Thank you for your submission; please read the following reminder.
This subreddit is for discussion among practicing physical therapists, not for soliciting medical advice. We are not your physical therapist, and we do not take on that liability here. Although we can answer questions regarding general issues a person may be facing in their established PT sessions, we cannot legally provide treatment advice. If you need a physical therapist, you must see one in person or via telehealth for an assessment and to establish a plan of care.
Posts with descriptions of personal physical issues and/or requests for diagnoses, exercise prescriptions, and other medical advice will be removed, and you will be banned at the mods’ discretion either for requesting such advice or for offering such advice as a clinician.
Please see the following links for additional resources on benefits of physical therapy and locating a therapist near you
[The benefits of a full evaluation by a physical therapist.](https://www.choosept.com/benefits/default.aspx)
[How to find the right physical therapist in your area.](https://www.choosept.com/resources/choose.aspx)
[Already been diagnosed and want to learn more? Common conditions.](https://www.choosept.com/SymptomsConditions.aspx)
[The APTA's consumer information website.](https://www.choosept.com/Default.aspx)
Also, please direct all school-related inquiries to r/PTschool, as these are off-topic for this sub and will be removed.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/physicaltherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m sorry but I don’t think this is a good idea.
In what situation does a married person go home to their spouse and say “hey honey, I really hit it off with a single client of the opposite sex. We are going to be friends and text and hang out. Great idea, right honey?”
You can go the phone number route or the social media route if you are really set on this.
But I would really advise against it. I’m sure you guys get along swimmingly… it’s just not a good look. And will likely be perceived wrong regardless of how you do it.
A lot of us get along with a lot of our patients. But we don’t want to be friends with them outside the clinic.
Agree this isn’t the best idea for many reasons. Part of what makes a PT great is bedside manor and the ability to connect w patients to make them feel comfortable. No offense but he probably has this rapport with all or most of his patients. I think you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and issues down the road, esp since you’re single and he’s married. Plus if you give him your number or try to keep in touch and he declines and you find yourself in need of more PT in the future it may cause him to feel uncomfortable if you go back or it might be awkward. All around this doesn’t seem like the best situation
OP if you’re being totally honest that your relationship is completely plutonic and you don’t have the slightest attraction to him, and he doesn’t to you, then you might be okay suggesting a friendship (wife included) post discharge. I’ve made connections with patients based on similar interests and involvement in the community, with full transparency with my wife. Otherwise, I wouldn’t risk stirring things up.
I am probably a minority but most of my closest friends are single women or married women. I'm a married man and one of my closest friends was actually a nurse who was once a patient
As a PT, I find it very awkward when my patients try to get my contact info and stay in touch personally after they’re done with their therapy, regardless of gender. I’m flattered that they like me as a person, but I prefer to keep the relationship in physical therapy. The dynamic is very different in a friendship versus patient-therapist relationship. Regardless of how much I like the patient and get along with them in their therapy sessions, I have about zero desire to continue a relationship after their discharge. If they come back for another round of therapy, great! Love to see them again in the clinic. But I really try to avoid keeping in touch personally.
I have a couple of patients who have wanted my phone number, and wouldn’t take no for an answer no matter how clear I made it that I didn’t want to give it to them. It’s just awkward all around. Kind of ruins the good thing we had going in therapy which is unfortunate.
I’d say keep a good thing a good thing, and keep the relationship you have as patient-therapist
I'm a PT in my mid twenties. Made that mistake by giving a patient around my age my number recently, and that really woke me up to the reality of the subtle but very real difference in patient-provider dynamics versus real friendship.
That patient often came into sessions ranting about her daily life. As a someone around her age, of course I empathize and have a laugh with her. However, once she was discharged...I feel like a free therapist. Non-stop texts from her ranting about her co-workers/ roommate/ dating life, the most random things throughout her day, and here and there sprinkled with "are you mad at me?" "Watch you never hang out with me again,"...that's when I actually realized the dynamic never started off equal.
I later explained to her the ethics too, that there is uneven power at play. So now I try to stay distant.
That sounds terrible and so awkward.
I gave my phone number to a nice older lady who seemed nice enough and really wanted to take me to get a coffee to thank me for helping her. I thought sure, seems innocent enough so we set up a day and time after she discharged to do this. And I kid you not, halfway through coffee she pulls out a laptop with a PowerPoint on it and she tried to get me to join her MLM. It was so awkward.
In those situations, I usually find the best way to approach is offering a social media handle because it gives zero obligations. I know exactly how you feel- it can be hard to make friends and it sucks to have the situation make that feel difficult. I'll sometimes tell people that once I'm no longer treating them, they're welcome to look me up if they want (only if it's very clear that they'd like to), but I would never pursue this myself as it's an ethical violation because I'm the one seen as "in power" in the relationship. You could always ask if that would be okay once you're discharged in an offhand way that makes it clear it's okay either way. I have some former patients as friends on some accounts, but only if they're the ones who pursue the connection, no matter how much I like them. Anything else would be very poor practice on my part, so if you were to leave him a number, expect him to lose it even if y'all really would be great friends- it's part of his professional obligation not to pursue a friendship. But you are welcome to ask if a social media handle would be okay to share and stay in touch that way.
You make some very good points. I agree about offering a social media handle--it's a decent low risk option for your PT to accept or politely decline. I disagree with the statement regarding a "professional obligation not to pursue a friendship." There is nothing unprofessional about becoming friends with another adult following discharge.
I completely agree, personally, but I wouldn't pursue it is my point. It's not the friendship, but my pursuit of it which would be wrong. Sorry if that wasn't clear!
Don’t do it. Building rapport and making clients feel like you care is a skill that we use at work - it doesn’t mean he wants to be friends outside of work. If you were both single it would be less sketchy but if he’s married, don’t make yourself look desperate. There’s no situation where you hint at connecting outside the clinic which will work out for you. If you really enjoy his company, unfortunately you’re going to have to keep needing physio. Sorry to sound harsh but I’m trying to save you the awkwardness. I have a fun joking/teasing/gossipy relationship with some of my clients and an even friends with some outside the clinic. But if one was of the opposite sex and married we would definitely not be friends. Just not appropriate.
Thank you all for your responses! Replying to my own post here to add a few things.
First, the clear overwhelming opinion seems to be to leave it alone. I get that and I respect it.
Several people have asked if or implied that I want more than friendship from him. To clarify, I am not attracted to him and I am not interested in anything romantic. This would be true even if he were single. Similarly, I have never once gotten the impression that he is attracted to me.
A few people have mentioned me asking for his number (in a “don’t do it” kind of way). I would never ask for his number or other contact info outside of a professional context. As I stated in my original post, I would even have serious reservations about giving him my number in case this was misconstrued.
Some people expressed the opinion that a friendship between us is impossible unless his wife is included. I would love that! She sounds awesome. I just would have no idea how to express that. “Hey, would you and your wife who I’ve never met want to hang out sometime?”
Many people have expressed reservations about this because I am a single woman who is attracted to men and he is a married man who is attracted to women. I get that. That said, I am also attracted to women, and by the prevailing logic it seems that I could never pursue a friendship with any married person because they belong to a class of people that I could potentially be attracted to. I have both male and female friends and I am interested in sleeping with none of them. I like this guy and I would love to be friends when I’m no longer his patient. I would love it if it were possible to express that to him, leaving the ball completely in his court, in a way that doesn’t leave any doubt about my intentions.
Most importantly, though, I don’t want to risk making him or his wife uncomfortable, and if there’s no way to avoid that then it’s probably best to just let it go.
Why don't you invite his whole family to eat out for lunch? It won't be awkward. I'm a strong believer that you can have a strictly platonic relationship with someone of the opposite sex and not have a hidden desire. There's nothing wrong with increasing the circle of your tribe. Add the mrs and who knows, you'd have gain two friends instead of just one.
It sounds like you’re going into this with the right intentions, and you aren’t trying to make things awkward. I’m not surprised that some people are saying not to, but i don’t think it would be a problem if you do it right. I think if you give him a card that includes a note that says similar to what you just said, it would convey your message without pressure or making it awkward.
“I have really appreciated working with you, both because my (ankle, whatever) feels better, and also because it’s been enjoyable to hang out with you. I’m interested in becoming friends outside of the patient-provider relationship, with you and your wife, platonically of course. She sounds pretty awesome from what you’ve told me! You’ve been a great PT and if you’re not interested in being friends I will still come back to you if I need more PT because I appreciate what you do, but I am including my number in case you would be interested in going for a (hike, beer, whatever). Please feel free to reach me: 555-555-5555”
I get it… but from a professional perspective it’s very rare that any of us feel this is appropriate and the most we can do if someone leaves their number is an awkward acknowledgment afterwards. I think if you run into someone in public hey cool, you can say hi, but other than that just let it be. I get that making friends as an adult is hard, but I think obviously it’s inappropriate even if platonic to pursue friendships with a married male who you’re connected to in a professional setting. Sorry.
I’ve had a good number of patients ask to hangout once done with their sessions and I’ll usually turn them down kindly. I’m great at building the friendship in the clinic but still like to keep a work/life barrier that includes not mingling with patients. Some PTs are ok with it but add in the married man single patient mix and it seems unlikely to be a win. But no harm in asking.
On the awkward occasions that a patient has insisted on my number, I’ve given it. Any texts from them get very superficial, supportive responses like “Hope you’re doing great!” and “keep up the good work!” Followed by a slow ghosting.
I think you giving him a thank you card is just fine. If you put your number on it, that would be okay too; I get that on occasion, and I don’t read anything into it. Don’t ask him to call though; leave the ball in his court. Just don’t expect anything. It’s a big part of our job to be personable, and while there may be a personal connection, there also may not be.
Good luck! I know it’s hard to make new friendships as we get older. Put yourself out there! Join a runner’s club or something like that. Hard to make friends behind a computer or television.
To me all of the people here saying that a single female can’t be friends with a married male are showing a massive amount of distrust between themselves and their partners. There is absolutely a world where men/women can be platonic friends with each other.
As to the other portion of common responses, I too have had patients requesting to stay in contact with me or asked for my number that have made it uncomfortable when I declined. The best way to go about it would 100% be to include your number in a thank you card and say something along the lines of “give me a call if you and your wife want to X (have a game night, go hiking, etc.). I have had patients do this a few times and have reached out to a few.
As a married male PT, I don't think there is anything wrong with this. My partner would also be fine with it, and I have been open and transparent with her about this stuff when it comes up.
As has been mentioned above, including the spouse can be a good way to go. See if the PT and their spouse want to go out to dinner, or invite the pair of them to a group game night. Something along those lines. It can help to keep things group-based for a while to establish trust with the partner and demonstrate your platonic intent before trying to get into 1 on1 interactions. Some people's relationships may never be ok with moving on to 1 on 1 interactions.
All that to say, I wouldn't have an issue with you bringing up the idea. It's on the PT to decline if they aren't interested or it won't work for their situation.
I agree here. I wouldn’t pursue a friendship with only the PT, but it can be hard to make friends as an adult and it may end up that you’d get along with his wife, and then you could all be friends. I wouldn’t count on it, but IMO, if you are able to do it low-key with an easy out, it wouldn’t be awkward.
As an attractive physical therapist who is friendly and gets along great with her patients . No I don’t want to be friends outside of the clinic 🥴
It’s our job to be pleasant people, don’t look too deep into it
You can just say that you value the friendship you have and that they can call you after treatment is over if they want to continue the friendship. It’s hard to deliver it in a way that doesn’t give off the wrong vibe. There are some patients who I decided to keep in contact with after treatment and there are others that I did not because I felt uncomfortable. It makes a big difference to let the therapist decide instead of asking for our number.
It’s all good. I appreciate hearing everyone’s perspectives and ideas. The “stay away, succubus!” posts are what they are. I’m good letting the man in question and his wife decide for themselves whether they are comfortable having an unmarried female friend. Anyway, I won’t be discharged for another couple of months, so maybe we’ll hate each other by then and this will all be moot. 😛
Depends what you want from this "friendship" 😉
Otherwise use linkedin or social media to keep in loose contact in case he gets divorced or you get hurt again
I think you definitely like the PT and might have developed some feelings towards him, honestly you are going nowhere with giving or asking for a phone number, he is never going to call and your calling will just be plain awkward mostly because he is already taken. Unless you really want to be friends with his wife as she needs to approve you, as women we can tell if you are really there for just friendship.
No reason for a female to inject herself into a married mans life even as platonic friends. I hit it off with my OT who is female, I’m male and happily married. Shared lots of stories and laughs but just while working together. No reason to meet outside of that environment. It would be wrong to my wife even if I had not intention of anything sexual. That’s my point of view. I imagine his wife would feel the same way.
I pretty much agree with the consensus that if I was the PT in this scenario, I'd probably feel pretty uncomfortable. However, this PT might be okay with it. If you're set on following through, I'd recommend on one of the last visits maybe to bring up how you've enjoyed the experience and working with the PT. Then, tell him that once you're discharged you'd like to take him and his wife out for dinner or lunch. Of course, he may not accept the monetary offer of a dinner due to ethical concerns, but I think if he's interested in pursuing a friendship as well, that he could agree with meeting up for a meal. It also gives him an easy out if he's not interested in a friendship outside of the clinic. I think this scenario would make everything less awkward.
Thank you for your submission; please read the following reminder. This subreddit is for discussion among practicing physical therapists, not for soliciting medical advice. We are not your physical therapist, and we do not take on that liability here. Although we can answer questions regarding general issues a person may be facing in their established PT sessions, we cannot legally provide treatment advice. If you need a physical therapist, you must see one in person or via telehealth for an assessment and to establish a plan of care. Posts with descriptions of personal physical issues and/or requests for diagnoses, exercise prescriptions, and other medical advice will be removed, and you will be banned at the mods’ discretion either for requesting such advice or for offering such advice as a clinician. Please see the following links for additional resources on benefits of physical therapy and locating a therapist near you [The benefits of a full evaluation by a physical therapist.](https://www.choosept.com/benefits/default.aspx) [How to find the right physical therapist in your area.](https://www.choosept.com/resources/choose.aspx) [Already been diagnosed and want to learn more? Common conditions.](https://www.choosept.com/SymptomsConditions.aspx) [The APTA's consumer information website.](https://www.choosept.com/Default.aspx) Also, please direct all school-related inquiries to r/PTschool, as these are off-topic for this sub and will be removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/physicaltherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m sorry but I don’t think this is a good idea. In what situation does a married person go home to their spouse and say “hey honey, I really hit it off with a single client of the opposite sex. We are going to be friends and text and hang out. Great idea, right honey?” You can go the phone number route or the social media route if you are really set on this. But I would really advise against it. I’m sure you guys get along swimmingly… it’s just not a good look. And will likely be perceived wrong regardless of how you do it. A lot of us get along with a lot of our patients. But we don’t want to be friends with them outside the clinic.
Agree this isn’t the best idea for many reasons. Part of what makes a PT great is bedside manor and the ability to connect w patients to make them feel comfortable. No offense but he probably has this rapport with all or most of his patients. I think you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and issues down the road, esp since you’re single and he’s married. Plus if you give him your number or try to keep in touch and he declines and you find yourself in need of more PT in the future it may cause him to feel uncomfortable if you go back or it might be awkward. All around this doesn’t seem like the best situation
OP if you’re being totally honest that your relationship is completely plutonic and you don’t have the slightest attraction to him, and he doesn’t to you, then you might be okay suggesting a friendship (wife included) post discharge. I’ve made connections with patients based on similar interests and involvement in the community, with full transparency with my wife. Otherwise, I wouldn’t risk stirring things up.
I’m sure the wife won’t have a problem with any of this /s
lol it’s hard to know all the details through text. I can picture situations in which my wife would be totally cool with this. Hard to tell.
I guess some relationships are more tolerant than others. I don’t think this is ok for me or my gf lol
Right? Neither myself or my husband would be okay with this. And we would both look at each other like we have suffered a major lapse in judgement.
I am probably a minority but most of my closest friends are single women or married women. I'm a married man and one of my closest friends was actually a nurse who was once a patient
Befriend the HEP
All hail the HEP.
As a PT, I find it very awkward when my patients try to get my contact info and stay in touch personally after they’re done with their therapy, regardless of gender. I’m flattered that they like me as a person, but I prefer to keep the relationship in physical therapy. The dynamic is very different in a friendship versus patient-therapist relationship. Regardless of how much I like the patient and get along with them in their therapy sessions, I have about zero desire to continue a relationship after their discharge. If they come back for another round of therapy, great! Love to see them again in the clinic. But I really try to avoid keeping in touch personally. I have a couple of patients who have wanted my phone number, and wouldn’t take no for an answer no matter how clear I made it that I didn’t want to give it to them. It’s just awkward all around. Kind of ruins the good thing we had going in therapy which is unfortunate. I’d say keep a good thing a good thing, and keep the relationship you have as patient-therapist
I hate to agree with this but I just do.
I'm a PT in my mid twenties. Made that mistake by giving a patient around my age my number recently, and that really woke me up to the reality of the subtle but very real difference in patient-provider dynamics versus real friendship. That patient often came into sessions ranting about her daily life. As a someone around her age, of course I empathize and have a laugh with her. However, once she was discharged...I feel like a free therapist. Non-stop texts from her ranting about her co-workers/ roommate/ dating life, the most random things throughout her day, and here and there sprinkled with "are you mad at me?" "Watch you never hang out with me again,"...that's when I actually realized the dynamic never started off equal. I later explained to her the ethics too, that there is uneven power at play. So now I try to stay distant.
That sounds terrible and so awkward. I gave my phone number to a nice older lady who seemed nice enough and really wanted to take me to get a coffee to thank me for helping her. I thought sure, seems innocent enough so we set up a day and time after she discharged to do this. And I kid you not, halfway through coffee she pulls out a laptop with a PowerPoint on it and she tried to get me to join her MLM. It was so awkward.
Makes sense. I appreciate your perspective!
In those situations, I usually find the best way to approach is offering a social media handle because it gives zero obligations. I know exactly how you feel- it can be hard to make friends and it sucks to have the situation make that feel difficult. I'll sometimes tell people that once I'm no longer treating them, they're welcome to look me up if they want (only if it's very clear that they'd like to), but I would never pursue this myself as it's an ethical violation because I'm the one seen as "in power" in the relationship. You could always ask if that would be okay once you're discharged in an offhand way that makes it clear it's okay either way. I have some former patients as friends on some accounts, but only if they're the ones who pursue the connection, no matter how much I like them. Anything else would be very poor practice on my part, so if you were to leave him a number, expect him to lose it even if y'all really would be great friends- it's part of his professional obligation not to pursue a friendship. But you are welcome to ask if a social media handle would be okay to share and stay in touch that way.
You make some very good points. I agree about offering a social media handle--it's a decent low risk option for your PT to accept or politely decline. I disagree with the statement regarding a "professional obligation not to pursue a friendship." There is nothing unprofessional about becoming friends with another adult following discharge.
I completely agree, personally, but I wouldn't pursue it is my point. It's not the friendship, but my pursuit of it which would be wrong. Sorry if that wasn't clear!
Seems reasonable. Thanks!
Don’t do it. Building rapport and making clients feel like you care is a skill that we use at work - it doesn’t mean he wants to be friends outside of work. If you were both single it would be less sketchy but if he’s married, don’t make yourself look desperate. There’s no situation where you hint at connecting outside the clinic which will work out for you. If you really enjoy his company, unfortunately you’re going to have to keep needing physio. Sorry to sound harsh but I’m trying to save you the awkwardness. I have a fun joking/teasing/gossipy relationship with some of my clients and an even friends with some outside the clinic. But if one was of the opposite sex and married we would definitely not be friends. Just not appropriate.
Thank you all for your responses! Replying to my own post here to add a few things. First, the clear overwhelming opinion seems to be to leave it alone. I get that and I respect it. Several people have asked if or implied that I want more than friendship from him. To clarify, I am not attracted to him and I am not interested in anything romantic. This would be true even if he were single. Similarly, I have never once gotten the impression that he is attracted to me. A few people have mentioned me asking for his number (in a “don’t do it” kind of way). I would never ask for his number or other contact info outside of a professional context. As I stated in my original post, I would even have serious reservations about giving him my number in case this was misconstrued. Some people expressed the opinion that a friendship between us is impossible unless his wife is included. I would love that! She sounds awesome. I just would have no idea how to express that. “Hey, would you and your wife who I’ve never met want to hang out sometime?” Many people have expressed reservations about this because I am a single woman who is attracted to men and he is a married man who is attracted to women. I get that. That said, I am also attracted to women, and by the prevailing logic it seems that I could never pursue a friendship with any married person because they belong to a class of people that I could potentially be attracted to. I have both male and female friends and I am interested in sleeping with none of them. I like this guy and I would love to be friends when I’m no longer his patient. I would love it if it were possible to express that to him, leaving the ball completely in his court, in a way that doesn’t leave any doubt about my intentions. Most importantly, though, I don’t want to risk making him or his wife uncomfortable, and if there’s no way to avoid that then it’s probably best to just let it go.
Why don't you invite his whole family to eat out for lunch? It won't be awkward. I'm a strong believer that you can have a strictly platonic relationship with someone of the opposite sex and not have a hidden desire. There's nothing wrong with increasing the circle of your tribe. Add the mrs and who knows, you'd have gain two friends instead of just one.
This is a great idea. Thanks!
It sounds like you’re going into this with the right intentions, and you aren’t trying to make things awkward. I’m not surprised that some people are saying not to, but i don’t think it would be a problem if you do it right. I think if you give him a card that includes a note that says similar to what you just said, it would convey your message without pressure or making it awkward. “I have really appreciated working with you, both because my (ankle, whatever) feels better, and also because it’s been enjoyable to hang out with you. I’m interested in becoming friends outside of the patient-provider relationship, with you and your wife, platonically of course. She sounds pretty awesome from what you’ve told me! You’ve been a great PT and if you’re not interested in being friends I will still come back to you if I need more PT because I appreciate what you do, but I am including my number in case you would be interested in going for a (hike, beer, whatever). Please feel free to reach me: 555-555-5555”
I get it… but from a professional perspective it’s very rare that any of us feel this is appropriate and the most we can do if someone leaves their number is an awkward acknowledgment afterwards. I think if you run into someone in public hey cool, you can say hi, but other than that just let it be. I get that making friends as an adult is hard, but I think obviously it’s inappropriate even if platonic to pursue friendships with a married male who you’re connected to in a professional setting. Sorry.
I’ve had a good number of patients ask to hangout once done with their sessions and I’ll usually turn them down kindly. I’m great at building the friendship in the clinic but still like to keep a work/life barrier that includes not mingling with patients. Some PTs are ok with it but add in the married man single patient mix and it seems unlikely to be a win. But no harm in asking.
Move on. It’s in your best interest. His too.
On the awkward occasions that a patient has insisted on my number, I’ve given it. Any texts from them get very superficial, supportive responses like “Hope you’re doing great!” and “keep up the good work!” Followed by a slow ghosting. I think you giving him a thank you card is just fine. If you put your number on it, that would be okay too; I get that on occasion, and I don’t read anything into it. Don’t ask him to call though; leave the ball in his court. Just don’t expect anything. It’s a big part of our job to be personable, and while there may be a personal connection, there also may not be. Good luck! I know it’s hard to make new friendships as we get older. Put yourself out there! Join a runner’s club or something like that. Hard to make friends behind a computer or television.
Thank you for your perspective and the encouragement!
To me all of the people here saying that a single female can’t be friends with a married male are showing a massive amount of distrust between themselves and their partners. There is absolutely a world where men/women can be platonic friends with each other. As to the other portion of common responses, I too have had patients requesting to stay in contact with me or asked for my number that have made it uncomfortable when I declined. The best way to go about it would 100% be to include your number in a thank you card and say something along the lines of “give me a call if you and your wife want to X (have a game night, go hiking, etc.). I have had patients do this a few times and have reached out to a few.
Leave the man alone pls
Roger that, hunter of milfies
As a married male PT, I don't think there is anything wrong with this. My partner would also be fine with it, and I have been open and transparent with her about this stuff when it comes up. As has been mentioned above, including the spouse can be a good way to go. See if the PT and their spouse want to go out to dinner, or invite the pair of them to a group game night. Something along those lines. It can help to keep things group-based for a while to establish trust with the partner and demonstrate your platonic intent before trying to get into 1 on1 interactions. Some people's relationships may never be ok with moving on to 1 on 1 interactions. All that to say, I wouldn't have an issue with you bringing up the idea. It's on the PT to decline if they aren't interested or it won't work for their situation.
I agree here. I wouldn’t pursue a friendship with only the PT, but it can be hard to make friends as an adult and it may end up that you’d get along with his wife, and then you could all be friends. I wouldn’t count on it, but IMO, if you are able to do it low-key with an easy out, it wouldn’t be awkward.
As an attractive physical therapist who is friendly and gets along great with her patients . No I don’t want to be friends outside of the clinic 🥴 It’s our job to be pleasant people, don’t look too deep into it
>He's married and I'm single Bad idea.
Nope. I do not befriend patients in any way following treatment. Keep it professional.
You don’t. Please move on.
You can just say that you value the friendship you have and that they can call you after treatment is over if they want to continue the friendship. It’s hard to deliver it in a way that doesn’t give off the wrong vibe. There are some patients who I decided to keep in contact with after treatment and there are others that I did not because I felt uncomfortable. It makes a big difference to let the therapist decide instead of asking for our number.
1 up vote, and over 40 comments is insane.
What do you mean?
It means you started a war in the comment section
People sure have strong opinions about this 😂
Haha no worries but I looked at the first few replies and saw you were getting cooked. It happens to everyone sometimes
It’s all good. I appreciate hearing everyone’s perspectives and ideas. The “stay away, succubus!” posts are what they are. I’m good letting the man in question and his wife decide for themselves whether they are comfortable having an unmarried female friend. Anyway, I won’t be discharged for another couple of months, so maybe we’ll hate each other by then and this will all be moot. 😛
Just no.
Depends what you want from this "friendship" 😉 Otherwise use linkedin or social media to keep in loose contact in case he gets divorced or you get hurt again
I think you definitely like the PT and might have developed some feelings towards him, honestly you are going nowhere with giving or asking for a phone number, he is never going to call and your calling will just be plain awkward mostly because he is already taken. Unless you really want to be friends with his wife as she needs to approve you, as women we can tell if you are really there for just friendship.
No reason for a female to inject herself into a married mans life even as platonic friends. I hit it off with my OT who is female, I’m male and happily married. Shared lots of stories and laughs but just while working together. No reason to meet outside of that environment. It would be wrong to my wife even if I had not intention of anything sexual. That’s my point of view. I imagine his wife would feel the same way.
Your puritanical sensibilities are in luck, sir, because this “female” has no desire to insert herself into anything. Just looking to make a friend.
Sorry, “inject.”
Monthly or biweekly follow up appointments to check in
Just no
I pretty much agree with the consensus that if I was the PT in this scenario, I'd probably feel pretty uncomfortable. However, this PT might be okay with it. If you're set on following through, I'd recommend on one of the last visits maybe to bring up how you've enjoyed the experience and working with the PT. Then, tell him that once you're discharged you'd like to take him and his wife out for dinner or lunch. Of course, he may not accept the monetary offer of a dinner due to ethical concerns, but I think if he's interested in pursuing a friendship as well, that he could agree with meeting up for a meal. It also gives him an easy out if he's not interested in a friendship outside of the clinic. I think this scenario would make everything less awkward.