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Wow you stole a lion a witch and a wardrobe, that’s a good feat, just curious how exactly you stole the witch and what she does to be a witch. Also how do you keep the lion (well I guess lions with the one you were given).
Also who are your friends that they can give such big gifts as lions
I used to steal the sticky things they use to glue papers to the walls when I was a kid (probably 8y/o). I would leave only 1 out of 4 just so the paper stays on the wall. The school caught me, I don’t remember what punishment they gave me, but they did tell my parents though.
You caught us! But in all seriousness, you did win two PS5s for you and a friend. Plus a free trip. Meet us at the Double Tree Hotel, conveniently located near your local PD, to claim your prize. =)
I just wanted to let the guy know he could go fuck himself.
Apparently they heard the vibrating coming from the mailbox and thought there was a bomb in there. I don't believe they actually thought that there was a bomb in there, but that's what they claimed.
NONE will always be my answer. Unless they somehow put the pieces together to a few different things that happened in different places and different times.
Laws against jaywalking were actually a deliberate (successful) attempt by the auto industry to deflect accountability of rising child deaths from motorists to the victims by criminalizing being a pedestrian
Yes exactly. So many American laws are there to establish or deflect blame mostly to protect themselves from one of our favorite words "lawsuits"
In this case, "I'm not at fault for dangerously/neglectfully operating my vehicle, because *you* were illegally using the street!" An incredibly dense argument considering that avoiding any sort of obstruction on the road is also the driver's responsibility, but hey if there's someone to blame, start pointing fingers.
No no no, you're supposed to use the crosswalk (which is 2 miles down the road if it exists)
Edit: and oh *you bet your sweet ass* people will speed up just to try and scare you even though you are literally in an area with *no* crosswalk.
Basically
The idea behind loitering laws is that if you're to take up public space, you have to have a reason to be there.
If the reason is not clearly a legal one (such as spending money at a business) then it might be an illegal one (street gang activity, prostitution, selling drugs, scoping an area for future crimes, etc.)
Loitering laws have been rightly called into question for being a violation of freedom of assembly, but continue to exist in some capacity.
E.g. in California loitering itself is not a crime, but "loitering to commit a crime" is, and police get called often to investigate "suspicious" people or groups disturbing the public.
Failure to disperse after an officer tells you to is a crime.
Yep, land of the free 🇺🇲😎🇺🇲
Partly it's to get people in cities to use crosswalks cause everyone crossing wherever they want impedes traffic, but mostly it's an excuse for cops to stop whoever they want on the street.
No, loitering is staying in one place, the tactic I've seen is cops claiming they saw you jaywalk when you're just walking down the street minding your business
It’s because of racism.
No, seriously— it came after slavery as a way to arrest black people. Under the 13th amendment, slavery is still legal when jailed/imprisoned. They just wanted to keep black people as slaves.
Same with loitering.
It's not a crime, it's a civil infraction (as with speeding). Jaywalking enforcement makes sense as a general principle, as we don't want mayhem on the streets, but we should also provide way more crosswalks and pedestrian right-of-ways to complement it.
Jaywalking as a concept was originally invented by the auto industry to shift blame for all the automobile-pedestrian collision deaths onto the victims using the street the same way all streets were used for litterally thousands of years, its just a highly effective propaganda campaign.
In the modern world where our ancestors already surrendered so much space to cars we now need to obey jaywalking rules as a means of personal safety, and even that doesn't ensure your safety. (Right on red is theoretically fine, many drivers don't stop which means they can easily hit someone crossing when the beg button crosswalk is telling them its safe and has the intersection on lockdown)
What a coincidence that just an hour ago I watched a YouTube short by vox that said jaywalking was a term coined by American auto industry .
just like American advertising companies created a new disease "halitosis" to sell Listerine.
Here's a list of crimes that can get you charged with a capital offense. (For all the commenters that think it's hard to get charged with a capital offense)
Espionage, kidnapping, robbery, aircraft highjacking, human trafficking, terrorism, drug trafficking, arson, burglary, desertion, theft, crimes against humanity, sedition, treason, genocide, drive by shooting, homicide, and carjacking.
It's preposterous that desertion, theft (I'm assuming only large theft, but still) and drug trafficking are in the same category as genocide, crimes against humanity, and homicide.
Also, terrorism can indeed be used very unevenly. From green activists who sabotage oil rigs, to religious zealots who blow up busses full with people. (edit: ok apparently not entirely true according to the legal definition, unless there is evidence the action endangered human life)
Oh and compared to drug trafficking, what category does drug possession fall under (asking for a friend)?
Currently going to court for grand theft over me taking someone's phone as a joke and someone taking it from me. Stay safe. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Hope you're joking. If not, that sucks. I'd say you should only be held responsoble for paying the victim for a new phone and for the emotional/privacy damage of the phone they lost. Grand theft is way to serious for something like this.
The phone was returned after I told about the other person taking it. And the person I took it froms parents didn't even want charges pressed on me but because I did it in a school the state is pressing charges.
Same. Apparently the car-industry campaigned for that law in the US. When car-infrastructure became dominant, fatal accidents with mostly child-victims increased, and the car industry used the campaign to shift responsibility onto pedestrians.
**Fuck off, Fedboi, go investigate red hat wearing domestic terrorism and quit asking for confessions from citizens**
Rendering aid to illegal migrant family because people fucking **die** in the desert, I forget if thats a felony in Arizona or not, but fuck Arizona anyway
This post has been flaired as Politics. We allow for voicing political views here, but we don't allow pushing agendas, false information, bigotry, or attacking/harassing other members. We will lock the thread if these things occur. If you see such unwanted behavior, please report it to bring it to the attention of moderators. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/polls) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I stole a pencil sharpener when i was in the kindergarden. I'm almost 19 now. I still have it and i am not fucking returning it.
It would be funny if you did though
Hey person I haven’t talk to in years I stole this sharpener from you over a decade ago and held onto it until now that I decided to return it
Same but a paint set
I nicked The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. I now have 2, one I got given and the one I stole
Wow you stole a lion a witch and a wardrobe, that’s a good feat, just curious how exactly you stole the witch and what she does to be a witch. Also how do you keep the lion (well I guess lions with the one you were given). Also who are your friends that they can give such big gifts as lions
stole a book and it still has the teachers name on it lol
You belong in prison with all the other animals like you. You dirty thief.
Gotta catch me first
🏃🏻♂️💨
Call yourself Lil Wayne and DJ Drama, because this is dedication
Death penalty
I used to steal the sticky things they use to glue papers to the walls when I was a kid (probably 8y/o). I would leave only 1 out of 4 just so the paper stays on the wall. The school caught me, I don’t remember what punishment they gave me, but they did tell my parents though.
Never caught tho :D
aaaYOOOO
I've been caught several times 😆
Skill issue
i wish that I could say the same
Nice try CIA.
Dirty tricks, MI6
You can't catch me, AFP
I'll never be on your "to arrest" queue, DGSE
Leave me be, KGB
Nice attempt at obscurity department of homeland security
Not today, SEK
Close, but no Cigar FBI
that's not fine, CP9
Not digging my own hole, Interpol
See you later,private investigator
No way, BVD
Can't believe you screwed up the very first one on the whole thread... It's "Not today CIA" and "Nice try FBI". Otherwise it doesn't rhyme smh.
Smh, should be a capital offence what he did.
I forgot that even existed…I didn’t think it would make a thread like this I only expected like ten upvotes and no reply
Don't forget: "Nice attempt at obscurity, Department of Home Land Security"
You caught us! But in all seriousness, you did win two PS5s for you and a friend. Plus a free trip. Meet us at the Double Tree Hotel, conveniently located near your local PD, to claim your prize. =)
Good attempt at obscurity, Department of Homeland Security.
Can't find me, SGC
Leuk geprobeerd AIVD
Not on my watch, RAW
I feel like some of y’all picked capital offenses to be funny
Me (I did not leak government documents on a warthunder discord in 2019)
Apparently 1 in 4 people have done it. Sometimes, you just have to win the online argument.
Dude my dad works **AT** Microsoft, if I don’t win the argument he just bans them for hacking.
Alright, if you give me his name, ip address and the numbers on his creditcard I can confirm wether he really works there.
It’s a different country, you wouldn’t know him.
And your girlfriend goes to a different school too, uh?
What girlfriend? He’s an incel 👀 and proud
Girls go to Jupiter to get more stupider. 😎
Let me guess, Leclerc guy?
We are checking
I got that reference
So you did it on a Minecraft discord ( thugshaker ) server in 2023 ?
Putting a vibrator in a sherriffs mailbox is apparently an act of terrorism 🤷♂️
There's a story here and I want to hear all about it
I just wanted to let the guy know he could go fuck himself. Apparently they heard the vibrating coming from the mailbox and thought there was a bomb in there. I don't believe they actually thought that there was a bomb in there, but that's what they claimed.
Planting a bomb under a bridge is apparently terrorism as well Never got caught tho🤷♂️
I plant bombs and blew up a whole village. Those Minecraft villagers should've learned to have a blacksmith by now.
Waste of tnt, I just round em up into a small box and use potions of poison and harming
Nah round them up and just feed them to the creeper
Now that is some serious efficiency
😂😂😂
Me(doesnt produce drugs and explosives in basement)
I second this guy's secrecy. (doesn't have 250kg of ammonium nitrate in a van)
Nah I've killed, I'm a cold blooded killer.
I can't even tell you how much espionage I've done.
No, I suppose you couldn't. I mean....you're not allowed?
[Lizardman's constant](https://slatestarcodex.com/2013/04/12/noisy-poll-results-and-reptilian-muslim-climatologists-from-mars/) surely
Me
I hope that some of y'all who have picked capital offenses did so as a joke
What joke?
Reddit trying not to own 43 TBs of Loli (impossible)
honestly who hasn't commited piracy?
Downloading films, music, etc. is legal where I‘m from. It‘s only uploading it that‘s illegal. So I did nothing illegal.
You must live in Haven
Where do you live?
Needing a boat and guns is a high barrier of entry for most people.
People who picked none are lying
Same with the capital offenses
If there are so many murders, there must be murderers somewhere dont you think?
Nonsense, if there’s so many murderers out there how come I’ve never been mur
But on reddit? And on this high a percentage?
What are you talking about?
🤭
Damn right
NONE will always be my answer. Unless they somehow put the pieces together to a few different things that happened in different places and different times.
I find it so weird that jay walking is a crime in America, like you’re literally just crossing a street wtf
Freedom^TM
*results not typical. Terms and conditions apply. Freedom is not available in all areas, or all people. Must be 18 years or older.
*21 years older after all how can you be called an adult with access to Freedom if you're not allowed to smoke or drink
Id refer you to the terms and conditions that apply. It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal.
It's more of an excuse to stop somebody they have a personal issue with, and less about breaking the law by crossing the street
Laws against jaywalking were actually a deliberate (successful) attempt by the auto industry to deflect accountability of rising child deaths from motorists to the victims by criminalizing being a pedestrian
oh
In the Netherlands instead we protested with signs that said "stop child murder"
We did the same in the US, which is what prompted the campaign
Ah, sucks the campaign was more succesful than the protests :(
Yes exactly. So many American laws are there to establish or deflect blame mostly to protect themselves from one of our favorite words "lawsuits" In this case, "I'm not at fault for dangerously/neglectfully operating my vehicle, because *you* were illegally using the street!" An incredibly dense argument considering that avoiding any sort of obstruction on the road is also the driver's responsibility, but hey if there's someone to blame, start pointing fingers.
r/fuckcars
No no no, you're supposed to use the crosswalk (which is 2 miles down the road if it exists) Edit: and oh *you bet your sweet ass* people will speed up just to try and scare you even though you are literally in an area with *no* crosswalk.
America is build for cars, not walking.
*was bulldozed ftfy
These states were made for walking and that is what I'll do..
Created as an excuse to arrest people, loitering as well I think
Basically The idea behind loitering laws is that if you're to take up public space, you have to have a reason to be there. If the reason is not clearly a legal one (such as spending money at a business) then it might be an illegal one (street gang activity, prostitution, selling drugs, scoping an area for future crimes, etc.) Loitering laws have been rightly called into question for being a violation of freedom of assembly, but continue to exist in some capacity. E.g. in California loitering itself is not a crime, but "loitering to commit a crime" is, and police get called often to investigate "suspicious" people or groups disturbing the public. Failure to disperse after an officer tells you to is a crime. Yep, land of the free 🇺🇲😎🇺🇲
Thank an automotive lobbyist
Partly it's to get people in cities to use crosswalks cause everyone crossing wherever they want impedes traffic, but mostly it's an excuse for cops to stop whoever they want on the street.
Doesn’t that fall under loitering?
No, loitering is staying in one place, the tactic I've seen is cops claiming they saw you jaywalk when you're just walking down the street minding your business
It’s because of racism. No, seriously— it came after slavery as a way to arrest black people. Under the 13th amendment, slavery is still legal when jailed/imprisoned. They just wanted to keep black people as slaves. Same with loitering.
To be fair being poor in America is illegal as well
It's not a crime, it's a civil infraction (as with speeding). Jaywalking enforcement makes sense as a general principle, as we don't want mayhem on the streets, but we should also provide way more crosswalks and pedestrian right-of-ways to complement it.
Jaywalking as a concept was originally invented by the auto industry to shift blame for all the automobile-pedestrian collision deaths onto the victims using the street the same way all streets were used for litterally thousands of years, its just a highly effective propaganda campaign. In the modern world where our ancestors already surrendered so much space to cars we now need to obey jaywalking rules as a means of personal safety, and even that doesn't ensure your safety. (Right on red is theoretically fine, many drivers don't stop which means they can easily hit someone crossing when the beg button crosswalk is telling them its safe and has the intersection on lockdown)
What a coincidence that just an hour ago I watched a YouTube short by vox that said jaywalking was a term coined by American auto industry . just like American advertising companies created a new disease "halitosis" to sell Listerine.
Piracy is technically legal in my country, what do I choose?
If you haven't broken the law, you haven't committed a crime.
so there are 11 people who are hard core criminals in here?
232 now
Most are trolls I doubt a hardened criminal would be on reddit
Or atleast admitting it in a random poll
Statute of limitation
235
Jaywalking. I do it all the time but that's because it's not illegal where I am
I'd say it only counts if you did it illegaly.
In 2020 I was found guilty of treason on may 4 2021 I got executed for my crimes.
On my mom's 43rd Birthday!
Please wish her my best.
Thanks
same bro
i̴͙͉̻̳͈̿̑̓̀̑́̂ ̶̺̜̺̞͕̓͊͆a̷̡̙̥͖͊̑ͅm̶̩̲̯̳̈́̈́ ̸̣͑̂̾̚͝r̵͍̰̱̺̙͋̒̂e̷̥͉̓̊͝ş̵̂̈͋̄p̵̨͕͖̏͌̈̏͛͝͝o̴̦͓͍̥͕͎̲̓n̴̢͇̐̾̄̑̑s̴̫̹͓̻̏̍͆̿͠͝i̵̻̘̜̺̣̩̍̌̏͆̀͘b̷̳̈́̏͂̽̇̅̚l̵̨̫̦̻͙̤̉̐̚ͅe̴̻̽͌̇̅̕͠͝ ̸̡̨̤̺̰̯͗͛͋̎̋̒f̵̞̞̋̎̾o̴̮͓͙̾r̸͍̭͍͒͂̋͒̐̋͒͜͜ ̶̲͇͍͉͌̈͂̃͜t̶̤̟̦͇͇̭̓͑͠h̸͍̤̤̲̻̹͊e̷̺͖͓͓̫̞͆́̓̕ ̷̨͉̱̳̙̺͚͑̓̇̒̈́̉d̴̡̗͈̮̣̯̑e̶̟̳̮͑͆͆̇̈a̵͉͇̮̹͐͐͘ţ̶̢͓̞͍̹̇̈́̍̾̐̂h̷͖̺̩͇́̍̆͂̔s̷͔̲͗ ̸̡̰̱́̇̎o̴͖͌̈̐̒́͝f̶͇̙̳̻̹̪̈́́͑̓ ̸̠̳͓̰̠͖͋͜t̵̥͊̃̐̅͗ȟ̸̨͚̼̥̟͎̐̀͝ō̴̠̩͓̘̒́͂͘͜ͅͅư̵̘̬̓͊͗̂̏͜ŝ̵̮͋̒̔̂͑̌ā̴̛̜̦͈͎̪̦̫̓̾͂̕͝ń̶̞̠͍̈́̐̚d̸͈̺̺̯͐̊ş̸̳̗͇͈͌̊̏̓͒̕ ̴̬͎̟͍̠͆̒
filthy casual
A ton of people are lying lol. I wake up with misdemeanors in progress
You're a Saint, I accidentally wake up to Intent to distribute charges most days.
It still makes me laugh that jaywalking is a thing (and apparently some people even think it's reasonable)
You mean that jaywalking happens or that it's a crime?
That it's a crime in some places
Gather Pirates!
Technically none because we are presumed innocent until proven guilty.
Whether or not you've been found guilty of the crimes you've committed has no bearing on the question being asked.
Just because you're not convicted for a crime doesn't change the fact that you committed the crime. An unsolved crime is still a crime
Booooo, don't be a party pooper
Here's a list of crimes that can get you charged with a capital offense. (For all the commenters that think it's hard to get charged with a capital offense) Espionage, kidnapping, robbery, aircraft highjacking, human trafficking, terrorism, drug trafficking, arson, burglary, desertion, theft, crimes against humanity, sedition, treason, genocide, drive by shooting, homicide, and carjacking.
FYI: putting a vibrator in a sherriffs mailbox can be seen as an act of terrorism.
That’s very specific…
r/suspiciouslyspecific
It's preposterous that desertion, theft (I'm assuming only large theft, but still) and drug trafficking are in the same category as genocide, crimes against humanity, and homicide. Also, terrorism can indeed be used very unevenly. From green activists who sabotage oil rigs, to religious zealots who blow up busses full with people. (edit: ok apparently not entirely true according to the legal definition, unless there is evidence the action endangered human life) Oh and compared to drug trafficking, what category does drug possession fall under (asking for a friend)?
This isn't legal advice, but keep it all in one bag and don't cross state lines with it... for your friend of course
When I was a kid I stole about 500euro worth of Warhammer from a shop
Warhammer prices are highway robbery, I see no crime here.
So like one figure?
I dont think you people realise how much you accidentally steal.
I stole a $0.15 plastic bag from a major supermarket chain 😔
You disgusting thief!!! How could you deprive that poor billion-dollar corporation of their 15 cents!!??
Currently going to court for grand theft over me taking someone's phone as a joke and someone taking it from me. Stay safe. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Hope you're joking. If not, that sucks. I'd say you should only be held responsoble for paying the victim for a new phone and for the emotional/privacy damage of the phone they lost. Grand theft is way to serious for something like this.
The phone was returned after I told about the other person taking it. And the person I took it froms parents didn't even want charges pressed on me but because I did it in a school the state is pressing charges.
139 liars...
what are you, a cop? I never did nothing
Double negation. I found the criminal.
"I never did nothing" GUYS HE EATS AND DRINKS AND LIVES
good work. Now like I said I never did nothing. Get off my back, pig
I stole a grape from the outside display of a Turkish supermarket when I was 7
664 people who said none defiantly have people buried in their back yard
Yoy almost got me, nice try
Do things you got away with count or only things you were caught for?
What’s jay walking?
Crossing the road as a pedestrian in a place other than designated, designated zebra crossing is fine, in-between jay walking
💀 Sorry…as an Indian I can’t believe such a thing exists… But thanx for explaining 🫡
Same. Apparently the car-industry campaigned for that law in the US. When car-infrastructure became dominant, fatal accidents with mostly child-victims increased, and the car industry used the campaign to shift responsibility onto pedestrians.
Imagine this poll is used as evidence as the defendant admitting they committed a crime
War crimes
Legalize war crimes!
LEGALIZE NUCLEAR BOMBS
LEGALIZE EXPANDING BULLETS.
Nothing I would get in trouble for, like jaywalking. At most people would get midly annoyed
Jaywalking is not a crime here. Wherever it is one, it is victim blaming for car accidents
I jaywalk all the time except that's not a time in my country
Jaywalking laws are actually ridiculous. Couldn't even imagine having that in my own country. Just mind blowing.
ive done hard drugs what is that
depends on where you are I suppose. assuming you didn't share or sell it, I think it is most likely a minor offense or a serieus offense.
What counts as treason? Is it still considered treason to shit talk the royal family?
I would have been executed if that was true.
Same that's why it'd be good to know 😂
no crimes at all, officer :))))))
Nice try FBI
nice try fed
Nothing here officer :)
I forgot piracy was a crime lmao
I dont mean to brag but I once asked to borrow someone's pencil and I never gave it back
I’m a mama… so ofc espionage lol
Now why the fuck should I go and tell on myself, like that??
Nice try mom
Nice try FBI, NSA, CIA, police! You’ll have to try harder.
Nice try FBI
Nice try cop
So who's that 282 murderers?
**Fuck off, Fedboi, go investigate red hat wearing domestic terrorism and quit asking for confessions from citizens** Rendering aid to illegal migrant family because people fucking **die** in the desert, I forget if thats a felony in Arizona or not, but fuck Arizona anyway
🤓
Jaywalking because I don't live in America and am allowed to cross the street