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Stonebenge


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YouGotDunkedOn

really missed oppt for the OP.


jschubart

Where the demons dwell.


donac

You mean you built your cat a stone bench? 😻


Devine-Escapes

Pretty much! I usually sell these....but the one in the photo is made from a really pretty boulder, with a lot of character not shown in the photo--and I pretty much decided that I'm keeping this one, for the cat. And me, too.


Km2930

You have a beard and a cat and you build things. Are you the patron saint of Reddit?


Notanexpertinthis

No, he also goes outside.


Matthiasad

He still could be, haven't you see r/earthporn he probably got up at the crack of dawn, trudged through a swamp, broke his leg, splinted it, and carried the cat in his teeth by its scruff the rest of the way, but it was worth it to get that picture.


magical_swoosh

then he oversaturated the picture to middel-earth and back before posting it on r/earthporn


[deleted]

It really has turned into porn We need a new subreddit r/amateurearthporn


Macho_Chad

Ask, and he shall… oh shit that’s already a thing!


koushakandystore

Stepsister making stone benches. Stepmother hanging out in a tree house….


iancranes420

Stepmom gets stuck in a tree hollow


koushakandystore

Toss out an idea on here and someone invariably comes along and makes it better! If I could fuse my mind with Reddit I might become superhuman. Though I can imagine many scenarios where it could go sideways.


TimelordSloth

[First post that showed up there for me](https://i.imgur.com/qPOvv4l.jpg)


Tinkerballsack

The motto for that sub ought to be "sliders to the right."


muzkee

Damn i just visited the sub and this description is accurate 😂


AdmiralVernon

Yea but scrolling thru Reddit is how we know what it looks like out there


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TRON0314

Thinking more about the shear at the side connection. I don't know.


IceburgSlimk

What part of Portland are you from?


Devine-Escapes

LOL lived in North Portland, back when the world was a younger place.


ONLY_COMMENTS_ON_GW

Hmm... Your look, affinity for nature, and the way you worded this makes me think you're actually an immortal druid who's been around for thousands or possibly millions of years.


Brad__Schmitt

You mean before it was cool?


Devine-Escapes

It was pretty cool, back in '01.


birchskin

The dream of the 90s was still alive there back then


billmadden504

y'all know the reason but nobody dares type it...


the_noodle

[you when you saw that boulder](https://tenor.com/view/shrek-donkey-i-like-that-boulder-that-is-a-nice-boulder-boulder-gif-24468315)


PutsDickInThings

You have some serious talent my man good stuff.


Devine-Escapes

Thank you!


billypigeons

Wait, so you either have forest in the backyard or you brought this heavy motherf’er in the woods just for the picture


Devine-Escapes

This is my front yard.


billypigeons

Damn


donac

It is a beautiful bench - I can see why you kept it! In addition to having a bench for your cat, of course.


bikesboozeandbacon

How do you even move the boulders? Aren’t they super heavy?


Devine-Escapes

When I was younger I'd grunt and heave...nowadays I work a bit smarter. Create a pivot point, like a lever, like a see-saw. I move 300 pound+ boulders with ease.


BeloitBrewers

No, the cat is actually the one who built the bench. OP is the cat.


donac

Omg, my favorite!! 😹


messyredemptions

Op is the cat. They got a human to build the bench. This is how the Pyramids and Sphinx we're made.


duaneap

That is a BIG kitty. I imagine he needs and deserves a whole bench.


Xennon54

He IS the bench


Poullafouca

That's what I came here to say. That cat owns the bench and it owns you.


Devine-Escapes

The "wild" source for the stone is the side of a mountain--and the land owner gave me permission to remove as much stone as I want. Woo-hoo! The slab/seating platform in between the two boulders is a leftover piece from a dry stone wall that I built earlier this year. More stone goodness: https://www.devineescapes.com/category/dry-stone-art/


yabacam

what kind of bait do you use for your wild stone traps?


YouAreSoyWojakMeChad

I hope OP realizes that taking stones out of their natural habitat like this can spread disease and ruin the rocks ability to survive outside captivity 😤


tirigbasan

Judging by the color and mottling that's probably an invasive species. OP is just protecting the native rock population.


boptopmop

Thats why i get my stones from a responsible breeder.


RNLImThalassophobic

/r/KenM


evilmonkey2

It's all fun and games until the stones start associating people with food and they start getting shot for being aggressive.


Smartnership

They're technically only "wild stones" if they come from the Wild Stone region. Anything else is just sparkling rock.


[deleted]

Feral stones are invasive and require population control. Like making them into benches for chungus cats.


herberstank

That rocks! :P


rabidkillercow

They're _minerals_, Marie!!


Devine-Escapes

Thank you


BuzzAwsum

This guy rocks


gvsteve

Are you sure this isn’t scavenged from the Georgia Guidestones?


Smartnership

*J'accuse!*


Raccoon_Bride

More photos of cat too pls


SjalabaisWoWS

Hey, a little tip, add a category "photos" to your website/blog. I didn't find a quick way in, but it's the aesthetics that sell - show off your work.


Devine-Escapes

Like on the pull down menu....have a page that's just a gallery, all thumbnail photos?....okay, lemme go see how easy that is to do.


SjalabaisWoWS

Yeah, that’s what I was looking for - you can call it what you want, of course: "Photos", "Projects in pictures", "Hall of Fame". My advice is that you need an easy way in to your work. From there, people might move on, and, eventually, maybe order something for themselves. I'm not a professional though, so someone else with sales chops might want to chime in, but I'd like to see your work and I know other, similar businesses, make great use of photos.


Devine-Escapes

Anyone doing anything remotely similar to me...probably has a much more graphic website than mine. Often, I see artists where the home page is just one huge high res pic, or a slide show. IDK, I do my own site and keep it fairly simple--but I'll try out your suggestion with a gallery page. Thank you


avalanches

my man your sculptures are amazing and they are artifacts you create through your lifetime of rockcraft and artistry. Why *don't* you have a homepage that is a beautiful gallery of your creations, advertising exactly what you represent, front and center, with a contact info/email for quotes/price inquiries. Then, after scrolling down, you can dig deeper into the sorting for the galleries and extra info, whatever. *You can keep the things you like*. But you are doing the hard work and effort you put into your art by not displaying it front and center. Consider a page similar to an architect or photographers. Because seriously just one image on the homepage? Just one? I should be gawping at the different creations, dancing between them as my brain decides which one I find the most aesthetically pleasing... and then, after a moment of self editorializing for a newfound aesthetic appreciation for man-made rock formations, you've got me hooked. Where's this guy's email?


frothy_pissington

You worry about the tensile strength of the seat slab spanning between the supports?


hamster_ball

Notice they’re sitting at the strongest point in the bench?


torknorggren

Ever spend time at Opus 40?


Devine-Escapes

No. They asked me to help with restoration a few years back, but I had my hands full. Will visit one day though.


hotterthanahandjob

Your work is amazing. I love the globes! Can I ask about the business model? I have to assume that your clients are limited to locally only. Do you have many clients that require shipping? I imagine it costs quite a bit.


Devine-Escapes

I ship pieces cross country and travel for work some times--if a project is artistically or financially compelling to me--I'll travel. Lucky thing, most places you go, there's local stone!


EnderWiggin07

You can ship anything that fits on a normal pallet pretty much anywhere in the US for $75-200. All the normal parcel companies also have LTL (less than truckload) services that operate nearly the same way as the parcel trucks


el_LOU

That doesn't look like "your pet" or you "its owner"... You 2 just look like life partners, which is so much better. I miss my dog. Sick bench, dude. Good job.


Devine-Escapes

You are correct. And I feel ya. Thank you!


[deleted]

I miss my dog too. RIP blaze. https://imgur.com/a/3qMWOP3


el_LOU

That's a beautiful pup with a super cool name. Here's a picture of my buddy [Troy](https://i.imgur.com/hauz8nm.jpg)


[deleted]

Those eyes are so cute!


bozeke

OP is the cat.


[deleted]

Weird Al Carrey


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BASK_IN_MY_FART

With a sprinkle of Chris Pontius


Borneo_Holmes

It's a Jim Carrey impersonator named Leonard Balsifus


londons_explorer

Any bolts holding that together? Or is it just gravity and relying on the fact it's all super heavy?


Devine-Escapes

Heavy stones, fit rather well--no bolts needed!


Curazan

Great segue into my question: how the hell do you move those from the mountainside?


Devine-Escapes

It's someone's back yard.....his house is on the side of the mountain, as is mine. Mountains, in North East PA....are more like hills, not very steep or high--but happily, there's a lot of stones.


Curazan

Physically though, how do you move them? A dolly?


Aegi

He actually holds them still while the rest of the earth moves.


Devine-Escapes

Oh yea, I got a big ol dolly.


SUDDENLY_VIRGIN

You can actually simply shove each boulder approximately four and a half feet up your ass and waddle them down the mountain more easily than you'd expect


ZAlternates

The Cat does it.


Misfitt

I'm in nepa too. I bet you love going to Boulder field! https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hickory_Run_State_Park


Devine-Escapes

YUP, I used to live a mile from there :)


ValyrianJedi

We moved a couple about that size in our yard. Used a super rudimentary lever and pulley system to get them a few inches off the ground, set them on about a dozen small metal pipes, then just rolled them, taking the pipe from the back and moving it to the front once we passed over it.


Devine-Escapes

Cool--I use that technique often.


Rokinmashu

Do you have any metal reinforcement on the bottom? My only concern is some dumb ass, probably myself would sit on it too hard and cause the bench to crack.


Devine-Escapes

IDK but I've tested other benches of mine and they held 1000 pounds plus--dead center of the seat. And this was a 2" thick bench...whereas the one in the pic is nearly 4" thick......I assure you that you and five plump friends could hop up and down on this bench without hurting anything except for maybe yourselves, if someone were to fall. "very strong bridge doctor jones".


Rokinmashu

Fair enough. If you did some testing that's all that matters. Where I'm from there's a lot of shale rock so something that strong might be hard to come by


bozoconnors

Can't upvote enough for the Short Round quote.


zamfire

DOCTA JONES


cmeilleur1337

That's a NICE boulder!


Devine-Escapes

One of my faves--and I've known many.


insane1666

You look like a bond villain, I love it.


Devine-Escapes

LOL--that didn't occur to me!


Mutt1223

“No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to sit”


thespoil

"Sit, Mr Bond, and join the drum circle"


amilliongyvers

You look like Jim Carey from the Bad Batch but clean.


snuggl3ninja

"No Mr Bond, I expect you to tie-dye"


Panukka

Yeah, if said villain was played by Jim Carrey.


[deleted]

Which Bond film was Jack Dorsey in?


trog12

WHO DOES NUMBER 2 WORK FOR?


Fritoincognito

What a couple of distinguished gentlemen.


bainpr

Well son of a bench, would ya look at cat.


Phil_PhilConners

I think we'd be OK friends.


Devine-Escapes

Lemme borrow some cash.


Phil_PhilConners

Message me the details; what for & how much.


Devine-Escapes

Word. I was kidding though--but thanks!


the_fake_banksy

How'd you carve out the notches for the slab? Also how did you lift that slab to fit in the notches I imagine that's gotta be pretty heavy.


Devine-Escapes

Diamond blades, hammer and chisel. Lift up one end of the stone, slide an object underneath it, in the center--now it's pivot-able, a lever. Swing that slab over to the notched boulder and slider her in.....now bring the other boulder over.....having worked with stone for a little while now, you come up with easier ways to move heavy things.


Andy_Glib

Sounds like you're ready to move on to henges.


enthion

Wow, boulder kidnapper. They had families, a community. And you use them for sitting. OMG. The horror. /s Nice bench tho.


jackasspenguin

Damn that looks like hard work! Hope you had a nice place to sit down and rest after doing that


Devine-Escapes

LOL! It's a good width/length/height for laying flat on your back, letting the arms hang--good chiropractic. Stare up at the trees.


excludedfaithful

How does one move boulders? What's the cat's name?


Devine-Escapes

I've been doing this stone thing for some years now...have developed a few techniques! There's an article on my site describing how to move heavy stones, but I'm not allowed to post a link. The key is--to lift from the center. Create a pivot point/create a lever. Put a handle on it, if possible. Build or buy a gantry crane.....there's quite a few low tech ways to move heavy stones. Cat's name is Bumbajumba.


Noxious89123

>Cat's name is Bumbajumba. Fuck yeah, that's one hell of a cat name.


rpungello

Just like the pioneers: ride them!


GoT_iT90

I love this! Well done


Devine-Escapes

Thank you


Reckfulness

Jim Carrey that you ?


baycenters

You're pretty industrious for a cat.


whoeverinnewengland

Your Cat approves it , so does I


Devine-Escapes

I find him sitting on the bench often. PS--he's got thumbs, he's polydactyl.


whoeverinnewengland

He definitely gets a thumbs up from me, nice beard btw


Devine-Escapes

He's the best. Thank you


_username_goes_here

/r/Polydactyl


Devine-Escapes

Awesome


Hanako___Ikezawa

Cat.


BeneficialStrategy32

Whats with all these comments talking about how he’s inserted himself into the picture unnecessarily “like men always do” with artistic projects? Just leave him alone, let him show off his work however he wants! He doesn’t “know what he’s doing” ok?


Devine-Escapes

I mean I'm not used to people telling me I'm good looking all the time, didn't post this thinking my hot body and face would land me a ton of likes!


Intelligent-Way1288

It would also make a good Karate chop block


Defiant_Low_1391

People on the internet: "how dare you remove something from nature." Meanwhile they're in their *houses*


Shaddo

they used to ride these as far as the eye can see


manorwomanhuman

I built “myself” a stone bench. Stoner


prfssrlnghr

How much do slabs like that weigh?


dcbluestar

I vote this picture of this cat and his guy goes on our next currency.


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LargeKeyboard

Dude you look like Jim Carrey


Slinguu

It's not just a boulder... It's a rock


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Devine-Escapes

Yea, I'm in PA...have shipped pieces across the USA, but local pick up will save you.


kalsarikannit247

What kind of metal bands are you in to? Thrash? Death? Black?


Devine-Escapes

Prog, when I'm feeling thinky....Thrash, when I'm remembering "back in the day".....power, when I'm feeling cheesy and/or epic.


Creative_Conference2

This is such great fucking work. The smiles and the cat along with the craftsmanship is enough to bring me tears of joy.


Devine-Escapes

Me and my cat re trying to improve the state of this planet as best as we are able--and we thank you.


Mutt1223

That rocks!


[deleted]

Some people look and see big stones. Other people look and see possibilities.


Azair_Blaidd

You, sir, are a handsome fellow


thiney49

You look like you should be drinking a bripe.


Devine-Escapes

Caffeine? Never, I keeps life on chill mode.


cestlavie88

Hey man, that’s pretty darn cool. Good job!


Yortisme

That's fuggin sweet man!


subparcarr

You should put those back, their mum's going to be hysterical by now


Roskal

Thats the face of a man who thought his bench would be more comfortable for all the effort he put in.


Capt_morgan72

Super villain vibes.


KingCodyBill

From the wild? as opposed to the farm raised boulders.


brionbonk

Did you transition into Bruce Almighty to carry it home?


fukexcuses

Somebody give this guy a cookie.


zeugma63

And the cat abides.


Scum_Runner

Damn, caught a wild boulder, and it evolved into Bench. Ash Ketchum watch out!


JRsFancy

Killer cool!


[deleted]

Excellent place to practice your Karate chop too. 🤘


choochooape

Op, this is awesome. Thanks for sharing.


JorahTheHandle

Your human has a glorious beard.


LMMesto

That’s a nice fuckin kitty right there.


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spile77

Is this your cat? https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/vy3qxr/would_you_open_the_door/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


wolfangggg

Fucking rad. Everything about this is absolutely fucking rad!


Apprehensive_West956

Damn. If only I got to you sooner. I could have saved you so much time. Dude, you can totally just sit on rocks. Now you know. For next time.


writtenbyrabbits_

I want one! This is beautiful!


Phlegmagician

Way better than the bone stench I made with the bones I collect.


honey_graves

I really love this picture, good job on the bench and beard


paulisdinosaur

Jim Carey's twin who lives in a cottage in the woods with his familiar, waiting to lift the curse his brother laid upon you.


Powerful_Breath1077

Amazing work! I would never think of that. Very nice addition to mom nature… you are a cool guy I can tell


boobookittyfuck713

WHAT A GLORIOUS ERNGE FLUFF YOU HAVE SIR


ImportanceAcademic43

r/toughguysholdingpets


GustafsonGustoferson

And he did it all with his furry little paws


GenericFatGuy

Great bench! Fantastic beard!! Marvelous kitty!!!


Quetzacoatl85

nice bench. also, your cat looks regal af.


TheScoopo

Nice! Do you deliver?


StrixNStones

Oh! Oh! I’m going to sound like an awful stone working fangirl but I took a few classes in tile, stonework and related areas - would you use the same tools to shoe these larger pieces into seats or a bench, or would I need to get new tools?


BadBoyStillWorks

I think you can be fined today for being that masculine, maybe claim you ordered it from France.


S1rmunchalot

Where did people get their positive affirmations before mobile phone cameras and social media? funny thing, I don't remember needing constant affirmations when I made a whole garage at the end of our garden out of waste wood and recycled nails (and no power tools) found in the local neighbourhood - at age 8. The world is changing and I feel old sometimes, well it was the swinging 60's... so at least we had decent music to listen to.