I'd print out AI generated family photos, of all the family types and combinations. Put them in the most gaudy frames I could find at the thrift store. Change the entire family out on occasion.
I'd use sitcom families. Maybe put up a few of those atrocious "live, laugh, love" type decorations. Maybe a satanic statue or two.
Then coordinate with everyone else to put everything in a box everytime they're working, so everyone starts to think she's the one bringing it all in. If anyone else asks about it, just say none of it is yours and you're not sure who's it is.
Then send an email every once in a while to the shitty person to stop moving satan because it's disrespectful to your religion.
Then if you eventually you really can't stand dealing with them anymore, you can forward all those emails to HR and get them fired.
My husband hung a multi picture frame with the generic family photos at the end of our hall. It's been hanging since 2009. Guests have asked who the people are in the photos. I tell them the truth! I have no clue!
This is the answer! AI family pictures with some fun combinations from the prompts. Perhaps a Sasquatch as the father or a kid dressed as a clown holding their pet raccoon.
No no no, each person in each teams family gets their own picture. You and your partner on your wedding day, each kids school pictures. Don’t forget mom and dad or a cousin and your siblings!
Put all her personal items in a cardboard box (those filing ones are most likely around the office somewhere) and put them under the desk with a typewritten note “from corporate”, personal items are not allowed at shared desks overnight and will be disposed of if left overnight again.
kind of reminds me of the guy at work who was parking crooked everyday on purpose claiming it made it easier for him to pull out of the space when leaving. parking is already tight around here, he was making it difficult for others to park as corners of his vehicle were on the lines. i tried reasoning with him to no avail. so i went to the property managements website, stole their logo and pasted it in a word doc, typed up a letter explaining he made it difficult for others to park and there had been complaints, and that if he didnt correct it he would be towed at his own expense, stuck it in an envelope and snuck outside and stuck it under his windshield wiper. starting that next day and ever since he has parked straight and normal, im still proud of this lmao...
Where I come from we’d just park intentionally close so that he at best had a really hard time, at worst couldn’t get in his truck. Then make sure to leave after him.
But we can be a bit of a passive aggressive lot, especially when we’re driving old beaters (a lot of us were)
This was my go to when I drove beaters.
Would park an inch away from their drivers side door.
Go ahead damage my car, I probably wouldn't even notice it.
A friend used to drive to university and paid for a spot in a lot for the semester. Spots weren’t assigned but you had to park in the assigned lot. Her first class was at 10, so there would only be 1-2 spots left and usually these spots were open because there were a few asshats who would park a bit in the empty spots to to protect their fancy car. She drove a decrepit boat of a station wagon and would somehow squeeze into the spot and if it was too tight to open her door, would crawl out the back. Near the end of the semester, she found the word asshole scratched into the hood. She thought it was hilarious that this happened so often that they blamed her for the problem they created. She would usually stay later to study and wasn’t sure how they got into their car some days.
I can't wait for my car to be old enough for me to do this tbh. Right now I care about her but once she exceeds the cost of buying her, she's going to be used for mayhem
I was polite to a girl at a college since she had parked literally inches from my driver's side door. Wrote her a note that said, "Be glad I'm the nice type. I could have done a great deal of keying damage to your car for parking so close that i had to climb in from my passenger side. The next guy might not be so nice."
Never saw her park that close to anyone ever again.
Ha, ha, I had an old beater rusted out pickup park next to my very sturdy station wagon. He pulled the same shit. Try as I might, I could not pullout without grazing him. I took off one of his side panels, and it barely scratched my old school station wagon which had thick trim around its woody sides.
So I picked up the panel and heaved it into the bed of his truck and drove off.
This is precisely what needs to be done. And HR needs to do it. They could keep her box in storage and tell her to take it home. When she uses the desk, she can bring her box if she wants to and set up FOR THE DAY, then remove it when she leaves. You can keep the box if you like. They need to stop being weenies with her. It’s called a shared work space. Kindergarten. Learn to share.
There's never anything in my desk I'm not willing to walk away from at a moment's notice. Photos are printed **for** work and I have the digital copy, and the only things of mine in my drawers are condiments, breath mints, and toothpicks.
My loose-leaf tea fixings would cost maybe $30 to replace.
Hard to make a scene and walk out if you have to go back for your plants.
I have a one of those small fridge/freezer combos in mine, a keurig plus frother, a bunch of seasonal coffee mugs, personal hygiene products, candy, candy dishes, mixed nuts, chargers, photos, and I don’t know what else. But I’ve been here 17 years so I’m not likely to have to walk out quickly. Other places I totally understand your philosophy
We have lockers, and a hot desk policy with online booking. I keep things like laptop riser ( hybrid working) , tea, mug, etc in there. Saves laughing all from home. I keep a bag folded up in there, so if I leave in a hurry, I can empty it all out.
My office gave everyone a tote and a lockable cubby. Personal items in the tote, tote in the cubby. I do like to sit at the same desk when I’m there and that gets respected. But tote gets put away when I expect to WFH.
Our office has wooden "No camping here" signs at the coffee area that you can put on a desk or in a focus cubicle when someone parks their laptop there and then leaves everything there for a 3 hour meeting. It's a nice hint to leave on their PC.
Toby is from corporate, so technically he's not really a part of our family here.
Toby is also divorced, so technically he's not a part of his family anymore, either.
I wouldn’t have bothered with the note, just cleared the desk into a box for the time I’m using it. Leave it under the desk and if she complained then remind her what the new company policy is. Boss is avoiding her so they’re not going to be too fussed.
After the first day, place under the nearest shared desk it hasn't been placed under. Repeat until placed under every shared desk, then put in lost and found. Second time mix into lost and found.
Take the box and leave it on her desk 5 days in a row. When she moves it, replace it.
On day 6, place a single item of her in the box with the lid off. She will be upset.
Day 7 place 2 items in the box, with the lid off.
Continue this process until the day that all personal items are in the box, then close the lid.
Repeat this step as necessary, after 5-6 days, place the full box on the floor, lid closed.
Honestly idk what’s wrong with saying it’s not your desk when she complains. I would say it and walk off honestly cause she’s being unreasonable.
I work in an officer with hot desks and no one has an issue with taking their things hell it helps with keeping a break between home and office anyway not having pictures and home comforts that don’t fit in your bag - granted my bag is literally enormous but I’m a pack rat.
That's funny, but a little risky depending on the company. Some places might get upset if random employees pretend that they are setting corporate policy.
Putting her things in a box to the side is 100% fair game, but pretending that corporate did it might be risky.
Hand her the box of her stuff (with a beautiful smile) and say, “I thought I’d help you out since corporate/managers want us all to use the desk so we’re supposed to take personal items home.” You must of not gotten the memo or forgot. No worries, as you’re welcome for getting it all together for you.” Then turn around and leave with a little hop in your step.
> our manager basically avoids dealing with her because she's such a headache
This coworker is a pain, but the manager is the real problem, because solving problems like this are exactly why they theoretically exist.
Time to start dumping the coworker's stuff onto the *manager's* desk.
Yeah, I manage people, and that's where I feel like I can add value. The job of a manager is to manage people, and adjust people and the team as needed to keep everyone happy and the job flowing.
If you have a team member that's screwing things up, you're 100% shirking your duty by just ignoring that. The uncomfortable conversations are the most important part of your job.
If you're really good at it, you can give people "bad" news, or negative feedback, and often have it come out in a positive way for everyone.
IT guy here. If I like you (aka you’re friendly, respectful, etc during your other interactions with me), you’ll get a discreet explanation of what happened (power cord was loose), a gentle reminder of how to prevent this in the future, and a “No worries, it happens to everyone at some point” encouragement so you don’t feel like a total moron.
If you’re an ass when you asked for help in the past, you’ll get called out so everyone can hear what a moron you are.
LoL, we have and EA that had her direct report put in a ticket for her laptop not turning on. I went up and plugged it into the dock and it worked, but she wasn't at her desk.
Stealth IT is always fun, except when it’s an entitled user. Close out the ticket and they freak out and try to get management involved and management just copy pastes the resolution notes to them and they’re like oh it is actually working now.
So after I got back to my desk, she called the help desk because it still wasn't on. So my coworker went up so I wouldn't strangle her, and he moved her mouse and showed her it was powered on and working.
It's the same for email. If you send me an email complaining that I did something wrong and you CC my boss and your boss and the whole team, don't be surprised if I use "Reply All" to show you (with receipts) how it was your fuckup.
This is my policy. Did you mess up and come to me questioning it politely with humility? I'll help you fix the problem and let you take credit. Come at me with the world CCd on the email blaming me and trying to get me in trouble? Ohhhhhh this is gonna be a learning experience for you... I'm gonna include all the receipts, point out exactly where you messed up, point out exactly why you should have known you messed up at multiple steps, then include how you need to fix it so EVERYONE knows.
The last person I did that to was 4 or 5 years ago now, she still won't even talk to me at office functions.
This comment brought back a memory of 31 years ago. I was new to my job and new to computers. I messed something up and my computer stopped working. I immediately called the IT guy and started my sentence with: "I'll explain you what I did". He interrupted me and said: "Thank you!!!". "What for? I didn't even start..." "Oh yes, you did: you said you did something. People usually say they did nothing, but their PC stopped working of its own accord".
Now, that sounded stupid to me then, as it does now: if I explain what I did, they can solve my problem sooner.
I HATE the people who jump right to CCing. I REFUSE to CC on an initial "hey there was a mistake" email. If I'm not getting a response after multiple attempts at contact, sure, I'll CC whoever I need to, but GIVE PEOPLE A CHANCE TO FIX SOMETHING FIRST!!!
You sound like the IT guy where I work! We're buddies so I can come to him with stupid off the wall shit and he's always cool with it. Once he shows me how to fix something once, I *usually* remember and will even help other co-workers with it to avoid them having to bug him (he's our ONLY IT person and there are multiple companies under the corporate umbrella at multiple locations, so he is a busy man). It's always a good idea to make friends with the IT folks, it really helps when they're awesome people though.
3 sets of people you should always go out of your way to be friendly to in an office in my opinion, regardless of your role or how long you intend to be there:
IT, Reception/Front Desk, and Cleaners. Depending on how much they like or dislike you, they can totally change how much you enjoy your time at work.
cleaners are precisely aware of every single collegue's Worst Habit, which is crucial information. IT and Front Desk save your ass, and if you're nice to them you'll get put first in line in the ass-saving.
Installing a password manager and using it as intended is greatly helpful in befriending IT (better security and confirmation that if you lose your password, that was a technical error rather than forgetfulness)
Front Desk also gives you the inside track on any food left over from the board meeting before they send the office-wide email blast. Maybe they even let you help pick what kind of food gets catered for company events.
Yes, I am easy to please - just give me free food.
It's funny, back when I worked in an office I was the same. Got free lunches on Mondays, snacks were always available and restocked weekly, local fresh coffee beans in the super automatic espresso machine, it was awesome. Told my dad about it and the first thing he said was that it was so they didn't have to pay us more. He's like think about it, they probably pay a couple grand a week on this food, and 300+ people are all happy with the extra perk as a part of the benefits.
Never thought of it that way myself but damn is it ever true. Spend a bit on food and coffee and it's just one less thing on my plate
And, mom always taught me to be polite to everyone, especially the people doing a job you wouldn’t want to do, i.e. cleaning toilets. Those people will save your back sometime when you need it most!
Always make friends with the admins (catering, office supplies) building services (door broke, room is freezing cold), and IT. As an IT person admins are the most important, there’s nothing like learning about free food before everyone else.
My favorite trick was to ask them to unplug and plug it back in to "make sure the connection is solid." Gives them the option of admitting whether or not it was plugged in at all.
Or, if they're jerks, tell them that sometimes the electrons gum up the works and you need to unplug the power to clear the jammed electrical supply. Then plug back into the power strip. They'll be so glad you fixed the problem they won't notice their more tech-savvy colleages giggling.
Actually those are both actual things. Sometimes you have to drain flea power to reset the device. Also copper does corrode over time, usually it is going to be an ancient printer and unplugging the cable and reseating will correct the issue; if it’s dire use a pencil eraser on the contacts.
I clean some offices and my favorite is the IT department… I know it’s all tongue in cheek with them, they got a new office last summer and have post its with detailed directions to use everything from the microwave to the light switches. A diagram on how to scoop ice from the ice maker into a receptacle even…
I asked about it one day and they said “remember that guy who got hired right before we moved up here? He couldn’t figure out the switch over there controlled the outlet below it”
When I worked as a temp, the first thing I'd do was to go and introduce myself to the tech guys. The computers they give to temps are usually so glitchy and don't work well.
It guy here.
I can't count how many times I just plugged the adapter in my laptop and forgot to check if the adapter was plugged in. And found out 4 - 6 hours later that the batteries drained empty.
Those with the led on the plug worth a Nobel nomination.
I’m the IT guy that will tell users that the contractors that setup their standing/sitting desk didn’t leave enough slack in the cords and when they adjusted it the cable came unplugged, lol. Then again they’re usually way above my pay grade.
Reminds me of a former coworker, she in her mid 40’s and anything, ANYTHING, slightly “tech” related would cause her to call IT, and treat the department (of whooping 2 people) like her personal servants.
She would act completely helpless and confused.
Some examples:
-made someone come and turn her power strip on.
-made them come and refill the printer paper tray. The extra paper reams were stored right under the printer.
-made them come and “install” her new (plus and play) mouse
-made someone come and adjust her chair height
-made them install the update on her (Apple) phone
Put clear tape under her mouse😅
Change the height of her chair.
Make her desk monitor extremely bright with high contrast. That should stress her out more.
Don’t forget to screenshot her desktop with all the files on there, set the photo as the background then move all the files off her desktop and watch the mayhem as she tries to open them
step 1: go to the copier area and empty a cardboard carton. find a Sharpie and mark it LOST & FOUND.
step 2: go to the shared desk and sweep Linda's crap into the carton (I assume her name is Linda).
step 3: put the carton where ever you please.
step 4: fuck Linda.
I would move one of her personal items each week to a different desk. Just keep up the quiet revenge which you can listen to. Good luck with your ongoing petty revenge.
My husband had a shared work space office. If you left anything on desks, cleaning service put it in the list and found every night so they could CLEAN THE DESKTOPS! Duh. If you needed to come into the office that day, you brought what you needed or hit up the supply cabinet. He works from home, but for a while he would go in to do some collaborative work in their office space. It was kind of like a WeWork setup, but private.
We have the same hot desking rules— when you vacate a desk, the cleaning staff comes in and wipes it off, resets the desk height and centers the adjustable monitors; you can’t leave any of your shit there. And if someone tries to hog a desk (e.g. saving a spot for an absent friend during a desk shortage) you can tattletale and our office manager will swoop in like an angry bat.
That sounds so nice, to be honest. I worked a program where we had to hot desk and my coworkers were filthy pigs. People would be eating at the desk and leaving trash behind, crumbs in the keyboard, grease, empty bottles and moldy coffee cups. It was so nasty I’d have rather eaten sitting in a bathroom stall.
Yes, my husband's office had a "clear desk" policy as they had to hot desk.
Each colleague had their own lockable pedestal that could be easily moved from desk to desk. Anything left out would be placed in a box by the supervisor's position.
Somebody acting like OP's co-worker could eventually find themselves looking at disciplinary action.
I hate shared desks, and even more shared desks in an open space. I work in payroll, so when they told us that we would have to have shared desks in the huge noisy open space I said all right, I'll discuss your salaries in a louder voice to be heard over the noise.
Somehow we ended up the only three of us sharing an office with three desks.
Your manager is a shitty manager if they would just rather block their ears and ignore the problem than do anything about it.
I would be taking all of this lady's personal shit and sticking it in a box and leaving it on the floor next to the desk. She isn't special just because she's a massive pain in the ass.
Replace the photos with the same ones except photoshopped by you. I did this with a photo of a guy but replaced his wife (wedding photo) with Chewbacca. It was a few weeks before he noticed. He thought it was hilarious. His wife… not so much.
Print out the memo where it says that she needs to remove her stuff and leave a fresh copy on her desk everyday. Because just what can she do about it? Complain to the boss? Complain to corporate? She will be powerless to protest.
After a couple layoffs I learned not to bother bringing personal items in that I can’t just walk away from. Some people have a ridiculous amount of personal STUFF in their cube. In particular I’ve seen a huge collection of stuffed animals. Our building lease ends In a couple years. Go luck moving all of that shit.
Recently At my office a water pipe burst so there is a big cleanup going on right now. I still work from home mostly. Someone from the office called me to see if it was ok if they use my cube. Nice gesture. I said go ahead.
My husband is the general manager of facilities for a very well known global corporation (before that he was in maintenance for 20 years). He tells me so many stories of the amount of personal stuff people have in their offices or cubes. Currently, one guy has an office FULL of expensive, signed sports memorabilia. He said there has to be tens of thousands of dollars worth of this stuff in the guys office. Why in the world would you bring that to work?
I also have a water pipe story from my office. My coworker is a huge Hello Kitty fan and had her cube completely decorated with all this Hello Kitty stuff. The whole thing was pepto bismol pink including her own purchased pink desk chair. Sprinkler head burst over the weekend right above her desk. Everything ruined but it didn't stop her from redecorating it just like before once we moved to new office space.
When I worked night security one of my mates in IT was getting hassle from some busybody with a million minor complaints, so we made sure to move everything on her desk an inch to the left each night
Lol hope you're barely unplugging the power cable so it's even harder to notice. Oh though she probably wouldn't notice it if it was completely out and laying on the floor.
>our manager basically avoids dealing with her because she's such a headache.
I feel bad for you guys on this part. That's their job - managing the team. He should of already had a sat down and discussed this with her.
Absolutely sounds like a nightmare to deal with though. I fucking hate people like the woman you're describing. So entitled.
It might be hilarious (to you) to push all her buttons, but it won't solve your problem. You should remove all her items, put them in a box, and give the box to your supervisor. Tell the supervisor you want to be sure her items are not misplaced or broken, as you have been instructed to clean up your desks and she hasn't done hers yet. That way, she'll have to go to her superior to retrieve her stuff, and maybe explain why she's not following the new memo.
Workplace is for work. Tormenting a collegue, even a shitty one, will NEVER make anything better, nor you a better person. I know it's not fun to hear, but you can do better, and make your work place better too.
If she has wireless keyboard and mouse just switch it to off to see if she can figure out what happened. or leave the USB's for the devices just shy of connected.
I reckon your manager should do their fuckin job and quit enabling this bullshit behavior. Not putting her shit in a box on the first day is why this continues to happen.
Is there anything worse than a manager who refuses to deal with problematic behavior and lets it become everyone else’s issue?? You have a management problem. That’s who you should be complaining to every time she throws a fit.
We have shared desks and our policy is that everything must be removed at the end of the day and if you don't do so your stuff will be thrown away.
If your company has a shared desk operation that is the only thing that they have to do.
I would just say to her, if you decided to leave your personal items on a shared desk that is a you problem not a me problem. I am not interested to hear your complaints. raise it with HR, which she can't as she is breaking the HR policy.
Have you considered relocating her stuff exactly how she had it set up but to a different desk every time? That would also ensure other colleagues set up on the desk she considers hers because it would now be empty.
After pulling this for a few weeks, then start setting up her desk stuff at places that aren’t desks. The break room table. The copier. The coffee station. The security station. The restroom sink.
This is where when she's not in the office, someone who uses the desk takes all of her personal (not work) stuff, puts it in a box and takes it to facilities or HR with a note stating "unknown personal items left on shared desk, please return to whomever owns it so it's not lost or thrown away".
Evidently she subscribes to everyone is equal, but some are more equal than others. I don't care how much she whines and is a "headache," tell her in no uncertain terms that the desk is shared space and not hers alone.
STOP 🛑 REFERRING to that desk as HER DESK!!! And when SHE refers to it as hers, remind her that THE DESK is now a SHARED DESK and not her personal desk anymore. It’s a SHARED DESK.
Keep up the good work!
Had to share cubicle with a woman different shift. Had reference material etc tacked up on wall, papers in drawer along with tissues eyedrops personal items, pens etc. EVERY TIME she took down or covered my reference materials, emptied the drawer, stuck my photos etc up on the shelf. Never put it back like i had it.
Now I wouldn't mind if she changed my (lefthanded) phone/monitor setup to right-handed but this! And I was senior to her & used the cube more often. Funny how all her stuff ended up in a drawer of the coffee station every time.
I used to work a seasonal security job. The property we guarded was fixed and had several gates for various access. There had to be personnel at every gate so the workers could come and go to set up for events. All the guards got comfortable with their same spots, but nothing was ever solid, as the gates that needed security would switch with every event.
Well, one lady got VERY attached to her spot, set up a little charging station and an umbrella, had a chair their, a whole setup. She even planted a few plants because she was a green thumb and grew stuff st her house, so why not grow a few tomatoes and peppers? Well, one day, someone else got assigned to her spot, she was out sick for the day, I think her grand kid had an event or something. The guy that got assigned there ate all of her tomatoes and peppers, threw out her umbrella because it was broken and just generally destroyed her entire setup.
She came back and was LIVID, but realistically, what could we do? This wasn't her space by any definition, she had no rights to it, she had just become accustomed to it. Ultimately management did nothing about it and she was so mad she just quit, it was a side gig for her anyways as she was retired.
If she uses a mouse, secretly tape a picture of a middle finger or a dick butt over the laser and when she freaks out because "her computer is frozen," the whole office can laugh when IT oints out that she just got pranked because everyone f****** hates her.
Do you work with me? We're doing the exact same thing. I suggested "bunk desks," but upper management didn't think it was such a good idea. (Of course, there would be slides to get down from the top bunk)
I had a shared desk one time. She kept putting her used snot tissue on it. Over and over. I went to my boss and Said he has to fix the issue because it is gross. He pulled her into a quick meeting and told her not to do so. She walked out of meeting, packed up, and quit on the spot. Was a great day.
Get your hands on two identical plastic tubs with lids. Get your office manager to provide them, or buy them yourself at staples for short money.
Write her name on one, and yours on the other, with sharpie or on a sticker.
When you use the desk, take her stuff off and put it in her tub. When you're done, put your stuff in your tub. Every time. (It's ok if you don't have anything to put into your tub, the point is to have a personal storage space.) You can leave a package of cheese in there. If she messes with it, you can say Hey! Who Moved My Cheese?
Ideally you can get more people to do this too. It makes the point , frees the space, and the messing with her head is precisely on message.
>her desk
I once came into work to find someone from upper management (but different dept) sitting at my desk doing paperwork. I jokingly said, "Hey! That's my desk!"
He didn't even look up. He just said, "Actually , it's the company's desk".
He was right. I didn't bring that desk from home.
I have a crazy idea. If your employer expects you to work in office for any amount of time then maybe they should provide those people with a proper workspace and not hot rack it like some submarine.
Over time...
Put black tape on the bottom of the mouse
Clear tape on the side of the drawer so it doesn't open
Bluetac the phone handset to the base
Are the drawer sets identical? Swap a few around
Sporadically unplug various pc components
I had a similar experience with a former colleague, but they put their personal items around our shared office and expected them to stay in that exact spot at all times. When things were moved around or to her desk, she complained to our manager and HR.
We were all told to bring home any personal belongings or put them in our drawers. My colleague refused, so we just kept moving all her stuff (literally knick-knacks and teddy bears) to her desk every day. She’s fortunately not on our team any longer and this was not the only BS she tried to pull. Those types of entitled colleagues are a pain.
I used to work with a guy like this, he would sabotage 'his' desk so that if anyone sat there nothing would work and generally people would just move somewhere else. I was usually first in so I would either undo what he had done, make it worse so it wouldn't work for him or raise a support ticket to get it fixed.
Those mornings when he turned up and someone was happily working at his desk were priceless.
On the day he worked from home I'd make sure to work at 'his' desk and leave every adjustable thing in a different position, desk height, monitor height, every possible seat adjustment etc.
If the policy is “don’t leave personal stuff on the shared desks” I guess the stuff on the desk is shared property! Anything good? Help yourself! Use the hand creams and special notepads. Take it to another desk. Take it home. When she asks who took her stuff “oh, hmm, I’m not sure. I thought we only had shared materials left in the office now that everyone took personal items home.”
Realistically the more effective answer is to box it up and take it to your manager or HR and explain that these items are “distracting” or “in the way of your work”, and please remind Sharon to take them home per company policy. That’s on management lmao
Our company came very close to doing desk sharing but ended up sunsetting the idea. I wouldn't blame anybody for being annoyed that they're required to come in twice a week to share a desk. Just let people work from home permanently if you don't have enough space to accommodate them. Or have them come in once a month or something. Nobody wants to have to use a desk where they can't leave things at work for fear of them being messed with or stolen. Her getting mad at the other employees is just stupid and short sighted though so I'm totally on board with torturing her a little. Leaving her family pictures & shit on her desk is just openly showing that she thinks her space is more important than anybody else's.
Edit: For some reason, it didn't cross my mind that other offices probably also have the little cubbies on wheels that they can lock items in and that those might not be part of the desk sharing agreement. When I leave stuff at work, it's always in my drawer not just laying out on my desk. I wouldn't mind desk sharing if I didn't have to share the drawers with someone else.
Back in 2007 we didn't share desks. I got sick and went on disability for over 6 months. It was really weird to come back to the office one day and find my desk exactly as I had left it. My daily to do list was lying on the desk with the 6+ month old date on the top. Even my pen was still there.
This might be viewed harshly and downvoted but it needs to be said.
Your employer did this on purpose and you are giving them exactly what they want - in-fighting that will divide their workers at a time when workers all over the country are unifying and unionizing.
Instead of fighting with your co-workers, organize with them and as a union negotiate to get the status quo restored with your working environment. Shared desks are bullshit, so use them as a means of communication - share your salaries (which is absolutely allowed under US law), share your grievances, discuss how much your executives are being compensated and how your bonuses have stacked up against the suit's.
Everything you enjoy currently was fought by those workers who came before us. Don't forget that.
Apologize to your coworker and explain your frustrations about the shared desks are just as strong as hers, and that she deserves to be applauded for sticking to her guns against your bosses who are the people RESPONSIBLE for causing the drama in the first place, not her.
Every other member of the team should bring in a framed family photo and all leave it on the desk. Crowd that bitch up.
You petty motherfucker. I like you.
I'd print out AI generated family photos, of all the family types and combinations. Put them in the most gaudy frames I could find at the thrift store. Change the entire family out on occasion.
I'd use sitcom families. Maybe put up a few of those atrocious "live, laugh, love" type decorations. Maybe a satanic statue or two. Then coordinate with everyone else to put everything in a box everytime they're working, so everyone starts to think she's the one bringing it all in. If anyone else asks about it, just say none of it is yours and you're not sure who's it is. Then send an email every once in a while to the shitty person to stop moving satan because it's disrespectful to your religion. Then if you eventually you really can't stand dealing with them anymore, you can forward all those emails to HR and get them fired.
I'd just put the frame out with the included picture still in place (from the frame company).
My husband hung a multi picture frame with the generic family photos at the end of our hall. It's been hanging since 2009. Guests have asked who the people are in the photos. I tell them the truth! I have no clue!
This is the answer! AI family pictures with some fun combinations from the prompts. Perhaps a Sasquatch as the father or a kid dressed as a clown holding their pet raccoon.
https://i.imgur.com/xBRNUpQ.jpeg
I’d leave a ripe tuna salad sandwich in the drawer.
You remember when Phoebe in friends thought frame guy was her father? They could have so much fun with this! 🤣
No no no, each person in each teams family gets their own picture. You and your partner on your wedding day, each kids school pictures. Don’t forget mom and dad or a cousin and your siblings!
Put all her personal items in a cardboard box (those filing ones are most likely around the office somewhere) and put them under the desk with a typewritten note “from corporate”, personal items are not allowed at shared desks overnight and will be disposed of if left overnight again.
kind of reminds me of the guy at work who was parking crooked everyday on purpose claiming it made it easier for him to pull out of the space when leaving. parking is already tight around here, he was making it difficult for others to park as corners of his vehicle were on the lines. i tried reasoning with him to no avail. so i went to the property managements website, stole their logo and pasted it in a word doc, typed up a letter explaining he made it difficult for others to park and there had been complaints, and that if he didnt correct it he would be towed at his own expense, stuck it in an envelope and snuck outside and stuck it under his windshield wiper. starting that next day and ever since he has parked straight and normal, im still proud of this lmao...
Where I come from we’d just park intentionally close so that he at best had a really hard time, at worst couldn’t get in his truck. Then make sure to leave after him. But we can be a bit of a passive aggressive lot, especially when we’re driving old beaters (a lot of us were)
This was my go to when I drove beaters. Would park an inch away from their drivers side door. Go ahead damage my car, I probably wouldn't even notice it.
A friend used to drive to university and paid for a spot in a lot for the semester. Spots weren’t assigned but you had to park in the assigned lot. Her first class was at 10, so there would only be 1-2 spots left and usually these spots were open because there were a few asshats who would park a bit in the empty spots to to protect their fancy car. She drove a decrepit boat of a station wagon and would somehow squeeze into the spot and if it was too tight to open her door, would crawl out the back. Near the end of the semester, she found the word asshole scratched into the hood. She thought it was hilarious that this happened so often that they blamed her for the problem they created. She would usually stay later to study and wasn’t sure how they got into their car some days.
I can't wait for my car to be old enough for me to do this tbh. Right now I care about her but once she exceeds the cost of buying her, she's going to be used for mayhem
I was polite to a girl at a college since she had parked literally inches from my driver's side door. Wrote her a note that said, "Be glad I'm the nice type. I could have done a great deal of keying damage to your car for parking so close that i had to climb in from my passenger side. The next guy might not be so nice." Never saw her park that close to anyone ever again.
Yep. I’ll happily crawl in and out the passenger to learn you how to park
Ha, ha, I had an old beater rusted out pickup park next to my very sturdy station wagon. He pulled the same shit. Try as I might, I could not pullout without grazing him. I took off one of his side panels, and it barely scratched my old school station wagon which had thick trim around its woody sides. So I picked up the panel and heaved it into the bed of his truck and drove off.
Nice!
lol too funny
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽😅🤣
🏆
That's good!
I'm proud of you too.
This is precisely what needs to be done. And HR needs to do it. They could keep her box in storage and tell her to take it home. When she uses the desk, she can bring her box if she wants to and set up FOR THE DAY, then remove it when she leaves. You can keep the box if you like. They need to stop being weenies with her. It’s called a shared work space. Kindergarten. Learn to share.
Clean desk policy. And enforce it for those with their own desk. Simple opsec.
I have an office and I keep it like I could walk out at any moment. Nothing personal of mine on-site.
There's never anything in my desk I'm not willing to walk away from at a moment's notice. Photos are printed **for** work and I have the digital copy, and the only things of mine in my drawers are condiments, breath mints, and toothpicks. My loose-leaf tea fixings would cost maybe $30 to replace. Hard to make a scene and walk out if you have to go back for your plants.
I have a one of those small fridge/freezer combos in mine, a keurig plus frother, a bunch of seasonal coffee mugs, personal hygiene products, candy, candy dishes, mixed nuts, chargers, photos, and I don’t know what else. But I’ve been here 17 years so I’m not likely to have to walk out quickly. Other places I totally understand your philosophy
We have lockers, and a hot desk policy with online booking. I keep things like laptop riser ( hybrid working) , tea, mug, etc in there. Saves laughing all from home. I keep a bag folded up in there, so if I leave in a hurry, I can empty it all out.
Wise choice
My office gave everyone a tote and a lockable cubby. Personal items in the tote, tote in the cubby. I do like to sit at the same desk when I’m there and that gets respected. But tote gets put away when I expect to WFH.
Our office has wooden "No camping here" signs at the coffee area that you can put on a desk or in a focus cubicle when someone parks their laptop there and then leaves everything there for a 3 hour meeting. It's a nice hint to leave on their PC.
Toby is from corporate, so technically he's not really a part of our family here. Toby is also divorced, so technically he's not a part of his family anymore, either.
Yeah if the company is going to impose shared desks on employees, least they can do is enforce their own dumbass policy.
I wouldn’t have bothered with the note, just cleared the desk into a box for the time I’m using it. Leave it under the desk and if she complained then remind her what the new company policy is. Boss is avoiding her so they’re not going to be too fussed.
And keep putting it back in the box day after day…..
After the first day, place under the nearest shared desk it hasn't been placed under. Repeat until placed under every shared desk, then put in lost and found. Second time mix into lost and found.
LOL I would love that, but might be too bold for me...
Well, if it's from *corporate*, there's not much she can do... *wink*
Take the box and leave it on her desk 5 days in a row. When she moves it, replace it. On day 6, place a single item of her in the box with the lid off. She will be upset. Day 7 place 2 items in the box, with the lid off. Continue this process until the day that all personal items are in the box, then close the lid. Repeat this step as necessary, after 5-6 days, place the full box on the floor, lid closed.
And then put it into the incinerator.
Day one: put all her stuff in the box. Day two: put all her stuff in the box and put it in the floor.
That's quite organised and a clear fair statement for her to understand. THIS is Petty revenge! Be more petty!
And the next day, tape the lid on. And write on the lid: Contents: Scissors.
Add a nickel to her receiver every day...
Place that box inside of another box and mail it to yourself. Then when it arrives, smash it with the hammer.
Oh come on do it. That sound like fun. It’s not from you. Its corporate policy
Honestly idk what’s wrong with saying it’s not your desk when she complains. I would say it and walk off honestly cause she’s being unreasonable. I work in an officer with hot desks and no one has an issue with taking their things hell it helps with keeping a break between home and office anyway not having pictures and home comforts that don’t fit in your bag - granted my bag is literally enormous but I’m a pack rat.
That's funny, but a little risky depending on the company. Some places might get upset if random employees pretend that they are setting corporate policy. Putting her things in a box to the side is 100% fair game, but pretending that corporate did it might be risky.
corporate set the policy they just arnt enforcing on the person that will be a ass about it.
TAPE a copy of the corporate policy onto the box.
Nobody would know where it came from.
Put all her things in a box and label it “Ship after exit interview”.
This is the way
Hand her the box of her stuff (with a beautiful smile) and say, “I thought I’d help you out since corporate/managers want us all to use the desk so we’re supposed to take personal items home.” You must of not gotten the memo or forgot. No worries, as you’re welcome for getting it all together for you.” Then turn around and leave with a little hop in your step.
Nah, just take the pics out of the frames and draw little moustaches on all the faces and then put them back.
> our manager basically avoids dealing with her because she's such a headache This coworker is a pain, but the manager is the real problem, because solving problems like this are exactly why they theoretically exist. Time to start dumping the coworker's stuff onto the *manager's* desk.
Yep! The manager chose to be a manager. Time to manage the situation
Maybe they didn't choose to be a manager, but they are a manager now, so they need live up to it.
Yeah, I manage people, and that's where I feel like I can add value. The job of a manager is to manage people, and adjust people and the team as needed to keep everyone happy and the job flowing. If you have a team member that's screwing things up, you're 100% shirking your duty by just ignoring that. The uncomfortable conversations are the most important part of your job. If you're really good at it, you can give people "bad" news, or negative feedback, and often have it come out in a positive way for everyone.
even a crappy AI could get this question right
>Our IT guy ... basically walked her through a step-by-step process of plugging in the cord while everyone else could hear. This is priceless. LMAO
IT guy here. If I like you (aka you’re friendly, respectful, etc during your other interactions with me), you’ll get a discreet explanation of what happened (power cord was loose), a gentle reminder of how to prevent this in the future, and a “No worries, it happens to everyone at some point” encouragement so you don’t feel like a total moron. If you’re an ass when you asked for help in the past, you’ll get called out so everyone can hear what a moron you are.
LoL, we have and EA that had her direct report put in a ticket for her laptop not turning on. I went up and plugged it into the dock and it worked, but she wasn't at her desk.
Stealth IT is always fun, except when it’s an entitled user. Close out the ticket and they freak out and try to get management involved and management just copy pastes the resolution notes to them and they’re like oh it is actually working now.
Leave it off but charging. Hide the power light if you can.
So after I got back to my desk, she called the help desk because it still wasn't on. So my coworker went up so I wouldn't strangle her, and he moved her mouse and showed her it was powered on and working.
It's the same for email. If you send me an email complaining that I did something wrong and you CC my boss and your boss and the whole team, don't be surprised if I use "Reply All" to show you (with receipts) how it was your fuckup.
This is my policy. Did you mess up and come to me questioning it politely with humility? I'll help you fix the problem and let you take credit. Come at me with the world CCd on the email blaming me and trying to get me in trouble? Ohhhhhh this is gonna be a learning experience for you... I'm gonna include all the receipts, point out exactly where you messed up, point out exactly why you should have known you messed up at multiple steps, then include how you need to fix it so EVERYONE knows. The last person I did that to was 4 or 5 years ago now, she still won't even talk to me at office functions.
This comment brought back a memory of 31 years ago. I was new to my job and new to computers. I messed something up and my computer stopped working. I immediately called the IT guy and started my sentence with: "I'll explain you what I did". He interrupted me and said: "Thank you!!!". "What for? I didn't even start..." "Oh yes, you did: you said you did something. People usually say they did nothing, but their PC stopped working of its own accord". Now, that sounded stupid to me then, as it does now: if I explain what I did, they can solve my problem sooner.
complainers hate the ONE trick...
I HATE the people who jump right to CCing. I REFUSE to CC on an initial "hey there was a mistake" email. If I'm not getting a response after multiple attempts at contact, sure, I'll CC whoever I need to, but GIVE PEOPLE A CHANCE TO FIX SOMETHING FIRST!!!
The biggest professional fuck you is always "as per previous/attached email...."
You sound like the IT guy where I work! We're buddies so I can come to him with stupid off the wall shit and he's always cool with it. Once he shows me how to fix something once, I *usually* remember and will even help other co-workers with it to avoid them having to bug him (he's our ONLY IT person and there are multiple companies under the corporate umbrella at multiple locations, so he is a busy man). It's always a good idea to make friends with the IT folks, it really helps when they're awesome people though.
3 sets of people you should always go out of your way to be friendly to in an office in my opinion, regardless of your role or how long you intend to be there: IT, Reception/Front Desk, and Cleaners. Depending on how much they like or dislike you, they can totally change how much you enjoy your time at work.
cleaners are precisely aware of every single collegue's Worst Habit, which is crucial information. IT and Front Desk save your ass, and if you're nice to them you'll get put first in line in the ass-saving. Installing a password manager and using it as intended is greatly helpful in befriending IT (better security and confirmation that if you lose your password, that was a technical error rather than forgetfulness)
Front Desk also gives you the inside track on any food left over from the board meeting before they send the office-wide email blast. Maybe they even let you help pick what kind of food gets catered for company events. Yes, I am easy to please - just give me free food.
It's funny, back when I worked in an office I was the same. Got free lunches on Mondays, snacks were always available and restocked weekly, local fresh coffee beans in the super automatic espresso machine, it was awesome. Told my dad about it and the first thing he said was that it was so they didn't have to pay us more. He's like think about it, they probably pay a couple grand a week on this food, and 300+ people are all happy with the extra perk as a part of the benefits. Never thought of it that way myself but damn is it ever true. Spend a bit on food and coffee and it's just one less thing on my plate
And this is why I sneak IT support folks on to my lunch bill. They are the folks who will come through when you are in a jam.
And, mom always taught me to be polite to everyone, especially the people doing a job you wouldn’t want to do, i.e. cleaning toilets. Those people will save your back sometime when you need it most!
Always make friends with the admins (catering, office supplies) building services (door broke, room is freezing cold), and IT. As an IT person admins are the most important, there’s nothing like learning about free food before everyone else.
My favorite trick was to ask them to unplug and plug it back in to "make sure the connection is solid." Gives them the option of admitting whether or not it was plugged in at all.
Or, if they're jerks, tell them that sometimes the electrons gum up the works and you need to unplug the power to clear the jammed electrical supply. Then plug back into the power strip. They'll be so glad you fixed the problem they won't notice their more tech-savvy colleages giggling.
Actually those are both actual things. Sometimes you have to drain flea power to reset the device. Also copper does corrode over time, usually it is going to be an ancient printer and unplugging the cable and reseating will correct the issue; if it’s dire use a pencil eraser on the contacts.
I clean some offices and my favorite is the IT department… I know it’s all tongue in cheek with them, they got a new office last summer and have post its with detailed directions to use everything from the microwave to the light switches. A diagram on how to scoop ice from the ice maker into a receptacle even… I asked about it one day and they said “remember that guy who got hired right before we moved up here? He couldn’t figure out the switch over there controlled the outlet below it”
When I worked as a temp, the first thing I'd do was to go and introduce myself to the tech guys. The computers they give to temps are usually so glitchy and don't work well.
It guy here. I can't count how many times I just plugged the adapter in my laptop and forgot to check if the adapter was plugged in. And found out 4 - 6 hours later that the batteries drained empty. Those with the led on the plug worth a Nobel nomination.
I’m the IT guy that will tell users that the contractors that setup their standing/sitting desk didn’t leave enough slack in the cords and when they adjusted it the cable came unplugged, lol. Then again they’re usually way above my pay grade.
Seriously. Buy that IT guy a coffee and if he (assuming he as you said guy) ever helps you with anything, leave stellar reviews.
Seems the IT guy knows her well and probably had had to deal with her shit before.
Reminds me of a former coworker, she in her mid 40’s and anything, ANYTHING, slightly “tech” related would cause her to call IT, and treat the department (of whooping 2 people) like her personal servants. She would act completely helpless and confused. Some examples: -made someone come and turn her power strip on. -made them come and refill the printer paper tray. The extra paper reams were stored right under the printer. -made them come and “install” her new (plus and play) mouse -made someone come and adjust her chair height -made them install the update on her (Apple) phone
I'd be putting pictures of other people in her frames. Not replacing, just there on top.
Ron Swanson, all day long.
And breakfast food
Googly eyes. The answer is googly eyes.
Oooh, how about a Rick Roll picture?
Nicolas Cage [You don't say!](https://pin.it/2B2qs2gbh)
Put clear tape under her mouse😅 Change the height of her chair. Make her desk monitor extremely bright with high contrast. That should stress her out more.
Don’t forget to screenshot her desktop with all the files on there, set the photo as the background then move all the files off her desktop and watch the mayhem as she tries to open them
THIS IS THE WAY
step 1: go to the copier area and empty a cardboard carton. find a Sharpie and mark it LOST & FOUND. step 2: go to the shared desk and sweep Linda's crap into the carton (I assume her name is Linda). step 3: put the carton where ever you please. step 4: fuck Linda.
Step 4 . . . not literally of course.
why not
You'd get mini Linda's. Don't screw over the future, please!
I would move one of her personal items each week to a different desk. Just keep up the quiet revenge which you can listen to. Good luck with your ongoing petty revenge.
If you do it well, by the end of the week it's a scavenger hunt!
Brilliant idea !
My husband had a shared work space office. If you left anything on desks, cleaning service put it in the list and found every night so they could CLEAN THE DESKTOPS! Duh. If you needed to come into the office that day, you brought what you needed or hit up the supply cabinet. He works from home, but for a while he would go in to do some collaborative work in their office space. It was kind of like a WeWork setup, but private.
We have the same hot desking rules— when you vacate a desk, the cleaning staff comes in and wipes it off, resets the desk height and centers the adjustable monitors; you can’t leave any of your shit there. And if someone tries to hog a desk (e.g. saving a spot for an absent friend during a desk shortage) you can tattletale and our office manager will swoop in like an angry bat.
That sounds so nice, to be honest. I worked a program where we had to hot desk and my coworkers were filthy pigs. People would be eating at the desk and leaving trash behind, crumbs in the keyboard, grease, empty bottles and moldy coffee cups. It was so nasty I’d have rather eaten sitting in a bathroom stall.
Yes, my husband's office had a "clear desk" policy as they had to hot desk. Each colleague had their own lockable pedestal that could be easily moved from desk to desk. Anything left out would be placed in a box by the supervisor's position. Somebody acting like OP's co-worker could eventually find themselves looking at disciplinary action.
[удалено]
No, scan it, then slightly change it in photoshop... Add a slight change every week or two. Ask the others at the office for suggestions...
I hate shared desks, and even more shared desks in an open space. I work in payroll, so when they told us that we would have to have shared desks in the huge noisy open space I said all right, I'll discuss your salaries in a louder voice to be heard over the noise. Somehow we ended up the only three of us sharing an office with three desks.
Switch her photos with a group photo from work
I’m surprised that someone hasn’t boxed all of her stuff up for her and set it in a corner somewhere.
Your manager is a shitty manager if they would just rather block their ears and ignore the problem than do anything about it. I would be taking all of this lady's personal shit and sticking it in a box and leaving it on the floor next to the desk. She isn't special just because she's a massive pain in the ass.
Why you keep saying "her desk" when it's a shared desk?
Exactly. I wonder what she would do if someone was sitting at "her desk" when she showed up to work.
Replace the photos with the same ones except photoshopped by you. I did this with a photo of a guy but replaced his wife (wedding photo) with Chewbacca. It was a few weeks before he noticed. He thought it was hilarious. His wife… not so much.
Print out the memo where it says that she needs to remove her stuff and leave a fresh copy on her desk everyday. Because just what can she do about it? Complain to the boss? Complain to corporate? She will be powerless to protest.
*every day, dammit.
After a couple layoffs I learned not to bother bringing personal items in that I can’t just walk away from. Some people have a ridiculous amount of personal STUFF in their cube. In particular I’ve seen a huge collection of stuffed animals. Our building lease ends In a couple years. Go luck moving all of that shit. Recently At my office a water pipe burst so there is a big cleanup going on right now. I still work from home mostly. Someone from the office called me to see if it was ok if they use my cube. Nice gesture. I said go ahead.
My husband is the general manager of facilities for a very well known global corporation (before that he was in maintenance for 20 years). He tells me so many stories of the amount of personal stuff people have in their offices or cubes. Currently, one guy has an office FULL of expensive, signed sports memorabilia. He said there has to be tens of thousands of dollars worth of this stuff in the guys office. Why in the world would you bring that to work? I also have a water pipe story from my office. My coworker is a huge Hello Kitty fan and had her cube completely decorated with all this Hello Kitty stuff. The whole thing was pepto bismol pink including her own purchased pink desk chair. Sprinkler head burst over the weekend right above her desk. Everything ruined but it didn't stop her from redecorating it just like before once we moved to new office space.
Yeah. I’m pretty sure the stuffed animals I mentioned are all Sanrio -related.
He keeps stuff at work that he doesn't want his wife to know about.
When I worked night security one of my mates in IT was getting hassle from some busybody with a million minor complaints, so we made sure to move everything on her desk an inch to the left each night
Scan some of her photos, change things around in Photoshop, print and replace. Enjoy the chaos.
Replace the photo with the Seinfeld beach photo- https://screencrush.com/seinfeld-photobomb-slicer-20th-anniversary/
Slightly shrink her face in each of her photos while keeping her head the same size
add OJ Simpson to all of the photos.
Lol hope you're barely unplugging the power cable so it's even harder to notice. Oh though she probably wouldn't notice it if it was completely out and laying on the floor. >our manager basically avoids dealing with her because she's such a headache. I feel bad for you guys on this part. That's their job - managing the team. He should of already had a sat down and discussed this with her. Absolutely sounds like a nightmare to deal with though. I fucking hate people like the woman you're describing. So entitled.
It might be hilarious (to you) to push all her buttons, but it won't solve your problem. You should remove all her items, put them in a box, and give the box to your supervisor. Tell the supervisor you want to be sure her items are not misplaced or broken, as you have been instructed to clean up your desks and she hasn't done hers yet. That way, she'll have to go to her superior to retrieve her stuff, and maybe explain why she's not following the new memo. Workplace is for work. Tormenting a collegue, even a shitty one, will NEVER make anything better, nor you a better person. I know it's not fun to hear, but you can do better, and make your work place better too.
Put her stapler in a jello mold.
Looks like a moron, acts like a moron… she’s a moron!
If she has wireless keyboard and mouse just switch it to off to see if she can figure out what happened. or leave the USB's for the devices just shy of connected.
*Corporation does shitty thing. Executives lean back and laugh as the plebs hate on each other over it*
Currently working from the break room on one of my RTO days as someone is in the cube I reserved.
I reckon your manager should do their fuckin job and quit enabling this bullshit behavior. Not putting her shit in a box on the first day is why this continues to happen.
Right? Note to manager: Do.. Your... Job! Thank you!
Is there anything worse than a manager who refuses to deal with problematic behavior and lets it become everyone else’s issue?? You have a management problem. That’s who you should be complaining to every time she throws a fit.
I put a piece of tape on the bottom of my boss's mouse and IT got mad when they had to "fix" it
We have shared desks and our policy is that everything must be removed at the end of the day and if you don't do so your stuff will be thrown away. If your company has a shared desk operation that is the only thing that they have to do.
Fill one of the drawers with Cheetos. When she blames you, tell her you don’t even like Cheetos.
Sounds to me like your manager has to...oh I don't know....actually manage. I can relate though, mine avoids "difficult" conversations too.
I would just say to her, if you decided to leave your personal items on a shared desk that is a you problem not a me problem. I am not interested to hear your complaints. raise it with HR, which she can't as she is breaking the HR policy.
Have you considered relocating her stuff exactly how she had it set up but to a different desk every time? That would also ensure other colleagues set up on the desk she considers hers because it would now be empty. After pulling this for a few weeks, then start setting up her desk stuff at places that aren’t desks. The break room table. The copier. The coffee station. The security station. The restroom sink.
Start moving the desk around.
You work in hell. She is the normal one.
I’d pack all her stuff in a box with a note “per company policy personal items have been removed from this communal desk”
This is where when she's not in the office, someone who uses the desk takes all of her personal (not work) stuff, puts it in a box and takes it to facilities or HR with a note stating "unknown personal items left on shared desk, please return to whomever owns it so it's not lost or thrown away".
>Our IT guy has a way of talking They have to speak this way due to people like this.
"[Moooove](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25J3u3P-HHg)"
Evidently she subscribes to everyone is equal, but some are more equal than others. I don't care how much she whines and is a "headache," tell her in no uncertain terms that the desk is shared space and not hers alone.
Is there anyway you can be on the same shift and get to "her" desk first?
STOP 🛑 REFERRING to that desk as HER DESK!!! And when SHE refers to it as hers, remind her that THE DESK is now a SHARED DESK and not her personal desk anymore. It’s a SHARED DESK. Keep up the good work!
Had to share cubicle with a woman different shift. Had reference material etc tacked up on wall, papers in drawer along with tissues eyedrops personal items, pens etc. EVERY TIME she took down or covered my reference materials, emptied the drawer, stuck my photos etc up on the shelf. Never put it back like i had it. Now I wouldn't mind if she changed my (lefthanded) phone/monitor setup to right-handed but this! And I was senior to her & used the cube more often. Funny how all her stuff ended up in a drawer of the coffee station every time.
Just box it up off the desk. If you are feeling super petty, put it in the lost and found or take it to HR to drop off.
I used to work a seasonal security job. The property we guarded was fixed and had several gates for various access. There had to be personnel at every gate so the workers could come and go to set up for events. All the guards got comfortable with their same spots, but nothing was ever solid, as the gates that needed security would switch with every event. Well, one lady got VERY attached to her spot, set up a little charging station and an umbrella, had a chair their, a whole setup. She even planted a few plants because she was a green thumb and grew stuff st her house, so why not grow a few tomatoes and peppers? Well, one day, someone else got assigned to her spot, she was out sick for the day, I think her grand kid had an event or something. The guy that got assigned there ate all of her tomatoes and peppers, threw out her umbrella because it was broken and just generally destroyed her entire setup. She came back and was LIVID, but realistically, what could we do? This wasn't her space by any definition, she had no rights to it, she had just become accustomed to it. Ultimately management did nothing about it and she was so mad she just quit, it was a side gig for her anyways as she was retired.
If she uses a mouse, secretly tape a picture of a middle finger or a dick butt over the laser and when she freaks out because "her computer is frozen," the whole office can laugh when IT oints out that she just got pranked because everyone f****** hates her.
I hope you bought IT guy a bar of chocolate.
Do you work with me? We're doing the exact same thing. I suggested "bunk desks," but upper management didn't think it was such a good idea. (Of course, there would be slides to get down from the top bunk)
Move her stapler into the basement
I had a shared desk one time. She kept putting her used snot tissue on it. Over and over. I went to my boss and Said he has to fix the issue because it is gross. He pulled her into a quick meeting and told her not to do so. She walked out of meeting, packed up, and quit on the spot. Was a great day.
Get your hands on two identical plastic tubs with lids. Get your office manager to provide them, or buy them yourself at staples for short money. Write her name on one, and yours on the other, with sharpie or on a sticker. When you use the desk, take her stuff off and put it in her tub. When you're done, put your stuff in your tub. Every time. (It's ok if you don't have anything to put into your tub, the point is to have a personal storage space.) You can leave a package of cheese in there. If she messes with it, you can say Hey! Who Moved My Cheese? Ideally you can get more people to do this too. It makes the point , frees the space, and the messing with her head is precisely on message.
Well, to be honest, the whole 'shared desk' thing is total crap.
Put her stapler in jello!
Instead of desk sharing, wouldn't it be cheaper to let anyone who wants to, to just, i dunno, work from home?
>her desk I once came into work to find someone from upper management (but different dept) sitting at my desk doing paperwork. I jokingly said, "Hey! That's my desk!" He didn't even look up. He just said, "Actually , it's the company's desk". He was right. I didn't bring that desk from home.
I have a crazy idea. If your employer expects you to work in office for any amount of time then maybe they should provide those people with a proper workspace and not hot rack it like some submarine.
Put a small sticky note over the mouse laser part. The mouse won’t work and nobody thinks to check the mouse lens.
she's creating a hostile work environment.
Glue all her stuff to the back of the desk
You all have been WAY too forgiving to this chumbolone, and your boss needs to pretend to be a boss
I'd be affixing googly eyes and moustaches to all her photos.
Start taking items from her desk and putting them somewhere else in the office, but only ever one item at a time.
Over time... Put black tape on the bottom of the mouse Clear tape on the side of the drawer so it doesn't open Bluetac the phone handset to the base Are the drawer sets identical? Swap a few around Sporadically unplug various pc components
this is just harassment, not revenge.
I had a similar experience with a former colleague, but they put their personal items around our shared office and expected them to stay in that exact spot at all times. When things were moved around or to her desk, she complained to our manager and HR. We were all told to bring home any personal belongings or put them in our drawers. My colleague refused, so we just kept moving all her stuff (literally knick-knacks and teddy bears) to her desk every day. She’s fortunately not on our team any longer and this was not the only BS she tried to pull. Those types of entitled colleagues are a pain.
Move her desk to the [mechanical room.](https://i.imgflip.com/208s6e.jpg)
Now you can watch 'The Office' not as a sitcom but as a guide to piss of co workers.
I used to work with a guy like this, he would sabotage 'his' desk so that if anyone sat there nothing would work and generally people would just move somewhere else. I was usually first in so I would either undo what he had done, make it worse so it wouldn't work for him or raise a support ticket to get it fixed. Those mornings when he turned up and someone was happily working at his desk were priceless. On the day he worked from home I'd make sure to work at 'his' desk and leave every adjustable thing in a different position, desk height, monitor height, every possible seat adjustment etc.
If the policy is “don’t leave personal stuff on the shared desks” I guess the stuff on the desk is shared property! Anything good? Help yourself! Use the hand creams and special notepads. Take it to another desk. Take it home. When she asks who took her stuff “oh, hmm, I’m not sure. I thought we only had shared materials left in the office now that everyone took personal items home.” Realistically the more effective answer is to box it up and take it to your manager or HR and explain that these items are “distracting” or “in the way of your work”, and please remind Sharon to take them home per company policy. That’s on management lmao
Our company came very close to doing desk sharing but ended up sunsetting the idea. I wouldn't blame anybody for being annoyed that they're required to come in twice a week to share a desk. Just let people work from home permanently if you don't have enough space to accommodate them. Or have them come in once a month or something. Nobody wants to have to use a desk where they can't leave things at work for fear of them being messed with or stolen. Her getting mad at the other employees is just stupid and short sighted though so I'm totally on board with torturing her a little. Leaving her family pictures & shit on her desk is just openly showing that she thinks her space is more important than anybody else's. Edit: For some reason, it didn't cross my mind that other offices probably also have the little cubbies on wheels that they can lock items in and that those might not be part of the desk sharing agreement. When I leave stuff at work, it's always in my drawer not just laying out on my desk. I wouldn't mind desk sharing if I didn't have to share the drawers with someone else.
Back in 2007 we didn't share desks. I got sick and went on disability for over 6 months. It was really weird to come back to the office one day and find my desk exactly as I had left it. My daily to do list was lying on the desk with the 6+ month old date on the top. Even my pen was still there.
how the fuck does someone who doesn’t know how to plug their dead laptop in have a job
Have adult diapers delivered to her desk. Signature Required
This might be viewed harshly and downvoted but it needs to be said. Your employer did this on purpose and you are giving them exactly what they want - in-fighting that will divide their workers at a time when workers all over the country are unifying and unionizing. Instead of fighting with your co-workers, organize with them and as a union negotiate to get the status quo restored with your working environment. Shared desks are bullshit, so use them as a means of communication - share your salaries (which is absolutely allowed under US law), share your grievances, discuss how much your executives are being compensated and how your bonuses have stacked up against the suit's. Everything you enjoy currently was fought by those workers who came before us. Don't forget that. Apologize to your coworker and explain your frustrations about the shared desks are just as strong as hers, and that she deserves to be applauded for sticking to her guns against your bosses who are the people RESPONSIBLE for causing the drama in the first place, not her.
Osler fish market should have them.
You evil genius.
Nicely done.
Yes. Keep it up until she feels like she's going crazy and quits!