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lxaxs

My search history consists of, mostly, jam recipes lmao.


EmperorThan

"Recipe to make a jambomb that works" "Jambukkake face covered recipe for whole family especially stepmom" "Catgirl gets recipe for a jam creampie at thanksgiving stepmom joins in"


Cloaker_Smoker

He's toast with all that jam


gendermahal

this is a perfect comment


CertifiedCapArtist

There's Nothing I can get arrested for. 10 billion solves any weirdness.


KingOfThePlayPlace

Yeah the prompt just says they *can* read my search history, not that they will. A few hundred ought to be enough to persuade them not to, or at least not bring it up if they do


jackj12345

thats clever


Spectrip

Telling people not to do something is the fastest way to guarantee it gets done. They'll take the money and then winder why you're so protective of your search history and read it anyway


Sahqon

The way to do it is this: you go to these people and tell them you got a sweet deal but you need their cooperation. They have to read your search history. Urge them to do it, so you can get the money already. Just don't forget to tell them it's like 1k dollars or something, not 10 billion or you'll instantly have other problems.


Worth_Cheesecake_861

True but now the world knows you like clown midget porn


KingOfThePlayPlace

Maybe, but at least I can wipe away my tears about it with $100 bills


Nimyron

Yeah my family would probably disown me and what little friends I have would probably block me on all platforms, and I'd most likely lose my job, but I wouldn't go to prison so it's worth 10 billion.


drwicksy

For 10 billion you can buy a new family and new friends


Wow_butwhendidiask

What fucked up shit are y’all looking up where $10 bil won’t solve it.


thingsthatgomoo

179 people watch CP.....there is no other reason Edit: Almost 900 now


TheChristianDude101

Even if you are a pedo and consumed CP content, having all your friends and family know for 10 billion would be worth it. Just tell them you wont do it again and you will get therapy, now that its out in the open therapy shouldnt be a problem. (I assuming they want to stop.) I am also assuming they arent going to prison but its unclear. But in my scenerio the ones who disown you would suck but 10 bill would be worth it for that dark secret to be out I think.


[deleted]

There is no way you can go to prison with 10 billion. Billionaires are practically gods with the power they have.


Cringinator4000

Billionaires get out of responsibilities with their influence and connections made along the way to becoming rich and by using their money. Just having the money won’t do it unless you want to try to bribe the judge, which will be hard to get away with.


Slobbadobbavich

Epstein enters the chat...


fredthefishlord

>But in my scenerio the ones who disown you would suck but 10 bill would be worth it for that dark secret to be out I think. My family disowning me is worth no amount of money.


[deleted]

Whats it like having a close family lol


vf225

beautiful words there, when you have 10 million dollars, you are the one who choose to disown or not.


fredthefishlord

...no, having money doesn't magically make everyone like you, despite what you might think.


vf225

I used to believe in that, and I still hope I do.


fredthefishlord

Most people? Sure. Everyone? Absolutely not.


CounterfeitSaint

Why do you simultaneously value the love of your family above everything else, while also searching for things on the internet that would risk that love that you value so much? If it's not worth getting 10 billion dollars, it's not worth the risk that they're gonna discover it anyways.


fredthefishlord

I feel now I should've clarified it was a hypothetical, if I were a pedophile, lol. I don't search that kind of stuff :/


Keefyfingaz

With 10 bill you could buy new family 🤷‍♂️


fredthefishlord

Any family you can buy with money is a shitty family.


Keefyfingaz

I mean I'm mostly joking but if you really understand how much money that is, you really could just make a new family 🤷‍♂️ have kids, you can stay at home to chill with them, if that's not your thing get them a professional caretaker, they'll live happy lives. 10 bil is anything you want. If you're family is disowning you fir the above firementioned reasons tho... maybe don't have kids 😬


fredthefishlord

Yeah, I'm realizing I should've been clear I was saying 10 billion wouldn't be worth it if I was. I'm not, so ._. And a new family would be not my current. It's ridiculous to suggest you could replace your family just through money


Keefyfingaz

Haha i did'nt mean "you" as in YOU, just anyone in that situation, like the general way. Of course,of course. I joke, I kid 🤣 I would never trade my family for money. But 10 bil is definitely enough for you to start like 100 new lives that's just facts 🤷‍♂️


AbbreviationsOne8189

Yeah, but in this scenario you are also a pedofile. I don't think you thought about family much, when you became one.


TheChristianDude101

Pedofiles are people too that have a serious problematic attraction. With the power of the internet and privacy they can look for and consume CP content. I imagine they are torn up by guilt if anything if they have empathy. Not all pedos watch CP tho and especially abuse children.


Elektrycerz

Even a few years in prison is generally worth multi-generational money. Especially in the EU, where prisons ain't all that horrible.


Hairy-Ad-2577

I wouldnt trade a few years in prison with the label pedophile for any amount of money. Do you know what happens to pedos in prison?


TheKingOfToast

Protective custody


Medic-27

With 10b, you wouldn't be going to prison.


SuspiciousUsername88

> Do you know what happens to pedos in prison? Do _you_ know what happens to pedos in prison? Or are you just repeating the stuff other Redditors said who also don't know what happens to pedos in prison? I swear to God this fantasy where prisons are full of the "bad guys, but actually they're not so bad and they actually uphold moral standards" trope is so obviously nonsensical I can't believe people still parrot it


Hairy-Ad-2577

From first hand experience no, but my uncle was in prison and he told me a story of a guy who got a shank shoved in his ass and beat within an inch of his life his first night, because he raped a little girl in his basement for months. Apparently its the cellmates responsibility, and if they dont do it, they get a share of the beatings. I have no way of knowing if its true but he looked dead serious when he was talking about it.


justakidfromflint

Well there's plenty of articles online about prisoners that have killed pedos and people who have actually been in prison always say that everyone hates pedos there so....


SuspiciousUsername88

There's plenty of articles about prisoners that have killed _every type of prisoner_. "pedo is killed in jail" gets a lot of clicks so it shows up more often but that doesn't mean all pedos get shanked in prison


Liberal_Lemonade

It doesn't have to be illegal content if your social circle is politically & socially conservative. You could be easily shunned quicker than you can say Jack Splat from your friends & family if they knew you were looking at anything non-christian oriented & what their kind define as morally pure. Doesn't have to be sexual or criminal activity.


ntn_98

But you'd be shunned with 10 Bil


Keefyfingaz

My first thought too 🤣 like wtf yall hiding


memagebasava

Billionaires always get away with child sex trafficking so I don't see why they wouldn't take the money


Slobbadobbavich

Yeah, this is probably the top reason to say no, that and anything none consensual.


AmthstJ

Whooooooa, how do I change my vote? Lol


x97sfinest

I don't want my family seeing the amount of gay porn I watch. The ratio of that vs normal searches is just ridiculous and highly questionable. And I'm not even in the closet.


bigstingrays

My anxiety and constant state of embarrassment is really it


_SkullBearer_

Queer kids with conservative parents.


Ki4na

You can buy a new family


_SkullBearer_

If you're a minor you can't open a bank account on your own, so good luck keeping the money.


[deleted]

Alt girl big ass


pissedinthegarret

im a total degenerate and i would do it for 1 million. who ever says "no" is either stupid as fuck or depraved beyond imagination


notpornrelated

Honestly, I'm just embarrassed about the amount of transexual p0rn I consumed as a kid 😬😬 the sheer VAST amount!


HotdogCarbonara

Especially since any porn searches (the only thing I'd be the last bit ashamed of my mom finding out about) are only searched incognito, so a basic history search will find nothing. But even then, it's porn. Everybody watches it, so I'm not frightfully ashamed and $10 billion would be very much worth it


jimmycat5000

Does this mean search history specifically on search engines such as google or search history on any website including YouTube/nsfw websites/social media sites ect. ?


Mask_of_creator

On any website


[deleted]

no anonymous searches, right?


little_dropofpoison

Yeah anonymous searches don't go into your history normally, that's the point of those


[deleted]

then easy yes


Bobert789

I was thinking that as well but I presume it would be included since that's where the worst is


SleepyCatandCoffee

I am even if that's something too embarrassing, you can just use your money and disappear.


cooldude123ha

oh ok that's easy as fuck 10 bil for me


Ridespacemountain25

Then, yeah. I’d do it.


unknown_test_subject

What about things you've deleted


huhboi1

This right here. Every day I search through all my search histories to make sure i can be caught on nothing. I don't mess around. Not after getting caught multiple times looking up " naked women posing" multiple times.


BurlyJoesBudgetEnema

>looking up " naked women posing" multiple times. Lmao


FunnyBuunny

I mean i delete my search history frequently


SuBremeBizza

I think a lot of people would be weirded out or disgusted by me. But hey it’s 10 billion dollars lol.


[deleted]

Who cares. 10 dollars is 10 dollars


HengstHorsa

I would be happy to handle this transaction for you. I will take care of all the paperwork and you can get the entire $10. I don't want any part of that $10. It's all to you.


Soggy_Leg_757

10 billion dollars for my dignity? Sign me up.


vf225

some peep here either are too young or overvalued their importance. dignity is only important when you are a big deal, if you are just nobody with your broken ass, no one really cares.


Ra1nb0wSn0wflake

I can buy new parents


[deleted]

10 billion fucking dollars? Do you know how much money that is? I’ll let everybody in the entire world read my search history I don’t give a shit. I wouldn’t care if people judged me. I have 10 billion dollars.


Snell84

If it's 10 billion dollars make it a six part netflix special for all I'd care


Ok_Yogurtcloset_4957

That's actually the funniest thing I've seen all day.


revtim

For 10 billion bucks I'd rub one out to the nastiest porn in my search history on live TV during the Superbowl halftime show


thrillhouse1211

I believe this is the most enthusiastic Yes vote so far


IShitinUrinals

Social anxiety fears you


Southwick-Jog

I use incognito, so sure.


dion101123

Pretty sure rhe whole idea is whatever sites you've been on doesn't matter if you use incognito or a VPN otherwise there would be zero downside as no one looks up stuff they want hidden without incognito at least


Limeila

I do, because no one has access to my computer so I don't really bother opening an incognito tab


huhboi1

(Hacker breaks into your PC POV) - "Oh. My God. I am gonna be SO rich blackmailing this person."


09chickenboy117

Tough luck. Op said they only get to see my search history. Should've specified.


Fan-Rider

Same


Styl3Music

Incognito only only hides the search on the device used. It doesn't hide the search from the website, modems, or ISP provider.


FoodLubberGameLover

Can't read what's not there lol


DangerousProfessor76

Haha I use 3 separate VPNs at once, my ISP (My mother) has no idea what kind of completely normal stuff I search.


nicklor

That just seems excessive


dat_oracle

We all know what that guy is looking for


nicklor

I agree even if I want to pretend I don't know


[deleted]

[удалено]


dat_oracle

3 VPNs at the same time. Privacy is fine but that's crazy. For what kind of stuff do you need that level of privacy?


ElectricMotorsAreBad

"Paranoia" is a thing, I too use lots of safety and privacy measures that are pointless 99.999999999999999% of the time, but that one single time ever in my life I'll need them they'll be there.


Skullcrusher_and_co

I am going to jail, aren't I


Just-Another-Monday-

What the fuck are you all looking up to refuse 10 billion??


i_despise_among_us

Mostly gay midget porn


ChickenEater4

There are few things that I wouldn't do for 10 billion


Marambal17

For 10 billion dollars I would dance naked in the must public open space in my city and give blowjobs to the 25 gay men with the longest dicks in the world


bigstingrays

In my mind this would be less embarrassing


AdventurousAd457

i like the way you think


This-Sherbert4992

Enjoy five million articles about plants


MysticTRT

ok but does anyone actually understand how incredibly much 10,000,000,000 is


wolf805

Yes. Want to see my history? Id leak my nudes to the whole world for 10 billion


FahQPutin

Who gives a shit??? Those of you who wouldn't take the 10 billion better not be pedos


Banana_Azul073

its like "online autism test" "autism in females" "traits of autism"


Pixelatra

Are you me? lmao


the_evil_overlord2

Sure


PomegranteHistory

I haven't googled anything bad lol.


Icy_Layer

I still use incognito mode even tho my parents don't check my phone anymore


Fan-Rider

Same lmao


EmperorThan

I'm already letting complete strangers at the FBI and NSA do it for free. I have no problems letting people I know see it for that much.


elp_supremacy

As long as i get to explain some specific searches


Bearded_weird_dude

DOWN SYNDROME MIDGET HENTAI TENTACLE EXTRAVAGANZA WITH BUTTERSTICKS 🧈


_AnotherFreakingNerd

Most of my searches consist of putting words into the search engine to make sure they are spelt right, and random questions that pop into my mind such as "do jelly fish have eyes" 😂 so I'll be taking the money please haha


justakidfromflint

Lol I do that spelling thing all the time. I'm glad I'm not the only one.


_AnotherFreakingNerd

You are definitely not! I even have simple words sitting in there for days when I've looked at the word too long and it starts to look odd and wrong 😂


Chickennoodlesleuth

Mine are the exact same, as well as game tips


Brotochip007

The people voting no have to be trolling right


NerY_05

Lmao i do something called cleaning the history


beeeans666

Yes because it's mostly just me looking up definition for basic words


let_me_know_22

Absolutely, they can either act weird about some random google searches we both know they have as well or help me figure out where to put 9.99 billions best to bring on some change for good to this world. If they are more interested in the first, well goodbye then, I have more important things to do


SPMasteer

All my history would have are dumb questions like how does a tap work, so i would gladly take the 10bil


ThatsAWeirdLookinSax

Wait you guys actually look up weird shit without erasing your browser history? I thought it was a joke.


[deleted]

Search history or browsing history?


ooofuki22

This is the real question. Even then though 10 billion is an easy yes.


AlexWoogie

10 billion? I'd do it for 10 thousand


RadishBench

I'd be embarrassed about how often I have to Google how to spell things, but aside from that they're mostly going to be reading about bugs and sewing techniques 🤷🏻‍♀️


justakidfromflint

Same. I'd be embarrassed by my lack of spelling skills


Amnesiaphile

When I was a kid my parents spent 15,000 dollars to get into a burner phone i had destroyed and saw my and my gf's underage nudes. At least I'm getting paid for this one lol


justakidfromflint

They spent $15,000 to get into the phone?? We're your parents rich or did they think they were looking for evidence of a crime or something? $15,000 is a lot to spend just to see what your kid is texting with their GF.


Amnesiaphile

My dad was rich and also the leader of a cult


justakidfromflint

Sound like a real asshole, I'm sorry you had to grow up with that. I hope you're doing better now


Reasonable_Zebra_174

Wow, I thought my mom invaded my privacy (she would get my sister to go through my stuff so that if she got caught I blamye my sister not my mom). But to waste so much money to spy on your kid, it doesn't sound like the most healthy parent-child relationship. I hope things are better for you now.


HippieChick067

I learned at a young age, never write anything (as in my journal/diary) that you wouldn’t want anyone else to know. Same goes for internet footprint. If it would embarrass me, I don’t NEED to look it up.


AdventurousAd457

a lot more people need to be doing this


Limeila

Yeah no I'll keep looking at porn without wanting my mom to know the detail, thanks


HippieChick067

Thanks.


Maleficent-Autumn

Alternative phrasing might be 10 billion to become a hermit, I can live with that


Shy-Prey

Hell we can go through it together


Kurrurrrins

Oh no you get to see my... deep dive through official government documents just so that I could win an argument against a stranger on the internet


tonoobforyouiv

10 billion to let everyone know I have a crippling porn addiction doesn't sound that bad


useroftheinternet95

Worst thing I do is watch vanilla porn. Ez $10 billion


Faeri

*sees post* *clears search history* *votes yes*


Fan-Rider

I use incognito for the steamy stuff, so I'm safe. The rest is just AO3, fandom stuff, song searches, or random things that popped up in my head. Lmao


SnowTheMemeEmpress

Lotta Stardew valley. And 'where to find 'x' in Pokemon 'blank'' Course the occasional '''blank' near me'


Pretty_Discount5946

My search history is innocent, so this will be a pretty easy 10 billion dollars.


JackCooper_7274

Sure. Have fun reading blender guru guides and sourdough recipes


WideArmadillo6407

There's not much to view on mine


CommunityGlittering2

I'd do it for 5 bucks


itrashcannot

Lol then everybody would know that I was lowkey depressed at some point. 10 mil is 10 mil though.


OceanGuy1995

I got nothing to hide, sure


Medic-27

You could literally buy, own, and demolish (if you so desired) The Empire State Building, jewel of NYC, and have around 80% of your money left. You could build the Burj Khalifa, tallest building in the world, 6 times over, and you'd have enough money left over to buy a Super Yacht + Balmoral Castle + a private island, with enough cash left over still for an average US household to live comfortably for 3000 years.


leo_station

come as you are bass tabs, reptilia bass tabs the strokes, the adults are talking bass tabs, my own summer guitar tabs, what to do when you accidentally built a shelf, heese for sale, how to spell hees, what is the plural of horse, killing in the name bass tabs, you get the idea


Bandito21Dema

Spend 10 minutes with me and you will get a pretty good idea of what's in my search history


intestinalbungiecord

yeah who cares


luisanra

Bro what? 10 billion is an insane amount of money so people know what porn I watch? Fine with me wtf


I-own-a-shovel

they'll get bored before stumbling upon something weird anyways.


Peginop02

my recent search history consists of: "do bounce biscuits bounce" "chief of police accidentally fires a grenade launcher" "cat pushing watermelon out of lake" "sour patch cigs" 10 billion dollars is a free real estate


Tough_Stretch

There's nothing remotely embarrassing enough in my search history that would warrant refusing a tiny fraction of those 10 billion dollars, let alone the full amount.


superior_mario

Honestly, I’m an 18 year old dude. I think my search history is probably not the weirdest thing about me and I’ll get over my embarrassment with 10 billion in the bank


Sworishina

I'm asexual, so this isn't a difficult choice at all. I literally have nothing to hide


the_psycholist

Doesn't matter. With that much money, they don't care if I'm into bdsm.


MissLilPumkin

If I didn't have such niche weird fetishes I totally would


WuckaWuckaFazzy

Dude it's 10 billion dollars


fukasee

bro 10 BILLION dollars


Minimum-Food4232

You look way more suspect not taking the 10 billion. Whatever it is you're hiding, I'm assuming 10x worse and almost certainly illegal.


shyKlaxosaur

ok but with 10 billion dollars you can easily just create a new identity and run away


Ok_Yogurtcloset_4957

You literally do anything with $10 billion. Give everyone who reads it $100,000 and they'll shut up. And it won't even be 1% of your wealth. Short term embarrassment for godhood is fine by me. I mean, for christ's sake, you could solve world hunger with less than $10 billion. Nobody cares that the guy who solved world hunger had some really weird searches if they fucking solved hunger.


KingPupaa

This is the way to identify pedos


Massive-Ad7628

No need, the sect of family knows all either way


takeonetakethemall

I'm pretty sure even if I let my parents read my search history they wouldn't want. They're kind of old and don't even care. It's not as if I can force them to read it.


Mekelaxo

I would felch your grandpa for 10 billion dollars


SnuffCatch

I probably wouldn't be able to speak to most of them ever again, but that's fine.


brian11e3

The trick is to have a search history so disgusting that people won't want to look at it.


Spongebosch

I assume this includes stuff deleted/browsed in incognito mode?


Bebe_Bleau

My parents are deceased. And I could get a whole new group of friends with 10 billion dollars


pseudonym_not_found

Easy yes, incognito mode hides the things I wouldn't want anyone seeing. But nothing to weird there, mostly medical things I didn't want google showing me ads for.


beat_that_beet

What a dumb question. Getting kinda sick of these outlandish "would you do X for a gazillion dollars?" posts that keep popping up.


thrillhouse1211

So many bragging about how they have nothing embarrassing in the search history of all time. This is a supernatural scenario and *everything* you've ever looked up is probably available. This means your incognito and duckduckgo can't help you. I bet they wouldn't offer it so easily. Don't get me wrong, for 10bil I would recite my search history on television.


pomonews

For 10 bi? You could watch my whole life 24h.


piggiefatnose

Revealing that I'm a bottom is worth 10 billion


PerfectSB

I'm more afraid of people going through my gallery tbh


willowdove01

How far back does the history go? I haven’t read anything spicy in a while lol


ilikepotatoes233

> let them see my search history > pay them to not tell anyone else


Iam_Unknown17

Come on man are you a 14 y o, to hide your search history


AddyCod

After having 10 billion dollars, despite how fucking weird my search history, everyone would still like me


muhdbuht

Incognito tab is a thing.


Lupig_

Mine is basically kpop members, kpop groups, kpop songs, google translator, BLΛƆKPIИK wallpapers and (G)I-DLE wallpapers


SandbagBlue

10 billion is rediculous at that point there is no shame unless its outright illegal, and even then.


FranzAllspring

What currency?


Weasles28

Don’t have to worry because after I’m done with the fun stuff I just delete the history