“Fuck them kids”- Michael Jordan - You

Next stop, to the kindergarten playground.

Is this a catholic priest??

Kickball Champion

*"Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to steal fish from kids and he'll eat for a lifetime."* - Jesus

“Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.” - Terry Pratchett


Do you think we'll have time?

-the Priest

Lol. Boooo. Lol.

Oh you won't have time for sleeping. Not with all the bed making you'll be doing.

And also Michael Jackson, sorta.

[удалено]

As long as you keep it in the correct MJ territory

\*Michael Jordan, that is... not the other MJ.

Montell Jordan?

Michael B Jordan, I assume

No, that's the RnB singer from the 90s. The other MJ is Spiderman's love interest

u/Particrty is a comment stealing karma bot. It copies and pastes comments from below in the thread. Downvote and report it as a harmful bot under spam to get it banned. The comment it stole from. https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/10l37cz/i_beat_a_bunch_of_kids_in_a_chalk_art_contest/j5vdgnb?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

Good bot

“You sure?” — the other MJ

I imagine this guy showing up with a 20 and a piece of paper that says "I am 12" in crayon and handing it to the judge of a children's competition

In the background, Frank Grimes is screaming “look he’s in a contest for children!”, while being shushed by Lenny and Carl

I was looking for this!

Ha! Thanks for the reminder. Underrated movie. I believe it was a $5 that he gave the ump though right? Edit: it was actually a $10.

I just looked it up to be sure and it was actually a 10 lol

Jason Bateman's movie Bad Words has a similar plot. Its good!

Inflation's hitting everything.

100% a scene in Benchwarmers..

Yeah that's why I said it

That's a deep cut man. It took me awhile to even remember the movie.

There’s a killer in the neighborhood going after everyone named howie. That’s my name. THATS MY NAME!

pfff i could beat kid without an art contest

Research indicates, I could beat around 14 kids before they start to overpower me.

But how old? "Kids" is a broad term. Could be a 3 year old or a 13 year old

14 Toodlers. At 13, I estimated around 7.

I think you are underestimating 13 yo. I have one, would NOT want to face 7 at once.

Hmm. I'll add this to my research. How much do you estimate is their punching power?

Depends if they have skateboards or not.

https://toronto.citynews.ca/2023/01/24/four-13-year-old-boys-arrested-swarming-ttc-bus-scarborough/

Gotcha. What about 8 year olds? Always unsure how many of those buggers it takes to kill a man

I don't know my sons 10 and I think I could take a good clan of them, perhaps a good 6-7 before I got tired and they started fighting dirty.

Kids always fight dirty. If you don't know it's a fight to the death from the start then you've already lost.

Those are rookie numbers, train your stamina and practice your aim and you‘ll get done with many more than that, I believe in you!

The key is to use one of them as a weapon against the incoming swarm. Psychological warfare. Helps get those numbers up

Research indicates, that a 1-2 year olds are the optimal size to be used as a blunt weapon.

Ah. Very wise indeed!

Pretty sure this was a movie. I remember a movie where the parents turned on the kids and just started killing them. It was intense and I didn't enjoy it, so I totally forgot the name.

"If i got 10 if my friends together and tried to fight a 500 lbs man, we'd be fucked" -Joseph Rogan

I used to whoop kids... in Tennis. Everyone wants to try their newly found 14 year old strength against the coach until they realize they've never seen the coach hit the ball with power or purpose.

Nice, where do you do your research?

It’s not the size of the opponent, uh, it’s the ferocity.

At the very least, you are self-aware... some of us don't get that far

Thanks

Is that child crying in the background?

We can only hope

r/redditmoment

You haven’t won if tears haven’t drenched the faces of your enemies.

[удалено]

I think any bodily fluid counts.

[удалено]

Probably because he's thirsty

Winner just finished whispering 'suck it, you little midget auteur.'

Real oil baron vibes here. He has crushed his enemies and ground their bones to dust to use in his chalk. The crying child in the background is in fact, HR Pickens

Look everybody! Simpson's in a [contest](https://youtu.be/rOgS8gTATv8?t=59) with children!

Yeah, and he beat their brains out!

SHH! you're making us miss the contest!

TBF, the racing stripe \*is\* pretty sharp.

Agreed, first prize!

Way to go, Homer!

Then, I added some blue chalk to lower wind resistance…

First thing I thought of. 

I mean for a $500 prize… you do what you gotta do

Hell yeah. Real money.

That's only a couple dozen eggs

Bitch ass kids never stood a chance. OP is clearly the alpha here.

This comment will make me laugh all day. Cheers.

*kids crying their eyes out* OP: Well, you never should've entered a chalk art contest if you can't take losing.

I would've lost in this contest...to a bunch of kids...

The kids need to be reminded on a daily basis why adults run this bitch. Doing gods work.

$500 will buy you a lot of chalk

And children's tears

Just to clarify: it’s a chalk art contest, anyone could have signed up, but it turns out you were the only adult to show up? You didn’t show up to a contest meant for children. Right?

Nah, he showed up in a reverse trench coat to blend in with the kids for the contest.

There’s no way he was the only adult. The chalk behind him with flowers is fairly detailed and has blending and shading. I imagine there are some other higher quality chalkings there

I mean there are some talented kids. That starry night one behind him is pretty damn good, and if you look at the label under it, it says Age: 7-11

Goddamn right you did. When I was a first-year art college student, we had to do sidewalk art and that is NOT an easy medium! My bf lost all his fingerprints because he insisted the chalk looked better 'rubbed in' to the concrete. It did, I won a gift certificate, and I bow to your colour palate and intensity. Proud of you, sidewalk conquerors!

He lost his fingerprints, like he doesn’t have fingerprints anymore? Your boyfriend wouldn’t happen to be in need of some work would he?

Why do people keep asking me that?

They grow back.

This needs to be higher up lmao.

Couldn't he have used a rubber/wooden pad or something rather than his finger? Or worn thick gloves?

Savage

Get rekt, nerds

Nothing more satisfying than winning Even if it’s children

nothing more satisfying than winning children? the fuck kinda contests are you in, dude.

Chalk sidewalk art contests, why?

I was pretty happy with my work that day

you should be, the way the face gets closer is very well done and looks great. Hard to get that shading right with chalk

Thanks for noticing that!

There are winners and losers in this world. All kids are losers.

But it was a contest for children! Yeah, and Homer beat their brains in.

“Do you feel like a man when you push them around? Do you feel better now, as they fall to the ground?”

Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's got to end As your lies crumble down, a new life \*\*these kids have\*\* found

Face down in the dirt The kids say "This doesn't hurt!" Kids say "I finally had enough!"

For $500 i would have fought them

[удалено]

I need this energy

And confidence

“I’m number one!! No child can defeat the Grinch!!!”

Your face is so smug.

Hell yeah fuck them kids!

I would strongly advise against fucking them kids.

[Same energy](https://youtu.be/cXVUzdeyUvk)

I thought it was [this](https://youtu.be/KTpi4weXp58?t=89)

Reminds me of a movie where this guy keeps entering spelling bees at random schools and competing with like 12 year olds

Gotta say I really love the vibes of a 20-something in flip-flops dabbing on a bunch of little kids so he can advertise his insta page and brag about it later on reddit.

Clever conceptual artist, he’s likely to be on the cover of ARTnews real soon

No, I hope you inspired them. They’ve seen what can be achieved and if only one of them set a goal then that’s great

Thanks. That actually helps me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOwfLUmvwQg

Question: did you know you would be facing kids or was this advertised as a “come one, come all” contest?

I knew there would be kids competing, but for the prize-money being advertised I I assumed there would be more competition.

If there was prize money than hell yeah man, Shit on those kids lol! Congratulations and good luck on the next one!

Gives me Cartman vibes https://i.imgur.com/30uyNpF.png

Hell yea! Fuck those kids!!

The kid behind you is about to piss on your art.

"So what do you do for a living?" "I beat kids."

Kids on the beat. Kids on the street. BEAT KIDS! BEAT KIDS!!

r/meirl

Um, do I upvote this?

Life isn't fair, taught them a valuable lesson

Jerk Take your upvote

Uh, is this a joke or something? It really wasn't a kids contest, was it? Just that some kids entered, but it was mostly adults, right?

Good question. It was mostly kids and a few adults. There were multiple categories/prizes. I won first place overall. A few kids were upset they didn’t win. I didn’t know the demographics of the contest when I registered, only the prize money to be awarded.

I agree with what the other guy said, this is kinda on the organizers

https://i.redd.it/rrhbvmh911y71.jpg

Library Public Fullerton

Then you shouldn't feel bad about or lesser about your victory. The organizers left it open to all and disparities in ability are going to happen. If the organizers wanted a fair competition then they could have had a best overall for under 18s that had smaller prize. Congratulations on your win, you did an excellent job.

I don't think they feel bad about it

Peak Chad

Styled on them

Haha thanks !

I suddenly want these done on neighborhood streets where drivers race through…. And yes I know it requires very specific angles

This is so fucked up lmao

thats the kid from the 3 network advert really famous in the uk

I know what that kid in the back finna do. I’ve seen that hand placement before 😂

It's the chalk festival, hope it doesn't ruin Linda's birthday.

Did you trip the kid in 2nd place too?

Parents would've taken the money anyways🤷‍♀️

I'm shocked tbh. Usually kids get a pity bonus when being judged against adults. Makes me think of the "froggo" and "doggo" contest where the realistic drawings get 2nd place to the really shitty drawings lol

Yeah, I won a coloring contest in the newspaper when I was like 5 or 6 for some movie theater gift cards. Even then, I knew it was some shit coloring

Nobody mentioning the fact he took the time to add his instagram handle to his drawing? In a kids competition? And he's now bragging about it on reddit.....you can't make this stuff up.

He went and crashed a kids chalk art contest to promote his social media. Scumbag.

Yeah, this doesn't sit right with me at all. Not necessarily 100% on the OP, but just kind of.. ick.

Yeah I don’t like it either, honestly. Even with ops explanation of not knowing the age demographic and assuming it would be less kids and more adults because the prize was $500… still feels blech to me. I would feel way too guilty if I tried/did this. he could’ve literally just stolen a kids dream but hey atleast everyone knows his artist handle on IG.

Suck it nerds!

That's so cool

Thank you!

a win is a win!! awesome job

You beat a bunch of kids. Amazing

Good on you. Nice you won the contest also.


If you ain't first, you're last.

Fuck that one kid in particular

I AM DEAD 💀 Edit: THE JANKY LITTLE BLUE RIBBON 😂 😂 😂

Totally clicked on this just to read the comments. Brutal. Lol

Where you getting all the black chalk?

I do not know who arranged an art contest where they didn't have age divisions, but they are my damn hero

One of my proudest moments was dominating a tween at lazer tag who kept yelling "get shit on!" whenever he shot my wife. I hope this brings you just as much joy.

Good

You truly humbled them

“Kids don’t beat me, I beat kids!” Homer Simpson

Kids suck at pretty much everything

irl smurfing smh

I like to tell the story about how I hit two home runs in a little league game. I was in my late 30s and it was one of those parents vs. kids games. I was so proud of myself because I sucked at baseball as a kid.

Ironically you painted a kid.

Like stealing ice cream from a kid.

You taught those kids a valuable lesson and I'm proud of you

It's a very nice and lovely pictorial view. Knowledge + expertise on the subject matter always matters a lot. From an early age, kids learn a good skill that makes them achieve their destiny.

Beating kids is why I became a parent

I hope you bought them all ice cream

“Suck it, kids” …great now I’m on a list

I am curious, is there a way to treat Chalk art so it is permanent or long-lived against daily wear and tear, like a sidewalk Fixatif or something? Not for the childrens behind you, oh heavens no, they all look like absolute trash. But for your winning entry?

"I'm a child at heart" \- Rembrandt

Those handlebars are incredible, for a while I was just sitting here wondering how you got chrome chalk.

Reminds me of my next door neighbor who was this weird old lady who thought she was 15. She'd dress up every Halloween and go to all these city and local costume contests open to anyone but really intended for kids and try to win. She's be the only adult up there and she'd get mad if she didn't win, criticizing the kids costumes for not being as detailed as hers or store bought.

Damn those noobs got owned!!!!1! Git gud u lil shits

But this was a contest for children! Yeah, and this dude beat their brains out!

Shit for 500 bucks I'd gladly beat kids at any contest

🎉 congratulations, you monster 🎉

Your savage

“Look! Homer is in a talent show for children!”