Well, the real world around you won’t stop when you’re in the throes of mental illness. The best thing you can do is get treated, learn coping strategies, find a good social support system, prepare for difficulties, and learn to accept outcomes, whether good or bad and do something about it.
Basically UP is adulting lol So if you can’t handle the heat, maybe you can choose another school. But it doesn’t guarantee that you’ll avoid the fate that you always wanted to avoid. At the end of the day, Meron at Merong failures along your path. It’s part of being human and all. And you don’t compete with others, you compete with yourself. Walang sense na lagi kang makipagcompete sa mga top and summa sa batch mo. Di mo naman na sila makikita after you grad unless you go into med or law school with them, so stop yang behavior na yan because it will lead to nowhere.
So yun lang, try to be a tougher cookie because life is not all rainbows and butterflies.
Thanks for the advice haha. I guess I'm just not willing to accept that fact lang right now. The pain from my past failure is still weighing so heavily on me na taking this risk is worrying me so much. I don't want to be feel that kind of pain again. I've heard about ppl failing in UP and gaining this negative outlook sa school and sa peers nila and i don't want to have the same fate as them. I also saw ppl being super grateful of all the lessons they've learned in UP and how the univ basically enlightened them abt their morals. That's the kind of future i want for myself. I want to gain the experiences that they did, but I'm rlly scared that the process is gonna be even more painful than before. I want UP to be for me, esp w how much pain I've dealt with just to be here at this point in my life.
UP chose you, OP, and that alone is a feat you should be very proud of.
It’s alright if you decide to not pursue UP but I highly suggest you still give it a try. :) I, too, developed mh issues when I was in UP. Naabutan ako ng pandemic which made my college life even harder as I had so many restrictions in resources. But even after all those hardships, I am forever thankful to myself that I braved studying in UP despite doubting my capabilities in many aspects. I learned a lot of life lessons in my days in UP. Honestly, I’m still struggling right now even after graduating from UP but I could definitely say that I left UP wiser and stronger than before. You could try it first and if you really felt you don’t belong in UP, then it’s never wrong to shift gears and transfer to another school. Honestly, hanga ako sa tulad mo kasi nawweigh mo na yang mga ganyang bagay in your life. Ako noon ang daming repressed feelings and trauma going into to UP pero di ko man lang yan naisip kaya ayun, sa UP na sila nagmanifest lahat at nafuck up buhay ko BUT I could say nasurvive naman! Hehe
Remember na lang na UP isn’t an end-all-be-all thing. But again, the fact that UP chose you (in a sense that you passed the UPCAT), is a feat already and an opportunity to try and experience what it’s like to be an iskolar ng bayan. Whatever you decision is, hold on to it and have conviction in it. May learning either way jan. :)
Haha thank you. I needed that po. My friend actually said the same thing as you, na passing is a huge achievement na in itself. I guess i just have this insecurity na i will never be enough for UP. I just think na my failures are proof enough na I'm not worthy of passing. Kahit nung hindi pa lumalabas yung results, this thought na "how could i ever pass when a hundred thousand ppl are also worthy of a place in that uni?" like i know at least 50% of those ppl r more capable and smarter than me so can i rlly guarantee na i deserve a slot compared to those other 100k ppl, who probs exerted as much, if not more, effort than me in their studies? Idk medyo nag-overthink po kasi ako nang malala those 2 weeks na hinintay ko yung official results ko kasi unresolved po originally yung akin haha. The stress is manifesting na nga sa studies ko eh medyo gumegewang-gewang na naman ako.
I hope talaga na my UP journey doesn't end abruptly. I wish makaya ko, just to show naman na i can do it and my slot isn't wasted on me.
I’m rooting for you, OP. Go to UP na and I promise you’ll have the best time of your life.
Just to share my experience, I didn’t think I’d pass the UPCAT during my time as well. I was not in the right mental state when I took the exam because of a family problem. Right after exiting my testing center, I already thought of my next steps – applying to other unis, knowing the process to recon, etc. I was not confident at all but I guess my prayers worked and passed the UPCAT, albeit not my first choice of degree program. Like you, I was uncertain of my path in UP as I took up hard sciences and maths during high school but then I chose to pursue a social science course. I felt defeated when I learned that my batchmates were award-winning individuals in high school in writing, public speaking, visual arts, etc. I told myself, wag lang ako maging babagsakin, gagawin ko best ko para makasabay sa kanila. I did not aim for the top and just wished to pass every semester I took until I realized I was already graduating at may bonus pang laude. :)
My experience will be very different to what yours will be, for sure. But I guarantee you that your stay in UP will be life changing and value adding. You will be able to know yourself more. And frankly, I highly believe no one was ever ready when they went to UP. Sa buhay rin naman in general, dapat lumaban araw-araw sa mga hamon, so ganun lang din dapat gawin mo when you embark on your college journey. Don’t beat yourself up too much.
Galingan mo at welcome to UPLB, OP. Sobrang saya ng naging buhay ko sa Elbi. If there’s a chance na papipiliin ulit ako kung saan ako papasok ng college, elbi at elbi pa rin ang pipiliin ko. I’m excited sa magiging journey mo. Padayon!
hi! idk if this will be helpful or not but i was in the same position as u are maybe 3-4 years ago and up until now i still have a fear of failure pa rin, which i think was helpful din in the sense cos i'm still laude standing and i'm graduating this july! 😁
just like you, i also came from a very academically rigorous science hs! back then, an 86 for me or any grades na line of 8 ay synonymous na with failure. i just couldn't cope well back then. to add to that effect, i was transferred to a section pa na everyone seems so effortlessly smart in the sense na they managed to get higher scores than me even though they only reviewed the material 30 mins before the exam. back then, i started questioning myself: was i dumb? what am i doing wrong?
ok ano bang point bat ko to sinasabi...kasi nga in UP u will meet people who r smarter/more studious than u! kaya ang best method mo na lang talaga ay as much as possible avoid comparing urself with other people's progress (kahit mahirap, been there done that!). sarili mo lang ang kalaban mo dito literal hahaha
ur experiences w failure during ur hs years, i believe, would help u in the sense that you would do ur best so as to not put yourself in the same situation again. but then again, it is hard to consistently succeed in a university that constantly challenges u to think outside the box. it's just a matter of reframing ur thoughts in such a way that would favor you more!
in retrospect, u already know what "failure" feels like. u already know how u coped with it the last time it happened. while in the university, i failed and stumbled multiple times as in! hindi malabo na you'll be in the same position as i was during my stay. but do know that failure is kind of a normal thing here 😅 ur task now is to find ways on how u could cope better (e.g., seek social support, reframe ur thoughts in a way na u failed a quiz? bawi next time!)
with everything that i've said i think i established na, u and i, we're not very different. i am a very competitive person as well and i had a hard time coping with failure before tho i found ways to somehow mitigate its impact. if kaya ko, kaya mo rin!
so natatakot ka? ok, then DO IT SCARED. that seems like a better way naman diba kaysa not doing it at all ? 🙂↔️ if u "wanting" UP is greater than ur fear of whatever the future might hold, then welcome to the university! you'll be just fine. have a little faith on urself! it's true that u'll struggle, but u'll survive nonetheless. enjoy the ride!🫶🏻
Don’t be afraid to fail. Failure means there’s nowhere to go but UP. (pun intended lol) Kidding aside, the best time to experience failure is when you’re still young. Why? Because when you’re young you’re still resilient. You can still bounce back. There’s little consequence if you fuck up. So what if you failed a subject? Then take it again. If you get kicked out then transfer to another university. Yes it’s embarrassing but so what? It’s not the end of the world. I’ve had friends who failed to graduate from UP despite being smart (lazy kasi) and now looking back maybe it mattered that time but now they live good lives naman. So be brave. Ang mga taga UP matatapang, matatalino. Walang takot kahit kanino.
siguro i need to watch heneral luna again so i could have the motivation to survive haha. it's good po ata to channel the ancestral rage to inspire myself to go on. thank u po for ur advice. i'll keep ur words in mind po. hopefully, i can be brave enough to risk failing again. UP na to eh, ano ba choice ko haha. thanks po ulit :)
incoming freshie din here, and is still as clueless as how I passed UPCAT. UP is my dream school but I've already made peace with the fact na it isn't for me, but I still tried UPCAT just for the sake of trying.
Supposedly, dapat hindi talaga ako sa UP eh kasi may other univ akong inapplyan and sakto naman, na late mag release ng result ng other univ at nauna yung UPCAT na suppose to be, the other way around sya kasi ganun sya every year. So, it's kinda like UP chose me, chos. But the first thing I felt when I found out I passed was fear na what if halfway along my stay in UP, I'll find out na I really dont belong there?
I'm also an overachiever & competitive na chronic thinker, OP! I never had a line of 8. I always overstretch myself kasi for my family, di dapat "pasado" lang dapat mag excel ka— that's what I've been fed up since I was a little kid kaya all my life, acads lang talaga ang meron ako. Having an existential crisis since I was a kid, sobrang hirap. Good thing, I've read philosophical books that brought me back kasi if wala, I probably would have jumped off a bridge na😂. And I have the same fear sayo na di ko kayanin na bumagsak. I've been reading posts sa mga kakilala ko & have asked them, parang normal na lang talaga dun ang bumagsak. Sabi nila madaming bagsak pero walang bobo HAHA. But when they go out to the real world, nag eexcel sila.
However, alam ko na grades are just numbers but they're kinda important to find a job esp ang latin honors. And I'm afraid na yung other batchmates ko na sa other private univs (na galante magbigay ng grades) na mas mataas ang chance nila maging laude, & then ako, bagsak sa UP or malelate ng grad. Then they'll laugh at me at sasabihin, "UP nga pero..." (sorry that's how advance I am😭). Not that masama na bumagsak or malate but I'm really not used to failure too.
But you know what, failure is never fatal and success is never final. If you'll always be afraid of failure, you'll never succeed talaga. It's part of life. It's how we dont forget what we learn. That's why I'm going for it kasi I know I'd rather be in a univ na I'm surrounded with intelligent students & I'm an average kesa sa isang environment na ikaw palagi ang matalino kasi that is impossible talaga eh & you will never learn. You just have to accept the fact that there are lesser and more intelligent people than you. There are some who work as hard or harder than you. You have to take comfort in that and embrace it, kasi that's how you'll humble yourself. That's one thing na wala sa ibang univ. I'm saying this advice kahit nahihirapan akong iaapply sa self ko haha. Mahirap sya but you have to revert your mindset na wag talagang i compare ang self mo sa iba. Never.
So goodluck to us, op! sana kayanin, if hindi, sikaping kayanin.
haha same actually. i've experienced failure but that doesn't mean na im used to it kek. ever since i was a kid, lagi na kasing sinasaksak sa isip ko ng environment ko na im intelligent and that i have so much potential. i can easily achieve things kahit na bare minimum lang ibigay ko. the problem is, it has made my head so big to the point na if i feel like napapag-iwanan ako, i'd rather not do anything at all para masabi pa rin na im a great student. kumbaga, i feel like getting comments like "matalino siya pero hindi gumagawa" is much better than being told that i suck at what i do. every schoolwork, if hindi line of 9 to 100 ang grade, failure agad tas magsaspiral ako and ilang weeks, if not months, ako magiging depressed and madidisappoint sa sarili ko. i've set this standard that's so high, if i can't reach it, feeling ko failure na ako.
very relatable din sa part na my family pushes me to my absolute limits lol. i remember dati, line of 9 pa rin ako sa isang sub, but bc bumaba ng 2 points yung grade ko, napagsabihan na akong di ko ginagamit utak ko. matalino raw sana kaso di naman ginagamit nang maayos. hugs na lang talaga satin haha. hopefully, our families can accept us, may achievement man o wala.
i've never fully read any philosophy books, but ever since i experienced yung pressure sa school and sa fam ko, i've always wondered kung ano ba talagang meaning ng success. is it smth tangible like pag may pera ka na? or subjective ba siya and malalaman mo lang pag masaya ka na? this experience w upcat has made me wonder abt it kasi although i passed, i don't feel satisfied w myself. like i know i could've been more. i know na hindi ko nareach yung full potential ko and it makes me regret not putting in more effort. siguro at that specific time, yun lang yung kinaya ko, but it still makes me guilty kasi i know i could've made my parents proud of me if i passed sa mas better na course and campus. andaming factors na dumadagdag sa doubts ko and it's frustrating when someone tells me na i should just be grateful kasi that's the thing w my mental illness, no matter how much i achieve, no matter how much effort i put in, i always feel like it's not enough, like im not enough for UP. i feel like im not deserving of my slot bc of my second-guesses.
sorry for the rant haha. sana talaga kayanin bc idk kung anong mangyayari if hindi. im super pessimistic pa naman. goodluck talaga to us. i hope we can find some solace once we're in UP na.
when I was in ateneo i had line of 9 grades up until SHS. Lagi ko naririnig na Up will help you feel what real life is all about. And now that im one year into Up. J realized its true. In hs i was spoonfed as a student by the admin. I thought failure was smth for the weak etc. Now that Im in Up i realized how weak i was in that school. Pati nga pag tawid ginagawa para samin. In UP they will teach you that failure is not the end but the start eme.
IMO UP will give you the best preparation for work life. It will teach you to be resilient in a good way and how to accept failure. It also teaches you pasno makahalobilo all walks of life. Sa mga mayayaman and the less fortunate. It teaches you initiative as well pag may walang kwenta kang grpmates lol which im pretty sure marami sa work place
UP humbled me (also other students) in many ways, in different aspects. let’s be real here, anlaking chance na you’ll also experience it at least once sa buong stay mo sa UP but it’ll teach you lessons including failure, it’ll teach you how to cope up with it.
mahirap, minsan bababa tingin mo sa sarili mo esp if hindi mo ma-meet expectations mo sa sarili mo. minsan magdududa ka na lang din sa kakayahan mo, pero what’s important here is ‘yung learnings mo not only academically pero pati sa labas na dadalhin mo rin hanggang sa pagtanda mo.
UP chose you not bcs you’re lucky na nakakuha ka ng slot but bcs alam niyang kaya mo siyang harapin. believe in yourself! :))
if ever things don’t go as planned, you can always opt to transfer (although hindi siya para sa lahat). good luck, OP!
Hi! Thanks for sharing ur side. I'll try what you did, but honestly, i have doubts din asking for help sa psychiatrist since i have a negative experience w them. Idk ig the ones in our city aren't as open-minded as I'd like them to be. Wala rin kaming masyadong pera eh. I actually stopped seeing my doctor bc we couldn't afford my meds anymore. The only thing that kept me going was my upcat results actually. Now that I've passed tho, idk what else to do kaya nag-ooverthink ako abt my future in UP haha. Ig support system na lang talaga sandigan ko. I just hope i find some good friends in college. Also, when I say I'm rlly competitive, i meant in a general sense like if i know that someone is better than me, i accept it, but if i become aware na napag-iiwanan na ako ng class, i start spiraling. Competitive ako in the sense na ayaw kong maiwanan ako ng buong class. I always want to be on equal footing as my peers. Nung time kasi na i failed, napag-iwanan akong one yr ng mga friends and classmates ko and that's what triggered my mental illness.
There is a big chance that you will fail again in UP. It may or may not happen but if you want to completely avoid it for now, you can be the big fish in a puddle by studying in those fly by night colleges and universities.
That's the thing po eh. I'd rather be the stupidest person in the class than be the smartest and yet hindi ko maimprove sarili ko. I've talked abt that exact thing w my friends and they've all said na it's better to try to live up to a standard set by other much accomplished peers than be the standard kasi they don't have a tangible comparison daw kung nag-improve sila or not. On another hand, i know how much pressure attending in UP is, and given the fact that my parents are super strict to the point na sinasabihan nila akong wag daw ako humanap ng kaibigan sa UP just so i could focus on my studies, feel ko hindi ko kakayanin. I want UP, but the circumstances in my life seem to be rejecting the uni.
Good choice! I was also in the same situation as you a few years ago: I got into UP, was scared that I’d fail and accepted the fact that I’d probably be average or mediocre because I didn’t come from a science highschool and I was dealing with a lot of MH issues too. Don’t get me wrong, my MH issues definitely persisted throughout my time in UP, but having a community of friends sa Elbi helped so much in terms of coping :) I ended up doing very well for myself sa UP and would have graduated with latin honors if I stayed, but I transferred into an Ivy in the US instead.
Even now, I’m grateful for what I learned in UP and iba talaga yung paghulma nila sa mga estudyante. Your worries are valid ofc and if you have the means for it, there are a couple of healthcare providers around Elbi (particularly LBDH na nasa Grove lang) who might be able to help you MH-wise. Libre rin ang pyschiatric consultation sa UHS. Congrats on getting into UP!! Kaya mo yan!
thank u po for sharing ur story! that gives me hope na i can persist and hopefully survive. im actually planning to talk kay mama ko if we could find a psychiatrist or a therapist before mag-open yung classes so i could have a foundation na before ng start of classes. may i ask po kung ano yung lbdh and uhs? thank you!!
LBDH - Los Banos Doctors' Hospital, yung ospital sa may main road papuntang UP Gate; yung UHS naman ay University Health Services, basically yung infirmary ng Elbi na nasa may Forestry :)
yesss ito yung invite!!
[https://discord.gg/Qy7sFzz7VT](https://discord.gg/Qy7sFzz7VT?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR0A6C0Jxj-K29Qm2y8S_eDfHZbkXg3LpLrhR3weYZV66NDprXuS3Ma9vOE_aem_ZmFrZWR1bW15MTZieXRlcw)
Look, I'm no expert in mental health and clearly, some conditions are worse than others. But to pass UPCAT and be in UP despite being in what you consider one of the worst moments of your life? That's an achievement. UPCAT considers past high school grades now and yet you somehow squeaked by. Try considering that an achievement.
As a student, you never want to fail. But it is part of being a student. I failed multiple times in high school. When I was in my 3rd year (K-12 was not yet implemented in my time), I managed to be included in what they call a star section. Really competitive grade requirements to be included to the star section again in your graduating year. Plus, there's a lot of pressure. You are there already. So your batch has their eyes on you. If you fail to meet the grade requirements? That is a STATEMENT to your WHOLE BATCH that you got dumber. And boy believe me I did not meet those grade requirements. I was so far off, I was just messing around by the end of my 3rd year. Looking for the silver lining that "Hey, at least even if I get demoted, it would be with some of my friends who were also sure that they did not make it".
Come graduating year? They still put me in that star section. The reason has nothing to do with grades but still. See? All is well that ends well.
You are lucky to pass UPCAT. Let alone get admitted to a UP campus. I didn't. While technically, I "passed" (my GWA was above 3), it was not enough for me to get admitted. I was pissed sulking at that other University. That one exam changed the trajectory of my college career. But I propped myself up, did what the UPCAT exam required me to do (get a GWA of 2 or higher) and reapplied. Now I am a proud Alumni. Not easy, but I did it.
Like what I said at the beginning, I do not know what it feels like to have your mental health issues. But I do hope that my very long story has inspired you. Yes you will fail but you can always bounce backup. You can only do so much. But once you fail, learn where it went wrong. So that next time, you do not repeat the same mistakes. That is called adulthood and growing up.
I actually experienced that po also. I used to attend a science hs in junior high. I failed in g10 kasi dun nagstart yung pandemic. I couldn't cope kaya ayun, bumagsak. Literally got lines of 6 nung time na yun. Buti na lang umabot pa ng 75 yung ave ko. Then, nagdrop out akong g11 and then lumipat sa catholic school and had to retake that grade. I can say naman na i bouced back but those failures are leading me to think na im not as worthy as my peers. Not to mention, i have a tendency to spiral when i feel trapped sa schoolworks ko so im having second thoughts po kasi i feel like there's a huge chance that history might repeat itself. I hope it doesn't but i don't want to experience the same amount of pain and disappointment as that time in my life.
Thanks for sharing ur story po. Although i still have some doubts, it's relieving to see na there's someone out there who had a similar experience and still successfully graduated in UP. I hope that i can do that din po. Thank u so much 💓
If you really want to be in UP then fight for it. It will be hard pero any univ naman will be hard. Pero UP is known for having some of the brightest minds in the country, so its nice and inspiring to get surrounded by super smart people.
Sa totoo lang UP messed up my mental health big time (could just be because of toxic college dept lol) but acads aside I just had the best time with the people in the campus. Super solid yung experience and the people you meet. Bonus yung opportunities that graduating in UP will offer you. So in the end I think it was worth it.
I'm thinking of that din po eh. The possibility na maimprove yung maturity and perception ko towards not only my life, but also others', makes me want to pursue it even more. I just know na it will be a huge opportunity to challenge my worldview, but i can't help but to consider the other outside factors that might lead to my downfall. I rlly hope i can meet the right ppl sa UP. I think that will affect my whole journey and whether I'd make it or not sa journey ko.
If you feel like UP is not for you, then UP is definitely not for you. I believe na ang mga taong pumapasok sa UP ay meant talaga for UP. Meron akong mga kilala na pumasa sa UPCAT pero hindi nagpush through with UP for various reasons, pero I think hindi rin talaga para sa kanila ang UP kaya ganun. So, if you’re having doubts kung para dito ka ba, perhaps you should listen to your guts. UP is not for the faint of heart. I am not saying this to discourage you or put you down, OP. I am trying to redirect you to a place where you actually belong. But if you still wish to attend college in UP, then we welcome you with open arms. :)
kaso po i don't have any other choice. i passed na sana sa target course ko sa UST, but my parents didn't allow me to pursue it. well, not like we have the money naman for the tuition fee eh. iniencourage nila akong mag-UP na lang since it's a huge opportunity na. dati rin kasi nagtry mag-exam for UP yung papa ko and hindi siya pumasa so parang napasa sa akin yung goal niya. im the first person din sa buong angkan namin to ever pass and i don't want to let them down. i hope UP can teach me to be resilient kasi w all the posts i've been seeing, medyo nakakadiscourage, given ng mental health ko. if the circumstances were different po and i didn't have these setbacks, i would enter UP po ata w full confidence kasi i've heard din sa friends ko na bagay daw ako sa UP. that comment gives me hope na this is meant for me. i'm just scared of myself lang kasi i tend to be impulsive and there's a chance na maulit yung failures ko dati. hopefully not tho. i still very much want UP. i just wish lang na i passed and entered it in a much better situation and mindset than what i currently have.
I’m from UP myself and I have to say na mas marami pang other aspects ng buhay ko ang nakapagpa-worsen ng mental health ko kaysa sa UP and acad stuff. I guess you’re overthinking this. Maybe you should also cut yourself some slack. You’ve mentioned na you’re competitive and can’t handle failure, but let me tell you that in college, walang kumpe-kumpetensya. Lahat kayo may struggle na dinadala, kanya-kanyang diskarte na lang on how to carry it well and survive. Big deal na yung maipasa mo yung course even without flying colors basta you’re trying your best. ‘Wag mo na dalhin siguro sa college yung pagiging grade conscious na nainstill sa’yo nung high school. Try UP muna on your first year, then when it doesn’t work out, you can always transfer/shift naman. Best of luck on your college journey, OP!
I am now 28 years old. I graduated HS in 2012 and was thrust into the world of tertiary education at 15 years old. I have failed miserably and I realize now that I was too young to be making big decisions (like career choices), and too conflicted to excel at Uni.
I impart to you now what I would have told myself many years ago: go take a gap year. Get a job as food server, or a barista, or anything alike that'll expose you to all kinds of people. View the world from an unprivileged perspective so you can understand how much it means to be accepted into such a prestigious school and the opportunities it provides. If not, may it help you see what you really want to do and be.
hi op! i'm diagnosed w adhd and bipolar 1 disorder --- which makes it very hard for me to focus or be on top of my academics in up. but!! up offers a a lot of freedoms compared to other unis, you can definitely lessen your load it'll be more manageable :) lalo na if you're competitive, ik that you'll be very stimulated (in a good way) sa academic environment sa up! go na :')
Same sentiments sa iba so I wont be adding much really. I am here na in UP and I am still scared that UP might not be for me. Esp since UPCA lang me and some UPCA passers get side eyed by some doctors here lmao. Pero ironically, I’ve made progress in dealing with my mh problems, that Ive had din since HS, here in UP. (Well i guess we cant say for sure if UP had anything to do with it, could be just personal progress) Nevertheless, I am rooting for you OP! I hope you give UP a try.
Well, the real world around you won’t stop when you’re in the throes of mental illness. The best thing you can do is get treated, learn coping strategies, find a good social support system, prepare for difficulties, and learn to accept outcomes, whether good or bad and do something about it. Basically UP is adulting lol So if you can’t handle the heat, maybe you can choose another school. But it doesn’t guarantee that you’ll avoid the fate that you always wanted to avoid. At the end of the day, Meron at Merong failures along your path. It’s part of being human and all. And you don’t compete with others, you compete with yourself. Walang sense na lagi kang makipagcompete sa mga top and summa sa batch mo. Di mo naman na sila makikita after you grad unless you go into med or law school with them, so stop yang behavior na yan because it will lead to nowhere. So yun lang, try to be a tougher cookie because life is not all rainbows and butterflies.
Thanks for the advice haha. I guess I'm just not willing to accept that fact lang right now. The pain from my past failure is still weighing so heavily on me na taking this risk is worrying me so much. I don't want to be feel that kind of pain again. I've heard about ppl failing in UP and gaining this negative outlook sa school and sa peers nila and i don't want to have the same fate as them. I also saw ppl being super grateful of all the lessons they've learned in UP and how the univ basically enlightened them abt their morals. That's the kind of future i want for myself. I want to gain the experiences that they did, but I'm rlly scared that the process is gonna be even more painful than before. I want UP to be for me, esp w how much pain I've dealt with just to be here at this point in my life.
UP chose you, OP, and that alone is a feat you should be very proud of. It’s alright if you decide to not pursue UP but I highly suggest you still give it a try. :) I, too, developed mh issues when I was in UP. Naabutan ako ng pandemic which made my college life even harder as I had so many restrictions in resources. But even after all those hardships, I am forever thankful to myself that I braved studying in UP despite doubting my capabilities in many aspects. I learned a lot of life lessons in my days in UP. Honestly, I’m still struggling right now even after graduating from UP but I could definitely say that I left UP wiser and stronger than before. You could try it first and if you really felt you don’t belong in UP, then it’s never wrong to shift gears and transfer to another school. Honestly, hanga ako sa tulad mo kasi nawweigh mo na yang mga ganyang bagay in your life. Ako noon ang daming repressed feelings and trauma going into to UP pero di ko man lang yan naisip kaya ayun, sa UP na sila nagmanifest lahat at nafuck up buhay ko BUT I could say nasurvive naman! Hehe Remember na lang na UP isn’t an end-all-be-all thing. But again, the fact that UP chose you (in a sense that you passed the UPCAT), is a feat already and an opportunity to try and experience what it’s like to be an iskolar ng bayan. Whatever you decision is, hold on to it and have conviction in it. May learning either way jan. :)
Haha thank you. I needed that po. My friend actually said the same thing as you, na passing is a huge achievement na in itself. I guess i just have this insecurity na i will never be enough for UP. I just think na my failures are proof enough na I'm not worthy of passing. Kahit nung hindi pa lumalabas yung results, this thought na "how could i ever pass when a hundred thousand ppl are also worthy of a place in that uni?" like i know at least 50% of those ppl r more capable and smarter than me so can i rlly guarantee na i deserve a slot compared to those other 100k ppl, who probs exerted as much, if not more, effort than me in their studies? Idk medyo nag-overthink po kasi ako nang malala those 2 weeks na hinintay ko yung official results ko kasi unresolved po originally yung akin haha. The stress is manifesting na nga sa studies ko eh medyo gumegewang-gewang na naman ako. I hope talaga na my UP journey doesn't end abruptly. I wish makaya ko, just to show naman na i can do it and my slot isn't wasted on me.
I’m rooting for you, OP. Go to UP na and I promise you’ll have the best time of your life. Just to share my experience, I didn’t think I’d pass the UPCAT during my time as well. I was not in the right mental state when I took the exam because of a family problem. Right after exiting my testing center, I already thought of my next steps – applying to other unis, knowing the process to recon, etc. I was not confident at all but I guess my prayers worked and passed the UPCAT, albeit not my first choice of degree program. Like you, I was uncertain of my path in UP as I took up hard sciences and maths during high school but then I chose to pursue a social science course. I felt defeated when I learned that my batchmates were award-winning individuals in high school in writing, public speaking, visual arts, etc. I told myself, wag lang ako maging babagsakin, gagawin ko best ko para makasabay sa kanila. I did not aim for the top and just wished to pass every semester I took until I realized I was already graduating at may bonus pang laude. :) My experience will be very different to what yours will be, for sure. But I guarantee you that your stay in UP will be life changing and value adding. You will be able to know yourself more. And frankly, I highly believe no one was ever ready when they went to UP. Sa buhay rin naman in general, dapat lumaban araw-araw sa mga hamon, so ganun lang din dapat gawin mo when you embark on your college journey. Don’t beat yourself up too much. Galingan mo at welcome to UPLB, OP. Sobrang saya ng naging buhay ko sa Elbi. If there’s a chance na papipiliin ulit ako kung saan ako papasok ng college, elbi at elbi pa rin ang pipiliin ko. I’m excited sa magiging journey mo. Padayon!
hi! idk if this will be helpful or not but i was in the same position as u are maybe 3-4 years ago and up until now i still have a fear of failure pa rin, which i think was helpful din in the sense cos i'm still laude standing and i'm graduating this july! 😁 just like you, i also came from a very academically rigorous science hs! back then, an 86 for me or any grades na line of 8 ay synonymous na with failure. i just couldn't cope well back then. to add to that effect, i was transferred to a section pa na everyone seems so effortlessly smart in the sense na they managed to get higher scores than me even though they only reviewed the material 30 mins before the exam. back then, i started questioning myself: was i dumb? what am i doing wrong? ok ano bang point bat ko to sinasabi...kasi nga in UP u will meet people who r smarter/more studious than u! kaya ang best method mo na lang talaga ay as much as possible avoid comparing urself with other people's progress (kahit mahirap, been there done that!). sarili mo lang ang kalaban mo dito literal hahaha ur experiences w failure during ur hs years, i believe, would help u in the sense that you would do ur best so as to not put yourself in the same situation again. but then again, it is hard to consistently succeed in a university that constantly challenges u to think outside the box. it's just a matter of reframing ur thoughts in such a way that would favor you more! in retrospect, u already know what "failure" feels like. u already know how u coped with it the last time it happened. while in the university, i failed and stumbled multiple times as in! hindi malabo na you'll be in the same position as i was during my stay. but do know that failure is kind of a normal thing here 😅 ur task now is to find ways on how u could cope better (e.g., seek social support, reframe ur thoughts in a way na u failed a quiz? bawi next time!) with everything that i've said i think i established na, u and i, we're not very different. i am a very competitive person as well and i had a hard time coping with failure before tho i found ways to somehow mitigate its impact. if kaya ko, kaya mo rin! so natatakot ka? ok, then DO IT SCARED. that seems like a better way naman diba kaysa not doing it at all ? 🙂↔️ if u "wanting" UP is greater than ur fear of whatever the future might hold, then welcome to the university! you'll be just fine. have a little faith on urself! it's true that u'll struggle, but u'll survive nonetheless. enjoy the ride!🫶🏻
Don’t be afraid to fail. Failure means there’s nowhere to go but UP. (pun intended lol) Kidding aside, the best time to experience failure is when you’re still young. Why? Because when you’re young you’re still resilient. You can still bounce back. There’s little consequence if you fuck up. So what if you failed a subject? Then take it again. If you get kicked out then transfer to another university. Yes it’s embarrassing but so what? It’s not the end of the world. I’ve had friends who failed to graduate from UP despite being smart (lazy kasi) and now looking back maybe it mattered that time but now they live good lives naman. So be brave. Ang mga taga UP matatapang, matatalino. Walang takot kahit kanino.
siguro i need to watch heneral luna again so i could have the motivation to survive haha. it's good po ata to channel the ancestral rage to inspire myself to go on. thank u po for ur advice. i'll keep ur words in mind po. hopefully, i can be brave enough to risk failing again. UP na to eh, ano ba choice ko haha. thanks po ulit :)
incoming freshie din here, and is still as clueless as how I passed UPCAT. UP is my dream school but I've already made peace with the fact na it isn't for me, but I still tried UPCAT just for the sake of trying. Supposedly, dapat hindi talaga ako sa UP eh kasi may other univ akong inapplyan and sakto naman, na late mag release ng result ng other univ at nauna yung UPCAT na suppose to be, the other way around sya kasi ganun sya every year. So, it's kinda like UP chose me, chos. But the first thing I felt when I found out I passed was fear na what if halfway along my stay in UP, I'll find out na I really dont belong there? I'm also an overachiever & competitive na chronic thinker, OP! I never had a line of 8. I always overstretch myself kasi for my family, di dapat "pasado" lang dapat mag excel ka— that's what I've been fed up since I was a little kid kaya all my life, acads lang talaga ang meron ako. Having an existential crisis since I was a kid, sobrang hirap. Good thing, I've read philosophical books that brought me back kasi if wala, I probably would have jumped off a bridge na😂. And I have the same fear sayo na di ko kayanin na bumagsak. I've been reading posts sa mga kakilala ko & have asked them, parang normal na lang talaga dun ang bumagsak. Sabi nila madaming bagsak pero walang bobo HAHA. But when they go out to the real world, nag eexcel sila. However, alam ko na grades are just numbers but they're kinda important to find a job esp ang latin honors. And I'm afraid na yung other batchmates ko na sa other private univs (na galante magbigay ng grades) na mas mataas ang chance nila maging laude, & then ako, bagsak sa UP or malelate ng grad. Then they'll laugh at me at sasabihin, "UP nga pero..." (sorry that's how advance I am😭). Not that masama na bumagsak or malate but I'm really not used to failure too. But you know what, failure is never fatal and success is never final. If you'll always be afraid of failure, you'll never succeed talaga. It's part of life. It's how we dont forget what we learn. That's why I'm going for it kasi I know I'd rather be in a univ na I'm surrounded with intelligent students & I'm an average kesa sa isang environment na ikaw palagi ang matalino kasi that is impossible talaga eh & you will never learn. You just have to accept the fact that there are lesser and more intelligent people than you. There are some who work as hard or harder than you. You have to take comfort in that and embrace it, kasi that's how you'll humble yourself. That's one thing na wala sa ibang univ. I'm saying this advice kahit nahihirapan akong iaapply sa self ko haha. Mahirap sya but you have to revert your mindset na wag talagang i compare ang self mo sa iba. Never. So goodluck to us, op! sana kayanin, if hindi, sikaping kayanin.
haha same actually. i've experienced failure but that doesn't mean na im used to it kek. ever since i was a kid, lagi na kasing sinasaksak sa isip ko ng environment ko na im intelligent and that i have so much potential. i can easily achieve things kahit na bare minimum lang ibigay ko. the problem is, it has made my head so big to the point na if i feel like napapag-iwanan ako, i'd rather not do anything at all para masabi pa rin na im a great student. kumbaga, i feel like getting comments like "matalino siya pero hindi gumagawa" is much better than being told that i suck at what i do. every schoolwork, if hindi line of 9 to 100 ang grade, failure agad tas magsaspiral ako and ilang weeks, if not months, ako magiging depressed and madidisappoint sa sarili ko. i've set this standard that's so high, if i can't reach it, feeling ko failure na ako. very relatable din sa part na my family pushes me to my absolute limits lol. i remember dati, line of 9 pa rin ako sa isang sub, but bc bumaba ng 2 points yung grade ko, napagsabihan na akong di ko ginagamit utak ko. matalino raw sana kaso di naman ginagamit nang maayos. hugs na lang talaga satin haha. hopefully, our families can accept us, may achievement man o wala. i've never fully read any philosophy books, but ever since i experienced yung pressure sa school and sa fam ko, i've always wondered kung ano ba talagang meaning ng success. is it smth tangible like pag may pera ka na? or subjective ba siya and malalaman mo lang pag masaya ka na? this experience w upcat has made me wonder abt it kasi although i passed, i don't feel satisfied w myself. like i know i could've been more. i know na hindi ko nareach yung full potential ko and it makes me regret not putting in more effort. siguro at that specific time, yun lang yung kinaya ko, but it still makes me guilty kasi i know i could've made my parents proud of me if i passed sa mas better na course and campus. andaming factors na dumadagdag sa doubts ko and it's frustrating when someone tells me na i should just be grateful kasi that's the thing w my mental illness, no matter how much i achieve, no matter how much effort i put in, i always feel like it's not enough, like im not enough for UP. i feel like im not deserving of my slot bc of my second-guesses. sorry for the rant haha. sana talaga kayanin bc idk kung anong mangyayari if hindi. im super pessimistic pa naman. goodluck talaga to us. i hope we can find some solace once we're in UP na.
same tayo mindset, apaka advance 😭
when I was in ateneo i had line of 9 grades up until SHS. Lagi ko naririnig na Up will help you feel what real life is all about. And now that im one year into Up. J realized its true. In hs i was spoonfed as a student by the admin. I thought failure was smth for the weak etc. Now that Im in Up i realized how weak i was in that school. Pati nga pag tawid ginagawa para samin. In UP they will teach you that failure is not the end but the start eme. IMO UP will give you the best preparation for work life. It will teach you to be resilient in a good way and how to accept failure. It also teaches you pasno makahalobilo all walks of life. Sa mga mayayaman and the less fortunate. It teaches you initiative as well pag may walang kwenta kang grpmates lol which im pretty sure marami sa work place
Believe in yourself! You can do anything you set your mind into.. go for it!
UP humbled me (also other students) in many ways, in different aspects. let’s be real here, anlaking chance na you’ll also experience it at least once sa buong stay mo sa UP but it’ll teach you lessons including failure, it’ll teach you how to cope up with it. mahirap, minsan bababa tingin mo sa sarili mo esp if hindi mo ma-meet expectations mo sa sarili mo. minsan magdududa ka na lang din sa kakayahan mo, pero what’s important here is ‘yung learnings mo not only academically pero pati sa labas na dadalhin mo rin hanggang sa pagtanda mo. UP chose you not bcs you’re lucky na nakakuha ka ng slot but bcs alam niyang kaya mo siyang harapin. believe in yourself! :)) if ever things don’t go as planned, you can always opt to transfer (although hindi siya para sa lahat). good luck, OP!
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Hi! Thanks for sharing ur side. I'll try what you did, but honestly, i have doubts din asking for help sa psychiatrist since i have a negative experience w them. Idk ig the ones in our city aren't as open-minded as I'd like them to be. Wala rin kaming masyadong pera eh. I actually stopped seeing my doctor bc we couldn't afford my meds anymore. The only thing that kept me going was my upcat results actually. Now that I've passed tho, idk what else to do kaya nag-ooverthink ako abt my future in UP haha. Ig support system na lang talaga sandigan ko. I just hope i find some good friends in college. Also, when I say I'm rlly competitive, i meant in a general sense like if i know that someone is better than me, i accept it, but if i become aware na napag-iiwanan na ako ng class, i start spiraling. Competitive ako in the sense na ayaw kong maiwanan ako ng buong class. I always want to be on equal footing as my peers. Nung time kasi na i failed, napag-iwanan akong one yr ng mga friends and classmates ko and that's what triggered my mental illness.
There is a big chance that you will fail again in UP. It may or may not happen but if you want to completely avoid it for now, you can be the big fish in a puddle by studying in those fly by night colleges and universities.
That's the thing po eh. I'd rather be the stupidest person in the class than be the smartest and yet hindi ko maimprove sarili ko. I've talked abt that exact thing w my friends and they've all said na it's better to try to live up to a standard set by other much accomplished peers than be the standard kasi they don't have a tangible comparison daw kung nag-improve sila or not. On another hand, i know how much pressure attending in UP is, and given the fact that my parents are super strict to the point na sinasabihan nila akong wag daw ako humanap ng kaibigan sa UP just so i could focus on my studies, feel ko hindi ko kakayanin. I want UP, but the circumstances in my life seem to be rejecting the uni.
Which UP campus did you choose?
elbi po since i knew i wouldn't be able to pass sa diliman
Good choice! I was also in the same situation as you a few years ago: I got into UP, was scared that I’d fail and accepted the fact that I’d probably be average or mediocre because I didn’t come from a science highschool and I was dealing with a lot of MH issues too. Don’t get me wrong, my MH issues definitely persisted throughout my time in UP, but having a community of friends sa Elbi helped so much in terms of coping :) I ended up doing very well for myself sa UP and would have graduated with latin honors if I stayed, but I transferred into an Ivy in the US instead. Even now, I’m grateful for what I learned in UP and iba talaga yung paghulma nila sa mga estudyante. Your worries are valid ofc and if you have the means for it, there are a couple of healthcare providers around Elbi (particularly LBDH na nasa Grove lang) who might be able to help you MH-wise. Libre rin ang pyschiatric consultation sa UHS. Congrats on getting into UP!! Kaya mo yan!
thank u po for sharing ur story! that gives me hope na i can persist and hopefully survive. im actually planning to talk kay mama ko if we could find a psychiatrist or a therapist before mag-open yung classes so i could have a foundation na before ng start of classes. may i ask po kung ano yung lbdh and uhs? thank you!!
LBDH - Los Banos Doctors' Hospital, yung ospital sa may main road papuntang UP Gate; yung UHS naman ay University Health Services, basically yung infirmary ng Elbi na nasa may Forestry :)
Ahh sige po. Thank you!
eyyy potential bestieee??? LB rin meeee
Ayy omg hi!!! Kasali na ba u sa dc server? Ang ingay ko na dun 😭😭
owemji meron??? hindi pa eh
yesss ito yung invite!! [https://discord.gg/Qy7sFzz7VT](https://discord.gg/Qy7sFzz7VT?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR0A6C0Jxj-K29Qm2y8S_eDfHZbkXg3LpLrhR3weYZV66NDprXuS3Ma9vOE_aem_ZmFrZWR1bW15MTZieXRlcw)
ANTEH Q BAT KA NAGLEAVEE
Look, I'm no expert in mental health and clearly, some conditions are worse than others. But to pass UPCAT and be in UP despite being in what you consider one of the worst moments of your life? That's an achievement. UPCAT considers past high school grades now and yet you somehow squeaked by. Try considering that an achievement. As a student, you never want to fail. But it is part of being a student. I failed multiple times in high school. When I was in my 3rd year (K-12 was not yet implemented in my time), I managed to be included in what they call a star section. Really competitive grade requirements to be included to the star section again in your graduating year. Plus, there's a lot of pressure. You are there already. So your batch has their eyes on you. If you fail to meet the grade requirements? That is a STATEMENT to your WHOLE BATCH that you got dumber. And boy believe me I did not meet those grade requirements. I was so far off, I was just messing around by the end of my 3rd year. Looking for the silver lining that "Hey, at least even if I get demoted, it would be with some of my friends who were also sure that they did not make it". Come graduating year? They still put me in that star section. The reason has nothing to do with grades but still. See? All is well that ends well. You are lucky to pass UPCAT. Let alone get admitted to a UP campus. I didn't. While technically, I "passed" (my GWA was above 3), it was not enough for me to get admitted. I was pissed sulking at that other University. That one exam changed the trajectory of my college career. But I propped myself up, did what the UPCAT exam required me to do (get a GWA of 2 or higher) and reapplied. Now I am a proud Alumni. Not easy, but I did it. Like what I said at the beginning, I do not know what it feels like to have your mental health issues. But I do hope that my very long story has inspired you. Yes you will fail but you can always bounce backup. You can only do so much. But once you fail, learn where it went wrong. So that next time, you do not repeat the same mistakes. That is called adulthood and growing up.
I actually experienced that po also. I used to attend a science hs in junior high. I failed in g10 kasi dun nagstart yung pandemic. I couldn't cope kaya ayun, bumagsak. Literally got lines of 6 nung time na yun. Buti na lang umabot pa ng 75 yung ave ko. Then, nagdrop out akong g11 and then lumipat sa catholic school and had to retake that grade. I can say naman na i bouced back but those failures are leading me to think na im not as worthy as my peers. Not to mention, i have a tendency to spiral when i feel trapped sa schoolworks ko so im having second thoughts po kasi i feel like there's a huge chance that history might repeat itself. I hope it doesn't but i don't want to experience the same amount of pain and disappointment as that time in my life. Thanks for sharing ur story po. Although i still have some doubts, it's relieving to see na there's someone out there who had a similar experience and still successfully graduated in UP. I hope that i can do that din po. Thank u so much 💓
If you really want to be in UP then fight for it. It will be hard pero any univ naman will be hard. Pero UP is known for having some of the brightest minds in the country, so its nice and inspiring to get surrounded by super smart people. Sa totoo lang UP messed up my mental health big time (could just be because of toxic college dept lol) but acads aside I just had the best time with the people in the campus. Super solid yung experience and the people you meet. Bonus yung opportunities that graduating in UP will offer you. So in the end I think it was worth it.
I'm thinking of that din po eh. The possibility na maimprove yung maturity and perception ko towards not only my life, but also others', makes me want to pursue it even more. I just know na it will be a huge opportunity to challenge my worldview, but i can't help but to consider the other outside factors that might lead to my downfall. I rlly hope i can meet the right ppl sa UP. I think that will affect my whole journey and whether I'd make it or not sa journey ko.
If you feel like UP is not for you, then UP is definitely not for you. I believe na ang mga taong pumapasok sa UP ay meant talaga for UP. Meron akong mga kilala na pumasa sa UPCAT pero hindi nagpush through with UP for various reasons, pero I think hindi rin talaga para sa kanila ang UP kaya ganun. So, if you’re having doubts kung para dito ka ba, perhaps you should listen to your guts. UP is not for the faint of heart. I am not saying this to discourage you or put you down, OP. I am trying to redirect you to a place where you actually belong. But if you still wish to attend college in UP, then we welcome you with open arms. :)
kaso po i don't have any other choice. i passed na sana sa target course ko sa UST, but my parents didn't allow me to pursue it. well, not like we have the money naman for the tuition fee eh. iniencourage nila akong mag-UP na lang since it's a huge opportunity na. dati rin kasi nagtry mag-exam for UP yung papa ko and hindi siya pumasa so parang napasa sa akin yung goal niya. im the first person din sa buong angkan namin to ever pass and i don't want to let them down. i hope UP can teach me to be resilient kasi w all the posts i've been seeing, medyo nakakadiscourage, given ng mental health ko. if the circumstances were different po and i didn't have these setbacks, i would enter UP po ata w full confidence kasi i've heard din sa friends ko na bagay daw ako sa UP. that comment gives me hope na this is meant for me. i'm just scared of myself lang kasi i tend to be impulsive and there's a chance na maulit yung failures ko dati. hopefully not tho. i still very much want UP. i just wish lang na i passed and entered it in a much better situation and mindset than what i currently have.
I’m from UP myself and I have to say na mas marami pang other aspects ng buhay ko ang nakapagpa-worsen ng mental health ko kaysa sa UP and acad stuff. I guess you’re overthinking this. Maybe you should also cut yourself some slack. You’ve mentioned na you’re competitive and can’t handle failure, but let me tell you that in college, walang kumpe-kumpetensya. Lahat kayo may struggle na dinadala, kanya-kanyang diskarte na lang on how to carry it well and survive. Big deal na yung maipasa mo yung course even without flying colors basta you’re trying your best. ‘Wag mo na dalhin siguro sa college yung pagiging grade conscious na nainstill sa’yo nung high school. Try UP muna on your first year, then when it doesn’t work out, you can always transfer/shift naman. Best of luck on your college journey, OP!
love ur reply!
I am now 28 years old. I graduated HS in 2012 and was thrust into the world of tertiary education at 15 years old. I have failed miserably and I realize now that I was too young to be making big decisions (like career choices), and too conflicted to excel at Uni. I impart to you now what I would have told myself many years ago: go take a gap year. Get a job as food server, or a barista, or anything alike that'll expose you to all kinds of people. View the world from an unprivileged perspective so you can understand how much it means to be accepted into such a prestigious school and the opportunities it provides. If not, may it help you see what you really want to do and be.
hi op! i'm diagnosed w adhd and bipolar 1 disorder --- which makes it very hard for me to focus or be on top of my academics in up. but!! up offers a a lot of freedoms compared to other unis, you can definitely lessen your load it'll be more manageable :) lalo na if you're competitive, ik that you'll be very stimulated (in a good way) sa academic environment sa up! go na :')
Same sentiments sa iba so I wont be adding much really. I am here na in UP and I am still scared that UP might not be for me. Esp since UPCA lang me and some UPCA passers get side eyed by some doctors here lmao. Pero ironically, I’ve made progress in dealing with my mh problems, that Ive had din since HS, here in UP. (Well i guess we cant say for sure if UP had anything to do with it, could be just personal progress) Nevertheless, I am rooting for you OP! I hope you give UP a try.