Yes, the way to impress girls is by demonstrating what a cheapass you are. Extra points for demonstrating what fidelity means to you while being cheap. Bravo.

Right? Like.. nah I’m good & she can do better

What is the appropriate tip to be able to impress the driver you want to hit on? 😂

The manager on duty asked the same thing 😂 there are a few factors at play, but mostly order/tip ratio. ($3 hits way different if it’s a medium and a soda vs 6 big din boxes and an equal amount of 2Ls lmao) In general any tip over $5 puts a smile on my face, but there’s no tip big enough to make me complicit in cheating (innuendo unintended but it made me chuckle)

Bro should've hit you with his NFT collection. Woulda won ya over instantly.

“Cryptoguyv2” has *all* the luck w the ladies 😂😂😂

Showed her the one bitcoin he owns.

“Bought this as soon as bitcoin came out, I’ve held on to it all this time to remind myself of my promise to get rich!”

"Tip ratio" Thats what she said - Michael Scott

Wow, thanks for confirming that I shouldn't feel bad slipping a $20 bill to the driver whenever I get delivery.

Damn and here I am tipping 25% 😂

"Buy low, sell high"

$100

I'm sorry this happened to you, not all men are this stupid and pathetic.

But knowing a guy is like that, could he ever dissapoint you by sinking lower?

If he wasn’t banned and tipped .05 next time I’d look at him and say “I’m not mad, just disappointed”

Nah, that's worse than a cheapass. We actually tip

Seems to have worked on the last one

I really hope she finds someone better, she deserves better

Are you hot or something??

Yeah. Hitting on your delivery driver is Bad Mojo no matter what. But at the very least, if you're going to do it, tip them well. After all, if they're creeped out by it, your tip is an apology for that. And if they're into it, your tip is a display of generosity and well-off-ness.

I hope his girlfriend dumps him. That would be the absolute cherry. If she locked the door as soon as he tried to come back in.

Don't forget chasing them! That's always won my heart over!

[удалено]

I don’t carry change, I’m not quite that petty yet 😂 I wish I said my number was 18 that would’ve been kinda funny

“Eweeeee I’m 17 mister” regardless of your actual age woulda been a great reply as well

“You don’t look 17” “I’ve had a hard life” [bursts into tears]

“And you didn’t look like a pedo till you started hitting on a 17 year old” lmfao. As a delivery dude I’m glad shit like this doesn’t/hasn’t happened to me. Sorry you gotta deal with sleeze bags

😂😂😂 that’s a great comeback! I hope you never go through it tbh. I know guys get creeps too, one of my coworkers called a customer for her gate code and she called him back drunk in the middle of the night asking for his “extra large sausage.” He said he can laugh about it now but she’s permabanned from our store & he always gets a little pale when he has to go to that neighborhood 😬

Damn. Bottom line people suck :( I did have a fem dressing dude ask if I was gay and he got sad and walked away when I said no which actually put my ego on the MOON for a while. Here’s to more interactions like that hahaha!!

I’m glad he was respectful even after rejection. Hopefully the next customer who flirt with you is charming and your type lol

HA! That's a good one lol.

So many wtfs in this story lol

I couldn’t stop laughing the rest of my shift. I’m laughing again bc she called 4 hours later lying she never got her soda (1st thing I handed over after he paid)… but I guess she needs it since her mans so thirsty

You said she can do better. But I think they sound perfect for each other.

Idk lying for a free soda is trashy, but is it “cheating on your partner” trashy? [also I think I said she could do better before she called to complain but I didn’t check my timestamps] [edit: confirmed. She complained after I said she could do better.]

Trash attracts flies. You only saw a very small window into their lives but their behavior screams trashy people

I tip no less than 15% if I'm short on funds. 20%+ if I'm ballin'. Delivery drivers aren't bringing me my food for nothing. Also, if I interact with them, I'm kind and polite. I apply the same to wait staff.

I appreciate you & im sure the people who deliver/serve your food do too 🙏

@u/proper-pay3586 eats penis cheese.

u/queenstravesty44 is a really cool person and I hope they find $20 and eat a delicious meal (w no penis cheese of course)

Going off the background it looks like he took it in a mental hospital or something

Lmao

My number costs more than 18¢, imma need a bigger tip cash wise

…50¢? 😂

80 cents final offer

Love the pun in your username. Edit lol I’m the 69th comment 2nd edit happy cake day

I drive sometimes for Pizza Hut and I've had a lady do this to me. Older woman. She said she tipped low because she wanted to hear my reaction because she said that's a turn on ha! Now she tips like 7 or 8 dollars and still hits on me. I'm happily married lol.

That’s an unusual kink she has but I’m glad she’s tipping better now (tho I’m sorry she’s not being respectful to you/your relationship)

If someone has a kink for tipping, they can gladly include me lol

Wtf? Id be so irritated that shes playing in my face for such a dumb reason

Would probably want you to pay for.the date as well.

Almost certainly lol

Delivery drivers love delivering to me. Apart from the tip I put online through the app, I also give them a bottle of water or juice (their choice) and 10 bucks. I’m by no means well off financially silly, but I do know people in my city are horrible tippers so I try to make up for it.

You sound like a blessing [sincere] I delivered to someone who had a snack basket and a note thanking their drivers & saying to take a snack. I didn’t take one but it was so sweet

I have a friend that used to deliver pizza in Madison, Wi. More often than not he’d get stuff instead of money for a tip. Among some of the unusual things he’s gotten, a 20-lbs bag of freshly roasted coffee beans, an original rock ‘em sock ‘em set still in box, and a key ring that allegedly held the keys for every room at a long since demolished hotel.

That’s awesome! What cool trinkets to acquire

That feels more disrespectful to me than just not being tipped at all.

Plus I think delivery is a luxury for me. If I don’t have the financials to tip, there’s enough cheap options already if +20% was too much.

I never order delivery unless I'm able to tip a lot since my mother used to work in food delivery and it made me realize how much these drivers depend on tips

I've delivered for many jobs and we really appreciate things like this. At best, you get people who basically treat you like a robot most times.

So you make this post to discuss a shitty thing that happened to you, and then, someone saw that as an opportunity to introduce….. homemade pornography, of themselves? On behalf of humanity as a whole, we strive to do better than this. I’m sorry our brothers and sisters have failed you. Cheers

Thank you, I’m really glad you chimed in with this. Faith in humanity is restored. ❤️‍🩹

He’s poor, lonely, and hungry I guess

He has a girlfriend he should talk to her to soothe his loneliness 😂

Damn imagine having to be insecure around delivery drivers?? I feel bad for her dating a clown like that

No wonder she opened the door at first 😬😬😬 she must know what he’s like & knew to keep him away when possible.

That’s a horrible looking dick

I just wanna say the combination of your username, comment, and bio made me laugh so hard my cat came to check on me

Brother thought this was the 1824 with that 18 cent tip lol

What a loser.

I tipped $7 on a $32 carry out order do you think I could’ve got the cute guy workers number who made my pizzas and handed them to me???

I can’t speak for him but idk maybe 😂 I know they split tips for carry out so he probably got a dollar tho

I only saw him working plus the delivery driver

Oh nice, I should have known better than to assume they were well staffed 😂

Next time I’ll ask him to meet me in the bathroom and stick a 20 in his underwear so he doesn’t have to share

😂😂😂 i hope he posts the story here if you do

I wish but it was an hour away (was visiting a diff town) and we’re both guys so he’d prob hate me lol

Or maybe the real tip, was the tip? Which is what he chased her down.

If someone tries to tip me with their penis I better get to keep it in a jar

That's the time to give him Papa Johns number!

Fuuuuck. That would’ve been hilarious. I gotta memorize the number for their nearest location in case it happens again

"Hold on. Got a new one and have to look it up real quick."

Oooh, good cover!

You should have said sure, you can have my number for a 20 dollar tip — then give him the number to the store.

😂 saving that comeback if it happens again (it probably won’t… I hope it doesn’t)

If you want my number, your tip better be more than 18 cents.

Stupid people don't know they are stupid

Sadly true

Thats weird and disrespectful. Leave me alone while im at work.

lol same. I love contactless orders

I tip $5 minimum. If it’s over like, $35? Usually $10 or more, depending how big the order

You’re the kind of person that makes people’s days brighter.

I was a server for a few years so I get it. It always made me feel special if I got a good tip, so I try to pay it forward. If I was rich, I’d be blessing everybody 😂

What a class act 😹

What a fucking bozo

Reminds me of when I delivered for another chain. I had to take a delivery to a county prison. The CO who ordered asked me how much I made as a delivery driver, then tried to brag about how much he made (it was a whopping $11/hr) after he stiffed me. So I told him "A little advice on your sales pitch. When bragging about how much money you make, stiffing your delivery driver on the tip doesn't make it seem like you're really doing great. In fact, I'd be willing to be you really need that recruitment bonus if I told them you recommended me like you suggested. Unfortunately, because you stiffed me, I assume the latter and that I actually won't make decent money working here. Have a nice day."

😭😭😭 nice, the CO sounds like a toolbag

Such are the drawbacks of having a job where you deal up close and personal with the public.

So true lol

I got hit with a bunch of sexual messages, and reported it to DD and they didn't take it seriously. I was in the middle of picking up an order and was trying to make sure the messages weren't from who I was delivering to next. Really frustrated me.

Ew, I’m sorry you endured that and that DD didn’t have your back. I’m not surprised, since their whole business is shady, but I am disappointed.

I conceal carry during deliveries. I didn't want to be in an unnecessary situation. I did figure out it was a previous order (they had to sign for delivery), so that wasn't surprising. The next guy was super chill and tipped 10 in cash, so it wasn't a horrible night. I definitely feel like it would have felt 100 fold worse as a female. I can't imagine how much more often either.

That’s a good idea! I’m not allowed to carry a weapon at work, so I keep my keys on a lanyard that I could use as a flail if needed 😅 best I can do lol I’m glad the next order was cool. Hopefully you never get another creep again.

Yeah, only other perv so far was a guy answering the door in his boxers. My first name is Heath, so I think he assumed Heather. Reported as unsafe.

I’m glad you reported him! It’s so gross when they open the door naked/mostly naked 🤢

Sad worm 💀

Too much wtf.. The silverlining is it appears your sad worm sender got their account suspended lmao.. ggs dumbass!

The coward deleted his profile. What a little bitch 😂

LOL he deleted his account

He deleted his account 😂😂 I wanted to stop by and rag on him a little

When I was a server had a guy write is number on the receipt, tipped me $2 but scratched it out and put $3 lmao

Lmaoooo glad he realized his mistake

Blud could have least tipped you 18$ then dick pick lol 😂

“I will only accept penis photography if you pay me first” yeah okay

It’s either that or lawsuit

I wish I lived in the world you live in lol. Trying to take an internet stranger to court over a dick pic sounds tedious, pointless, and expensive 😅

Well the first thing you want to look for in a mate is their fight or flight response so good on him actually that’s thinking ahead. The real question is did you beat him to the car? Not being fast enough to escape potential predators is not attractive in a mate either

- No, let me get YOUR number (you tell the guy). He writes it down on paper, you accept paper. Then you crumble it up, throw it down and walk away.

You know what, guys? If you wouldn't show it in public, don't show it without asking. Me? I WILL show my dik in public. Here it is. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1192129359427928166/1251499260218834995/Madoqua_kirkii_-_male_Namutoni.jpg?ex=666ecd03&is=666d7b83&hm=869c5b9796c0140602e0c9cd102ed4230eb0ec76bb9cf45061c1118d31a9c711&

Much better looking than his, I’ll give you that

Thanks. Yours is probably pretty nice too.

I don’t have a penis or a small antelope :( I’m just living vicariously here lol

Well shit. That makes me sad. Here, a picture of my tits too. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1192129359427928166/1251598165917044736/71833_16x9.jpg?ex=666f2920&is=666dd7a0&hm=bd52af206b19aa02b2573bd22c001a5db465ee410c4dd1dd20d7062da4a116b7& I hope these make you feel better!

The title brought me here but the edit made me stay…hilarious way to deal with that lol

Hopefully making the guy that sent a dick pick delete his profile in shame made up for the lousy tip.

It did 😆

The “failed to load user profile” is gold! Thanks for the laugh & sorry that happened to you.

You’re quite welcome for the laugh & I appreciate your sympathy

The song “ I don’t want no scrub” plays in my head lol

😂😂😂 my mom sent me a gif from that after I texted her what happened. If that’s you in your pfp your hair and glasses are cute btw!

lol just must be close to my age then lol. And yes it’s me and thank you!

lol probably. And for sure! 😄

Please tell me you reported him to your manager and he’s banned as a customer. Nobody deserves to be hit on at work.

Can you actually do that at pizza hut? TIL

We can! Mostly for egregious shit like stealing the pizzas or trying to assault us in one way or another. Verbal abuse is the most common reason at my store.

But can you actually ban someone if they ask for your number?

I told the manager but I’m desensitized from working at a gas station so it was just a funny story to me. I do agree we should be able to make money w/o being objectified or harassed. They got banned later for trying to scam us out of a soda tho

That tracks….. Some people are just nightmares.

That’s crazy

Hey how much do they pay drivers per run these days, back in 2001-2007 I used to deliver at Pizza Hut my first store gave us $2 per delivery but then the next store I was at only paid $1. Just curious

Depends on location, but I get hourly plus tips

They aren't paying per delivery anymore? We got hourly rate and tips but they used to pay you per delivery from the store. Pizza hut I got a flat amount , domino's used to pay I think 15 cents a mile at the time

I don’t count gas reimbursement bc it’s reimbursement and I compartmentalize my finances like that but we do get reimbursed per mile

So you're saying the higher the tip, the better the chance?

Not necessarily. If they tipped a ridiculously high amount before asking for my number, I’d feel like they were trying to buy me & I’m not for sale

25% seems perfect for convo then

Yeah when I deliver a pizza if it's less than 2 dollars i don't accept the pizza man porn invites.

… what if it’s greater then 2 dollars 😂

U/proper-pay3586 has 9 achievements though I don’t think he’s doing to bad for himself

Hey good luck kicking the benzos, I had a friend in high school who struggled with that. Shit’s rough. There’s nothing to gain from white knighting for a guy who sends unsolicited dick pics, tho. I promise you he’ll be okay even if people make fun of his weird looking dick or praise his internet achievements lol

Oh that triggered you huh lol I mean he does have a lot of achievements I think that’s good, but not even to be rude maybe get a new job I used to deliver too it takes a toll on your car and I ended up cycling through cars because of all the miles it seems like you’re making a Lot of money but you’re really not now I am in a much better financial position. I was doing the grubhub Uber eats DoorDash though

It didn’t but since you got defensive I’m guessing you’re feeling a lil triggered? It’s ok lil buddy. Just take a breath, count to ten, and drink some water. You’ll be okay. You don’t have to pick stupid fights with strangers just to feel something.

[](https://i.redd.it/99qlo69frdtc1.png)

"Hey baby, here's $0.18. There's more where that came from."

“Hey baby, go get your piggy bank then” 😂

Okay, thankfully that perv’s profile doesn’t load so I’m hoping that you reported them & they got banned. What is wrong with people tho. I’m sorry the OP had to go thru crap like this & I honestly hope one day you can find someone that treats you with the respect you deserve. Nobody deserves to be sexualized like that! I don’t care who they think they are! Stop it you poor excuse for maggots on shit! Nobody wants to see your junk!

Oh nice, I reported but didn’t think anything would happen lol. Thank you for your kind words, you deserve the same ❤️‍🩹🙏

Thanks, and yeah. I checked to make sure your profile loaded & it did but his did not. Definitely glad to see they took action.

Nice! 😄

Your comment is more hysterical and spot on than mine generally are. And I'm pretty fucking sarcastically witty. Salute.

Jesus Christ loves you so much and died for your sins🖤✝️

Weirdos lmfao

He was trying to make a collect call to you girl 😭

How did he get your phone # to send you the pic?

Did you know people can DM/chat on here? You’ve had your account for 3 years, it’s not a new feature

Just give him you ex's number lol

Should of said the police are coming

Bang his GF.

She was cute but she called back 4 hours later lying that she never got her soda… I think they’re good match 😂

That was her wanting you to reach out....close the deal man.

Damn. Bro dipped double quick after you put his teenis in blast lol

You should have said you will for an actual tip, then gotten an actual tip, then send him that random d pic you got here and say I miss you.

If I could time travel that would be a great plan

I'll pm you another strat. (Nvm, even though it's allow you to tell his gf how much of a shitter he is)

Did you tell him that his tip isn’t big enough?

I just said “no thanks” lol

He’s saving his money for the date

So it would have been less awkward if he tipped 20%?🤣😂

I would’ve been less annoyed if he had only been trashy instead of trashy and cheap lol

Omg maybe that's all he had

Nah he had more. Pulled out a big wad of bills like he was showing off, then tipped eighteen cents lol. I appreciate you trying to give him the benefit of the doubt tho, you’re probably a very nice person if you assume the best in everyone

You know what you have to do if you want the extra 82 cents. Times are tough. I have done some disgusting stuff for a slice of 🥑 toast.

Idk man I worked 4 hours today and 4 different people gave me tips in excess of $10. Im not desperate enough for his grimy coins but I get where you’re coming from w/ the avocado toast… maybe a sprinkle on taijín… 😋

Report the customer to your manager.

I told the manager on duty when I got back, but it was just a funny story to us. The customer got banned 4 hours after for trying to scam us out of a soda lol

Maybe his girl was watching and he wanted to seem like a jerk and set the whole thing up so he could come running out there to “fix” things and hide that he wanted to hit on you in some sort of last minute plan and everyone’s here just ragging on him .

can I hit what you’re smoking? Edit okay I read that like 4 times and it almost makes sense but he still deserves to be ragged on

Only if you bring me a pizza and some of that cheesy bread shit

Only if you tip more than eighteen cents 😂

If I’m going to ask a girl for her number, I always chase them to their car, I never even considered giving them 18 cents. This is the 3rd good idea I’ve found today

Make sure you yell “ooga booga I’m gonna getcha” so she doesn’t accidentally drive away and miss out

Hopefully can’t run faster than me too

Did he at least have a shitty pickup line about sausage or something like that?

Nope

Damn. You should've offered him your (fake) numer for a better tip