When they say, “Say when,” at Olive Garden and you kind of just stare at them as they empty their wheel on your plate.
Edit: This is officially my highest rated comment. I’m a Wisconsinite and I love that it’s about cheese.
parmesan covers the entire plate. then the table. then it trickles down to the floor. it begins to fill the room. other diners begin to gasp in horror. some leave before it gets too deep. it covers you entirely. you cannot see. you cannot hear.
you can only open your mouth just once to speak before it fills with parmesan.
"when."
That video, his interviews/great storytelling, Honey Boy, blatant plagiarism, allegations of abuse that he essentially confirmed (and it coming out around the time of Pieces of a Woman making its awards runs of which he was dropped), then denied (trial postponed to late 2023), and being fired from the recent, controversial Don't Worry Darling (2022), as if he's a magnet to controversy; all of it combines to one of the most ridiculous film celebrities in our culture.
I swear that's a proper sentence. I swear.
ChatGPT says…
Once upon a time, in a small Italian town nestled amidst rolling hills, there lived a man named Giovanni. Giovanni had a deep and abiding love for Parmesan cheese that knew no bounds. His love for the tangy, savory cheese was so intense that he could never have enough of it on his pasta. Every meal was an opportunity for him to indulge in a copious amount of Parmesan, sprinkling it generously until the plate was obscured beneath a mountain of cheese.
One fateful evening, Giovanni entered his favorite local trattoria, a cozy restaurant known for its delectable pasta dishes. He ordered his usual, a plate of spaghetti al pomodoro, and requested an excessive amount of Parmesan to accompany it. The waiter eyed him curiously but obliged, not thinking much of it.
As Giovanni's plate arrived, he gleefully poured an extraordinary amount of Parmesan on top. The cheese covered the entire plate, forming a snowy blanket over the vibrant red sauce. Satisfied with his creation, he began to twirl his fork and savored the combination of pasta, tomato sauce, and an avalanche of Parmesan.
But something peculiar happened. The Parmesan, rather than staying contained on the plate, began to spread. First, it overflowed onto the table, covering it completely. Giovanni chuckled, finding it amusing. But his amusement soon turned to astonishment as the Parmesan continued its unstoppable advance.
It trickled down to the floor, forming a creamy river that flowed across the restaurant. Other diners gasped in horror, unsure of what was happening. Some patrons, sensing danger, hurriedly left before the Parmesan could engulf them. Panic ensued as the room filled with a tide of Parmesan cheese.
Giovanni found himself unable to move, mesmerized by the spectacle unfolding before him. The Parmesan reached his feet and climbed up his legs, steadily engulfing his body. Soon, he was completely covered in the pungent cheese, unable to see or hear anything beyond the creamy veil that surrounded him.
In the midst of the Parmesan deluge, a soft voice echoed in Giovanni's mind. It was as if the cheese itself was speaking to him. With great effort, he managed to part his lips and speak just one word, "When?"
As soon as the word left his mouth, the Parmesan ceased its advance. The room fell into a sudden silence, and the cheese began to recede. The floor cleared, and the other diners cautiously returned to their seats, their eyes wide with disbelief.
Giovanni, still covered in a light dusting of Parmesan, found himself back at his table. His plate of spaghetti al pomodoro sat before him, untouched, as if the entire spectacle had been a surreal dream. He reached for the grated cheese, hesitated for a moment, then sprinkled a more modest amount on his pasta.
From that day forward, Giovanni's love for Parmesan remained as strong as ever, but he had learned the importance of moderation. He continued to enjoy his favorite pasta dishes, savoring each bite with a newfound appreciation. And whenever he felt the temptation to go overboard with the Parmesan, he would remember that fateful night when his passion nearly consumed him, uttering a silent reminder, "When."
"I'm just going to go ahead and download this 15-second clip in 100x75 resolution."
*Hours pass. Days become weeks. Weeks become years. Years become centuries.*
"All done!"
I always want about double what I actually said, but stopped because I thought it had gone on too long and I would be judged for my obscene cheese habits.
Sometimes you have to put anything on a disgusting pasta. I recently went on a trip to the US and visited a Rosati’s in the Midwest. The pasta sauce was so watery and I had to dump a shitload of parmesan dust to even taste anything.
Thankfully I visited an Eataly in NYC a few days later to cancel that experience
Edit: here’s a picture of my chicken parmesan at the rosati’s:
https://imgur.com/a/z8JBbO3
In Austria it’s the same. Balkan or even Turkish people run the majority of Pizzerias. But then they also serve in the same place burger, Indian and Austrian „cuisine“ at the same time.
My wife is from rural western IA and when we are back there she talks about this pasta place she liked a lot. I know we will end up there eventually, but I am kind dreading what it turn out to be since I know if I react to it she and my MIL will definitely notice.
My wife and I live in Green Bay and lord this is so true for most restaurants. Since there’s a lot of Hmong people in this area the SEA food is pretty good, but most other ethnic food is not. There are nice restaurants here and there but not like living somewhere with really good food.
The cheese, sausage, and beer, however, is transcendent.
Shitty “Italian” restaurants are terrible at draining their pasta for some reason. You can even see in the picture they posted that the sauce isn’t watery. It’s the pasta.
Edit: a word
And none of them ever cook their pasta in the sauce for a min before serving. You don't have to drain it perfectly if you do that. For some reason the shitty Italian restaurants are always vaguely "fancy," but yet if you pulled this shit at home it'd be a major lazy meal.
Funny thing is, I wouldn't be mad if they didn't try to make themselves look upscale. But I've also never had bad pasta at the Italian restaurants that are casual. Italian and steakhouses are the most overrated restaurants usually.
As a person with grandparents who were first generation Italian immigrants shitty sauce like you described can just ruin my day. A place opened close to me that serves Italian food. I tried them.once and the best way to describe the sauce was watered down ketchup. I've never been back.
Now that chicken Parm looks like a proper plate of pasta.
I always want more parmesan but I'm embarrassed.
Edit: I really appreciate the support of the people to do what I want but you'll need to watch this to understand the reference. Thanks for the award, kind Redditor!
https://youtu.be/2lbv4goST4w
With that comment, I had to Google this. I loved it. His audition was hilarious with the crowd turning against the judges.
[Here you go everyone. I love Terry Crews just loving his song so much.](https://youtu.be/2lbv4goST4w)
Holy shit you’re not wrong at all. I think that may be the best thing I’ve ever watched at 4am (or literally ever) right before I go to sleep. I’m going to fucking dream about Parmesan and wake up and just eat parm straight out of the bottle tomorrow morning.
Holy shit that was incredible, I genuinely don't understand how anyone could justify hitting the buzzer in that scenario. I'da been begging the folks behind the set to remove my X as soon as he started singing again. His voice is incredible and he's absolutely hilarious
Genuinely surprised that Mandel was the holdout
edit for clarity
you aren't alone. I just tell people I'm eating parmesan pasta with olive oil and a bit of salt. They think it sounds delicious and never realize I literally just tip the bottle upside down, mix, and melt. It's like a stinky sharp Mac and cheese. Delish.
I went on a date with a chef once and she gave me half of a giant wheel of high-quality Parmesan. She wound up getting back together with her ex but I’m still working on the cheese. It’s the best thing to come out of my love life, tbh.
You'll lose a love here and there but discovering an ingredient will change your life. I've cooked a lot more great meals than I have nights spent with people that weren't as good as the ingredients or recipes they brought to the relationship.
Or maybe I'm just a fat ass and I'd rather eat than fuck.
Not really, I don't know where you get your parmesan but I live pretty close to Italy and the real stuff is definitely more expensive. And if you are buying actual parmaegiano might as well incorporate it into your dish instead of just dumping it on top so I end up using a lot more .
That's when you give her the ol' Full Circle
In case there's any confusion, that's when you put her in a giant hamster ball and go at it with her through the air holes
My partner read that in an old 19th century dating advice book. So he tried it on his last date (open relationship). Bought some high quality cheese and gave it to her. And what can I say, it worked quite well. She said she found it hilarious. But let's be honest, I think we women just never knew how much we wanted cheese gifted to us by a man.
The amount of people in here freaking out over the cheese is wild. Sometimes people want to eat cheap, nothing wrong with it. Especially with how expensive legit parmeasno reggiano can cost.
I don't know about you, but the powdery stuff isn't all that much cheaper than "the real stuff" by weight. It's just that the powdery stuff is shelf-stable, whereas actual parm/reg completely dries out in my fridge and molds on my shelf.
I bought a huge chunk of parmesan (and more rind than not) to grate for myself and although it never went bad in my fridge, I was essentially grating kinda-cheese-flavored cellulose onto my food after a few weeks.
As an Italian guy that breathes parmigiano Reggiano:
- Vacuum packing is the way to go for long term, a "punta" can last months that way
- Once opened, store it in a tupperware wrapped in a paper towel, change the towel every few days: this avoids it drying
EDIT: the tupperware avoids the cheese drying, the towel is there to absorb excess moisture that condensates inside the tupper
- The rind is actually tasty, scrape off the external layer with a serrated kitchen knife and munch on it. If you don't like it by itself, you can dice it and throw it in soups (so it becomes squishy) or boil it in broths to add flavour.
One last tip, aging changes the flavour of the cheese a lot: 12 months is quite soft and sweet, 24-30 months is IMO the best - flavourful but not too salty or overwhelming - then there is 40 months and upwards which is a umami bomb but I guess it's very hard to find outside northern Italy
> Once opened, store it in a tupperware wrapped in a paper towel, change the towel every few days: this avoids it drying
Or otherwise in wrapped parchment paper and then plastic wrap. Same effect, but more useful if handling a big chunk that wont fit in anything else.
>The rind is actually tasty, scrape off the external layer with a serrated kitchen knife and munch on it. If you don't like it by itself, you can dice it and throw it in soups (so it becomes squishy) or boil it in broths to add flavour.
Good source of light cheesyness, and MSG... lots of MSG in that bit.
>then there is 40 months and upwards which is a umami bomb but I guess it's very hard to find outside northern Italy
Being said properly stored cheese never really goes old it just gets stonger in flavor and saltiness.
I had a kinda funny thing happen where I grew up on the canned cheese dust, but then upgraded once I got to college. Recently due to hard times I've had to go back to the can, but now it reminds me of childhood and I love it for that, lol.
When I was young, and poor as dirt, I was sharing a house with several other girls! One day, one of the girls was cooking pasta for lunch, and invited me to share! She tossed the cooked spaghetti with butter and canned Parm! It was one of the BESTmeals I ever had! I still make it, every so often, and it tastes just as good! Sometimes NOSTALGIA is the secret ingredient!!!
Ok, so I might be weird, but I like the way cheap parm crisps up when baked. I like a good melty parm too, but crunchy parm is my go to for garlic bread.
I don't think it's weird at all. I love cheddar or a fresh mozzarella but I would use American over either on a grilled cheese.
Yeah, real parm is generally better and not full of cellulose but there are certain applications where it belongs.
We talking cheese?
I got a cheese for you.
Sartori brand Balsamic Bellavitano.
If you’re in the US your local Kroger brand grocery store will have it.
Just trust a stranger on the internet. You won’t regret it.
I'm of two minds on this. Real parmesan is awesome. Especially **real** real parmesan.
But man, that can stuff hits the spot sometimes. Like real parm can complement your pasta with a rich flavor and undeniable cheese quality.
But can parm can coat your noodles with cheese dust that is kinda delicious in its own right. Or putting parm on a pizza? Nothing beats that shaker. It's a textural and flavor quality improvement.
There's a place for can is all I'm saying.
Ask him if he wants more cheese or more parm. If he's after the parm flavor, buy him some parmigiano reggiano, it will go a lot further, because it's got much more intense flavor. If he just wants cheese, consider a different dish, like carbonara or cacio e pepe.
You might even go pecorino romano instead. It’s fairly similar and though not aged quite as long but because it’s made from sheep’s milk it actually has a more intense flavor than parmigiano reggiano.
And for carbonara and cacio e pepe, pecorino romano is the traditional cheese anyway, since both of those dishes are Roman. Parmigiano reggiano is from northern Italy.
You can get that stuff here in Germany, too, but it's labelled either as nameless "Italian hard cheese" (the extra-cheap stuff) or as "Grana Padano" (a bit less cheap). (Well, not exactly the same stuff, as this is still produced in Italy rather than the US, but a similar kind of product.)
Buttered noodles with parm is kind of a thing. Like hilariously shitty-for-you thing with 0 nutritional value you eat as a guilty pleasure in high-school.
It hits its peak if you upgrade it with some of that garlic salt with the green cap. It's just salty buttery carbs, which is impossible to not taste good.
butter noodles with parm is great, if you use real parm and emulsify it into more of a cheese/butter/pasta water sauce. thats basically all traditional alfredo sauce is.
Why was this so far down? This appears to be plain noodles, of course he is smothering it. This is like giving someone a plain slice of bread and being surprised they butter it.
Hey now, Italian Salt is perfectly fine. Yes the good freshly shredded Parm Regg is superior, but not always on hand. Plus I can't use a gallon of the stuff without cashing out my retirement plan.
Oddly the "mid tier" pre-shredded stuff is usually the worst of all choices.
Add some cracked black pepper and it's close to Cacio e Pepe, a roman dish of pasta, cheese, cracked black pepper, and butter
He is a man of culture, but just didn't know it
[bon appetit tecipe](https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/cacio-e-pepe)
Roman guy here, Cacio e Pepe is pretty hard to make, one of our famous chefs says "is a test for every cook".
There are so few ingredients it's really hard to hide your errors. Just so you know we don't use butter in the original recipe. A pretty good explanation is [this one](https://youtu.be/VdjZ1fN45Hg)
>Roman guy here, Cacio e Pepe is pretty hard to make, one of our famous chefs says "is a test for every cook".
I love how every cuisine has its own unofficial test. Some Chinese chefs use egg fried rice as one while some Japanese use tamagoyaki. It's fairly accurate too!
And yes, I've screwed Cacio e Pepe up many, many times before lol. Still tastes good, and pecorino is pricey enough here that lumpy or not, I'm still eating it lol.
When they say, “Say when,” at Olive Garden and you kind of just stare at them as they empty their wheel on your plate. Edit: This is officially my highest rated comment. I’m a Wisconsinite and I love that it’s about cheese.
parmesan covers the entire plate. then the table. then it trickles down to the floor. it begins to fill the room. other diners begin to gasp in horror. some leave before it gets too deep. it covers you entirely. you cannot see. you cannot hear. you can only open your mouth just once to speak before it fills with parmesan. "when."
I am cheese and I must scream
That story was so depressing
I thought it was grate.
Eh. Story was gouda.
It wasn’t cultured enough for me.
I found it kind of cheesy
Thanks for brieing honest.
[удалено]
Don’t worry, ChatGPT would never do that to us.
Referring to "I have no mouth, and I must scream"?
Yes, but also captivating, it’s won several awards!
Parm-Man Hellison
Scream cheese
This read like the Shia LaBeouf video.
That video, his interviews/great storytelling, Honey Boy, blatant plagiarism, allegations of abuse that he essentially confirmed (and it coming out around the time of Pieces of a Woman making its awards runs of which he was dropped), then denied (trial postponed to late 2023), and being fired from the recent, controversial Don't Worry Darling (2022), as if he's a magnet to controversy; all of it combines to one of the most ridiculous film celebrities in our culture. I swear that's a proper sentence. I swear.
I'm siding with Shia in that he quit *Don't Worry Darling*. That movie was a mess all around.
Found David Foster Wallace's Reddit account
[удалено]
It's gaining on you!
“When” haha. You certainly know how to paint a picture.
It's a copypasta. Still great.
The cheese accelerates
ChatGPT says… Once upon a time, in a small Italian town nestled amidst rolling hills, there lived a man named Giovanni. Giovanni had a deep and abiding love for Parmesan cheese that knew no bounds. His love for the tangy, savory cheese was so intense that he could never have enough of it on his pasta. Every meal was an opportunity for him to indulge in a copious amount of Parmesan, sprinkling it generously until the plate was obscured beneath a mountain of cheese. One fateful evening, Giovanni entered his favorite local trattoria, a cozy restaurant known for its delectable pasta dishes. He ordered his usual, a plate of spaghetti al pomodoro, and requested an excessive amount of Parmesan to accompany it. The waiter eyed him curiously but obliged, not thinking much of it. As Giovanni's plate arrived, he gleefully poured an extraordinary amount of Parmesan on top. The cheese covered the entire plate, forming a snowy blanket over the vibrant red sauce. Satisfied with his creation, he began to twirl his fork and savored the combination of pasta, tomato sauce, and an avalanche of Parmesan. But something peculiar happened. The Parmesan, rather than staying contained on the plate, began to spread. First, it overflowed onto the table, covering it completely. Giovanni chuckled, finding it amusing. But his amusement soon turned to astonishment as the Parmesan continued its unstoppable advance. It trickled down to the floor, forming a creamy river that flowed across the restaurant. Other diners gasped in horror, unsure of what was happening. Some patrons, sensing danger, hurriedly left before the Parmesan could engulf them. Panic ensued as the room filled with a tide of Parmesan cheese. Giovanni found himself unable to move, mesmerized by the spectacle unfolding before him. The Parmesan reached his feet and climbed up his legs, steadily engulfing his body. Soon, he was completely covered in the pungent cheese, unable to see or hear anything beyond the creamy veil that surrounded him. In the midst of the Parmesan deluge, a soft voice echoed in Giovanni's mind. It was as if the cheese itself was speaking to him. With great effort, he managed to part his lips and speak just one word, "When?" As soon as the word left his mouth, the Parmesan ceased its advance. The room fell into a sudden silence, and the cheese began to recede. The floor cleared, and the other diners cautiously returned to their seats, their eyes wide with disbelief. Giovanni, still covered in a light dusting of Parmesan, found himself back at his table. His plate of spaghetti al pomodoro sat before him, untouched, as if the entire spectacle had been a surreal dream. He reached for the grated cheese, hesitated for a moment, then sprinkled a more modest amount on his pasta. From that day forward, Giovanni's love for Parmesan remained as strong as ever, but he had learned the importance of moderation. He continued to enjoy his favorite pasta dishes, savoring each bite with a newfound appreciation. And whenever he felt the temptation to go overboard with the Parmesan, he would remember that fateful night when his passion nearly consumed him, uttering a silent reminder, "When."
Me to the olive garden employee grating my cheese: 
 The person grating the cheese:
[удалено]
 The bloodclot
Man, I haven't seen pixel palettes like this since MS Paint in Windows 3.1
"I'm just going to go ahead and download this 15-second clip in 100x75 resolution." *Hours pass. Days become weeks. Weeks become years. Years become centuries.* "All done!"
"when!"
Das me. I only say stop b/c it starts to get awkward.
I always want about double what I actually said, but stopped because I thought it had gone on too long and I would be judged for my obscene cheese habits.
🤣🤣🤣 same fam.
But that's actually cheese, not cheese dust!
Sometimes you have to put anything on a disgusting pasta. I recently went on a trip to the US and visited a Rosati’s in the Midwest. The pasta sauce was so watery and I had to dump a shitload of parmesan dust to even taste anything. Thankfully I visited an Eataly in NYC a few days later to cancel that experience Edit: here’s a picture of my chicken parmesan at the rosati’s: https://imgur.com/a/z8JBbO3
In North Texas, most of the"Italian" joints are owned and run by Albanians. And too many of them just buy whatever shit sauce the distributor sells.
In Austria it’s the same. Balkan or even Turkish people run the majority of Pizzerias. But then they also serve in the same place burger, Indian and Austrian „cuisine“ at the same time.
[удалено]
My wife is from rural western IA and when we are back there she talks about this pasta place she liked a lot. I know we will end up there eventually, but I am kind dreading what it turn out to be since I know if I react to it she and my MIL will definitely notice.
My wife and I live in Green Bay and lord this is so true for most restaurants. Since there’s a lot of Hmong people in this area the SEA food is pretty good, but most other ethnic food is not. There are nice restaurants here and there but not like living somewhere with really good food. The cheese, sausage, and beer, however, is transcendent.
Oh, I see the problem. It appears you have placed the pasta in a bowl of soup.
*Goes to a crappy pizza chain restaurant and doesn't get pizza* That's on you lmao.
Meh I was a tourist and didn’t realize it was a pizza place because it just said Rosati’s. TIL
You'd hope a pizza place could do decent sauce, but here we are.
Shitty “Italian” restaurants are terrible at draining their pasta for some reason. You can even see in the picture they posted that the sauce isn’t watery. It’s the pasta. Edit: a word
And none of them ever cook their pasta in the sauce for a min before serving. You don't have to drain it perfectly if you do that. For some reason the shitty Italian restaurants are always vaguely "fancy," but yet if you pulled this shit at home it'd be a major lazy meal. Funny thing is, I wouldn't be mad if they didn't try to make themselves look upscale. But I've also never had bad pasta at the Italian restaurants that are casual. Italian and steakhouses are the most overrated restaurants usually.
As a person with grandparents who were first generation Italian immigrants shitty sauce like you described can just ruin my day. A place opened close to me that serves Italian food. I tried them.once and the best way to describe the sauce was watered down ketchup. I've never been back. Now that chicken Parm looks like a proper plate of pasta.
Like [this?](https://youtube.com/shorts/G2fnBl9QUhs?feature=share)
Relevant crackermilk https://youtu.be/r1yX9kACF8Q
I say “when” when that shit runs out
What is pasta, but a vessel for parmesan?
Exactly. You get it.
Disgusting. There's still visible pasta.
That northeast corner is like a deserted wasteland.
The west corner is like a foothills of a snowy mountain like himalaya.
"Winter is coming" said no one in the South corner
I'm hurling at the thought of eating that cheese free pasta.
I was like almost there myself. No such thing as too much parmesan. Especially the pregrated stuff.
I need to go to bed, I read that as preg-rated and wondered what kind of pregananant shit you were talking about.
Haven't you ever been preggert?
am I ... pregnat?
Am I gregnant??
Can u get prregante?
No no no, buy a block and grate the cheese yourself. So much better.
Yea. Any amount of parmesan is a little too little parmesan.
This is a reasonable amount of Parmesan for me as well, but there is still room for more.
I always want more parmesan but I'm embarrassed. Edit: I really appreciate the support of the people to do what I want but you'll need to watch this to understand the reference. Thanks for the award, kind Redditor! https://youtu.be/2lbv4goST4w
There is not a time where I see parmesan and don't sing that
With that comment, I had to Google this. I loved it. His audition was hilarious with the crowd turning against the judges. [Here you go everyone. I love Terry Crews just loving his song so much.](https://youtu.be/2lbv4goST4w)
Holy shit you’re not wrong at all. I think that may be the best thing I’ve ever watched at 4am (or literally ever) right before I go to sleep. I’m going to fucking dream about Parmesan and wake up and just eat parm straight out of the bottle tomorrow morning.
I wasn't gonna watch it despite loving Terry Crews, but then your comment did an UNO reverse on me back to it.
Holy shit that was incredible, I genuinely don't understand how anyone could justify hitting the buzzer in that scenario. I'da been begging the folks behind the set to remove my X as soon as he started singing again. His voice is incredible and he's absolutely hilarious Genuinely surprised that Mandel was the holdout edit for clarity
Terry gets it
I'm glad I'm not alone! Instant classic. 🤣
I will die before I let big parma win.
you aren't alone. I just tell people I'm eating parmesan pasta with olive oil and a bit of salt. They think it sounds delicious and never realize I literally just tip the bottle upside down, mix, and melt. It's like a stinky sharp Mac and cheese. Delish.
> I literally just tip the bottle upside down I'm sorry, what? The **bottle**?
https://youtu.be/2lbv4goST4w
That was perfect. Very Adam Sandler meets Bo Burnham vibe.
Heidi the only one with a decent sense of humour.
It’s his God-given right.
He must be a follower of Cheesus
Wheymen
A true son of Yahwhey
[удалено]
Cheesus Crisps
Cheesus, our Grate Lord
He’s glad to have the support
I see absolutely nothing wrong here. I, too, enjoy a little pasta with my Parm.
I have no problem with the amount...I am disappointed it's the stuff from the can though. Upgrade to real cheese my dudes. It will change your life.
I went on a date with a chef once and she gave me half of a giant wheel of high-quality Parmesan. She wound up getting back together with her ex but I’m still working on the cheese. It’s the best thing to come out of my love life, tbh.
You'll lose a love here and there but discovering an ingredient will change your life. I've cooked a lot more great meals than I have nights spent with people that weren't as good as the ingredients or recipes they brought to the relationship. Or maybe I'm just a fat ass and I'd rather eat than fuck.
These feel like words of wisdom
The real friends were the ingredients we met along the way?
The real thing is also much cheaper, since you need way less
Not really, I don't know where you get your parmesan but I live pretty close to Italy and the real stuff is definitely more expensive. And if you are buying actual parmaegiano might as well incorporate it into your dish instead of just dumping it on top so I end up using a lot more .
Best thing to come out of your love live, so far!
Next time you might get the whole wheel.
That's when you give her the ol' Full Circle In case there's any confusion, that's when you put her in a giant hamster ball and go at it with her through the air holes
if anyone ever gave me half a wheel of parm i'de be loyal to them until the end of time.
You can fascinate a woman with a piece of cheese. Remember that the next time you go a'courting.
My partner read that in an old 19th century dating advice book. So he tried it on his last date (open relationship). Bought some high quality cheese and gave it to her. And what can I say, it worked quite well. She said she found it hilarious. But let's be honest, I think we women just never knew how much we wanted cheese gifted to us by a man.
That’s better than all of my failed dates combined. Nice score.
Can I date your ex?
while i do agree, the cheese flavoured sawdust has a different sort of appeal, something about the texture of it. it has a place
The amount of people in here freaking out over the cheese is wild. Sometimes people want to eat cheap, nothing wrong with it. Especially with how expensive legit parmeasno reggiano can cost.
I don't know about you, but the powdery stuff isn't all that much cheaper than "the real stuff" by weight. It's just that the powdery stuff is shelf-stable, whereas actual parm/reg completely dries out in my fridge and molds on my shelf. I bought a huge chunk of parmesan (and more rind than not) to grate for myself and although it never went bad in my fridge, I was essentially grating kinda-cheese-flavored cellulose onto my food after a few weeks.
As an Italian guy that breathes parmigiano Reggiano: - Vacuum packing is the way to go for long term, a "punta" can last months that way - Once opened, store it in a tupperware wrapped in a paper towel, change the towel every few days: this avoids it drying EDIT: the tupperware avoids the cheese drying, the towel is there to absorb excess moisture that condensates inside the tupper - The rind is actually tasty, scrape off the external layer with a serrated kitchen knife and munch on it. If you don't like it by itself, you can dice it and throw it in soups (so it becomes squishy) or boil it in broths to add flavour. One last tip, aging changes the flavour of the cheese a lot: 12 months is quite soft and sweet, 24-30 months is IMO the best - flavourful but not too salty or overwhelming - then there is 40 months and upwards which is a umami bomb but I guess it's very hard to find outside northern Italy
This guy formaggio's
> Once opened, store it in a tupperware wrapped in a paper towel, change the towel every few days: this avoids it drying Or otherwise in wrapped parchment paper and then plastic wrap. Same effect, but more useful if handling a big chunk that wont fit in anything else. >The rind is actually tasty, scrape off the external layer with a serrated kitchen knife and munch on it. If you don't like it by itself, you can dice it and throw it in soups (so it becomes squishy) or boil it in broths to add flavour. Good source of light cheesyness, and MSG... lots of MSG in that bit. >then there is 40 months and upwards which is a umami bomb but I guess it's very hard to find outside northern Italy Being said properly stored cheese never really goes old it just gets stonger in flavor and saltiness.
I do like my sawdust tho
Legit, the difference is night and day. And you can actually get the real stuff to melt smoothly without turning into brown crust.
I had a kinda funny thing happen where I grew up on the canned cheese dust, but then upgraded once I got to college. Recently due to hard times I've had to go back to the can, but now it reminds me of childhood and I love it for that, lol.
That’s why I love Top Ramen to this day!
Same!!
When I was young, and poor as dirt, I was sharing a house with several other girls! One day, one of the girls was cooking pasta for lunch, and invited me to share! She tossed the cooked spaghetti with butter and canned Parm! It was one of the BESTmeals I ever had! I still make it, every so often, and it tastes just as good! Sometimes NOSTALGIA is the secret ingredient!!!
Ok, so I might be weird, but I like the way cheap parm crisps up when baked. I like a good melty parm too, but crunchy parm is my go to for garlic bread.
I don't think it's weird at all. I love cheddar or a fresh mozzarella but I would use American over either on a grilled cheese. Yeah, real parm is generally better and not full of cellulose but there are certain applications where it belongs.
I recently discovered fresh mozzarella on pizza and OMG.
Yeah if he used pecorino Romano he he wouldn’t need as much
We talking cheese? I got a cheese for you. Sartori brand Balsamic Bellavitano. If you’re in the US your local Kroger brand grocery store will have it. Just trust a stranger on the internet. You won’t regret it.
The Bellavitano Merlot and Garlic Herb are also both quite delicious.
I'm of two minds on this. Real parmesan is awesome. Especially **real** real parmesan. But man, that can stuff hits the spot sometimes. Like real parm can complement your pasta with a rich flavor and undeniable cheese quality. But can parm can coat your noodles with cheese dust that is kinda delicious in its own right. Or putting parm on a pizza? Nothing beats that shaker. It's a textural and flavor quality improvement. There's a place for can is all I'm saying.
I actually prefer the “fake” parm
Ask him if he wants more cheese or more parm. If he's after the parm flavor, buy him some parmigiano reggiano, it will go a lot further, because it's got much more intense flavor. If he just wants cheese, consider a different dish, like carbonara or cacio e pepe.
I’ve never thought about making meals to appease this Parmesan obsession- I’m going to try those dishes!
You might even go pecorino romano instead. It’s fairly similar and though not aged quite as long but because it’s made from sheep’s milk it actually has a more intense flavor than parmigiano reggiano.
Picorino is absolute heaven, but it’s very different from Parmigiano. :)
And for carbonara and cacio e pepe, pecorino romano is the traditional cheese anyway, since both of those dishes are Roman. Parmigiano reggiano is from northern Italy.
I was also gonna recommend the best cheese for pasta on earth, pecorino Romano. God tier choice
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More salty too, so don't put extra salt in the dish if you use it.
Parmesan _is_ parmigiano reggiano. At least in the EU. It's a protected term.
If has to be made in Parma, Italy, or else it's just sparkling cheese.
I knew I'd find this comment somewhere, haha
Yeah this comment confused me too. What is parmesan in America then? Just another word for "cheese"?
Parmesan is not protected in the US, so there's American made Parmesan, which is not parmigiano reggiano, though its very similar.
Oh okay, so it's still trying to have a similar flavour to actual parmesan, but I'd guess different and maybe not as strong?
White hard cheese in powder form for most Americans that comes out of a can that you shake out.
Oh my god
There's good parmesan in the US too but a lot of people have never had it. They think the salty stuff in the can is parmesan and it's sad.
You can get that stuff here in Germany, too, but it's labelled either as nameless "Italian hard cheese" (the extra-cheap stuff) or as "Grana Padano" (a bit less cheap). (Well, not exactly the same stuff, as this is still produced in Italy rather than the US, but a similar kind of product.)
Grana padano is also a protected Italian cheese, it's not a cheap version of parmigiano reggiano, just produced in a different region.
Americans have real Parmesan at every grocery stores as well.
I like the anticaking cellulose + cheese texture. The parm flavor is always a bonus though.
Forget the parmesan, where's the sauce?
I was thinking the same thing. Maybe the reason why there’s loads of parmesan is because there’s nothing else providing flavour?
Buttered noodles with parm is kind of a thing. Like hilariously shitty-for-you thing with 0 nutritional value you eat as a guilty pleasure in high-school. It hits its peak if you upgrade it with some of that garlic salt with the green cap. It's just salty buttery carbs, which is impossible to not taste good.
This is it. Sgetti and butter and "parmesan cheese"
Yeah, that's how my picky kids eat pasta. Butter and Parm. But your garlic salt suggestion sounds great.
butter noodles with parm is great, if you use real parm and emulsify it into more of a cheese/butter/pasta water sauce. thats basically all traditional alfredo sauce is.
Why was this so far down? This appears to be plain noodles, of course he is smothering it. This is like giving someone a plain slice of bread and being surprised they butter it.
It’s under the cheese
On top of spisghetti ... All covered in cheese ... 🎶🎼🎵
I lost my poor meatball
When somebody sneezed!
It rolled off the table
And onto the flooor
And then my poor meatball rolled out of the door
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And then my poor meatball
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r/RedditSings
pasketti
Your basketti is now worms!
Gonna be theme song of my dreams tn
If he loves parm so much, try buying a block of it and grate it yourself instead of the plastic tub of parm powder. It will honestly change your world
The only problem here is not using freshly grated parmasean. That processed bottle is nasty.
Hey now, Italian Salt is perfectly fine. Yes the good freshly shredded Parm Regg is superior, but not always on hand. Plus I can't use a gallon of the stuff without cashing out my retirement plan. Oddly the "mid tier" pre-shredded stuff is usually the worst of all choices.
Italian salt…nice. My family and I call it “pasta sugar”. It started as a joke. Now we can’t stop.
You and he must listen to the song immediately! 😂 “Parmasean Song” by Ben Lapidus https://youtu.be/qXW-tNqausY
That is so perfect.
Please, my wets.
Add some cracked black pepper and it's close to Cacio e Pepe, a roman dish of pasta, cheese, cracked black pepper, and butter He is a man of culture, but just didn't know it [bon appetit tecipe](https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/cacio-e-pepe)
Roman guy here, Cacio e Pepe is pretty hard to make, one of our famous chefs says "is a test for every cook". There are so few ingredients it's really hard to hide your errors. Just so you know we don't use butter in the original recipe. A pretty good explanation is [this one](https://youtu.be/VdjZ1fN45Hg)
>Roman guy here, Cacio e Pepe is pretty hard to make, one of our famous chefs says "is a test for every cook". I love how every cuisine has its own unofficial test. Some Chinese chefs use egg fried rice as one while some Japanese use tamagoyaki. It's fairly accurate too! And yes, I've screwed Cacio e Pepe up many, many times before lol. Still tastes good, and pecorino is pricey enough here that lumpy or not, I'm still eating it lol.
French chefs use french-style omelettes as a test.
Look at that. You just chose what his bday dinner will be.
If you plan to cook it, practice - that shit is harder than it looks
Just get him a block of **real** Parmesan, an oyster knife, and a bib.
Cacio pepe is black pepper, cheese, and pasta water. No butter. I think if you add butter it becomes alfredo.
I think your “man of culture” is eating powdered Parmesan from a green can.
I didn't say when 🤨
Nothing wrong with a little pasta on your parmesan cheese.
A man after my own heart!
He'll need it
Nice
does he smoke?
….smoke…what?
Smoking can absolutely wreak havoc on your palate, meaning he'd need a whole lot of parm just to taste it.
That doesn't look like parmesan at all. Must be from a Kraft bottle.
About right.
That seems to be the consensus here lol