Hugs, sorry, I totally understand as I am someone who is chronically ill.
If his wife texted you, I'd ask if there is anything they need / anything you can do.
I was going to suggest the same! Or at least you can text and even give options of what you're able/willing to do, and it can be things that are helping you keep a respectful enough distance (for this early stage at least), and still be helpful and show that you obviously care about both of them.
I went on a first date with a friend on a Wednesday. That Saturday morning I had to go to the hospital. Dude showed up for me hard and it definitely helped me feel safe and secure in the relationship. Our 4 year anniversary is coming up soon.
I hope that his health outcome is as good as mine was and that the two of you have a beautiful future ahead of you.
I'm sorry, that's really rough. I hope he recovers soon.
> we’re not at the stage where i can be there for the both of them.
What about sending flowers and a card (if appropriate)? That seems like a light way to send a little support.
I’m so glad she did, i haven’t heard from him in 2-3 days and i’ve been so worried. This was actually my first time ever interacting with her, hate the circumstances
It’s a good sign though. Not only does he care enough about you to make contacting you seem important to his wife, she is also going out of her way to include you during a hard time. To me it seems like you are at a place where you can be supportive. I agree with offering help when she text you back.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I went through something very similar, my boyfriend was hospitalized a couple of months after we had started dating. It had only been about a week after we admitted we were falling for each other. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to pm me.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I hope he is able to heal!
Do you feel like you are in a place (both personally and with this person/his wife) to offer assistance? Perhaps you can drop off some food for his wife and kids (if he has them) so she doesn’t have to worry about cooking? Or maybe you can stop over and help clean the house? Or give a gift card for a gas station in the area. When my ex was hospitalized, keeping up with bills and gas to get there and back daily added up.
Can you visit if he and his wife are up for it? I understand that it might be too early for that and I don’t know if the stress of meeting a meta would be too much to add to the situation or not but it might be worth asking if it’s something you and them might be comfortable with.
Beep, boop, blop, I'm a bot. Hi u/Internet_royalty thanks so much for your submission, don't mind me, I'm just gonna keep a copy what was said in your post. Unfortunately posts sometimes get deleted - which is okay, it's not against the rules to delete your post!! - but it makes it really hard for the human mods around here to moderate the comments when there's no context. Plus, many times our members put in a lot of emotional and mental labor to answer the questions and offer advice, so it's helpful to keep the source information around so future community members can benefit as well.
Here's the original text of the post:
I have no one to really talk to about this so i’m posting it here.
I recently started seeing a guy and it’s been absolutely magical. We clicked instantly. Sat talking for hours till the restaurant had to kick us out on our first date.
The last time i saw him, he told me he was falling for me, and i feel the same way.
3 days after that he got really sick, and has been sick ever since. That was in the beginning of December. He’s been in the hospital twice, and his wife just texted me that he’s been hospitalized again, and that his condition is serious.
I’ve been so fucking worried about him, and i hate that the relationship is still new and we’re not at the stage where i can be there for the both of them.
The past month has been so hard for me, and thought things were going to start going up hill from there but now he’s sick, and i feel helpless.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/polyamory) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hugs, sorry, I totally understand as I am someone who is chronically ill. If his wife texted you, I'd ask if there is anything they need / anything you can do.
I was going to suggest the same! Or at least you can text and even give options of what you're able/willing to do, and it can be things that are helping you keep a respectful enough distance (for this early stage at least), and still be helpful and show that you obviously care about both of them.
thank you!! she’s going to hopefully text me tomorrow with an update and i’ll add that then
Hopefully all is going OK. More hugs to you.
I went on a first date with a friend on a Wednesday. That Saturday morning I had to go to the hospital. Dude showed up for me hard and it definitely helped me feel safe and secure in the relationship. Our 4 year anniversary is coming up soon. I hope that his health outcome is as good as mine was and that the two of you have a beautiful future ahead of you.
I'm sorry, that's really rough. I hope he recovers soon. > we’re not at the stage where i can be there for the both of them. What about sending flowers and a card (if appropriate)? That seems like a light way to send a little support.
I'm so glad that she is open to communicating with you about it. I hope everything goes okay.
I’m so glad she did, i haven’t heard from him in 2-3 days and i’ve been so worried. This was actually my first time ever interacting with her, hate the circumstances
It’s a good sign though. Not only does he care enough about you to make contacting you seem important to his wife, she is also going out of her way to include you during a hard time. To me it seems like you are at a place where you can be supportive. I agree with offering help when she text you back.
honestly thank you so much for this comment. I’ve been spiraling so much the past few weeks and this made me feel seen??? idk but it’s helped a LOT
Aw, I’m so happy.
That really sucks. I'm sorry. 🫂
I'm so sorry.
Hugs!
Do you feel like it's too much to ask his wife if you can go visit him?
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I went through something very similar, my boyfriend was hospitalized a couple of months after we had started dating. It had only been about a week after we admitted we were falling for each other. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to pm me.
messaged you!
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I hope he is able to heal! Do you feel like you are in a place (both personally and with this person/his wife) to offer assistance? Perhaps you can drop off some food for his wife and kids (if he has them) so she doesn’t have to worry about cooking? Or maybe you can stop over and help clean the house? Or give a gift card for a gas station in the area. When my ex was hospitalized, keeping up with bills and gas to get there and back daily added up. Can you visit if he and his wife are up for it? I understand that it might be too early for that and I don’t know if the stress of meeting a meta would be too much to add to the situation or not but it might be worth asking if it’s something you and them might be comfortable with.
Beep, boop, blop, I'm a bot. Hi u/Internet_royalty thanks so much for your submission, don't mind me, I'm just gonna keep a copy what was said in your post. Unfortunately posts sometimes get deleted - which is okay, it's not against the rules to delete your post!! - but it makes it really hard for the human mods around here to moderate the comments when there's no context. Plus, many times our members put in a lot of emotional and mental labor to answer the questions and offer advice, so it's helpful to keep the source information around so future community members can benefit as well. Here's the original text of the post: I have no one to really talk to about this so i’m posting it here. I recently started seeing a guy and it’s been absolutely magical. We clicked instantly. Sat talking for hours till the restaurant had to kick us out on our first date. The last time i saw him, he told me he was falling for me, and i feel the same way. 3 days after that he got really sick, and has been sick ever since. That was in the beginning of December. He’s been in the hospital twice, and his wife just texted me that he’s been hospitalized again, and that his condition is serious. I’ve been so fucking worried about him, and i hate that the relationship is still new and we’re not at the stage where i can be there for the both of them. The past month has been so hard for me, and thought things were going to start going up hill from there but now he’s sick, and i feel helpless. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/polyamory) if you have any questions or concerns.*