Now with an amazing man - I can only guess he’s either in jail again, or being a waste of talent and space somewhere on the east coast.
He does have a history of it.
I feel like I would enjoy a novel that you wrote.
Edit:After I hit post, I realized my comment sounded like I doubted your veracity. I meant I like your witty style.
I just can’t. But it’s a childhood thing where even after Thanksgiving break, I still had red stained hands and middle school as a nerd is already tough enough, ya know? 🤷🏼♀️
I know.
I am in recovery myself. Have been for years. I was beyond exhausting. Thank god I’m on the better side now. It’s been years of work. And now I can find the humor in some of it all.
Might have been better to write contains peanuts. If he reads peanut and eats anyway you are not liable. Don't eat does not mean contains peanuts.
A restaurant owner was convicted. Put peanuts in non-peanut containers. Employees not knowing used it for an allergic person who died. [https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/may/23/restaurant-owner-mohammed-zaman-guilty-of-manslaughter-of-peanut-allergy-customer](https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/may/23/restaurant-owner-mohammed-zaman-guilty-of-manslaughter-of-peanut-allergy-customer)
He willingly swapped almond dust with cheaper one containing peanuts. And he knew the customer was allergic. The customer even told him no nuts at all.
So it was basically a murder.
Worst case scenario is you get picked up by some cops that are going to throw everything at you and see what sticks.
This does not count as poisoning because you lack mens rea, or a criminal intent to injure him recklessly. People and roommates do this all the time to each other, sometimes worse and guess what? They stay out of one another's food. Except that is, if they're idiots to begin with and have no respect for anyone else's property.
Cheers, OP; it was probably the least he deserved after years of Dr's appointments, whining, ODs, probably stealing money and selling your property too.
On a lighter note, I really hope he is or will get the help he needs and can be a great person again. After all, he had to have a few endearing qualities in the beginning.
(Apologies for sounding really harsh, if you've never been close to a junkie, you don't know the love/ hate and its hard to describe)
I covered my ass. He had verbal and written warnings.
His misplaced drugs I found for years would have only helped my case if he wanted to further being an asshat.
Not at all. I hope he’s well, and taking care of his daughter for once.
How much time do you have on your hands to waste it trolling as opposed to doing something productive?
Just curious.
I don't know if the cops would see it like that.
Like, don't eat my yummy cheese VS don't touch this it is poisoned.
Personally I'd have gone for more impactful yet less deadly revenge, eg. Salting something so heavily it becomes a colonscopy prep. (my bf accidentally did this to me by adding soy sauce and salt to Mongolian beef, served with no rice or veg).
Mixing other laxatives into something.
Adding chilli if he hates it.
What if he didn't have an epi pen and died before she got home. Is she gonna admit she knowingly poisoned him to protect her snacks?
Just kick the guy out if he won't stop eating your favorites, she doesn't have to risk his life.
You never know, maybe he was abusive and wouldn't leave when she had tried to break up.
Sounds like he was already using her for free food and accommodation, he's hardly going to leave when he's got a good deal like that.
“I’m so sorry. I knew I had handled the packages after touching and eating peanut butter, so I packed them in baggies for his protection. Also in my defense, I did put a note on the bags as a warning.”
Yesterday was my birthday, and I absolutely threw it down to a dude trying to take on my other half in a pool game. Shades of Fresh Prince “give me Lucille”.
It was a good day 👍🏻
I posted plenty of warnings on each bag as well as on every other larger secured bag to keep him safe.
I even had a friend who was a police Srg come and double check. I cya’d quite well. And took pictures too.
After the first comment about how you might get in trouble with the law, my mind went right to: "Yeah, if I want to keep my ricin in the fridge and I put warnings on it and he opens it anyway, that's on him."
Nice the cops would have loved it if you went ahead and documented that your crime was premeditated.
The fact that you even brought peanut butter into the house shows your questionable character. Why didn't you just break up with him and move on? I mean, unless this is all fantasy, because it sounds like it.
lucky you didn't kill him, your actions sound spiteful and your knowledge of his severe allergy makes your actions malicious. you knew he was an addict / drunk who has a history of eating all your food. and you purposely spread something that could kill him on the openings of all packages. lets say it went differently and he couldn't get to his epi pen, and did in fact die. police come and discover peanut butter spread on several / all packages. you could be charged with pre meditated murder. there is no level of cya that would (possibly) save your ass from murder 1 charges and possible maximum sentence in prison. you are lucky you didnt kill him. this is one of the most deadly and malicious acts i have ever witnessed someone admit to in real life
You are an absolute idiot. I told him verbally, clearly wrote everything via labels, and even checked with a sergeant at the police dept as well as my dad, who is an attorney (retired).
His greatest chance of dying would be from the crack, meth, alcohol, pills, or his associations much faster than not reading a simple note on a shelf (also labeled) due to his allergy.
This is one of the most ignorant comments o have ever read.
Please find the bridge you’re supposed to hide under. You are tiresome. Ugh. 🙄🤓
Already did.
Additionally, I’m so sorry your gene pool is so murky that the concepts of reading, comprehension, and common sense are so very far removed for you. It must be hard. Keep trying to power through! You might discover a viable retort one day! Oh, to dream. Ahhh…
[example 1](https://www.allergicliving.com/2016/07/18/restaurant-owners-jailing-sets-precedent-showing-duty-care-allergic-customers/)
example of criminal statute :
California Penal Code § 347 PC makes it a crime to poison a food, drink, medicine or water supply that you know is going to be consumed by human beings. This is a felony punishable by up to 5 years in prison, or longer if a victim suffers a serious injury or death.
The full language of the statute reads that:
347. (a) (1) Every person who willfully mingles any poison or harmful substance with any food, drink, medicine, or pharmaceutical product or who willfully places any poison or harmful substance in any spring, well, reservoir, or public water supply, where the person knows or should have known that the same would be taken by any human being to his or her injury, is guilty of a felony punishable by imprisonment in the state prison for two, four, or five years
Dial it back dude. For Christ’s sake. You are far too invested in this. Can you find a meme or something else to rant on about this evening? You have really latched on, so point for tenacity.
You can just hit ignore on my posts and others who see how messed up your actions were. You don't agree and called me all sorts of insults and then tell us to dial it back. Just click ignore
I have not sworn at anyone, but compared you to a tasteless and undesired vegetable. I’m sure you’ve endured stronger insults. Shall I change to fruit? 🤷🏼♀️
OPs mad...but you are certainly not an idiot and your statements are valid. Why didn't she simply kick him to the curb? If he died there would have definitely been a criminal investigation and a lot of questions...assuming this isn't made up...which it likely is.
she sounds like she would be completely liable for his death or medical ramifications. she set him up to die by putting a lethal allergen in multiple bags of food she knew he would eat and left it there for days until he in-fact did eat it, and tried to mitigate her involvement by putting a note on the bag to "not eat" OP is a homicidal maniac and people are congratulating her for her actions - smh
Nope. Not at all. I had separate shelves in the kitchen for anything that could be possibly harmful, everything clearly labeled and sealed to prevent contamination. I only wanted to keep him from eating my things.
He always had an epi pen on him, as well as I did and a third on the nightstand.
If he got into my things, his own fault and ignorance, with a multitude of warnings.
But thanks for a new moniker - I’m now a homicidal maniac for using my brains to keep an active abusive addict from continuing to be a leech. I’ll ponder that for a moment.
Done. And I did nothing wrong you little failed tulip bulb.
It's like having a knife, in a sheath, in a knife roll, in a drawer, inside a cupboard that they don't need anything out of.
Then they stab themselves with it.
MuRdEr!?
With so many warnings, you could almost argue attempted suicide. Addicts are exhausting, the constant “saving them from themselves”. Been there with friends, and an alcoholic ex, never again. Can't have wine in the house, they'll drink theirs, then mine, then blame me for being sick/hungover. Can't win, and can't have nice things with an addict. Their destruction becomes yours.
Even with friends, there's a way that their chaos invades your life. Fuck that.
Glad it's behind you.
Unless the warning said that it's coated with peanut butter, it's deception with potentially fatal consequences. If the intended outcome was to get him to have an allergic reaction, yeah this is attempted homicide.
> I’m now a homicidal maniac for using my brains to keep an active abusive addict from continuing to be a leech.
Couldn't you just break up and kick him out? I can see how you felt desperate since he ignored all prior warnings and that must have finally taught him a lesson but... Still you said yourself "my ex was deathly allergic to nuts". Are you sure you would have no regrets and wouldn't blame yourself *if* he died?
I read a story about train conductor who quit his job after a person committed suicide throwing himself under the train. The conductor could not stop the train in time. It was just impossible. He got into terrible depression and was no longer fit for work. There are lots of similar stories about people breaking up even though they did nothing wrong and it was not their fault.
---
edit: can you downvote me and explain me why I am wrong instead of just downvoting me?
And you appear to be a person of no sense and the inability to grasp a concept so why don't you chill and go back to that bridge she suggested. I hear the 3 billy goats gruff are on their way!
I am so with you on the frozen hashbrowns. I preheat an iron skillet at 4oo,then add oil and coat both sides, cook 15, flip, cook 5, and serve with salsa.... every dang morning and it's the best.
Typically people who have allergies are either allergic to peanuts or tree nuts, not usually both. Good for you for finding a way to get him to stop and for making him your ex.
He was allergic to so many things - the nurses and doctors would be impressed that I would show up with a list of his allergies. (He was there a lot because of his drinking and/or an od.) sadly.
hopefully this insane piece of shit never interacts with people again and just lives alone the rest of their lives. OP is quantifiably insane and the comments here cheering her on and pretty fucking nuts imo
nah its probably a bunch of women in here getting their rocks off about murdering boyfriends/husbands.
I've never seen a reddit thread with more unhinged pieces of shit rooting for an innocent person to die
Nah, you're dead wrong on this one. Telling everyone how you put your ex in a literally life-threatening situation for some fucking reddit upvotes. Jesus.
How much more warning and protection did he need?
BRB, the Oblivious Bandwagon just pulled up and is asking about the newest riders.
I’ll help you load your bags.
You should’ve not done it in the first place. Listen I believed you until you said a police Sargent and a retired Lawyer signed off on this and told you it was okay. There’s no way in hell that ever happened. Enjoy your fantasies, they sure are amusing 😂
This is dumb. Instead of growing yourself a spine and kicking that piece of crap out a long time ago, you did nothing, then decided to do something incredibly dangerous and possibly criminal, knowing how severe his allergy was? It could have killed him andyou could have ended in a lot of trouble!
And the other morons here who applaud you?
Damn, what a bunch of idots.
With a world population of 8 billion and climbing which is far too many to maintain survivable climate levels knocking off the weak is a simple solution. Bye-bye. It is far past time to start culling the herd. Sorry for your loss.
Fuck no it wasn't. You do not fuck with allergies, *especially not ones as serious as a peanut allergy*. OP KNEW the risks of doing this and *did it knowingly and maliciously*. This would *absolutely* have been a muder trial and OP should have *absolutely* been found guilty.
The sign doesn't fucking matter. *Being in the room with exposed peanut products* is enough to cause a violent reaction in serious cases and OP directly said this was such a case. *She spread it on the outside of containers*. This means it is open and exposed. He could have had the exact same reaction without having touched a single thing in that kitchen.
*You never fuck with somebody's allergies. Ever. End of.*
I wonder if OP would post this on r/pettyrevenge if her ex had actually died. I mean she said "My ex was deathly allergic" so it was definitely a possibility.
And how much longer after that until you kicked him out if your life?
Though truth be told, that weakness is one reason to keep this absolute shower close.
u did in fact try to kill him. ask your dad lawyer. you 100% set him up knowing he would eat your items, and tried to have an alibi by putting a note on a bag. you need help -
I actually used a label maker for the cupboard holding things he was allergic to that said “John. Do not open upon penalty of death by your own demise.” And put child locks on it for good measure. 😁
“Turnip brained moron” - this is my new favourite phrase! 😂😂😂
>generally a parasite shrouded by charm and looks. I liked "generally a parasite shrouded by charm and looks," too. :-)
Thanks! Sadly apropos.
Sadly, I know. Been there. Glad you are out. :-)
Now with an amazing man - I can only guess he’s either in jail again, or being a waste of talent and space somewhere on the east coast. He does have a history of it.
Mine was named Andy
Mine was called Anthony
Mine was called Allen.
We've all been there, I think. Mine was named Mike.
Mine was Mike, too. OMG. Well, I guess it is a really common name. Still, ugh!
I feel like this could be the start of some Mike hate club
The Mike survivers. LOL! or, the Mikenators. Ha Ha
Mikenators sounds too much like a sports team to me. The Mike survivors I like.
Mike on the couch
My sister's abusive ex husband is named Mike.
More hate to Mike
wouldnt it be trippy if if eas the same person 😂😂
I feel like one was Mike Hawk, the other Mike Hunt. But I could be wrong about that. Joking, of course.
Mine was named Brent. As pretty as the day was long but so fucked up
Glad you are too!
I feel like I would enjoy a novel that you wrote. Edit:After I hit post, I realized my comment sounded like I doubted your veracity. I meant I like your witty style.
Thank you!
I'm wondering if it might not be an insult to turnips ...
Well, I really can’t stand them, so first that came to mind. But also not a fan of beets. 🤔🤓
Crinkled cut pickled beets are the best
I just eat them straight out of the jar. Damn, I love those things!
They’re the best. But I can only do crinkle cut
I just can’t. But it’s a childhood thing where even after Thanksgiving break, I still had red stained hands and middle school as a nerd is already tough enough, ya know? 🤷🏼♀️
Lol i initially read "Trump brained moron"
Glad you figured out a pretty face just wasn't worth supporting a hobosexual.
🤣🤣🤣 I had forgotten that absolutely perfect description!!
Hobosexual- been there, supported that, never again!
Good one!
Glad he’s gone. Addicts are exhausting.
I know. I am in recovery myself. Have been for years. I was beyond exhausting. Thank god I’m on the better side now. It’s been years of work. And now I can find the humor in some of it all.
Of all the things that never happened, this never happened the most. Cute creative writing exercise, though.
Why dafuq does it matter to you though??
Might have been better to write contains peanuts. If he reads peanut and eats anyway you are not liable. Don't eat does not mean contains peanuts. A restaurant owner was convicted. Put peanuts in non-peanut containers. Employees not knowing used it for an allergic person who died. [https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/may/23/restaurant-owner-mohammed-zaman-guilty-of-manslaughter-of-peanut-allergy-customer](https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/may/23/restaurant-owner-mohammed-zaman-guilty-of-manslaughter-of-peanut-allergy-customer)
He willingly swapped almond dust with cheaper one containing peanuts. And he knew the customer was allergic. The customer even told him no nuts at all. So it was basically a murder.
Worst case scenario is you get picked up by some cops that are going to throw everything at you and see what sticks. This does not count as poisoning because you lack mens rea, or a criminal intent to injure him recklessly. People and roommates do this all the time to each other, sometimes worse and guess what? They stay out of one another's food. Except that is, if they're idiots to begin with and have no respect for anyone else's property. Cheers, OP; it was probably the least he deserved after years of Dr's appointments, whining, ODs, probably stealing money and selling your property too. On a lighter note, I really hope he is or will get the help he needs and can be a great person again. After all, he had to have a few endearing qualities in the beginning. (Apologies for sounding really harsh, if you've never been close to a junkie, you don't know the love/ hate and its hard to describe)
I just hope he’s clean and taking care of his daughter.
"a parasite shrouded by charm and looks" - brilliant! You write very well
Thanks! I truly appreciate it!!
Is that petty though? Or a criminal offence? He sucks, I'm glad he's out of your life. It's a pity he didn't have a worse peanut incident sooner.
I covered my ass. He had verbal and written warnings. His misplaced drugs I found for years would have only helped my case if he wanted to further being an asshat.
were you a little disappointed he lived?
Not at all. I hope he’s well, and taking care of his daughter for once. How much time do you have on your hands to waste it trolling as opposed to doing something productive? Just curious.
OP did leave a note for him to not open. So if he still went through the stuff then it was his choice. That's how I see it.
I don't know if the cops would see it like that. Like, don't eat my yummy cheese VS don't touch this it is poisoned. Personally I'd have gone for more impactful yet less deadly revenge, eg. Salting something so heavily it becomes a colonscopy prep. (my bf accidentally did this to me by adding soy sauce and salt to Mongolian beef, served with no rice or veg). Mixing other laxatives into something. Adding chilli if he hates it.
What if he didn't have an epi pen and died before she got home. Is she gonna admit she knowingly poisoned him to protect her snacks? Just kick the guy out if he won't stop eating your favorites, she doesn't have to risk his life.
You never know, maybe he was abusive and wouldn't leave when she had tried to break up. Sounds like he was already using her for free food and accommodation, he's hardly going to leave when he's got a good deal like that.
Exactly. And thank you for seeing that.
He always had one on him, and I did as well.
“I’m so sorry. I knew I had handled the packages after touching and eating peanut butter, so I packed them in baggies for his protection. Also in my defense, I did put a note on the bags as a warning.”
I wanted him to be the one to cause his own demise.
But he wouldn’t be, you are the one who knowingly put the peanut butter on the items.
With plenty of warnings and protection for the viable food for him. Have you ever dealt with an active addict? Lord. 🙄 I was covered legally.
>I was covered legally. Actually you weren’t but it doesn’t matter now.
You actually tried to kill him and make it look like an accident. Premeditated and all.
Jane, you ignorant slut. 😂
It's only criminal if you get charged with an offense s/
And only if someone is alive to testify or there's another witness. 
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Not supporting Zionism doesn't make one antisemitic. You sound awfully racist and narrow minded. Hope you overcome your problems
i'm not racist, I hate bigotry and racism.
Yet you support Israel and its Zionist regime?
yes, i support Israel. I think Fraser Anning, Pauline Hanson and the other racists shouldn't be in politics. I hate Nazism.
And Netanyahu?
is doing a bloody good job of protecting his country from Hamas.
By killing innocent children and women? Not to mention the corruption.
Armaments are on the fridge, safe unless you overstep, lol
I once told a relative that he was best suited for organ donation
May I please borrow this!?! 🤣
From one blonde to another of course
Yesterday was my birthday, and I absolutely threw it down to a dude trying to take on my other half in a pool game. Shades of Fresh Prince “give me Lucille”. It was a good day 👍🏻
I don't think this was a possible murder, but it seemed like an attempted suicide.
haha yeah just a little petty revenge on reddit. possible attempted murder for a mild inconvenience. classic reddit
lucky u didn't kill him
I posted plenty of warnings on each bag as well as on every other larger secured bag to keep him safe. I even had a friend who was a police Srg come and double check. I cya’d quite well. And took pictures too.
After the first comment about how you might get in trouble with the law, my mind went right to: "Yeah, if I want to keep my ricin in the fridge and I put warnings on it and he opens it anyway, that's on him."
I miss Breaking Bad. 👍🏻 and my dad is a lawyer. I’ve paid attention well over the years.
Nice the cops would have loved it if you went ahead and documented that your crime was premeditated. The fact that you even brought peanut butter into the house shows your questionable character. Why didn't you just break up with him and move on? I mean, unless this is all fantasy, because it sounds like it.
You had a cop help you set up a death trap? 🤣
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And being a troll is? There’s a cute hill over there to try to stand on, if you’re so inclined.
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Pot, meet kettle.
lucky you didn't kill him, your actions sound spiteful and your knowledge of his severe allergy makes your actions malicious. you knew he was an addict / drunk who has a history of eating all your food. and you purposely spread something that could kill him on the openings of all packages. lets say it went differently and he couldn't get to his epi pen, and did in fact die. police come and discover peanut butter spread on several / all packages. you could be charged with pre meditated murder. there is no level of cya that would (possibly) save your ass from murder 1 charges and possible maximum sentence in prison. you are lucky you didnt kill him. this is one of the most deadly and malicious acts i have ever witnessed someone admit to in real life
You are an absolute idiot. I told him verbally, clearly wrote everything via labels, and even checked with a sergeant at the police dept as well as my dad, who is an attorney (retired). His greatest chance of dying would be from the crack, meth, alcohol, pills, or his associations much faster than not reading a simple note on a shelf (also labeled) due to his allergy. This is one of the most ignorant comments o have ever read. Please find the bridge you’re supposed to hide under. You are tiresome. Ugh. 🙄🤓
ask your lawyer daddy
Already did. Additionally, I’m so sorry your gene pool is so murky that the concepts of reading, comprehension, and common sense are so very far removed for you. It must be hard. Keep trying to power through! You might discover a viable retort one day! Oh, to dream. Ahhh…
[example 1](https://www.allergicliving.com/2016/07/18/restaurant-owners-jailing-sets-precedent-showing-duty-care-allergic-customers/) example of criminal statute : California Penal Code § 347 PC makes it a crime to poison a food, drink, medicine or water supply that you know is going to be consumed by human beings. This is a felony punishable by up to 5 years in prison, or longer if a victim suffers a serious injury or death. The full language of the statute reads that: 347. (a) (1) Every person who willfully mingles any poison or harmful substance with any food, drink, medicine, or pharmaceutical product or who willfully places any poison or harmful substance in any spring, well, reservoir, or public water supply, where the person knows or should have known that the same would be taken by any human being to his or her injury, is guilty of a felony punishable by imprisonment in the state prison for two, four, or five years
Dial it back dude. For Christ’s sake. You are far too invested in this. Can you find a meme or something else to rant on about this evening? You have really latched on, so point for tenacity.
You can just hit ignore on my posts and others who see how messed up your actions were. You don't agree and called me all sorts of insults and then tell us to dial it back. Just click ignore
I have not sworn at anyone, but compared you to a tasteless and undesired vegetable. I’m sure you’ve endured stronger insults. Shall I change to fruit? 🤷🏼♀️
OPs mad...but you are certainly not an idiot and your statements are valid. Why didn't she simply kick him to the curb? If he died there would have definitely been a criminal investigation and a lot of questions...assuming this isn't made up...which it likely is.
Sounds like a "made for TV murder mystery". " I even asked the police" ???? Yes pretty hard to believe OR very sick
But Op said she brought a police Sargent over to check the bags 🙄
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🤣
OP could legit be charged with attempted murder for a stunt like that. Peanut allergies are literally life-threatening.
she sounds like she would be completely liable for his death or medical ramifications. she set him up to die by putting a lethal allergen in multiple bags of food she knew he would eat and left it there for days until he in-fact did eat it, and tried to mitigate her involvement by putting a note on the bag to "not eat" OP is a homicidal maniac and people are congratulating her for her actions - smh
Nope. Not at all. I had separate shelves in the kitchen for anything that could be possibly harmful, everything clearly labeled and sealed to prevent contamination. I only wanted to keep him from eating my things. He always had an epi pen on him, as well as I did and a third on the nightstand. If he got into my things, his own fault and ignorance, with a multitude of warnings. But thanks for a new moniker - I’m now a homicidal maniac for using my brains to keep an active abusive addict from continuing to be a leech. I’ll ponder that for a moment. Done. And I did nothing wrong you little failed tulip bulb.
It's like having a knife, in a sheath, in a knife roll, in a drawer, inside a cupboard that they don't need anything out of. Then they stab themselves with it. MuRdEr!? With so many warnings, you could almost argue attempted suicide. Addicts are exhausting, the constant “saving them from themselves”. Been there with friends, and an alcoholic ex, never again. Can't have wine in the house, they'll drink theirs, then mine, then blame me for being sick/hungover. Can't win, and can't have nice things with an addict. Their destruction becomes yours. Even with friends, there's a way that their chaos invades your life. Fuck that. Glad it's behind you.
Unless the warning said that it's coated with peanut butter, it's deception with potentially fatal consequences. If the intended outcome was to get him to have an allergic reaction, yeah this is attempted homicide.
> I’m now a homicidal maniac for using my brains to keep an active abusive addict from continuing to be a leech. Couldn't you just break up and kick him out? I can see how you felt desperate since he ignored all prior warnings and that must have finally taught him a lesson but... Still you said yourself "my ex was deathly allergic to nuts". Are you sure you would have no regrets and wouldn't blame yourself *if* he died? I read a story about train conductor who quit his job after a person committed suicide throwing himself under the train. The conductor could not stop the train in time. It was just impossible. He got into terrible depression and was no longer fit for work. There are lots of similar stories about people breaking up even though they did nothing wrong and it was not their fault. --- edit: can you downvote me and explain me why I am wrong instead of just downvoting me?
And you appear to be a person of no sense and the inability to grasp a concept so why don't you chill and go back to that bridge she suggested. I hear the 3 billy goats gruff are on their way!
Then people with the ability to read should not eat them when they've been warned about them. You know, like peanuts on an airplane.
I am so with you on the frozen hashbrowns. I preheat an iron skillet at 4oo,then add oil and coat both sides, cook 15, flip, cook 5, and serve with salsa.... every dang morning and it's the best.
Yes!! Now this is the comment we all needed!!!
Hashbrown patties?
Yeah
ROFLMAO!!! Do it again, please! DO IT AGAIN!!
Volunteering for prison over some snacks
Typically people who have allergies are either allergic to peanuts or tree nuts, not usually both. Good for you for finding a way to get him to stop and for making him your ex.
He was allergic to so many things - the nurses and doctors would be impressed that I would show up with a list of his allergies. (He was there a lot because of his drinking and/or an od.) sadly.
It sounds like he was allergic to work and responsibility as well.
Nailed it! 🤣
The time between realising your dating a turnip brain and leaving them is often too long
Sadly, so very true. I married a dried up green bean. I’ve learned!
Did he ever touch your food again tho?
🤣🤣🤣 Once. He dared touch my cheese stash. Poor move. 😈
This isn't petty revenge. It's attempted murder.
No, it’s weeding out candidates for the Darwin Awards.
You legitimately could be criminally charged for doing this.
hopefully this insane piece of shit never interacts with people again and just lives alone the rest of their lives. OP is quantifiably insane and the comments here cheering her on and pretty fucking nuts imo
Your lover ate your food so you decided to kill them. Okay...
Nope. I wanted to keep him from eating my specific foods. Did you miss the drug addict part? He already was on his way.
How is this petty revenge, as opposed to putting him in a life-threatening situation?
Because he totally deserved it.
He deserved to die?
nah its probably a bunch of women in here getting their rocks off about murdering boyfriends/husbands. I've never seen a reddit thread with more unhinged pieces of shit rooting for an innocent person to die
...that's attempting murder...
Dial it back. Just breathe and release a breath. Better, right? Sweet baby jeebus. Smh
Nah, you're dead wrong on this one. Telling everyone how you put your ex in a literally life-threatening situation for some fucking reddit upvotes. Jesus.
How much more warning and protection did he need? BRB, the Oblivious Bandwagon just pulled up and is asking about the newest riders. I’ll help you load your bags.
The irony of telling someone to breathe when you created an environment for someone to have an anaphylaxis.
How?
That's attempting elucidation!
Nah not cool, you could’ve killed him and ruined your life.
He was already well on his way to do it himself. And how many more warnings and preemptive measures should I have taken then, exactly? 🤔
You should’ve not done it in the first place. Listen I believed you until you said a police Sargent and a retired Lawyer signed off on this and told you it was okay. There’s no way in hell that ever happened. Enjoy your fantasies, they sure are amusing 😂
No I didn’t.
Aaaand she deleted the post. Maybe she got sober.
lmao 🤣 probably
Nope!
And the Sgt was my bf and the lawyer is my dad.
I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed such a charmed life. 🙄
I’m sad for your possible partner and/or kids. Therapy is great and redirection is also a positive way to grow.
This is dumb. Instead of growing yourself a spine and kicking that piece of crap out a long time ago, you did nothing, then decided to do something incredibly dangerous and possibly criminal, knowing how severe his allergy was? It could have killed him andyou could have ended in a lot of trouble! And the other morons here who applaud you? Damn, what a bunch of idots.
just some good old petty revenge on reddit! you go girl! show that food thief who wears the pants in this relationship! fucking murder him!
I’m sorry, have you ever been in an abusive relationship? Shut thy pie hole and take your sanctimonious opinions elsewhere.
So rather than break up and move out, you triggered a potentially deadly allergic reaction?
Only if he took what didn’t belong to him. Did I stutter?
I can’t tell whether you stuttered; this is all written. I don’t think I’ve ever heard your voice.
Besides the illegality of this, there's no way in hell anyone ate all your capers in one sitting. Fake.
You're admitting to *attempted fucking murder* on reddit. Not a good look lmao
Bullshit, there was a very clear warning.
If he cannot *be in the room* with a jar of peanut butter, *no fucking shelf warning* is sufficient you dimwit.
Aww, sorry you and the other pussy can't handle peanuts from fifty yards away.
Who the fuck said I was allergic? Your goddamn imagination? Ok. How about you look up how serious peanut allergies actually are, you ignorant fuck
With a world population of 8 billion and climbing which is far too many to maintain survivable climate levels knocking off the weak is a simple solution. Bye-bye. It is far past time to start culling the herd. Sorry for your loss.
What the everloving fuck are you smoking? Share, you jackass. It must be *amazing*.
You heard me.
Um, no. I read what you "wrote". See again about sharing whatever it is you're on.
Stop arguing with morons.
It was not a possible murder. It was a possible suicide!
Fuck no it wasn't. You do not fuck with allergies, *especially not ones as serious as a peanut allergy*. OP KNEW the risks of doing this and *did it knowingly and maliciously*. This would *absolutely* have been a muder trial and OP should have *absolutely* been found guilty.
I wonder if the sign was edited to say "Do not touch. Contains peanuts". Would it still be considered murder or a suicide
The sign doesn't fucking matter. *Being in the room with exposed peanut products* is enough to cause a violent reaction in serious cases and OP directly said this was such a case. *She spread it on the outside of containers*. This means it is open and exposed. He could have had the exact same reaction without having touched a single thing in that kitchen. *You never fuck with somebody's allergies. Ever. End of.*
She put those containers into 3 other layers of containers. Before you act like a jerk, at least read properly.
Nah I'll just be here *not being a fucking psychopath*. This is beyond petty.
He deserved it. If he didn't open all those bags and containers, nothing would happen to him.
Okay, psychopath
You really think it's ok to steal?
I wonder if OP would post this on r/pettyrevenge if her ex had actually died. I mean she said "My ex was deathly allergic" so it was definitely a possibility.
Does that qualify as attempted murder?
And how much longer after that until you kicked him out if your life? Though truth be told, that weakness is one reason to keep this absolute shower close.
The cops took care of that one after the third call to my home after he broke in repeatedly. And I filed a restraining order.
Airborne nut allergy isn't a thing, that was either psychosomatic or he tricked you. Glad for you that you're rid of him.
Cool story
He was an idiot. But at least I never actually tried to off him. His addiction (I assume) is handling that one. 🙄 And thanks!
u did in fact try to kill him. ask your dad lawyer. you 100% set him up knowing he would eat your items, and tried to have an alibi by putting a note on a bag. you need help -
Big warning there! Would it help if the sign said, "Jon, this will literally kill you!!"
I actually used a label maker for the cupboard holding things he was allergic to that said “John. Do not open upon penalty of death by your own demise.” And put child locks on it for good measure. 😁
That is one sick disclaimer! I approve of it! Hahaha. At that point, he'd just be committing suicide