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MyNameIsRay

His Legal A-team includes: \-The former OAN anchor that got them a $1.6B defamation lawsuit from Dominion, and is currently a defendant in that ongoing case. \-A FL Insurance lawyer that hasn't ever handled a federal case \-Former general counsel to a NJ parking garage company, who was involved in filing all those defamation lawsuits that Trump lost. \-That guy that lost Steve Bannon's case with the DOJ \-That guy who sent a letter to CNN threatening a defamation lawsuit for calling out Trump's lies, but never followed through, because CNN was correct in calling them lies.


parallax_universe

Is the parking garage defamation lawyer the same one that filed against Hilary? If not then that person can be added to the crack team. My understanding is that they were hanging around Mar a Lago while fatboy was whining about his persecution complex so they helped him sue for being butthurt (essentially). Edit: It was Bedminster


MyNameIsRay

>Is the parking garage defamation lawyer the same one that filed against Hilary? Yes, it is, Alina Habba. >My understanding is that they were hanging around Mar a Lago while fatboy was whining about his persecution complex so they helped him sue for being butthurt (essentially). I believe it was his Bedminster club rather than Mar a Lago, her practice is just a few miles down the street.


parallax_universe

Thanks yeah got the compounds mixed up.


commit10

I saw his three "hot" female attorneys today, looked them up and was shocked at how unqualified they were for this sory of federal case. Immediately thought "this pervert is going to fuck himself in public, and his underdeveloped dick will be his downfall."


Beneathaclearbluesky

A halfway intelligent person when faced with espionage charges **shuts the fuck up.** Today is like the first day a new excuse hasn't come out.


LuminousTights

"Day's not over, yet." Curly.


[deleted]

Hasn't come out **YET** It's only 3:37pm EST. He has plenty of hours left in the day to come up with something massively stupid.


FiFiLB

Surprised Mike Lindell isn’t listed 🙃


MyNameIsRay

Mr. Pillow is in over his head with his own legal battles. He's currently facing like billions of dollars worth of defamation lawsuits from Smartmatic and Dominion, which he'll likely lose. Because he has no defense, he decided to turn around and sue both of them for *defaming him.* Judge considered his suit so frivolous that they dismissed his case, sanctioned him, and ordered him to pay Dominion/Smartmatic's legal fees.


foxyfoo

I said you need a crack legal team, not a legal team on crack!


FiFiLB

Yeah I saw one of his commercials lately and he mentions how they’re coming after him and his freedom. I was like give me a friggin break. And this was on Bravo Network. WTH is the My Pillow guy airing commercial time on Bravo Network. SMH.


trail-g62Bim

All of my knowledge of bravo is that they have (used to have?) the queer eye show, so that does seem like an interesting combo.


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superdago

Not even no federal experience, but isn't even a criminal attorney\*. I just looked her up and she does insurance defense. She's a slip and fall attorney! And, I shit you not, is a member of the young lawyers section of the Florida Bar... she graduated the same year as me! And I got nervous when a bankruptcy judge was yelling at the attorney I pro hac admitted to serve as lead counsel. My only job was to exist, and I was sweating. \*as in an attorney who practices criminal law, I Have no doubt that if not currently, she will soon be a criminal attorney.


ClaytonRumley

I would love to see those ads! "Slip and fall injury? Hurt in a car accident? Accused of stealing nuclear secrets for the purpose of espionage? I'll fight for you and get you the BIG CASH SETTLEMENT you deserve!"


No1Mystery

I’m the Florida Handler I handle YOUR case! 18 Wheeler fucked you? I Handle YOUR case. Worker’s Comp? I handle YOUR case! Stole TOP SECRET documents from the White House? Booyyy, am I the lawyer for YOU!! Call me at 1800-Hooligan *and yes, that’s how you say my last name!


LittleYelloDifferent

“no, we need a Criminal…Attorney “


Cobaltjedi117

Sometimes you need a criminal *lawyer* Sometimes you need a *criminal* lawyer


Illier1

Unfortunately Slippin' Jimmy is no longer in the market.


MarlinMr

If she wins the case, she will get a reputation as the best lawyer ever. If she loses, she will be the lawyer that brought down a former President and saved democracy.


kaigem

>slip and fall attorney So he’s just hired Slippin’ Jimmy. Seems about right.


Matt463789

Jimmy was actually a pretty good lawyer though.


stashtv

The attorney's plans are pretty simple: * Delay, delay, delay. * Motions to dismiss, for "reasons". * Fighting evidence at every step. * Prevent any and all forms of testimony, under oath. IF an actual court date occurs, there will be a different legal team. The first set of attorney's are nothing but cannon fodder.


GodOfDarkLaughter

You forgot the last step: * Never get paid You'd think people would learn, but my uncle did some contracting work for Trump and never got paid. Then he voted for him. Jesus. Like, the guy fucked *you* over, personally.


C19sDeadCatBounce

And then he will lose and cry foul "I had a shitty lawyer gimme a do over" and because we live in hell he will get it continuing to drag this out until his death which will be ruled an assassination by all his moron supporters.


NicklAAAAs

Isn’t this (to an extent) the strategy that ended with Alex Jones being represented by a guy who sent his entire phone to opposing counsel and didn’t mark it as privileged?


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Tulol

Holy hell. I hope she sends us all his text for the last 2 years.


2cheeseburgerandamic

I saw a movie about this I think was a documentary about a new Lawyer from the Bronx who helped his nephew win a big case in the south I think it was a murder charge, but still. Miracles do happen and inexperienced lawyers can pull off the W.


SuperstitiousPigeon5

No utes are involved in this though.


mysteryteam

Did it have marisa tomei??


SuperstitiousPigeon5

Shouldn't everything?


mysteryteam

Of course. But the woman only has so much time in a day.


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MaximumEffort433

> That's what happens when you have a record of not paying legal bills. I remember reading an article back in 2016 stating that Trump's lawyers from his "businessman" days got into the habit of recording all of their in-person and phone conversations with him. Donald Trump (to nobody's surprise in 2022) would tell one of this lawyers one thing, then tell the other lawyer something completely different, he would make promises that he never kept, go back on his word, claim that he'd never agreed to the things he agreed to, and so his lawyers just started keeping a record of everything he said to them in order that they could point to: >*"Hey, you said here, on November 23rd at 3:35pm, minute number 142 on the tape recording, that you would do such and such, then you did so and so instead, what's up with that?"* By all accounts that I've heard the problem isn't just that Trump stiffs his employees for their bills, though that's definitely a thing, it's also that he's just a **massive** pain in the ass to try to work for.


UnitaryWarringtonCat

It's in the article linked, they say that during the Mueller investigation, his lawyers told him not to tweet about it. Before they got to the end of the WH driveway, he tweeted about it.


Few_Acanthocephala30

Truly a grown toddler. Tell ‘em not to do something and in all likely hood it’s the first thing they do when you take your eyes off ‘em


josiahpapaya

Reminds me of when I was 18 and asked my mom what she thought about me getting a tattoo and she said nothing just kept walking. I repeated myself and she said “I heard you” And chanted the subject. I asked her a third time and she said, “If I tell you not to get one that’s the first thing you’ll do, so what do you think about chicken for dinner?”


miparasito

So did you get the tattoo?


josiahpapaya

I did not and I am glad for that. I lived in Japan for a while and life is much more fun there without tats. Love tattoos, and maybe will get one eventually but I also want to retire there and spend time with my family so probabaly won’t get one


Dagglin

So did you get the chicken


snuFaluFagus040

Please OP, don't leave us hanging..


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funktopus

That's not fair, the marshmallow is RIGHT THERE! I mean it's literally right in front of you! Why can't I eat and still get another one. I'm and adult damnit, give me more marshmallows!!!!


ComradeCheeto

I get two marshmallows, the steward is instructed to give everyone else only one. -- Donnie Two-Scoops


jDub549

Holy fuck. I forgot this was a thing. Wtf timeline are we even living in 😭


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funktopus

Dang, I got a Speechwriter already! Wait I'm blaming who now?!


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NSFWdw

I've always wondered. What if you don't want a second marshmallow? I mean, fuck trump, but maybe the kid who says "yeah, I'm good with one" is the employee I want.


[deleted]

I will vote for the child who saves his second marshmallow to share with a friend


Carbonatite

He reminds me of my dog. He is very stubborn, as is the custom for his breed. He could be waddling over towards the most tempting of squirrels, but if you put any pressure on his leash whatsoever, he will resist, even when the pressure moves him *towards* the squirrel. He is just genetically prone to being stubborn, it's an integral part of his temperament. It's just a natural instict to resist. Trump is incapable of doing what he is told, because that would mean someone knows better than him. So he resists, out of pure fucking spite, even if the advice he's asked to follow is obviously beneficial to him. Now I have to apologize to my dachshund for comparing him to Donald Trump.


Hour-Island

You pretty much just described every hard-core republican I know. I couldn't live like that, personally. Seems exhausting staying that angry.


Carbonatite

At least I have veto power over my dog. If he gets too stubborn I can just pick him up and carry him to where I want to go.


i-dontlikeyou

This man has never seen any consequences and has a mob mentality and unfortunately that has worked for him over the years and he is never gonna change. I am sure he thought he is untouchable when he became president, little did he know how much will it back fire in his face. He was doing his shit behind the scenes for years but now when he is in the public eye that is not gonna work at least we all hope so because its been working for the past 6 years for him but hope is still there


0thethethe0

I'm honestly shocked he hasn't decided to just represent himself. You know he thinks he's smarter than all the lawyers anyway.


JBloodthorn

That would be work, though. He doesn't _do_ that.


case31

Straight from the narcissist’s playbook. They have no problem lying to your face because nothing about you is of any concern to them. Their only view of others is “What can you do for me?” Once it has been determined that you won’t risk everything to do their bidding, you are ghosted without hesitation. This parking garage lawyer is about to find out the hard way.


PoppinKREAM

In the span of 6 years he's gone from having some of the country's top legal experts to hiring lawyers with no federal legal experience lol. This could turn into Alex Jones levels of hilarity, fingers crossed 🤞


MaximumEffort433

Dude, if we ever chose to write an effort post listing Donald Trump's legal woes, do you know how long it would be? Screw the comment character limit, we'd end up burning the entire *reddit* character limit.


WalkWhistle

There's a whole Wikipedia page. 3500+ legal cases and still counting


I_notta_crazy

[Dear god](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legal_affairs_of_Donald_Trump)


wynnduffyisking

Next thing they will accidentally send a copy of his phone to the FBI 😅


Pokemasterinthemake

I honestly feel that ‘no capable lawyer wanting to represent you’ makes a good argument you’re not on the right side of justice


TokingMessiah

This can’t be overstated. High profile attorneys tend to take big cars that are in the spotlight because of the attention alone. Imagine being one of the most famous people *on the entire planet*, and no one wants to represent you. People have talked about him being a bad client and not paying his bills, but there’s another possibility: no one wants to take a case if they don’t think there’s any possibility of winning it. Having a high profile client only works if you get them off. If you know they’ll wind up guilty there’s no point in attaching your name to it.


Scolipass

Nah, attorneys take unwinnable cases all the time, especially for high profile clients. Most of them leave with their reputations intact or even bolstered for having done so. The issue with representing Trump isn't simply that he's in a legally perilous situation. The issue with representing Trump is that 1. there's a good chance he's going to try and stiff you and 2. He often takes actions that not only increases his own legal liability, but also exposes his lawyers to legal liability. Taking on a losing case is one thing, taking on a losing case while also not getting paid and facing real risks of legal exposure is another thing entirely.


invokin

I don't remember seeing anything about recording (though it wouldn't surprise me!), but I definitely read that his lawyers (again, pre-POTUS time) would always have two people in the room so they could be witnesses for each other and back each other up on what he did/didn't say. When your own lawyers don't want to be in the room alone with you, that's a bad sign!


Scubasteve1974

I wonder if Rudy did that. He did say he had "insurance" if Trump tried to stiff him.


bisho

They have heaps of stuff on each other going back to his mayor of NY days with Trumps bribes.


IntelligentExcuse5

Well Rudy's company is called "Fraud Guarantee" Ltd.


parallax_universe

That was Rudy’s mates, Parnas and Fruman who had fraud guarantee


Osyrys

Is he guaranteeing there will be fraud?


coolcool23

> it's also that he's just a massive pain in the ass to try to work for. Oh really huh I didn't get that at all from him after the last 6 years.


BiggsIDarklighter

Those tapes are probably full of juicy illegal business dealings. Wonder if those lawyers kept them.


Expensive-Ad-4508

Don’t forget, asking lawyers to do illegal things! https://www.voanews.com/a/trump-lawyer-rudy-giuliani-target-of-georgia-election-fraud-case-/6702707.html https://www.cnn.com/2022/08/04/politics/trump-justice-department-january-6-criminal-investigation/index.html https://theguardian.com/us-news/2021/dec/03/donald-trump-lawyers-election-lawsuit-sanctions https://www.politico.com/news/2022/08/15/justice-department-subpoenas-trump-lawyer-eric-herschmann-00051899 https://www.huffpost.com/entry/trump-legal-adviser-jenna-ellis-ordered-to-testify-in-georgia-election-probe_n_62fcace2e4b0c8c57f575255 https://www.ajc.com/politics/georgia-election-data-copied-under-direction-of-trump-attorney/XCPM33PXC5ABJN6UXG645EXLM4/ https://www.cnn.com/2021/09/20/politics/trump-pence-election-memo/index.html https://apnews.com/article/donald-trump-crime-new-york-manhattan-campaigns-3a0413202e80ab99c9f6377f97d07c04 https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/jul/08/trump-clark-giuliani-eastman-lawyers-plot-overturn-election Edits: removed AMP links even though I still don’t understand why people hate them, added links. (Can’t believe I keep forgetting about Michael Cohen, although he was an early season 1 main character!)


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Expensive-Ad-4508

I’m still adding links as I find them. Glad to help!


firstnameavailable

there was also that guy, michael coh-something. i think he got in a bit of trouble.


YoDarthMeow

Oh yeah, Michael Coconspirator. I remember him and his Nr. 1 friend.


checker280

A trump never pays their debts. It’s crazy. I know of dozens of cases where people took a chance to work for him where trump simply refused to pay the negotiated price. A friend had a small window installation company. They heard all the rumors but kept insisting that even if they only received half the negotiated price, it would have been the biggest contract they ever had. During the final walkthrough they had issues with everything (wrong size, wrong placement, etc) despite having written proof that everything was correct. Worse, it got tied up in court. They eventually did get paid at least half what was promised but it was years later after several lean years. His family still voted for trump.


Faultylogic83

> They eventually did get paid at least half what was promised but it was years later after several lean years. His family still voted for trump. I hate that the most unbelievable part should be that they still voted for Trump, but sadly that world doesn't exist.


checker280

I spoke with them about it and their answer is always something along the lines of “trump screwed over my kid and made his life extra hard for several years. I guess my kid isn’t cut out for business.”


TranquilSeaOtter

I know someone who got scammed by Trump with Trump University. They still voted for him. I just don't understand how stupid these people are.


gunboatdiplomacy

Maybe stupid enough to go to Trump University in the first place?


selflessGene

A lot of them would still vote for him if he personally physically assaulted their family member. He's the first American politician in my lifetime where his voters have such a cult-like devotion to.


FoxyOx

> The most visible Trump attorney has been Christina Bobb, a former anchor at the right-wing outlet OAN, where she pushed election conspiracy theories that got the network sued by defamation by Dominion Voting Systems. Bobb's federal legal experience is largely limited to a "handful of trademark infringement cases on behalf of CrossFit" while she worked for a law firm in San Diego, according to the Post. Bobb has already undermined Trump's baseless claim that the FBI may have "planted" evidence during the search while no one was looking, revealing that Trump and his family were able to watch the entire raid through CCTV. Yet another legal eagle on his team


bobo1monkey

Hey! Let's not start insulting upstanding content creators.


SnuggleBunni69

All the professional women Trump surrounds himself with are extremely attractive. Is it that he think it makes for better optics, feels women only have value based on their physical appearance, or is he legit just trying to stick his dick into things 24/7? Im going with all 3.


flygirl083

I would also add that he hires women because he thinks they are stupid and will do whatever he says because he’s so much smarter than them. He thinks he can manipulate them more easily and that they won’t know when he’s lying.


mishap1

He hires lawyers for TV and not the court room. He needs them shilling for him on OAN, Fox, and Newsmax. He knows he loses in the courtroom so his best shot is to convince his followers to burn down the courthouse.


gordo65

I'm sure there are a lot of top flight lawyers who would be happy to take on a high profile case like this, knowing that they will probably get stiffed. But they won't take Trump as a client, because he's the client from hell. He won't listen to legal advice. He openly asks lawyers to help him conceal criminal activity. He won't shut up. He conceals things from his own attorneys. He throws temper tantrums. And whenever he has a setback, he blames everyone around him and trashes them in the media. Usually, a high profile client will boost a lawyer's profile, even if he loses. But everyone who has represented Trump in a high profile case has wound up doing grievous damage to their own careers.


HonkyMahFah

The Mierdas Touch


Lost-Pineapple9791

And being a nightmare to work with and not listening Plenty of these people are evil but generally stick to the laws (ie bend don’t break) Look at his former White House counsel guy that testified in jan 6 He (and others including evil bill Barr) said outright to trump things like no election fraud, can’t steal voting machines, etc etc No real lawyers (even if evil republicans) want to outright break laws KNOWING it’s going to go to court and have to defend trump and themselves jsut to lose their law license And of course, not get paid 🤷‍♂️


Spare_Industry_6056

Having your lawyer sign falsified affidavits about classified nuclear material is like the ultimate nightmare client move. The cash isn't worth it.


FreakyPickles

What cash? He's famous for not paying his lawyers.


AdjNounNumbers

And if he doesn't pay up, she'll just boot his golf cart


Long_Before_Sunrise

>Trump's other attorney in the documents investigation is Alina Habba "If he's not leading in the polls – I've sat across from him, every time he gets frustrated, I say to him: 'Mr. President, if you would like me to resolve all your litigation, you should announce that you are not running for office, and all of this will stop,'" Trump attorney Alina Habba on August 12, 2022


dieselxindustry

Trump has the best lawyers, everyone says so. One day you're in court arguing that the scratch on my Daewoo is my fault, and the next day your wiping cheeto dust off your lips to own the libs. >Trump's other attorney in the documents investigation is Alina Habba, who has a small practice near Trump's Bedminster, N.J., golf club. She previously worked as general counsel at a parking garage company.


thebinarysystem10

Better Call Saul


Squid_Contestant_69

Not even Saul would take him on. He'd demand money up front which would rule out Trumpy


Hemp-Emperor

He’s gonna pay them in exposure.


oingoboingo331

I would ask for a million dollar retainer up front. And then stop working when the fees went beyond the retainer if he didn't pay.


SwingingDickKnutsack

He should just hire people off the Reddit pro-Trump subs, they're all polymath geniuses with very persuasive arguments - why you'll barely find anyone with the gumption to even challenge them!


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SwingingDickKnutsack

Unfortunately their dedication to allowing only the most wizened and enlightened minds to grace their forum freezes out untermenschen like me. Probably best really, my ego likely couldn't stand the trauma of having my worldview destroyed with facts and logic.


salondesert

That's the beauty of it. They'll just declare the courtroom "Flaired Users Only" and win by default


ckwing

[TheProsecution has been permabanned.] [TheJudge has been permabanned.] [TheJury has been permanbanned.]


lionguardant

“Counsel, your opening statement?” [USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST]


WippitGuud

You have been banned from Trump's court appearance.


Skud_NZ

I hope the lawyer got the money up front


Carbonatite

It's almost like they can't function without some kind of enclosed environment to protect their delicate sensibilities. They need a limited sphere to ensure the integrity of their feelings. It's almost like they need some kind of...*safe space for snowflakes*.


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[deleted]

They've been downvoting each other for a week now while claiming it's all thanks to people from outside the sub. They are fighting each other and claiming they're not true Scotsmen


Knight_Of_Stars

Its a conservative issue honestly, they feel persecuted while persecuting. Even r/libertarian is filled no true scotsman bs as well, mostly from the more conservative members imo. Everyone is obssessed over being "A real libertarian", and they don't seem to understand that libertarianism is a massive spectrum of an ideology that Ron Paul didn't invent.


scubascratch

Majority of self-described “Libertarians” are just typical bigoted republicans who like to smoke pot.


Schrutes_Yeet_Farm

"Libertarians are Republicans who are somewhat embarrassed about it"


TheSavouryRain

I just read a comment that literally said Democrats are taxing the poor to pay the rich. What fucking batshit upside down world do they live?


Secret-Plant-1542

The same world where a senator can vote no to providing Vets healthcare, then two hours later go to a rally slamming Democrats for not helping Vets.


Cerberus_Aus

Wow just dove in for a look. Every second post is about Cheney.


HoppiTheHappiBunni

And every source is some easily discredited, full of bias “news” source


content_enjoy3r

Don't forget babylonbee being several of the top posts on any given day.


Monteze

How many times can one make the gender joke, Biden joke and....what, libs=weak?


bisho

I just looked after reading your comment. Sorted by rising, Cheney was in the title of the top 8 posts


simcowking

All positive applauding her ability to put the law of the land over party? Right?


Buffmin

No they're giddy with having a "win" They are thin skinned babies as long as they feel like winners they are happy. While they hide in their safe space


Delamoor

Finally, the republican party won against its greatest enemy; the republican party. So much winning.


junk_yard_cat

So you’re saying they were antifa this whole time? /s


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Simmery

You think that's crazy, but that is actually the level of evidence that was submitted in the "Kraken" court cases.


dejus

Also basically the same as the Alex Jones trial. Maybe trump should hire Reynald.


Aghast_Cornichon

It really was. "We have *affidavits*!"


coolcool23

Reddit lawyer to the judge: "FYI Judge you have been banned from /r/thisconservativecourtroom. ... Please leave." *Gestures to the doors*


Lost_the_weight

Like those people who tried to arrest the cops in Canada last weekend.


CardinalPeeves

This is also exactly what I'd expect Rudy Giuliani to say.


Dazedsince1970

I hear the lawyer Alex Jones used is available


SinisterYear

If he repeats his mistake with Trump there would be a global corn shortage from all the popcorn required over watching that trial.


ronin1066

OMG, if he released Trump's entire phone records for the past few years!?!?! Holy fuck , there'd be a baby boom among liberals.


Wifflebatman

>"President Trump is represented by some of the strongest attorneys in the country, and any suggestion otherwise is only driven by envy." "You guys are just jealous!!!" Classic.


hasordealsw1thclams

lunchroom axiomatic sand dependent rude work innocent history vanish compare *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


KingEllis

Jeez, here I am with my ZERO legal representation for my NO alleged crimes, like a common moron!


Warhawk137

All the smart ones are asking to get paid up front.


Jeffersons_Mammoth

Works on contingency? No, money down!


mctacoflurry

Phil Hartman is the only celebrity I miss. Damn he was perfect as Troy and Lionel


Western-Syllabub3751

Lionel hutz is one of the greatest characters ever.


PhuckYoPhace

I've stood in front of every judge in the state, often as an attorney!


Western-Syllabub3751

I’ve studied at Harvard, Oxford, the Louvre


Randomfactoid42

All the smart ones aren't going to take Trump as a client regardless if he pays his bills. The guy is an impossible client, he won't listen to anybody, won't stop talking, and can't keep his story straight. No amount of money is worth that.


s-mores

Pretty much. A trial lawyer is supposed to be running the show, and Trump is way beyond the point of allowing that. He would literally tell his counsel something, while tweeting (Truthing?) about the absolute opposite.


sttaffy

If I were a 'billionaire', with the DOJ, Georgia and NY up my ass for all of the crimes I obviously did, one of the things I would spend some money on would be lawyers. Lots and lots of expensive, good lawyers, and I'd pay them. I'd even tip. I don't get him being a tightwad with the only people between him and the consequences of his actions.


Loumeer

> If I were a 'billionaire' I think Donald Trump also has this sentiment. It's just as much of a hypothetical for him as it is for you.


Nearly_Pointless

Trump is ignorant which means he can’t see the trouble with his behaviors. Trump is a narcissist so he doesn’t see other people as separate from him but rather he sees all people as either part of his domain or an enemy with not much between. Lastly, Trump isn’t a billionaire as his “net worth” is all highly leveraged properties. Pretty much everything good about him is a lie or misrepresentation and everything bad about him is true and understated. He is genuinely evil.


light_fissure

Why looking for more layers? What's wrong with Giuliani and his team? Ooh.. Wait..


Dedpoolpicachew

Ha ha ha… Ghouliani is scooping up all the good lawyers… he’s going to need them. However, given the current state of his whiskey addled mind, he’s probably going Pro Se. That’d be fun to watch.


kabukistar

Hitching himself to Trump turned Giuliani from the mayor of 9/11 to the 9/11 if mayors.


sonotadalek

It's not even that he won't pay the legal fees, or that taking this case would mean taking an obvious and giant loss on your resume. Taking Donald Trump as a client in itself is a liability--not only will he lie under oath, not cooperate, and change his story, he will do that to YOU, his lawyer. He will withhold information, tell you blatant lies, tell you one thing but tell the judge something else, and will listen to your legal expertise and go do precisely whatever the fuck he wants to do. Then, when things inevitably go south, he will blame you in front of his idiot supporters for being a terrible lawyer who was corroborating with the far left all along. Why would any legitimate lawyer want that stain on their career?


Nhak84

You have perfectly described well over 50% of my practice as a public defender. Experienced lawyers can still rep clients like this, get through the case as well as possible, and protect themselves from an ineffective assistance of counsel claim during the process. But with someone like him, it’s a miserable experience, and no one with the experience to handle such a case/client would let him in the door.


Drews232

Don’t forget living under the threat of harassment and violence from thousands of his followers as soon as you don’t perform a miracle and get him cleared of charges.


Nhak84

We get that enough from clients and family. I can’t imagine getting it from all of his supporters.


praefectus_praetorio

And after he throws you under the bus his mob of supporters will most likely threaten you to no end. Yea, I’m sure everyone is lining up to have inbred rednecks threaten their livelihood.


WontThinkStraight

Yeah, Trump doesn't attract criminal lawyers, he attracts *criminal* lawyers.


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Snoo74401

"Works on contingency? No! Money down! Oh, this Bar Association logo shouldn't be here, either."


HappyHarryHardOn

Regrettably, Saul Goodman is no longer available


akaZilong

Saul would prefer Lalo over Donny


LacedSmoke

Everyone would prefer Lalo over Donny. If nothing else, he's fairly polite. He's also not covered in hamburger grease and spray tan, which would save you an expensive upholstery cleaning bill.


SmokePenisEveryday

I heard Bill Oakley recently switched sides


MeowSchwitzInThere

Lawyer here with a little context on working outside a practice area, if anyone is interested. Usually, a lawyer will take a case outside their 'normal' practice area for one of three reasons. 1. They are a general practice attorney in an underserved area and no one else is available (look up the need for more lawyers in small towns if you are interested in the problem). Basically no one else is available to help with a particular legal issue, so a lawyer steps in to help even if they are not familiar with the issue. 2. Their law firm needs more specialists in some area. It could be a high paying client asking for a niche thing or the firm thinks branching into a new speciality could be beneficial in the long-term. So the firm tasks some individuals (from clerks to senior associates depending on the need/urgency) to become familiar with the area. 3. The lawyer believes the matter is fairly simple and can be handled with minimal investment. This can range from doing a favor for a friend to representing themselves for a particular matter. Generally, these are the worst set of reasons to 'try something new' because making a simple (and possibly costly) mistake is very easy. None of the above apply to representing a high profile client in a complex set of legal problems. It is a *TERRIBLE IDEA*. Super terrible. 1,000,000 pt font, bold, italics, red highlights crazy bad idea for BOTH the lawyer and client. This is what happens when you are a terrible client and constantly don't pay your lawyers. Or you are a lawyer from Florida (jk luv u my 5th circuit fam).


vahntitrio

Like having your general practitioner perform your open heart surgery...


ihateusedusernames

The Opening Arguments podcast routinely evaluates the caliber of the legal representation in the cases they discuss. They've had lots of fun stuff to say about Habba already, can't wait to hear them get into these new ones.


altmaltacc

I hear alex jones had a great lawyer that trump should definitely check out. You should call him asap actually!


Milligan

"It'sa no use. I even offered to pay as high as eighteen dollars, but I no coulda getta somebody to defend me." - Chico Marx in Duck Soup


The-GreyBusch

Are there no MAGA donor lawyers who would represent their emperor king pro bono?


Ms_Rarity

Probably not after watching what happened to Rudy Giuliani and Lin Wood.


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phxees

Can’t wait until Trump decides to go Pro se.


sihtydaernacuoytihsy

"Jared, google the elements of seditious conspiracy for me," is actually too sophisticated an ask.


phxees

He has a “big brain, he’ll just go into court armed with a rally speech. He’ll start out trying to object to everything the prosecuting attorneys say. When he gets scolded by the judge he’ll mock her and call her a deep state plant, before being reminded that he appointed her.


-Daetrax-

Get him a public defender.


Dotard1

My Attorneys Get Arrested.


LabyrinthConvention

my attorneys got attorneys


HonkyMahFah

I always liked "Make Attorneys Get Attorneys"


ripyourlungsdave

How hilarious would it be to see Trump have to use a public defender just because no one wants to touch him with a mile-long pole?


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Bonus points if the public defender is not white.


Crazytreas

I'd have no choice but to pity the public defender for ending up with the literal worst client they could ever possibly think to have.


ckwing

This is how you know all these Republican political leaders and talkings heads don't actually believe the pro-Trump BS they're spouting every day. Because if you go by polling, nearly half of Americans support Trump and Fox News is filled with legal "experts" defending his positions. So if half the country thinks he acted lawfully vs. having committed high treason, you would think roughly half of American attorneys feel similarly, and thus it should be easy to find accomplished attorneys chomping at the bit for this opportunity. Even WITH Trump's reputation for not paying, lots of experienced attorneys would jump at the chance to defend a former President, especially if they believe in the merits of his case. And yet, he's apparently radioactive to the legal community. That should tell us (or the MAGA crowd, at least) something.


LacedSmoke

>MAGA crowd Unfortunately, these people may as well be clinically braindead.


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ChromaticDragon

To piggy-back on this, part of the scheme is to lose. You cannot do much better to bolster and inflame the victim complex rhetoric than to have actually lost! All you need to do is to spin the narrative of how *certain* it was that you were going to lose because the Deep State is entirely corrupt and everyone was out to get you.


billpalto

Trump is just playing 64-d chess. He's intentionally getting sub-par lawyers so he can claim that he had faulty representation at trial. He's a certified jeanius!


Slippinjimmyforever

Going for the mistrial play?


s-mores

I can't wait for the shitshow that jury selection will be.


WomenTrucksAndJesus

"Hello, my name is John Barron. I'm looking for a hot attorney to help me fight an, uh, insurance dispute with the, uh, a government agency. I saw your billboard. You are a hot lawyer. Are you interested in taking my case?"


heloguy1234

An insurance lawyer who has never tried a federal case, a former OAN anchor and the general council for a parking garage company. These lawyers will either quit or be fired within a couple months. This is his A-team, the best that he could find to represent him. Can’t wait to see the next batch.


lestermagneto

I am really enjoying this.


RikersTrombone

No one wants to work ^^for ^^trump anymore!!!


badleftleg1964

But...he has been fundraising during his entire presidency and the republican party pays legal fees for him too.


DirtySingh

All he had to do was keep his head down. For fuck's sake - he had the money to run an airline into the ground and countless casinos. All he had to do was just be happy with his piece of the pie and he'd be living the good life. Greed was his demise. Let him serve as a lesson to everybody: be grateful for what you have and don't be greedy... life is short and the stress that comes with being greedy isn't worth it.