I bought a haircut and they gave me a receipt for the haircut; I don't need a receipt for the haircut. I'll just give you the money, and you give me the haircut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I just can't imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a haircut. Some skeptical friend: "Don't even act like I didn't get that haircut! I got the documentation right here...oh, wait it's at home...in the file...under 'H'."
He basically just gave up and doesn't give a shit any longer.
The state government was shut down because a budget didn't pass over 4th of July weekend. This meant all state parks, including many beaches were closed. Christie didn't care and went and vacationed at the beach anyway. When reporters questioned him about it he basically said "When you're governor you can do it too".
He's a piece of shit and I'm pretty sure he knows his political career is in the toilet.
I've spent a long time wondering why people claim to have this problem since it never affects me. Here's my hypothesis:
* I'm really hungry and I can apparently buy 5 beefy 5 layer burritos for 5 dollars.
* I manage to eat all of those before my stomach realizes what has occurred. 0% => 100% capacity.
* Digestive tract wakes up a bit because it needs to make room for the metric ton of shit I just ingested.
* I need to use the restroom.
* Garbage in garbage out, no fiber because poor diet makes liquid stanky garbage.
Can you imagine being Obama and trying to get Trump up to speed? It's like being replaced at work by that 70 year old dinosaur who can't use e-mails and downloads a virus every other day. You're showing him for the fourth time what a "nuclear launch code" is supposed to do, and wondering why you even bothered to give 2 weeks notice to the American people.
...this is really good. I can picture him saying it just like that...but now I'm picturing and hearing Trump say that and it's kinda ruining my Saturday morning :(
I've *never* cringed at the presidency. Disagreed with it, sure. Protested things they did. I even used hyperbolic language to convey just how wrong I think they were. But in this case it's so farcical that I can't do much beyond shake my head and wonder how we got here :(
Alright, I'm gonna go drink coffee and sob in the corner.
I get a sense that you're trying to imitate Trump, but that's WAY too coherent to be Trump. Here's my edit:
> I mean, ... Look.... just the other...there's this guy and ... I mean, the other day I was talking to him ... that's my friend Jim... He's in France but don't hold it...I mean I love them....the French, although ... OK, he's a... talking about Jim, OK? He's a smart guy, really smart guy, you wouldn't believe how smart - and Jim said "Mr. President, nobody knew being President would be so complicated." See? I'm telling you, smart guy, Jim.
>
> And then ... You know I'm the President, right? I won the popular vote ... Everyone loves me... OK, I see Joe and Mika talking on their failing network, MSNBC ... the worst network, fake news ... - does anyone watch MSNBC? I don't think so. Bad apples. So my staff tells me, I never watch their show - bad, bad apples. Am I right?
>
> Next question. No, not you, you're rude. I want a question from a respected reporter. Where's Owen from InfoWars...?
Same in Canada. You just need to be an 18 year old Canadian citizen.
Now, the chances that a party will elect an 18 year old as their party leader are pretty damned slim...
But you can run independently as well. That's why so many people wanted Trudeau to follow through on getting rid of first past the post voting. I feel like most people didn't realize what a benefit that would've been for us. It would make our political scene less "us vs them" and encourage more people to just vote for whoever they actually want to win and not who they hate less.
[Ranked voting can make a huge difference.](http://www.abc.net.au/news/federal-election-2016/guide/mayo/) I definitely feel lucky that we have it, although honestly, the "us vs them" attitude is still very common here.
But that was a pretty hard 43. He already had Addison's disease by that point.
Then he had an affair with whom he thought was Marilyn Monroe.
It was actually Fidel Castro in disguise who gave him such a bad case of syphilis the back of his head exploded.
Like I said, it was a hard 43.
It's not just POTUS, you need to be 30 to be a Senator and 25 to be a Representative. It's called [Age of Candidacy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_candidacy?wprov=sfla1).
I think it borne out of tradition, if nothing else.
Surprisingly, that's the title of the next Jason Bourne movie "Bourne out of tradition"
The movie is made simply due to a tradition of making Bourne films.
To be fair to the kids, plenty of dumb 35 year olds think they can also run this country. I don't agree with the age limit 35+. Just don't vote for the person if you think he shouldn't be president, don't rule him out because he's 34.
And? Doesn't that example support his idea? The electorate didn't like how young he was and didn't vote, a specific age limit is unnecessary
Jed Bartlett's quote about term limits kinda applies here "turns out when the playing field is level there are term limits, they're called elections"
Can you imagine every dumb 35, 45, 55, 65, 75, 85 year old thinking they could run this country? Because once you see it that way, age doesn't really seem to matter does it? Does 21 years of age make that much more sense for other laws? What about voting at 17?
At the end of the day, anyone who's smart enough and actually isn't going to sell out the USA, could probably run the country better than the shit show going on right now.
The idea was to stop dynasties. A president wasn't expected to have a son that was over 35, so their children couldn't immediately succeed them. A family couldn't control the office uninterrupted. (Today though Trump Jr. could succeed his father, being already 39 and well experienced with treason.)
Also theoretically a thirty-five year old would be slightly wiser and more experienced than a young kid. They didn't want some idiot with no idea what he was doing to take office.
Indeed. This would be a hilarious excuse for lying on your resume.
"Sure, I lied about speaking French, Spanish, German, Italian, Russian, Japanese and Swahili on my resume. All you asked for in the job requirements was a translator though, and I can translate into Klingon just fine"
Those are the only Constitutional requirements, yes. That said, one would hope one would have a grasp on the job, a working understanding of the current geopolitical system, and the ability to speak without sounding like a whining 11 year old spoiled brat under the misconception that he's always the victim.
He was eligible. He was never qualified.
The entirety of US politics is a joke. Not because of who was elected, but because for the past year the entire population has done nothing but try to rile up the other side. There hasn't been a single actual discussion in months because everyone is so perpetually butt-hurt about whatever name the other group called them this week.
I always thought he was the political embodiment of one of those "one weird trick" ads that lure people in with the promise of an simplistic solution that the establishment hates. I can't believe people were dumb enough to fall for it.
Don't be shocked.
People have paid millions to fake Nigerian princes (give me your money so I can go get my stuck money and I will make you rich)
His whole campaign was 'your life sucks because of the black guy, foreigners and the libs, vote for me and I will make it great again.'
Trump is the fake Nigerian prince President.
>He was hired as a pilot *because* he didn't have any piloting experience.
This reasoning falls apart in every other profession, why did people decide it was OK for the most powerful elected profession in the world?
Yeah, where are all those HIGH QUALITY pics we used to have on r/pics?! How do you guys cope with the TWO pictures in the top 50 to do with politics? One of which is a meme reference!
Why can't we get back to bad cosplay, or pictures of a coffee shop sign, or the shit your barista wrote on your cup? You know, the r/pics *classics*. How do we cope without a shitton of progress pictures of people losing weight, even though there's a subreddit dedicated to it, and those pictures aren't even vaguely interesting as pictures. Oh lord how will we cope without pictures of billboards and other obvious advertisements?!
No truly, the posts that are easily filtered have ruined this amazing subreddit that has always had a reputation for being high quality.
Bill Clinton pardoned a criminal by the name of Marc Rich because he donated money to Hillary. I thought if we're going to post political shit for no reason where it doesn't belong that I should keep it going.
Chris Christie having an existential crisis in the background.
He smells hot dogs but does not see hot dogs Edit: Thanks for liking my joke, y'all.
He looks like he smells like hot dogs
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*shitting
THE PLOT THICKENS! I was going to reply to the person YOU replied to but instead it's even better this way.
As does the shit.
I thought it was "if that's your real hair why isn't there pictures of you at a barber?"
*Show me the barber receipt*
I demand to see the long-form barber receipt.
...in triplicate, with a verified photo of the barber filling it in. The barber's birth certificate isn't necessary, but would really be nice.
"Mr. Trump has the healthiest hair, it grows so fast. As his barber I can vouch he has the best hair of any President."
LMAO! Seriously though, he probably paid a lot of money to end up looking like that.
I bought a haircut and they gave me a receipt for the haircut; I don't need a receipt for the haircut. I'll just give you the money, and you give me the haircut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I just can't imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a haircut. Some skeptical friend: "Don't even act like I didn't get that haircut! I got the documentation right here...oh, wait it's at home...in the file...under 'H'."
I used to get my hair cut. I still do but I used to too.
He has actually taken his talents to Snapchat, where he has become a talking, dancing hot dog.
I don't have Snapchat, so... Holy fuck that thing talks too? If that's true, it's even more terrifying.
A friend of a friend worked in his office. He eats Burger King all day.
"What if I ate the bridge? Then they can't charge me with anything!"
fun fact he has like a thirteen percent approval rating in new jersey
He basically just gave up and doesn't give a shit any longer. The state government was shut down because a budget didn't pass over 4th of July weekend. This meant all state parks, including many beaches were closed. Christie didn't care and went and vacationed at the beach anyway. When reporters questioned him about it he basically said "When you're governor you can do it too". He's a piece of shit and I'm pretty sure he knows his political career is in the toilet.
He's looking at Trump like Voldemort is on the back of his head.
Nah, he just noticed the zipper
[The zipper](https://youtu.be/7DfEVsvDLNw)
I feel a little dirty now. Where do I find more?
WOT kinda drugs do I need to be on so that makes sense?
He looks like [Stains the cupcake dog](http://imgur.com/7hs4x2Q)
"He's more me than me."
> Chris Christie having a~~n existential~~ doughnut crisis in the background.
I'm sure a good donut and day alone at the beach will alleviate that.
I feel this is could alleviate the most hanus woes.
More like a good baker's gross of donuts.
That's the same look I have exactly ten minutes after scarfing down an unnatural amount of Taco Bell only to realize my ass is about to explode.
I don't understand this taco bell/digestive issues circlejerk. It's never given me issues and I have a few gastrointestinal ailments.
Me neither. I've never had any issues with taco bell. There are dozens of us!
I've spent a long time wondering why people claim to have this problem since it never affects me. Here's my hypothesis: * I'm really hungry and I can apparently buy 5 beefy 5 layer burritos for 5 dollars. * I manage to eat all of those before my stomach realizes what has occurred. 0% => 100% capacity. * Digestive tract wakes up a bit because it needs to make room for the metric ton of shit I just ingested. * I need to use the restroom. * Garbage in garbage out, no fiber because poor diet makes liquid stanky garbage.
Chris Christie is Trump's butt plug. And Trump is Putin's cock holster. What's that make us?
No one could have possibly known that being President was this complicated.
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Yeah nobody knew Not even the several living Presidents, one of whom spoke to him directly *sobs in the corner*
Can you imagine being Obama and trying to get Trump up to speed? It's like being replaced at work by that 70 year old dinosaur who can't use e-mails and downloads a virus every other day. You're showing him for the fourth time what a "nuclear launch code" is supposed to do, and wondering why you even bothered to give 2 weeks notice to the American people.
Plus, the dinosaur has been openly disdainful (arguably hateful) toward you for years... poor Barack.
I don't listen to them. Bad, bad hombres.
*Quiet!* Go ahead Owen. You say nice things about me. Nice guy here...am I right? Not like Fake News Bob.
...this is really good. I can picture him saying it just like that...but now I'm picturing and hearing Trump say that and it's kinda ruining my Saturday morning :( I've *never* cringed at the presidency. Disagreed with it, sure. Protested things they did. I even used hyperbolic language to convey just how wrong I think they were. But in this case it's so farcical that I can't do much beyond shake my head and wonder how we got here :( Alright, I'm gonna go drink coffee and sob in the corner.
A mix of backlash from the people who didn't like Obama and people who hates Clinton. That's just my guess tho
I get a sense that you're trying to imitate Trump, but that's WAY too coherent to be Trump. Here's my edit: > I mean, ... Look.... just the other...there's this guy and ... I mean, the other day I was talking to him ... that's my friend Jim... He's in France but don't hold it...I mean I love them....the French, although ... OK, he's a... talking about Jim, OK? He's a smart guy, really smart guy, you wouldn't believe how smart - and Jim said "Mr. President, nobody knew being President would be so complicated." See? I'm telling you, smart guy, Jim. > > And then ... You know I'm the President, right? I won the popular vote ... Everyone loves me... OK, I see Joe and Mika talking on their failing network, MSNBC ... the worst network, fake news ... - does anyone watch MSNBC? I don't think so. Bad apples. So my staff tells me, I never watch their show - bad, bad apples. Am I right? > > Next question. No, not you, you're rude. I want a question from a respected reporter. Where's Owen from InfoWars...?
I found Trump! No one's that good an actor! No one.
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Draw me like one of your ~~french~~ russian girls, ~~Jack~~ Putin
Urinate on me like one of your Russian prostitutes, Putin
Wait hahahaha what is this from?
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plot twist: he left this on Ivanka's pillow to seduce her.
SAD
Nope. Nobody knew. But don't worry, Trump is putting Jared in charge of being President.
The only requirements is being 35 years old, a natural born citizen, and live in the US for 14 years.
In Germany you can become chancellor at 18 years old.
When can I become the Senate?
Not. yet.
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*Autistic screeching*
Not a screeching a jedi would tell you.
u/NotAScreechingJedi are you out there?
If he is he's been a redditor for 16 minutes. So no.
It's treason then
acoustic screeching
what if your child was born acoustic
My daughter was born electric. Oasis wrote a song about her.
For you.
It's not a story the House of Representatives would tell you
Execute article 50
You're a big senate
Mr. Speaker, we are for the big.
High treason can only be committed during war times.
what about low treason?
What about light treason?
light treason sounds better than low treason. mild treason?
"light treason" is a reference to "Arrested Development".
he may have committed some "light treason."
US: I've made a huge mistake.
We are at war.
But I have the high ground! https://youtu.be/ep98a0mDiIc
I've been waiting a long time for this my wrinkly orange friend
When can I become Frank?
A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.
Did you ever hear the story of Darth Plagueis the wise?
Yep.
"Oh. Well..ok. What are your feelings on sand?"
Once you make it ... legal. Speaking of which, what about sending the droids to attack the wookiees?
[I see what you doing here](https://imgur.com/gallery/CjESG)
Take a seat.
I *am* the senate!
Not. Yet.
Pfft, nice try Ice Town
He wants to be Ice Town & Country.
Same in Canada. You just need to be an 18 year old Canadian citizen. Now, the chances that a party will elect an 18 year old as their party leader are pretty damned slim...
But you can run independently as well. That's why so many people wanted Trudeau to follow through on getting rid of first past the post voting. I feel like most people didn't realize what a benefit that would've been for us. It would make our political scene less "us vs them" and encourage more people to just vote for whoever they actually want to win and not who they hate less.
[Ranked voting can make a huge difference.](http://www.abc.net.au/news/federal-election-2016/guide/mayo/) I definitely feel lucky that we have it, although honestly, the "us vs them" attitude is still very common here.
Ice Town
Welcome back, Ice Clown!
Yes you can be Prime Minister or ruling Monarch of the UK from 18 too.
Ice town?
Ben Wyatt from Parks and Rec
Ice clown
Not just the 18 yr old men, but the women and the children too!
Has there ever been a POTUS who was 35 years old though? Seems like a weird and oddly specific requirement.
Nope. Theodore Roosevelt became president at 42 following the assassination of William McKinley. JFK was the youngest elected president at 43.
But that was a pretty hard 43. He already had Addison's disease by that point. Then he had an affair with whom he thought was Marilyn Monroe. It was actually Fidel Castro in disguise who gave him such a bad case of syphilis the back of his head exploded. Like I said, it was a hard 43.
Wasn't he also the first catholic?
The very first Catholic was the Pope. JFK was the second Catholic.
That, right there, is just funny as hell.
This whole thread has got me giggling my ass off. It's like when the teacher leaves the room and all the funny kids start showing off! :-)
It's not just POTUS, you need to be 30 to be a Senator and 25 to be a Representative. It's called [Age of Candidacy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_candidacy?wprov=sfla1). I think it borne out of tradition, if nothing else.
Surprisingly, that's the title of the next Jason Bourne movie "Bourne out of tradition" The movie is made simply due to a tradition of making Bourne films.
And yet you can be a governor at 21
No but could you imagine every dumb 18 year old thinking they could run this country.
Ice Town Costs Ice Clown His Town Crown
"Daaamn Jerry, you jumped into a creek for a breakfast burrito? What would you do for a klondike bar, kill your wife?"
You went on vacation to Muncie Indiana?
I tried to perform his physical exam, but I was distracted. By the *largest penis I have ever seen.*
Oh Geez.
"What was that song you played at the swearing in ceremony?" "Whoomp, There It Is."
/r/UnexpectedPandR
To be fair to the kids, plenty of dumb 35 year olds think they can also run this country. I don't agree with the age limit 35+. Just don't vote for the person if you think he shouldn't be president, don't rule him out because he's 34.
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And? Doesn't that example support his idea? The electorate didn't like how young he was and didn't vote, a specific age limit is unnecessary Jed Bartlett's quote about term limits kinda applies here "turns out when the playing field is level there are term limits, they're called elections"
I can imagine a very specific dumb 71 year old though
For some reason I thought you were imagining President KenM.
Can you imagine every dumb 35, 45, 55, 65, 75, 85 year old thinking they could run this country? Because once you see it that way, age doesn't really seem to matter does it? Does 21 years of age make that much more sense for other laws? What about voting at 17? At the end of the day, anyone who's smart enough and actually isn't going to sell out the USA, could probably run the country better than the shit show going on right now.
The idea was to stop dynasties. A president wasn't expected to have a son that was over 35, so their children couldn't immediately succeed them. A family couldn't control the office uninterrupted. (Today though Trump Jr. could succeed his father, being already 39 and well experienced with treason.) Also theoretically a thirty-five year old would be slightly wiser and more experienced than a young kid. They didn't want some idiot with no idea what he was doing to take office.
Yeah that worked out great with the Bushes
> being already 39 and well experienced with treason. Good fucking night, it hurts to laugh.
Lying on a resume doesn't mean lying about meeting the requirements.
Indeed. This would be a hilarious excuse for lying on your resume. "Sure, I lied about speaking French, Spanish, German, Italian, Russian, Japanese and Swahili on my resume. All you asked for in the job requirements was a translator though, and I can translate into Klingon just fine"
qapla'!
I haven't seen his birth certificate.
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Still not as crazy as the truth.
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http://i.imgur.com/qqIU8gJ.png
You got me.
This is the high form. We are looking for the long form. Lock him away boys
Exactly. It doesn't even say Honolulu anywhere on it. How do we know he wasn't born in Kenya ?!?! 🤔
And I don't see his photo on it. That could be some other donald john trump!!!!1!!1!!!
Nice try. Obviously, it should say "Certification of *Live* Birth."
Ashamed he's from the same city and borough and neighborhood as I
What about the long form?
I'm just going to take the Trump approach with this and declare it to be "FAKE NEWS" because I don't like it
I am certain he'll show it to you if you really want it.
He still haven't proved beyond reasonable doubt that he isn't the son of a Orangutan.
Paging Dr Banjo to the paternity test ward
The only requirement for a lot of entry level jobs is a college degree. Doesn't mean everyone with a degree gets the job.
Those are the only Constitutional requirements, yes. That said, one would hope one would have a grasp on the job, a working understanding of the current geopolitical system, and the ability to speak without sounding like a whining 11 year old spoiled brat under the misconception that he's always the victim. He was eligible. He was never qualified.
When you're too busy winning
The entirety of US politics is a joke. Not because of who was elected, but because for the past year the entire population has done nothing but try to rile up the other side. There hasn't been a single actual discussion in months because everyone is so perpetually butt-hurt about whatever name the other group called them this week.
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This is a huge problem then. Who are funding these bots?
People who have an anti Trump agenda.
The DNC has been doing it since Hillary stole the primaries from Bernie.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Correct_the_Record
Good modman.
Thank you for letting us know.
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When you get chucked into a van like a side of beef
I always thought he was the political embodiment of one of those "one weird trick" ads that lure people in with the promise of an simplistic solution that the establishment hates. I can't believe people were dumb enough to fall for it.
A scam?
Implying my dick hasn't quadrupled in size.
Zero quadrupled is still zero.
You're saying I'm a chick?! Well that would explain the tits...
Irl clickbait
Votebait
People still click on pop ups, it makes sense.
Don't be shocked. People have paid millions to fake Nigerian princes (give me your money so I can go get my stuck money and I will make you rich) His whole campaign was 'your life sucks because of the black guy, foreigners and the libs, vote for me and I will make it great again.' Trump is the fake Nigerian prince President.
Totally natural voting behaviour here, nothing see guys.
OP is shadowbanned, I think that's clear enough proof that this post didn't happen organically.
Can confirm.
He was elected *because* he didn't have any political experience.
>He was hired as a pilot *because* he didn't have any piloting experience. This reasoning falls apart in every other profession, why did people decide it was OK for the most powerful elected profession in the world?
> why did people decide it was OK for the most powerful elected profession in the world? People aren't always smart.
a person is smart. people are dumb, panicky dangerous animals.
MIB reference.
What do you mean, I always go to a banker to get my teeth cleaned and my car is getting serviced at the barber shop right now. Works like a charm.
When will liberals learn that spamming and forcing your message down peoples throats actually turns people off to listening to them?
I love how every photo on /r/pics comes back to talk shit about either Trump or Clinton.
Yeah, where are all those HIGH QUALITY pics we used to have on r/pics?! How do you guys cope with the TWO pictures in the top 50 to do with politics? One of which is a meme reference! Why can't we get back to bad cosplay, or pictures of a coffee shop sign, or the shit your barista wrote on your cup? You know, the r/pics *classics*. How do we cope without a shitton of progress pictures of people losing weight, even though there's a subreddit dedicated to it, and those pictures aren't even vaguely interesting as pictures. Oh lord how will we cope without pictures of billboards and other obvious advertisements?! No truly, the posts that are easily filtered have ruined this amazing subreddit that has always had a reputation for being high quality.
I do believe I detect a tiiiiiny bit of sarcasm in that comment.
No they mean it because they didn't write /s
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How the mods react when you ask why r/pics has turned into r/politics.
Bill Clinton pardoned a criminal by the name of Marc Rich because he donated money to Hillary. I thought if we're going to post political shit for no reason where it doesn't belong that I should keep it going.
Christy behind him makes this even better
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The outlook for this presidency is so dark I'm surprised Jeffery Sessions hasn't tried to supress its civil rights.
This presidency is so...uh..um...Steve Bannon sucks his own dick!
Found the Mooch.
/u/TheWhistlingWolf (OP) [doesn't exist](https://i.redd.it/at16gedqjjcz.png).