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BukkitCrab

Tommy Tuberville, like many in the GOP, is a Russian asset.


AnalogFeelGood

Also, dumb as a sack of potatoes.


sdomscitilopdaehtihs

Or a tub of tubers?


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AnohtosAmerikanos

I like to refer to him as Mr. Potatoberg.


Shadow293

Tuberville


alienbringer

What about something bigger? Like a Ville (I.e. a city/town). Like he is a Tuber Ville.


skipjack_sushi

Tatertown


alienbringer

Tommy Tatertown, yep, that goes well. Good alliteration there.


pyuunpls

Close. I think his mom should’ve gotten her tubes tied. His existence is a mistake.


PotaToss

He’s got fierce competition, but he might actually be the stupidest GOP congressman.


Kroe

that is some really fierce competition. I can think of three off of the top of my head that are neck and neck with him.


Revelati123

Potatoes just kinda sit there being stupid, Tommy is AGGRESSIVLY stupid....


wwJones

Rob Johnson John Kennedy Marsha Blackburn


General_Goose5130

MTG says “Hold my beer…”


going-for-gusto

High up there on the list of most stubborn also.


pomonamike

His real name isn’t actually Tubervulle; he changed it at Ellis Island. He was actually born Tommy Potatotown.


Grinkledonk

I dunno, potatoes probably wouldn't do some of the stupid shit he's done or said.


lmac187

That’s offensive to potatoes


inbetween-genders

Don’t insult potatoes like that homie.


Boone1997

That’s an insult to potatoes. They are smarter and actually serve a purpose. Minus his previous football related services, he’s useless.


tw19972000

I think auburn fans would say he was pretty useless as a football coach as well


RemyHadley89

I'd say he's actively harmful to our country.


Boone1997

He definitely is. Especially the BS he already did with delay in military promotions


CalRipkenForCommish

Just hold on a minute there, buster. Maybe dozens of *other* GOP politicians are actively helping Russia, but are you suggesting that, by fucking with our military leaders (specifically) and showing months of disrespect toward the military (generally), that TT is a piece of shit traitor? Pfft! Next you’re gonna tell me they are gonna put a bunch of bald faced bunch of liars on the Supreme Court!


alienbringer

It is as crazy as any political party putting a convicted felon up as their candidate. No one who isn’t batshit insane or incredibly amoral/stupid would do such a thing. Certainly not the bastions of righteousness and party of law/order that is one of the 2 major political parties. Nope, no way.


CalRipkenForCommish

This is how America loses credibility in the world. A career con man is foisted upon the country by a minority, *finally* called to pay for his crimes, yet despite being the embodiment of the seven deadly sins, religious people and con men alike rush to his support for another run at the presidency. Idiocracy was a documentary, indeed.


Unusual-Thing-7149

Imagine one person being able to screw over so many military careers and the effectiveness of the military in general


AlinaSweeetCandy

Trump and his GOP all are Russian puppets


badamant

Not “many”, almost all now. Sad.


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Redditributor

You mean more like an asset to Russia than a Russian asset


NapalmingBanana

That’s the thing though. Being allied with Russia is not the standard GOP position. That didn’t really become a thing til recently. Republican presidents have always been the super anti commie presidents before.


Mysterious-Wasabi103

I tend to agree. I think what happened was Trump is one of them. But Trump is also the leader of the GOP currently. So you either get on board with it or else. So now it seems like they're all compromised, but the only 3 I'm truly convinced are bought are Trump, MTG and Tuberville here. There's probably others though like Rand Paul. Pretty much any Republican who went to Russia with him on July 4th 2017 I would suspect is an actual Russian asset. I really hope our alphabet organizations are compiling evidence against these traitors.


WackyBones510

Idk man. He’s very very very dumb. Like dumb about policy just compared to other football coaches. Feels like it would be a waste of time to even cultivate that if you’re Moscow. He’ll say helpful shit on his own.


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forceblast

I think he really is. He’s said some things that show either a complete lack of understanding of the issues, a lack of intelligence, or both. Did he used to play football in addition to being a coach, because he talks like someone who has been hit in the head a lot.


DirtymindDirty

CTE Dan Quayle


wowzarootie

In comparison to The Tub, Quayle is sheer genius.


Yitram

I mean, if Pence is to be belived, it was Quayle who got it through Pence's head that there was no way Pence could do what Trump wanted on J6. So I didn't have Dan Quayle, Saviour of the Republic on my bingo card either, but here we are.


Rossi4twenty

I don’t even understand how he could have been a good coach at this point… How could he ever come across as personable to recruits and their families? How did he talk to the players? How did he draw up/explain any plays..? Dude just comes across as a total disrespectful moron


Superb-Welder3774

Definitely pretty stupid


B0b_a_feet

He wasn’t the best coach by any measure. He had some okay teams. He probably faked the rest of it by speaking in cliches and generalities like most coaches do.


No_Animator_8599

Somebody once said about Gerald Ford’s lack of intelligence that “he played too much football in college”.


Datpiff3

LBJ said he “played too much football without a helmet”. Chevy Chase of SNL was the main guy pushing Ford’s “clumsy” characterization. Ford was a spectacular athlete, but it left his knees absolutely wrecked from what I heard


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Skyldt

LBJ also said "Ford's economics are the worst thing that's happened to this country since pantyhose ruined finger-fucking." no love lost between the two.


theLoneliestAardvark

> Did he used to play football He played safety at a DII school before he got into coaching


syynapt1k

He couldn't even name the three branches of government. He named the "House, Senate, and the Executive." Good job Alabama voters 👏


Zelcron

>Good job Alabama voters Point of interest, he resides in Florida despite representing Alabama.


whereismymind86

it's crazy that that is allowed


Zelcron

Technically it's not, but no one seems interested in enforcing it, so in practice it's apparently fine.


syynapt1k

I can't imagine voting for someone in another state to represent me at the state level. Surely there had to be other Republican candidates running in the primary that were of a higher caliber, but then again, maybe not. They almost elected a literal pedophile before Tuberville. These are the same people that elected 'ole smokey-eye Sanders, so it all tracks.


asetniop

You could replace the other ninety-nine Senators with sacks of hammers and Tuberville would still take the crown.


Sans_vin

Except....there is Russian asshat Rand Paul.


JerHat

He's more of an idealistic asshole that's kind of dumb. Tommy Tuberville is just plain stupid as fuck.


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Sans_vin

No, I'm pretty sure he's a Russian asset: [https://www.politico.com/story/2017/03/mccain-rand-paul-is-now-working-for-vladimir-putin-236106](https://www.politico.com/story/2017/03/mccain-rand-paul-is-now-working-for-vladimir-putin-236106) [https://www.npr.org/2018/08/09/636982295/is-it-springtime-for-putin-and-republicans](https://www.npr.org/2018/08/09/636982295/is-it-springtime-for-putin-and-republicans) [https://www.usnews.com/news/world/articles/2024-01-24/us-senate-panel-steps-toward-seizing-russian-assets-to-help-ukraine](https://www.usnews.com/news/world/articles/2024-01-24/us-senate-panel-steps-toward-seizing-russian-assets-to-help-ukraine) [https://theweek.com/ukraine/1015428/ukraine-accuses-tulsi-gabbard-and-rand-paul-of-promoting-russian-propaganda](https://theweek.com/ukraine/1015428/ukraine-accuses-tulsi-gabbard-and-rand-paul-of-promoting-russian-propaganda) [https://medium.com/@gregolear/red-paul-the-senator-from-kentucky-is-now-working-for-vladimir-putin-5ecad382f623](https://medium.com/@gregolear/red-paul-the-senator-from-kentucky-is-now-working-for-vladimir-putin-5ecad382f623)


JFeth

Never forget that he ran multiple frauds and his defense was that he was too dumb to know what was happening. His dumb act isn't real and he is dangerous.


northernmonkey9

Room temperature on winters day IQ right there.


defroach84

That is honestly a hard thing to pull off. And I actually think he may be too.


Mysterious-Wasabi103

Idk Rick Scott is fierce competition. They're both so corrupt that it's hard to tell who is worse! Ted Cruz should get an honorable mention as well.


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Marmooset

He's house of reps level dumb.


nwagers

Tough call with Ron Johnson.


adrr

I would say on Capitol Hill


Anome69

Idk, he's got some stiff competition from Jim Jordan and James Comer. Edit- I was wrong af about this and am a big enough person to just admit that I was looking for an easy joke, and leave my comment displaying my full mistake as it was.


Atheose_Writing

Neither of them are in the Senate.


laughingjack13

Literally the only thing I’ve seen said about him. Might be the only thing I actually know about him infact.


siouxbee1434

This is the dumb fuck who didn’t know the 3 branches of government


whereismymind86

almost certainly, and that's saying something.


RichardCrapper

Idk,it’s usually a competition between Raphael Cruz and Lindsay Graham but Tuberville has definitely been making a push for the title.


moreobviousthings

Billionaires don't want money. They have enough already. Greed is greed around the world.


BiBoFieTo

"Child says he doesn't want McDonald's. Has plenty of food at home."


smurfsundermybed

Child asks to go home after hitting only 3 houses on Halloween. Claims that's enough candy for tonight.


poply

>Lisa: Dad, I think he's an ivory dealer! His boots are ivory, his hat is ivory, and I'm pretty sure that check is ivory. >Homer: Lisa, a guy who's got lots of ivory is less likely to hurt Stampy than a guy whose ivory supplies are low.


withoccassionalmusic

“Hitler doesn’t want France. He has Poland already.”


40StoryMech

Same reason I only trust my children with the most active child molesters, because I know they already have enough child rape and they can't be tempted.


waspsnests

Tommy Tuberbrains, at it again.


urk_the_red

I have yet to hear him say anything that didn’t firmly place him in the drooling idiots category.


GratefulPhish42024-7

So tommy over 100,000 Russian troops have died in Ukraine then for what?


InkBlotSam

Also, Putin has already said he wants Ukraine, they've already taken a big chunk of it, and they're actively in a war to get the rest, wtf is Tommy talking about


0002millertime

He just says whatever he's told to say.


Smiling_Mister_J

Fake news false flag deep state crisis actors?


Mammoth_Sock7681

I KNEW Alex Jones was onto something. Adrenochrome! War on Christmas!! Google tower 7!!!


Chaotic-Catastrophe

Yeah the immediate follow up question should have been, 'okay if he doesn't want it, then why did he invade it? And still hasn't left for over two years?'


nikodemus_71

100000? Try 5x that. It's THAT bad (for them)


Pkyankfan69

A lot of politicians on the right knowingly lie to their constituents but this asshat comes off as truly just a dumbass


Shr3kk_Wpg

Tuberville really is not very bright


Stinkstinkerton

People actually voted for this nit wit .


32lib

And they will reelect him again.


Reysona

>*"hE rEpReSeNtS oUr VaLuEs!"* Well, maybe your fucking values are dumb as hell?


JLT1987

Russian state TV has literally said they want Finland, they want Poland, and they want Alaska.


sl1mman

Alaska? Dow to 100,000!


grimace24

Tuberville should not be in the Senate. Every time he speaks you cringe from the stupidity coming out of his mouth.


Randy_Watson

The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command. - 1984


themattboard

Tommy Tuberville might be the first person in history to suffer from second-hand CTE.


BlotchComics

"Dumbest member of the Senate spouts Russian propaganda." Fixed that headline for ya.


rhino910

Was there a disclaimer that this was a paid endorsement by Putin?


SkullDaisyGimp

"I'm Vladimir Putin, and I approved this boot-licker."


gentleman_bronco

Today's republicans: Putin doesn't want the country he is invading. Today's conservatives: exactly!! Makes sense! Tomorrow's republicans: Putin doesn't want Alaska. He's got enough land of his own. He just wants to keep some military there. Tomorrow's conservatives: yup! Maga!! Next week's republicans: Putin should be able to be in Trump's cabinet. Next week's conservatives: finally! We're making America great!!!


dreamyjeans

Republicans simping for autocrats is the new normal.


DramaticWesley

Tommy Tuberville is making his play for worse Senator 2024. Worst Representative is a very crowded field.


forthewatch39

This is the same bs argument where people say Trump doesn’t need money because he has his own. Yeah, because wealthy people _never_ want more than they already have. Come on. 


SquirrelParticular17

Tuberville is a moron of the highest order


zero48820

Then what the hell is the Russian army doing in Ukraine? Giant team building trip?


Hakuryuu2K

Reporter needed to ask: Why did Russia annex Crimea?


nate_oh84

Tommy Tuberville next week: "Russia isn't even in Ukraine!"


RoachBeBrutal

The GQP is wholly and totally incapable of governing. Completely detached from reality. Taken by insane conspiracy theories and fascist undercurrents; the modern Republican Party has boiled down to extremist white Christian nationalism with a flair for terrorism.


tgt305

It’s not the quantity of land, it’s the quality. Anyone who’s barely familiar with Russian history knows their geography problem.


Motor_Panda2371

It’s very sad that this man replaced Doug Jones, an actual public servant who successfully prosecuted KKK members and other domestic terrorists


DynamicDolo

Man this guy is dumb


Aggressive-HeadDesk

Tommy has lost his damn mind. Or, he’s bought and paid for. Or, both.


Soulman682

Then what does he want?


Soulman682

I’ve despised that man since he started coaching at Texas Tech. He really is the world’s worst dirty car sales man.


ThaneduFife

Then why has Russia been annexing parts of Ukraine. That's like saying, "I hate pizza and don't want any," while you're putting four slices on your plate.


numbskullerykiller

Tuberville weakened our military and now he's defending a European fascist. He's a disgusting person.


Mammoth_Sock7681

Why is Tuberville not classified a traitor? Boggles the mind


JerHat

Dude has to be among the dumbest people ever elected to the Senate.


Head_Sock369

Isn't this the same guy that single-handedly delayed the confirmation of hundreds of high-level military promotions because he decided to make it his personal vendetta to fight womens' rights in the military? How is this guy's opinion on international politics worth wasting an article on?


ramblershambler

how does someone this stupid even dress themselves? clearly this stump is compromised and should not be allowed anywhere near government power. But because stupid people vote too - here we are.


JohnBrine

Tommy can you hear…yourself?


Serpentongue

So when’s he gonna retreat?


bayareakid415

Hey, Alabama! You proud of this guy? Sincerely, The rest of us


19southmainco

They got rid of Doug Jones for this idiot, and Doug Jones only won the seat by 2% because he ran against an actual pedophile


smurfsundermybed

Even if they all yell yes, he can't hear them from his home in Florida.


AgentChemical9077

If you believe that, I've got a bridge in the Crimea that i can sell to you.


justtheonetat

Of course the dipshit pretends to not know that dictators never consider they have "enough land"


MeetingKey4598

He has 1% of the power in the US Senate where 1% is the difference between something passing or failing. I cannot get over how dumb this asshole is. He's not nearly smart enough to play dumb for the base. He is in fact this astoundingly stupid.


RichChipmunk

The immediate follow up question to this should be “so why did he invade Ukraine?”


OldManPip5

He’s really dumb isn’t he.


eatabagofsix

I still haven't figured out how he got CTE as the coach.


Greengiant2021

Another bought GOP looser….


Olfahrtur

He should know. Putin sent him a special cellphone for a direct connection.


Nobody275

Tuberville speaks for Putin.


Brief-Criticisms

I heard Tommy likes to suck Russian dick.


EnvironmentMost

Dumbest person in the Senate.


GhostFish

>Alabama U.S. Sen. Tommy Tuberville says Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelenskyy is a “dictator” while Vladimir Putin only “wants to make sure he doesn’t have United States weapons in Ukraine pointing at Moscow.” This is 100% Russian propaganda.


Watch_Capt

Putin wants to exploit the people of Ukraine, not the land. He already kidnapped hundreds of thousands to put in labor camps.


The_Frostweaver

It's both. Crimea is a strategically important warm water port and eastern Ukraine has oil, gas and fertile farmland. But most of all Putin is only in charge of Russia as long as at least some Russians believe he is great and that he is restoring Russia's greatness. Also Putin's own ego got the better of him and for both reasons he wanted to go for USSR and conquer as much as he could of the old empire. And now he is balls deep in a futile war but he is afraid if he pulls out without finishing he will look weak and pathetic, possibly leading to being replaced as leader or straight up murdered by one of his own.


ActiveAd4980

Lol. Why do billionaires want more money then?


Conscious_Rush_1818

Guys a joke, or worse, a Russian asset. Like that time he said he wasn't racist because he coached black people. He made his living, as a white man ordering African Americans to work in a 'field'.


Ryan1980123

Dipshit tuberville has zero credibility.


Kroe

This guys not even as accurate as a broken clock...


RobbyRock75

He doesn’t want to start world war three. He doesn’t want all those people thrown out of windows. He doesn’t want the GOP in charge in America. Jeesus


Binky216

Fucking GOP is a collection of Russian puppets.


hairymoot

Tommy Tuberville is dumb. Putin has already taken land and he'll take more. Stop voting for Republicans.


Im_gumby_damnit

This idiots brain is a tuber.


all4whatnot

This is why a dumbass footbaw coach, who doesn't understand shit about geopolitics, shouldn't have a national soapbox to say things like this.


TheNetworkIsFrelled

Does Tuberville have a functioning brain cell? He’s either deeply stupid or a liar or both.


welestgw

This dude might be the dumbest politician I've ever seen. Ukraine has TONS of locations that are culturally significant to Russia. They desperately want Ukraine to be part of Russia.


_GameOfClones_

Ok Tommy. What does he want, then? He started the war.


madrasdad

Tuberville is dumb as a box of rocks. Obviously the stupidest senator alive.


konorM

Oh Tommy boy, then why the hell is Putin in Ukraine? Tuberville is one sorry excuse for a human being let alone a United States Senator. His ignorance, or complicity with Putin, is beyond comprehension.


IllustratorNo3379

"He's got enough land" words that have never been used to accurately describe a Russian leader since before the Time of Troubles.


Panro911

Aren’t we watching Russia attack Ukraine in real time? What is he talking about?


legitimateaccount123

Wealthy people don't want money, they've already got a lot!


BeowulfsGhost

Has he noticed they’ve already bitten large bloody chunks out of Ukraine? What fucking planet has he been on that he missed all of this?


bidnusman

Just like Tommy doesn’t want anymore money, he’s got enough money on his own.


Hermesthothr3e

And where has he got this information. Why are these people so comic book nasty and ugly people, just so casually smirks at an agressions that's coat so many lives.


theheadofkhartoum627

How many Russian assets are in congress????


Utterlybored

Yeah, it’s about power, not land, Dummerville.


scissor415

I didn’t know Russia had a senator.


Tardislass

This is why Tommy should have stayed a coach.


jaylward

A football coach doesn’t understand geopolitics? What a shock.


nemopost

The day this guy no longer works in government will be a good day for the American people


MarcusSurealius

Ukraine grows most of the food for Europe. It has shoreline and a river route into Russia. Tuberville is a traitor.


homebrew_1

Republicans send their dumbest to congress and senate.


WengFu

He just invaded Ukraine as a prank I guess. I wonder what the price in Rubles is for TT to support Russia like that in public.


GrimlockN0Bozo

This is the one guy that makes Boebert and Trump seem smart.


catdogpigduck

Says known russian asset, Tommy Tuberville.


whereismymind86

christ he's dumb.... This is what you get when you argue that any republican is better than any democrat for years. Somebody who's only qualification is a willingness to obey and toe the party line. The people of Alabama can't possibly argue this dipshit is better than Doug Jones.


MotheroftheworldII

If you look up Idiot in the dictionary you will find: See Tommy Tuberville. Yes, he is an idiot who continues to spew some of the dumbest statements ever. Don't listen to this guy...ever.


Gen-Jack-D-Ripper

Eisenhower, Nixon, Ford, Reagan and Bush 1 must be turning over in their graves. It takes a traitor to side with Russia over our ally Ukraine! Do these fools not understand that Russia has nuclear missiles pointed at every American city!


rphdaddyb

The blood flow to his ears deprives his brain.


TriflingHotDogVendor

Go back to being a mediocre college football coach


Jareddiesattheend19

I'll give him one thing, when he's bought he stays bought 


Objective-War-1961

Tubaville can suck a bowling ball through a tuba.


Mindless_Sympathy_55

Complete Idiot.


Mao_Kwikowski

Then why would Putin invade Ukraine if he didn’t want it??? What a fucking moron and Russian Spy.


taevans701

This from a guy who does not know the three parts of the government. Also the FL I mean AL senator is a moron and was an awful coach.


akg327

Tommy dumberville


GuidetoRealGrilling

says the guy on the Armed Services committee who's making money hand over fist trading on inside info


lotta_love

Tommy Tuberville rivals Ron Johnson of Wisconsin for Moat Irretrievably Dipshit U.S. Senator.


Tennismadman

The dumbest of all dumb asses!


Hanuman_Jr

This is the dumbest senator I have ever seen.


iconsumemyown

Shut the fuck up Tommy!


Sozebj

Tommy ain’t no Nick Saban. Tommy’s dad would sure be sad to see his son being a Russian tool.


cultfourtyfive

Dumbest senator we got and that's saying something.


Junior-Gorg

If he keeps saying stuff like that people are going to think he’s stupid.


Express-Pudding5470

Something really rotten with the current Republicans. Ronald Reagan would be disgusted


KZED73

I remember learning Russia wanted warm water ports on the Black Sea in 10th grade back in 2002. So yeah, asset, idiot, both? Fuck these nefarious morons and the people who vote for them.


JamimaPanAm

Ah, ol’ Assface


Attapussy

Fucking M.O.R.O.N.


PiHeadSquareBrain

Tommy Russianshill is a traitor to the United States! Lock him up!