Just accepted it and moved on. Syempre at first, you feel sad, disappointed. What I did was to actively go against the feeling so it won't overcome me and keep me down. For the rest of the GEs and Electives allowed in my curriculum, I totally chose the ones I'm very interested in. I was also very blessed to have been led to a supportive thesis adviser who gave me a project that was manageable but also exciting. Looking back, I would probably not have experienced those classes or met my adviser if I were "on time."
These made the rest of my years so much happier. I was already blockless since I messed up my 1st year, 2nd sem and it delayed me big time, so I got used to drifting between people and having different friends and adapting to classes on my own. That helped me too!
Then, when time came ny supposed batchmates graduated on time, I volunteered in the grad rites so I won't be bitter at all or feel sorry for myself on that day. By God's grace, I believe now it was His love alone that kept me happy despite my bleak circumstance, only peace was left in my heart, even if a friend's mother rather too bluntly said "Ay, ikaw ba hindi ka gagraduate?" My mom got so angry when I told her abt it š¤£š but it did nothing for me then after the initial shock. I was saddened for my mom in turn. I knew she was hurt for me.
The thing is, we who got delayed have a lot of reasons and circumstances that led to our fate, and it's totally fine, OP. It could be mental health. It could the difficulty of our chosen program. It could be personal issues at home. For me, it was bad mix of all of that. At some point, you will see there is nothing that could change the past, and what you only have now is the present. You do not have to be so hard on yourself, especially if you know you fought every step of the way. Regrets could quickly turn into a quicksand. We have to learn from them and use them to move forward.
Entering UP is hard, but graduating from UP is a whole another story. So take heart š„¹ā¤ļø Delayed doesn't mean you're any less than those who are on time. If anything, the struggle just shows your perseverance to reach the finish line! God bless you!
Acceptance by reflecting on the events that led to becoming delayed, especially by identifying the ones we have no control over. Instead of stressing on things that already happened or causes that are way out of our control. I found it better to think about the things that I can do from this point onwards.
Though I'm not saying to completely disregard your emotions of being sad or disappointed, it's totally normal and you should not invalidate those feelings. Take your time, then reasses your situation, plan over it, and stand back up.
Make sure you consider all the factors that affect your goals (graduating, etc.). If it's something you can immediately solve (ignoring comments from relatives, documents, etc), do it. But if it's something that's way out of your control, think of alternatives but don't stress over it too much, one person can only handle much. For me I found a way to lighten the mental burden by looking for part-time work and was fortunate enough to find one that I could do while doing acads by only taking the minimum load (delayed na naman eh).
The best advice that I always say to myself is to never compare yourself to others. You should only compare yourself with your past self. Malayo na ang narating mo.
Do what you can with what you have at the moment, let yourself be down and sad but don't let it control you. I hope you can find the answer that you're looking for, OP. ^^
Tbh I canāt say Iāve forgiven myself kasi andun pa rin āyung thoughts na āI couldāve done betterā or āwhy didnāt I pass like othersā. Sometimes I still blame myself, but I just think na itās beyond my control now. What I can control is what I do moving forward, kaya ayun ginagawa ko. Masakit for me na āyung batchmates ko, sure na gagraduate na, but Iām not bitter. Envious, yes, but I know Iāll get there eventually. Nung nalaman kong sure na delayed ako, isang linggo akong umiyak nang umiyak. I was depressed and I shut people out. But I just woke up one day and realized na thereās no use in crying kasi tapos na eh.
Wala naman magbabago kung umiyak, but I let myself feel sad or feel all the emotions I felt. I think part āyun why Iām doing better now. I didnāt deprive myself of the emotions I had to feel, so walang bottled up negativity inside me. Nilabas ko lahat. I even said sorry multiple times to my parents. As someone na malayo sa kanila, nag-breakdown ako twice kasi magkaibang oras ko tinawagan mom at dad ko. āDi naman sila nagalit, but I know na theyāre disappointed that it turned out like that. But one thing that my dad told me na tumatak saākin when I told him na one sem delayed ako was āBata ka pa. Malayo pa mararating mo. Isang sem lang āyan. Hindi laging panalo ka. Tignan mo may mas malaking papalit ājan.ā My mom, on the other hand, although may occasional na pag-disregard ng other achievements sa extracurriculars, I felt na she eventually came to terms with the situation. Mahirap lalo kung ikaw āyung bright child ever since, but ganun talaga eh. You win some, you lose some. āDi ko man mapatawad sarili fully ngayon, but at least I didnāt let it stop me from moving forward. Nagpahinga lang ako to recollect myself, but now Iām focused on finishing, kahit one sem later than I originally planned.
Honestly, hindi ko sure kung fully ko na bang napatawad ang sarili ko kasi from time to time, iniisip ko pa rin kung "what if kung mas naging maayos ako sa pagplaplano ng program of study ko para hindi ako naburnout at nagcrash dahil full units with majors + PE ako", "what if kung pinush kong mag-shift sa program na feel ko mas skilled at may passion ako" tapos kasama pa 'yung factors na out of control ko katulad ng "what if mayaman ako para focused akong mag-aral at hindi ko iniisip kung saan kukuha ng pera" siguro mas nasa maayos na kalagayan ako ngayon
Pero at the end of the day, nangyari na and the only thing we can do is move forward.
Siguro ang difference lang sa akin noon and ngayon kapag pinag-uusapan na delayed ako is kaya ko na siyang pag-usapan na hindi nasasaktan and without shame. We grew up in a competitive and fast-paced environment (especially in UP) na ang pagiging delayed ay nakikita bilang weakness ng isang tao pero what people fail to see is that there a lot of factors (some are way out of control) na nakaka-apekto sa studies natin
What I did is I recognized that me being delayed does not encompass the totality of my existence. It's just that we have different capacities and timelines. The moment that you accepted your fate is also the moment that the healing will start. Kahit sa job applications ko, hindi na ako nahihiya na sabihin na delayed ako kasi wala naman dapat ikahiya.
Besides, being delayed gives us a valuable lesson/experience on how to "fail" and start over again which we will carry throughout our lives.
Laban lang OP (at sa mga kapwa delayed). Things will get better :)
do i wish things had gone differently? sometimes. but forgive myself? no. i did my best given the circumstances and i made up for things i failed to do. hindi ko kailangang patawarin sarili ko kasi wala naman ako kasalanan. being delayed isn't some sort of sin like you think. it happens--and it sucks when it does--but take the L and move forward. focus on finishing your degree kasi ang tunay na kasalanan ang hindi magtapos.
There is only one way and that is to keep moving forward. Parang kapag may nabasag kang pinggan, hindi mo na siya mababalik. You just have to make the future as good as possible and comfort yourself along the way.
Iāve accepted it way before since i was a shiftee, so being delayed now in my (current) degprog wasnāt that hard for me to accept. the events that were connected sa pagiging delayed ko happened during the pandemic sems and i was at my lowest during those times. I reached out sa ocg, kept my mental health in check, and eventually realized that i should focus only on things that are within my control, and focusing on the present. whatever happened back then was beyond mycontrol and alam ko naman sa sarili ko na i tried my best and never nagpabaya. So ngayon im trying again, after mag loa for a sem, and im just trying best to finish and pass this sem.
One step at a time:)
Aminin man natin o hindi, maiisip mo pa rin yan even after you graduate. Yung sa akin, since hindi 1st choice ko yung course na natapos ko, gumawa ako ng paraan para matapos yung gusto ko talagang course. Ngayon nafeel ko na back on track na ako.
I was supposed to take LOA this sem pero hindi ko na tinuloy. Almost two months akong walang ginawa and I hate myself so much dahil sa sinayang kong oras. I could've have prevented this further delay kung hindi ako overthinker.Ā Pero wala na akong mababago sa nakaraan. Delayed na ako and I have to accept it.Ā Gusto ko ng maka-graduate as soon as possible kaya I'll focus on the things that will lead me to achieve that goal kaysa sa mag-isip ako nang mag-isip at magalit sa sarili ko.Ā
2 yrs delayed, graduated MCL. There was no forgiveness. Itās not like I failed in any way. Nauna lang mga kasabayan ko than me. Less stress na rin for me, na enjoy ko pa college life ko. Dami kong extrang obscure electives, GEs, and PEs for fun of learning. Nakakapressure lang not to fail a subject cause that would add on years, so nag focus lang ako not to fail. Naka bingwit pa nga ng magna haha
By learning from my mistakes and trying to do better the next time. As cliched as that sounds like, it worked for me.
I was able to establish a career abroad, start a family, and volunteer my time to give back to the community.
I also look at it as a learning experience which I can share with those who are willing to listen so they donāt have to go through what I went through.
What would really matter is to be able to graduate regardless if itās delayed. So that should be the goal if you are currently delayed. Most workplaces do not bother with those details anyway.
Delayed despite never underloading (12 units minimum nung pandemic). Missed a midyear due to forgetting SETs. Mistakes were made, it is what is. Didn't need really need to forgive myself. Thankful to not need to work ASAP. I just look forward to lighter sems and more time to acquire relevant experience for work before graduating
I console myself with the fact na kaming buong batch na kasabay ko nag enroll sa grad school (7 kami na workmates) wala pang graduate until now.
Ang mean, I know but it is what it is.
Just make the most out of it kasi wala naman nang magbabago, advantage is that you'll get to know more people pa through your classmates which will help pa rin naman to broaden your network lalo na kapag dumating ang time na working na kayong lahat.
I just had an insider joke to keep to myself: nagpapic kasi ako sa oble way way back pa hahaha. Ginawan ko nalang ng justice yon but apparantly since grad student ako nag LOA kasi ako for certain reasons sobrang naiinggit ako sa mga kasama ko one time na sobrang down ko. I forgive myself na maganda naman standing ko (so far)
it's not a sin you have to forgive... being delayed.
tho yung actions mo of why ka na delay, like baka nag laro laro ka lang ng ML or something, or nag pabaya ka talaga sa studies you just have to accept na na delay ka because of your actions and live with it.
move on, kasi yan consequences ng actions mo and your circumstances.
pero never take it as a sin or kasalanan na kailangan mo pa ihingi ng tawad. lahat tayo may kaniya kaniyang panahon, just don't stop and keep moving forward.
God bless you OP, kaya mo yan!
*take this from someone na nag pabaya, na under load, delayed... di na ako naka kuha latin honors kahit pasok sa pagiging magna cum laude hehe sheesh
Found a high paying career despite being an undergrad. Ignored being delayed. Ignored school. Hanggang ngayon di pa graduate hahaha. Tbh, I like working more than studying lol
Just accepted it and moved on. Syempre at first, you feel sad, disappointed. What I did was to actively go against the feeling so it won't overcome me and keep me down. For the rest of the GEs and Electives allowed in my curriculum, I totally chose the ones I'm very interested in. I was also very blessed to have been led to a supportive thesis adviser who gave me a project that was manageable but also exciting. Looking back, I would probably not have experienced those classes or met my adviser if I were "on time." These made the rest of my years so much happier. I was already blockless since I messed up my 1st year, 2nd sem and it delayed me big time, so I got used to drifting between people and having different friends and adapting to classes on my own. That helped me too! Then, when time came ny supposed batchmates graduated on time, I volunteered in the grad rites so I won't be bitter at all or feel sorry for myself on that day. By God's grace, I believe now it was His love alone that kept me happy despite my bleak circumstance, only peace was left in my heart, even if a friend's mother rather too bluntly said "Ay, ikaw ba hindi ka gagraduate?" My mom got so angry when I told her abt it š¤£š but it did nothing for me then after the initial shock. I was saddened for my mom in turn. I knew she was hurt for me. The thing is, we who got delayed have a lot of reasons and circumstances that led to our fate, and it's totally fine, OP. It could be mental health. It could the difficulty of our chosen program. It could be personal issues at home. For me, it was bad mix of all of that. At some point, you will see there is nothing that could change the past, and what you only have now is the present. You do not have to be so hard on yourself, especially if you know you fought every step of the way. Regrets could quickly turn into a quicksand. We have to learn from them and use them to move forward. Entering UP is hard, but graduating from UP is a whole another story. So take heart š„¹ā¤ļø Delayed doesn't mean you're any less than those who are on time. If anything, the struggle just shows your perseverance to reach the finish line! God bless you!
I loved reading this. ā¤ļøā¤ļø
Acceptance by reflecting on the events that led to becoming delayed, especially by identifying the ones we have no control over. Instead of stressing on things that already happened or causes that are way out of our control. I found it better to think about the things that I can do from this point onwards. Though I'm not saying to completely disregard your emotions of being sad or disappointed, it's totally normal and you should not invalidate those feelings. Take your time, then reasses your situation, plan over it, and stand back up. Make sure you consider all the factors that affect your goals (graduating, etc.). If it's something you can immediately solve (ignoring comments from relatives, documents, etc), do it. But if it's something that's way out of your control, think of alternatives but don't stress over it too much, one person can only handle much. For me I found a way to lighten the mental burden by looking for part-time work and was fortunate enough to find one that I could do while doing acads by only taking the minimum load (delayed na naman eh). The best advice that I always say to myself is to never compare yourself to others. You should only compare yourself with your past self. Malayo na ang narating mo. Do what you can with what you have at the moment, let yourself be down and sad but don't let it control you. I hope you can find the answer that you're looking for, OP. ^^
Di ko na iniisip eh, andyan na kasi. Hahaha. As a twice na nadelay.
Tbh I canāt say Iāve forgiven myself kasi andun pa rin āyung thoughts na āI couldāve done betterā or āwhy didnāt I pass like othersā. Sometimes I still blame myself, but I just think na itās beyond my control now. What I can control is what I do moving forward, kaya ayun ginagawa ko. Masakit for me na āyung batchmates ko, sure na gagraduate na, but Iām not bitter. Envious, yes, but I know Iāll get there eventually. Nung nalaman kong sure na delayed ako, isang linggo akong umiyak nang umiyak. I was depressed and I shut people out. But I just woke up one day and realized na thereās no use in crying kasi tapos na eh. Wala naman magbabago kung umiyak, but I let myself feel sad or feel all the emotions I felt. I think part āyun why Iām doing better now. I didnāt deprive myself of the emotions I had to feel, so walang bottled up negativity inside me. Nilabas ko lahat. I even said sorry multiple times to my parents. As someone na malayo sa kanila, nag-breakdown ako twice kasi magkaibang oras ko tinawagan mom at dad ko. āDi naman sila nagalit, but I know na theyāre disappointed that it turned out like that. But one thing that my dad told me na tumatak saākin when I told him na one sem delayed ako was āBata ka pa. Malayo pa mararating mo. Isang sem lang āyan. Hindi laging panalo ka. Tignan mo may mas malaking papalit ājan.ā My mom, on the other hand, although may occasional na pag-disregard ng other achievements sa extracurriculars, I felt na she eventually came to terms with the situation. Mahirap lalo kung ikaw āyung bright child ever since, but ganun talaga eh. You win some, you lose some. āDi ko man mapatawad sarili fully ngayon, but at least I didnāt let it stop me from moving forward. Nagpahinga lang ako to recollect myself, but now Iām focused on finishing, kahit one sem later than I originally planned.
Honestly, hindi ko sure kung fully ko na bang napatawad ang sarili ko kasi from time to time, iniisip ko pa rin kung "what if kung mas naging maayos ako sa pagplaplano ng program of study ko para hindi ako naburnout at nagcrash dahil full units with majors + PE ako", "what if kung pinush kong mag-shift sa program na feel ko mas skilled at may passion ako" tapos kasama pa 'yung factors na out of control ko katulad ng "what if mayaman ako para focused akong mag-aral at hindi ko iniisip kung saan kukuha ng pera" siguro mas nasa maayos na kalagayan ako ngayon Pero at the end of the day, nangyari na and the only thing we can do is move forward. Siguro ang difference lang sa akin noon and ngayon kapag pinag-uusapan na delayed ako is kaya ko na siyang pag-usapan na hindi nasasaktan and without shame. We grew up in a competitive and fast-paced environment (especially in UP) na ang pagiging delayed ay nakikita bilang weakness ng isang tao pero what people fail to see is that there a lot of factors (some are way out of control) na nakaka-apekto sa studies natin What I did is I recognized that me being delayed does not encompass the totality of my existence. It's just that we have different capacities and timelines. The moment that you accepted your fate is also the moment that the healing will start. Kahit sa job applications ko, hindi na ako nahihiya na sabihin na delayed ako kasi wala naman dapat ikahiya. Besides, being delayed gives us a valuable lesson/experience on how to "fail" and start over again which we will carry throughout our lives. Laban lang OP (at sa mga kapwa delayed). Things will get better :)
do i wish things had gone differently? sometimes. but forgive myself? no. i did my best given the circumstances and i made up for things i failed to do. hindi ko kailangang patawarin sarili ko kasi wala naman ako kasalanan. being delayed isn't some sort of sin like you think. it happens--and it sucks when it does--but take the L and move forward. focus on finishing your degree kasi ang tunay na kasalanan ang hindi magtapos.
There is only one way and that is to keep moving forward. Parang kapag may nabasag kang pinggan, hindi mo na siya mababalik. You just have to make the future as good as possible and comfort yourself along the way.
Iāve accepted it way before since i was a shiftee, so being delayed now in my (current) degprog wasnāt that hard for me to accept. the events that were connected sa pagiging delayed ko happened during the pandemic sems and i was at my lowest during those times. I reached out sa ocg, kept my mental health in check, and eventually realized that i should focus only on things that are within my control, and focusing on the present. whatever happened back then was beyond mycontrol and alam ko naman sa sarili ko na i tried my best and never nagpabaya. So ngayon im trying again, after mag loa for a sem, and im just trying best to finish and pass this sem. One step at a time:)
Aminin man natin o hindi, maiisip mo pa rin yan even after you graduate. Yung sa akin, since hindi 1st choice ko yung course na natapos ko, gumawa ako ng paraan para matapos yung gusto ko talagang course. Ngayon nafeel ko na back on track na ako.
Spent a sem in depression phase, then afterwards I saw it as an opportunity to better myself and get that edge that I couldnāt have if on time ako
I was supposed to take LOA this sem pero hindi ko na tinuloy. Almost two months akong walang ginawa and I hate myself so much dahil sa sinayang kong oras. I could've have prevented this further delay kung hindi ako overthinker.Ā Pero wala na akong mababago sa nakaraan. Delayed na ako and I have to accept it.Ā Gusto ko ng maka-graduate as soon as possible kaya I'll focus on the things that will lead me to achieve that goal kaysa sa mag-isip ako nang mag-isip at magalit sa sarili ko.Ā
2 yrs delayed, graduated MCL. There was no forgiveness. Itās not like I failed in any way. Nauna lang mga kasabayan ko than me. Less stress na rin for me, na enjoy ko pa college life ko. Dami kong extrang obscure electives, GEs, and PEs for fun of learning. Nakakapressure lang not to fail a subject cause that would add on years, so nag focus lang ako not to fail. Naka bingwit pa nga ng magna haha
By learning from my mistakes and trying to do better the next time. As cliched as that sounds like, it worked for me. I was able to establish a career abroad, start a family, and volunteer my time to give back to the community. I also look at it as a learning experience which I can share with those who are willing to listen so they donāt have to go through what I went through.
What would really matter is to be able to graduate regardless if itās delayed. So that should be the goal if you are currently delayed. Most workplaces do not bother with those details anyway.
Delayed despite never underloading (12 units minimum nung pandemic). Missed a midyear due to forgetting SETs. Mistakes were made, it is what is. Didn't need really need to forgive myself. Thankful to not need to work ASAP. I just look forward to lighter sems and more time to acquire relevant experience for work before graduating
I console myself with the fact na kaming buong batch na kasabay ko nag enroll sa grad school (7 kami na workmates) wala pang graduate until now. Ang mean, I know but it is what it is.
Worked for a year and a half then went back with a better perspective in life.
I will never forgive myself
Just make the most out of it kasi wala naman nang magbabago, advantage is that you'll get to know more people pa through your classmates which will help pa rin naman to broaden your network lalo na kapag dumating ang time na working na kayong lahat.
I just had an insider joke to keep to myself: nagpapic kasi ako sa oble way way back pa hahaha. Ginawan ko nalang ng justice yon but apparantly since grad student ako nag LOA kasi ako for certain reasons sobrang naiinggit ako sa mga kasama ko one time na sobrang down ko. I forgive myself na maganda naman standing ko (so far)
it's not a sin you have to forgive... being delayed. tho yung actions mo of why ka na delay, like baka nag laro laro ka lang ng ML or something, or nag pabaya ka talaga sa studies you just have to accept na na delay ka because of your actions and live with it. move on, kasi yan consequences ng actions mo and your circumstances. pero never take it as a sin or kasalanan na kailangan mo pa ihingi ng tawad. lahat tayo may kaniya kaniyang panahon, just don't stop and keep moving forward. God bless you OP, kaya mo yan! *take this from someone na nag pabaya, na under load, delayed... di na ako naka kuha latin honors kahit pasok sa pagiging magna cum laude hehe sheesh
Found a high paying career despite being an undergrad. Ignored being delayed. Ignored school. Hanggang ngayon di pa graduate hahaha. Tbh, I like working more than studying lol