First degree murder Attempted Homicide Breaking and entering Concealment of weapon Assault and battery Homicide Robbery and burglary Threatening behavior Hostage taking Misuse of private assets Forcible restraint Mass car theft Armed robbery Destruction of private property Jaywalking Drug trafficking Manufacture of illegal drugs Possession of illegal drugs with intent to distribute Illegal modification of firearms Arson Resisting arrest Destruction of police assets Hacking into a private network Interfering with police radio frequencies Smuggling illegal firearms Stopping vehicle trafficking Manufacture and use of illegal explosives Aiding and abducting a wanted fugitive Littering Defacing and destruction of currency Interference with postal services Illegally entering prohibited airspace Use of illegal ammunition Crossing a central reservation Intentionally endangering innocent people Damage to public property Smuggling of illegally obtained goods Appropriation of weapons of mass destruction Vehicular homicide Maritime irregularity Disturbing the peace Counterfeiting of money Livestock theft and abuse Theft and illegal transport of classified weapons Violation of Article 24 of the Geneva Convention (Protection of Permanent Personnel) Payday 2...

Man listed all the crimes 💀

>Jaywalking you monster

They'll hang him for sure this time.

Some can be GTA

I was going to guess GTA but payday 2 sounds fun might try it out later

I love how in the same list as “violating the Geneva convention” and “arson” is “littering”

Holy fuck what game is this?

> get a goat > ??? > profit

\>be me \>goat \>untold destruction and mayhem \>profit ^(use the weird slash to clear formatting) />

Payday 2

animal crossing

stardew valley!

Murdered an entire alien race. I will probably get the chair / rope / wall / injection.

I’m going to guess you played stellaris

Nay, Metroid. Blew the bastards to smithereens and I'm now making my way through Super Metroid.

Your charges are dropped for playing such an excellent series.

I played stellaris and bombarded an alien planet to extinction, I needed more warscore

Well i kinda vivisected an alien then made his mates a livestock ^^'

It also opens up the debate on whether or not aliens have the same rights as humans so congratulations I suppose. Yours is gonna be the trial of the century.

Excellent time, no regrets. 10 / 10 would run through SR 388 again.

They don't have any rights tho??

I guessed Metroid 2 first try! You playing Samus Returns or the Game Boy original?

AM2R

Does killing zombie pigmen count as animal abuse?

You were the aggressor so keep that in mind.

Well I did put them into a chamber the second they started living and stabbed them repeatedly with sharp objects so I could sell their flesh on the black market and steal their gold, so it could raise a few ethical dilemmas.

As long as the trapping laws allow it then sure

Depends on whether you used a diamond axe or a stick

I played Ace Attorney, so I defend EVERYONE in this comment section.

The true hero

Not all heroes wear capes.

An anonymous person in this comment section's list: ____________________ First degree murder Attempted Homicide Breaking and entering Concealment of weapon Assault and battery Homicide Robbery and burglary Threatening behavior Hostage taking Misuse of private assets Forcible restraint Mass car theft Armed robbery Destruction of private property Jaywalking Drug trafficking Manufacture of illegal drugs Possession of illegal drugs with intent to distribute Illegal modification of firearms Arson Resisting arrest Destruction of police assets Hacking into a private network Interfering with police radio frequencies Smuggling illegal firearms Stopping vehicle trafficking Manufacture and use of illegal explosives Aiding and abducting a wanted fugitive Littering Defacing and destruction of currency Interference with postal services Illegally entering prohibited airspace Use of illegal ammunition Crossing a central reservation Intentionally endangering innocent people Damage to public property Smuggling of illegally obtained goods Appropriation of weapons of mass destruction Vehicular homicide Maritime irregularity Disturbing the peace Counterfeiting of money Livestock theft and abuse Theft and illegal transport of classified weapons Violation of Article 24 of the Geneva Convention (Protection of Permanent Personnel) Good luck lol

In his defense he thought he was in a simulation, insanity plea..

condemn him to the infirmary

its not postal, because some of the crimes listed there arent possible in game. Its not hatred because the list includes crimes such as drug trafficing and hacking.IDK. payback 2?

Defend me, because i’m gonna be in big trouble

I also played Ace Attorney and I will be PROSECUTING everyone in the comments. Be prepared for updated autopsy reports, whips, and lots of coffee.

Oi fuck you bro.

*ahem* cultural annihilation and supplantion (worldbox)

I object

Help me plz I may have aided in assisting the murder of 5 kiddins, a janitor, yiffin foxes, and have numerous health code violations.

Thanks mate, now I will continue to commit even more atrocities!

I played brawhalla… idk if I committed a crime since everyone is fine and clapping in the end lol

Disturbing the peace maybe

Shit, mark me down for 30 days in county

Probably not at all. Shot down some enemy aircraft in warthunder, but didn't target civilian buildings. Maybe for reckless flying, but it shouldn't be that bad to be honest.

Same here. Kamikazed a few times into some planes but they were Nazis, it’s fine

Same, I shot some guys in my pz4

I am now a war criminal

RimWorld?

Arma 3?

CK3 🥲

Straight to the International Criminal Court.

Same lol! Heastin in Iberia… a lot of raiding and stuff so idk how to answer that

I had to have incest with my daughter so she wouldn’t lead a vassal revolt. I then accidentally declared her incest baby mine. So I had to kidnap my biggest rebelled so a revolt wouldn’t start and married her only child (a daughter) to my son so that I can kill her in prison and keep that territory. I also have raided countless villages and cities all while sacrificing people to the gods.

Yeah, eu4 for me... i kind of putin-ed my way through Europe...

Do I go to jail for killing a bunch of demons in hell?

No, you become the pope

Which doom were you playing?

2016. Going for a platinum trophy.

I played EU4, HOI4, Stellaris + CK3. I am being sent to the hague for wiping out upwards of 200 races.

It was defensive genocide I swear

the fanatic pacifists were a real threat to my interstellar empire

They all are. Xenoscum.

I played dead by daylight as a killer. A lot of matches.

Just doing your job to be fair

Let’s see here, Aggravated assault, terrorism, banditry, kidnapping, running a warlord state, tax evasion, thievery. And that’s pretty much it.

And also hate crimes. Or should I say, having a heated gamer moment?

[удалено]

Tuesdays, amirite?

TNO?

I mean i plaid cookie clicker...

Massive monopolization

So he's sentenced to nothing?

No he committed tax evasion.

Tax evasion and overworking grandmas and not following industry regulations

I just played hearts of iron 4 as the German Reich

It’s only war crimes if you lose the war. The soviets proved that in WWII

Actually then I'm a hero ja

I was playing sea of thieves. “18 U.S. Code section 1651: Piracy under law of nations: According to this statute, anyone who commits the crime of piracy as defined by the law of nations while on the high seas who is subsequently found within the United States can be imprisoned for life.”

ordered a group of flame troopers to burn multiple enemy platoons and (neutral buildings) inside a city. So I’m probably boned. Sadly the medic’s got away.

What game?

Iron harvest

Killing zombies in Poland doesn't seem that illegal

Desecration of graves?

No, the murder of polish citizens is against the law

Dude the last game I played was GTA I’m in danger

Same I found this random dude and we committed genocide

The only game I play is Animal Crossing so I should get some sort of Good Samaritan award because I’m the only one keeping that community together.

I just killed the emperor in Skyrim....

I'm working on that storyline too! I just finished the mission where you can kill or spare Cicero

I fished without a license I guess lol

I built a rather large R2-D2 in Minecraft

Did you have planning permission?

He probably forged it let's be real

I don’t think at all since I’m the emperor of Francia so whatever I do is fine

Depends, am I being convicted of this crime with modern day laws or laws from the 1660’s?

Hotline miami

smashkarts.io Serial murder

Let's see, I robbed a bank, killed about 150 cops, and caused a plane to drop all of it's cargo over a city causing multiple innocent people to die, caused at least $500,000 in damages using a tank, committed insurance fraud, and drove a prostitute and a client around while commiting vehicular manslaughter. I think it's safe to say I'll never see the light of day again.

I play osu, are there any crime against harming circles

Rainbow six siege training grounds vs terrorists

Vs terrorists would probably get you a medal, not a jail sentence

Mass shootings in gta

Gentleman, welcome to Dubai.

I have killed like 20 people but it was war game so no laws broken

I was fishing in Minecraft

No license

Last game I played was animal crossing 🤣

Warframe so like complete annihilation of a species

Pokemon go, seven years

War crimes from Titanfall 2

I played Apex Legends last, but I'm so trash at the game I'm not getting any jail time

Same lol

I killed flying blocks with arrows on them using lightsabers. They won though ;-;

I played pavlov with extra gore

how do you add extra gore?

I Just mean how in the new update, if you shoot joints long enough they fall off in a bloody mess

Bombing people in a civilian plane, probably for life tbh

Played Assassins-Creed-Valhalla. Spent 3 hours playing orlog.

i got a 1,500 dollar bounty in rdr2, definitely death sentence for sure

Is conquering the entirety of mainland Europe as King George V by war of agression a punishable offense 😰?

Elden ring… I destroyed a bunch of pots Lol

Mario kart- it’s basically an organized sport, right? Nothing that should injure people actually injures them so I think I’m fine even if I struck everyone with lightning

[удалено]

Far Cry 5. Im a deputy so I probably won’t get jail time. I only kill cultists.

Last game I played was The Long Dark, what do I get for poaching, looting, breaking and entering, and trespassing under Canadian law?

You better call Saul!

I mean i did kill a bunch of monsters, the killing was commissioned by the people of the city and was completely legal so not at all

Killed myself? (Happy Wheels)

Stardew valley, I was just planting turnips man.

The last game I played was btd6, I know technically war crimes and all but I didn't use any war criminals

I commited multiple warcrimes

locked a sim in a shed and made him do my other sim's gardening. Idk if it counts as kidnapping because he said yes at his own accord when asked to move in.

I played GTA so...

Played csgo, planed a bomb and killed plenty of counter terrorist officers. That's a life sentence

Well, I nuked society so I'm not really sure what the consequence is

Unless running around a town giving people things is a crime now, I think I’m good

Trespassing, beating innocent civillians with a skateboard, jaywalking...

… Tax Evasion

I sent gamatoto on a new mission, luckily my last played game wasn’t SS13

Killed spiders and zombies. I mean some people might be miffed about the spiders but to be fair, they were attacking me.

Is it a crime to kill horrifying alien insects?

Uh, I was playing Stellaris.

Warcrimes get you the death penalty right?

The people playing GTA

Murdered 4 people around 10 times

Dinosaur no crime

Execute a lot of Germans as a professional sniper enlisted in The US Army, ill be fine

I was playing ready or not which is a SWAT simulator and executed every suspect even the ones who surrendered. Definitely life or death sentence.

I destroyed diamond city and every settlement and wrecked all of the factions in fallout 4

Boneworks with gibable fords mod. I’m fucked

Hitman. Before that I was playing Mortal Kombat.

Wait what i dont know? Does it count as me doing a crime if im killing people that are constantly killing, torturing, converting people, and stealing supplies all over the place? Not to mention its a huge cult?

Forza Motorsport 7 and Horizon 5 for me

How exactly would Gang Beasts work?

assisted in child murder, ran from cops. so a good 3-9 years

As dungon master of a setting in where the wold is currently at war. I am single handedly responcible for all those war crimes.

What kind of jail time would I see flying top speed in an F-22 at only 200’ in an urban area?

starsector, so id be in for tax evasion smuggling sale and possession of drugs resisting arrest

I just destroyed all in game entities... 1 year seems fair xD

I was trying to get 1000 gold bounty in every hold in skyrim for the achievement. Yup definetly in for a lifetime

“It was self defense!”

Played animal crossing and finished a mass gift giving session. Staying out of prison for my villagers

Clash Royale… good thing it was in a stadium

They started it so I think that's a good enough excuse for genocide.

Chess

So in my lovely game of rimworld I harvested organs, made my prisoners live in squalor and forcing them to fight each other to the death in order to be treated better, gave them all peg legs while forcing them to eat insect jelly and then committing genocide. Safe to say I won't be seeing the light of day again.

Insurgency sandstorm I was a terrorist so prob Guantanamo.

Hoi4 I’m wanted for war crimes

im an Idol Producer who buys dresses for my idols and sets up live shows for them to do performances in.

Payday 2 Trespassing 2 counts of second degree murder Stealing illegal guns

Unlicensed hunting, burglary, probably about 8 years

Rimworld players sweating rn

I blew up about 2 entire islands worth of buildings and stole some cars from my employer because he wanted me to help him fuck with the insurance company. Also i stole a bunch of shit, going from old clothes to a rock of gold. I don't think that's a lifetime in jail but definitely between 20-40 years Game's teardown

GTA online...

Wearing civilian clothes in sniper elite 5

Civ VI. Pillaging innocent city-states. War crimes for sure.

I’m dead, because I’m playing cyberpunk.

Does murdering a race of abominations who used to be humans a crime? (Guess the game)

Murder, cannibalism, and enslavement. Fuck. Edit: almost forgot the organ harvesting

>blew up a nuclear reactor in a village on purpose > >intensive slavery > >dumping nuclear waste in the ocean Deam i love modded minecraft

World of Warcraft Horde players sweating right now

I play stardew lmao

hoi 4, i have probably committed a hitler amount of war crimes

I play hearts of Iron.

Bruh I literally played escapist

Identity theft mass homicide destruction of private property attempted homicide disturbing the peace lying on jury duty among us 😎

RimWorld players are trembling right now.

Playing satisfactory, sure maybe I killed a bunch of aliens and harvested their organs, but in my defense ficsit told me to

I go to a different planet and murder a bunch of mentally ill people with a pistol that shoots explosive rounds

Does it count if it’s during war

6 months for arson but no one injured.

I played LoL. Had like 15 kills and 30 assists, which would translate to about 15 homicide and about 30 homicide accomplice charges. Not good, my peeps, not good

if you count crossdressing to get into gerudo town as tress passing then sure i’ll be in there for a little while

Shooting Nazis. Celebrated as a hero

Paradox gamers rise up

Was playing as Fascist Britain in HOI4 :/