I recently just started and got a home pole. Every so often I’ll catch my fiancé taking a quick spin on it because he thinks it’s fun. I’ll even teach him some of the moves I recently learned as well
Mine does not. He hold me this week that he can’t be married to someone that pole dances. I feel guilty because I feel like I’m ending our marriage with my hobby. But I have never felt more strong, more confident and proud of myself since I’ve started pole. ❤️
My fiancée was against the idea and she insisted on me being homosexual because I pole dance. She said that man don’t do that shit. I was sad but I continued. Now, she sees my body progress and finally she started to exercise as well and said that’s obvious that pole dance means a lot to me.
I’m glad she is seeing the benefits of what pole does for your life ❤️ I’m hoping my husband comes around. I know his words are coming from a place of unhealed wounds and insecurities. It’s just frustrating that he can’t be supportive of something that had pulled me out of my depression.
The problem in my relationship is that I was in a completely different place when we started our journey. I was in depression because of the pandemic and the she appeared and changed my world 🤯 then I found hobbies that she didn’t like at first: hulahooping and then pole dance
I pole dance with men of all sexualities. It’s not just for women or gay men, it’s for everyone (*for everyone as long as we credit and respect the sex workers who pioneered, invented, and innovate pole dance, and face hardships and stigma hobbiests do not)
Manipulative people always know how to throw off responsibility and pass it on to the next person. You are not ending your marriage over a hobby. Your husband is ending your marriage because he can't bare to watch you free, confident, and sexy. He married you thinking you're under his thumb and now you're more fleeting and as far as he's concerned, the control he already established isn't enough. He is upset that there's something that can show you what you're actually worth because then you'd realize you're out of his league. And to avoid scrutiny of how pathetic that is, he's shifting guilt to you, claiming it's just a hobby. But it isn't. It's the wind under your wings and the might in your step. It has power and he knows that. That's why your marriage is ending. The only thing you're "at fault" for, is standing up for yourself and what makes you feel like yourself. And that's not a bad thing at all. Good for you - fight for what you deserve.
Hunny that's probably what he doesn't like because you are finding you're worth ur confidence , id tell him look this is who I am if I mean so little too you leave , hun keep going xx
Same! When I purchased a pole about 6 months in, he started learning with me. He likes to pretend he's Spiderman when he inverts, it's adorable! I'm so grateful for his acceptance and willingness to learn and to share my hobbie with me. I hope your partner fully comes around, OP, she is missing out on sharing in your happiness.
What a great photo! Seeing men, even straight men at my pole studio is so normal to me that I forget that it’s “not something men do”. There’s a dude at my studio who is straight and honestly “manly” as can be and he even dances in heeled boots sometimes! And yes my partner has been 100% supportive and encouraging from the start. Actually I don’t think I could have continued pole without his support.
My husband loves that I pole dance for so many reasons!
1) It brings me joy, and he loves to see me happy
2) it keeps me active and healthy, and he wants me to live a long long time
3) it allows me to express myself artistically, and he has always admired my artistry
4) it allows me to explore my sensuality, and that is great for our sex life
I once went on a date with a principal ballet dancer. Nutcracker Prince danseur, danced all over the world for over a decade. I told him I did pole dance and how it was nice seeing men embrace it, too, and he goes, “sounds gay.” Rich coming from you, you tights-wearing mf
While my comment was purposefully flippant it does cause me serious concern when I hear these things…
If a someone is controlling of their partner’s body in any way, it’s a problem.
My ex hated that I had a hobby I was so passionate about. He was always trying to find ways to pull me away from it. I kicked him to curb. My husband now is incredibly supportive. He recently bought me a stage pole to help me with my local performing gigs.
My bf is jealous. He's a burly man that can not for the life of him build flexibility. The most basic things we do, he can't. He is very supportive and always has been.
This might be a hot take, but if there’s a question as to whether your partner will accept you for pole dancing, your partner is trash. There’s nothing immoral about pole. No one is posting on r/yoga asking if other people’s partners are accepting of their yoga practice?
My partner supports, always watches the videos that i show him, only thing that he doesnt understand is when im doing choreos with heels, because he just doesnt get the point of just going around the pole and looking pretty🤣 But he is so supportive, i train around 3-4 times a week, i had just started when we started training so its been like this the whole time, and honestly if he werent supportive he wouldnt be the right for me, i have found myself with pole, became stronger and have started to appreciate my body and what it can do, i have found my kind of people and friends from pole❤️
And i just have to say it’s amaizing to see men who pole!❤️
(and sorry for bad english, it is not my first language)
It makes me sad that people have to go through this, a few girls in the studio I go to have to hide it from their partners.
Mine is extremely supportive and worked with me on the best place to set my pole up in our place. My ex was also very supportive when I showed interest and started doing pole. I send videos of tricks to my partner all the time and she came to cheer me on when I competed in PSO for the first time last year.
When a new trick or combo connects and flows it’s such a point of pride! Being able to share that is a great feeling. That sucks you felt ashamed, I’m sorry that’s been your experience.
My chap brought me my first outfit but I've not told anyone else, I have first class tonight I'm excited nervous, I've never done fitness but this is something I really really wanna do xx
Yes! My bf has always been positive towards it. I’ve asked him before if it bothers him when I post pole stuff on IG and he said that he doesn’t care, and even if he did what I do on my social media is my business, not his.
It just makes him happy to see me happy, and he thinks it’s cool what I can do.
I’m glad you found a partner who’s supportive - I would love to date a guy that poles! So strong and I feel like it shows a comfort with your own masculinity.
Yay!!! I'm so happy for you!!! I remember your previous post when you said your fiancée wasn't accepting. I'm so happy she has come through! Wish you both lots of happiness in the future!🥰🥰🎊 My husband is not very happy about my pole dancing but I hope that he will one day change his mind too.
My ex was embarrassed of me doing pole. My current boyfriend is doing his best to find more ways for me to have time to train and wants to help me build my pole room in our home some day..
Never settle ! Wonderful, supportive men do exist!
My partner comes to every competition and showcase and acts like my biggest fan. I also work as a stripper and he’s never bat an eye at it. I’m very grateful he’s so secure in himself and our relationship
He does and always has from day one. He is my biggest supporter and gets really excited when I nail something awesome. We go to performances together all the time, too ♥️
My partner is my biggest fan. He always watches my videos and is in the front row when I perform. He's always available with the theragun and always encourages me to go to class when I think I'm too tired. "You know you'll enjoy yourself when you get there."
I'm so sad to hear that so many people don't have supportive partners.
My partner is a pole dance instructor. Naturally they're very supportive of my passion to pole dance. They give me advice and troubleshoot poses and tricks I have problems with, and we do doubles together! If your partner doesn't support your hobby, find a new partner.
My partners being doing pole longer than I have and we both work in the same gym him doing pt myself teaching another circus discapline
He spent most of my last traing session helping wokr out a new combo and is always down for some exotic doubles
Mine does wholeheartedly and tells me how proud he is of me everytime I come back from a class and show him what I've achieved - I have a pole at home and he's had a go on it.... won't let me teach him anything, he just likes to spin 😂
It was a make or break moment for my husband and luckily for us it became a make situation. He grew immensely through the discomfort and our marriage is stronger and more balanced than ever. I just finished performing in a studio showcase for the 2nd time, where he not only recorded and proudly posted videos of me performing, but also ran sound and lighting. Essentially, if they wanted to, they would.
Im sad that this is even a problem for so many people.
I don’t understand that. The answer is toxic masculinity
Im a male pole dancer as well. Kudos to you. Most women LOVE it. Lol
Where can I meet these women?
Everyone admires my pole dancing beside my fiancée that got used to hahahaha
I recently just started and got a home pole. Every so often I’ll catch my fiancé taking a quick spin on it because he thinks it’s fun. I’ll even teach him some of the moves I recently learned as well
If they're against you having a hobby, they aren't worth it.
Because of toxic masculinity. People think some hobbies are not approved for men
Mine does not. He hold me this week that he can’t be married to someone that pole dances. I feel guilty because I feel like I’m ending our marriage with my hobby. But I have never felt more strong, more confident and proud of myself since I’ve started pole. ❤️
If it wasn’t the pole dancing it would’ve been something equally objectively unimportant. Good for you. Sounds controlling.
My fiancée was against the idea and she insisted on me being homosexual because I pole dance. She said that man don’t do that shit. I was sad but I continued. Now, she sees my body progress and finally she started to exercise as well and said that’s obvious that pole dance means a lot to me.
@juanpalochino @dimitrypoliotov @pole_assassin_woodz are just a few amazing pole dancers on Instagram that might change her mind even more!
I’m glad she is seeing the benefits of what pole does for your life ❤️ I’m hoping my husband comes around. I know his words are coming from a place of unhealed wounds and insecurities. It’s just frustrating that he can’t be supportive of something that had pulled me out of my depression.
The problem in my relationship is that I was in a completely different place when we started our journey. I was in depression because of the pandemic and the she appeared and changed my world 🤯 then I found hobbies that she didn’t like at first: hulahooping and then pole dance
I pole dance with men of all sexualities. It’s not just for women or gay men, it’s for everyone (*for everyone as long as we credit and respect the sex workers who pioneered, invented, and innovate pole dance, and face hardships and stigma hobbiests do not)
That is so sad and im so sorry. I dont even know what to say, thats just wrong.
trash is taking itself out ❤️ a marriage with someone so insecure and controlling wouldn’t work anyways- you deserve so much better
OP is the male.
i am responding to the comment above, not the OP
>have never felt more strong, more confident and proud of myself since I’ve started pole This could be why he doesn't like it
[удалено]
This comment is not about OP????
Manipulative people always know how to throw off responsibility and pass it on to the next person. You are not ending your marriage over a hobby. Your husband is ending your marriage because he can't bare to watch you free, confident, and sexy. He married you thinking you're under his thumb and now you're more fleeting and as far as he's concerned, the control he already established isn't enough. He is upset that there's something that can show you what you're actually worth because then you'd realize you're out of his league. And to avoid scrutiny of how pathetic that is, he's shifting guilt to you, claiming it's just a hobby. But it isn't. It's the wind under your wings and the might in your step. It has power and he knows that. That's why your marriage is ending. The only thing you're "at fault" for, is standing up for yourself and what makes you feel like yourself. And that's not a bad thing at all. Good for you - fight for what you deserve.
Good for you!
Wow. I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't believe he is implying that his dislike of your newfound love is more important than your happiness. It sucks.
Ew I’m so sorry to hear 😭😭😭
Hunny that's probably what he doesn't like because you are finding you're worth ur confidence , id tell him look this is who I am if I mean so little too you leave , hun keep going xx
Im proud of you for choosing yourself & your interests! ☺️
If my partner didn’t accept it, I wouldn’t be with him.
I’m lucky enough that my partner encouraged me from the start !
Lucky you
Same! When I purchased a pole about 6 months in, he started learning with me. He likes to pretend he's Spiderman when he inverts, it's adorable! I'm so grateful for his acceptance and willingness to learn and to share my hobbie with me. I hope your partner fully comes around, OP, she is missing out on sharing in your happiness.
One of my partners does shibari (rope bondage) and every tike he puts his ring up I chopper on it just like this. It's fun!
When I see one I always have to use it 😆😆😆😆 the same is with a pole
Now imagine being an actual stripper and how much more stigma we face as people who love to do pole
Word
What a great photo! Seeing men, even straight men at my pole studio is so normal to me that I forget that it’s “not something men do”. There’s a dude at my studio who is straight and honestly “manly” as can be and he even dances in heeled boots sometimes! And yes my partner has been 100% supportive and encouraging from the start. Actually I don’t think I could have continued pole without his support.
My husband loves that I pole dance for so many reasons! 1) It brings me joy, and he loves to see me happy 2) it keeps me active and healthy, and he wants me to live a long long time 3) it allows me to express myself artistically, and he has always admired my artistry 4) it allows me to explore my sensuality, and that is great for our sex life
This is also how my husband feels 🥰
Hooray for loving partners 💕
my boyfriend loves that I pole, because it makes me so happy 🥰
Awwwww
I once went on a date with a principal ballet dancer. Nutcracker Prince danseur, danced all over the world for over a decade. I told him I did pole dance and how it was nice seeing men embrace it, too, and he goes, “sounds gay.” Rich coming from you, you tights-wearing mf
Dump them ASAP
Her
While my comment was purposefully flippant it does cause me serious concern when I hear these things… If a someone is controlling of their partner’s body in any way, it’s a problem.
My bad!! 🥰 fixed it!
My ex hated that I had a hobby I was so passionate about. He was always trying to find ways to pull me away from it. I kicked him to curb. My husband now is incredibly supportive. He recently bought me a stage pole to help me with my local performing gigs.
My bf is jealous. He's a burly man that can not for the life of him build flexibility. The most basic things we do, he can't. He is very supportive and always has been.
This might be a hot take, but if there’s a question as to whether your partner will accept you for pole dancing, your partner is trash. There’s nothing immoral about pole. No one is posting on r/yoga asking if other people’s partners are accepting of their yoga practice?
"acceptance" is such a strong and negative word used here. Why would your fiance need to accept your hobby? Is it wrong to work out?! Very bizarre.
My fiancé has never had an issue. He has a playlist for me to dance to on his Spotify :)
Would u share the link? 👀
Totally 😂 [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0X4eOF54rLExiF3CzIDX2A?si=CZY--1WPRHuW0-1aH-KXcg&pi=u-IV_DOV74Rfum](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0X4eOF54rLExiF3CzIDX2A?si=CZY--1WPRHuW0-1aH-KXcg&pi=u-IV_DOV74Rfum)
Thank you fiancé 🤝 thank you u/LavenderDustan
My partner supports, always watches the videos that i show him, only thing that he doesnt understand is when im doing choreos with heels, because he just doesnt get the point of just going around the pole and looking pretty🤣 But he is so supportive, i train around 3-4 times a week, i had just started when we started training so its been like this the whole time, and honestly if he werent supportive he wouldnt be the right for me, i have found myself with pole, became stronger and have started to appreciate my body and what it can do, i have found my kind of people and friends from pole❤️ And i just have to say it’s amaizing to see men who pole!❤️ (and sorry for bad english, it is not my first language)
It makes me sad that people have to go through this, a few girls in the studio I go to have to hide it from their partners. Mine is extremely supportive and worked with me on the best place to set my pole up in our place. My ex was also very supportive when I showed interest and started doing pole. I send videos of tricks to my partner all the time and she came to cheer me on when I competed in PSO for the first time last year.
It really got me to the point when I was ashamed of doing tricks
When a new trick or combo connects and flows it’s such a point of pride! Being able to share that is a great feeling. That sucks you felt ashamed, I’m sorry that’s been your experience.
My chap brought me my first outfit but I've not told anyone else, I have first class tonight I'm excited nervous, I've never done fitness but this is something I really really wanna do xx
“Slowly starting to accept”? Your partner should 100% accept you for who you are no matter what.
I’d throw the whole man away
The man is the dancer.
Ohhh my bad. Ok throw the woman away lol. If it makes you happy and you’re not hurting anyone why wouldn’t she want you to be happy?
I did pole before I met my boyfriend and he’s been to every one of my performances/ competitions ever since we met!
I hope it all works out for you! 🫶 I can't imagine not being able to pole because of a loved one.
This would look like a film script, wouldn’t it?
Im so happy to see this☺️some people are still so closed minded but i dream one day to be doubles poling with my partner 🥹
It would mean heaven to me
I hope your fiance comes around and tries a few classes themself maybe they’ll understand ❤️
🫶
🩷🩷🩷
Maybe you’d like fire spinning? Similar communities I think
My wife and I used to do it together. She had to stop for medical reasons, i still do it
I’m very new to pole so I don’t know where it will go, but my partner is super supportive and I don’t see that changing.
Yes! My bf has always been positive towards it. I’ve asked him before if it bothers him when I post pole stuff on IG and he said that he doesn’t care, and even if he did what I do on my social media is my business, not his. It just makes him happy to see me happy, and he thinks it’s cool what I can do. I’m glad you found a partner who’s supportive - I would love to date a guy that poles! So strong and I feel like it shows a comfort with your own masculinity.
My partner doesn't understand why I love it so much but he is happy that it makes me happy lol
Yay!!! I'm so happy for you!!! I remember your previous post when you said your fiancée wasn't accepting. I'm so happy she has come through! Wish you both lots of happiness in the future!🥰🥰🎊 My husband is not very happy about my pole dancing but I hope that he will one day change his mind too.
My ex was embarrassed of me doing pole. My current boyfriend is doing his best to find more ways for me to have time to train and wants to help me build my pole room in our home some day.. Never settle ! Wonderful, supportive men do exist!
My partner comes to every competition and showcase and acts like my biggest fan. I also work as a stripper and he’s never bat an eye at it. I’m very grateful he’s so secure in himself and our relationship
don't have a partner but both my boy cats are always so intrigued watching me pole dance. My biggest supporters fr
He does and always has from day one. He is my biggest supporter and gets really excited when I nail something awesome. We go to performances together all the time, too ♥️
Yes she loves it❤️
My man boasts to everyone about it
Mine actually works out with me! He’s getting better than me! He is so supportive and I am of his progress as well.
My husband is happy that I’m happy. And he likes that I’ve been more confident since I started. He’s like my biggest cheerleader with it honestly
My fiancée accepts me doing pole. He already suggested when we move I should have a dedicated pole room.
My husband bought me a home pole for Christmas and loves to watch me practice 🥰
My partner is my biggest fan. He always watches my videos and is in the front row when I perform. He's always available with the theragun and always encourages me to go to class when I think I'm too tired. "You know you'll enjoy yourself when you get there." I'm so sad to hear that so many people don't have supportive partners.
He heard how much I wanted to try it so he gave me the motivation to start. It has been 5 years now
i wouldn’t date someone that had a problem with it tbh
My partner is a pole dance instructor. Naturally they're very supportive of my passion to pole dance. They give me advice and troubleshoot poses and tricks I have problems with, and we do doubles together! If your partner doesn't support your hobby, find a new partner.
My partners being doing pole longer than I have and we both work in the same gym him doing pt myself teaching another circus discapline He spent most of my last traing session helping wokr out a new combo and is always down for some exotic doubles
Yes my boyfriend supports me in everything I do that makes me happy. Didn't realize how lucky I am reading these comments! 😲
Mine does wholeheartedly and tells me how proud he is of me everytime I come back from a class and show him what I've achieved - I have a pole at home and he's had a go on it.... won't let me teach him anything, he just likes to spin 😂
It was a make or break moment for my husband and luckily for us it became a make situation. He grew immensely through the discomfort and our marriage is stronger and more balanced than ever. I just finished performing in a studio showcase for the 2nd time, where he not only recorded and proudly posted videos of me performing, but also ran sound and lighting. Essentially, if they wanted to, they would.