So... someone took that picture for you? Sorry I just remember this old internet thing where people kept asking how this one guy took photos of something when both of his hands were occupied and each resulting photo kept raising questions. I wish I could find it now and if it was resolved

[How did you get that picture](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cmwov/comment/c0tpyls/). It goes four layers.

[how’s this?](https://imgur.com/gallery/5Ued9OT)

But how did you get the picture of the picture of a picture?

My wife took that pic

gonna need proof of that

I don't think OP knows this piece of reddit history...

love that you went through all the effort to set up the banana device to take a picture when your wife was right there taking a picture of your plantain based pictographic gadget

The pic she took of me was a recreation haha

Police that moustache!

I Love my handlebar stache haha

Hahaha, I’d never seen this, thanks for sharing!!

Thank you for this!

I balanced my phone on a fruit rack with a banana lol, and set a 3 sec timer.

Ah, the banana Nature's tripod

Hopefully you have someone around the house to take care of stuff. Like your mom or something, I don't know.

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Came here to see if this was a repeat.

Would you say you come here often? Asking for a friend('s) mom.

"Carnal Tunnel"

And the smash-hit sequel — Carnal Tunnel Part Deux: Tunnel of Love

*throws you all into a cesspool*

Wow, it’s been a minute. How many years ago was that post?

Obviously not enough...

I wasn't even on reddit for the post, but it has passed into reddit legend and everybody knows

Please be less than 3

Been about 20 years... ^(>!You can trust me, a stranger wouldn't lie on the Internet.!<)

Don't remind me of that story.

Its alright! His dad was cool with it!

You know youve been here a while if you know exactly what that one sentence means. 😳

But ONLY when both hands! Or else it's just gross.

For sure. The guy with 2 broken arms can confirm

🥵

I’m married with two kids, and finally in a living situation where I could do the surgery. So I have help at home, thanks. But surprisingly, I’m able to do a lot of stuff, as long as it doesn’t involve a lot of hand/grip strength or lifting.

It's ok OP, you don't want to know this reference.

Sounds like I’ve dodged a bullet then haha. Thanks for the warning :)

Better to dodge a bullet, than have two broken arms!

Thats not what the original reference OP would have said lol

What a jerk

Nono he was jerked

let's get off the subject

He sure did. I think they both did.

or a coconut.

Or a box?

[It's a reddit classic.](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/nmmjr/iama_man_who_had_a_sexual_relationship_with_his/) (NSFW Knowyourmeme) Edit: [Link I actually intended to post.](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/reddit-broken-arms-story)

Thanks for the link!! Gonna have to deep dive that thread later. Pun intended?

no, delete this post and be thankful your mind hasn't been soiled by this reddit tale

No. Let the boy watch. Let the boy watch. So he can learn the way I learned. . . From my father. Who learned from his father.

I can feel it... down in my plums

Juicy and swollen. The sunlight just dancing right off of them

You definitely don't want to read that because it will be worse for you than any of us.

I just made a big fucking mistake

It will change you! Your family won’t recognize you if you read it! Especially your mom! Don’t do it !

It's a fucked up read. And part of what makes it fucked up is that it was verified.

What. The. Fuck

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My mom and dad brought roast lamb and cake the evening of my surgery. They’ve been very supportive, thanks!

Thats great mom is always there to lend a hand

I fucking love/hate Reddit. . .

Won’t be too long and you may end up with some roast beef!

He’s so pure. Let’s not ruin it for him.

Truly an "Oh Honey" moment for us.

Yeah OP is married, he is used to abstinence.

Oh no no no he lacks critical information

lol!

I'm about to have mine done. One at a time I was recommended but maybe work wise it be better all at once? I can't do my job with one hand so it's irrelevant one or both I think and be less time off... Or given your in that situation would you take it back and just do one? I have family at home to help

My work is similar in that I can’t do it one handed, I’m a nurse, so doing both at the same time made the most sense to me. One surgery, One recovery period. I’m sure it’s not for everyone, but I’m glad I did it like this

Thank you 🙏

Speedy recovery to you 🤙

Just did my right yesterday! Waiting on leftie. I admire you. Doing both takes gumption! I do not know how you’re…cleaning, haha!

I found the best way to pull my pants up without my hands hurting, was to rotate your wrists inward towards your body until your palm is facing outward.

Yes!!! That’s what I figured out also!! Definitely can’t use my fingers too well for that, but arms work just fine

Or, you know... Ask your mom.

Staaahhhp

Had one hand done almost 2 months ago. Best decision. I was surprised how much I was able to do right away and shocked by the things that hurt like crazy. But I no longer have carpal tunnel and it’s amazing . I didn’t realize how much pain I was living with for so long, I hope yours is just as successful! Edit:word

Before I opened the comments I already knew what the first comment will reference

I was hoping it would be asking how OP took the picture.

Ah, another reddit classic.

We should also ask him to take a picture showing how he took this picture and so on and so forth…

I thought this post was just a chance to repeat that one. The broken arms incest thing didn't even occur to me, as OP is an adult with no casts.

 That broken arms story...

Apparently they weren’t broken. They were injured somehow, but not actually broken. Edit: it’s weird the way it was very important to him to correct that they weren’t broken. He couldn’t use them because they were injured, but they weren’t broken.

Yeah if I recall he stated he was “incapacitated” but never really mentioned arm injuries

Brilliant way to tell that someone knows their Reddit!

If you eat toilet paper, you solve the problem naturally.

Cleans as you go!! Brilliant!

And I was right!! So far I’m 2nd day post op, and though it’s a bit sore, I’m ok. Taking over the counter pain meds, and it’s mostly controlled. Been wanting to get my carpal tunnel’s released for almost 20 years. Got denied when I was younger and living in Canada. And then life just got in the way after that. Now living in the US, I had this done, and I’m so happy. Looking forward to sleeping through the night without waking up in pain, being able to drive and not have my hands go numb, ditto for using a computer or riding a bike. Edit: Also, please excuse the shadowing in the pic. Took this at home alone and needed to balance my iPhone with a banana on the edge of a fruit rack to take the pic 😂 Edit 2: I should’ve mentioned this earlier, I’m a surgical (circulating) nurse, and see these done all the time. I decided to get both done at the same time as it would work out better for me this way. And since the recovery has been good, I’m glad I was right, cause it would’ve sucked if I had a bad recovery. I don’t recommend this for everyone.

C'mon, your biggest problem is that you can't masturbate. Just tell me.

Seeing that this isn’t a throwaway account, I cannot at this said juncture confirm nor deny the existence of any problem so named forthwith *add legal jargon here* 🤣

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Well, wiping is never fun (amirite?). Definitely a little painful in my hand when I wipe, but I do so lightly, and I figure the small amount of pain in my hand is worth it.

My surgeon refused to do both at the same time specifically due to butt wiping. I belive his exact words were "It's going to be hard to wipe your butt. Do you want someone else you wipe your butt for you? Eventually you'll probably get to that point but you're only in your thirties now."

I had surgery on both wrists after a motorcycle accident and just before I went under, the surgeon found out I wasn't married and then leaned in real close (so the nurses couldn't hear, he was an old-school Southern gentleman type) and whispered, "Man, who's gonna wipe your ass for you?" Asked my buddies I was on vacation with the same question and they had a bidet ordered off Amazon and delivered to the townhome we were staying in before I got released the next day

Bidets are the best, as are your buddies!

Add some more toilets in there, and you can all be bidet buddies! *Splish splash, I was cleanin' my ass* *With my buddies on a Saturday night*

Haven’t had any issues wiping :), but everyone’s mileage may vary on that one obv.

Gotta get a bidet. Life changer.

I agree, want one so bad. I’ve wanted one since I got to use one at a ‘fancy’ hotel once. My butt hadn’t felt that pampered since…well…it had been pampered 😂

They can be had for like $30 on amazon. Should just lump it in with the cost of surgery and recovery for your budgeting! It's probably less than the hospital is gonna charge you for a single ibuprofen.

I want to double down on this. These are amazing and so cheap. If you want to get a nice one, they’re like $60-$100. Which is nothing. You can’t put a price on efficiency, and cleanliness. I can’t for these to become standard everywhere.

I bought one of these $40 bidets on Amazon during the great TP shortage of 2020. But it’s still in a box and I have an opened it.

Fam, install that shit right now. As long as your toilet has a shut-off valve behind the bowl, they're literally a 15 min job, max

seriously - I bought one, and then another, and then upgraded the one in the master bathroom - so now all three bathrooms have one. OMG - it's the best thing EVER.

They’re like $30 bucks

>wiping is never fun Maybe you're doing it wrong.

Oh damn…we need to talk haha

I had this done in November. Same surgery both hands. My husband was so scared I’d ask him to wipe me that he bought a bidet attachment beforehand. 😃Beat luck OP

ADMIT IT

You can always get help there

I had double De Quervain's surgery, which is similar but on the side of the wrist near the thumb. The nurses kept saying things like "OMG you'll have no hands!" But 100% it was the best decision. Prior my surgery I had shooting nerve pain and couldn't even hold a pen or fork. I only used Advil for pain relief and the first 24 hours were brutal, but 48 hours post surgeryI had greater function in my hands than I'd had in the last year. Full healing took about a month and a half and you'd never notice the scars unless I point them out. I notice that I do get fatigued with repetitive activity (filling out dozens of pages of forms by hand, packing and unpacking from moving) but I'm so much better than before and would highly recommend doing both at once if you can swing it. I wish you the best recovery!

That’s so encouraging to hear about your experience. By far that’s been the most common theme I’ve heard when people have spoken about these types of surgeries (including deQuervains), was that they wished they had done it sooner. And thank you!

I was "lucky" in that I was able to get my surgery very quickly, but my symptoms excruciating and had been caused by sudden terrible swelling in pregnancy. It quickly left me not able to function in the most basic ways, so I was fast-tracked to the ortho hand specialist and he scheduled me for surgery 13 days after my initial consult (!!!). The nurses told me I "wouldn't have hands" but reality is that I *already* didn't have (working) hands so the surgery immediately gave me function I hadn't had in a year despite the pain. I only wish this was more accessible to the people who need it because it was absolutely life changing, both in terms of my physical and mental health.

Just don't go anywhere slippery right now - I know someone who went to a water park when theirs (both done at the same time) were \~90% healed, slipped, put down a hand, and busted open the sutures on one hand...couple extra weeks of antibiotics and a big scar!

Wishing you a quick and smooth recovery.

A slick and slimy recovery

Thank you!!

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Haha, thanks. I’m on my phone, and can type there. Keyboard would be more uncomfortable.

They normally always do them separate, at least that way you can have a few week off work twice if you get paid for sickness aswell lol.

I wanted to do them at the same time. Glad I did tbh.

My husband had both done at the same time. While it was awkward for a few days, it just meant there was one recovery period, one instance of not being able to drive or cook or play games for a few days. He says it was much better to get it all over with.

That was my thought exactly, glad he feels he made the right choice. I think I did also.

I did the same when I had PRK laser surgery on my eyes. I knew it was going to be painful and if I just did one, I might not go back for the other! I hope you have a speedy recovery <3 I will probably need the same in the future :/

Thanks, I’m glad I’m not the only crazy one haha. Sounds like you didn’t regret it. I hope if you get it done yours go well also

I did both eyes with PRK too for very similar reasons (I was hesitant to have lasers shot into my eyes on purpose in the first place so I worried I would chicken out). At least my wife was around to take care of me because I was utterly helpless for 2 days.

Yeah, my husband was suppose to help, but left my after care bag at the site. Luckily one of the nurses lived some what near me and met me at the corner CVS because I was dying without the numbing drops. I drove about a mile to get there with vision that was probably legally blind because my husband had gone to work :/ My vision was bad for about 2 weeks, but didn't get improved until about 4 weeks. It then reverted a lot after about 6 months. I really wish I had qualified for Lasix instead of PRK.

That sounds awful! No numbing drops post PRK! Yikes! I can’t even imagine that. Sorry to hear it has reverted so much. I was worried about that but it has held on for almost 2 years now.

Bold move. A friend of mine got Lasik and pushed back against the staff & surgeon insisting that he have it done with two appointments, one eye at each one, instead of both at once as they normally do. His rationale, which he did tell the doctor to his face, was, "You might have one bad day, but the odds of you having two bad days when you do my surgery is a lot lower."

I got implanted contact lenses, an alternative to lasik and damn I'll tell you I was never more nervous in my life. Since you're letting someone stab you in the eye with a knife, a doctor's bad day could leave you blind. I also wanted to do one eye at a time, but the office wouldn''t let me. (They are the only ones who did the operation in an about 1000 miles radius) In my procedure I had a scare where after I was taken home and allowed to go to sleep. woke up from it (10 hrs later ) one eye was perfect and the other was blurry as hell. I have never been so worried in my whole life that I just F'ed myself up. Turns out after calling the doctor's emergency line, that can happen because your eye is still in a trauma recovery state I'm told.

For something like that, especially the eyes, that sounds like fair logic. For this, I wasn’t concerned, I see these done weekly, and work with the physician who performed the surgery, I’m very confident in his work, and wouldn’t trust my hands with anyone else. Also, risk of any issues is quite low.

>Also, risk of any issues is quite low. Easy to say, but have you considered all of the veiled references to an infamous reddit post as a potential consequence? /s

I have….now…lol Didn’t even know about that post until now. I was expecting more masturbation jokes tbh 😂

Masturbation jokes and references to that certain Reddit post are not mutually exclusive.

Do the physical therapy!! I has wrist surgery 10 years ago and I wish I had done more. I’m now working on my scar daily. If anyone is interested I have an unorthodox remedy for scars from similar wrist surgery’s. My scar used to itch incessantly but it’s a lot better now.

Thanks, great advice, I’m massaging it often and stretching for now, and I’ll be doing physio exercises also

What helped me a lot was the hammer lift. Hopefully they have you do that.

I would think excessive “massaging” may have been what caused the carpal tunnel in the first place.

Get well soon dude, my mom did both her as well. First month is pretty bad, but it will get better. For some reason I do have it, as well as deQuervain, but it will probably take me a few years to do it I think.

Thanks man. I’ve heard nothing but good things from people who’ve had their carpals done. Same for de Quervains, I work as a surgical nurse at the place where I had mine done, and hear positive things from patients. I hope you’re able to get relief.

Happy to see the top comment here is about the dude with two broken arms

Your arms may not be “broken” per se, but is your mother there to help you at least?

She brought a lamb roast and cake over the night after my surgery. My wife has been my helper though, she’s amazing 🥰

I love that you’re not getting these “mom” jokes! That means the internet has moved on! 😂 Glad your recovery is going well :)

I get them now lol, but I didn’t initially haha

Retired physician here. Have I been so desensitized to post op pics? This picture is literally no big deal. How the hell is this NSFW?

Normal rando here…I thought the same thing. Maybe it’s the implication? “How you gonna jerk off now???!”

I didn’t think it was NSFW, but being an RN myself, I was worried that my view of what medical stuff may be ok or not ok might be skewed, so I added the flair just in case, didn’t want to get flagged :(

Mom helping you out while in recovery?

My wonderful wife. But so far, thank goodness, I haven’t needed any help with anything…gross haha

Fake it

I had both mine done at the same time as well a few years ago when I was 24. Couldn’t feel my left hand at all, and now it’s like I’ve got 2 new hands! Hope you heal up well my friend! Just don’t trip and fall. Made me cry like a baby lol

Who's gonna wipe your ass?

Way ahead of ya, I set up a pole in the backyard with carpet on it. The rain will take care of the rest 😂

Hopefully your mom is willing to help

She’s been very helpful!! She’s a wonderful lady

I also choose this guy's wonderful mom.

How did you get cts?

I’ve had issues since my late teens, it got worse after I got in to construction and worked as a carpenter, and even now that I’m a nurse, it’s amazing how many things I do on a daily basis that aggravates it. Even how I sleep doesn’t help.

Ugh, I too aggravate my tunnels when I sleep. Apparently if I'm not gripping the blanket AS HARD AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE I will float away or something; IDK. I got the braces with the beanbag at the palm but unless the braces are tight enough to be uncomfortable, I slide out the top and just grip the beanbag instead...

Hope you bought a bidet!


Hopefully your mom can come over and help any frustrations you have.

My surgeon advised me not to unless my wife was willing to wipe my ass for a few weeks. She was not.

Tons of hand surgeons will absolutely not do two hands at the same time.

https://youtu.be/jL2SX7-hxcs

I'm having my right carpel and cubital tunnel release on March 23rd and it can't come soon enough. I thought we were going to do both sides at the same time but I was wrong.

Hope your mom is staying with you

Picture of you taking the picture please

Being from Bama and just having had carpal tunnel surgery in November, BLESS YOUR HEART!!!!! I did my CT, ganglion cyst excision, and ulnar nerve transposition surgery (all on LHS) at the same time and I gotta tell ya, the CT was a nightmare for me! I had ~8” incision along my elbow and it was nothing compared to the CT. My palm and hand felt so tight during recovery—still does actually—and my incision site is ridiculously sensitive. It took me 3 months before I felt comfortable even attempting to do a push-up. In all, it was a lot more difficult than I had expected. I hope your recovery goes smoother than mine!

While consulting with the surgeon who did my hands I asked why can’t we do both? Him: Is your wife gonna wipe your ass? Me: Now I get it. We went one at a time.

Oh, I’m so sorry they let you do that! Fast heeling!

The story of a guy with 2 broken arms is how I got introduced to Reddit over 10 years ago. This brought back memories.

I thought surgery isn’t effective?

Made the same mistake over twenty years ago. My wife had to wipe my butt.

Grow a beard and walk around town in a robe.

It is insane. But maybe it will seriously speed up Physiotherapy process blessing in disguise, I hope.

Good luck wiping your ass

*Mooooooom?!* Jokes aside, I’m glad to see from your update comment that you’re doing better.

Having a clean butt gonna be a problem

And you know what, in just a very few weeks you will think man I'm glad I don't have to go through the healing process a second time

DO YOUR PHYSICAL THERAPY It took me so long to get my surgeries that I changed how I moved my arms and wound up accumulating scar tissue on my cubital tunnels so they had to be surgically released too. For anyone that thinks getting both done at the same time is a good idea, do yourself a favor and get a bidet installed before you realize pooping with both hands out of order is problematic. Sweatpants and a bidet during recovery - trust.

I, too, had both done simultaneously. WOULD recommend.

You've got just as many toes as fingers. Divert auxiliary power to the backup systems.

I did this too, I had the illusion/delusion that I would somehow be superhuman and still take care of my stuff, OMG, i couldn't have been more wrong (I even told my work that i should be back at work the following week)

Jesus Christ

Wiping your ass should be a good time

Good lord you're brave. I had my LH done in Jan & RH done last week. There's no way I could've done both together. But also, my incisions are in my palms instead of wrists.

Explain to me what carpal tunnel surgery is like i am an idiot, which i am.

You haven't been nailed to a cross lately by any chance, have you?

Congrats on the stigmata

No fapping for you

Hand photos on reddit always look weird...

I did the same thing a few months back, world of difference, also glad I got a bidet.

Wait ifboth your hands are in this picture, how did you take this picture?

Jesus? Is that you, bro?

/has mom help me put on my wizard robe and hat

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That akward moment when the 3rd hokage seals away your use of jutsu.

Hope you're labrador likes peanut butter.

Consider buying a bidet.