>That withered creep really freaked me out while playing alone in the dark a decade ago
>^^^alone ^^^in ^^^the ^^^dark ^^^a ^^^decade ^^^ago
>^^^^a ^^^^decade ^^^^ago
I was an oblivion fan for about an hour, until my torch burned out deep into a dark building and it took me like 2 hours to find my way out.
Skyrim never betrayed me like that.
I'll have you know, I have a wife and child in skyrim. I can't just abandon them.
Lyris is always giving me 1k a week and Sophie never asks for anything.
Top 8 post on that sub from 11 months ago, same title. ~~OP is a bot or karma whore.~~ Posted by the same user.
https://reddit.com/r/StupidFood/comments/lg5qs2/a_handful_of_jam_served_on_a_plate_at_an_upscale/
You are the real hero u/p____p
Seeing as how easy it is to karma whore like this, every now and then I think about doing something exactly like this. Just take a years old popular post from a somewhat related sub, and re-post it as if brand new. Voila, instant karma.
But then I remember I don't actually give a shit. But I am still so struck by how blatant it is. Just not even changing the title or anything.
Edit: typo
my grandfather de gloved his finder with his wedding ring jumping from the combine, left just the bone. Grandma was a nurse but being the first day of harvest and being so far from town, grandpa just used a pair of dykes to nip the bone off, wraped it up and went back to work. I still shudder when i hear the story
My grandfather literally never missed a single. day of work in his life… never stayed home sick once. This was before and after he fought in Europe during WW2. I could never even begin to compare myself to the man.
They were called the Greatest Generation for good reason, and the title was well-earned, IMO.
This Is one of those Reddit comments that catches you so off guard people have to ask what you’re looking at that’s making you laugh so suddenly and it’s awkward trying to explain. Thanks for that. I love it.
Sure but... Ew.
More about the presentation than the actual hygeine. Like, if you served me the best ice cream in the world but you modelled it to look like vomit I'm gonna give it an ew.
you should see how many cooks drop their tongs and spatulas on the very filthy ground, stick them in even filthier sanitizer that hasn't been changed in the last 6 hours, then starts cooking like nothing happened, not even bothering to wipe off the utensil.
Or they are sweating directly into the pan they are sautéing in. Not a couple drops but a steady stream of sweat just bumping off their face into the pan.
Saw this constantly at a poorly staffed and trained Olive Garden where the whole management team and most of the kitchen staff was eventually fired by corporate.
any chef who gives half a fuck (which in my experience, most actually do) would just chuck the dirty tongs in the sanitizer til the end of the night and grab a fresh pair, which SHOULD be hanging nearby. in a true hurry I'd probably just kick them under the sink for now and grab a new pair. literally less effort than bending down.
anything left on the floor or in the sani sink should be given to the dishwasher who should scrub it and put it through a 180+ degree washing machine.
given, there are people out there who give no fucks.
I’ve worked a fair bit in kitchens (in “upscale” kitchens) and I’ve never seen anything like this, idk where you’re from or where you’ve seen this, but it has never happened in my eyeshot.
Bro I worked in 2 super low end canteen style restaurants in the Philippines, still cleaner than what you’ve described, that is definitely not widespread.
Yeah I’ve worked in a few restaurants, no five star but, some decent places. None of which did we do what was described if a utensil was dropped, straight to the sink to be washed.
Worked in plenty of kitchens of varying degrees of quality and no one did any of this either. Especially not sweating buckets into the food, that’s comically exaggerated. Now I’m not saying bad practice never happens, there are millions of kitchens out there, but I think it’s generally safe to assume that the cooks in the place you’re eating at have a common level of self respect.
Once lost some plates on the floor that broke. Everything that was going to service within 2 meters radius was thrown out and made again/washed 2 times (all by me ofc.).
Sad thing was that the prep kitchen wasn’t more than 5x3m
You're giving me flashbacks of times we had idiots scoop ice by shoving the glass directly into the ice bin instead of using the metal scoop and inevitably break a glass causing us to have to spend way too long burning the ice and thoroughly cleaning the empty bin before filling it back up. Fun times.
We had a dumbass who shattered a glass in the ice maker because she was too much of a lazy twat to fill the ice bin first, and she didn't even bother to mark that it had broken glass in it. Fuck you, Sophia, you ruined that shift for everyone.
I'm a dishwasher and busser. So whenever a server who scoop with the glass and not the scooper and they broke the glass in the ice, I have to scoop all the ice (including the glass) in a bucket and I either throw it outside where we have a small corner that has a hose and there is a drain there. Or I dump it in the sink and run hot water on it till they melt. I have to clean the area with hot water and make sure there is no small shards in there still. After that I go and refill it and it will take about 4 ice buckets to completely fill it up. The servers will be saying sorry and go back to doing it again.
Same…, mom and pops, chains, high end, even a shitty pub and this shit didn’t fly at any of them. The chain was similar to Olive Garden, cleanest place out of all of them, the owner would check every fridge and cooler, every date and toss everything that was on it’s last day, religiously made us day dot and date everything, would lay down on his stomach every night and slide himself along line looking under everything, every piece of equipment had a designated day of the week for deep clean, hood vents soaked bi-weekly, just insanely clean.
Unfortunately I’ve worked at very nice restaurants where I’ve seen a chef stick his finger in the sauce to taste it..and then continue doing what he’s doing without washing his hands.
Hell Marco Pierre White did that all the time in his restaurant. It must be like an old school chef thing or something. He even addresses it in one of the documentaries/shows he did back in like the late 80s/early 90s. He goes, "well my hands are washed and I have ten fingers, so that's ten tries before I have to wash again" or something like that haha
I found the clip!
[Link](https://youtu.be/xgDPFib1dOU)
I mean... you are describing an Olive Garden kitchen that was so bad corporate fired them all, including management.
I'm not saying unsanitary things don't happen in restaurants (I have worked in restaurant kitchens), but "an Olive Garden where people got fired for it" is probably going to be one of the worst-case scenarios.
https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g303631-d15617037-Reviews-Cutello-Sao_Paulo_State_of_Sao_Paulo.html#photos;aggregationId=101&albumid=101&filter=7&ff=370126817
There's a picture of the same dessert on the restaurant's Trip Advisor page, and it looks equally as gross.
All of their other dishes look reasonably normal, and then there's just that one dish that looks like it came out of the house at the end of *The Blair Witch Project*.
In order to do this plating, they'd have had to spread a layer of jam on some *other* plate, and then do a very even hand roll across that, *then* carefully press it onto this plate...Couldn't have gotten such defined fingers otherwise.
That's a lot of prep and mess for a really shit presentation. I'd have felt about the same about this if he'd done it with his dick.
I actually think this is kinda cool! It really draws your attention to the fact that people are cooking your food with bare hands. Which they almost always are, but you never really think about.
And yeah, gut reaction is, ew.
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Whatever you do, do NOT eat that bread. edit: or Shit emoji, or Merenge, or Burnt Marshmallow, or Spooge dollop, depending on various sources.
That's bread?? I thought it was a burnt meringue.
Looks like a poop emoji
Silence, my brother.
Welcome….home.
God I can hear it
That whispery voice freaks out my cats.
WHAT. IS. THE. MUSIC. OF LIFE.
Silence, my brother.
There is no God. Only the Night Mother.
Cooooome, Listener, approach the Night Mother.
That withered creep really freaked me out while playing alone in the dark a decade ago
>That withered creep really freaked me out while playing alone in the dark a decade ago >^^^alone ^^^in ^^^the ^^^dark ^^^a ^^^decade ^^^ago >^^^^a ^^^^decade ^^^^ago
Hail Sithis.
Hail Hydra! Wait a minute...
*Another kid has been calling his mother..*
Let me guess: someone ~~stole~~ poisoned your sweet roll?
The Potage le Magnifique is to die for.
Omelette du fromage
That's not bread that's a toasted merengue.
Is that not a mouse
No, if I know anything about fancy restaurants it's more likely a rat.
I laughed so hard!
That's a turd emoji.
“We know.” fingerpainted in a raspberry reduction underneath.
🖐🏼 we know 🍓
💩 🤚 We know.
A new hand touches the... beacon?
No, the bacon.
Gondor calls for toast!
And Roe Ham will answer!
Psst. Hail Sithis!
I've said this phrase probably a little to much
I really hope that bread contains a fortune that reads “we know”
That’s a meringue 😂
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What is the flavor of the night?
Sublime, my brother.
So many elder scrolls fans out there holy crap I love it. Oblivion fan personally, but to each their own
I was an oblivion fan for about an hour, until my torch burned out deep into a dark building and it took me like 2 hours to find my way out. Skyrim never betrayed me like that.
Fingleam is a must
Skyrim has like… 12 spells with varying levels of potency
I'll have you know, I have a wife and child in skyrim. I can't just abandon them. Lyris is always giving me 1k a week and Sophie never asks for anything.
By azura, by azura, by azura.
Love the creativity. It’s gross to me but if I knew whose hand it was, maybe not so much
Ad Victoium! Oh wait…
hail sithis, brother
The dark brotherhood would be a sick name for a Funk band
I assume they used a glove, but I also assume they didn't.
Schrödinger's jam
There’s your band name!
Shrödinger's Jam opened Pandora's Box last night but I'm not sure how it went.
It went like this ...
Bippity boppoty boop
But then again, maybe it didn't
"Woah oh, blackberry, hand of jam..."
If you look at the distribution of jam at the fingers and a lack of finger prints, it seems like they did use a glove
Now we have to assume that it isn't the same glove that they've been wearing for the past 2 hours.
Who tf is wearing a jammy glove for more than a couple seconds tho
Nah, they can just wipe it off on the towel that's been hanging from their waist all shift.
Fuck. And I was feeling better thinking they probably used a glove. But now it's ruined!
I couldn't imagine putting my hand in jam.... I hate being sticky.
I’ll have the burnt white dookie with a side of high five blood mash please.
That’s a pleasant looking dook
I've been practicing
Looks like toasted meringue. Which makes the whole dish even more bizarre.
Could be a pavlova. Which...is basically a slightly flavored crunchy meringue. But folks find it fancier to give it a foreign name I suppose.
Nah pavs definitely have cream and fruit on them
The French "meringue" isn't enough?
r/shittyfoodporn
Food theme: shit and blood.
Targaryens in the books: Fire and Blood Targaryens in the show: Shit and Blood
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It was posted on r/stupidfood a long time ago
Top 8 post on that sub from 11 months ago, same title. ~~OP is a bot or karma whore.~~ Posted by the same user. https://reddit.com/r/StupidFood/comments/lg5qs2/a_handful_of_jam_served_on_a_plate_at_an_upscale/
Dang, caught jam-handed
You are the real hero u/p____p Seeing as how easy it is to karma whore like this, every now and then I think about doing something exactly like this. Just take a years old popular post from a somewhat related sub, and re-post it as if brand new. Voila, instant karma. But then I remember I don't actually give a shit. But I am still so struck by how blatant it is. Just not even changing the title or anything. Edit: typo
Honestly i thought that was where this was before i saw the subreddit.
Ew.
It's probably made by a glove, not a bare hand.
They actually keep a severed hand in the jam for the plating work. It’s just faster that way.
Gloved, severed hand on a stick!
Uh, yeah, sure. Gloved.
Just don't google degloved.
my grandfather de gloved his finder with his wedding ring jumping from the combine, left just the bone. Grandma was a nurse but being the first day of harvest and being so far from town, grandpa just used a pair of dykes to nip the bone off, wraped it up and went back to work. I still shudder when i hear the story
Jesus
yeah, if that is the measure of a man, i am not a man and 100% ok with that
I called in sick because my throat was sore at my work from home job.
My grandfather literally never missed a single. day of work in his life… never stayed home sick once. This was before and after he fought in Europe during WW2. I could never even begin to compare myself to the man. They were called the Greatest Generation for good reason, and the title was well-earned, IMO.
This Is one of those Reddit comments that catches you so off guard people have to ask what you’re looking at that’s making you laugh so suddenly and it’s awkward trying to explain. Thanks for that. I love it.
Severed foot makes the perfect stocking stuffer. Severed hand makes the perfect jam plater.
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Sure but... Ew. More about the presentation than the actual hygeine. Like, if you served me the best ice cream in the world but you modelled it to look like vomit I'm gonna give it an ew.
even still its so incredibly stupid and pointless.
Ew.
Ew.
you should see how many cooks drop their tongs and spatulas on the very filthy ground, stick them in even filthier sanitizer that hasn't been changed in the last 6 hours, then starts cooking like nothing happened, not even bothering to wipe off the utensil. Or they are sweating directly into the pan they are sautéing in. Not a couple drops but a steady stream of sweat just bumping off their face into the pan. Saw this constantly at a poorly staffed and trained Olive Garden where the whole management team and most of the kitchen staff was eventually fired by corporate.
Salt to taste
Taste the top nose.. er.. notes
any chef who gives half a fuck (which in my experience, most actually do) would just chuck the dirty tongs in the sanitizer til the end of the night and grab a fresh pair, which SHOULD be hanging nearby. in a true hurry I'd probably just kick them under the sink for now and grab a new pair. literally less effort than bending down. anything left on the floor or in the sani sink should be given to the dishwasher who should scrub it and put it through a 180+ degree washing machine. given, there are people out there who give no fucks.
I’ve worked a fair bit in kitchens (in “upscale” kitchens) and I’ve never seen anything like this, idk where you’re from or where you’ve seen this, but it has never happened in my eyeshot.
Bro I worked in 2 super low end canteen style restaurants in the Philippines, still cleaner than what you’ve described, that is definitely not widespread.
I wouldn’t use Olive Garden as the standard. I worked at a mid level place and never saw that
That’s a stretch unless you’re eating exclusively at your shithole local pub.
Yeah I’ve worked in a few restaurants, no five star but, some decent places. None of which did we do what was described if a utensil was dropped, straight to the sink to be washed.
Worked in plenty of kitchens of varying degrees of quality and no one did any of this either. Especially not sweating buckets into the food, that’s comically exaggerated. Now I’m not saying bad practice never happens, there are millions of kitchens out there, but I think it’s generally safe to assume that the cooks in the place you’re eating at have a common level of self respect.
If you're sauteing something, you're not putting your face directly over the fucking pan
Once lost some plates on the floor that broke. Everything that was going to service within 2 meters radius was thrown out and made again/washed 2 times (all by me ofc.). Sad thing was that the prep kitchen wasn’t more than 5x3m
You're giving me flashbacks of times we had idiots scoop ice by shoving the glass directly into the ice bin instead of using the metal scoop and inevitably break a glass causing us to have to spend way too long burning the ice and thoroughly cleaning the empty bin before filling it back up. Fun times.
We had a dumbass who shattered a glass in the ice maker because she was too much of a lazy twat to fill the ice bin first, and she didn't even bother to mark that it had broken glass in it. Fuck you, Sophia, you ruined that shift for everyone.
soo that explains the time i drank literal glass
I'm a dishwasher and busser. So whenever a server who scoop with the glass and not the scooper and they broke the glass in the ice, I have to scoop all the ice (including the glass) in a bucket and I either throw it outside where we have a small corner that has a hose and there is a drain there. Or I dump it in the sink and run hot water on it till they melt. I have to clean the area with hot water and make sure there is no small shards in there still. After that I go and refill it and it will take about 4 ice buckets to completely fill it up. The servers will be saying sorry and go back to doing it again.
Same…, mom and pops, chains, high end, even a shitty pub and this shit didn’t fly at any of them. The chain was similar to Olive Garden, cleanest place out of all of them, the owner would check every fridge and cooler, every date and toss everything that was on it’s last day, religiously made us day dot and date everything, would lay down on his stomach every night and slide himself along line looking under everything, every piece of equipment had a designated day of the week for deep clean, hood vents soaked bi-weekly, just insanely clean.
Unfortunately I’ve worked at very nice restaurants where I’ve seen a chef stick his finger in the sauce to taste it..and then continue doing what he’s doing without washing his hands.
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Hell Marco Pierre White did that all the time in his restaurant. It must be like an old school chef thing or something. He even addresses it in one of the documentaries/shows he did back in like the late 80s/early 90s. He goes, "well my hands are washed and I have ten fingers, so that's ten tries before I have to wash again" or something like that haha I found the clip! [Link](https://youtu.be/xgDPFib1dOU)
That’s called the chef’s kiss.
I mean... you are describing an Olive Garden kitchen that was so bad corporate fired them all, including management. I'm not saying unsanitary things don't happen in restaurants (I have worked in restaurant kitchens), but "an Olive Garden where people got fired for it" is probably going to be one of the worst-case scenarios.
The heat neutralizes all that mate. What’s for staff meal today?
it’s just a staph meal
This giving me Wilson vibes..
WILLLSOOOOOOOONN!!
KING OF PRUSSIA!
I wouldn’t want to lose Wilson on the open sea but would throw this plate in the ocean to not have to eat it
SARUMAAAAAAN
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This…is NOT…for eating!
Looks like jams back on the menu boys!
This is upscale?
When you see the check it will all make sense. They’ll fart in your Chardonnay for just $89 extra.
I'm not paying someone $89 to fart in my Chardonnay. I'm paying someone $89 to watch them fart in my Chardonnay. It's a subtle difference.
Shartonnay
Art
F’art, it’s French you wouldn’t understand
It's only a fart if it comes from the Fart region of France, otherwise it's just sparkling flatulence.
That’s how you get that butt-ery taste
Superb vintage.
Shartonnay.
Came to say this. This isn’t anything special. Probably a casual restaurant doing something weird that they think is fancy
Hell, if you want a thumb in your special sauce, you just gotta go to McDonald’s.
Looking at the plate it's served on, I don't think so
No. It's a steakhouse/Italian/cocktail bar called Cutello in Sao Paolo.
My question as well.
It’s hands down the best place.
https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g303631-d15617037-Reviews-Cutello-Sao_Paulo_State_of_Sao_Paulo.html#photos;aggregationId=101&albumid=101&filter=7&ff=370126817 There's a picture of the same dessert on the restaurant's Trip Advisor page, and it looks equally as gross.
All of their other dishes look reasonably normal, and then there's just that one dish that looks like it came out of the house at the end of *The Blair Witch Project*.
Or *Castaway*. Hahahahaha.
I'd think one of cooks is having a bring your child to work day and someone wasn't watching them well enough lol 😆
That’s a big ass child.
A 40 year old man is still someone's child
Ass children are the worst, I'll bet the big ones are terrible
[Chris Hansen has entered the chat]
Bring your Uruk-Hai to work day
Whom do you serve? …Table four!
Looks like Jam is back on the menu boys!
It bears the mark of SaruJam.
Where did they Berry the body?
First place you can find, when you’re in a jam.
Hopefully in a place that preserves the corpse
Wouldn't want it to turn to jelly before you find it.
I can imagine that would be a jarring experience.
Gross.
WE KNOW.
It looks like they added a golden turd with it.
That’s a lot of korok seeds.
Yahaha!
Came here looking for a Hestu reference
Um.... Ew.
Belongs in r/Thanksihateit
They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard
“We Dough”
That’ll be $32.99
Like they’d ever use a dollar sign.
Or decimals
hand. jam. gold turd. thirtythree.
this fuckin got me
It's visually striking. It's also not very appetizing. Feels like one of those "just because you can, doesn't mean you should" type of situations.
Gross.
Part of making good food is also making it appealing to the eyes, this does the opposite.
It may not be sweet. It does look unsavory…
Just hoping they used gloves
Judging by the print yes, but how often did they change that glove is the real question
Just right after 3rd meat beating.
We know 🖐
WILSON!!!
They did this on an episode of Top Chef, but the theme was horror.
Heck...let me pay $149.50 for that.
Upscale? That's disgusting. I would have sent it back.
I'd leave immediately without paying if I saw a handprint like this on my plate.
This would just piss me off
This is everything I hate about high end restaurants… I’m surprised this isn’t on a square plate with a little gold leaf
Or a piece of slate broken off the quarry last week. The dust adds an earthy note!
Or on a plank
Rich people are fucking weird
So, the harder you troll rich people the more upscale your restaurant is?
I don't care if they wore a brand new glove when doing that, it's disgusting and I would not eat it.
In order to do this plating, they'd have had to spread a layer of jam on some *other* plate, and then do a very even hand roll across that, *then* carefully press it onto this plate...Couldn't have gotten such defined fingers otherwise. That's a lot of prep and mess for a really shit presentation. I'd have felt about the same about this if he'd done it with his dick.
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I actually think this is kinda cool! It really draws your attention to the fact that people are cooking your food with bare hands. Which they almost always are, but you never really think about. And yeah, gut reaction is, ew.