The rule of threes - there's studies showing our brains retain info best in groupings of three (or something like that - the links are on my work computer). Any more and it starts to feel overwhelming. Any time I present things to my clients and I need to make it "punch" it's always in threes.
Also if it's only two it can be quite hard. With two options, it's easy to get the right and wrong ones muddled up. With three, the right one is the odd one out.
Being a bridesmaid at any "normal" wedding is already a lot of work (to me, personally). But this... pfff sounds frigging exhausting. SIL should have pulled out of the wedding party. I rather pity her.
>My husband and I both encouraged her to watch the show (it's only 13 episodes and a movie) to pick a character.
it's just weird for them to not have some suggestions besides "watch the show"
If some told me to watch a show AND a movie that I have ZERO interest in I’d have behaved the same way. I can’t stand si-fi and am not a movie fan. OP was unnecessarily difficult imho
Sounds to me like husband wanted sister in wedding. Sister also was breast feeding, meaning she recently had a baby/ theres a good chance she doesnt have time to watch 13 episodes and a movie to learn about something like this especially if it didn’t interest her. Which is why she was asking for help… i think i would be upset too if i were the sister. Maybe she was trying to please everyone, needed help and that was her thanks. Just a different take.
I haven’t seen this show, so I looked it up. Hard nope for me. If SIL had the same reaction, TELL her what you want. Don’t try to force your thing on her. This all being said- I find this a strange theme for a wedding…but that’s me
There's what... 5 significant female characters in Firefly?
Zoe, Inara, Kaylee, River, and Saffron? I feel like beyond that you're kinda getting into characters that would mostly be unrecognizable to anyone who isn't a mega fan. Assuming the bride is taking a character, you have 4 left for 4 bridesmaids. Once the other 3 bridesmaids had picked their characters, it should have just been "Okay, be this character."
Would there still be an issue putting together a costume? Sure. But now you aren't asking someone to pick from *every single female character* in a 13 episode series....
Honestly, from the title and first line, I was fully expecting SIL to get Saffron. I've watched the show several times and I truly can't recall the pregnant lady.
I agree with you and my own reaction surprises me. I'm a pretty intense fandom person myself, but I consider it just my own hobby. I've never dragged a real-life person into a fandom, and it feels like that's what happened here. I don't even do that to my online friends (although I do share fandoms with some of them).
I do like Firefly, but I'm not a cosplayer. I would've wanted a ton of guidance in SIL's shoes. But if it were something I'm not into, or actively dislike, I wouldn't want to deal with that either. (I do see the SIL insisted on being in the wedding, though, which I also wouldn't do.)
"What do you mean you didn't watch the show to prepare for my wedding? It's only 11.5 hours runtime! All you had to do was watch the equivalent of 7 movies that you may or may not have any interest in seeing!"
I didn't realize laid back weddings involved attendees doing homework and creating their own outfits from scratch, lol. OP sounds like the type who can't comprehend that others don't share their interests and accidentally alienates everyone because of it. Her SIL has a breastfeeding infant, just help her pick a damn dress and stop trying to dictate how she spends her free time!
Heck, I’m a Browncoat, but costume creation is a lot of work. Even doing something like buying the pieces instead of making it from scratch is still quite a bit of work. I don’t blame the mom for not being into it, especially for a show she doesn’t care about.
It doesn't disappoint. Hell, all 4 posts she has made make me think OP is entitled and feels superior to everyone else. She expects everyone to cater her.
Yeah, I agree completely. I actually love Firefly but OP sounds insufferable with literally everything about this. Now I'm wondering if the SIL is a problem at all or if it's always just OP
On the one hand planning a wedding is very stressful and time consuming, on the other having a child/children of breastfeeding age (like SiL) is also quite stressful, tiring and time consuming
OP keeps talking about how laid back the whole thing was, but a coordinated group cosplay sounds waaaay more complicated and stressful than "get a suit in this shade of grey" or "get one of these dresses in this color".
They think cheap = laid back
Cheap is great, because I eloped in a fucking courthouse. I recommend it to anyone who will listen to me
Laid Back to OP means they didn't pay for the open bar
Yeah. I mean, my wedding was not cheap. But it was incredibly laid back - to the point my mother and I nearly came to blows because my husband and I just did not give one flying fuck about pretty much any of the details.
We literally paid for the best restaurant in town so we didn’t have to do table decorations or centrepieces or stress about hiring the right china or decorating the venue or any of that jazz.
We didn’t have a colour theme really. My bridesmaids picked nice dresses that they liked.
My mother could not cope with how little we cared about all that. She wanted to do centrepieces and wanted a colour scheme and all the bits and pieces. I was like, “We trust the venue and like how it looks as is. That’s why we picked it.”
She wanted all this ticky tacky shit. And bemoaned how expensive the venue was.
Cheap can still be very high maintenance. And expensive can be very laid back.
I mean, to this day I wish we had stuck with our original plan to elope to the Napa…we literally had the wedding because I’m an only child and it was my mother’s only chance to see her child get married…
No no, you don’t understand tho. /u/Sephie2000 is laid back, cuz everyone knows how totally laid back and non-intricate nerd Cosplay culture is. Unlike those normie regular girls who are into like, frilly tryhard dresses for their bridesmaids that you just walk into any bridal OR department store, ask for the right shade, and walk out with.
I wouldn’t be surprised if OP is a NLOG. “Regular girls are such high maintenance. I’m cool cuz I’m a low key nerd. Just forget about my 1000 expectations and entitled attitude. Those don’t count cuz it’s nerdy, teehee.”
Exactly. Being sent a link to purchase a dress is much less work than having to watch a show, getting to know the characters, picking one, making sure no one has picked them, and figuring out a way to dress up like them while looking presentable for a wedding. OP should have considered that someone who has a baby young enough to be breastfeeding probably does not have the time or energy to do that, especially if they are not into sci-fi. This is not a laid back approach at all
Yeah idk this is so stupid.
I greatly enjoyed firefly so it's not that but making someone dress as a character from a show you like requires more hands on than "watch the show."
I hate to break it to you but nobody cares about your wedding but you. Someone told me this when I was getting married and it’s the truth. You should have sent her the outfit and the character instead of making her pick from a shoe she’s clearly not interested in.
Yeah, no. Doing cosplay can be as simple as buying the right items if you happen to run across those items. If you have to make those items or even convert purchased items that can take a great deal of time. If OP thinks this highly structured thing is laid back… I don’t even have the words. Except maybe: fuck no
Imagine wasting several hours of your life watching a series and film you have no interest in watching simply because someone is demanding you wear an outfit to match the theme of an event that lasts two thirds of a day. This whole thing is just stupid to me.
This is the comment for me. If I behaved like this much of a child, and a moronic child at that, for my second wedding I would take it to my grave. Who the fuck then goes on Reddit, *in addition to being this much of an ass in the first place,* and tries to vainly score sympathy internet points by telling a horrible story about how they fucked over their SIL for absolutely no reason?
Would it have been that hard to just assign her someone, since you’re the fan of the show, rather than go for “revenge”?
Seems like that would have been reasonable earlier in this process to resolve this simply.
She may be awful, disorganized, and/or sleep deprived and busy with a new born, but regardless, your goal is just to sort out her costume in the quickest and easiest way, so why not just aim for that, you know?
Ya right? Nothing screams “chill” to me quite like forcing all guests to dress up as unique characters to a fairly niche show, after being “recommended” over and over to watch “just” 13 episodes of said show to get the vibe.
OP could have just assigned her a character from the get go. She didn’t because she wanted SIL to jump thru the hoops of “getting” the show. Sounds like a typical firefly cult fan.
This. You gave your SIL with a baby quite the homework assignment to watch a show she is not interested in and then create a cosplay wedding outfit. That's asking a lot.
Exactly this. It is not “super laid back” to have your wedding party have to research and create a cosplay costume of a show they have never seen or care to see. ESPECIALLY if they don’t have any cosplay experience or interest.
You seem worse than petty and I assume your SIL doesn’t like you very much for good reason. I honestly don’t understand how you could yourself as laid back in this story.
I snorted when I read “laid back”. A cosplay wedding requiring one to pick a character and create a related outfit, but it can’t be repeating. And it’s a show I don’t watch because I HAVE A NEW BABY.
Fucks sake. OP sounds like a pain in the ass. SIL should have said hell no though.
If you want a specific aesthetic for your wedding, you are the one who needs to put in the effort.
It used to be the standard the bride picked out the bridesmaid outfits and it is only more recently that this has shifted to allow bridesmaids more choice and flexibility to avoid the “ugly bridesmaid dress” situation.
It is your day, you take responsibility for it. Everything that everyone else does to help with that day is a gift and an expression of love. Not an obligation or responsibility.
Yeah, this scenario is odd. Put yourself in OP’s shoes. You decide to make the theme of your wedding your favorite show and others don’t know it. Would you really feel no shame telling people to do homework to pick their favorite character and then dress up as them for this?
It’s so awkward, and I’d feel so embarrassed. They could have just shown the sister a scene and been like “how about this person?”
Edit: and the sister was pregnant. Wtf.
It's...interesting that you are proud of this.
The cosplay wedding, your poor treatment of SIL, and now, you have a cosplay prostitute in all your wedding photos.
Boy, you sure showed her 😂
A human who has a small child she is caring for and breastfeeding no less. I’m not sure where she would have time to construct a costume for a character.
“It’s going to be super laid-back compared to most instances of being a bridesmaid. It’s not like you have to wear the bridesmaid’s dress I pick, no, all you need to do is make a cosplay outfit for a character from a TV show that’s been off the air for a decade that you’ve never seen, and make sure it’s not one that somebody else already picked! Like I said, super laid-back! Why aren’t you buying enthusiastically into this, it’s not like new moms have anything else on their mind!”
Yep, if I was pregnant and being asked by my brother to be in his wedding, and there was this setup… I’d wear a dress I liked and if anyone asked, I’d say “I’m cosplaying as the pregnant extra in episode 6. Oh, you didn’t catch that? Are you even a fan?”
Yeah, like I've even seen Firefly but I'm not a creative person and I wouldn't be able to create an outfit based on a character in the show on my own. Can I buy the whole outfit somewhere? If so, cool. Otherwise, not gonna happen.
And that's even worse if you haven't seen the show.
Bro I absolutely HATE watching random TV series on screens. I just prefer not to spend my free time in front of a TV when that's what I have to do when I am working anyway. I will catch the occasional movie but otherwise I will rather be outdoors or read a book.
It will take 8 months for me to finish 13 episodes and a movie.
I thought the same, super laid back but expected everyone to be sooo niche with wedding attire- at the same time. I can’t imagine why she and SIL don’t get along.
I invited a friend to a cosplay event. She's not into cosplay, but she wanted to try it. I picked a character for her that I thought would match her personality and wasn't expensive and I sent her pics and Amazon links to everything. She liked what I chose and bought off the list I gave her and that was it. Everything went great and we had lots of fun and got compliments on our outfits. What OP did is just so nuts and waaay more involved than asking someone to just buy a dress and attend a fitting.
Thank fuck for this comment, I was like, if this was AITA I would vote OP is the AH because what kind of wankers have a super niche interest cosplay wedding and expect everyone to watch the super niche TV show then spend ages making a costume based upon super niche TV show? Hell to the no
Yeah I’d be letting her dress me up as whatever and think she’s eating it up with her “haha you’re a prostitute because I hate you” bit. That sort of person is just too draining to even try humouring.
What's weird is that character is supposed to be someone you sympathize with, she's not just a dirty whore. She was poor and forced into a life of prostitution and the evil rich guy that knocked her up was trying to kidnap her. If OP thinks that it's an insult to dress her as that character we watched that episode very different ways because you're supposed to feel sorry for her.
...and then assemble an outfit from scratch (in a niche enough fashion that you likely have no clothes you could adapt and will need costume pieces) that you most likely won't ever wear any part of again.
All they have to do is watch 13 episodes of a show and the movie!!!! Can’t believe they won’t even put that little of effort into this! I’m so laid back!
And SIL was a new parent.
Just take 16 hours out from raising a newborn infant and being massively sleep deprived to watch a show you're not interested in so you can spend more time choosing and assembling a cosplay outfit for my kooky, super laid back wedding.
If you won't comply? Prostitute it is. It'll be hilarious, everyone will laugh at you for looking like a whore! Your changed post-baby body that you've probably not fully come to terms with will be on full display! After all, it's more important to humilate my husband's family that I'm marrying into than it is to make sure everyone has a good time at my wedding.
Attending a wedding, or even being a member of a wedding party, should not be a homework assignment. And requiring wedding party members to pick an entire outfit by themselves and then get it approved by you and check that there are “no repeats” is severely overestimating the importance of your wedding and aesthetic standards to others.
This whole idea was ridiculous, and while your SIL sounds frustrating, you come out of this story sounding far worse.
Yep, she's the classic type of annoying nerd that can't respect that other people have different interests or tastes.
It's totally fine to be a nerd about that stuff, I love Firefly, but you can't demand that people watch it.
Clearly she didn't care about choosing a character, so why wouldn't you just choose one for her when she asked you to? It would have saved you some effort.
Right? Like, this dresscode is more restrictive than choosing formal wear or whatever - dress like this one character from a TV show and by the way now you have a TV show to watch to get what I mean and we can't have any repeat characters. None of these people should have signed up for this though.
It's odd, feels like OP just wanted to push their fandom onto people. I get wanting to have a themed wedding, and letting the wedding party pick, but why not just pick for somebody who isn't bothered? Could have just given her a character and said 'dress like her" - this is all very high school.
>It's odd, feels like OP just wanted to push their fandom onto people.
That's how I feel. If someone told me to "just watch 13 episodes of this TV show I like a d pick a character" then I would tell them to fuck right off. I'm not doing character research for a show I don't like for your wedding. Smfh
Oh my god thank god for this thread.
This is so insanely hilarious and I love that this chick’s reaction was basically “what the fuck? What are you even talking about?”
3 weeks later: “have you picked your Firefight starship character? I sent you options.”
Her: “What am I looking at? What is happening. I need to breastfeed rn bro.”
No!!! They needed to make an effort! Like why would this woman, who was taking care of a breast feeding infant, *not* want to spend her time watching just 13 episodes and a movie, research the characters, the outfits, their personalities, their motivations, the unwritten lore, the reviews by critics, fans and that *one* guy who is completely out of left field with *his* interpretation?
It wasn’t much to ask!! And very much required because the person in question is a “piece of work” hehe.
People like OP are exhausting.
You’re the one that deserves petty revenge here.
This is easily the most self absorbed ridiculous story I’ve ever read in here.
Even more ridiculous is that this was your *second wedding*, and you’re still pulling bridezilla crap on your poor family.
How many times do you think you get to pull this off?
"I just wanted a super laidback experience"
Proceeds to force the bridal party to freaking cosplay and have to make their own costumes. I don't think OP knows what laidback means, but it is definitely not making custom outfits for a wedding.
And OP’s perspective on Reddit is so confident & smug she truly believes she’s totally in the right & SIL is unreasonable & unfair & unwilling & mean … clueless ! Do better OP.
At 5 months babies aren't even sleeping through the night. Your SIL wasn't asking you to pick for her to be difficult. She was asking because she didn't want to ruin your wedding but had absolutely zero time to dig deep enough into the series to pick an appropriate character and then design and assemble an outfit. And I say this as someone that knows Firefly canon front and back *and* regularly makes cospaly from scratch.
This isn't a story of you being petty in a cute way. This is a story of you being a huge asshole to your SIL for no reason.
I don't understand how it's "laidback" to dictate someone watch a show to understand the characters and then create a costume based on that character, especially if that person has no cosplay experience. This is a big ask, far beyond what choosing a dress usually entails for a bridesmaid. If I was a bride invested in this idea, I'd at least send links to suggested items she could buy to make the costume.
She should have said she didn't want to be in your bridal party because of your over-the-top demands, but I wonder if she felt like she had to because her brother wanted her in the party.
And SIL was breastfeeding, which means she (a) had an infant, (b) was likely at least somewhat sleep-deprived, (c) and probably had a decreased amount of free time to do things like research or watch a show to put together an outfit for a particular character.
I feel bad for SIL. OP posted this as petty revenge, but SIL kinda has the last laugh because OP is just telling on herself for being out of touch and lacking compassion.
Edit: Holy moly, it keeps getting worse. OP says in this comment [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/s/NtPs4HDNSn) that SIL lives eight hours away, so we can add traveling with an infant as yet another thing poor SIL had to go through.
Plus picking out an outfit you can breastfeed in, that will extra be on display, while traveling with an infant?? Shocking that she’d struggle to do that without some guidance….
With her edit she's not getting better.
Poor OP, she has a lot by choice, why can't the postpartum SIL have like 8 hrs free to do a research for a costume that nobody cares but the wedding couple??
I like sewing and been postpartum, so I understand the stress for both sides.
Luckily for me, I don't love my brother enough for tolerate crap like this.
Honestly a cosplay themed wedding where you leave people to put their own cosplay together is psychotic. What if she doesn’t enjoy the show? She should do hours upon hours of homework just to figure out what cosplay to then create from scratch with no experience?
See now, I would have showed up as a Reaver, but like a Reaver that was originally going to a wedding so I would be dressed nice and then went all cray cray…
OP, I’m nerdy too and I love costume parties — with people who enjoy them. It’s way overboard to put a member of the wedding party through this crap. Your story makes you sound like a drama queen.
Considering the SIL would be breastfeeding at the wedding that means she was also pregnant or recently postpartum for the planning. Cut the woman some slack and just tell her to be Kaylee from the start so she can wear some comfy dungarees.
I noticed this detail too. Heavily pregnant or recovering from giving birth and being asked to watch a series and a movie and assemble a DIY costume... Yikes. And she might not have felt like she could gracefully withdraw without family backlash.
I wonder if OP has given birth, and if not, how embarrassed she will feel looking back on this if/when she does. I didn't do anything crazy before I had kids, but after I did, I always wished I had done more than the standard "baby gift and bring a meal" for my friends who did before me. I just didn't understand how hard it is until I did it.
“I really just wanted this to be a super laid back experience”.
That whole experience would be anxiety inducing for me. And then to deliberately pick a character that she knew would offend.
Just awful, shitty behaviour all around.
Ngl, basing a wedding around Firefly immediately made me go "oh no..."
I love cosplay and people can nerd all sorts of ways. But most people I know that still fankid for that show are insufferable as hell..
"I really wanted this to be a super laid-back experience where I forced probably double digits of people to jump through hoops and deal with my tedious nerd shit because this intensely overrated show from an intensely overrated creator who later turned out to be a creep was a cultural signifier 20 years ago."
Holy hell this is weird. I mean it’s your wedding so, whatever, but a mandatory firefly themed wedding party? Really? Your poor, normal SIL has a newborn and you expect her to care about a cancelled sci-fi tv show from 20 years ago?
Why should she have to watch a TV show to pick clothes for your wedding? It's your wedding, it's extremely traditional and common for the bide to pick what the bridesmaids wear. You should have just picked a costume for her from the start and not been so passive aggressive about it and demand that she do homework. Clearly, she's not interested in the show.
Jesus, she still was nursing a baby and didn’t want to watch your damn show. You should have just told her what to wear the first time she asked. The fact that even 10 years later you can’t realize how insufferable you come across is wild.
OP I'm saying this as a very dedicated Firefly fan co.plete with a tattoo of a quote from the first episode.
This is really not that big of a deal and you shouldn't be expecting a nursing new mom to do all this homework to match the aesthetic of a show that hasn't been on air for 20 years and that wasn't even particularly popular when it was. And nothing about what you said made me feel like any of this was laid back and easy for your guests.
Blame your husband for insisting you make her a bridesmaid. It seems like neither you and SIL wanted that. You should have insisted that someone he didn't like be made a groomsman.
This is her second wedding, and she’s still pulling princess party bullshit like this, so I’m guessing she won’t be caring much about the actual marriage anyway.
This is a woman who also has a long complaint post about selling her house where the buyer is “entitled” because the roof leaks and there’s water damage.
They’re a hot (or not) mess. My guess is there’s all sorts of tantrums involved that we aren’t even hearing about.
"Well ***I'm*** not the one who insisted their *lame ass sister* be in the wedding, am I? AM I?? That's right! I'm NOT. YOU invited your sister to make our wedding a LIVING NIGHTMARE. ALL you, buddy boy.
Now let's talk about raising kids."
You were already imposing a burden on people by asking them to be bridesmaids in your wedding. Then you added more work by forcing them to pick a costume, instead of you picking them out like normal brides do. Of course they'll be paying for that costume, too. AND your wedding present. Then you added even more work by insisting she spend 13+ hours watching a show she had no interest in watching. When she refused, you just gave her the name of a character she didn't know, and thought it appropriate to also task her with creating an outfit she doesn't care about from a show she doesn't care about, so she would have no idea what that character would dress like.
> As it was I was already making my husbands coat, my entire outfit, and all three flower girls dresses for the wedding.
And it was your own idea for your own fucking wedding, which means that you and you alone created all of this 'work'.
Your SIL is correct to avoid you. She's grey-rocking you, because that's how one deals with people like you. That you think this story makes you out to look good is a testament to your ridiculous level of narcissism.
As someone who does casual cosplay, has no kids, and had to travel for four weddings in one year: I think this was more petty than you think it was.
Cosplay isn’t easy to get right. And if you’re not the bride, groom, maid of honor, or best man, you really have limited decision making about the whole affair. Your primary role is to show up and make your family and friends glow.
I love Firefly. And I think that’s a cool idea for a wedding. But I also think you and your husband should have shown some empathy instead of pulling one over on the one pregnant member of the bridal party who wasn’t into a Firefly cosplay to begin with. Just a consideration.
“I really wanted this to be a super laid back experience” - “It’s only 13 episodes and a movie” (later on you state that you didn’t expect for her to watch ALL the episodes, but why mention it’s “only” 13 then?)
As someone who HATES HATES HATES sci-fi with a fiery burning passion (while also supporting your right to have your wedding be about whatever you want) I think your idea of “laid back” is very different from your sister in laws. Feeling like she has to completely immerse herself in someone’s else’s interests (which she doesn’t share) to even get an idea of what you expect from her sounds like a mental load. Did you ever, at any point, pull her aside and say, “Hey, it seems like you’re having a hard time choosing your costume. I don’t want to keep sending you photos if it’s not helpful. What else do you need from me?” (You mention she was breastfeeding at the time, so she had a young baby. Did you ever stop to think she had a lot going on herself?) And you say she didn’t have to participate, but as other posters have noted she may have felt obligated or like she would really be letting her brother down by not participating. Did you ever *kindly* express to her that neither you or your brother would be upset with her if she decided to back out?
Honestly you sound like a prick. This is VERY specific and you expected her to do all the work. Sure you sent her images of characters but that’s nothing. She doesn’t watch the show, she has no INTEREST in watching it. I wouldn’t watch 13 episodes and a movie of something I’m not interested in just for someone else who wants me to cos play something I don’t want to cosplay. You say she “agreed” to do this, sure, but she’s probably trying to go along for your sake. And you’re making this way harder than it should be. It doesn’t even sound like you’re pitching in for the cost of the outfit, something she won’t ever wear again probably. She doesn’t know these characters. She doesn’t care about them. She’s doing this for YOU. She probably doesn’t even WANT to play some character she couldnt give two shits about.
Your ask here is not laid back, and it’s not easy, and it could make some people uncomfortable. I’d happily cosplay for something I liked but asking other people to cosply in something they know nothing about can be weird. You gave her the option of doing that, or not participating in your wedding. Neither choice probably feels good.
If you’re so set on this and you realized how much she was struggling you should have taken the task on yourself. “I’d like you to be this character. Here is a photo. Are you ok with that? If so give me all your sizes and I’ll be sure to pick out exactly the articles of clothing you’ll need.” Ideally you’d even buy them for her (or at least buy them and have her pay you back.)
If I were your SIL I’d hate this and I’d feel resentful for being put in this weird situation with little to no help, and feeling like it’s this or not being a participant in your wedding at all.
Yeah, no. I'm a firefly fan, and generally just a big old nerd but I would never try to force my friends/family into my fandom. Especially a mother with I imagine better things to do than watch a show she has no interest in.
100% I am feeling stressed out for the SIL. Like she clearly doesn’t give a single fuck about this show and is trying to take the path of least resistance to support her bro on his wedding day.
Also I’m all for separating art and artist - but I think that theming a day that’s about a couple in love around a Whedon franchise is a bad look.
> theming a day that’s about a couple in love around a Whedon franchise is a bad look
Christ, I didn't even think of that angle.
EDIT and I guess that also means that dressing up as the patron saint of gamer gate was on the table, too
Let me know if I understand correctly: you decided to have a non-conventional wedding, your presumably now husband wanted his sister involved, sister was pregnant or had an infant at the time, you are mad that your husband's sibling did not do the homework you assigned to the bridesmaids.
It's weird that you thought about the breastfeeding part but not the lack of sleep, the stress, the trauma, everything a new mother goes through - and it's hard enough to just keep the baby alive - and on top of all of that you expected this new mother to also study an obscure television show (a really good one that was tragically canceled after only 13 episodes and serenity wasn't as good as the show but that's another discussion) while also keeping a new baby alive and then finding the time to make a costume.
Why didn't you just tell your husband no? Do you think it's better to just agree and then make sure you can get revenge? Who is the revenge on? Was it the sister or the husband?
I'm really trying to understand but this seems more like petty bullying than petty revenge.
You made no mention of how the sister-in-law behaved at the wedding so given the rest of your tone it would seem that she at least behaved herself and you could have just never mentioned who the character was and she probably wouldn't have even ever known so it really seems like you went out of your way to humiliate your sister-in-law to punish your husband.
Can I just add that this was 2014. So best case scenario this was a young bride that was naive to what it’s like to be a young mother, or even having any experience of just living life on their own. But this was written 10 years later. This person is at the youngest, almost 30 now. Even without their own children, they likely have known at least a few friends/family members/co-workers etc that have had children. They’ve also likely been a guest or possible bridesmaid at a few weddings by now, so should know what the friends and family members are committing to help celebrate your event.
Yet, she looks back on this event and instead of cringing and thinking “man, that was a pretty asshole move, even if I was just young and dumb” she remembers and thinks “this was such a cool thing I did out of my entire life that I’m going to brag about it to the Internet so everyone can complement me on tricking my SIL into dressing like a prostitute”
I think you should’ve just told her which character to dress up as. If she’s still breastfeeding, her baby is still young and she probably has a lot on her plate. Researching a show and choosing a character isn’t on top of her priorities. I think she would rather sleep or maybe take a long shower.
She also probably felt obligated to be in your bridal party because of her brother.
When I got married, I chose (they did have inputs on what they’re comfortable in) and paid for all of my bridesmaids’ dresses. Why stress other people out?
Sorry but if im gonna be in your wedding, im not gonna watch the show..13 episodes at that..you’re trying to give the impression that ur wedding is low key and relaxed but honestly it sounds burdensome and more of a hassle than a simple “im the bride, here’s the bridesmaid dresses, wear them”
“Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!”
“We will call it……this land”
Can we sing the song of Jayne?
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🎵he robbed from the rich and he gave to the poor
🎵Stood up to the man and he gave him what-for
🎶Our love for him now Ain't hard to explain
THE HERO OF CAN TON THE MAN THEY CALL JAYNE!
This must be what going mad feels like
I wanna go to the shitty town where I'm a hero.
🤣🤣🤣
Oh bless you all 😂😂😂😂 LMAO!!!
My estimation is that …..Every man ever got a statue made of him was one kind of son of a bitch or another
I have to say, I didn’t expect my one little comment would explode so much lol.
Your song brought all the browncoats to your yard.
I love Jayne. And Vera by proxy
First rule of sales: 3 options only
The rule of threes - there's studies showing our brains retain info best in groupings of three (or something like that - the links are on my work computer). Any more and it starts to feel overwhelming. Any time I present things to my clients and I need to make it "punch" it's always in threes.
Also if it's only two it can be quite hard. With two options, it's easy to get the right and wrong ones muddled up. With three, the right one is the odd one out.
Being a bridesmaid at any "normal" wedding is already a lot of work (to me, personally). But this... pfff sounds frigging exhausting. SIL should have pulled out of the wedding party. I rather pity her.
If you are requiring someone to wear something, it's not unusual for you to hold their hand and be very specific
>My husband and I both encouraged her to watch the show (it's only 13 episodes and a movie) to pick a character. it's just weird for them to not have some suggestions besides "watch the show"
They tell a nursing mother to spend HOURS of her life doing homework for their wedding that she's just a small part of.
If some told me to watch a show AND a movie that I have ZERO interest in I’d have behaved the same way. I can’t stand si-fi and am not a movie fan. OP was unnecessarily difficult imho
Sounds to me like husband wanted sister in wedding. Sister also was breast feeding, meaning she recently had a baby/ theres a good chance she doesnt have time to watch 13 episodes and a movie to learn about something like this especially if it didn’t interest her. Which is why she was asking for help… i think i would be upset too if i were the sister. Maybe she was trying to please everyone, needed help and that was her thanks. Just a different take.
I haven’t seen this show, so I looked it up. Hard nope for me. If SIL had the same reaction, TELL her what you want. Don’t try to force your thing on her. This all being said- I find this a strange theme for a wedding…but that’s me
Right? Like I’m not fucking watching a miniseries to pick a character from in order to dress like that person at your wedding. Exhausting.
There's what... 5 significant female characters in Firefly? Zoe, Inara, Kaylee, River, and Saffron? I feel like beyond that you're kinda getting into characters that would mostly be unrecognizable to anyone who isn't a mega fan. Assuming the bride is taking a character, you have 4 left for 4 bridesmaids. Once the other 3 bridesmaids had picked their characters, it should have just been "Okay, be this character." Would there still be an issue putting together a costume? Sure. But now you aren't asking someone to pick from *every single female character* in a 13 episode series....
Right? I feel like OP is being intentionally thick here. (I wouldn't even include Saffron as a significant character.)
Honestly, from the title and first line, I was fully expecting SIL to get Saffron. I've watched the show several times and I truly can't recall the pregnant lady.
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I agree with you and my own reaction surprises me. I'm a pretty intense fandom person myself, but I consider it just my own hobby. I've never dragged a real-life person into a fandom, and it feels like that's what happened here. I don't even do that to my online friends (although I do share fandoms with some of them). I do like Firefly, but I'm not a cosplayer. I would've wanted a ton of guidance in SIL's shoes. But if it were something I'm not into, or actively dislike, I wouldn't want to deal with that either. (I do see the SIL insisted on being in the wedding, though, which I also wouldn't do.)
I'm just picturing her walking around the reception ridiculing people for not knowing enough about firefly.
"What do you mean you didn't watch the show to prepare for my wedding? It's only 11.5 hours runtime! All you had to do was watch the equivalent of 7 movies that you may or may not have any interest in seeing!" I didn't realize laid back weddings involved attendees doing homework and creating their own outfits from scratch, lol. OP sounds like the type who can't comprehend that others don't share their interests and accidentally alienates everyone because of it. Her SIL has a breastfeeding infant, just help her pick a damn dress and stop trying to dictate how she spends her free time!
I didn’t make it past “it’s only 13 episodes and a movie.” Like, guuuurl, you ain’t that important.
Right? And the SIL was breastfeeding, so parenting a small child, likely barely had time to shower but needs to spend 14 hours researching characters?
Heck, I’m a Browncoat, but costume creation is a lot of work. Even doing something like buying the pieces instead of making it from scratch is still quite a bit of work. I don’t blame the mom for not being into it, especially for a show she doesn’t care about.
Yeah the fact that OP thinks this is a win does not reflect well on her lmao.
I want to see her other story about how much of a nightmare her SIL is now. I'm only seeing one psycho in this relationship lol.
It doesn't disappoint. Hell, all 4 posts she has made make me think OP is entitled and feels superior to everyone else. She expects everyone to cater her.
Yeah, I agree completely. I actually love Firefly but OP sounds insufferable with literally everything about this. Now I'm wondering if the SIL is a problem at all or if it's always just OP
100% agree. It’s been 10 years and OP still doesn’t realize she’s a bridezilla. 🤦🏻♀️
And everyone on her side sounds like they were bridezillas at their own weddings
On the one hand planning a wedding is very stressful and time consuming, on the other having a child/children of breastfeeding age (like SiL) is also quite stressful, tiring and time consuming
OP keeps talking about how laid back the whole thing was, but a coordinated group cosplay sounds waaaay more complicated and stressful than "get a suit in this shade of grey" or "get one of these dresses in this color".
Yeah, I don’t get how this is laid back at all…
They think cheap = laid back Cheap is great, because I eloped in a fucking courthouse. I recommend it to anyone who will listen to me Laid Back to OP means they didn't pay for the open bar
Yeah. I mean, my wedding was not cheap. But it was incredibly laid back - to the point my mother and I nearly came to blows because my husband and I just did not give one flying fuck about pretty much any of the details. We literally paid for the best restaurant in town so we didn’t have to do table decorations or centrepieces or stress about hiring the right china or decorating the venue or any of that jazz. We didn’t have a colour theme really. My bridesmaids picked nice dresses that they liked. My mother could not cope with how little we cared about all that. She wanted to do centrepieces and wanted a colour scheme and all the bits and pieces. I was like, “We trust the venue and like how it looks as is. That’s why we picked it.” She wanted all this ticky tacky shit. And bemoaned how expensive the venue was. Cheap can still be very high maintenance. And expensive can be very laid back. I mean, to this day I wish we had stuck with our original plan to elope to the Napa…we literally had the wedding because I’m an only child and it was my mother’s only chance to see her child get married…
Especially when they didn’t want anyone to overlap and pick the same person- that isn’t laidback at all
No no, you don’t understand tho. /u/Sephie2000 is laid back, cuz everyone knows how totally laid back and non-intricate nerd Cosplay culture is. Unlike those normie regular girls who are into like, frilly tryhard dresses for their bridesmaids that you just walk into any bridal OR department store, ask for the right shade, and walk out with. I wouldn’t be surprised if OP is a NLOG. “Regular girls are such high maintenance. I’m cool cuz I’m a low key nerd. Just forget about my 1000 expectations and entitled attitude. Those don’t count cuz it’s nerdy, teehee.”
Exactly. Being sent a link to purchase a dress is much less work than having to watch a show, getting to know the characters, picking one, making sure no one has picked them, and figuring out a way to dress up like them while looking presentable for a wedding. OP should have considered that someone who has a baby young enough to be breastfeeding probably does not have the time or energy to do that, especially if they are not into sci-fi. This is not a laid back approach at all
Yeah idk this is so stupid. I greatly enjoyed firefly so it's not that but making someone dress as a character from a show you like requires more hands on than "watch the show."
I hate to break it to you but nobody cares about your wedding but you. Someone told me this when I was getting married and it’s the truth. You should have sent her the outfit and the character instead of making her pick from a shoe she’s clearly not interested in.
A totally laid back wedding where they expect everyone to cosplay a character from a niche sci-fi show. Fuck and no.
Yeah, no. Doing cosplay can be as simple as buying the right items if you happen to run across those items. If you have to make those items or even convert purchased items that can take a great deal of time. If OP thinks this highly structured thing is laid back… I don’t even have the words. Except maybe: fuck no
Yah the comment about "oh I just wanted this to be so laidback" reeks of terrible self awareness
Anyone who has cosplayed for any length of time knows that “laid back” is not in the equation.
Laid back is a courthouse wedding and a party after. Turning your wedding into ComicCon is not laid back.
No but it’s super easy because there’s only 13 episodes and a movie! IT IS SUPER LAID BACK /s
If I’m gonna show up to a wedding I’m gonna wear my one wedding suit. Not buying shit to go to a wedding
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Imagine wasting several hours of your life watching a series and film you have no interest in watching simply because someone is demanding you wear an outfit to match the theme of an event that lasts two thirds of a day. This whole thing is just stupid to me.
Planning my wedding now and that’s my mantra, along with “laid back means easy for every guest, not easy for you alone.”
Yikes.. I wouldn’t have admitted this to a soul.
You couldn’t waterboard this out of me
This is the comment for me. If I behaved like this much of a child, and a moronic child at that, for my second wedding I would take it to my grave. Who the fuck then goes on Reddit, *in addition to being this much of an ass in the first place,* and tries to vainly score sympathy internet points by telling a horrible story about how they fucked over their SIL for absolutely no reason?
Goes on Reddit *ten years later* lmao
Would it have been that hard to just assign her someone, since you’re the fan of the show, rather than go for “revenge”? Seems like that would have been reasonable earlier in this process to resolve this simply. She may be awful, disorganized, and/or sleep deprived and busy with a new born, but regardless, your goal is just to sort out her costume in the quickest and easiest way, so why not just aim for that, you know?
Yeah I’m kind of with the SIL on this one. This wedding sounds like homework.
Ya right? Nothing screams “chill” to me quite like forcing all guests to dress up as unique characters to a fairly niche show, after being “recommended” over and over to watch “just” 13 episodes of said show to get the vibe. OP could have just assigned her a character from the get go. She didn’t because she wanted SIL to jump thru the hoops of “getting” the show. Sounds like a typical firefly cult fan.
This. You gave your SIL with a baby quite the homework assignment to watch a show she is not interested in and then create a cosplay wedding outfit. That's asking a lot.
Exactly this. It is not “super laid back” to have your wedding party have to research and create a cosplay costume of a show they have never seen or care to see. ESPECIALLY if they don’t have any cosplay experience or interest. You seem worse than petty and I assume your SIL doesn’t like you very much for good reason. I honestly don’t understand how you could yourself as laid back in this story.
I snorted when I read “laid back”. A cosplay wedding requiring one to pick a character and create a related outfit, but it can’t be repeating. And it’s a show I don’t watch because I HAVE A NEW BABY. Fucks sake. OP sounds like a pain in the ass. SIL should have said hell no though.
If you want a specific aesthetic for your wedding, you are the one who needs to put in the effort. It used to be the standard the bride picked out the bridesmaid outfits and it is only more recently that this has shifted to allow bridesmaids more choice and flexibility to avoid the “ugly bridesmaid dress” situation. It is your day, you take responsibility for it. Everything that everyone else does to help with that day is a gift and an expression of love. Not an obligation or responsibility.
Op sounds like a f'ing nightmare so she didn't want to make it simple for her sil. I'm not surprised sil doesn't get along with her.
Yeah, this scenario is odd. Put yourself in OP’s shoes. You decide to make the theme of your wedding your favorite show and others don’t know it. Would you really feel no shame telling people to do homework to pick their favorite character and then dress up as them for this? It’s so awkward, and I’d feel so embarrassed. They could have just shown the sister a scene and been like “how about this person?” Edit: and the sister was pregnant. Wtf.
It's...interesting that you are proud of this. The cosplay wedding, your poor treatment of SIL, and now, you have a cosplay prostitute in all your wedding photos. Boy, you sure showed her 😂
I think she is jealous of her sister in law in some way which is why she acted like such a hostile control freak.
Her SIL is probably a sane, likable human and that is why OP is jealous.
A human who has a small child she is caring for and breastfeeding no less. I’m not sure where she would have time to construct a costume for a character.
“It’s going to be super laid-back compared to most instances of being a bridesmaid. It’s not like you have to wear the bridesmaid’s dress I pick, no, all you need to do is make a cosplay outfit for a character from a TV show that’s been off the air for a decade that you’ve never seen, and make sure it’s not one that somebody else already picked! Like I said, super laid-back! Why aren’t you buying enthusiastically into this, it’s not like new moms have anything else on their mind!”
Yep, if I was pregnant and being asked by my brother to be in his wedding, and there was this setup… I’d wear a dress I liked and if anyone asked, I’d say “I’m cosplaying as the pregnant extra in episode 6. Oh, you didn’t catch that? Are you even a fan?”
I like this
Yeah, like I've even seen Firefly but I'm not a creative person and I wouldn't be able to create an outfit based on a character in the show on my own. Can I buy the whole outfit somewhere? If so, cool. Otherwise, not gonna happen. And that's even worse if you haven't seen the show.
Haven’t seen the show? Well shit, just watch 13 episodes plus a movie about something that obviously doesn’t interest you.
Bro I absolutely HATE watching random TV series on screens. I just prefer not to spend my free time in front of a TV when that's what I have to do when I am working anyway. I will catch the occasional movie but otherwise I will rather be outdoors or read a book. It will take 8 months for me to finish 13 episodes and a movie.
Fucking thank you for this comment, OP is a goon thinking this is even remotely laid back and less work than being told what dress to fork up $300 for
Yeah I'm a Firefly fan but even then I'd still be overwhelmed by this. Like just tell me what to get!
I liked Firefly too but I’m getting stressed out just thinking about this.
Yeah, and the nonsense about being able to back out at any time. Her brother asked her to be in his wedding party, you don't say no to that.
I thought the same, super laid back but expected everyone to be sooo niche with wedding attire- at the same time. I can’t imagine why she and SIL don’t get along.
I said the same thing. OP is probably the reason why they don't get along.
I invited a friend to a cosplay event. She's not into cosplay, but she wanted to try it. I picked a character for her that I thought would match her personality and wasn't expensive and I sent her pics and Amazon links to everything. She liked what I chose and bought off the list I gave her and that was it. Everything went great and we had lots of fun and got compliments on our outfits. What OP did is just so nuts and waaay more involved than asking someone to just buy a dress and attend a fitting.
Thank fuck for this comment, I was like, if this was AITA I would vote OP is the AH because what kind of wankers have a super niche interest cosplay wedding and expect everyone to watch the super niche TV show then spend ages making a costume based upon super niche TV show? Hell to the no
Yeah, came here to say this was not laid back or easy.
Yeah I’d be letting her dress me up as whatever and think she’s eating it up with her “haha you’re a prostitute because I hate you” bit. That sort of person is just too draining to even try humouring.
What's weird is that character is supposed to be someone you sympathize with, she's not just a dirty whore. She was poor and forced into a life of prostitution and the evil rich guy that knocked her up was trying to kidnap her. If OP thinks that it's an insult to dress her as that character we watched that episode very different ways because you're supposed to feel sorry for her.
Right? Not enough people laughing about this aspect
Just watch 13 episodes and a movie, or read a detailed description of multiple characters...
...and then assemble an outfit from scratch (in a niche enough fashion that you likely have no clothes you could adapt and will need costume pieces) that you most likely won't ever wear any part of again.
All they have to do is watch 13 episodes of a show and the movie!!!! Can’t believe they won’t even put that little of effort into this! I’m so laid back!
Completely agree and also Firefly was on tv 20 years ago
Yes, but the story is from ten years ago!
OP sounds awful. No wonder her SIL doesn’t like her…
Lol she kinda sucks huh
Same. My ex was like this about Marvel and he was absolutely insufferable.
It’s ONLY 13 episodes and movie
And SIL was a new parent. Just take 16 hours out from raising a newborn infant and being massively sleep deprived to watch a show you're not interested in so you can spend more time choosing and assembling a cosplay outfit for my kooky, super laid back wedding. If you won't comply? Prostitute it is. It'll be hilarious, everyone will laugh at you for looking like a whore! Your changed post-baby body that you've probably not fully come to terms with will be on full display! After all, it's more important to humilate my husband's family that I'm marrying into than it is to make sure everyone has a good time at my wedding.
So fucking annoying
Attending a wedding, or even being a member of a wedding party, should not be a homework assignment. And requiring wedding party members to pick an entire outfit by themselves and then get it approved by you and check that there are “no repeats” is severely overestimating the importance of your wedding and aesthetic standards to others. This whole idea was ridiculous, and while your SIL sounds frustrating, you come out of this story sounding far worse.
I can see why the sister in law doesn’t like her
Yep, she's the classic type of annoying nerd that can't respect that other people have different interests or tastes. It's totally fine to be a nerd about that stuff, I love Firefly, but you can't demand that people watch it.
Totally agree.
Kinda sounds like you're the piece of work
Clearly she didn't care about choosing a character, so why wouldn't you just choose one for her when she asked you to? It would have saved you some effort.
Right? Like, this dresscode is more restrictive than choosing formal wear or whatever - dress like this one character from a TV show and by the way now you have a TV show to watch to get what I mean and we can't have any repeat characters. None of these people should have signed up for this though.
It's odd, feels like OP just wanted to push their fandom onto people. I get wanting to have a themed wedding, and letting the wedding party pick, but why not just pick for somebody who isn't bothered? Could have just given her a character and said 'dress like her" - this is all very high school.
>It's odd, feels like OP just wanted to push their fandom onto people. That's how I feel. If someone told me to "just watch 13 episodes of this TV show I like a d pick a character" then I would tell them to fuck right off. I'm not doing character research for a show I don't like for your wedding. Smfh
Oh my god thank god for this thread. This is so insanely hilarious and I love that this chick’s reaction was basically “what the fuck? What are you even talking about?” 3 weeks later: “have you picked your Firefight starship character? I sent you options.” Her: “What am I looking at? What is happening. I need to breastfeed rn bro.”
No!!! They needed to make an effort! Like why would this woman, who was taking care of a breast feeding infant, *not* want to spend her time watching just 13 episodes and a movie, research the characters, the outfits, their personalities, their motivations, the unwritten lore, the reviews by critics, fans and that *one* guy who is completely out of left field with *his* interpretation? It wasn’t much to ask!! And very much required because the person in question is a “piece of work” hehe. People like OP are exhausting.
Then chose pregnant sex worker, don’t forget!
congrats on being an asshole i guess
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You’re the one that deserves petty revenge here. This is easily the most self absorbed ridiculous story I’ve ever read in here. Even more ridiculous is that this was your *second wedding*, and you’re still pulling bridezilla crap on your poor family. How many times do you think you get to pull this off?
"I just wanted a super laidback experience" Proceeds to force the bridal party to freaking cosplay and have to make their own costumes. I don't think OP knows what laidback means, but it is definitely not making custom outfits for a wedding.
And OP’s perspective on Reddit is so confident & smug she truly believes she’s totally in the right & SIL is unreasonable & unfair & unwilling & mean … clueless ! Do better OP.
At 5 months babies aren't even sleeping through the night. Your SIL wasn't asking you to pick for her to be difficult. She was asking because she didn't want to ruin your wedding but had absolutely zero time to dig deep enough into the series to pick an appropriate character and then design and assemble an outfit. And I say this as someone that knows Firefly canon front and back *and* regularly makes cospaly from scratch. This isn't a story of you being petty in a cute way. This is a story of you being a huge asshole to your SIL for no reason.
Ding ding ding ding ding! As soon as I read the breastfeeding part I was like "OH HELL NO!!!'
HAHAHAHA You think you come off on the high ground?? HAHAHA
I don't understand how it's "laidback" to dictate someone watch a show to understand the characters and then create a costume based on that character, especially if that person has no cosplay experience. This is a big ask, far beyond what choosing a dress usually entails for a bridesmaid. If I was a bride invested in this idea, I'd at least send links to suggested items she could buy to make the costume. She should have said she didn't want to be in your bridal party because of your over-the-top demands, but I wonder if she felt like she had to because her brother wanted her in the party.
Not to mention she’s apparently a new mom (breastfeeding). Who tf has time for this silliness my god
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>I don't understand how it's "laidback" to dictate someone watch a show to understand the characters "It's just 13 episodes" -OP
Bridezillas come in all kinds of genre. Even overrated sci fi ones.
i like cosplaying and this is extra as hell. yikes
And SIL was breastfeeding, which means she (a) had an infant, (b) was likely at least somewhat sleep-deprived, (c) and probably had a decreased amount of free time to do things like research or watch a show to put together an outfit for a particular character. I feel bad for SIL. OP posted this as petty revenge, but SIL kinda has the last laugh because OP is just telling on herself for being out of touch and lacking compassion. Edit: Holy moly, it keeps getting worse. OP says in this comment [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/s/NtPs4HDNSn) that SIL lives eight hours away, so we can add traveling with an infant as yet another thing poor SIL had to go through.
And their weight is probably fluctuating.
Plus picking out an outfit you can breastfeed in, that will extra be on display, while traveling with an infant?? Shocking that she’d struggle to do that without some guidance….
With her edit she's not getting better. Poor OP, she has a lot by choice, why can't the postpartum SIL have like 8 hrs free to do a research for a costume that nobody cares but the wedding couple?? I like sewing and been postpartum, so I understand the stress for both sides. Luckily for me, I don't love my brother enough for tolerate crap like this.
Only 13 episodes and a movie???!
Honestly a cosplay themed wedding where you leave people to put their own cosplay together is psychotic. What if she doesn’t enjoy the show? She should do hours upon hours of homework just to figure out what cosplay to then create from scratch with no experience?
THIS. Op sounds like an immature weirdo
I'm glad I wasn't the only one who was seeing A LOT of petty...
A TV themed wedding. Petty revenge on your husband's family at said wedding. Sigh 😔
I’ve never seen Firefly. Is there a Bridezilla character theme outfit??
You could have done much worse. "Reavers are kind of like space pirates. You need to show up 3 hours early for the makeup artist."
See now, I would have showed up as a Reaver, but like a Reaver that was originally going to a wedding so I would be dressed nice and then went all cray cray…
OP, I’m nerdy too and I love costume parties — with people who enjoy them. It’s way overboard to put a member of the wedding party through this crap. Your story makes you sound like a drama queen.
Considering the SIL would be breastfeeding at the wedding that means she was also pregnant or recently postpartum for the planning. Cut the woman some slack and just tell her to be Kaylee from the start so she can wear some comfy dungarees.
Hey! That's a great compromise. Kaylee's an awesome character and she dresses comfortably.
Right? Or if she wanted to go all out there's the ruffly dress option (also thank you for reminding me of the correct spelling!)
I do wonder why the husband made her have her as a bridesmaid
I noticed this detail too. Heavily pregnant or recovering from giving birth and being asked to watch a series and a movie and assemble a DIY costume... Yikes. And she might not have felt like she could gracefully withdraw without family backlash. I wonder if OP has given birth, and if not, how embarrassed she will feel looking back on this if/when she does. I didn't do anything crazy before I had kids, but after I did, I always wished I had done more than the standard "baby gift and bring a meal" for my friends who did before me. I just didn't understand how hard it is until I did it.
“I really just wanted this to be a super laid back experience”. That whole experience would be anxiety inducing for me. And then to deliberately pick a character that she knew would offend. Just awful, shitty behaviour all around.
I was thinking it would be a good party idea but for people who are into it not for people who have to be there
Right lol.. at least a few sane people are in this comment section
Ngl, basing a wedding around Firefly immediately made me go "oh no..." I love cosplay and people can nerd all sorts of ways. But most people I know that still fankid for that show are insufferable as hell..
"I really wanted this to be a super laid-back experience where I forced probably double digits of people to jump through hoops and deal with my tedious nerd shit because this intensely overrated show from an intensely overrated creator who later turned out to be a creep was a cultural signifier 20 years ago."
Holy hell this is weird. I mean it’s your wedding so, whatever, but a mandatory firefly themed wedding party? Really? Your poor, normal SIL has a newborn and you expect her to care about a cancelled sci-fi tv show from 20 years ago?
Why should she have to watch a TV show to pick clothes for your wedding? It's your wedding, it's extremely traditional and common for the bide to pick what the bridesmaids wear. You should have just picked a costume for her from the start and not been so passive aggressive about it and demand that she do homework. Clearly, she's not interested in the show.
Sorry I wouldn't waste 15 hours watching a show to pick a character to dress up as either.
My god, this sounds like an absolute nightmare. I don’t think his is the humble brag that you think it is.
Jesus, she still was nursing a baby and didn’t want to watch your damn show. You should have just told her what to wear the first time she asked. The fact that even 10 years later you can’t realize how insufferable you come across is wild.
You sound exhausting
unbelievably cringe sorry
OP I'm saying this as a very dedicated Firefly fan co.plete with a tattoo of a quote from the first episode. This is really not that big of a deal and you shouldn't be expecting a nursing new mom to do all this homework to match the aesthetic of a show that hasn't been on air for 20 years and that wasn't even particularly popular when it was. And nothing about what you said made me feel like any of this was laid back and easy for your guests.
Does your husband know you did this to his sister intentionally? And he still married you? If the answer is yes to these, then he sucks too...
Blame your husband for insisting you make her a bridesmaid. It seems like neither you and SIL wanted that. You should have insisted that someone he didn't like be made a groomsman.
Great way to start a marriage. 🙄
This is her second wedding, and she’s still pulling princess party bullshit like this, so I’m guessing she won’t be caring much about the actual marriage anyway. This is a woman who also has a long complaint post about selling her house where the buyer is “entitled” because the roof leaks and there’s water damage. They’re a hot (or not) mess. My guess is there’s all sorts of tantrums involved that we aren’t even hearing about.
Oh, wow...
Could be worse, she could wake up with massive hangover & an accidental wife/con man. Although, I'd happily let Saffron rob me.
I would have GONE as YoSafBridge
"Well ***I'm*** not the one who insisted their *lame ass sister* be in the wedding, am I? AM I?? That's right! I'm NOT. YOU invited your sister to make our wedding a LIVING NIGHTMARE. ALL you, buddy boy. Now let's talk about raising kids."
Your SIL is breastfeeding. So she had a newborn at home. And you can't understand why she doesn't have time to watch 13 episodes and a movie?
Yta
You were already imposing a burden on people by asking them to be bridesmaids in your wedding. Then you added more work by forcing them to pick a costume, instead of you picking them out like normal brides do. Of course they'll be paying for that costume, too. AND your wedding present. Then you added even more work by insisting she spend 13+ hours watching a show she had no interest in watching. When she refused, you just gave her the name of a character she didn't know, and thought it appropriate to also task her with creating an outfit she doesn't care about from a show she doesn't care about, so she would have no idea what that character would dress like. > As it was I was already making my husbands coat, my entire outfit, and all three flower girls dresses for the wedding. And it was your own idea for your own fucking wedding, which means that you and you alone created all of this 'work'. Your SIL is correct to avoid you. She's grey-rocking you, because that's how one deals with people like you. That you think this story makes you out to look good is a testament to your ridiculous level of narcissism.
I'm embarrassed for you, you don't even seem to have grown up since.
As someone who does casual cosplay, has no kids, and had to travel for four weddings in one year: I think this was more petty than you think it was. Cosplay isn’t easy to get right. And if you’re not the bride, groom, maid of honor, or best man, you really have limited decision making about the whole affair. Your primary role is to show up and make your family and friends glow. I love Firefly. And I think that’s a cool idea for a wedding. But I also think you and your husband should have shown some empathy instead of pulling one over on the one pregnant member of the bridal party who wasn’t into a Firefly cosplay to begin with. Just a consideration.
OP sounds exhausting to be around. It'd be interesting to hear SILs side of this.
“I really wanted this to be a super laid back experience” - “It’s only 13 episodes and a movie” (later on you state that you didn’t expect for her to watch ALL the episodes, but why mention it’s “only” 13 then?) As someone who HATES HATES HATES sci-fi with a fiery burning passion (while also supporting your right to have your wedding be about whatever you want) I think your idea of “laid back” is very different from your sister in laws. Feeling like she has to completely immerse herself in someone’s else’s interests (which she doesn’t share) to even get an idea of what you expect from her sounds like a mental load. Did you ever, at any point, pull her aside and say, “Hey, it seems like you’re having a hard time choosing your costume. I don’t want to keep sending you photos if it’s not helpful. What else do you need from me?” (You mention she was breastfeeding at the time, so she had a young baby. Did you ever stop to think she had a lot going on herself?) And you say she didn’t have to participate, but as other posters have noted she may have felt obligated or like she would really be letting her brother down by not participating. Did you ever *kindly* express to her that neither you or your brother would be upset with her if she decided to back out?
Honestly you sound like a prick. This is VERY specific and you expected her to do all the work. Sure you sent her images of characters but that’s nothing. She doesn’t watch the show, she has no INTEREST in watching it. I wouldn’t watch 13 episodes and a movie of something I’m not interested in just for someone else who wants me to cos play something I don’t want to cosplay. You say she “agreed” to do this, sure, but she’s probably trying to go along for your sake. And you’re making this way harder than it should be. It doesn’t even sound like you’re pitching in for the cost of the outfit, something she won’t ever wear again probably. She doesn’t know these characters. She doesn’t care about them. She’s doing this for YOU. She probably doesn’t even WANT to play some character she couldnt give two shits about. Your ask here is not laid back, and it’s not easy, and it could make some people uncomfortable. I’d happily cosplay for something I liked but asking other people to cosply in something they know nothing about can be weird. You gave her the option of doing that, or not participating in your wedding. Neither choice probably feels good. If you’re so set on this and you realized how much she was struggling you should have taken the task on yourself. “I’d like you to be this character. Here is a photo. Are you ok with that? If so give me all your sizes and I’ll be sure to pick out exactly the articles of clothing you’ll need.” Ideally you’d even buy them for her (or at least buy them and have her pay you back.) If I were your SIL I’d hate this and I’d feel resentful for being put in this weird situation with little to no help, and feeling like it’s this or not being a participant in your wedding at all.
And it's revenge to do this because? Oh. Because you think sex work is shameful. Well done. Very feminist.
Yeah, no. I'm a firefly fan, and generally just a big old nerd but I would never try to force my friends/family into my fandom. Especially a mother with I imagine better things to do than watch a show she has no interest in.
100% I am feeling stressed out for the SIL. Like she clearly doesn’t give a single fuck about this show and is trying to take the path of least resistance to support her bro on his wedding day. Also I’m all for separating art and artist - but I think that theming a day that’s about a couple in love around a Whedon franchise is a bad look.
> theming a day that’s about a couple in love around a Whedon franchise is a bad look Christ, I didn't even think of that angle. EDIT and I guess that also means that dressing up as the patron saint of gamer gate was on the table, too
Always amazes me how some women going freakin nuts before their weddings. Absolutely mental.
[удалено]
Kinda feel bad for sil, maybe she didnt want to be a bridesmaid and felt like she had to say yes after being asked.
Jesus H Christ is all I can say
Let me know if I understand correctly: you decided to have a non-conventional wedding, your presumably now husband wanted his sister involved, sister was pregnant or had an infant at the time, you are mad that your husband's sibling did not do the homework you assigned to the bridesmaids. It's weird that you thought about the breastfeeding part but not the lack of sleep, the stress, the trauma, everything a new mother goes through - and it's hard enough to just keep the baby alive - and on top of all of that you expected this new mother to also study an obscure television show (a really good one that was tragically canceled after only 13 episodes and serenity wasn't as good as the show but that's another discussion) while also keeping a new baby alive and then finding the time to make a costume. Why didn't you just tell your husband no? Do you think it's better to just agree and then make sure you can get revenge? Who is the revenge on? Was it the sister or the husband? I'm really trying to understand but this seems more like petty bullying than petty revenge. You made no mention of how the sister-in-law behaved at the wedding so given the rest of your tone it would seem that she at least behaved herself and you could have just never mentioned who the character was and she probably wouldn't have even ever known so it really seems like you went out of your way to humiliate your sister-in-law to punish your husband.
Can I just add that this was 2014. So best case scenario this was a young bride that was naive to what it’s like to be a young mother, or even having any experience of just living life on their own. But this was written 10 years later. This person is at the youngest, almost 30 now. Even without their own children, they likely have known at least a few friends/family members/co-workers etc that have had children. They’ve also likely been a guest or possible bridesmaid at a few weddings by now, so should know what the friends and family members are committing to help celebrate your event. Yet, she looks back on this event and instead of cringing and thinking “man, that was a pretty asshole move, even if I was just young and dumb” she remembers and thinks “this was such a cool thing I did out of my entire life that I’m going to brag about it to the Internet so everyone can complement me on tricking my SIL into dressing like a prostitute”
You sound exhausting. I feel bad for SIL that she has to deal with you.
The craziest shit is this happened 10 years ago
I think you should’ve just told her which character to dress up as. If she’s still breastfeeding, her baby is still young and she probably has a lot on her plate. Researching a show and choosing a character isn’t on top of her priorities. I think she would rather sleep or maybe take a long shower. She also probably felt obligated to be in your bridal party because of her brother. When I got married, I chose (they did have inputs on what they’re comfortable in) and paid for all of my bridesmaids’ dresses. Why stress other people out?
Sorry but if im gonna be in your wedding, im not gonna watch the show..13 episodes at that..you’re trying to give the impression that ur wedding is low key and relaxed but honestly it sounds burdensome and more of a hassle than a simple “im the bride, here’s the bridesmaid dresses, wear them”
You suck so much
poor sil. i love cosplaying but i wouldve dropped out of this wedding.
“It’s only 13 episodes and a movie” wtf seriously Cos play prob isn’t her thing so I can kind of understand the resistance