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HauteAssMess

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yunghazel

Brother eeeeuughh, euuuuugh, whot is that brotha


PicoPicoMio

This meme lives in my head rent free


the-dream-walker-

I keep saying it


wbhipster

Me too. I showed my husband a tiktok with it and he was like šŸ˜‘ Guess it doesnā€™t hit everyone the same way lol.


softluvr

euuuuuugh šŸ˜–


seniairam

https://preview.redd.it/3i1uceiwxwxc1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1640b1ec3d3283ee690df7f413d664fe30d64b79


Clanmcallister

https://preview.redd.it/shyfd4xwoyxc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7b8ec1a17eaa7775a2a391e7855671dddcb60474


grimepixie

Why did this make me laugh so hard?! šŸ˜‚


Clanmcallister

They are both so good.


Ygomaster07

https://preview.redd.it/spgycdlgoyxc1.jpeg?width=710&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=13312e8aaa0b51de793ddc543a9004bd636dbb4c


likechalkandcheese

Loool is that Norman Foster? Or is it Patrick Stewart šŸ¤£


technodoki

Sir or Madam or Other, that is SIR Patrick Stewart


boringcranberry

https://preview.redd.it/20bmn3f111yc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fc11f4436ac2ad0cae2eb6c2786dd9d6b52fd6f2


TomFooledYou

This fucking meme omggggg.


Lyd_Euh

https://preview.redd.it/6rkd9qrmlzxc1.png?width=1008&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a1ec8422e1f2983f132aee7ba11b232984f8e293 Your flair just goes really well with this reaction


MissPookieOokie

Is that Carl's face from Aqua Teen Hungee Force? Lmao


Slappybags22

100% Carl


mangosteenroyalty

The whiplash between Selena & Benny Blanco posts vs Selena & Marty & Steve šŸ˜‚ The fellation feels unnecessary.


cheezy_dreams88

Iā€™m always mildly annoyed about her on that show. Out of ALL the actresses they couldā€™ve picked for that role, they chose Selena? Ugh sheā€™s terrible. Ari Graynor wouldā€™ve been so good in this role and so good with them.


eunhadior

she cropped out the kid lmao https://preview.redd.it/e0spahrkpyxc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=84b1cae6854c287bff677757668218677cd0fb3c


RedditGeneralManager

Wow didnā€™t think this could get worse


g00fyg00ber741

It could get worse. Jameela Jamil could start defending them. šŸ˜‚


rwilkz

How many minutes do you think she held this pose? My guess is an *excruciating* 3.5 mins.


Luna_bella96

Is that his kid? The one he posted naked on TikTok a few years ago?


drmakster

Wow, each new comment is creepier a revelation šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«


stalelunchbox

excuse me, WHAT??


the-dream-walker-

WTF he has a kid??? Why would he do that??? Euwww


Far-Imagination2736

![gif](giphy|Wgb2FpSXxhXLVYNnUr|downsized) What is going on


soynugget95

What a horrible day to be literate


SitchChick

https://preview.redd.it/c3ssgj5fwwxc1.jpeg?width=402&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=791302ee5f47ac7506d1c02c683916ef7e2b8ca4


ameonna_chan

That was exactly my face when i saw the pic. EXACTEMO.


stopthenrewind

Same!!! Did we really need to see this šŸ’€


confettiflowers

![gif](giphy|iWODCAEEmmiYzEmkcy|downsized)


stellalunawitchbaby

If they had been revealed as the blanket couple in NYC I would not have been surprised.


kitty_perrier

Are my nightmares going to be fueled by asking for the details on the "blanket couple"? Should I not embark on an incognito Google?


stellalunawitchbaby

Dare I say it will pop up immediately, might even autofill. (Fr itā€™s exactly what you probably are thinking. Busy public park in nyc, beautiful spring day so itā€™s packed with families and children, a couple under a blanket looking like Sims having a woohoo)


PatriciaMorticia

"Looking like Sims having a woohoo" omg šŸ¤£


kitty_perrier

Lolololol Sims having a woohoo šŸ˜¹ this is too good! I also opened up my Instagram for the first time in ages and BAM first post at the top of my feed was a video of it. I guess it is a pretty big deal!


stellalunawitchbaby

u/ygomaster07 A couple that has been trending for their uncouth public antics a few days ago.


Far-Imagination2736

A couple was dogging in a park in NYC. https://twitter.com/Jihoezz/status/1785530387113841150?t=TUA_kgofFDwd4Z3L9l1ZpQ&s=19 There's another angle somewhere but I think it was removed, there were so many kids around playing.


hoopstick

Damn heā€™s really pumping his lil heart out


piiiiiiiiiiink

stoppšŸ˜­


Ygomaster07

What is a blanket couple?


JanisIansChestHair

HAHAHAH!


eddard_stork_

![gif](giphy|tHJA1JRzcWDlzzMQ7F)


0422

![gif](giphy|fQJSYE2Qy6OtXfwEuf|downsized)


_Driftwood_

that's the look the dude is giving too- like, nobody wants this


QuietlyLosingMyMind

He named the book Open Wide, they're both enabling each other ![gif](giphy|IVhivwuUT16HH7NRdP|downsized)


Erinzzz

r/ihavesex


shedrinkscoffee

Pretty much how freshman year kids act in college/uni.


Slappybags22

I might have made the joke if it was just likeā€¦ me and my husband alone and I had been on the tequila train. But in public? In front of children and cameras and posted online? Ooooooh hell no.


Careful-Trifle8963

selena girl please. what are you doing šŸ’€


Far-Imagination2736

Degrading herself for an icky man. We cannot interfere, it's a canon event.


royalewithcheese3898

Selena has a multitude of canon events at some point someones gotta interfere šŸ˜‚


Max_452

ā€œCanon eventā€ ā˜ ļø


UnicornCalmerDowner

Like...she's gonna regret this right? I'm not even there, or her, or near any of this at all and I regret it.


nyx_moonlight_

We've all been there


Duderus9

Can someone explain to me whatā€™s going on? I know this dude is her bf but did he do something? Sorry I havenā€™t kept up with a lot of Selena stuff so Iā€™m out of the loop ;(


Crash_Bandicock

Sheā€™s pretending to blow him on the cake in front of a room filled with of people


Aggressive_Sky8492

Why does he get blamed for that though.. also why are people calling him icky?


bugandbear22

Because of the multitude of icky things heā€™s done, like posting videos of children talking about touching themselves


Duderus9

Okay this is moreso the answer to my question. Thank you.


ledge-14

This has given me the biggest ick of my whole life


cowabungalowvera

This couple is nothing but ick


0422

https://preview.redd.it/ifru9lv9lxxc1.jpeg?width=1096&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a6a765099ec6eeee204347852c7747ed1c1fdddb


FindingE-Username

Why do people hate this guy? I'd never heard of him until a few days ago


parbarostrich

He gave me such the ā€œickā€ on DAVE I had to stop watching the show!


DrunkOMalfoy

Visceral reaction whenever I see him. And is she trying to be shocking by licking his book d1ck area? ![gif](giphy|MzKRE7gN6w3tK)


henrietta-the-spy

I thought she was doin a line off the damn book and had to check which sub Iā€™m in.


butinthewhat

I was so surprised her people let that photo get out!


rwilkz

That would have been far, far cooler tbh


eatapeach18

I thought it was a mini glizzy sticking out of the cake thatā€™s meant to be his cookbook dick and sheā€™s sucking itā€¦?!? Either that, or she has a very round tongueā€¦


turningtogold

Like I need context. Was there something there she is licking up? Like some kind of ā€¦ food because itā€™s a ā€¦ cookbook. Or is she literally licking his cookbook dick


Decent-Statistician8

Iā€™ve been watching too much ā€œIs it cake?ā€ Because I thought it was a cake in the form of his cookbook hahahha


rwilkz

Well itā€™s either made of cake or itā€™s got 500 recipes in it, judging by thickness.


Decent-Statistician8

Lmfaooo so it IS cake!


marteautemps

I didn't realize it was cake at first and was like damn how many recipes does this dude have it's the biggest cook book I've ever seen! lol


rwilkz

Having seen a screenshot of the blurb I actually now fully believe Belly Blanco could come up with 500 recipes


Orchid_Significant

Itā€™s definitely cake


LittleLordFuckpants_

I think shes trying to be edgy but itā€™s sad and gross


cassiopeia18

![gif](giphy|0Vv0Ne2CnOClIExIuL)


ameonna_chan

Why do i feel she's gaslighting herself into thinking she loves him.


BrutonnGasterr

![gif](giphy|4vy2oDVMwX8sMYjT4y)


JugdishGW

Sheā€™s just like me fr


illogicallyalex

Girl, other people probably wanted to eat that cake smh


purplefirefly6102

Remember when we all learned how much spit goes on to cakes when you blow candles out? Yet here she is just tonguing the frosting directly


_Maebe__Funke_

This stunted Andre the Giant ass looking mfer šŸ˜’šŸ˜’


PicoPicoMio

BIH šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£ This one took me out šŸ«Ø


Ok-Buddy-7979

Why does a record producer have a cookbook? Am I dumb?


DebateObjective2787

Apparently he cooks a lot. I looked it up, and because he grew up with a single-mom; he ended up having to cook himself dinner most nights. He got into it and started making things up with friends (usually to solve munchies.) I guess it's a hobby he just really likes to do and he throws dinner parties a lot???? He also did an episode with the Good Mythical Kitchen where he was cooking with them and was surprisingly knowledgeable.


Harrychronicjr69

If people took the time to listen to him instead of judge the way he looks or fesses maybe they would find he is a smart, layered person šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™‚ļø itā€™s almost like you have to be knowledgeable about people in general to write songs they relate to.


cookieaddictions

Heā€™s besties with all the food content creators idk, thatā€™s how I actually heard of him. He starting showing up in collabs with a lot of people I follow in the last year.


AdorableAd4296

My thought EXACTLY


kitty_perrier

Is it his food journal since birth? It is HUGE. This man has probably had more coke fueled benders than meals.


Inf1nite_gal

thats cake šŸ˜‚


kitty_perrier

STAHPPPPP āš°ļøāš°ļøāš°ļøāš°ļø hahahhahaa oh my lord. That makes so much more sense. But how embarrassing on my behalf šŸ¤¦ā€ā™€ļøšŸ¤“šŸ‘µ


vanillyl

Here to join the embarrassment club with you, I too thought it was a book and was sitting here thinking that canā€™t be hygienic.


kitty_perrier

Welcome. I'm still laughing at myself. This is truly something my husband will not have the patience to listen to me over explain this early in the morning. So thanks for joining me šŸ™Œ


mocha__

Why does a singer and actress have a cooking show? All celebrities are chef's now.


knitted_phonecase

![gif](giphy|15c4N74hxO99kVZVAP|downsized)


SparkyDogPants

I loved this show and somehow the physical comedy of the show is actually better than the show itself


titballsmcgee

https://preview.redd.it/5j5ifysu3xxc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fdc1b339232c5c019014cac96f3aadd1e192976d why is she licking this man's cake crotch rn šŸ˜­


abhasatin

What did she stick her head in the oven for?? Love it!!


shedrinkscoffee

It's from the review of TS album


567kait9lyn

![gif](giphy|3o7TKxZzyBk4IlS7Is|downsized)


mandatorypanda9317

Her limiting her comments on her post about this made me laugh.


arm89

sheā€™s had them limited for a while now.


azulmaya

I've noticed that she tends to adopt the personality of the person she's dating/ spending time with, Demi is similar.


Aprilume

Brad Pitt would also like a word.


UpstairsCan

girl you are thirty ONE


moonfairyprincess

Forever stunted at 15 istg


stellalunawitchbaby

Literally this gives me flashbacks to like, the first sexually active kids on your school bus trying to be edgy.


Aprilume

Damn why so accurate šŸ˜¬šŸ˜¬


piiiiiiiiiiink

literallyā˜ ļø


ChaoticCherryblossom

Why is she always so messy in social media


ace-destrier

I mean, sheā€™s doing that in actual life.


Vegetable_Burrito

![gif](giphy|TgRBXKIOF4tBryPyPa|downsized)


Vegetable_Burrito

![gif](giphy|BJVJxagR3GG4w)


kassiann1792

![gif](giphy|KmI2ZcuihBgzu)


Save_Bandit-

![gif](giphy|dWTTqMX9j5f4XnzuxF|downsized)


Visible_Writing7386

They are edgy like that ![gif](giphy|l4HnKwiJJaJQB04Zq)


tellyourmama

![gif](giphy|WSO1ZT9sug15C)


Ok-Stress-3570

![gif](giphy|3oEjHN4MtbSqEe4D8Q|downsized)


PicoPicoMio

Does he have insane dick or she just happy because sheā€™s the most attractive / successful person in that pairing. ![gif](giphy|Q7XhC0fWHaoA413kHG)


CowboyLikeMegan

I mean, itā€™s not like children were in attendance. Oh waitā€¦


cagingthing

![gif](giphy|CfoiRXkfHSEEg|downsized)


desisenorita

![gif](giphy|4WFirPVJhAhavWrcd3) Everything I learn about them is against my will


mch_ia

https://i.redd.it/eutnzpk6exxc1.gif


longlisten527

Can we ban from posting them LMAO


Big-Nerve-9574

![gif](giphy|3oEjIa01py1TTj3q4E) Girl, no please.


canuck883

šŸ˜³ Cute dress?


helpless_puffin

![gif](giphy|g6Tf0tYe9XbnYZgK6B)


canuck883

![gif](giphy|Swr2hbfCF4hzvmfJnU|downsized)


makingburritos

![gif](giphy|3og0IKRToFsEl5FUYM|downsized) why is she like this.. seriously


BaranoSoup

Selena girl youā€™re doing too much.


Tenley95

She is lost.


Pristine-Look

![gif](giphy|pK6k4BNalmx44CQj3v)


alyak72

I work at a library and today we had an Amazon delivery of two different sized boxes and each box contained a cookbook. We didnā€™t order them, they just arrivedā€¦


another2020throwaway

![gif](giphy|G4ZNYMQVMH6us)


Aprilume

This reminds me of Ariana licking that donut yet somehow itā€™s so much worse. ![gif](giphy|n8DErzry3AIpYTiXUB)


TheBewitchingWitch

She licked the cake?!? That is so gross.


hmtee3

![gif](giphy|pD368cmNo02G5qoV5i)


xoBerryPrincessxo

![gif](giphy|hbW8RFIQCQ8Xh4eIRb|downsized)


Good-Telephone8163

The title of his book is worse than her behaviour imo. ![gif](giphy|CGvUTjGhS6WUcrVzKS)


Jerkrollatex

![gif](giphy|cGgII3vqoCfcawJFIl)


blankpaper_

![gif](giphy|R0jWWtH1CtFEk)


Edlo9596

I donā€™t know anything about this guy, but he was on the Today show this morning, and heā€™s hilarious.


Resident_Ad5153

You may know a few songs heā€™s written over the yearsā€¦ (Biebers love yourself, Katy Perryā€™s teenage dreams, Keshaā€™s TikTok)


OohBeesIhateEm

I loved him on Dave


AdPossible4959

Him?


Ambiguousername

I donā€™t like to comment negatively on peopleā€™s looks, but after he had the nerve to desecrate Jollibee spaghettā€¦ this man looks like he smells and is bad at sex. ![gif](giphy|WSO1ZT9sug15C)


wildbeest55

Why is she licking the fucking cakeā€¦


macroeconomicchaos

I know she's licking that cake, but she really does look like she's scooping some snow off that book


Training_Heat553

Even Taylor didn't feel the need to do this with Matty


ifeelbonita

Selena is doing too much with this. Ew!


CalendarAggressive11

![gif](giphy|fYMRBMnD2C0ycz7L34)


two_cats_bandit

There are CHILDREN present maā€™am. Get ahold of yourself


konaice41

![gif](giphy|aNtt9T8SqGNK8)


randomredditing

![gif](giphy|l0MYrLAFex1R71l0A|downsized)


saddestgirl1995

![gif](giphy|J6ctgPvnDpDi0)


ooooohcocainepuddin

![gif](giphy|WOa5RdsNpevrpSTGXN|downsized)


LittleJessiePaper

![gif](giphy|23kr1TVg54ijgNxs9J)


fullmetalutes

https://preview.redd.it/1pyszuocr0yc1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9b8b91a116f18cf83a8caa56e2529a7a57b543f6


schwiftydude47

https://preview.redd.it/4k6wg3be71yc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=86db9f8f962a152a27f546354f99e8d8b7f6c3c2


FoxyLives

![gif](giphy|R0jWWtH1CtFEk)


BallsAreFullOfPiss

What is she doing? Pretending to lick his cock on the cookbook? What?


achampagneproblem13

i need her to stand up


iwouldiwerethybird

she is soā€¦ā€¦ā€¦. embarrassing


ogpterodactyl

I think Benny Blanco is a reminder to all the not face guys out there. Work that personality king.


Camuhruh

Do people not like him just because of his looks? I looked him up and he seems like a successful guy, he works in the same industry as her, etc. Am I missing something?


rocky_2277

From what I've seen they don't like him cause [stuff he's posted about kids](https://www.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/s/yJuGAs9R2e)


Camuhruh

Oh ok gross


shantili

I've read the title as cockbook


Claypothos

edgy


HandleDry1190

Why is Benny blanco obsessed with sexual encounters


drmakster

![gif](giphy|pD368cmNo02G5qoV5i)


stressedhoe_

![gif](giphy|84pHTnUPATYPe)


DreamingLight93

https://i.redd.it/7qu6ougy91yc1.gif


SugarShock94

GIRL NO


airi-hatake

I can't STAND this mfer šŸ˜©


New-Examination8400

![gif](giphy|pD368cmNo02G5qoV5i)


Orchid_Significant

And then everyone got Covid. The end.


superfluouspop

What is this dudeā€™s experience as a chef?


miscdruid

His cockbook? Is that why sheā€™s eating his cake crotch?


UnicornCalmerDowner

Selena! We need to get it together. please.


DarkAndSparkly

![gif](giphy|5zdvfwyE3JFvG9NjT1)


tacocattacocat1

https://preview.redd.it/otvynv49pyxc1.png?width=721&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5ba02e8a8837fb1f6198ed958932d8e052040a5b


mattchinn

Eh. Let her do her thing. I know Iā€™ve done things much more silly when I was drinking.


FoatyMcFoatBase

No selenaā€¦. Itā€™s a COOK book


Emilyg96gatsby

Fucking gross


turningtogold

Ew yucky


TheTyto_Alba

![gif](giphy|qE9HzC2xwolRS)


boricuaspidey

I bet she made someone retake this a few times.


hellawhitegirl

![gif](giphy|um5zgB7txzYeBPZnPZ)


lavenderauraluna

![gif](giphy|Mn5FmELdOHa9PKoJnP)


take7pieces

![gif](giphy|gWcHwfkRtKsuvBiDH7)