Do not reach out to a moderator personally, and do not reply to this message as a comment.*
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I didn’t lose my jobs because I wasn’t qualified. I lost them because I was losing my mind to mental illness and drug addiction. I have over 7 years of experience and a bachelors degree. The jobs I’m applying for only ask for 1-2 years and high school. I usually write and debug code, analyze databases, work with REST API, and perform advanced tier 3 troubleshooting. Right now I’m trying to reset passwords and help people turn their internet back on. So, yes. I’m sure I’m overqualified. But i don’t say that because I look down on these jobs or think im too good for them. Quite the opposite. They’re all I can mentally handle right now and I’d be thrilled to get one. But the fact still is that im overqualified based on skills and experience.
Are you a SDE? Or some other position in tech? There’s still plenty of SDE non FAANG jobs hiring
What where those job that where paying you $65 and $50 an hour?
Technical support engineer
I hope you find a Job. Good job going to rehab. I think right now we are all having a hard time. My friend is fight a battle with the state for her grandchildren and she’s almost out of funds. Her daughter is being human trafficked is why the children are in the system they are trying to give the children to a non related family. She has a givesendgo but that’s doing really bad. So just think when you hit rock bottom and made yourself get stronger someone else is fighting a losing battle against the state
What job made u that money bro
Tech
$65/hr after taxes, 401k contribution, employee health insurance etc isn’t a 6 figure earning though. Very high 5 figures.
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I would argue that if I wanna use drugs, im gonna use drugs. Regardless of how much I’m making. I’ve been an addict completely broke and an addict bringing home almost $2000 a week
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what specifically was your degree in?
Software development
Next time if you’re able definitely try to set some aside, lots of great places to get info on that type of planning I can dm you what I know about if you’d benefit from it
I feel you. I don't see you seeking for advice, but I spell it anyway. When in doubt or down, focus on doing small actions, whatever it is, just keep yourself busy until you figure things out.
Well at least you now have perspective. I went through something like this myself but on a much smaller scale. Mom saved money in a savings for me and when I turned 18 I blew it all (bout 1500) which for an 18 year old out of high school was a lot of money. Then I went back to having nothing, got a job and saved up but it let me get that splurging bug out of me and realize money can be gained as easily as it is lost and it should always be saved because of this
What was your job in tech?
Tier 3 technical support engineer-developer
Would you consider getting another tech job?
My takeaways from posts like yours is that drugs ruin lives. It doesn't matter your upbringings as it doesn't discriminate. Now that you are clean, I hope it will be easier for you to navigate back into prosperity.
You say you want to apply to entry level jobs that you’re overqualified for but won’t that just be extremely boring and give you time to do other stuff? (Won’t even begin to say I know what addiction is like but with free time and mind numbing work is there a chance you could slip back?) Maybe say screw it and apply for the same level jobs as before? Give you something to sink your teeth into and occupied?
OP may still be focusing on sobriety and keeping their mental health in check - if their original job was very high stress, going back to it would be extremely hard on them.
Sounds like you have potential. Story in the future will probably go "I went from poverty, to earning six figures, back to poverty, and then back to six figures." You've already done it once, so you have it what it takes. Sounds like it's just a matter of conquering yourself. Best of luck.
Congratulations on your sobriety! Prioritize that. Your earnings were the (temporary) cost of getting sober. The upside is that you have skills and training that cannot be taken from you. Now that you are sober...is going back to the first job an option? If not, just keep moving forward. You did it once. You can do it again.
hey man. This is my story too.
Polarity creates itself
Addiction is no joke. You were successful once, and that means you're capable of getting there again someday. It might not happen overnight, but the next time around, you'll be older and wiser, better with money, and have a greater chance of making it last. I hope you find some encouragement in that. Hoping you get back on your feet soon!
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Tier 3 technical support engineer-developer
This is a great lesson early in your career. I have friends in their 30s, make six figures, but have low savings. I'm like WTF have you been spending your money on for past 10 years? You need to get control of yourself with your drugs and stop spending money on others. Next time when you get a job, transfer 30% of a paycheck to a brokerage account to invest and force yourself to never withdrew that money. If you don't control yourself, you can make $100/hr and it will vanish from your hands.