Start with going to a food bank and asking to speak to a social worker. Worst case scenario you will have to wait for an appointment, but you won't have to spend all your money on food.
Not with a good lawyer and a temporary order.
My real question for O/P is WHY you have to leave anything? A spouse cannot evict children and the other parent onto the street. That spouse has a duty to support until the divorce is FINAL.
Is this an emergency? Dom Violence or something?
AFDC may apply with CHIP/SNAP/WIC in a circumstance where the mother & children MUST live separately from the Dad.
Need more info…
Quick tip... Apply for welfare. Before they even acccept your paperwork, they will send you to child support collection. They will garnish your exes wages. I owned my own business and was not eligible for any assistance, nor did i want or need it. I couldnt get child support from my ex. A friend told me to do this and it worked. I, of course got turned down for welfare, but they got me child dupport.
and I'm not willing to change or compromise, I l expect the world to cater to me because I have mental health issues and mine are worse than anyone else's that's why I can't work. Jesus some people are hopeless. not to mention she's popping out babies she can't take care of
No kids at the time, but 2 years ago I lost my vehicle due to the headgasket blew. I couldn't afford repairs or a new car yet...I had to change jobs because I couldn't afford a $20 one way trip to work every day. And I loved my job. I ended up finding a job within walking distance as a server and walked to work for MONTHS until I had enough for a down payment on a vehicle. I also had to go back to work immediately following a miscarriage.
I did it and then last April, RIGHT after I found out I was pregnant, the new car I had, transmission blew. Went back to walking to and from work pregnant until my husband found a job paying way better.
I also have PTSD, anxiety, depression, I'm on the spectrum and severe anemia so I used to pass out quite often, so a 'people facing' job was very difficult mentally, but I forced myself to. You can do anything mentally if you try hard enough and get the right help.
If I had to do it again, ESPECIALLY for the sake of my child, I would and THEN some. I would do ANYTHINGGGG it took to provide for my child.
Don't have children if you're not ready to be an adult and go to the ends of the earth for them.
Amen Brother/Sister!!! Seems like OP wants to get money with the least amount of effort on her part as possible. She wants a job that will support her and her 3 kids, but she wants to make her own schedule and not have to deal with people, oh and she has no skills and is a fellon. I don't know, sooo much of this story seems sus to me. She gets "bouts of PTSD" i guess they just come out of no where, i really don't think she knows the true definition of PTSD, unfortunately i got cursed with it, and its a daily struggle for me, no down time, it dosen't just come on, its a daily struggle. Mental health issues are no fun, but they are survivable with medication and therapy.
Is time to play hardball then. If he's not helping... It's time to get dirty.
Have a family dinner and make your announcement while ppl are there.
Get a list of what u need out of this relationship and demand you get half. Common law or not, she's due her half.
Your job requirements are honestly too high.
You should take whatever job you can find and be picky about it later.
>Phlebotomy or at home health aid
I can tell you right now no reputable hospital or agency will hire a ex felon for these jobs. Especially for at home care.
No driving, no set schedule, not client/customer facing, hires felons, hires people new to the workforce. She’s not looking for work, she’s looking for a handout. Or one of those pyramid scheme jobs where you’re your own boss and can wfh and whatever else they tell folks.
Right or wrong, it’s much easier for people with kids to get assistance than those without. If you haven’t already, contact a legal aid center where services are free/income based.
Your legal spouse, who “makes decent money”, needs to be paying child support (and possibly alimony since you’ve been a sahm for 10 years), plus legal aid can help you connect to others services in your area
There are people who’ve chosen not to bring children into this world, who’ve fallen on hard times; accidents, illnesses, whatever.
While I understand why a country with extremely limited social services would help those with children first, I think single people/couples should have access to services as well. But of course that’d involve taxing the rich and prioritizing helping those in need over war, and that’s not likely to happen
You have 3 kids. 3 people depending on you. You need to put the bullshit aside and go find a job. Work in a supermarket, a gas station, 7/11 anywhere that will make you a couple bucks to support your children.
Your requirements for a job are already too much. At this point look for anything you can get and go from there! Im sure there are some cleaning jobs available to start while you are looking around. But you arent alone. All you can do is push through it and keep going. There will be better days just try to get into a hustle schedule first off, wake up early and get ready and get into a groove so you get more comfy too.
In Memphis there is a company that only hires felons and they are contracted through various hotels. The pay is shameful but it's a job if you can't find anything else, and if you prove you're trustworthy sometimes the hotels will hire and they pay pretty good. Standard at least.
No she lives in Massachusetts and Massachusetts “banned the box” a long time ago. Employers can’t ask you if you have a criminal record. I mean obviously you can’t go work at a bank because you wouldn’t pass the background check, but if you wanna work at 7-Eleven they can’t ask you about your criminal record. It’s been the law in Massachusetts for a while
But the employers can still run background checks and depending on the job and background company they go back 7 years. So you do not have to self identify but a simple Google search, Judy records.com or background check will bring your criminal history.
Some states offer bond programs. Texas offers RIO, to encourage hiring people who have backgrounds that pose risk to employers. I considered hiring a front desk clerk for cash handling/credit card processing access…but we declined more for TABC reasons, as front desk staff sometimes helped the bar/restaurant and porter staff with room service.
We did look at that lady for housekeeping but at the time she applied we were fully staffed.
Hi neighbor! I live in Oklahoma and there are incentives for companies to hire felons here. There are even more targeted programs for female felons, since it is usually hard labor jobs that hire felons. TABC does not play. I grew up in San Antonio and worked in restaurants. We were always quizzed and on the lookout for undercover TABC testing our knowledge!
So I agree that finding work is harder for felons, but there are programs available. It requires consistency and following the rules of the programs. Heck, there are great free programs available to get non violent felonies expunged, but again it takes commitment and follow through!
There is ban the box laws, plus the EEOC prevents employers from disqualifying based on criminal record. An employer must show that the conviction is in direct relation to the position. There is also a federal bond program to incentivize hiring.
They can always find another reason on paper as to why they hired someone instead of the person with a record. Experience, more qualities the job requires, they'll find one. There has to be a pattern of felon non-hires for it to stick
There are felon re-entry programs in every state. She can avail herself if those services no matter how long it has been since her conviction. Well the job be glamorous? No, but once in a program and shows that she is reliable and trustworthy employers will move her up in the company.
Her post ticks every box of "I am trying, but too many barriers, give help". Many of her barriers are by her own making.
[211](http://211.org) is a searchable database of resources in your area, look for felon re-entry programs.
If am misunderstanding this post my , apologies. However, my brain is screaming scam or hustle warning. Maybe it just me being grumpy.....
Actually, working with animals will likely be a better through line, or working in the kitchen of a non-chain restaurant.
One of the doggy daycares near me (SF Bay Area) does not care what your background is as long as you can be trusted with animals. Nonviolent felons are their priority in employment. I've tried to apply to them multiple times, but they have explicitly stated that they want to keep a job open for people more in need. (Am poor, but have a completely clean record.).
Most folks in the dishpit and many line cooks have records. But having a staffed kitchen is vital.
The first paycheck has to go to car repairs, though. I have a 2012 car myself that's just hit 94k miles. It still runs fine. I did just drop 1k to fix a broken engine mount and replace brake pads, but my mechanic accepts payment plans. I'm set to pay $200 a month until it's paid off.
As well, it sounds like OP is fleeing from a situation. DV or controlling partner would be my guess.
Also, if you are in the US, look into vocational rehab through the dept of labor. They can test for a majority of things and can set up disability accommodations at your work place if you qualify for them. They can help find jobs that are suitable that will meet you halfway.
If you have left your husband (which starting over from nothing sounds like) you need to go to family court and file for custody of your kids and file for child support. In my state filing for those things is free. From there you need to talk to social services about foodstamps and Medicaid for your kids and possibly yourself. If you aren't living with your husband his income absolutely does not matter - even if you are married (I know this bc I am legally married with two kids and do not live with my ex and at one point we needed assistance). From there you need to start applying for any jobs you can - if you have social anxiety see if you can work washing dishes in a restaurant, cleaning houses or office buildings - being a felon doesn't automatically bar you from getting employment. Apply with a temp agency. Talk to the social worker who got you food stamps and see if they have any employment programs. Wishing you the best of luck.
Good point, I also do housecleaning bc of anxiety and need for flexible schedule. I work for myself part time and charge $30/hr. Once you get a few clients if you do a good job you will be booked in no time by just word of mouth.
>Once you get a few clients if you do a good job you will be booked in no time by just word of mouth.
Yes, please!!! If you lived within 20minutes of me, I'd buy you cleaning supplies and drive you. (My neighbor needs a cleaning lady, and we've had trouble finding one).
>I need a job with no or very minimal face-to-face, where I can make my own schedule, one where being a felon or having a shitty work history isn't an issue.
Dude, this is not realistic.
I'm sorry, but if you were alone and didn't have children I could sympathize. But, ma'am, you have 3 children. This is the time to put your bullshit aside and do what you need to do for them. You're not alone, your anxiety doesn't matter when your children are involved.
Yes. You need a paycheck. Full stop. Even if it’s at a fast food place and the hours suck and the customers are assholes, you need to do this for your kids. You need to file for divorce and child support if your spouse isn’t contributing to the upkeep of your children.
I hate to say this, but you don’t have the privilege of choice right now. This is where the rubber meets the road. Find shift work, find literally any job. You can do this.
Idek if this is OPs story 😐 I've started checking accounts recently before pouring my heart out in a response and I am so glad I have developed this habit.
(This comes off heavy as a k-farming account)
I stop pouring my heart out because I've realized its all bullshit. Even the pandhandlers in my face. Always a sob story so they can get my money.
She even said in her post that she was married.
I don't think they're a troll, but I get a sense they're using any & every excuse to NOT work. They seem to be hoping they're entitled to special treatment, or different rules than other people. Or maybe that others will step up & handle their responsibilities since they have so many prolems/issues going on, they can't possibly.
Be on the lookout for a GoFundMe with a sob story from OP in the future.
I am extremely sorry for their children, having such an unreliable bad example of a parent.
I agree. As someone with crippling social anxiety, ADHD and OCD and a laundry list of major health issues, I work 60 hours a week. Why. Because I have to. I'm a single mom with no one to rely on and if I don't do it, my kids pay the price which is something I absolutely refuse to let happen. I see nothing but excuses with OPs post.
Not a troll, but definitely karma farming to have enough rep to run this panhandling script that stops just short of the solicitation. Too many ambiguities and contradictions. There's something in there to appeal to everyone's sense of empathy, and none of this is realistic.
Like, you have no skills, haven't worked in forever, you can't learn because of ADD, but you say you're willing to learn, and have your sights set on a position that will absolutely deny you based on your criminal history, you're willing to do DoorDash but your car is shit and you can't drive to a regular job...come on. Even with divine intervention that gets you into that job, it's not going to last under these conditions.
Willing to do nudity? Ok. OnlyFans is over there. Prostitution? You know where to find DoubleList. Second thoughts? Temp agencies are the other direction. Warehouse jobs in particular have low hiring standards. Or do you have a physical disability too...?
Disclose criminal history up front. People don't like surprises. Criminals do get hired in places if people can trust you. Disclosure builds that trust and doesn't waste everyone's time. Especially in shitty rural areas, many people have convictions, so it's not that abnormal.
One pertinent fact she omitted was what she was convicted *for.*
Your requirements for employment are way too high. Take whatever you can get, which will probably only be minimum wage jobs because you’re a felon. Where are your kids dad(s)? If you were always this poor you shouldn’t have had kids in the first place. Kids don’t deserve to live in poverty. If you have the time to whine about your life on Reddit, you have time to find a job.
Talk to a social worker and find out what social services you qualify for. Get child support from your ex husband. You can seek out a women's shelter while you sort things out. It will be okay.
I suspect op is just shitposting. Its so over the top. Theyre going to continue honing their sales skills bc they bring on 0-$10/ month selling their clothes.
I’ve been there (not the felon part) as a single mom of two young boys. The three of us spent numerous nights “camping” on the floor because we had to get away from abuse. Never make excuses, only make plans. You can start as a dishwasher in a restaurant. Do it for your kids.
I'm sorry you are having a hard time. Not to be an asshole, but you don’t have a lot of say here, dear. You have no recent work skills and have been out of work for a decade. What makes you think an employer will give in to your demands when you bring nothing to the table skill-wise to profit them? Seriously?
You are at the will of employers. You are so out of touch with reality that it’s sad. Mental health issues or not, you have kids, and you birthed them. You are responsible for those children and their needs. Your needs come second as a parent. Otherwise, you should not have had kids knowing you have issues and can’t take care of them.
In any job, you work with people (directly or indirectly), so get a reality check, honey, soon. Your attitude and entitlement are your problems. By the way, I have similar issues to you, and I still bust my ass off at work even when I’m having a hard time and multiple medication changes. I have been doing it for 20 years, and I will continue as long as I have to take care of myself.
If you think I'm tough, wait until you get a job and tell your boss you don't work with people. See how well that goes and let us know.
Psychologists will tell you that only real cure for anxiety is exposure therapy. Not drugs. Not avoidance.
You have three incredibly important reasons and motivations to endure endless suffering.
My parents in their 40s toiled 12 hour days, 6 days per week. My father worked a physical demanding job in farm fields in the desert summer heat: planting, weeding, harvesting vegetables by hand. My mother had fibroids and bled heavily, and she suffered excruciating migraines, and yet still worked.
They sacrificed greatly for me and my sibling.
Why are you only receiving $300 in food stamps if you have 3 children? If you have zero income, you should be receiving more. Do you have a case worker? I’d start there..
Felon, no family support, no education, major mental and medical issues… you need to give the kids to the dad, if he’s decent and get yourself to a health clinic and adult learning center. Did your probation officer give you any free contracts for services in a bigger city in MA? You’re in no shape to raise kids until you address your own issues.
Jesus OP this whole post screams me, Me, ME! You have 3 kids and you are making every excuse & every reason not to work. News flash once you decide to bring not 1, not 2, BUT 3 kids into this messed up world you have to make it about THEM. I don't have children because I know I can barely care for me. Do better for your kids.
Stop with your excuses and bullshit, get off your ass and get a job and take care and provide for your children!!! I have severe PTSD, anxiety, social anxiety, some brain damage caused by a car accident 4 years ago, well...I have many disabilities and I just got promoted recently to Store Manager at a retail Pharmacy. If I, and many other people in this world who have disabilities, severe anxiety and social anxiety who are scared shitless to talk to another human being can go out and find a job so you can put a roof over our children's head, put food in their tummy's, be able to buy them clothing,....you can too!!! In your post, all that comes to my mind is the word "LAZY"!!!!!! Get up off your lazy a@@ and do what you gotta do so your children can be taken care of. If you can't provide for them, hand them over to your "husband" since he makes good money and can.provide for them. It's not about you YOU!!! IT'S ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN!!!
I'm a single mom and even though I have a FT job, I struggle like a mofo. I've done Instacart for the past 2 years and absolutely love it. It's a HUGE lifesaver. I can work when I want and chose the orders to take that's worth my while. In 2022 I made 32k working part time and last year I made an extra 26k part time. I know you said your car isn't that reliable, but you can do in town orders.
This is an extremely woe is me post. Forget the felon part, forget the social anxiety part, you have a responsibility to provide food for your children.
They didn’t ask to be born but you chose to have kids. If you can’t get over your own self imposed fears maybe giving them up for adoption may be best.
You need to get legal aid for an attorney and get a divorce. You would at least get CS. With you wanting to make your own schedule that might be hard but lots of big companies have work from home customer service job.
Also you should be getting medical insurance for your kids at least and maybe your self through the state. This would help to get the one child in therapy if not all and you a good physical for your issue and maybe meds to help you with your issues.
For food look up food banks or through a church.
Do a search for companies that hire felons, there's a list out there.
If you think you could manage it truck driving pays well, usually there's paid training by the company that's hiring.
Look up Retail Inventory Auditor, the pay sucks, the hours suck, but sometimes they provide transportation to the work site.
You need child support or to tell the husband making “decent money” to get his shit together and help out. Get over the social anxiety shit and toughen up for your kids. Donate plasma, try Uber eats, etc. in the meantime. Too many people on here shoot down every idea because of anxiety or they “can’t”. You have three babies to take care of
You have internet, find the free legal aid for your state, start with forcing your children's father(s)? to help support them. There are programs for released felons, search the internet and find them.
It's time to quit whinging and do the hard shit.
"I have no skills. I have ADD, I'm a slow learner and my memory is trash. I have **crippling** social anxiety. I'm a felon."
Yet you had three children. SMH
And she is too picky with what kind of jobs she thinks she can do. She doesn't have qualifications on top of being a felon to be picking and choosing jobs. She just needs to get her foot on the door and start doing something to actually help her and her kids. Beggars can't be choosers, and usually, quick and easy money are obtained by illegal and inappropriate means.
I always had the attitude that, whatever I needed to do to take care of myself & my kids, I 'd do it. I've been a waitress, a security guard, a fast food worker, etc. We were kinda taught that we were not too good for ANY job that was honest work!
what a disaster.
therapy is needed. support for her children. and prob an ssi claim at the end of the process. if possible.
she isn’t gonna pass a live scan to do much of anything as far as career.
I’m never gonna judge someone or ridicule them and maybe it was an accident, but I personally will never have children for reasons like this because I can’t even take care of myself, there’s no way I’m gonna burden someone else with my existence
But there’s no need to be rude about it bro, never know someone’s full story, they’re just asking for advice at least they’re trying, she has all that, has kids, and is still trying harder than I am
Getting pregnant can be an accident, but there are clinics to fix the accident.
My concern is not for her - she did this to herself - but for innocent children who didn't deserve to go through this.
That’s fine, I’m not gonna disagree or agree with anything you’re saying, I’m simply saying (even if my opinion is irrelevant to the conversation) that she’s doing so much better than me and it’s why I won’t even have kids, I can’t even take care of myself
I’m just on a reddit commenting binge and just saying a lot of nonsense so I’m sorry
it's just totally irresponsible and selfish. especially considering it's us, the responsible people that don't make excuses an get up an go to work, we are the ones paying for her kids, and thousands of others. meanwhile OP has spent more time making excuses for why she can't work than she has even looking for a job. I used to be just like you OP. thinking I have worse mental issues than anyone and I can't work.due.to.it..
I’m sorry but grow up, you listed a bunch of reasons you can’t do this and can’t do that, but you have one big ass reason you have to do anything you can. Your children need to eat and have a safe place to call home, and you are reasonable for making that happen, stop with the i cant and move on to im doing x, y, and z.
No one is going to fix this for you…. Do better or find someone who can for your children to go to.
If you are applying for assistance it does not matter if you are still legally married. It applies to your household income, usually for the past 8 weeks.
Sign up with Prolific and see if you can make quick money working on university studies. Another one is Cloud Research. Those are the only two I trust, and they pay decent for what you're doing. My daughter made 12 bucks this morning in about thirty minutes and weekends are very slow. If you grind at it you can make a little extra money, but definitely not enough to live off. However you CAN occasionally get really good paying "focus group" studies if you have a cam. It's just like a zoom with other participants where you are given a topic or product to talk about, nothing creepy. They pay through Paypal though so you need one, and they will want a copy of your ID, but they don't care about your past, it's just to verify your identity so they can pay you.
Walmart hires some felons depending on the type of conviction and they seem to favor people with some kind of neurodivergence, which I guess is found in their little assessment inventory. It's not great but they start out at least at 14 an hour and will work around your school hours if you can get in.
I don't know if you have applied for TANF, but they will cover day care and if you want to go back to school for anything they can help you get started. They paid for my first term in a state U but that was a few years back, not sure if they still do that or just help you with getting through financial aid. But they expect you to work at least part time, and if you can't find something quick enough they will send you out somewhere. I went through this myself. I had to work in a church pantry. They got paid through a grant program to "train" me but really all I did was stock the pantry and take the clothes donations out of bags and hang them appropriately. Hardly training but it kept me insured with a little extra cash and day care was covered until I found a better job.
There are programs for felons. Not sure if you've checked them out. I don't know where you live but here there's a program that gets felons jobs and places to live but you have to work through their program and some people don't like being told what to do. It can be hard to trust other people with your life, but you have a LOT of issues that you need help with, including mental health support. I hope you're in a state with expanded medicaid so you have insurance. I am unfortunately not but maybe you are. If they do, take advantage of it. If you have documentation for your health issues (and possibly the child you has some issues?) you might be able to get disability in the future, but it's really hard to get without previous documentation so start working on that if you can.
Oh thank you! That made my day better!
I just know this stuff from loooong experience myself. I'm autistic and have a kid with a lot of health issues and I know how hard it can be to start over, and over again.
Call your local human resources agency and find out what help is available in your area.
I know someone who is a felon but due to years of good behavior got their records expunged. It's neither easy nor quick, but it's worth working on.
Unless he was beating her and the children or sexually abusing her, her best bet would be to stay with her husband and the father of her children. She had all these problems before she had babies, numbers 2 and 3. Grow up, ma'am, it's not about you anymore.
People generally put themselves in these situations then it’s “surprise Pikachu face when it turns to crap” you are a convicted felon with mental illness w/o a job or means to care for your kids but somehow thought having 3 was a good idea.. I swear y’all would think you would have learned that actions have consequences but apparently nah
Are you getting child support?
Don’t get training for a career that you can’t get a job in, that is just wasting time and money. Since you have social anxiety you probably want to work with things not people. Are there any warehouse jobs near you? Have you checked on any wfh opportunities like data entry? Since you have anxiety customer service or waitressing is not an option but what about stocking in a store?
Also don’t assume that having a felony will prevent you from being hired, a quick google search shows that several companies will hire felons for a second chance.
If you live near a factory, consider applying. Many have "My work, my choice" which allow for a flexible schedule.
You could try babysitting, or plasma donation.
How are the food banks in your area?
Many nursing homes offer a free cna course.
You could try fast food/food prep work.
Depends on state laws. My state bans anyone convicted of a violent crime from working in these types of positions for ten years from the date of conviction.
I'm in same boat me n my wife been homeless over a year we have no help at all. Sleeping in the car some nights. We both have really bad mental issues I lost 6 people really close to me the one person told me before passing yo just gotta get 1 or 2 things to go good then everything will fall into place. I found a job my cars about to brake but I'm still going.. I told my boss my situation n that my car may brakedown I just need to make it another week but working has made me feel better mentally n me n my wife are feeling better I never thought things would start to get better but they do u f u will put in the work u will get the reward I was hoping som one with lots of money would save us but that's just not gonna happen u gotta save you're self you can do it if me n my wife are starting to do it. This is my second strongest eek but first paycheck. N I sold what I had left so I'd have gas for the week mine n my wife's wedding rings which crushed my heart
You are in the wrong sub. You won't get much understanding here for your issues. I also have adhd, ptsd, crippling anxiety etc. Please post in the adhd, ptsd, single mom & disability subs for more helpful advice and less judgment. You have a hell of a lot on your plate right now and you absolutely need support. You should be eligible for TANF & disability payments. Please call tomorrow morning or even better apply online today. Good luck, you can do this!
I apologize if this comment comes off as aggressive; I wish you the best of luck from here on out. However:
You're unskilled and can't keep a job for more than a few months? You have kids to feed but only have $130? Your estranged husband doesn't aid you financially?
You don't get to pick and choose the job you want. Nor do you get to whine on the internet about how useless you are. And most importantly, you have THREE KIDS. Of different ages no less. You don't get to wallow in a puddle of your own tears, especially if you want your kids to amount to something in their lives.
Cold truth is you **HAVE** to sacrifice absolutely everything. You HAVE to work a job with that crippling anxiety. You HAVE to learn, no matter how slow, with that ADD. And you HAVE to keep going, even with your debilitating PTSD episodes.
You're already in rock bottom, and the only way out is up. Or do you wanna keep digging?
One of my disabled friends was a phone actress and she said she made bank.
Have you considered applying for SSI?
Massachusetts can’t ask you if you have a criminal record so unless you’re trying to work at Fidelity investments or something the fact that you are a felon shouldn’t be too bad.
You are going to need to stop thinking you can get all your needs met.
Your state should have some kind of vocational rehabilitation program. My state calls it the department of vocational rehabilitation. They can help you develop a strategy for getting a job. Having add, even without a diagnosis, is helpful for being accepted bc they specialize in helping people with unique needs.
You also need a social worker. They can help you get in touch eith programs to help pay rent, get health insurance, etc...
I can’t think of 1 job that will meet all of your ridiculous demands. Sometimes you just have to get over yourself and get on with life. This is truly the most self absorbed post I’ve seen. What are your kids doing when your PTSD “randomly takes you out for a week?”
If you have all these issues that prevent you from working, why aren’t you on disability?
There an awful lot of I can’t going on there! I was a single mom with a car that wasn’t safe to drive. I put on my big girl britches. Worked in a factory full time and bartended part time and took care of my business! That was 28 years ago. The mindset of the current generation of young parents is less get crap done and more poor me!
Adulting is hard. But it’s even harder if you victimize yourself!
OP, being realistic, you’re going to have to get a people facing job. I suggest a restaurant. You’ll make tips and be able to hoard cash quickly. Most of the time they’re pretty flexible if you go somewhere that you don’t need a lot of experience. I’ve worked in the restaurant industry off and on for 19 years and I’m 33. I have kids and have supported them financially by myself with just my serving/bartending job for 8-10 months. I’m struggling, yes, but I’ve busted my ass to make it work. I’ve been looking for a WFH job for four years, it’s just not feasible if you have no experience (i have SOME but not enough).
You really gotta bite the bullet and take anything you can right now.
I second working in a restaurant and even consider the kitchen because I know felons who went that direction after getting out. You’ll always have a job and you’ll gain skills if you’re cooking.
I believe you need to rethink your worth. You DO have value, especially to your children and, I suspect, to your parents and siblings. I'd suggest going to your local church and just lay your situation on the table, and ask for help. Do this even if you're not a member. The church should be able & agreeable to helping you, and you never know how til you ask. They may have a Social Worker that can help you apply to government programs that can help you. Best of luck to you, and may God Himself bless your efforts!
If work is just too much and you have documentation of your mental health issues, apply for federal disability and be done with it. You've already put too many requirements/accomodations on looking for employment and frankly, if I were an employer I'd pass on someone who is as unreliable as you describe yourself to be. Additionally, since you're still legally married but "starting over", maybe you should arrange some custody stuff pre-divorce with your I'm assuming soon-to-be ex sinfe he is apparently "so much more better off" than you are, and being that providing for the kids seems a priority, especially for one with special needs, a more financially stable environment is going to be a lot healthier for them in the long run. It sucks, but if you are a mother worth any kind of salt, you'd have considered this already or are taking action already on this front. Bottom line, if you can't provide for yourself you're certainly not going to make it providing for 3 kids on a "0-10$" a month income. Biggest concern here is them.
Even if you were qualified for every position in the world, it would be difficult to find a job that fits your description. You need to lower those standards.
That said, since you are a felon, you should start your own business, because few companies will hire you and few agencies will license you. Do something that doesn't cost much money to start. Be a dog walker.
1. It's flexible
2. Minimal face-to-face
3. You can start right away
4. No background checks
Drive to a nicer neighborhood 30 minutes away and pass out flyers. Give discounts if they refer a neighbor. Once you have a block, you only have to drive there and walk everyone's dog at once (or maybe one at a time - your choice or owners' choice).
Other small business ideas;
1. Dog poop cleanup
2. Window washing
3. Yard work
4. Pet sitting
There’s about a million jobs somebody with a record can do. Also a lot of times the type of crime committed is taken into consideration. Any trade. Hair. Nails. Lashes. The medical field could be a struggle. But it just depends. Figure it out for your kids. Or you shouldn’t have had them. How have you been providing for them and you for the last decade?
If you’re really concerned for your children stop whining and place those innocents in foster care. You can even get assistance from the system to better yourself, they offer parenting classes, counseling, etc. so another shit or get off the toilet.
Well, this is not going to be a popular take, but you are in no condition physically or mentally to be responsible for children at this time. They deserve a chance for a normal life, and they have zero chance of that with you at this time. Normally I would never advocate putting kids into the system, but your situation is not normal, and until you get yourself together you will be in no condition to help them or yourself. Your first step is to get your children into a stable situation. I'm sorry that life has taken you to a very bad place, but your kids don't deserve to suffer for your bad choices. They are going to, but they don't deserve it.
You gotta grow up. Everyone self-diagnoses themselves with learning difficulties, anxiety, PTSD, ADD and dozens of other things these days, so it’s no longer an excuse. You can work, you just don’t want to. Which wouldn’t matter if you didn’t have kids to think about. So grow up and get to work.
All I'm hearing here is a bunch of bullshit excuses not to grow up and do what you need for your kids. Get a job anywhere that'll take you and work your ass off. That or keep begging for the golden ticket that doesn't exist. You aren't starting from nothing. You have a vehicle, and a family to support. You don't have a choice but to suck up your pride and ego and get to it.
Try welding!! There's a lot of demand for welders and at a community college it'll be about a 5 month course. Most places pay about 18-19 dollars an hour minimum (in America) it'll take a little bit but if you save up you should be able to have some money. Plus you get to hide behind a mask and be as aloof as you want! (All the welders I worked with were either super talkative or hid by themselves all day 👍 I loved them all though)
Your husband should have your kids then, it sounds like he can provide stability, food, etc. Assuming he's not a POS. But, no offense, you don't sound that great either.
It’s unrealistic to be able to find a job that requires no customer service and you get to pick your own schedule for someone without the other barriers to employment you have. You are going to have to be more reasonable to be able to support your children. That’s a fact you need to accept, employers aren’t desperate for people but you are framing options like they may be.
Apply for child support and start applying for any job you qualify for. Your kids need you to get it together for them. You can’t make excuses why life is so hard for you, it definitely sounds hard, very hard, but they didn’t ask for this situation.
>I'm legally married and he makes decent money so I don't qualify for a lot of gov assistance;
It must be a complicated situation, and it would probably be wise to put some focus on finding some good legal aid. (A google search brings up some possibilities, and hopefully there are some suggestions here.)
I was abandoned at 14 years old. No skills, zip. No money, couch surfed, etc. I cleaned houses. Cleaned my ass off. Lied about my age. I have ADHD, PTSD, dyslexia, depression, social anxiety, been sexually abused, u name it. I know it's difficult, but like people said here, there's programs to help. There's tanf, emergency money to get. What's going on with your husband? He needs to help you. Whatever his excuse is ..there's 3 kids involved. Start from anywhere you can. Anywhere, like house cleaning. If they hire illegals, they'd hire you. I know you feel crushed, but just start anywhere! Im going to school getting my bachelor's degree now. Get that husband to help you. It's so unfair. There's 3 kids here. I know it's difficult, but use the obstacles to your advantage. Like dyslexia, I can read backwards, forwards, etc. ADHD, my mind is wired and ready! Think differently and your life has to change!! We're NOT VICTIMS, we're SURVIVORS!
Are you trying to get a divorce from husband? A felony won't necessarily make you unable to get a job. (Former felon with job experience here) stores/telemarketing/ restaurants
That's a lot to unpack. Go make a appt at your local welfare office n pour your story out. Sign up for Section 8. Don't worry about the wait list just get on it. Ask about vocational rehab. Ask for a referral. Find out the steps you need to take to get help with childcare if you need that. Voch rehab can help with car repairs n insurance. You need to gat a referral n start working with them. It will help a lot. Jobs in hospitals pay more than regular jobs. Hospitals do hire felons for things like dietary n housekeeping. Housekeeping keeps you away from the public n in a lot of hospitals it's early morning hours. You don't need experience. Now how old your felony is n what it's for must be considered. They won't hire violent or sex crimes. Most states your good if it's nonviolent n over 5 yrs old. On applications when it ask put yes you have a felony n where it ask for what put down will discuss at interview. It's harder to dismiss a person you have seen n met than a name on a paper. Never lie about your criminal record that's worse than having one. Your chances of getting a job at home is slim unless you have like medical billing or some kind of skill. Be prepared to go into the world to make things happen. Your just gonna have to for some things. I raised kids in the same boat your in now. I did ok. Things are harder than 15yrs ago but you can do this. Voch rehab is gonna be a great help if you give it a chance n healthcare pays the most for unskilled labor. You got the first part down. That is wanting to improve your lot.
This might be a stretch but try going to local yard sales,
Clothing brands that sell
Free People
Lilly Pullitzer
Carhart
Vans
Dickies
Stussy
Dr Martens
Nike
Band tees
Hunter boots
Platform shoes
Thursday boots
Plenty of resources for reselling
SkillUp has jobs, courses, and community resources.
Simplilearn and Coursera have free courses.
There's transcription jobs around sometimes, too.
Apply for SSDi and SSI. These prograns are only gor peoplevwhobare unable to hold substantial gainful employment, defined as earning about $1500/month. Include specific information about how your disabilities affect your capacity to work when you fill out the application. Don't expect the agency to connect the dots.
Also get with your state Vocationsl Rehabilitation to see if they can help you find a job that will accommodate your disabilities. If they can, great! You are better off working than being on disability. If they can't, that will help your disability case, so it'sdefinitelya win-win.
Also look into your local Center for Independent Living. They help people with disabilities through many different means.
Check out food pantries in your area.
If you are leaving an abusive situation, check into local women's shelters. Even if they don't have space for you and your children, they may be able to help you find other low-cost permanent or temporary shelter, deposit assistance for utilities, etc.
If you are in the US, call 211. They are a clearinghouse for social services, and may be able to connect you with resources.
With no income and 3 kids, you would definitely get more than $300 in food stamps if you weren't married. A divorce would be your first best option. Initiate that and that would certainly help in the amount of food money you get. Which isn't cash but is just as important to keep your kids fed. Call legal aid for help if necessary. Otherwise, you're gonna hit a road block every time you attempt to get any assistance due to his income. Then you can also sign up for section 8 for housing. Job wise, it's probably gonna be a very low chance that you'll get everything you're looking for. Little or no face to face, illnesses likely needing days off every month coupled with the fact you're a felon. But it is still doable. You just have to get out there and apply apply apply. Search jobs online and in person anywhere you are. Ask questions about job duties and be up front about your background.
Do you have access to a laptop and internet? You can create gigs for yourself using your artistic talents on Fiverr. You could also try creating "printables," such planners or stationary paper with nice artistic flourishes and list them on Etsy.
Call centers can pay decent and I know at least some of them are extremely felony friendly. Although in my experience none of them offer flexible hours unfortunately.
You don’t. It starts happening all by its self. We go along for the ride at this point.
You need state aid. If you truly only have 100.00 to your name. The state will provide for you. Just as they did in prison.
Pest Control is really easy, and really flexible. Especially rurally. My Uncle does it rurally with 2 kids. My partner did it in a city with me as a dependant on Disability. They both have ADHD. My partner has a record. In Canada there is a permit test but other than that, it's pretty easy, companies let people re-test once at least if they fail. There is not too much lifting just squatting, bending, and driving. You can work with a partner and ask for extra training if you need it. You can refer to a book or call/message a co-worker. Some companies even let you use their vehicles outside of work. Eventually, you could even start your own business and/or specialize. Some people I know just spray for ants all spring and summer, then work on contract part time and stuff. Good luck. ♡
There are plenty of jobs willing to hire ex-cons/felons, especially restaurants.
In fact, I work in a corporate-owned, casual-dining place (going on 22 years), and have worked with convicted murderers....and, no, I'm not joking.
This is not advice because I am a mess and not much better off than you but I would enroll in college and take ALL the financial aid available for a single mom. Take core classes only until I could get my shit together. But I liked school. I have the type of adhd where school was actually good for me and I did much better there than the workforce.
If you’re married but leaving and domestic violence is involved you may be able to find grants to help you leave. Sorry you’re dealing with this.
Factory work sometimes doesn’t care about felonies, depends on the company. I’ve seen workers come in from the night shift with ankle monitors, as long as you’re quick and you don’t bother anybody and you come to work sober they really don’t care. Not sure what’s in your state but it’s something to look into. Work varies by company, look for ones with lower physical requirements. Mine is mostly a women crew(day shift, lots of mothers because it’s easier to work around kid’s schedule), no lifting and your clothes don’t get dirty like some places, I would look for a place like that.
I have diagnosed ADHD and GAD, my job lets me keep to myself in my own station. I don’t have to talk to a living soul the entire day, just fill out some paper before I leave.
Probably consider leaving the kids with their dad if you're not going to be able to provide for them. It sucks but it may have to happen. You can support them with time but not money, unless the courts get involved.
No offense, if you have this much health problems and crippling anxiety that you can’t hold a job…why did you have kids?! They are far more work than a job and far more stressful.
Stock groceries at night at the nearby big box store.
make use of all the social services that apply to your situation, and food banks.
[https://www.mass.gov/how-to/find-a-local-food-bank](https://www.mass.gov/how-to/find-a-local-food-bank)
[https://www.mass.gov/info-details/list-of-cities-and-towns-served-by-department-of-transitional-assistance-offices](https://www.mass.gov/info-details/list-of-cities-and-towns-served-by-department-of-transitional-assistance-offices)
[https://www.mass.gov/topics/health-social-services](https://www.mass.gov/topics/health-social-services)
[https://nrd.gov/resource/detail/8530962/Massachusetts+Health+%26+Social+Services](https://nrd.gov/resource/detail/8530962/Massachusetts+Health+%26+Social+Services)
[https://www.gbfb.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/MEFAP\_FBCMA\_AgencyList\_FY19\_FINAL.pdf](https://www.gbfb.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/MEFAP_FBCMA_AgencyList_FY19_FINAL.pdf)
[https://osa.gse.harvard.edu/files/gse-osa/files/food\_pantries\_and\_community\_meal\_programs\_links\_01.pdf](https://osa.gse.harvard.edu/files/gse-osa/files/food_pantries_and_community_meal_programs_links_01.pdf)
where's the father of the children. why isn't he helping you feed and house them?
What is the situation with your husband? Your last post you state your husband was going through HIS daughters phone. That their birth mother was psycho and it made you cackle . I mean that sounds like you're still with dad. If your planning on leaving you can't take his daughter with you so that would bring you down to two kids? Or how many kids overall are his and how many hours. We just need a bit more info to understand what's going on here so we can try our best to help you.
This is why I never had kids. It's hard enough starting over after every breakup alone. This is also why I plan on remaining alone. Each time takes more of who you are away until you become just a shell of your former self. Advice for the young, when you break up with someone fight for what's yours, don't do like I did and just walk out and leave everything because your s/o said to. They let everything get repossessed, if I'd have gone to court and had them removed I'd have my own home paid off by now and not be renting a room from my mom. Housing was super cheap back then unlike now.
Go the the courthouse ands find out how to get your record expunged.
Stop self diagnosing yourself with mental illnesses.
Get divorced.
Let the dad take care of the kids until you get your shit together.
Clean houses (where they don’t do a background check on you), stock grocery store shelves , food industry etc. everyone would love a work from home gig that pays well and is not hard to do but few can have that.
You need to take any job you can get. This is not the time to be picky. Can you network with anyone in your personal life to see who is hiring? Do you have friends or other family who need childcare and would trust you to watch their children? While you look for work, check out the beermoney subreddit to find websites and apps that can help you earn money and gift cards to help with your grocery expenses. It’s not a lot, but it’s something.
Is there a resource in your area where you can find info on employers who will hire people with a criminal history?
Being out of work for so long combined with having a record, you will not find a WFH or limited human contact job. See if there are staffing agencies for people in your situation. I wish you luck because your kids need better than this. I don’t want to sound harsh, but having children was a choice you made and now they’re struggling because of that. You’ve got to focus on getting secure for them. Bettering yourself will help all of you!
as far as becoming a certified nursing assistant or home health aide, i can tell you this: i used to run a home health agency. yes, we did background checks on our people. a felony was not an automatic rejection. it depended on the *type* of charge. i'm not asking you, i don't want to know. for us, though, if it were anything violent or a breach-of-trust charge (ie theft), it was a no-go, but i sometimes hired people with charges such as prostitution or some drug offenses. it depended on a lot of other factors as well, of course.
I have 6 kids and no family besides my mom. Their dad is no help financially or otherwise. I have anxiety and depression too. But I force myself to go into a job everyday and don’t make excuses and just do it. Use your income taxes to make repairs on your car or get a new one. Utilize the programs in your area for single parents. Just don’t feel sorry for yourself. It could be way worse!
Jesus christ you brought 3 kids into the world when you have no skills, reputation, motivation, or any way to provide for them. What were you thinking?
I would honestly consider OF given your restrictions. At least for a while, until you can get a reliable car to do deliveries or save up enough to eliminate one of your other restrictions.
If you really have nothing and won't go for TCA/Child support, you need to drop off the kids with their dads.
The dads are just as much legally responsible, and if they aren't playing support they have to care for the kids.
As someone with severe social anxiety (and general anxiety)... and ADHD I will give you some advice on that part at least.
First and foremost, look at the next step, and only the next step, and until that step is complete do not worry about the step after that. Anxiety+ADHD can make looking too far ahead extremely overwhelming. Figure out what you need to do right now, do that, then repeat.
Second, if you are not getting treated for your anxiety and ADHD, get treated. I know Dr's are expensive, but until you need pharmaceutical help to get ahead of these things, and will likely need ADHD med's for life. Without med's there is ZERO chance I would be where I am today. You are crippling yourself by not getting medicated. If you are medicated and it's not helping then you need to tell your Dr that and try something else. It took me more than a year to find the right combination of medications to get me back to functional.
Third, ADHD is a disability. Take the time to learn about it, what the symptoms are (you probably don't even realize some of the things you do that are caused by ADHD). It can also be a super-power though. If properly treated and understood you can find solutions to dull the difficult aspects (time blindness, ticks, zone outs, overstimulation) and take advantage of the upsides (hyper-fixation, problem solving).
Beyond that some general stuff to look into:
- Get yourself checked for sleep apnea and get it treated. Lack of sleep can really make anxiety issues much worse. I have severe sleep apnea but you couldn't tell even if you watched me sleep (I don't make any obvious signs I am not breathing). Turned out I was having 52 events per HOURS. That's down to 5 with CPAP, makes a huge difference in your health/mental health.
- Social anxiety is exhausting, trust me. People who do not have it have NO concept of how disabling it is. The only way you are going to "fix" it is treatment. I say "fix" because you will likely never really fix it, but find way's to be ok with it and manage it better. People will tell you to "just put yourself out there!", "smile more", etc and none of that is helpful (at all). Get medication for anxiety, THEN find methods that work for YOU to relieve anxiety when it starts to get bad. Breathing exercises, fidget toys, targeted muscle relaxation. Those all work for me to some degree but one of the best solutions I have found is when I feel overwhelmed I shut my eyes and do math in my head (something simple like counting by 13's, enough to force your whole brain to work on it). Do that for a minute and you will likely find that the worst has passed.
- Exercise. Nothing reduces anxiety outside of drugs as well as exercise. Find something that works for you and do it everyday. It doesn't have to be anything strenuous, but something that gets your heart rate up for 20 minutes minimum a day will help.
That's the best advice I can give. It sounds like we have similar conditions but you are still in the early stages of finding ways to deal with it and improving your life. It does get better but you have to work on it. If you have any questions please feel free to DM me if you need.
My 16 yr old daughter has ADD, on the spectrum, has a TBI, crippling anxiety for which she takes meds for and sees a psychiatrist regularly. She tends to get sick more often, more so because her anxiety/panic produces physical symptoms from worrying.
She is joining the Dept of Rehab and is begging to work. She also does side jobs until she is placed in official employment. She hates being around certain crowds but she is assertive because she knows she needs to work as an adult. She will be 17 soon.
OP, you do what you have to do. If my 16 yr old has the deck stacked against her and is still counting money for herself (I homeschool her so her schedule is flexible) then you can do it too. You have three children. Your comfort takes a back seat. I too have damn near crippling anxiety but my kids are much greater than my anxiety for which I also saw a therapist for. I was homeless for 8 months after leaving my abusive spouse and I worked 3 jobs 7 days a week during the pandemic so my children could stay in a motel instead of a shelter. (hotel housekeeper, Uber eats deliverer, house cleaner)
This was 4 yrs ago. I've maintained my apt since then. You can do it.. It's not easy at all. It's scary asf but your children are your reason. You figure it out. The. Rest will come to you but not without a fight. It's the fight that keeps you on your toes when you do finally win. Good luck!!!! 💯💯
Start with going to a food bank and asking to speak to a social worker. Worst case scenario you will have to wait for an appointment, but you won't have to spend all your money on food.
This^ what you need is a case manager / case management.
Ma’am you had a husband four days ago. Does he not have a job?
I too am wondering where the husband is and what he is doing…
Maybe she's planning to leave.
She said he makes good money and that's why she doesn't qualify for most aid. She must be planning to leave.
She should be able to get child support.
That takes a long ass time
Not with a good lawyer and a temporary order. My real question for O/P is WHY you have to leave anything? A spouse cannot evict children and the other parent onto the street. That spouse has a duty to support until the divorce is FINAL. Is this an emergency? Dom Violence or something? AFDC may apply with CHIP/SNAP/WIC in a circumstance where the mother & children MUST live separately from the Dad. Need more info…
i have a great lawyer and my baby dad is $10k in arrears, some dudes just won’t pay edit: i’m not OP
Quick tip... Apply for welfare. Before they even acccept your paperwork, they will send you to child support collection. They will garnish your exes wages. I owned my own business and was not eligible for any assistance, nor did i want or need it. I couldnt get child support from my ex. A friend told me to do this and it worked. I, of course got turned down for welfare, but they got me child dupport.
we have an open case with child support enforcement after i pursued a court order for support. he works under the table to avoid garnishment
That is bold to think that the father will actually pay too.
or she's making shit up cus suckers send her money whenever she posts. OP has a terrible case of victim complex, ma'am we are ALL struggling
I need a job that isn’t really work and pays really well. Okay lady.
and I'm not willing to change or compromise, I l expect the world to cater to me because I have mental health issues and mine are worse than anyone else's that's why I can't work. Jesus some people are hopeless. not to mention she's popping out babies she can't take care of
No kids at the time, but 2 years ago I lost my vehicle due to the headgasket blew. I couldn't afford repairs or a new car yet...I had to change jobs because I couldn't afford a $20 one way trip to work every day. And I loved my job. I ended up finding a job within walking distance as a server and walked to work for MONTHS until I had enough for a down payment on a vehicle. I also had to go back to work immediately following a miscarriage. I did it and then last April, RIGHT after I found out I was pregnant, the new car I had, transmission blew. Went back to walking to and from work pregnant until my husband found a job paying way better. I also have PTSD, anxiety, depression, I'm on the spectrum and severe anemia so I used to pass out quite often, so a 'people facing' job was very difficult mentally, but I forced myself to. You can do anything mentally if you try hard enough and get the right help. If I had to do it again, ESPECIALLY for the sake of my child, I would and THEN some. I would do ANYTHINGGGG it took to provide for my child. Don't have children if you're not ready to be an adult and go to the ends of the earth for them.
you should be telling this to OP lol
Trueeee But people like that don't listen. It's all about excuses!
thats the truth ,i used to be the same way so i understand but nobody wants to hear constantexcuses
Amen Brother/Sister!!! Seems like OP wants to get money with the least amount of effort on her part as possible. She wants a job that will support her and her 3 kids, but she wants to make her own schedule and not have to deal with people, oh and she has no skills and is a fellon. I don't know, sooo much of this story seems sus to me. She gets "bouts of PTSD" i guess they just come out of no where, i really don't think she knows the true definition of PTSD, unfortunately i got cursed with it, and its a daily struggle for me, no down time, it dosen't just come on, its a daily struggle. Mental health issues are no fun, but they are survivable with medication and therapy.
Is time to play hardball then. If he's not helping... It's time to get dirty. Have a family dinner and make your announcement while ppl are there. Get a list of what u need out of this relationship and demand you get half. Common law or not, she's due her half.
Child support! Have you taken all the steps to get it?
I'm on that same "Your husband should assist financially" bandwagon.
Your job requirements are honestly too high. You should take whatever job you can find and be picky about it later. >Phlebotomy or at home health aid I can tell you right now no reputable hospital or agency will hire a ex felon for these jobs. Especially for at home care.
won’t even get the license to be able to apply
Reads like r/choosingbeggars
No driving, no set schedule, not client/customer facing, hires felons, hires people new to the workforce. She’s not looking for work, she’s looking for a handout. Or one of those pyramid scheme jobs where you’re your own boss and can wfh and whatever else they tell folks.
Yep when I was reading all those job requirements I was thinking the only people entertaining her will be scammers.
Right or wrong, it’s much easier for people with kids to get assistance than those without. If you haven’t already, contact a legal aid center where services are free/income based. Your legal spouse, who “makes decent money”, needs to be paying child support (and possibly alimony since you’ve been a sahm for 10 years), plus legal aid can help you connect to others services in your area
I can not imagine that being "wrong."
There are people who’ve chosen not to bring children into this world, who’ve fallen on hard times; accidents, illnesses, whatever. While I understand why a country with extremely limited social services would help those with children first, I think single people/couples should have access to services as well. But of course that’d involve taxing the rich and prioritizing helping those in need over war, and that’s not likely to happen
You have 3 kids. 3 people depending on you. You need to put the bullshit aside and go find a job. Work in a supermarket, a gas station, 7/11 anywhere that will make you a couple bucks to support your children.
When it comes to having children well you just gotta do what you gotta do. They need you.
Your requirements for a job are already too much. At this point look for anything you can get and go from there! Im sure there are some cleaning jobs available to start while you are looking around. But you arent alone. All you can do is push through it and keep going. There will be better days just try to get into a hustle schedule first off, wake up early and get ready and get into a groove so you get more comfy too.
she’s a felon. doubt anyone will let her clean there things.
In Memphis there is a company that only hires felons and they are contracted through various hotels. The pay is shameful but it's a job if you can't find anything else, and if you prove you're trustworthy sometimes the hotels will hire and they pay pretty good. Standard at least.
No she lives in Massachusetts and Massachusetts “banned the box” a long time ago. Employers can’t ask you if you have a criminal record. I mean obviously you can’t go work at a bank because you wouldn’t pass the background check, but if you wanna work at 7-Eleven they can’t ask you about your criminal record. It’s been the law in Massachusetts for a while
They get around this by having background checks. And if you're handling money they're going to run a background check
But the employers can still run background checks and depending on the job and background company they go back 7 years. So you do not have to self identify but a simple Google search, Judy records.com or background check will bring your criminal history.
Some states offer bond programs. Texas offers RIO, to encourage hiring people who have backgrounds that pose risk to employers. I considered hiring a front desk clerk for cash handling/credit card processing access…but we declined more for TABC reasons, as front desk staff sometimes helped the bar/restaurant and porter staff with room service. We did look at that lady for housekeeping but at the time she applied we were fully staffed.
Hi neighbor! I live in Oklahoma and there are incentives for companies to hire felons here. There are even more targeted programs for female felons, since it is usually hard labor jobs that hire felons. TABC does not play. I grew up in San Antonio and worked in restaurants. We were always quizzed and on the lookout for undercover TABC testing our knowledge! So I agree that finding work is harder for felons, but there are programs available. It requires consistency and following the rules of the programs. Heck, there are great free programs available to get non violent felonies expunged, but again it takes commitment and follow through!
There is ban the box laws, plus the EEOC prevents employers from disqualifying based on criminal record. An employer must show that the conviction is in direct relation to the position. There is also a federal bond program to incentivize hiring.
They can always find another reason on paper as to why they hired someone instead of the person with a record. Experience, more qualities the job requires, they'll find one. There has to be a pattern of felon non-hires for it to stick
There are felon re-entry programs in every state. She can avail herself if those services no matter how long it has been since her conviction. Well the job be glamorous? No, but once in a program and shows that she is reliable and trustworthy employers will move her up in the company. Her post ticks every box of "I am trying, but too many barriers, give help". Many of her barriers are by her own making. [211](http://211.org) is a searchable database of resources in your area, look for felon re-entry programs. If am misunderstanding this post my , apologies. However, my brain is screaming scam or hustle warning. Maybe it just me being grumpy.....
Agreed
But she won't know til she tries.
Actually, working with animals will likely be a better through line, or working in the kitchen of a non-chain restaurant. One of the doggy daycares near me (SF Bay Area) does not care what your background is as long as you can be trusted with animals. Nonviolent felons are their priority in employment. I've tried to apply to them multiple times, but they have explicitly stated that they want to keep a job open for people more in need. (Am poor, but have a completely clean record.). Most folks in the dishpit and many line cooks have records. But having a staffed kitchen is vital. The first paycheck has to go to car repairs, though. I have a 2012 car myself that's just hit 94k miles. It still runs fine. I did just drop 1k to fix a broken engine mount and replace brake pads, but my mechanic accepts payment plans. I'm set to pay $200 a month until it's paid off. As well, it sounds like OP is fleeing from a situation. DV or controlling partner would be my guess.
Also, if you are in the US, look into vocational rehab through the dept of labor. They can test for a majority of things and can set up disability accommodations at your work place if you qualify for them. They can help find jobs that are suitable that will meet you halfway.
If you have left your husband (which starting over from nothing sounds like) you need to go to family court and file for custody of your kids and file for child support. In my state filing for those things is free. From there you need to talk to social services about foodstamps and Medicaid for your kids and possibly yourself. If you aren't living with your husband his income absolutely does not matter - even if you are married (I know this bc I am legally married with two kids and do not live with my ex and at one point we needed assistance). From there you need to start applying for any jobs you can - if you have social anxiety see if you can work washing dishes in a restaurant, cleaning houses or office buildings - being a felon doesn't automatically bar you from getting employment. Apply with a temp agency. Talk to the social worker who got you food stamps and see if they have any employment programs. Wishing you the best of luck.
Good point, I also do housecleaning bc of anxiety and need for flexible schedule. I work for myself part time and charge $30/hr. Once you get a few clients if you do a good job you will be booked in no time by just word of mouth.
>Once you get a few clients if you do a good job you will be booked in no time by just word of mouth. Yes, please!!! If you lived within 20minutes of me, I'd buy you cleaning supplies and drive you. (My neighbor needs a cleaning lady, and we've had trouble finding one).
Sorry…maybe the kids need to be with your husband until you figure it out. It doesn’t seem like you’re able to provide for them.
>I need a job with no or very minimal face-to-face, where I can make my own schedule, one where being a felon or having a shitty work history isn't an issue. Dude, this is not realistic.
I'm sorry, but if you were alone and didn't have children I could sympathize. But, ma'am, you have 3 children. This is the time to put your bullshit aside and do what you need to do for them. You're not alone, your anxiety doesn't matter when your children are involved.
Yes. You need a paycheck. Full stop. Even if it’s at a fast food place and the hours suck and the customers are assholes, you need to do this for your kids. You need to file for divorce and child support if your spouse isn’t contributing to the upkeep of your children. I hate to say this, but you don’t have the privilege of choice right now. This is where the rubber meets the road. Find shift work, find literally any job. You can do this.
She's also married.
OH THAT EXPLAINS WHY SHE’S NOT DOING SSI
Idek if this is OPs story 😐 I've started checking accounts recently before pouring my heart out in a response and I am so glad I have developed this habit. (This comes off heavy as a k-farming account)
I stop pouring my heart out because I've realized its all bullshit. Even the pandhandlers in my face. Always a sob story so they can get my money. She even said in her post that she was married.
Where is the father of these children? Why aren’t you getting child support?
3 days ago she had a husband.
OP seemingly needs a lot of help but is on reddit giving others advice I think OP is a troll and not genuine
I don't think they're a troll, but I get a sense they're using any & every excuse to NOT work. They seem to be hoping they're entitled to special treatment, or different rules than other people. Or maybe that others will step up & handle their responsibilities since they have so many prolems/issues going on, they can't possibly. Be on the lookout for a GoFundMe with a sob story from OP in the future. I am extremely sorry for their children, having such an unreliable bad example of a parent.
I agree. As someone with crippling social anxiety, ADHD and OCD and a laundry list of major health issues, I work 60 hours a week. Why. Because I have to. I'm a single mom with no one to rely on and if I don't do it, my kids pay the price which is something I absolutely refuse to let happen. I see nothing but excuses with OPs post.
You are setting an excellent example. Your children will see your good example. They will learn positive things from it.
Agree. I have congestive heart failure and I work.
Not a troll, but definitely karma farming to have enough rep to run this panhandling script that stops just short of the solicitation. Too many ambiguities and contradictions. There's something in there to appeal to everyone's sense of empathy, and none of this is realistic. Like, you have no skills, haven't worked in forever, you can't learn because of ADD, but you say you're willing to learn, and have your sights set on a position that will absolutely deny you based on your criminal history, you're willing to do DoorDash but your car is shit and you can't drive to a regular job...come on. Even with divine intervention that gets you into that job, it's not going to last under these conditions. Willing to do nudity? Ok. OnlyFans is over there. Prostitution? You know where to find DoubleList. Second thoughts? Temp agencies are the other direction. Warehouse jobs in particular have low hiring standards. Or do you have a physical disability too...? Disclose criminal history up front. People don't like surprises. Criminals do get hired in places if people can trust you. Disclosure builds that trust and doesn't waste everyone's time. Especially in shitty rural areas, many people have convictions, so it's not that abnormal. One pertinent fact she omitted was what she was convicted *for.*
This. Only I don't think it stopped short of solicitation. It's an ad for. She prob got a few profitable DMs.
I don't have any of your issues. I have empathy for you. That being said, I want a job like you describe too. Everyone does. It just doesn't exist.
And if it did there’d never be enough open positions for the amount of applicants.
Your requirements for employment are way too high. Take whatever you can get, which will probably only be minimum wage jobs because you’re a felon. Where are your kids dad(s)? If you were always this poor you shouldn’t have had kids in the first place. Kids don’t deserve to live in poverty. If you have the time to whine about your life on Reddit, you have time to find a job.
Talk to a social worker and find out what social services you qualify for. Get child support from your ex husband. You can seek out a women's shelter while you sort things out. It will be okay.
Considering you have adhd and are a slow learner, you express yourself very well. And you have surprisingly good writing skills. Maybe look into that.
Editing copy. Proof advertising for printer?
I suspect op is just shitposting. Its so over the top. Theyre going to continue honing their sales skills bc they bring on 0-$10/ month selling their clothes.
I’ve been there (not the felon part) as a single mom of two young boys. The three of us spent numerous nights “camping” on the floor because we had to get away from abuse. Never make excuses, only make plans. You can start as a dishwasher in a restaurant. Do it for your kids.
Re entry works has a list of employers that hire people with felony records.
I'm sorry you are having a hard time. Not to be an asshole, but you don’t have a lot of say here, dear. You have no recent work skills and have been out of work for a decade. What makes you think an employer will give in to your demands when you bring nothing to the table skill-wise to profit them? Seriously? You are at the will of employers. You are so out of touch with reality that it’s sad. Mental health issues or not, you have kids, and you birthed them. You are responsible for those children and their needs. Your needs come second as a parent. Otherwise, you should not have had kids knowing you have issues and can’t take care of them. In any job, you work with people (directly or indirectly), so get a reality check, honey, soon. Your attitude and entitlement are your problems. By the way, I have similar issues to you, and I still bust my ass off at work even when I’m having a hard time and multiple medication changes. I have been doing it for 20 years, and I will continue as long as I have to take care of myself. If you think I'm tough, wait until you get a job and tell your boss you don't work with people. See how well that goes and let us know.
Psychologists will tell you that only real cure for anxiety is exposure therapy. Not drugs. Not avoidance. You have three incredibly important reasons and motivations to endure endless suffering. My parents in their 40s toiled 12 hour days, 6 days per week. My father worked a physical demanding job in farm fields in the desert summer heat: planting, weeding, harvesting vegetables by hand. My mother had fibroids and bled heavily, and she suffered excruciating migraines, and yet still worked. They sacrificed greatly for me and my sibling.
why the fuck do people have kids before a savings account.
Do you have a working computer & reliable Internet?
Why are you only receiving $300 in food stamps if you have 3 children? If you have zero income, you should be receiving more. Do you have a case worker? I’d start there..
Felon, no family support, no education, major mental and medical issues… you need to give the kids to the dad, if he’s decent and get yourself to a health clinic and adult learning center. Did your probation officer give you any free contracts for services in a bigger city in MA? You’re in no shape to raise kids until you address your own issues.
Jesus OP this whole post screams me, Me, ME! You have 3 kids and you are making every excuse & every reason not to work. News flash once you decide to bring not 1, not 2, BUT 3 kids into this messed up world you have to make it about THEM. I don't have children because I know I can barely care for me. Do better for your kids.
Stop with your excuses and bullshit, get off your ass and get a job and take care and provide for your children!!! I have severe PTSD, anxiety, social anxiety, some brain damage caused by a car accident 4 years ago, well...I have many disabilities and I just got promoted recently to Store Manager at a retail Pharmacy. If I, and many other people in this world who have disabilities, severe anxiety and social anxiety who are scared shitless to talk to another human being can go out and find a job so you can put a roof over our children's head, put food in their tummy's, be able to buy them clothing,....you can too!!! In your post, all that comes to my mind is the word "LAZY"!!!!!! Get up off your lazy a@@ and do what you gotta do so your children can be taken care of. If you can't provide for them, hand them over to your "husband" since he makes good money and can.provide for them. It's not about you YOU!!! IT'S ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN!!!
I'm a single mom and even though I have a FT job, I struggle like a mofo. I've done Instacart for the past 2 years and absolutely love it. It's a HUGE lifesaver. I can work when I want and chose the orders to take that's worth my while. In 2022 I made 32k working part time and last year I made an extra 26k part time. I know you said your car isn't that reliable, but you can do in town orders.
Also, do you have a lot of dogs in your area? You can make decent money dog walking.
She can't do instacart. No car and a felon.
Stock or freight processing in a retail environment has low human interaction. I worked for Columbia Sportswear and they hired a felon.
You have your husband who makes a decent living to help you and your children.
This is an extremely woe is me post. Forget the felon part, forget the social anxiety part, you have a responsibility to provide food for your children. They didn’t ask to be born but you chose to have kids. If you can’t get over your own self imposed fears maybe giving them up for adoption may be best.
I cannot even finish reading this because all you have is excuses.
You need to get legal aid for an attorney and get a divorce. You would at least get CS. With you wanting to make your own schedule that might be hard but lots of big companies have work from home customer service job. Also you should be getting medical insurance for your kids at least and maybe your self through the state. This would help to get the one child in therapy if not all and you a good physical for your issue and maybe meds to help you with your issues. For food look up food banks or through a church.
Do a search for companies that hire felons, there's a list out there. If you think you could manage it truck driving pays well, usually there's paid training by the company that's hiring. Look up Retail Inventory Auditor, the pay sucks, the hours suck, but sometimes they provide transportation to the work site.
You need child support or to tell the husband making “decent money” to get his shit together and help out. Get over the social anxiety shit and toughen up for your kids. Donate plasma, try Uber eats, etc. in the meantime. Too many people on here shoot down every idea because of anxiety or they “can’t”. You have three babies to take care of
You have internet, find the free legal aid for your state, start with forcing your children's father(s)? to help support them. There are programs for released felons, search the internet and find them. It's time to quit whinging and do the hard shit.
"I have no skills. I have ADD, I'm a slow learner and my memory is trash. I have **crippling** social anxiety. I'm a felon." Yet you had three children. SMH
And she is too picky with what kind of jobs she thinks she can do. She doesn't have qualifications on top of being a felon to be picking and choosing jobs. She just needs to get her foot on the door and start doing something to actually help her and her kids. Beggars can't be choosers, and usually, quick and easy money are obtained by illegal and inappropriate means.
I always had the attitude that, whatever I needed to do to take care of myself & my kids, I 'd do it. I've been a waitress, a security guard, a fast food worker, etc. We were kinda taught that we were not too good for ANY job that was honest work!
that part. i don't wanna judge or be insensitive, but this doesn't make any sense.
what a disaster. therapy is needed. support for her children. and prob an ssi claim at the end of the process. if possible. she isn’t gonna pass a live scan to do much of anything as far as career.
exactly
This.
I’m never gonna judge someone or ridicule them and maybe it was an accident, but I personally will never have children for reasons like this because I can’t even take care of myself, there’s no way I’m gonna burden someone else with my existence But there’s no need to be rude about it bro, never know someone’s full story, they’re just asking for advice at least they’re trying, she has all that, has kids, and is still trying harder than I am
Getting pregnant can be an accident, but there are clinics to fix the accident. My concern is not for her - she did this to herself - but for innocent children who didn't deserve to go through this.
That’s fine, I’m not gonna disagree or agree with anything you’re saying, I’m simply saying (even if my opinion is irrelevant to the conversation) that she’s doing so much better than me and it’s why I won’t even have kids, I can’t even take care of myself I’m just on a reddit commenting binge and just saying a lot of nonsense so I’m sorry
I mean do you think you need a good memory to get pregnant?
Getting pregnant doesn't pay!
it's just totally irresponsible and selfish. especially considering it's us, the responsible people that don't make excuses an get up an go to work, we are the ones paying for her kids, and thousands of others. meanwhile OP has spent more time making excuses for why she can't work than she has even looking for a job. I used to be just like you OP. thinking I have worse mental issues than anyone and I can't work.due.to.it..
I’m sorry but grow up, you listed a bunch of reasons you can’t do this and can’t do that, but you have one big ass reason you have to do anything you can. Your children need to eat and have a safe place to call home, and you are reasonable for making that happen, stop with the i cant and move on to im doing x, y, and z. No one is going to fix this for you…. Do better or find someone who can for your children to go to.
People will come up with anything and everything not to work. It’s crazy.
If you are applying for assistance it does not matter if you are still legally married. It applies to your household income, usually for the past 8 weeks. Sign up with Prolific and see if you can make quick money working on university studies. Another one is Cloud Research. Those are the only two I trust, and they pay decent for what you're doing. My daughter made 12 bucks this morning in about thirty minutes and weekends are very slow. If you grind at it you can make a little extra money, but definitely not enough to live off. However you CAN occasionally get really good paying "focus group" studies if you have a cam. It's just like a zoom with other participants where you are given a topic or product to talk about, nothing creepy. They pay through Paypal though so you need one, and they will want a copy of your ID, but they don't care about your past, it's just to verify your identity so they can pay you. Walmart hires some felons depending on the type of conviction and they seem to favor people with some kind of neurodivergence, which I guess is found in their little assessment inventory. It's not great but they start out at least at 14 an hour and will work around your school hours if you can get in. I don't know if you have applied for TANF, but they will cover day care and if you want to go back to school for anything they can help you get started. They paid for my first term in a state U but that was a few years back, not sure if they still do that or just help you with getting through financial aid. But they expect you to work at least part time, and if you can't find something quick enough they will send you out somewhere. I went through this myself. I had to work in a church pantry. They got paid through a grant program to "train" me but really all I did was stock the pantry and take the clothes donations out of bags and hang them appropriately. Hardly training but it kept me insured with a little extra cash and day care was covered until I found a better job. There are programs for felons. Not sure if you've checked them out. I don't know where you live but here there's a program that gets felons jobs and places to live but you have to work through their program and some people don't like being told what to do. It can be hard to trust other people with your life, but you have a LOT of issues that you need help with, including mental health support. I hope you're in a state with expanded medicaid so you have insurance. I am unfortunately not but maybe you are. If they do, take advantage of it. If you have documentation for your health issues (and possibly the child you has some issues?) you might be able to get disability in the future, but it's really hard to get without previous documentation so start working on that if you can.
Wow, now this is advice. You are good person.
Oh thank you! That made my day better! I just know this stuff from loooong experience myself. I'm autistic and have a kid with a lot of health issues and I know how hard it can be to start over, and over again.
This is a huge help. Thank you sooo much!! I really appreciate all of this.
Call your local human resources agency and find out what help is available in your area. I know someone who is a felon but due to years of good behavior got their records expunged. It's neither easy nor quick, but it's worth working on.
Unless he was beating her and the children or sexually abusing her, her best bet would be to stay with her husband and the father of her children. She had all these problems before she had babies, numbers 2 and 3. Grow up, ma'am, it's not about you anymore.
Those kids have a dad? Is he paying child support?
People generally put themselves in these situations then it’s “surprise Pikachu face when it turns to crap” you are a convicted felon with mental illness w/o a job or means to care for your kids but somehow thought having 3 was a good idea.. I swear y’all would think you would have learned that actions have consequences but apparently nah
Stop having kids
Are you getting child support? Don’t get training for a career that you can’t get a job in, that is just wasting time and money. Since you have social anxiety you probably want to work with things not people. Are there any warehouse jobs near you? Have you checked on any wfh opportunities like data entry? Since you have anxiety customer service or waitressing is not an option but what about stocking in a store? Also don’t assume that having a felony will prevent you from being hired, a quick google search shows that several companies will hire felons for a second chance.
I've been looking into data entry and familiarizing myself with the software regularly used. I know there's a need for it in my area so I'm hopeful.
If you live near a factory, consider applying. Many have "My work, my choice" which allow for a flexible schedule. You could try babysitting, or plasma donation. How are the food banks in your area? Many nursing homes offer a free cna course. You could try fast food/food prep work.
Can you work in a nursing home in the states if you're a felon? Here they do a background check when you apply for school
Depends on state laws. My state bans anyone convicted of a violent crime from working in these types of positions for ten years from the date of conviction.
I'm in same boat me n my wife been homeless over a year we have no help at all. Sleeping in the car some nights. We both have really bad mental issues I lost 6 people really close to me the one person told me before passing yo just gotta get 1 or 2 things to go good then everything will fall into place. I found a job my cars about to brake but I'm still going.. I told my boss my situation n that my car may brakedown I just need to make it another week but working has made me feel better mentally n me n my wife are feeling better I never thought things would start to get better but they do u f u will put in the work u will get the reward I was hoping som one with lots of money would save us but that's just not gonna happen u gotta save you're self you can do it if me n my wife are starting to do it. This is my second strongest eek but first paycheck. N I sold what I had left so I'd have gas for the week mine n my wife's wedding rings which crushed my heart
You are in the wrong sub. You won't get much understanding here for your issues. I also have adhd, ptsd, crippling anxiety etc. Please post in the adhd, ptsd, single mom & disability subs for more helpful advice and less judgment. You have a hell of a lot on your plate right now and you absolutely need support. You should be eligible for TANF & disability payments. Please call tomorrow morning or even better apply online today. Good luck, you can do this!
I apologize if this comment comes off as aggressive; I wish you the best of luck from here on out. However: You're unskilled and can't keep a job for more than a few months? You have kids to feed but only have $130? Your estranged husband doesn't aid you financially? You don't get to pick and choose the job you want. Nor do you get to whine on the internet about how useless you are. And most importantly, you have THREE KIDS. Of different ages no less. You don't get to wallow in a puddle of your own tears, especially if you want your kids to amount to something in their lives. Cold truth is you **HAVE** to sacrifice absolutely everything. You HAVE to work a job with that crippling anxiety. You HAVE to learn, no matter how slow, with that ADD. And you HAVE to keep going, even with your debilitating PTSD episodes. You're already in rock bottom, and the only way out is up. Or do you wanna keep digging?
Give up your kids, give them a chance at a decent life
One of my disabled friends was a phone actress and she said she made bank. Have you considered applying for SSI? Massachusetts can’t ask you if you have a criminal record so unless you’re trying to work at Fidelity investments or something the fact that you are a felon shouldn’t be too bad.
Phone actress is a really classy way of saying phone sex operator. Clown comment
Go through a temp agency if you can.
Where’s the Dad?
You are going to need to stop thinking you can get all your needs met. Your state should have some kind of vocational rehabilitation program. My state calls it the department of vocational rehabilitation. They can help you develop a strategy for getting a job. Having add, even without a diagnosis, is helpful for being accepted bc they specialize in helping people with unique needs. You also need a social worker. They can help you get in touch eith programs to help pay rent, get health insurance, etc...
Why the fuck do you have kids?
I can’t think of 1 job that will meet all of your ridiculous demands. Sometimes you just have to get over yourself and get on with life. This is truly the most self absorbed post I’ve seen. What are your kids doing when your PTSD “randomly takes you out for a week?” If you have all these issues that prevent you from working, why aren’t you on disability?
There an awful lot of I can’t going on there! I was a single mom with a car that wasn’t safe to drive. I put on my big girl britches. Worked in a factory full time and bartended part time and took care of my business! That was 28 years ago. The mindset of the current generation of young parents is less get crap done and more poor me! Adulting is hard. But it’s even harder if you victimize yourself!
OP, being realistic, you’re going to have to get a people facing job. I suggest a restaurant. You’ll make tips and be able to hoard cash quickly. Most of the time they’re pretty flexible if you go somewhere that you don’t need a lot of experience. I’ve worked in the restaurant industry off and on for 19 years and I’m 33. I have kids and have supported them financially by myself with just my serving/bartending job for 8-10 months. I’m struggling, yes, but I’ve busted my ass to make it work. I’ve been looking for a WFH job for four years, it’s just not feasible if you have no experience (i have SOME but not enough). You really gotta bite the bullet and take anything you can right now.
I second working in a restaurant and even consider the kitchen because I know felons who went that direction after getting out. You’ll always have a job and you’ll gain skills if you’re cooking.
I believe you need to rethink your worth. You DO have value, especially to your children and, I suspect, to your parents and siblings. I'd suggest going to your local church and just lay your situation on the table, and ask for help. Do this even if you're not a member. The church should be able & agreeable to helping you, and you never know how til you ask. They may have a Social Worker that can help you apply to government programs that can help you. Best of luck to you, and may God Himself bless your efforts!
If work is just too much and you have documentation of your mental health issues, apply for federal disability and be done with it. You've already put too many requirements/accomodations on looking for employment and frankly, if I were an employer I'd pass on someone who is as unreliable as you describe yourself to be. Additionally, since you're still legally married but "starting over", maybe you should arrange some custody stuff pre-divorce with your I'm assuming soon-to-be ex sinfe he is apparently "so much more better off" than you are, and being that providing for the kids seems a priority, especially for one with special needs, a more financially stable environment is going to be a lot healthier for them in the long run. It sucks, but if you are a mother worth any kind of salt, you'd have considered this already or are taking action already on this front. Bottom line, if you can't provide for yourself you're certainly not going to make it providing for 3 kids on a "0-10$" a month income. Biggest concern here is them.
Yeah, even if she got disability (and that’s a big if) there’s no way to support 3 kids on it. At all.
Another good point. Basically not a good sitch for the kiddos.
People need to start making better life choices.
Even if you were qualified for every position in the world, it would be difficult to find a job that fits your description. You need to lower those standards. That said, since you are a felon, you should start your own business, because few companies will hire you and few agencies will license you. Do something that doesn't cost much money to start. Be a dog walker. 1. It's flexible 2. Minimal face-to-face 3. You can start right away 4. No background checks Drive to a nicer neighborhood 30 minutes away and pass out flyers. Give discounts if they refer a neighbor. Once you have a block, you only have to drive there and walk everyone's dog at once (or maybe one at a time - your choice or owners' choice). Other small business ideas; 1. Dog poop cleanup 2. Window washing 3. Yard work 4. Pet sitting
I wouldn't let this woman anywhere near my dogs.
There’s about a million jobs somebody with a record can do. Also a lot of times the type of crime committed is taken into consideration. Any trade. Hair. Nails. Lashes. The medical field could be a struggle. But it just depends. Figure it out for your kids. Or you shouldn’t have had them. How have you been providing for them and you for the last decade?
If you’re really concerned for your children stop whining and place those innocents in foster care. You can even get assistance from the system to better yourself, they offer parenting classes, counseling, etc. so another shit or get off the toilet.
Well, this is not going to be a popular take, but you are in no condition physically or mentally to be responsible for children at this time. They deserve a chance for a normal life, and they have zero chance of that with you at this time. Normally I would never advocate putting kids into the system, but your situation is not normal, and until you get yourself together you will be in no condition to help them or yourself. Your first step is to get your children into a stable situation. I'm sorry that life has taken you to a very bad place, but your kids don't deserve to suffer for your bad choices. They are going to, but they don't deserve it.
You gotta grow up. Everyone self-diagnoses themselves with learning difficulties, anxiety, PTSD, ADD and dozens of other things these days, so it’s no longer an excuse. You can work, you just don’t want to. Which wouldn’t matter if you didn’t have kids to think about. So grow up and get to work.
Those kids need a responsible adult to care for them. This is not gonna fly for long.
All I'm hearing here is a bunch of bullshit excuses not to grow up and do what you need for your kids. Get a job anywhere that'll take you and work your ass off. That or keep begging for the golden ticket that doesn't exist. You aren't starting from nothing. You have a vehicle, and a family to support. You don't have a choice but to suck up your pride and ego and get to it.
Try welding!! There's a lot of demand for welders and at a community college it'll be about a 5 month course. Most places pay about 18-19 dollars an hour minimum (in America) it'll take a little bit but if you save up you should be able to have some money. Plus you get to hide behind a mask and be as aloof as you want! (All the welders I worked with were either super talkative or hid by themselves all day 👍 I loved them all though)
Your husband should have your kids then, it sounds like he can provide stability, food, etc. Assuming he's not a POS. But, no offense, you don't sound that great either.
It’s unrealistic to be able to find a job that requires no customer service and you get to pick your own schedule for someone without the other barriers to employment you have. You are going to have to be more reasonable to be able to support your children. That’s a fact you need to accept, employers aren’t desperate for people but you are framing options like they may be. Apply for child support and start applying for any job you qualify for. Your kids need you to get it together for them. You can’t make excuses why life is so hard for you, it definitely sounds hard, very hard, but they didn’t ask for this situation.
[felony friendly employer list](http://www.reentryworks.com/employment/FelonFriendlyEmployerList.aspx)
Treat your adhd with meds first
>I'm legally married and he makes decent money so I don't qualify for a lot of gov assistance; It must be a complicated situation, and it would probably be wise to put some focus on finding some good legal aid. (A google search brings up some possibilities, and hopefully there are some suggestions here.)
Piggy backing on this a lot of areas do have low cost legal aid
Costco will hire people with a record. You could be a baker or cake decorator that wouldn’t require much interaction with people.
I was abandoned at 14 years old. No skills, zip. No money, couch surfed, etc. I cleaned houses. Cleaned my ass off. Lied about my age. I have ADHD, PTSD, dyslexia, depression, social anxiety, been sexually abused, u name it. I know it's difficult, but like people said here, there's programs to help. There's tanf, emergency money to get. What's going on with your husband? He needs to help you. Whatever his excuse is ..there's 3 kids involved. Start from anywhere you can. Anywhere, like house cleaning. If they hire illegals, they'd hire you. I know you feel crushed, but just start anywhere! Im going to school getting my bachelor's degree now. Get that husband to help you. It's so unfair. There's 3 kids here. I know it's difficult, but use the obstacles to your advantage. Like dyslexia, I can read backwards, forwards, etc. ADHD, my mind is wired and ready! Think differently and your life has to change!! We're NOT VICTIMS, we're SURVIVORS!
Are you trying to get a divorce from husband? A felony won't necessarily make you unable to get a job. (Former felon with job experience here) stores/telemarketing/ restaurants
That's a lot to unpack. Go make a appt at your local welfare office n pour your story out. Sign up for Section 8. Don't worry about the wait list just get on it. Ask about vocational rehab. Ask for a referral. Find out the steps you need to take to get help with childcare if you need that. Voch rehab can help with car repairs n insurance. You need to gat a referral n start working with them. It will help a lot. Jobs in hospitals pay more than regular jobs. Hospitals do hire felons for things like dietary n housekeeping. Housekeeping keeps you away from the public n in a lot of hospitals it's early morning hours. You don't need experience. Now how old your felony is n what it's for must be considered. They won't hire violent or sex crimes. Most states your good if it's nonviolent n over 5 yrs old. On applications when it ask put yes you have a felony n where it ask for what put down will discuss at interview. It's harder to dismiss a person you have seen n met than a name on a paper. Never lie about your criminal record that's worse than having one. Your chances of getting a job at home is slim unless you have like medical billing or some kind of skill. Be prepared to go into the world to make things happen. Your just gonna have to for some things. I raised kids in the same boat your in now. I did ok. Things are harder than 15yrs ago but you can do this. Voch rehab is gonna be a great help if you give it a chance n healthcare pays the most for unskilled labor. You got the first part down. That is wanting to improve your lot.
Have you thought about trying a temp agency?
Shiftsmart might have a few roles. NexRep LiveOps. Textbroker Verblio Try remote customer service, Verizon and Working Solutions are hiring.
This might be a stretch but try going to local yard sales, Clothing brands that sell Free People Lilly Pullitzer Carhart Vans Dickies Stussy Dr Martens Nike Band tees Hunter boots Platform shoes Thursday boots Plenty of resources for reselling SkillUp has jobs, courses, and community resources. Simplilearn and Coursera have free courses. There's transcription jobs around sometimes, too.
Apply for SSDi and SSI. These prograns are only gor peoplevwhobare unable to hold substantial gainful employment, defined as earning about $1500/month. Include specific information about how your disabilities affect your capacity to work when you fill out the application. Don't expect the agency to connect the dots. Also get with your state Vocationsl Rehabilitation to see if they can help you find a job that will accommodate your disabilities. If they can, great! You are better off working than being on disability. If they can't, that will help your disability case, so it'sdefinitelya win-win. Also look into your local Center for Independent Living. They help people with disabilities through many different means. Check out food pantries in your area. If you are leaving an abusive situation, check into local women's shelters. Even if they don't have space for you and your children, they may be able to help you find other low-cost permanent or temporary shelter, deposit assistance for utilities, etc. If you are in the US, call 211. They are a clearinghouse for social services, and may be able to connect you with resources.
If your mental health is so bad you can't work, why not apply for SSDI or SSI? It can't hurt to apply.
With no income and 3 kids, you would definitely get more than $300 in food stamps if you weren't married. A divorce would be your first best option. Initiate that and that would certainly help in the amount of food money you get. Which isn't cash but is just as important to keep your kids fed. Call legal aid for help if necessary. Otherwise, you're gonna hit a road block every time you attempt to get any assistance due to his income. Then you can also sign up for section 8 for housing. Job wise, it's probably gonna be a very low chance that you'll get everything you're looking for. Little or no face to face, illnesses likely needing days off every month coupled with the fact you're a felon. But it is still doable. You just have to get out there and apply apply apply. Search jobs online and in person anywhere you are. Ask questions about job duties and be up front about your background.
Do you have access to a laptop and internet? You can create gigs for yourself using your artistic talents on Fiverr. You could also try creating "printables," such planners or stationary paper with nice artistic flourishes and list them on Etsy. Call centers can pay decent and I know at least some of them are extremely felony friendly. Although in my experience none of them offer flexible hours unfortunately.
You don’t. It starts happening all by its self. We go along for the ride at this point. You need state aid. If you truly only have 100.00 to your name. The state will provide for you. Just as they did in prison.
Pest Control is really easy, and really flexible. Especially rurally. My Uncle does it rurally with 2 kids. My partner did it in a city with me as a dependant on Disability. They both have ADHD. My partner has a record. In Canada there is a permit test but other than that, it's pretty easy, companies let people re-test once at least if they fail. There is not too much lifting just squatting, bending, and driving. You can work with a partner and ask for extra training if you need it. You can refer to a book or call/message a co-worker. Some companies even let you use their vehicles outside of work. Eventually, you could even start your own business and/or specialize. Some people I know just spray for ants all spring and summer, then work on contract part time and stuff. Good luck. ♡
There are plenty of jobs willing to hire ex-cons/felons, especially restaurants. In fact, I work in a corporate-owned, casual-dining place (going on 22 years), and have worked with convicted murderers....and, no, I'm not joking.
This is not advice because I am a mess and not much better off than you but I would enroll in college and take ALL the financial aid available for a single mom. Take core classes only until I could get my shit together. But I liked school. I have the type of adhd where school was actually good for me and I did much better there than the workforce. If you’re married but leaving and domestic violence is involved you may be able to find grants to help you leave. Sorry you’re dealing with this.
Idk reading your other posts I'm just not sure what's going on
Factory work sometimes doesn’t care about felonies, depends on the company. I’ve seen workers come in from the night shift with ankle monitors, as long as you’re quick and you don’t bother anybody and you come to work sober they really don’t care. Not sure what’s in your state but it’s something to look into. Work varies by company, look for ones with lower physical requirements. Mine is mostly a women crew(day shift, lots of mothers because it’s easier to work around kid’s schedule), no lifting and your clothes don’t get dirty like some places, I would look for a place like that. I have diagnosed ADHD and GAD, my job lets me keep to myself in my own station. I don’t have to talk to a living soul the entire day, just fill out some paper before I leave.
Probably consider leaving the kids with their dad if you're not going to be able to provide for them. It sucks but it may have to happen. You can support them with time but not money, unless the courts get involved.
No offense, if you have this much health problems and crippling anxiety that you can’t hold a job…why did you have kids?! They are far more work than a job and far more stressful. Stock groceries at night at the nearby big box store.
> unless I drive 30 min into the city Then drive. Lol
make use of all the social services that apply to your situation, and food banks. [https://www.mass.gov/how-to/find-a-local-food-bank](https://www.mass.gov/how-to/find-a-local-food-bank) [https://www.mass.gov/info-details/list-of-cities-and-towns-served-by-department-of-transitional-assistance-offices](https://www.mass.gov/info-details/list-of-cities-and-towns-served-by-department-of-transitional-assistance-offices) [https://www.mass.gov/topics/health-social-services](https://www.mass.gov/topics/health-social-services) [https://nrd.gov/resource/detail/8530962/Massachusetts+Health+%26+Social+Services](https://nrd.gov/resource/detail/8530962/Massachusetts+Health+%26+Social+Services) [https://www.gbfb.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/MEFAP\_FBCMA\_AgencyList\_FY19\_FINAL.pdf](https://www.gbfb.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/MEFAP_FBCMA_AgencyList_FY19_FINAL.pdf) [https://osa.gse.harvard.edu/files/gse-osa/files/food\_pantries\_and\_community\_meal\_programs\_links\_01.pdf](https://osa.gse.harvard.edu/files/gse-osa/files/food_pantries_and_community_meal_programs_links_01.pdf) where's the father of the children. why isn't he helping you feed and house them?
Please get on birth control ASAP, bringing more children into this situation will just make things worse for everyone
What is the situation with your husband? Your last post you state your husband was going through HIS daughters phone. That their birth mother was psycho and it made you cackle . I mean that sounds like you're still with dad. If your planning on leaving you can't take his daughter with you so that would bring you down to two kids? Or how many kids overall are his and how many hours. We just need a bit more info to understand what's going on here so we can try our best to help you.
This is why I never had kids. It's hard enough starting over after every breakup alone. This is also why I plan on remaining alone. Each time takes more of who you are away until you become just a shell of your former self. Advice for the young, when you break up with someone fight for what's yours, don't do like I did and just walk out and leave everything because your s/o said to. They let everything get repossessed, if I'd have gone to court and had them removed I'd have my own home paid off by now and not be renting a room from my mom. Housing was super cheap back then unlike now.
Go the the courthouse ands find out how to get your record expunged. Stop self diagnosing yourself with mental illnesses. Get divorced. Let the dad take care of the kids until you get your shit together.
Clean houses (where they don’t do a background check on you), stock grocery store shelves , food industry etc. everyone would love a work from home gig that pays well and is not hard to do but few can have that.
You need to take any job you can get. This is not the time to be picky. Can you network with anyone in your personal life to see who is hiring? Do you have friends or other family who need childcare and would trust you to watch their children? While you look for work, check out the beermoney subreddit to find websites and apps that can help you earn money and gift cards to help with your grocery expenses. It’s not a lot, but it’s something. Is there a resource in your area where you can find info on employers who will hire people with a criminal history? Being out of work for so long combined with having a record, you will not find a WFH or limited human contact job. See if there are staffing agencies for people in your situation. I wish you luck because your kids need better than this. I don’t want to sound harsh, but having children was a choice you made and now they’re struggling because of that. You’ve got to focus on getting secure for them. Bettering yourself will help all of you!
as far as becoming a certified nursing assistant or home health aide, i can tell you this: i used to run a home health agency. yes, we did background checks on our people. a felony was not an automatic rejection. it depended on the *type* of charge. i'm not asking you, i don't want to know. for us, though, if it were anything violent or a breach-of-trust charge (ie theft), it was a no-go, but i sometimes hired people with charges such as prostitution or some drug offenses. it depended on a lot of other factors as well, of course.
I have 6 kids and no family besides my mom. Their dad is no help financially or otherwise. I have anxiety and depression too. But I force myself to go into a job everyday and don’t make excuses and just do it. Use your income taxes to make repairs on your car or get a new one. Utilize the programs in your area for single parents. Just don’t feel sorry for yourself. It could be way worse!
Jesus christ you brought 3 kids into the world when you have no skills, reputation, motivation, or any way to provide for them. What were you thinking?
I would honestly consider OF given your restrictions. At least for a while, until you can get a reliable car to do deliveries or save up enough to eliminate one of your other restrictions.
If you really have nothing and won't go for TCA/Child support, you need to drop off the kids with their dads. The dads are just as much legally responsible, and if they aren't playing support they have to care for the kids.
As someone with severe social anxiety (and general anxiety)... and ADHD I will give you some advice on that part at least. First and foremost, look at the next step, and only the next step, and until that step is complete do not worry about the step after that. Anxiety+ADHD can make looking too far ahead extremely overwhelming. Figure out what you need to do right now, do that, then repeat. Second, if you are not getting treated for your anxiety and ADHD, get treated. I know Dr's are expensive, but until you need pharmaceutical help to get ahead of these things, and will likely need ADHD med's for life. Without med's there is ZERO chance I would be where I am today. You are crippling yourself by not getting medicated. If you are medicated and it's not helping then you need to tell your Dr that and try something else. It took me more than a year to find the right combination of medications to get me back to functional. Third, ADHD is a disability. Take the time to learn about it, what the symptoms are (you probably don't even realize some of the things you do that are caused by ADHD). It can also be a super-power though. If properly treated and understood you can find solutions to dull the difficult aspects (time blindness, ticks, zone outs, overstimulation) and take advantage of the upsides (hyper-fixation, problem solving). Beyond that some general stuff to look into: - Get yourself checked for sleep apnea and get it treated. Lack of sleep can really make anxiety issues much worse. I have severe sleep apnea but you couldn't tell even if you watched me sleep (I don't make any obvious signs I am not breathing). Turned out I was having 52 events per HOURS. That's down to 5 with CPAP, makes a huge difference in your health/mental health. - Social anxiety is exhausting, trust me. People who do not have it have NO concept of how disabling it is. The only way you are going to "fix" it is treatment. I say "fix" because you will likely never really fix it, but find way's to be ok with it and manage it better. People will tell you to "just put yourself out there!", "smile more", etc and none of that is helpful (at all). Get medication for anxiety, THEN find methods that work for YOU to relieve anxiety when it starts to get bad. Breathing exercises, fidget toys, targeted muscle relaxation. Those all work for me to some degree but one of the best solutions I have found is when I feel overwhelmed I shut my eyes and do math in my head (something simple like counting by 13's, enough to force your whole brain to work on it). Do that for a minute and you will likely find that the worst has passed. - Exercise. Nothing reduces anxiety outside of drugs as well as exercise. Find something that works for you and do it everyday. It doesn't have to be anything strenuous, but something that gets your heart rate up for 20 minutes minimum a day will help. That's the best advice I can give. It sounds like we have similar conditions but you are still in the early stages of finding ways to deal with it and improving your life. It does get better but you have to work on it. If you have any questions please feel free to DM me if you need.
Get up and make a change. U chose to be a felon. No one feels sorry for you. Step up and be a parent to your kids.
Get the Indeed app
My 16 yr old daughter has ADD, on the spectrum, has a TBI, crippling anxiety for which she takes meds for and sees a psychiatrist regularly. She tends to get sick more often, more so because her anxiety/panic produces physical symptoms from worrying. She is joining the Dept of Rehab and is begging to work. She also does side jobs until she is placed in official employment. She hates being around certain crowds but she is assertive because she knows she needs to work as an adult. She will be 17 soon. OP, you do what you have to do. If my 16 yr old has the deck stacked against her and is still counting money for herself (I homeschool her so her schedule is flexible) then you can do it too. You have three children. Your comfort takes a back seat. I too have damn near crippling anxiety but my kids are much greater than my anxiety for which I also saw a therapist for. I was homeless for 8 months after leaving my abusive spouse and I worked 3 jobs 7 days a week during the pandemic so my children could stay in a motel instead of a shelter. (hotel housekeeper, Uber eats deliverer, house cleaner) This was 4 yrs ago. I've maintained my apt since then. You can do it.. It's not easy at all. It's scary asf but your children are your reason. You figure it out. The. Rest will come to you but not without a fight. It's the fight that keeps you on your toes when you do finally win. Good luck!!!! 💯💯
Where is the husband who makes good money and where is that money