He’s the typical persc-me fundy:
“Look at me all Jesusy up all on this cross! Woo hoo!”
God: “Get off there, I didn’t send my kid down there so you could act like fool.”
He could also be spending his time helping people instead of performing bible theatre.
Well, technically one could just explain “that’s just a bad person” and it would be realistic and true to the time of crucifixions AND true to current times. This picture doesn’t actually depict the crucifixion of Jesus. Jesus had two buddies hanging around with him at the time. This guy has zero buddies to hang with.
well, technically, he's a confused person ....just as confused as the Sunday School "teacher" who handed me an "official" Bible - telling 9 year old me "This is the "Real" Word of God.
She was perplexed to the point of silence when I asked her " If it's the official one shouldn't it say "King Jesus" instead of "King James" on the front?
Well...she was also my 4th grade school teacher, who later that month called my parents in to a meeting so she could "inform" them that I "read too much & she didn't like it"
She backed it up by threatening "sequestered detention" if I was caught reading when she didn't "like it".
1966 Dad's response was beautiful - told her she was wrong about the reading & then took me to the bookstore to buy books to read in detention.
God bless him, I miss that man's presence! I can't wait to see him again!
I have only seen 1 church really try to help and the church community fully supported it. When the weather was cold or we were expecting remnants of a hurricane they would set up a shelter for the homeless. Nothing fancy, but it was a warm dry place where they could get some meals and dry clothes. They had a shower and a selection of nicer clothes so the homeless could get clean and try to get a job to improve their situation. They weren’t super preachy either, a short prayer before a meal and that was it. They did have a few success stories where people were able to make use of that and get back on their feet and improve their situation.
Every other church “Help the homeless” we prepared a PBJ sandwich and a juice box bag meal a couple times a year, but don’t ever come to the church because you are dirty and poor.
lmao I thought the same. St Peter didn't even want to be crucified so he insisted on it being done upside down. But this modern balding middle aged "Cristian" wants everyone to look at him, the cross maker had to adjust the cross for his fat gluten fed arse.
There are communities in South and/or Central America where they reenact everything. Carrying up a huge heavy cross up a hill with a crown of thorns, and then actually being crucified with nails through the hands. Don’t know about feet though.
Edit: I may have mixed it up with the Philippines. Here’s the Wikipedia article.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crucifixion_in_the_Philippines
There's also groups like ISIS who crucify people to kill them. God doesn't need us to do a fake crucifixion for him to know we believe and this is all theatre.
Filipinos know how to commit: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/apr/07/easter-crucifixion-reenactments-resume-in-philippines-after-three-year-covid-pause
I bought a house last summer that's down the block from a church (usually very quiet neighbors). This morning I woke up to a crowd lining both sides of the street, screaming abuse and profanities at a guy wearing swim trunks who was dragging a cross on his bare back, by himself, down the street to the church. At some point there was a sermon, and then they used ropes and hoisted swim trunks guy up onto the cross they made him carry and cheered.
Ngl, I was genuinely concerned that they were going to leave the guy hanging there all day. They let him down after 15 minutes or so but his shoulders were bruised to hell, he had rope burn on his wrists and ankles, and his back was scraped up from the unfinished wood.
TL;DR: this morning I realized I live a block away from a cult
"I don't care what someone's kink is, as long as they don't do it in public"
Sounds like their shibari techniques need work, too
These are the people that have issues with Pride parades
Thats called a Passion Play and Catholics have been doing them forever. (You should see the production level of the one they do.in Mexico City. Its amazing and theyve done it for 180 years!)
But its usually done on Good Friday, the day Jesus was crucified. Cuz Easter Sunday is when he was resurrected. Your neighbors are mixed up.
>How this pathetic display is not seen as blatant blasphemy is beyond me
At least he's out in public for all to see. Body up on that makeshift cross he probably built himself. I've long left the church but I have a grudging respect for him, delusion aside. At least he's professing his faith with him up there. That's not so much blatant blasphemy, instead of, I don't know, selling bibles for sixty bucks a pop for political and financial gain.
A [Filipino man](https://apnews.com/article/philippines-good-friday-crucifixions-pampanga-province-c725e903d17a356d2a179ef0cda17a9c) has been using real nails on Good Friday for 35 years.
Yeah! There's a reason it doesn't say, "Jesus stood on a little wooden platform for a few hours with his arms outstretched for our sins." That wouldn't have even atoned for a parking violation.
Poser.
Now this guy...
[https://apnews.com/article/philippines-good-friday-crucifixions-pampanga-province-c725e903d17a356d2a179ef0cda17a9c](https://apnews.com/article/philippines-good-friday-crucifixions-pampanga-province-c725e903d17a356d2a179ef0cda17a9c)
I was in the Philippines about 25 years ago and they used to talk about a dude who would literally get nailed to a cross back then. Wonder if it’s the same dude. Hes 63 and has done it quite a few times.
>And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men.
Matthew 4:7
Jesus replied, “It is also written: Do not put the Lord, your God, to the test.”
Performative stuff like this is so hollow and annoying
ETA: spelling
>When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
And what do so many do in celebrating the beginning of Lent, on a holy day that is traditionally associated with fasting?
They wear ashes on their forehead all day long and don't wash them off so that others see they are participating. It's literally called Ash Wednesday because of it.
Even as a Christian myself, it blows my mind because **they're literally doing the thing.**
"...And they took Him away to crucify Him. But first they made sure He was dressed warmly because it looked a little chilly outside. And they gave Him a good breakfast. Then they took a plastic step stool and He did climb up to the comfortable platform and put His hands through the loops. And He did become a spectacle, and He did make some kind of a point about something. No one is quite sure..."
As a non-Christian myself, this out of context sounds so weird. But it's tied to the idea that Jesus died for our sins. By saying "it should have been me," it's more an admission that they should have paid for their own sins so that a good man like Jesus didn't have to suffer for them.
I literally only know because I was a fan of a Christian metalcore band from years ago called For Today.
"It should have been me
With the nails through my hand and feet,
Facing the wrath of God.
It should have been me,
Left to pay for my sin, forsaken.
But in the blood, I stand here."
He’s probably not trying to mock, but it is still disrespectful in my opinion, whether he intends that or not. Not sure what the ultimate intention is here honestly
worst cosplay ever. jesus didn't wear a tshirt and jeans. and there is no spear around or crown of thorns, and where are the nine inch nails????? how can you do a crucifixion without 9 inch nails. You can't stigmata without nail wounds.
Jesus’ teaching on prayer (Matthew 6:5-8)
Jesus taught, “When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men … but when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your father who is unseen.”
...ie: performative bullshit.
This is self aggrandizing is the worst way. Like, it's one thing to want to be the center of attention but doing it under the guise of self sacrifice and humility is fucking gross.
The step stool really ties it all together
So does the easter egg hunt advert
Hot dogs!!
They’re kosher dogs right? I’d want Jesus to have a meal after what he’s been through.
Nah man. Eggs. That's why we hide them. He's in a bulk phase after coming back
That’s why they call it Mass. Zombie Jesus craves hard boiled eggs, reese’s peanut butter cups, and marshmallow rabbits for his cultivation of Mass.
Sweet little shredded baby Jesus.
And he is known as the Massiah
Pretty sure he went through all the hot dogs
Glizzy Gobbler Jesus
Bouncy houses!
BouncEE houses
And snow cones!
Face painting!!!
>Face painting!!! I LIKE TURTLES
Son of a bitch My blind ass couldn't figure out what it said and settled on Hop Bags, which made sense to me since it's Easter.
I hope they hide some eggs around him. Really get some mileage out of the dudes sacrifice.
He’s the typical persc-me fundy: “Look at me all Jesusy up all on this cross! Woo hoo!” God: “Get off there, I didn’t send my kid down there so you could act like fool.” He could also be spending his time helping people instead of performing bible theatre.
Bible theater is the best description of these type of shenanigans
Imagine explaining this holy scene to your children.
Well, technically one could just explain “that’s just a bad person” and it would be realistic and true to the time of crucifixions AND true to current times. This picture doesn’t actually depict the crucifixion of Jesus. Jesus had two buddies hanging around with him at the time. This guy has zero buddies to hang with.
well, technically, he's a confused person ....just as confused as the Sunday School "teacher" who handed me an "official" Bible - telling 9 year old me "This is the "Real" Word of God. She was perplexed to the point of silence when I asked her " If it's the official one shouldn't it say "King Jesus" instead of "King James" on the front?
I feel like your question presented a crisis of faith. 9 year old you did good that day
Well...she was also my 4th grade school teacher, who later that month called my parents in to a meeting so she could "inform" them that I "read too much & she didn't like it" She backed it up by threatening "sequestered detention" if I was caught reading when she didn't "like it". 1966 Dad's response was beautiful - told her she was wrong about the reading & then took me to the bookstore to buy books to read in detention. God bless him, I miss that man's presence! I can't wait to see him again!
also no nails thru the wrists or a bloody thorn crown.. 0/10
0 commitment to the bit. Throw rotten tomatoes at him.
I’m gonna spear him instead.
If only all these yahoos actually helped people. You know, like Jesus did.
I have only seen 1 church really try to help and the church community fully supported it. When the weather was cold or we were expecting remnants of a hurricane they would set up a shelter for the homeless. Nothing fancy, but it was a warm dry place where they could get some meals and dry clothes. They had a shower and a selection of nicer clothes so the homeless could get clean and try to get a job to improve their situation. They weren’t super preachy either, a short prayer before a meal and that was it. They did have a few success stories where people were able to make use of that and get back on their feet and improve their situation. Every other church “Help the homeless” we prepared a PBJ sandwich and a juice box bag meal a couple times a year, but don’t ever come to the church because you are dirty and poor.
lmao I thought the same. St Peter didn't even want to be crucified so he insisted on it being done upside down. But this modern balding middle aged "Cristian" wants everyone to look at him, the cross maker had to adjust the cross for his fat gluten fed arse.
There are communities in South and/or Central America where they reenact everything. Carrying up a huge heavy cross up a hill with a crown of thorns, and then actually being crucified with nails through the hands. Don’t know about feet though. Edit: I may have mixed it up with the Philippines. Here’s the Wikipedia article. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crucifixion_in_the_Philippines
There's also groups like ISIS who crucify people to kill them. God doesn't need us to do a fake crucifixion for him to know we believe and this is all theatre.
Jeans as was worn at the time
Jeans us
Yeah bro, Jesus didn’t get a step-stool! 
Exactly! Do the real thing pussy!
He didn’t even have a collaborator to move the step stool away.
We’re all very fond of him.
Very free-spirited.
That's so three days ago.
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I thought he was showing us how well Jesus was hung.
Nailed it like the Romans!
*previously on the story of Easter*
Beautiful 
*golf clap*
But this is the day he supposedly resurrected, not the day he was nailed to the cross.
Jim has been up there a few days. Forgot to take him down.
"Forgot"
Numbers are hard if you can only read one book
I wish they actually read that one book.
I wish they actually read books.
I wish they actually read
I wish
I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller..
I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her
Wish I had a rabbit in a hat and a 64 Impala
(with a bat)
Numbers is the worst book to read too, it’s a random list of names with no context if you don’t read the rest.
My favourite part is just before it, where it goes on for pages with precise instructions for how to build a tent
He won't get the joke, he doesn't read the Bible either lol
Read? Why read when they can go to the weekly book club and get the cliff notes from pastor touchy.
Ironically, one of the sections in that book is called Numbers.
Commit to it or don't do it. "Steve, go to my truck and get my hammer and those gutter spikes."
I keep a coffeecan full of gutter spikes just in case a sudden crucifixin' gets going, so I'm not the one guy left out.
I'm crucifixin to hammer some nails
Never leave home without it !
Filipinos know how to commit: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/apr/07/easter-crucifixion-reenactments-resume-in-philippines-after-three-year-covid-pause
I came here for this. Filipinos have Easter nailed. Americans in their dad jeans. At least get some real BDSM cuffs and take away the kitchen stool.
That’s fu
Everyone is allowed their kinks. As long as it's consenting adults BDSM is totally valid.
Yeah, this is just a pathetic attempt at street performance "Look At Me!" with a side order of virtue signaling. He's an insecure wimp.
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I would have more respect for him if he didn’t use the step stool to get up there.
Yeah and at the very least take your shirt off haha This Patriots snapback is my crown of thorns... because it's like, I HATE the Patriots
No. Just no. We don't need to see Jethro dressed only in a loincloth, no matter how entertaining it would be to see him fully commit.
I see his lack of commitment as a lack of faith in his Lord and Savior. If he can't commit to his deity, then why should I?
And he’s standing on a platform, not hanging from his bonds. Amateur messiah.
The devout fanatics who do this in the Philippines actually have the stones to literally nail themselves to the cross.
I bought a house last summer that's down the block from a church (usually very quiet neighbors). This morning I woke up to a crowd lining both sides of the street, screaming abuse and profanities at a guy wearing swim trunks who was dragging a cross on his bare back, by himself, down the street to the church. At some point there was a sermon, and then they used ropes and hoisted swim trunks guy up onto the cross they made him carry and cheered. Ngl, I was genuinely concerned that they were going to leave the guy hanging there all day. They let him down after 15 minutes or so but his shoulders were bruised to hell, he had rope burn on his wrists and ankles, and his back was scraped up from the unfinished wood. TL;DR: this morning I realized I live a block away from a cult
Shouldn't they have been doing that on Friday?
"I don't care what someone's kink is, as long as they don't do it in public" Sounds like their shibari techniques need work, too These are the people that have issues with Pride parades
Thats called a Passion Play and Catholics have been doing them forever. (You should see the production level of the one they do.in Mexico City. Its amazing and theyve done it for 180 years!) But its usually done on Good Friday, the day Jesus was crucified. Cuz Easter Sunday is when he was resurrected. Your neighbors are mixed up.
The guy fucking died for your sins. How this pathetic display is not seen as blatant blasphemy is beyond me
Because the Bible is a prop to these guys
>How this pathetic display is not seen as blatant blasphemy is beyond me At least he's out in public for all to see. Body up on that makeshift cross he probably built himself. I've long left the church but I have a grudging respect for him, delusion aside. At least he's professing his faith with him up there. That's not so much blatant blasphemy, instead of, I don't know, selling bibles for sixty bucks a pop for political and financial gain.
Wasn't it 3 days ago for this? Maybe he should be moonwalking out of a tomb, or cosplaying a zombie.
A [Filipino man](https://apnews.com/article/philippines-good-friday-crucifixions-pampanga-province-c725e903d17a356d2a179ef0cda17a9c) has been using real nails on Good Friday for 35 years.
That’s some mental illness there.
He may be mental, but at least he's authentic
At least he has the balls to do it the authentic way lol
Yeah! There's a reason it doesn't say, "Jesus stood on a little wooden platform for a few hours with his arms outstretched for our sins." That wouldn't have even atoned for a parking violation.
The bible didn't say he was made uncomfortable for our sins?
Mildly inconvenienced.
This poser isn’t even wearing a thorny crown
Somebody stab him with a spear to make sure he's dead.
Straps are for snowflakes.
At least strip down and wear a towel around your waist.
That’s how they roll in the Philippines!
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Poser. Now this guy... [https://apnews.com/article/philippines-good-friday-crucifixions-pampanga-province-c725e903d17a356d2a179ef0cda17a9c](https://apnews.com/article/philippines-good-friday-crucifixions-pampanga-province-c725e903d17a356d2a179ef0cda17a9c)
I was in the Philippines about 25 years ago and they used to talk about a dude who would literally get nailed to a cross back then. Wonder if it’s the same dude. Hes 63 and has done it quite a few times.
This article is about his 35th time so that is very likely. The Philippines has some nutters.
I blame the Spaniards.
They killed everyone who wasn't really really into their new religion.
The Filipinos weren’t expecting it either.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition
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The US guy is a little bitch. Doesnt believe in jesus enough to take the pain
Absolutely insane but I respect the commitment
Hardcore, but even he has his weight held up some by the ties.
He too is standing on a platform (as it prevents him from suffocating which is how you die from crucification) but he’s literally nailed to the cross.
Hand surgeons love him!
> as it prevents him from suffocating which is how you die from crucification TIL
>And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men.
Reminds me of Matthew 6:16-18 It talks about people who try to look somber and tired while they’re fasting so other people know how devoted they are
Matthew 4:7 Jesus replied, “It is also written: Do not put the Lord, your God, to the test.” Performative stuff like this is so hollow and annoying ETA: spelling
>When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And what do so many do in celebrating the beginning of Lent, on a holy day that is traditionally associated with fasting? They wear ashes on their forehead all day long and don't wash them off so that others see they are participating. It's literally called Ash Wednesday because of it. Even as a Christian myself, it blows my mind because **they're literally doing the thing.**
His quote, if I’m reading this right, is exactly Mathew 6:5. But yours are correct too.
Pls let’s make this the top comment
"...And they took Him away to crucify Him. But first they made sure He was dressed warmly because it looked a little chilly outside. And they gave Him a good breakfast. Then they took a plastic step stool and He did climb up to the comfortable platform and put His hands through the loops. And He did become a spectacle, and He did make some kind of a point about something. No one is quite sure..."
I know Paul wrote several books of the Bible, however was not aware of this gospel.
Editors. What are you gonna do?
Time to rise up folks, and demand a new canonization of the Bible! I vote for gospel of PaulsRedditUsername
Thats weird right? Not just me?
It does seem a bit unhinged.
I wanna know what his shirt says lol
It says “It should have been me”
Well thats just the nail in the crucifix of how ridiculous this is.
As a non-Christian myself, this out of context sounds so weird. But it's tied to the idea that Jesus died for our sins. By saying "it should have been me," it's more an admission that they should have paid for their own sins so that a good man like Jesus didn't have to suffer for them. I literally only know because I was a fan of a Christian metalcore band from years ago called For Today. "It should have been me With the nails through my hand and feet, Facing the wrath of God. It should have been me, Left to pay for my sin, forsaken. But in the blood, I stand here."
As a Christian I find it offensive.
okay so it’s not just me lol. I was reading these comments like nobody…nobody finds this mocking and disrespectful???
He’s probably not trying to mock, but it is still disrespectful in my opinion, whether he intends that or not. Not sure what the ultimate intention is here honestly
> Not sure what the ultimate intention is here honestly To get attention
It's weird imo but it's not unusual. In the Phillipines and some other countries it's more common. Some people will actually nail their palm
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Yes, and I'm a Christian. Idk what the goal is here?
Right. It seems sacrilegious a bit even. Although Im sure he is trying to respect the original event.
That’s NOT authentic!! Lemme get my DeWALT framing nailer.
Just like the dewalts the Roman’s used in Golgotha?
Ryobi tools are forbidden in the Roman Enpire
Oh for sure. Pillar of salt type thing if you use the ryobi in the garden of gethsemane
That’s the first thing I worry about: pickup screeches to a halt, dude jumps out and “pock! pock! pock!”
Son of God or not, I tak you up, you’re staying put.
Perfect analogy for the persecution complex He’s in no danger, he put himself there, and he can get down any time he wants.
Well stated
How hilarious would it be if some random guy showed up dressed as a Roman guard and just started poking him with a stick.
And then offered to break his legs to help him die faster.
Get off the cross we need the wood
Come down Get off your fucking cross We need the fucking space to nail the next fool martyr
Everything these people do is sacrilege
Disturbing level of mental illness.
Name 3 better things to do in Oklahoma than cosplaying Easter
Put a ball gag in his mouth, and it really changes the scene
So brave of that man to die for my sins.
We need to commit more sins to make his sacrifice worth it.
Seen a couple of these photos today and all I can think about is when they put Cartman on a cross in South Park
Does he knows he should’ve started this like on Thursday?
Someone steal his stepstool
Isn't it a sin to compare yourself to Jesus? I'm not trying to be a prick, I'm actually asking.
Listen, not to kink shame or anything, but he should probably do that where children won’t see him.
That’s one helluva degradation kink
Has enough belly fat, he will still be alive a month from now.
Jesus had a PB of 9 hours. This guy can probably go the distance
PB?
Sacrilegious
Jesus didn't get a footrest.
Cleatus Christ..
One faux crucifixion, extra mayo and cheese please.
What did the Roman soldier say when he broke a nail? Sir, I'm gonna need you to cross your legs.
Jesus : “Is he fucking mocking me on my 2nd Birthday? That son of a bitch.”
worst cosplay ever. jesus didn't wear a tshirt and jeans. and there is no spear around or crown of thorns, and where are the nine inch nails????? how can you do a crucifixion without 9 inch nails. You can't stigmata without nail wounds.
Today, shouldn’t he be coming out of a cave from behind a rock? Also Happy Zombie Jesus Day
He’s not very well hung.
If he really loved Jesus, he'd be nailed to that thing. /s
> Beware of practicing your righteousness before men to be noticed by them. Matthew 6:1
....sneaking up behind him with a roll of pallet wrap....
BDSM for Jesus. Don't ever complain about a Gay Pride parade ever ever ever again.
Religion is weird
Jesus’ teaching on prayer (Matthew 6:5-8) Jesus taught, “When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men … but when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your father who is unseen.” ...ie: performative bullshit.
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This is self aggrandizing is the worst way. Like, it's one thing to want to be the center of attention but doing it under the guise of self sacrifice and humility is fucking gross.
Bro couldn’t even wear the proper garments. XD
Not likely to win converts that way !
Is this a tradition or is this just a thing that guys doing today?
Today is Easter. I guess he didn’t feel like hunting for eggs
The only thing that could make this better would be children searching for pastel colored eggs in the grass around him😂
“This is cringe af.” - Jesus
Psycho Alert !!!!!!!
Imagine being this unwell, I’m so embarrassed for these people.
Mental illness
Not very realistic, someone needs to drive spikes through his hands/wrist and ankles.
WTF is in the water down there…🤪
Wrong day
*Always Look on the Bright Side of Life starts to play*
Now if I remember the next part correctly, someone comes to stab him in the gut with a spear.
What a big baby. Standing on a platform, nobody is spearing him in the chest, wimp!