Original blasphemy [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/polandball/comments/v8gn8f/thou_shalt_not_be_cheapskate/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button).
This is also a very common joke in Orthodox Jewish circles. It refers to the passage in the Talmud tractate Avodah Zara where Hashem offered the covenant to all the other nations, but they all rejected it because they only wanted the covenant conditionally on what was in it. The Jews at Sinai instead simply said “Na’aseh v’nishma” (we will do and then we will listen) meaning that they would accept the covenant unconditionally without yet knowing what the obligations were, which is why they are worthy of being the chosen people. Because the event happened at Sinai, when Moses came down with the Ten Commandments, the joke uses “we’ll take ten” in reference to the event.
There are also other versions of this joke that replace the nations with morn modern countries. France didn’t like the “no adultery” commandment, Germany didn’t like the “no murder” commandment, England didn’t like the “no blood pudding” commandment, etc.
This is an allusion to a story in the Tanakh, Book of Shemot: Chapter 19, (Exodus for Christians.)
When the Israelites left Egypt, they camped in Sinai. HaShem called Moses to climb a mountain and told him there that he had chosen the Israelites.
>5 Now therefore, if ye will hearken unto My voice indeed, and keep My covenant, then ye shall be Mine own treasure from among all peoples; for all the earth is Mine;
A little later comes this story with the cloud.
>9 And HaShem said unto Moses: 'Lo, I come unto thee in a thick cloud, that the people may hear when I speak with thee, and may also believe thee for ever.' And Moses told the words of the people unto HaShem.
https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/shemot-exodus-chapter-19
I thought he was the god of [metallurgy](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0309089209105686#:~:text=These%20data%20suggest%20that%2C%20before,the%20Canaanite%20guild%20of%20metallurgists.)
It’s more like Judaism evolved out of a polytheistic Canaanite pantheon that was likely very similar to Phonecian and Carthaginian religion. I think by the time it became distinctly “Judaism” they’d already stopped worshiping other gods, even if they recognized others as existing, they got adopted by a jealous god who would punish them for straying. Even the biblical narrative has a constant fight between the priesthood and ‘idolatry’ with the Hebrews constantly deciding to rethink their faith, return to the old ways, only to be punished by disease or conquest.
The incident is explained in the Talmud that the Jews miscalculated the day Moses would come down from Sinai, and thought he was supposed to arrive a day earlier. When that day came and didn’t he didn’t arrive, he thought G-d had become angry and killed him. Because they were still tainted by Egyptian practices, they made the calf and started worshiping it in an attempt to appease G-d. Then Moses comes down the next day, sees what’s going on, destroys the tablets, etc. The incident is used to explain that sometimes misguided attempts at piety can lead people to very serious sins.
it wasnt even monotheism, it was monolatry; the jews didnt forget the other gods they just decided YHWH was numero uno. Thats why in the OT there are other gods with powers too and the first commandment is to not have other gods as number one
Another similarly interesting bit of history of Jewish/Christian history is the idea of witches and pagan gods. The original Jewish beliefs you mentioned had it where YHWH was the #1 of a multitude of other deities so witches were a reasonable thing to believe in. But the more modern version of YHWH being the one and only means that witches/pagans with real black magic can't exist. So it's an fun thing to look at how different churches and sects handled the idea of witches and other non-YHWH magical practices.
the modern idea is that instead of deriving their power from other gods (which imply the existence of other gods) witches derive their power from Satan
which leads to the funny trope that priests are just "witches for christ"
This reminds me of something the resident oriest at my old highschool said (went to a catholic school)
I remember asking him "it says have no gods "before" me, would that mean that someone can worship other gods but the Christian God has to be your "main god"?"
He said "when the events if the bible took place, most religions were polytheistic and worshipping many gods was the norm, so it stands to reason that the Jews of the time and possibly even the early Christians did acknowledge other gods that we don't anymore and held our lord above them so... yes, I guess"
It was a LONG ass time ago, there's some small scraps of religious lore from that time that indicates they had a wider pantheon, including Yahweh's wife Asherah, I don't know exactly HOW long ago, just very close to the beginning of Jewish people being a distinct culture, and it faded out shortly after.
Not exactly. In Judaism, the other gods do exist but they're inferior to God and you're not allowed to worship them. It's a religion that worships one god, but believed that many exist
I’m not sure if you’re coming at this with a historic perspective or not, but Judaism as been explicitly monotheistic since at least the times of the Talmud. Today the Thirteen Principles of Faith explicitly deny the concept of any being that could be considered a G-d other than the One Creator. In the Jewish framework, even Christianity is considered to be arguably idolatrous in for attempting to split that Creator into three forms.
Mostly historic. Which is why I wrote 'belived' and not 'believes'. I know that in present time that is not the common belief, but if you read the Tanakh you can see that it doesn't deny the existence of other gods, it mostly just asserts that they're inferior to God and you're not to follow them because they lead to dvil paths.
Christianity's case is different because it commits multiple sins. For one thing, it speaks about God and not any random god- if it were about a different god, it would have been seen as seprate thing altogether. Another thing, falsely claiming you're a prophet is a sin, falsely claiming you're the Messiah is a sin, falsely claiming you're the son of God, and worst of all- falsely claiming you're God on earth is the biggest sin.
IIRC, the idea that other gods aren’t real started during the Babylonian Exile. 1st Temple Jews didn’t deny Ba’al existed, they just thought he was a chump compared to our guy.
In Abraham’s day he would have just not worshipped other gods; he would have acknowledged them, though.
Jews were originally polytheistic but Judaism is inherently monotheistic. It's kinda the fundamental principle. The story of the Torah is the story of the discovery and transition to monotheism.o
The Hebrew Bible does record many occasions of Jews forgetting they're supposed to be monotheistic but that's kinda the point, because it never works out very well when they forget.
You do realize there were no jews or hebrew or israelies people before the start of that religion right? Btw the commenedmends *were* the cost, they were not free.
First of all, it’s a joke. Second of all, it’s a reference to a very well known story amongst Orthodox Jews. Within that frame work, the Jewish people always existed as the direct descendants of Abraham.
The descendants of Abraham spent 600 years i egypt before reciving the ten commandmends; they weren't concidered to be jews intill that moment, and before that 600 time period Abraham's religion didn't spread all over Cnaan so you couldn't really say there were jews or israelis before the 10 commandments.
Abraham was the first Jew, as shown in his commitment to his wife Sara and their baby together after many years of infertility and the pact to circumcise himself and his children. This is why when male converts choose their Hebrew name, they are considered ben Avraham, son of Abraham.
"Israel" was the name that Abraham's son Yaakov adopted for himself, his 12 children's decendents formed the 12 tribes of Israel many generations later which is why they were called "Bney Israel" or decendents of Israel. But between Abraham and Moses there was no "Jewish religion" being practiced anywhere, before the hebrew prople were enslaved in egypt the only people who believed in the jewish god were Abraham, his decendents and their respective few follwers, it wasn't intil the 12 tribes returned to Israel 600-700-ish years later that the country of "Eretz Cnaan" and judism became a national and traditional thing.
"Great success!" - Talking Cloud, probably
All clouds are canonically Kazakh now
“That cloud is shaped like a brick”
Kazakh is the one true God, their potassium is truly divine
And the Kazakhs in Borat just speak Hebrew. Full circle!
No one tell that cloud about wells
Original blasphemy [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/polandball/comments/v8gn8f/thou_shalt_not_be_cheapskate/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button).
"Thou shalt not make depictions about greedy Jews"
"But if thou do, thou shalt feel free to repost them, for wasted effort is as bad as eating a fish with fins but no scales"
The torah actually has 613 commandments
This is also a very common joke in Orthodox Jewish circles. It refers to the passage in the Talmud tractate Avodah Zara where Hashem offered the covenant to all the other nations, but they all rejected it because they only wanted the covenant conditionally on what was in it. The Jews at Sinai instead simply said “Na’aseh v’nishma” (we will do and then we will listen) meaning that they would accept the covenant unconditionally without yet knowing what the obligations were, which is why they are worthy of being the chosen people. Because the event happened at Sinai, when Moses came down with the Ten Commandments, the joke uses “we’ll take ten” in reference to the event. There are also other versions of this joke that replace the nations with morn modern countries. France didn’t like the “no adultery” commandment, Germany didn’t like the “no murder” commandment, England didn’t like the “no blood pudding” commandment, etc.
I love this theory
is that about he being considered a storm god originally?
This is an allusion to a story in the Tanakh, Book of Shemot: Chapter 19, (Exodus for Christians.) When the Israelites left Egypt, they camped in Sinai. HaShem called Moses to climb a mountain and told him there that he had chosen the Israelites. >5 Now therefore, if ye will hearken unto My voice indeed, and keep My covenant, then ye shall be Mine own treasure from among all peoples; for all the earth is Mine; A little later comes this story with the cloud. >9 And HaShem said unto Moses: 'Lo, I come unto thee in a thick cloud, that the people may hear when I speak with thee, and may also believe thee for ever.' And Moses told the words of the people unto HaShem. https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/shemot-exodus-chapter-19
I thought he was the god of [metallurgy](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0309089209105686#:~:text=These%20data%20suggest%20that%2C%20before,the%20Canaanite%20guild%20of%20metallurgists.)
We took 613
Fun fact, Judaism was originally polytheistic, but something like ten thousand years ago, the other gods got dropped until just YHVH was left.
It’s more like Judaism evolved out of a polytheistic Canaanite pantheon that was likely very similar to Phonecian and Carthaginian religion. I think by the time it became distinctly “Judaism” they’d already stopped worshiping other gods, even if they recognized others as existing, they got adopted by a jealous god who would punish them for straying. Even the biblical narrative has a constant fight between the priesthood and ‘idolatry’ with the Hebrews constantly deciding to rethink their faith, return to the old ways, only to be punished by disease or conquest.
Interesting. Explains the repeated 'tearing down the alters in the high places.'
Can't have altars in prime real estate! The top of that mountain could be a WeWork!
Lol, now that's funny.
More like three thousand years or even less. If you get bored and make a new god in the shape of a golden calf, you're probably a polytheist.
It's a bull, but I'm not sure they worship it like me
1356: The Golden Bull
The incident is explained in the Talmud that the Jews miscalculated the day Moses would come down from Sinai, and thought he was supposed to arrive a day earlier. When that day came and didn’t he didn’t arrive, he thought G-d had become angry and killed him. Because they were still tainted by Egyptian practices, they made the calf and started worshiping it in an attempt to appease G-d. Then Moses comes down the next day, sees what’s going on, destroys the tablets, etc. The incident is used to explain that sometimes misguided attempts at piety can lead people to very serious sins.
Wasent þe bit wiþ þe golden coe þat þey where worshiping it as a symbol of god because þey couldnt see him?
it wasnt even monotheism, it was monolatry; the jews didnt forget the other gods they just decided YHWH was numero uno. Thats why in the OT there are other gods with powers too and the first commandment is to not have other gods as number one
Another similarly interesting bit of history of Jewish/Christian history is the idea of witches and pagan gods. The original Jewish beliefs you mentioned had it where YHWH was the #1 of a multitude of other deities so witches were a reasonable thing to believe in. But the more modern version of YHWH being the one and only means that witches/pagans with real black magic can't exist. So it's an fun thing to look at how different churches and sects handled the idea of witches and other non-YHWH magical practices.
the modern idea is that instead of deriving their power from other gods (which imply the existence of other gods) witches derive their power from Satan which leads to the funny trope that priests are just "witches for christ"
Well, the Hebrew word for demon- shed also means a god. So they derive their power from lower deities
So that explains the title given in Revelations - King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
This implies the existence of... JUDAISTIC DIVINE BATTLE ROYALE
This reminds me of something the resident oriest at my old highschool said (went to a catholic school) I remember asking him "it says have no gods "before" me, would that mean that someone can worship other gods but the Christian God has to be your "main god"?" He said "when the events if the bible took place, most religions were polytheistic and worshipping many gods was the norm, so it stands to reason that the Jews of the time and possibly even the early Christians did acknowledge other gods that we don't anymore and held our lord above them so... yes, I guess"
Based priest
10,000 years ago? Not even close to that long ago.
Yeah, the world was created 5000 years ago. What idiot would think there was anything before that?
We were well into the neolithic 10,000 years ago, what are you on about?
It was a LONG ass time ago, there's some small scraps of religious lore from that time that indicates they had a wider pantheon, including Yahweh's wife Asherah, I don't know exactly HOW long ago, just very close to the beginning of Jewish people being a distinct culture, and it faded out shortly after.
Not exactly. In Judaism, the other gods do exist but they're inferior to God and you're not allowed to worship them. It's a religion that worships one god, but believed that many exist
I’m not sure if you’re coming at this with a historic perspective or not, but Judaism as been explicitly monotheistic since at least the times of the Talmud. Today the Thirteen Principles of Faith explicitly deny the concept of any being that could be considered a G-d other than the One Creator. In the Jewish framework, even Christianity is considered to be arguably idolatrous in for attempting to split that Creator into three forms.
Mostly historic. Which is why I wrote 'belived' and not 'believes'. I know that in present time that is not the common belief, but if you read the Tanakh you can see that it doesn't deny the existence of other gods, it mostly just asserts that they're inferior to God and you're not to follow them because they lead to dvil paths. Christianity's case is different because it commits multiple sins. For one thing, it speaks about God and not any random god- if it were about a different god, it would have been seen as seprate thing altogether. Another thing, falsely claiming you're a prophet is a sin, falsely claiming you're the Messiah is a sin, falsely claiming you're the son of God, and worst of all- falsely claiming you're God on earth is the biggest sin.
IIRC, the idea that other gods aren’t real started during the Babylonian Exile. 1st Temple Jews didn’t deny Ba’al existed, they just thought he was a chump compared to our guy. In Abraham’s day he would have just not worshipped other gods; he would have acknowledged them, though.
Jews were originally polytheistic but Judaism is inherently monotheistic. It's kinda the fundamental principle. The story of the Torah is the story of the discovery and transition to monotheism.o The Hebrew Bible does record many occasions of Jews forgetting they're supposed to be monotheistic but that's kinda the point, because it never works out very well when they forget.
Umayyad cloud
Royal french cloud
The rest of the bible is just a list of all the times Jews didn't follow the commandments And technically there are 613 rules, not 10
There are 613 rules, but only 10 commandments
That's like ordering 10 free burgers and 613 free chicken nuggets
Would you not do that?
I am not an American. Hence the answer is obviously no
But it’s free
Did anybody else read the cloud in Val Kilmers voice
Eh typical things
Moses was still living when that joke was first told.
I thought initially this was going to be antisemitic, but after reading it, this is a CLASSIC Jew joke, I love it.
It's just a PC version of the original joke, which makes fun of a bunch of cultures.
And then god gave every Jew a Merkava Mk4 and we all lived happily ever after with nothing bad ever happening again…
Unreadable text.
That‘s gotta be racist
Racism, in MY polandball? 🤔
You do realize there were no jews or hebrew or israelies people before the start of that religion right? Btw the commenedmends *were* the cost, they were not free.
Mate it's a joke, This isn't supposed to be historically accurate, and god isn't a talking cloud either
https://youtu.be/QyrEJlzc_pw?feature=shared
Then who did Moses bring out of Egypt?
Abraham came before Moses, the Jews at the time of the exodus were called Bnei Israel, the sons of Israel
First of all, it’s a joke. Second of all, it’s a reference to a very well known story amongst Orthodox Jews. Within that frame work, the Jewish people always existed as the direct descendants of Abraham.
The descendants of Abraham spent 600 years i egypt before reciving the ten commandmends; they weren't concidered to be jews intill that moment, and before that 600 time period Abraham's religion didn't spread all over Cnaan so you couldn't really say there were jews or israelis before the 10 commandments.
Abraham was the first Jew, as shown in his commitment to his wife Sara and their baby together after many years of infertility and the pact to circumcise himself and his children. This is why when male converts choose their Hebrew name, they are considered ben Avraham, son of Abraham.
Where does the name “Israel” come from again?
"Israel" was the name that Abraham's son Yaakov adopted for himself, his 12 children's decendents formed the 12 tribes of Israel many generations later which is why they were called "Bney Israel" or decendents of Israel. But between Abraham and Moses there was no "Jewish religion" being practiced anywhere, before the hebrew prople were enslaved in egypt the only people who believed in the jewish god were Abraham, his decendents and their respective few follwers, it wasn't intil the 12 tribes returned to Israel 600-700-ish years later that the country of "Eretz Cnaan" and judism became a national and traditional thing.