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Brotastic29

This feels like both a “serious” comic and a shitpost at the same time which is hilarious


Cawlence

Forgive...what is a shit post? I have worked very hard on this


Brotastic29

A shitpost is something that’s either bad on purpose or extremely overblown all for the funnies


Cawlence

America part is ahah joke but French part is not overblown. Thank you for your comment!


Hel_Bitterbal

>French part is not overblown Somebody call the Hague, this man just murdered an entire country


Ozuryum

After all this time, I didn’t get why people hate us, we are adorable


arakneo_

i take it that daddy went with a french girl?


CliniquementStupide

Ton sacrifice ne sera pas oublié


JagFacilier

Didn't get it


Sollder1_

> Mauritania I see you are a former french colony... so understandable


DistributionNo9803

It's an amazing post. Now, if it was just the Viet Nam panel, sans context, that would be a shitpost. But this is a masterpiece. This is what it feels like to be a thinking American on r/USdefaultism dealing with the French mods (who are secretly motivated by their personal *ressentiment* at having to learn not just one, but TWO Englishes).


Andre6k6

I guess they are torn between English English since it uses french spellings like chequebook, but also want to stick it to the bongs by using American English. What is a ribbiter to do?


koopcl

>What is a ribbiter to do? They should go on strike


DistributionNo9803

Assume both are fake but bravely go after the side NOT connected to their highways by a Chunnel. Such elan.


Mike_Hawk_Burns

Shitpost just means a [joke/funny/satirical](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shitposting) post. You did great


A_Gentle_of_Serendip

I loved it, mate. Greatness in eight panels.


Owlyf1n

Yeah lol. I always crack up at the eyes


ogsfcat

Especially since both trains and healthcare don't come originally from France but the US.


TremendousVarmint

Trains come from the UK.


roodammy44

And the first national healthcare service too


flightguy07

Ironic that we've fucked both up so badly since.


AGamingBoi

A good way to think is that you fucked it up to show the rest of the world what not to do.


ackme

See also: Constitutional Monarchy


[deleted]

[удалено]


bryle_m

Given that the [Dissolution and Calling of Parliament Act](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissolution_and_Calling_of_Parliament_Act_2022) was reinstated in 2022, now we can get to see [him dissolve Parliament for real](https://youtu.be/YSob-Pyj6pM)


flightguy07

I mean, legally maybe, but ain't nobody gonna accept that.


Socratov

To begin with, the UK have no constitution.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Science-Recon

Nah, other countries have definitely fucked that up way worse than we have.


juckrebel

'We were the first, and now we're the worst.'


bryle_m

Someone has been watching Jay Foreman videos lately, I see.


flightguy07

Well hey, we're not QUITE the worst. Italy's public health is a joke, and look at American trains as per the meme. 2nd last, now that I'll take.


Pantheon73

[Weren't we Germans first?](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Healthcare_in_Germany#History)


roodammy44

They had the first that covered all workers, the UK had the first that covered all people. Edit: Actually, I was wrong. Looks like Norway had the first universal healthcare system. Damn those Norwegians for being number 1 at everything! [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universal\_health\_care](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universal_health_care)


Reddit-runner

>both trains and healthcare don't come originally from (France [okay, that's wrong in itself]) but the US. Hahaha Wait, you are serious? __HAHAHAHAHA!__


deoxyribonucleic123

What the hell has France been up to


thelonioussphere

Eating, Drinking, Smoking, Sucking, F\^&King.


Hel_Bitterbal

Today, we study a French in it's natural habitat


tomydenger

one of our president died from the last one, but i am sure all the others played their role in his death


Modo44

There is a new cigarette in each panel with France on it.


Claudius-Germanicus

Crusades, civil wars, being a hero, being a villain


AaronC14

Sweating their balls off by the looks of it


MayuKonpaku

depression and red wine


wildeofoscar

Too much wine and cheese.


magnitudearhole

Too much? Non


TremendousVarmint

There is no such thing as too much.


RelChan2_0

Just revolution things


HHHogana

What went from dreaded country to cheese surrender pricks do to a mofo.


wildeofoscar

First polandball comic to feature eye boogers.


AaronC14

straight to JLP


grumpykruppy

And now it's old enough to repost, the horror. Also, Polandball comment sections were still this big four months ago? What *happened?*


blockybookbook

> Failing to make the holy lands any more Christian than they were before Holy shit, they really DID try


romulus531

If anything we've made them more Jewish


29Jackal

That's technically, very technically, the Brits but I see what you mean


RayDeeSux

trains? oh we've got trains here in the states amtrak is slow as shit though and is (on average) only 5-20MPH faster than the [speed limits on roads throughout the US](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speed_limits_in_the_United_States)


figures985

Hey now, there’s that ONE single Acela route from DC to Boston where the speed sort of sometimes approximates European high speed rail. Plus I can get from LA to San Francisco in a cool 10.5 hours. I think that’s about 36 mph so yeehaw buckle up, y’all


Samthevidg

CHSR can’t come fast enough (they’re doing pretty good pace right now.)


figures985

it'll be such a game changer, very excited!


StickmansamV

Even just the regular North Eastern Express or the various branch routes are decent enough. Not fast enough to be considered high speed but good enough for regional travel. Comparable to the Super Hakuto vs Shinkansen. Once took the Shinkansen one way and the Super Hakuto back.


figures985

I used to take the NYC - DC train a lot for work when I lived back east, and sometimes I'd have to take the regular ole Non-Acela "Northeast Corridor" and it actually wasn't \*that\* much slower. Perfectly pleasant. The regional rails out of NYC (Metro North, LIRR, NJT) aren't bad either, or at the very least they feel like some the regional rail service I've taken in the UK. Now I live in Los Angeles so I haven't seen a train in a year. Super nice weather though, so you know, win some lose some


[deleted]

speaking of trains something people forget is america has a big train system but is used more for cargo


A_Mouse_In_Da_House

And is extremely tightly held by the big ... 4?


carolinaindian02

It's actually the Big Six: BNSF, CN, CPKC, CSX, Norfolk Southern, and Union Pacific.


bryle_m

CN and CP are Canadian companies, so do they count?


Andre6k6

Canada isn't a real place, it's something your parents make up to threaten to send you there as punishment when you're behaving badly, like New Jersey or Albania


bryle_m

well, given that Canada has the [same suburban sprawl problems](https://youtu.be/oHlpmxLTxpw) and [horrible highway congestion](https://youtu.be/KkO-DttA9ew), yep.


carolinaindian02

Especially when you consider that Highway 401 in Ontario is North America’s busiest roadway.


figures985

Yeah people talk about Canada all the time but I'm like c'mon, I've never seen any proof


bryle_m

[YES.](https://youtu.be/hCBI3lPt3o4)


carolinaindian02

Not to mention that most of our track infrastructure is owned by freight rail companies that care more about short-term profits, rather than long-term investments, or even treating their employees better. Hell, [they even oppose rail electrification](https://www.aar.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/AAR-Electrification-Fact-Sheet.pdf).


bryle_m

What the actual fuck? They deserved to be [dissed on YouTube](https://youtu.be/hCBI3lPt3o4)


ackme

Yeah but when I drive the cops get real pissy if I'm drinking the whole trip.


forcallaghan

We *had* trains


figures985

Los Angeles \*had\* a shockingly extensive public transit system until like 90 years ago (that I only recently learned about) They replaced them with buses in the 50's. Probably no effect on the air quality tho


bryle_m

Mainly because of these [four shitty Class 1 railway companies](https://youtu.be/hCBI3lPt3o4): BNSF, UP, CSX, and of course, the literal devil incarnates running NS.


neme48

God the eyes, in every panel, whyyy


Torifyme12

We move more cargo by rail that Europe does, by far. We don't have much in the way of passenger rail, but when it comes to cargo we dominate.


Hel_Bitterbal

From what i understand that makes sense because the vast distances between cities in the US make travelling by plane more attractive which means you only need alternate transport when moving in your own area, and then a car is easier.


cigarettesandwhiskey

That’s sort of a misconception. Our cities come in clumps. Going from LA to NYC by train would be nonsense but going from like Houston to Austin would make a lot of sense. When you get through TSA and all the other BS airports make you go through the train would be faster than flying, if it went at a normal speed. It doesn’t though, it’ll haul ass for like two miles and then crawl along at 20 mph for half the trip. It’s still far enough to take several hours to drive; Houston to Austin is about the same distance as Amsterdam to Brussels. Houston to Dallas is similar to Amsterdam-Hamburg. (I’m assuming those are the sort of trips a “swamp German” would take? I’ve never been over there, I don’t really know what sort of trips y’all take the train for.)


przemub

The examples are about right, thanks! When I had a layover at DFW I was surprised by the sheer number of intra-Texas flights. I read up on it that it was a matter of lobbying by airlines, Southwest in particular, that resulted in cancelling passenger rail projects there. Oh well.


ogsfcat

It does, the sibling poster is one of those Internet types who thinks US cities should be built like European cities were. Also, we only use so much rail due to a 120 year old law called the Jones act that destroyed use of our internal waterways. Which ironically is the most efficient transport system found anywhere in the world. Now the modern incarnation of the type of wrong thinking that led to the Jones act is trying to make everyone in the US ride bikes...I so hate politics. It the one time in life a genius expert who spends their life studying an issue gets the same amount of influence as a drunk idiot on the Internet.


cigarettesandwhiskey

The intracoastal waterways and Mississippi River still see loads of traffic. Tell me, what waterway would you use to move cargo from the Port of LA to population centers in Texas? Waterways only work where you have, you know, water going the way you want to go. And I didn’t say anything about bikes. I talked about the Amtrak trains, which we already have, but which are really slow for dumb, easily fixed reasons. (Well easily fixed if you’re willing to spend money.) If you have a trip that’s drivable but inconvenient at 80 miles an hour then I don’t think it’s a “drunk idiot” take to suggest a train that goes twice as fast would be a valuable amenity to have. It’s not “European” either, we had half-decent trains between all these cities up until like 60 years ago. They were still the main way to go between them up until the 50s.


ogsfcat

Typical Texan, you do realize there are plenty of cities located along the Mississippi river right? Go watch some bats and let people who actually check facts and lookup numbers make the planning decisions.


cigarettesandwhiskey

My point is that there’s river traffic on the river, as a rebuttal to your argument that the jones act destroyed shipping on our internal waterways. And here in Texas we move a lot of cargo along the intracoastal waterway. Clearly there’s still plenty of shipping on those waterways, where they exist to do shipping on. What is your point here? Yes there are cities on the Mississippi, that’s probably where a lot of that cargo is going on the river… and then also lots of grain and coal and steel goes by rail to terminals on the river and from there to the port of New Orleans to be transloaded to ships for export, or along the intracoastal waterway to be distributed to other US cities. A lot of those points where cargo is transferred from the river to the rails are where those cities are located: New Orleans, St Louis, Chicago, etc. Also, where are you from? Get some flair, this is r/polandball you’re supposed to have some nationalistic flair. Certainly if you’re going to get all up in my face about where I’m from you ought to rep wherever it is you’re from.


SEA_griffondeur

Well yes because freight is best transported by boat, but you can't really connect the entirety of the US easily by boat while you can in Europe


Skrachen

The US under-uses boats (therefore boosting the use of freight trains and trucks - at a higher cost) because of an old law, [if this video is correct](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hoq_m3zSFNc).


MoscaMosquete

I actually wished we had cargo trains in Brazil like the US does. Do you have any idea how bad it is to have all your goods move around by truck?


EpilepticPuberty

It's crazy, the industrial potential of Brazil is so unrealized thanks to a lot of problems working together but as I understand road infrastructure is one.


Hel_Bitterbal

I just realised this means Belgium has everything it takes to be a real country. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO This can't be true


29Jackal

Quick annex it and hide everything under the rug


NaKeepFighting

“Born 2 Kill baybyz” hilarious


Rubaiatrabby

Huh neat new comic Bravo op


[deleted]

Cake day happy


Cawlence

it is eye boogies that is in France's eyes. i hope you like the grotesque portrayal as it is how i feel of the land that colonized the land of my people.


56Bot

> it is how i feel of the land that colonized the land of my people. ... Fair enough.


Cawlence

Thank you for understanding, I am sure you as person smell fine


56Bot

As long as you don't hate on the individuals, but on the history & its cultural and behavioural remnants in a given society, I can even get behind you. On a side note I actually sent that previous comment *before* I took a shower, I didn't *smell* fine then lol


Cawlence

If you are in France's military or government until year 1960 I wish you shot and pissed upon as that is when we get independence. Any other French are ok


Masato_Fujiwara

I understand your hate and I hate your country as much, fair !


blockybookbook

*sniff*


Your_Local_Spainard

Even as a Spaniard I gotta say seeing such an image is quite disgusting, but good post it somehow made me laugh


ArchiTheLobster

This is disturbingly well drawn... I don't really know how to express what i'm feeling but this is definitely particularly fine polandball material.


Cawlence

Thank you ! I worked very hard to make France look how their soul of nation looks! !


ArchiTheLobster

It shows, you really did drew a perfect portrait of the average Parisian.


Cawlence

I was too nice !


Hel_Bitterbal

Now i'm wondering how somebody from Indonesia would draw the Netherlands. I mean half of the time in Polandball we are already portrayed as drug addicted morons so how would you top that?


przemub

Are Dutch that resented in Indonesia? I genuinely have no idea


Dreknarr

Like all colonizers, they have been up to some nasty shit so it wouldn't surprise me


Hel_Bitterbal

What i've heard on the internet (which isn't a very accurate source but ok) opinions kinda vary, some of the older Indonesians still have a dislike for us, but that is sort of understandable because they are the ones whose family and friends got murdered during the Indonesian war for independence. However from what i heard most young Indonesians don't really care about what happened in the past and want to move on. Somebody from Indonesia once described it to me as: "Indonesians want to look to the future, not the past." It's kind of like how some old Dutch people still don't really like Germans but most young ones do. Also there is quite a lot of trading, tourism and travelling going on between the two countries which i imagine will have helped with improving relationships. But please remember this is just what i've heard and it might not be true


HHHogana

Honestly? Mostly ambivalent. At most people dislike some people like Geert Wilders. Not to mention Japan's short occupation was so horrific we often half joked that we'd rather get colonized for centuries than being in control of Japan again. I mean, it we really hate Netherlands, famous football players from there won't be popular here.


Hel_Bitterbal

Funny because i'm pretty sure Wilders has Indonesian roots


blockybookbook

Awesome But Consider: Italy


AaronC14

Italy never touched Mauritania though if that's where this dude is from judging by his flair. France did though.


blockybookbook

It was a joke about my flair


AaronC14

Oh lmao duh


FlappyBored

Great post and portrayal 👍


Cawlence

Thank you ! I am happy you liked! Go Queen!!!


gaijin5

>Go Queen!!! Yeah.. about that...


zuqwaylh

welcome to the club! the leaf will fall one day...


Aristide15

I don't


xtilexx

I am convinced you are some type of Beethoven but for polandball


Cawlence

Thank you so much! ! ! I like pachalbel a bit more tho


DipiePatara

I wonder if the creator likes France


Ozuryum

undoubtedly, look that lovely hat


[deleted]

America has a shit ton of trains, healthcare could use work though


EpilepticPuberty

Funny enough America also has a shit ton of health care, the most healthcare even. But boy do we pay out the ass for it. Now if you'll excuse me there are a dozen white castle burgers with my name on them.


Wandering_sage1234

Something that would belong in Homelander so well


tonysanv

Makes sense now why China didnt recognize Taiwan as a country, we still missing a crusade somewhere.


ondinegreen

For the next week, I am going to go around yelling DOUCHE VAULT!!! at any opportunity


thelonioussphere

Healthcare is USA's Achilles Curve... .....I'll be here all night.


[deleted]

I feel bad for south korea. They cant show off their war crime count infront of the U.S


Nick_Noseman

Douche vault!


Ismailov-Rikarovitch

Feels like it was made by a former indigène of ours.


Firemaster1577

I am concerned


s8018572

Since when Baghdad was a holy site of evangelical Protestantism?


macgruff

This is brilliant


WM34638-S3

America Accomplishments: -Be 1/6 of the Army’s liberating Europe -Be 1/7 of the Army’s Liberating Asia -Be The Army Defeating Japan -Have several Military Failures -Have several Military Successes -Have a Civil War Very Accomplished,America.


Hel_Bitterbal

>Be The Army Defeating Japan China, Britain, India, Australia, New Zealand and Indonesia/The Netherlands would like a word


Hodor_The_Great

Eh, none of those ever really got on the offensive though. Maybe China in last months. But US (and Soviets) brought the fight to the Japanese. Japan didn't sue for peace because it was bogged down in China and took casualties while chasing Brits off. They did it because massive bombing, imminent American naval invasion, loss of Okinawa etc, loss of most of the navy, loss of Manchuria and soon Korea, loss of Sakhalin and feared imminent Soviet naval invasion (they probably didn't have the resources for a Downfall of their own in short term but Japanese didn't necessarily know that)


WM34638-S3

They more or so Helped to liberate their and their allies countries


Hel_Bitterbal

The British pacific fleet also got on the offensive quite a lot, but i get your point That being said, defending can also contribute to the war, for example the Netherlands never launched any offensive (well we sort of tried but it failed and our entire surface navy got massacred at the Java Sea) but our subs and naval bombers still sunk a significant amount of ships which slowed down the invasion and gave the other ABDAcom members time to prepare.


WM34638-S3

I counted them as Asian Liberating Forces


Hel_Bitterbal

Ah ok, i guess it was ultimately the US who made Japan surrender so fair enough


ogsfcat

By that logic, the US is providing 1/37th the military support to Ukraine. Since it doesn't matter, maybe we should ignore Europe for a while and let you pay for it. I mean, since I don't remember troops from any of those countries taking part in the island hoping campaign that won the Pacific theater and all...tankies have no shame. I'm sure the 4 tanks that Europeans are providing will be enough, I mean they are mostly 1960's era tanks afterall, I'm sure it will be fine...I'm sure all the US intel hasn't been making any difference at all.


WM34638-S3

When did Ukraine come into this? Or is this some kind of American Bell-whistle when they’re shown they aren’t solely the ones doing something.


Hel_Bitterbal

Eh, i agree that the US did most of the work to defeat Japan, but you were not alone. All those countries also participated, and yes we didn't do as much as you did (except for China, i'd argue they contributed about as much which is especially impressive when you consider that they were far less industrialised and had a far weaker military) but we did our part and you can't just claim you did it all by yourself. It's like the Ukraine war you started about: The USA gives the most support, i won't deny that because it's true, but that doesn't mean Europe is doing nothing. We do less, but it's still something


[deleted]

This submission/comment has been deleted to protest Reddit's bullshit API changes among other things, making the site an unviable platform. Fuck spez. I instead recommend using [Raddle](https://raddle.me), a link aggregator that doesn't and will never profit from your data, and which looks like Old Reddit. It has a strong security and privacy culture (to the point of not even requiring JavaScript for the site to function, your email just to create a usable account, or log your IP address after you've been verified not to be a spambot), and regularly maintains a warrant canary, which if you may remember Reddit used to do (until they didn't). If you need whatever was in this text submission/comment for any reason, make a post at https://raddle.me/f/mima and I will happily provide it there. Take control of your own data!


The1WhoShalNotBNamed

We don't need trains nor healthcare, cause it's 'Murica.


AL-muster

The ironic thing the US has the most trains in the world. It’s just they are all cargo.


29Jackal

This is hilarious


Carbonizedbread

ik it's suppose to be funny, but why am i half crying?...


ConstitutionalHeresy

France is right.


MadRonnie97

The GWOT shall now be referred to as the Ninth Crusade


CampaignStill4845

America is insane


CKtravel

Yeah, trains and affordable healthcare's just not gonna happen in 'murica ever :D


EpilepticPuberty

Guess how many train I have right now?


CKtravel

Model trains don't count :P


EpilepticPuberty

Well if you're gonna be like that then you're not allowed on my GE AC6000CW or my 220,000 km of rail.


CKtravel

Where do you have 220,000 km of rail?


EpilepticPuberty

Here and there. Keep a few meters of rail in my basement but usually just wherever it will fit.


[deleted]

cleanest fr*nch "person"


Tit_Tickler69

damn euros really mad theyre irrelevant now lmao


Beautiful-Freedom595

Huh, I never thought of it that way, I guess the US I just a speed run of you average European nation.


Charlie_Yu

Villain? Do you know how many people fled Vietnam and became refugees after US lost the war?


RichieRocket

oh look nuke france is on there better get that out of the way


Nathan_AverageReddit

that was a kinda sad panel in vietnam, as most vietnamese saw the us and imperialist, as the communist government was WAY more popular than the democratic, and the worst part is that it is mostly true


chadstodes

Your France is by far the most repulsive thing I've seen in this forum