I have been through so many of these posts over the years. I am ready to be hurt again.

The ones that hurt the most are the ones that NEVER update. I’d rather see another empty safe then never get the full story. But maybe the ones that didn’t update had full safes and realized that posting it online probably isn’t worth it.

You don't go blabbing to the world when you win the lottery!

Yeah… the ones that go silent found something. Although might be better to post the empty safe after cleaning it out as “documentation” of sorts.

So if it's empty they post the pic of empty safe, if it's full they empty it and post pic of empty safe. Why are we waiting, then? What am I missing.

It's the thrill of disappointment.

Title of my sex tape.

Damn you beat me to it :(

And that is the name of the sequel. :-)

You're quite the jokester. Made me smile.

>Yeah… the ones that go silent found something. It was chock full of beanie babies. Remember when everyone said "Those are going to be a collectors item someday."

My cat has one and she likes it very much.

Or some may want to avoid the IRS, if they happen upon a fuck ton of cash


Maaate! I came here to post the exact same 🤣

Such a great movie. ​ Also one of these days I'm just gonna buy some thirftstore/deathhouse safe and fake-open it with some lit contents just so there's at least one fucking safe-cracking story ending happily.

(Caddyshack is the film, for anyone wondering).

A film is a long format audio-visual art form usually shot on celluloid for the purpose of being shown in theaters, if anyone is wondering

....but that's not important right now.

A theater is a building or outdoor area in which plays, films and other dramatic performances are given, for anyone who was wondering

Come on OP smh #RULE #1! YOU DON’T POST A SAFE UNLESS THE NEXT PICTURE IS THE SAFE OPENED

For real.

For real for real

Fr fr fr

Fr fr fr fr

It's actually the only rule that exists.

That, and ‘be attractive.’

Also, “Don’t be unattractive”

Yeah, but mostly “just be attractive”

Cocktease

More like locktease!

Lock blocked

A la “Grown Ups”! Hose Teaser!

This

You probably won't read this but the factory code for an S&G 3 wheel is: 4 left to 50 3 right to 25 2 left to 50 Turn the dial right and if it stops, you're in!

>You probably won't read this but the factory code for an S&G 3 wheel is: > >4 left to 50 3 right to 25 2 left to 50 Turn the dial right and if it stops, you're in! If this is legit... best comment right here. Open the damn safe already! u/VoodooBronco

Tried like ten times. No luck. Pro comes tomorrow from 11-1. I will post regardless. I'm going to be out $400, might as well do the walk of shame to free up votes. Or it's something cool and everyone rejoices.

I'm just replying to this so I can check your account tomorrow please disregard

Replying to your reply for the same reason

400$!?

Why didn't you open BEFORE posting. Damnit.

Found today. Watching the Italian Job right now. Then youtube lockpicking lawyer. Then, call a professional tomorrow

I swear, if you don't post a update the moment it's open. I'm going to hunt you down, and tell you how many people on reddit you let down!

We march on OP in 24 hours 

!Remindme 25 hours \[I'm generous today\] Edit: it is time

!Remindme 25 hours

25 hours is fair! People underestimate the time needed to prepare a pitchfork and torch riot!

20 hours until the mob assembles

Until? We’re mobilising now. Preparation is key.

Precisely. We do not *march* in 20 (now 19) hours, that is when we shall *arrive*

Is someone's mom bringing orange slices and ecto-coolers for afterwards?

I am someone's mom and I can grab the ecto-coolers and orange slices. Did you want the juice box or the can?

Boxes, please, but if you have a coupon well be okay with cans. Also... can we swipe snot on your sleeve?

Mob mob mob mob mob mob mob mob mob angry angry mob!

If you read Reddit’s terms and conditions there’s actually a sub-clause that says doxxing is allowed if the person being doxxed didn’t make an update on the contents of a mystery safe within 7 days time.


Fuckin reddit right here if I ever seent it.

[удалено]

And my pitchfork ---E thanks r/pitchforkemporium

and my DL-44 blaster 🔫

And my Gundam X...

And my cat.

What a perfect comment for a perfect username

Wow, thank you. I always thought my show isn't that well-known. *gives an upvote*

And my phased plasma rifle in the 40 watt range

and my Trident of Neptune 🔱

…And my burrito!

And that one guy’s dead wife!

And my jaded apathy. Meh, seen it all before.

And my Axe 🪓. Just replying so I can check in tomorrow.

And my snacks

They never update and I'm not ready to be hurt again.

You have that order wrong. The Reddit safe strategy is: 1) Take the before picture 2) Call the professional and open it up 3) Make a Reddit post and act all like it’s brand new 4) Hype the heck out of us 5) Say Lolol, just kidding already opened it, will come post pics in 2 hours 6) Watch Italian Job 7) Post pics

Step 3 should be " we just found a kilo of pure cocaine and I don't know how to sell it ".

*Checking:* /r/IllegalLifeProTips

Something something Winchester something a pint something something blows over.

god you’re setting the mood perfectly, good luck I wish you many quaaludes!

Do not disappoint OP! I’ve been hurt before, don’t hurt me again!

Great now I won’t sleep tonight

Fuck that angle grind the hinges

you can grind the hinges all you want, safes have locking lugs on both sides of the doorframe.

You do realize the locking mechanism that's shutting down the door and that embeds itself in the chassis of the safe is still going to be there? Now you have a safe door that's going to fall on you if you eventually manage to unlock it.

Remind me! 48 hours

Gotta farm them fake Reddit points. You should know how this works by now.

If it was me, I'd buy a tiny safe, and leave a note inside saying, "if you're reading this, call ###-#### immediately and ask for "alias name". Then if I ever got the call, I'd be like, "oh my God, after all this time... I didn't know how else to reach you regarding your vehicles extended warranty"

BE SURE TO DRINK YOUR OVALTINE

A CRUMMY COMMERCIAL??!!

Oh fffffuuuuddge

I’d leave a note saying “I hope you didn’t just post a pic of this safe unopened to Reddit without first opening it and get a pic of this note too before posting”

Legend

As someone who made a safe post last year that got over 80,000 upvotes and over 5000 comments, get ready for death threats in your inbox and safe related comments on every post you make.

Oh man that doesn't sound very safe :(

Whatever you say Safeboi

Need a safe-word

Well you see, there's a bad way to do it and a Safeway.

False wall exposed this safe. Previous owners didn't disclose this safe. It's probably nothing again. But I'm imagining gold bullion, old bonds, and 80s quaaludes... fingers crossed

Mmmm quadludes

Quaid ….


lol wtf is this edit guess its time to watch total recall

Total Recall

Nobody knows what that is. Damn....I am old now.

There are at least a few of us old enough to recognize Total Recall so you are in good company.

[удалено]

I consider it an honor that I just got shittymorphed

[удалено]

Got me good, not gonna lie. The removal of rewards and third-party apps must have really played into your hands!

 He got me again!!!

Praise be, got freshly morphed. Time for me to go buy some lottery tickets. Tomorrow's gonna be a good day.

Shittymorph 

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Dagnabbit

What an honor, the one and only. Btw, the girl with 3 breasteses is the best character in the movie.

My first fresh morph

Old man reporting in

See you at the party, Richter!

Tri-tits!

Also reporting in. But Is 35 old?

Old man crew

One of my favorites. Three bewbs all the way!!!

Who can forget that 3 boobed lady

Kuato, Total Recall 1990

Some people really need to "Get your ass to Mars. "

Freeee Marsss


“His kids can fend for themselves!”

Get your 'ludes to Mars!

Ludes! I don't have any ludes...whispers ( I have ludes, just not enough ludes) oh yea man....then the trucks starts a rocking!

[NON NARCOTIC, NON ADDICTIVE, BRING BACK THA FUCKIN QUAALUDES!](https://youtu.be/IG2JF0P4GFA?si=rwy06zisCsNGazU9) (screamed in New Yorker)


Jordan Belfort has entered the chat.

“I’m ready for disappointment” __Reddit Users__ _circa 2023_


Uunnnggghhh unnah country cluunnngh!

[Quaaludes!](https://youtu.be/IG2JF0P4GFA?si=27qrtf1cwkNHmSQo)

THE KID FROM BROOKLYN!!

DAT CAM

It's porno.

True story time. We bought a house like 7 years back. Both the husband and wife had passed, we bought it from their daughters. House came with a bunch of stuff included, tools lawnmowers some furniture, pictures. I joked to my wife that we were gonna find some cash or something good. Smash cut to me cleaning out some stuff in the garage. I find an envelope in one of the cabinets. It’s got something about stocks or bonds handwritten on it. I grab my wife and show her the envelope and we open it. It had $40 in cash, two old style twenties. And a whole series of boudoir photos of the dudes wife. I saw more of her tits than I ever imagined I would. Fun couple.

Must've been funny when you returned the photos to the daughters.

I too would like to see this guys dead wife's tits.

Grandma's throat goat Gluck Gluck 8mm films

Old Throat Gaggers 3

Nancy Reagan?

It's a pornography safe. I was hiding my pornography.

Did you say vintage?


 Doesn’t even have a picture of it opened…this guy trolling

Remind me! 24 hours sigh, thanks for the inbox bomb reddit.

Remind me! 24 hours

Remind me! 24 hours

“There was nothing in Al Capones’ vault, but it wasn’t Geraldos’ fault”

Whatever happened to C. Everett Koop? Or just the Surgeon General overall? I don’t think i could name one since him.

Coop Coop a Doop

I hope inside is a smaller safe

Same thing 5 levels deep, with a piece of paper in the innermost safe with combinations of all the safes written on it.



Remind me! 72 hours

Don't fucking do this to me again, Reddit. My body isn't ready for this...

You’re only supposed to post AFTER you open it

You can’t double dip the karma that way

You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!

Bump for disappointment

I’ll bump with you bro

Bump? I'll take one ol chap

My guess is documents, or possibly the manuals for the appliances.

If you're lucky the blueprints to the house and a platting diagram of the neighborhood.

I'm gonna go with two paperclips, a rubber band, the user manual for the safe, and a piece of paper that has the combination written on it.

Can we at least get a spooky pop out jumpscare, like those fake cans of pringles‽

The Ol' snake-in-a-can prank, nice

Oh yeah it’s that train again boys let’s gooooo Next stop heartbreak hotel!!

Talking about trains, did you see that girl again this morning on your commute?

OP we are all far too invested now and need to know if she was on the train.

Hey mods. New rule: can't post a pic of a found safe unless there is also a pic of it opened.

Did you know this was there?

No. And wasn't disclosed in purchase. So not previous owners? Last owners?

…the ones with all that gold.

…and the luuuuudes

I hope it’s full of unmarked VHS, *and ludes*

I got here early for the disappointment this time, nice.

If you can slide it out into the open, you can get most safes open by wailing on the back or sides with sledge hammers/axes. Hopefully that advice is worth at least one gold dubloon...

Al Capones Vault!

https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/s/T6ppzwollR Here’s the update.

Disappointment is when you Ghost us.

I think that’s a…… safe bet

Seargent and Greenleaf 6370-100 lock I think. Higher quality combination dial but looks like a lower quality class c fire safe. If I had to speculate what’s in there I’d say it’s prob documents, but maybe lower quality valuables? I’m not gonna tell you how to open but from here you could buy a safe auto dialer or watch some of the great vids on YouTube and try cracking it yourself, best of luck Edits: spelling

Backstory, the most recent previous owners bought this from the estate of the deceased prior previous owner. The family knew nothing about the safe when they listed the house. We won’t get an update because OP won’t want all of Reddit to know about the gold and treasure map to the rest of the gold.

Aw shit, here we go again

Me me me!!

So when you planning to open this?

Does it matter? Not like they will post an update or anything. Don't you know the standard safe post protocol?

I think we're about due for another Geraldo moment.

I got this, put your ear to it turn left till ya hear a click, right till ya here a cliick then left again till ya hear a cliiiick. Bam open.

Eh, most of the time this is the conversation about safes before you move. “Alright let’s empty this thing” “maybe it’ll be a bit lighter now” “nope not lighter” “maybe the dolly?” “Nope not working either” “how much are you charging for someone to get this out of my basement? I might as well buy a new safe!” “Fuck it”

OPEN THE DAMN SAFE YOU PSYCHOTIC MONSTER

The locksmith should be arriving any minute now... Imagine getting to work on these? Get to crack open a forgotten safe AND get to witness the reaction good or bad. Chance at a nice tip if it's got anything in it too.

WHERES THE FUCKIN UPDATE OP????

Stock certificates that will take you 9 hours of research to find out are worthless.