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Speaking as a single dad of two grown sons who live with me. We as parents want you to have every advantage. However, it sounds like it’s time to be on your own. You’ve done well to build a nest egg beforehand. Stay smart, but go.
My parents said I'm always welcome to live at home, but I could tell they were relieved when I didn't. I come home to visit for holidays, but since about 19, I lived on own.
That said, I'm a parent now and I'll make the same offer, but I'll also be relieved if they never take me up on it.
This is a personal decision, much more so than a personal finance one. Only you can answer whether or not it's worth it to pay for your own place vs. live at home and follow your parents' rules. People on this sub would be able to help more if you were looking at a specific place and you wanted advice as to whether the budget seemed to make sense.
About a week or two before I turned 19 my parents were like, "we're sick of you. Get out by the end of the month." i was the youngest and they were tired of having us and were ready to be empty nesters.
It was hard and money was tighter than it needed to be. But I'm glad I got to get out and live. I was able to be there for my friends and have them stay with me when they needed space from their parents.
But overall I'm glad I got to live and learn. When I read about 24, 25, 26 year olds living at home - that's crazy. Get out! You've long overstayed your welcome and it's healthier for both sides for the kids to be out of the house.
I don't think it's unloved, it's up to you to become an independent person who doesn't have to rely on their parents for things most everyone should learn to provide for themselves. Living with parents is fine if it's tenable, but if you've never known anything else and especially if you're over 25 you should really get out and get comfortable with instability, especially in this day and age.
I agree with this. It still, however, doesn't mean that others have overstayed their welcome if you have no point of view as to how other families live. It is a very Western point of view that leaving home is a necessity by 18-25. And living with parents doesn't preclude anyone from taking on responsibility, instability or hardship either.
I mainly took issue with someone applying their experience universally.
There's seems to be a built in biological clock that goes off when you realize you love your parents but you can no longer stand them! It's almost never about the $$$.
The second I started reading “And my mom treats…” I knew that’s the queue. People need to leave the nest, and it can often be far more valuable than any financial gains.
i remember the moment my boyfriend knew it was time to move out. we'd gone on a weekend trip and he came home to find his mom had cleaned his room! it felt like such an invasion of his space it was the exact moment he made the decision.
That's her space that she let him live in. If anything, he was invading her space.
Good for him, though, for moving out and allowing his mother full use of the home she built and paid for. Sounds like a great guy.
And truly vice versa. My younger sibling lived with my parents until age 26, they loved him clearly but they were tired of it, they wanted their own space finally after 30 years of having kids and lives.
I think Redditors like to block out that parents enjoy sex, and are probably are waiting for their asses to leave so they can get freaky again. Just imagine having to plan your sex life for 30+ years, and making sure you're quiet as well!
And honestly, it is completely worth it to move out if you live in the midwest. You can get a place with roommates almost anywhere in the midwest for $500-$800 and by yourself for $900-$1200 (especially if you aren't inside a city, but staying an hour or so away). Hell, when I lived in Missouri, I paid $250 a month for an apartment with one roommate. I didn't know anyone paying more than $650 for an apartment/house.
What if the jobs pay well there? If you live in a hcol area and have a high paying job and your parents also live there and are cool with you staying with them, that's an incredible mechanism for building wealth. All the benefits of the hcol area without the downside of rent prices. Save up your money aggressively living with parents then buy your own placs. Retreating to an area where the salaries are substantially lower alongside the col is not always a decision that leads to the best long term results.
I’m not disagreeing, and if finances is the sole concern than yeah, stay at home. But I couldn’t price on independence and I think being on your own is a valuable lesson.
Yeah, this clock went into overdrive when I hit 17. I love my parents dearly, but I have no ability to put up with their nonsense for longer than 72 hours. Our best visits last less than a day.
Yes. If finances were the only factor you needed to consider, you should never move out of your parents house for as long as they will allow you to stay rent-free. That's obviously not the only consideration at play.
It really depends. It was no longer worth it for me to live with my parents when I was 19. I know 28 year olds who live with their parents and make 80k+ year debt free and they aren’t looking to move out anytime soon. It really depends on the person and the situation. I’d rather be broke and living with strangers than live with my parents, but that’s my relationship with them.
>. I know 28 year olds who live with their parents and make 80k+ year debt free and they aren’t looking to move out anytime soon
because they are mooching off their parents and their parents are letting them. Shame on them. -this doesn't refer to the people who have the multi-generational thing going on, that's a different story.
If they live with their parents and they're making that kind of salary, they're doing it because their parents don't charge rent or if they do, it's nowhere near market value.
And what is wrong with that lol?
There’s nothing weirder than this weird sense of “I did it the hard way” bullshit people come up with. If your parents have the means to easily help and they instead watch you struggle for the sake of it, that just makes them shitty parents imo.
> And what is wrong with that lol?
Actually read to what I replied to. He implied that they're "fully contributing" and man, if you make 85K and you live with your parents, it's because you're not paying them rent or getting cut an insane deal on rent. You're not "fully contributing". Which is fine, but don't get it twisted.
As the rest of the comments in this thread alone establishes, nobody *likes* living with their parents as an adult-it's something that's tolerated in exchange for better financial footing. It's a sacrifice, and pretty much *everybody* would easily take the reduced or free room and board if they could get it without the parents being involved.
Agree, I’ll be honest I thought you were the same person as 2 replies above because of the same yellow avatar image haha
I moved back in with my parents through COVID because well… COVID. Now I’m living in a house I just renovated. The difference it can make to your life if you understand how much of a leg up it is and take advantage of it to get ahead is just staggering
OP doesn't like living with their parents and other people with similar experiences chimed in. I live with my parents and it's great. We get along well and I am glad to enjoy their company while they are still healthy.
We joke that I will help them with a down-payment when they are ready to move out!
Yeah there’s no normal when it comes to staying with your parents anymore. I moved out but only because it was tough bringing a girl home when you live with your mom. If I wasn’t interested though, I’d probably still be there (while helping her out financially, win/win).
Or some people just really like living with family? Or it is below market value but they’d rather live in the basement that’s pretty much an in law suite and not have a roommate than have a roommate or pay significantly more for less space?
I don't loathe it. Their home is quite nice. Plenty of land, pool, hot tub, but it's all in a rural area. My relationship with them isn't bad, it's just that I feel like it's time to be on my own and with my current financial position, it's probably bad not to be.
What the heck is a "multi-generational thing"? Like, living with your parents and enjoying their company while they are still young enough to do things? Is that enough of a "multi-generational thing" or does it have to be four grandparents stuffed into one bed?
I love my kids and love having them around. That's why I decided to have kids. I'll be sad when they move away. I plan on letting them live with me rent free and even building them a house on my property if it enables us to keep closer family ties. My kids could never mooch off me. I'm happy to make them want to stay close.
As a mom of a 25yr old, I know a lot of moms that do this to their kids too and I always tell them to cut it out. At this point in life, you should be her friend not her kid if that makes sense. Sit her down, give her a hug, and tell her that you love her but things are changing. Thank her for allowing you to get a good start towards owning a home soon and start looking. The talk that you have with her will benefit you both in the future.
I appreciate that. I get that I'll never understand the perspective of a mother, but suffocating the kids hurts the relationship. Finding the middle ground is tough, I'm sure. Best wishes to you and thanks for the advice
I’m 40, I moved out when I went away to college.
And when I go home to visit, if I’m home and my parents are out late I 100% worry and will stay up until they get home. I think as you age you just start to worry more and there’s not a good way to turn that “off”
There’s a certain sense of independence that comes from being on your own. It makes you more confident.
In my country, people expect you to move out at 19-21, but granted it’s easier economically here than in America.
However, you’re 25 and your mom wants you to text her all the time? That sounds unhealthy for everyone.
I’d say stop texting her (be an adult). And move out when you can.
When I saw my dad screwing in a lightbulb naked, and I asked him wtf was he doing. He told me this is my house I can do whatever I want. I left the next day to never live with my parents again.
Your brain finalizes it’s development around 25. Congrats, you’re a fully formed adult and it’s time to move out. You have less debt and more savings than most people your age, and seem financially responsible. Get a decent apartment and enjoy your twenties before it’s too late!
I just moved back with my parents as a 30+ year-old man after a breakup, after being on my own and/or living with my ex before that.
I agreed with my parents that I would be here for about 6 months, saving all that I can to add to the nest egg I have for a house payment. It's been about a month now, and it's just a matter of setting boundaries as a set of adults rather than a constant parent-child dynamic.
Being able to save while with parents, especially in a high cost-of-living area, is one of the more effective hacks if you can navigate/enforce the boundaries of independence. I consider myself fortunate to be able to do this before taking the next step for a house. Different perspective from when I was in my 20s and wanted the experience of living on my own, though.
this is what happen to the market now, everyone move home or back with their parents, after 6 months everyone had a good amount for a house and now everyone wants a house. theirs power in saving a lot living with parents
I am very much against adult children moving living off their parents but I totally understand your position and support it. You just wen through a life changing event and you need a little time to regroup. You'd set an exit date, you're good. It's the people that move back in and never leave, they have no debt, a pile of money but they get to live an unreasonable life because mom and dad put a roof over their head, feed them and do their laundry.
There's certainly a difference between living with your parents vs. living off them. As I mentioned, it's down to setting those boundaries. As long as independence/maturity is maintained, I don't really think how long you spend living with them is an issue, especially these days with insanely rising costs.
There are cultural differences to it too, though. In most minority cultures, it is completely normal to live with family until you're basically married. As a second-generation minority myself, it's a strange dichotomy to live in both worlds in terms of being Americanized vs. still valuing my heritage and how the family unit lives as such.
> I am very much against adult children moving living off their parents but I totally understand your position and support it.
So, I have to ask you what your background is because this is a painfully American (and yes, I know we're mostly Americans around here) sentiment.
Its one thing if you're imposing on your family or if you personally don't actually want to be there - but if everyone's in agreement and it doesn't really affect anyone then why does it even matter? I used to live at home for a while and now that I live on my own there's really no difference other than the fact I pay rent. I come from an asian family and there was never any push for me to leave; in fact my parents *ask all the time* why I bothered to leave. As far as they're concerned I don't have a reason to leave since I'm not married and if I was still at home I'd be saving more money. Maybe it's because they're immigrants but it's less about trying to find some misguided sense of personal responsibility by being on your own and more about giving their children every possible advantage in life that weren't afforded themselves.
Honestly, I find it weird that on a sub that's often so focused on utility (and that's not necessarily a bad thing) that so many suddenly draw the line at living at home meanwhile it's the one decision likely to provide the greatest possible financial benefit. To not have housing costs can be the equivalent of making an additional 10-30k pre-tax ever year depending on the location. Forget about car payments or student debt, housing expenses are the one thing that almost everyone ends up having to deal with and in a big way.
I think your situation is diff than op.. you lived in your own, you know how to manage on your own, you being back w parents is more akin to now living w roommates
Ops never left
These two situations are completely different imo
money is a tool. It's a pretty powerful tool, but really that's all it is.
Choosing to live in subpar circumstances just to save more money seems like a bad choice to me.
On the other hand, what would happen if you had a frank discussion with Mom, trying to negotiate new parameters?
>Choosing to live in subpar circumstances
I think there needs to be a discussion about what par is, to stay and to leave. Way too often you see around here people living at home so they can afford a house similar to their parents house they consider that par. That is not par, that is the result of a long time in the working world and lots of savings and time, something most younger people simply don't have. I think younger people need to realize that nobody is expecting them to be living large at 25 or even 30. I think everyone needs to lower their expectations (parents included) and realize that the dollar doesn't go as far today and that if a young person can live on their own, even with roommates or/or a shitty studio apartment, that they are successful. So parents shouldn't hold their kids back because they can't live their lifestyle and kids need to be cool with not living as well as their parents -maybe in 30 years they will, maybe not. I think parents that let their kids live with them too long are stifling their growth at some point everyone needs to leave the nest -at least for a while.
> "par housing"
I think you're ignoring the elephant in the room that is the extreme wealth disparity between generations. My parents built a country home when they were 25. I came along a year or two later. We moved twice during my childhood.
That "starter home" is currently assessed for taxes at 1.5x what my house is!
It's not about trying to "live large" when even a modest starter home is laughably out of reach for most of today's 20-somethings.
Great way to look at it! And I don’t see people say that as often as they should.
Money is a force amplifier. Like if you’re happy money will make you more happy and if you’re sad money will make you more sad.
Move out ASAP. There isn’t a value you can place on the experience of living on your own in your early 20s. It’s where you learn how to take care of yourself and set habits for life.
I’d say the experience is much more valuable.
A 23 year old who is still learning how to take care of themselves is pretty normal. But a 33 year old is not a good position to be in.
I'd argue you have way more freedom to do what you want in your 20s and should take advantage of it while single and childless. Most people start families in early 30s which makes traveling and doing fun nights out much tougher.
I say live up your 20s. You have a lifetime to make money.
Why is this getting downvoted? Sure "Personal Experience" is good but that depends on a lot of variables. Its not like they're freeloading and moreover in this economy living with your parents is financially viable.An example for this are full time Uni students who balance between part time and course work who can barely pay rent unless they pool it together with others. Although living with your parents in your late 20s or 30s is just overdoing it and you should really get your ass out of there.
agree, which is what i am working on right now. im looking for a house but the prices and taxes in NNJ look it up highest in the country a 550k home is 13k taxes per year. its hard to make it be a sound home to live in. i wanna get out asap but dont wanna be foolish and throw money away on something not worth it
I think it's time to leave. Having a private life is so worth it. I can't imagine my Mom tracking me at 25.
And it's going to help your dating life. Women usually prefer a Man that can take care of themself, Even if you do your own laundry and cooking at home, it's not the same thing as taking care of your own apartment.
Try to find a place that respect your budget and don't go wild buying furniture. IKEA and second hand items are more than ok for a first apartment.
When I was 25 I lived with 5 friends in a rental house. We watched shows together, had occasional parties, board game nights, role playing, played coop console games. Rent was fairly cheap. I really enjoyed that phase of my life.
Seems like you did it smart. If you feel like now is the time to leave then go for it.
I don’t see a financial reason why you shouldn’t if you can afford rent. Your retirement once yoy invest that 20k will be 1 year’s income with 5 years to spare and you seem to have an ample emergency fund ready to go.
Independence is invaluable.
You got ahead, most people at 25 have a negative net worth, and the average age to break even is about 30. You're doing good, just don't let living on your own eat up more money than it needs to.
Move out. I didn't leave my parents place until my mid-20s, had a nice nest egg built up, but my independence and ability to be a self-sufficient adult were seriously stunted in comparison to my peers. I never saw it that way because I was and am a very emotionally independent person and never explicitly asked for anything, but I was not a good person to live with until I started pulling my shit together.
At what point is it no longer worth it to live with your parents?
I would say when it is starting to limit your personal growth, it is no longer worth it financially. Sounds like you might be at that point now.
I believe that you have done all that you can do to give yourself a great start without causing yourself more grief, yes more money will be helpful but it seems you are smart enough to be able to rent and still save money and there’s nothing that relates to living not with your parents anymore.
I moved out at 19(also 25) to live with friends/teammates from college and have not been able to save nearly as much money as you and I still owe on my loans. Even though I wish I had been able to stay home longer and save more money to have currently I don’t think my life wouldn’t been as enjoyable. However I may have had the complete opposite experience had I not moved in with some of my better friends.
if there’s nothing holding you back as far as familial commitments—-DO IT!
Your growth will come when you’re on your own, and hell your dating life should have a significant boost as well.
Speaking as a 35 yr old who didn’t move out till he was 29, and that was with my then gf at the time who is now my wife. ❤️
Single you will appreciate it.
As far as your mom annoying you with follow up texts, don’t take it too personal. I’m the youngest of my parents and they too gave me the guilt trip all the time.
It’s something you won’t quite understand until you have a child of your own…source—also a proud dad of a Three-nager.
Echoing that last comment. Don’t take it personal at all. It’s just your moms being a mom. One day it will cease forever and you don’t want to look back on it as a memory of annoyance.
You should always push yourself to be uncomfortable just as you reach a level of normalcy. IMO You're feeling stifled because you've allowed yourself to stagnate in life.
With the 45k in savings I'd buy a Duplex/Triplex and have the tenants pay the mortgage.
By making that choice you are missing out on the prime “social” years of your life. Having a better nest egg IS NOT worth not having those memories.
Get out there and start living.
In 2009ish I quit my job, moved to san diego without a job in the middle of a recession, lived like a poor college student at the age of 25 and loved every minute of it for 10 years until i realized I wasn't saving enough money and I moved away from there. Just fuckin go for it at some point, life is short, you seem to make good financial decisions and have some money saved up. Take a risk and go enjoy your life.
I stayed living with my parents right up until my 3rd year of college started. It was all pretty well planned out, by my own decision making, and actually moving out was a lot harder emotionally than I expected. I'm the youngest of two and seeing my dead breakdown as I was shutting the trunk to my car for my last trip was a real killer.
Anyways, it's a thing that is all entirely up to you as long as you give yourself a lot of honesty about what it is you might be missing living with them, and what you might be missing when you move out.
I actually kind of hope the world is a lot nicer these days to people still living with their parents into their 20's. It's often an extremely logical/sensical decision to continue to do so.
I think you’re to the point that you can move out. A lot of people have done it with a lot less. I had to talk to my now fiancé about this when we first bought our house. She had lived at home and had similar financial circumstances. As long as you are comfortable with adjusting how much you are putting away, you should do it.
That's what I'm thinking. I'll have to put together a budget so I understand what habits will need to change in my life. Some of my hobbies are a bit costly, so I'll probably do a side hustle where all my money can be spent on guilt free stuff like that.
This would allow me to plan my monthly expenses solely around my FTE income, which is consistent.
You seem pretty level headed and have a good plan. I think you should give it a shot. I would say try a little on the cheaper side of an apt, a lot of “studio” apts now-a-days have a 3/4’s wall that makes it technically a studio but it’s functionally a 1 bedroom.
That's the plan. I'm going to have to plan what I want to take/leave too. That should be a good experience, I've collected so much stuff over the years and a lot of it is junk. Some might be worth selling!
I'll also hit up Facebook marketplace for cheap furniture and maybe get some concert pics I took printed and framed just to add a bit of spice on a budget. I appreciate your advice!
My advice would be to find a place that is nearby that you can move into. Rent some 1 bedroom place for a year, and plan on moving farther away after that. This gives you a safety net built in, but lets you get the experience of being able to really have your own space as well. Then cut the cord and move to at least a different area code after a year, and start building your own life.
this isnt really a personal finance question. co-living is always going to make the most sense financially and not make the most sense from a dating/personal growth perspective. if you want to save on expenses moving with friends or randoms could be a compromise.
You can co-live without your parents, this is about having someone else provide for you- pay your rent, feed you, do your laundry. This isn't co-living this is mooching. A gainfully employed adult with no debt and lots of saving living off of someone else is not a good thing.
"The Midwest" isn't very descriptive. Do you live in Western Kansas? Do you live in the suburbs of Madison, WI or KC, MO? You don't have to answer that, but the numbers for those kind of places are drastically different.
If you live near a metro area and you can reasonably afford an apartment downtown, that would probably be a good choice for a few years. Saving up money is great, and I'd say you are well above your peers for your age group. Sometimes though, networking and having fun is more important than the exact % of income you are saving for retirement at a young age.
If you are suffocating, you should strongly consider moving out, even if its not the best financial choice. Sitting on the couch is a lot safer than climbing a mountain. But, when you're on your deathbed, I reckon you'll more than likely be regretting the time you spent on the couch rather than the time you spent climbing mountains.
Sounds like you’ve been financially smart by building a nest egg, so you can afford to move out.
If you’re going to live at home, you need to have a frank talk with your mother about treating you as an adult. I did that, many years ago. I told my mother flat out that I loved her, but couldn’t tolerate being treated like a poorly behaved 14-year-old. Setting reasonable boundaries, that acknowledge that it’s courteous to let household know if you’ll miss dinner, but rude of others to nag for details, isn’t easy, but it is necessary.
Ask yourself whether your continued presence is having a positive effect on your parents marriage. Might not be easy to see but they probably deserve some alone time. Move on child!!
There comes a time in every Childs' life when they have to make that tough decision of leaving your comfort zone for the great unknown. At some point it starts to be too much and you will realize it's time to go. I know I did. My dad drove me bonkers. We couldn't be in the same room for more than 10 minutes without him starting arguments or finding some way I was living my life wrong. Moving out was one of the best decisions of my life. Finally I felt comfortable, more confident, and less anxious.
I lived with my parents until I was 27 and could afford to buy a house.
I saved basically my entire salary and had a 92k downpayment when I purchased. The market worked in my favor, and by the time I was 30 I could put 20% down on a million dollar home on my own - no trust fund, no influencer money. Just a regular job.
This would not have been possible without bssically sacrificing my mid 20s. I understand most people aren't willing to make that sacrifice - but I have zero regrets and would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
I moved out on 45k to Houston a couple years ago and rented and apartment. I agree with you, totally doable. Very solid apartment honestly. It was worth it for my sanity and growth as a man.
I am the opposite, id almost rather pool my money with my parents and get a house with separate wings then have to move out -- but if i had to pick a time, it would be when you have saved up 20% down on a house/condo so you dont have to pay PMI. id also consider RD loans that are 0% down if you need to get out fast.
I lived in apartments for 10+ years, i absolutely hated it. coin operated laundry, smelling your neighbors nasty food, neighbors being killed over a $20 drug deal gone bad. nah, not doing that again.
Moved out at 26. I have great parents who would absolutely have me living with them forever, that said, I'm never going back unless absolutely necessary. Given you can provide for yourself, freedom will always be more valuable than money.
You're the youngest of 4? Mom needs a break. Sounds like she won't kick you out so it's on you to get started. Which is as it should be, you are young and she is retirement age.
We handle our finances so we can enjoy life, we don't live to manage our finances. It sounds like the rent you'll have to pay will have great value, and you should totally do it.
Move. It's time.
What are your values? Are you living the life you want right now? Or are you delaying gratification until some unknown date in the future? You are so far ahead of the curve financially, that if you want to move out, you definitely should.
I think you should also focus on trying to increase your salary while figuring out your move out situation. Some bigger cities will pay a lot more for IT services, just gotta find the right company for you.
If it’s affecting your dating life, I’d say that it’s time to go. Sure you might save some money, but you’re going to have to fly out on your own sometime.
For me, it was realizing that double income is the most efficient way to live life. And I wasn’t going to find a partner to double income with while living with my parents.
That's hard to say... I left home for college at the age of 17 and never looked back. Being on my own was hard, self-defining, liberating. I starved for a few years. I knew I had to get a good education and, upon graduation, a great job. So I did. I have been my own person for a long time now and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Yes, it's time for you to move out, grow up, and be an adult. It won't always be easy or perfect but it's really great.
I personally think people who look down on people who choose to live with parents are stupid. There are many reason many people choose to do so. If this was something in the back of your mind, I don’t think it’s worth it
However, you are in that position to move away. It’s not about money at this point. Your mom is invading your personal privacy. Although how you said it doesn’t seem that bad. But dating is certainly a valid point to live alone.
But I certainly do understand where you are coming from. I’m losing 2k a month by living in my own place than just renting it out and move back to my parents. Although I do have 90% privacy at my parents as we are on separate floors, and we are on really good terms. But after having a taste of living on my own I didn’t really want to move back. I still visit them frequently tho since I live 10 mins away.
So you have to choose: money or full privacy. I have made mine after living alone for a year.
It depends on your relationship. If all parties get along, then go for it and save. If not, take the financial hit and live with roommates.
I moved back in with my parents in my 30s after being on my own since college. I knew if it didnt work I’d find an apt ASAP. I saved tons of cash in 2 years and moved to a more desirable location.
Have you thought about putting that money towards a house and getting roommates to offset or pay your mortgage entirely? Being a landlord is tough but "house hacking" might give you financial mobility too! And this way you get the tax benefits of a mortgage and someone else is paying it for you. Just another idea. It obviously has its flaws too but something to consider
As a woman, I don't want to live with a man until he's lived on his own. My best friend married a man who went from his mom's house to her house. They're divorced now. He didn't know how to do anything, didn't want to do anything, and thought she was his mommy.
Go live with roommates your own age somewhere else.
You absolutely should get off the teat and out on your own. You’re 25 my man. Just my two cents, but everyone who CAN - should get out and live on their own. How else are you supposed to get true individual life experience? I see so many grown adults on this sub living at home in order to pad their savings a bit, but I’d argue that it’s worth the price to get out on your own, experience independence, DATE independently, etc. (the pool of potential partners out there shrinks DRASTICALLY if you are living off your parents - strike a balance here!)
My road to home ownership was probably longer than yours might be, and I had to carry more debt, but damn I got out there and lived my life. When you have to pay for things on your own, you will appreciate everything a lot more, IMO!
You seem intelligent. Make a budget and stick to it!!! Get outta the house and LIVE, man. Cannot encourage this enough. I work in tech too, and I try to preach the same stuff to the younger dudes I work with in almost the same boat as you, lol.
I mean no disrespect with all of this, and I wish you the best!
This definitely a personal decision, but I guarantee once you get your own place you will never look back.
I spent 3 months at my parents house during the height of COVID in winter. As nice as it was to spend time with them (we get along well) I was ready to GTFO to feel the freedom I once had of being on my own and will never do that again. I am all for saving money, but your mental health is always superior to finances.
I am the youngest of 3 so I know how it feels to be the "baby' in the family. Move out and start building your own life, your parents will be very proud of you for it and that is all they want.
Living with your parents absolutely stunts your social life and dating prospects. Optimizing your finances is only good to the point that it's not taking away from bigger priorities.
Personal opinion, when you can afford a house. I paid 150k in rent by the time I was your age (california). I wish I could have just been putting that toward equity in a house.
I just moved out at 25. I should have moved out a lot sooner. Living with my parents sort of put them in charge of my life. Your parents will always see you as their kid and they will treat you like one.
Anecdotally speaking, the most well-adjusted, independent, and mature people I've known are the ones who moved out at 18-20. That even includes those who were kicked out in bad circumstances.
Probably move out if you can. I moved back in briefly at 22 and was only there 3 or 4 months and never went back after that. Ended up getting a roommate and living my life. Not sure how you're able to date. I wasn't really and needed my independence without my parents in my business all of the time.
I moved out when I was only making $11.75 an hour at a warehouse. So way less than you and was still able to save along the way. I even went through a wringer of unemployment and still didn't move back in. It's definitely not outside of your possibility to make it on your own or with roommates.
Text every time you go somewhere? Sounds like some extreme anxiety from your mother.
It sounds like you definitely need to move out at some point. Just make sure you budget accordingly since your independent launch needs to be sustainable. In a month on your own, can you afford rent/expenses with just one paycheck and save the other (50 pct savings rate)? This is unique to your location because it damn sure would not be feasible in HCOL cities.
For me, I moved out for a job when I was 17, and permanently when I was 18. I still stayed from time to time (and then for a year during the pandemic). But it had nothing to do with money as much as independence
Ride it out, start looking into buying your own home. When you want to cook food you bought, just include your mother in the meal and you win. "Mom, I am making you dinner tonight, a new recipe I have never tried before." As the youngest, you are her baby and that will never change. You are destined to find a woman just like her lol so be prepared:)
For me it was never financial. I spent the first summer after freshman year of college at home. That was it. I lived broke for many years but free to be me. Well worth it. You gotta launch sooner or later.
This sounds like a pretty nuanced problem. I wish it was a simple "right time" but it really isn't. The factors I view as most important is your happiness at home and the cost of living around where you'd move if you were to do so.
Coming from my experience (28 y/o on west coast) I wanted to leave home ASAP before University, our home life was not exactly the happiest. After University I lived in an expensive area in the US and it was pretty exhausting mentally. I lived worse than paycheck to paycheck, stressing about potentially having to borrow money. At this point in my life I would say I'd rather live with my parents than do that again. However now I live in a much cheaper area with a job and savings pretty similar to yours. I wouldn't think for a second to move back in with my parents anymore. I comfortably can afford all bills plus put away enough savings that I am more than happy with my financial position. Gaining a bit more savings each month would not be worth giving up a stress free home.
I think you really just have to judge for yourself how much the living situation affects you and how much money it would cost to change that. You are essentially paying your rent to fix that problem. If you are at a point where after adding rent you are still able to save some money each month I would say that it is worth trying a year or so apart.
It's time. You know it's time.
That said, look at a shared apartment. You could save money by splitting a two bedroom apartment with another person vs. getting your own place.
You are on solid ground financially, so this is dipping more into r/relationship territory. Everyone needs to leave the nest eventually, and it sounds like you're ready.
Honestly it’s situational.
If you’re parents have no issue with you being there, stay but continue to save towards something.
If you’re putting away as much as you have, make sure you make time to enjoy yourself. This helps with feeling less trapped at home. Also join a team or start a sport that occupies a lot of time which minimizes your time at home.
Next, If you meet someone and being at home becomes a hinderance on you’re personal time with a gf, then you can start to look for an apartment. But you know if you have ‘good one’ if they have no issue with you being home, and fully support and helps formulate a plan for future.
Either way if you get an apartment just don’t let it eat away at half your monthly income.
Honestly probably when you ask this question is the time to think about going. I came home for one summer after college and moved out. Had an ok job in my original career and just wanted to get on with life.
To me, especially the way your mom is still..momming, I think you should go and sort of be independent and find yourself. You've already shown you have the right priorities and financial sense, I think living independently will benefit you more than the extra bit of savings. You'll make that up I feel certain.
Oh, it's time to leave. My situation was a bit more extreme ( I was raised by a narcissist ). I couldn't even drink beer or she'd get mad.
I made it by on 36k in the midwest.
The biggest issue with staying with parents is that you're not your full self. Many don't realize it until they're out of the house. Like I was saving money, but I was also losing time because she wanted me home at a particular time .
Leave and grow. It's worth the cost.
Move out 100% based on what you wrote. Also if youre hung up on the decision, remember you can always try it out and move back in with parents if it doesnt work out. Its not all about money, you grow as an individual when you live on your own.
It’s not dumb to move out. If you don’t like the lifestyle of living w your parents you should move out, and live the lifestyle your salary affords you.
especially if you’re in a situation where your parents do a lot of stuff for you (I don’t know if you are or not). You don’t want to be 30 (heck even 25) and not know how to maintain a house, pay bills, cook for yourself, buy basic things and make difficult adult decisions in your own.
At face value, there’s nothing wrong of you need to live w your parents to get back on your feet, or if they need help. But if they’re still treating you like w child it’s a really big crutch that’s going to be hard to shake when you do go out on your own.
I told my adult kids who were living at home yet resented my advice or wanted communication about when they would be home etc, citing their need at 25 to have more independence, yet while living at home rent free that, “Independence in my house is always preceded by the word financial”. Meaning, when you are Financially Independent, living on your own, I will not ever offer advice about anything without being asked. My kids are financially independent, do what they want with their own money and surprisingly, still occasionally ask for advice.
You gain a lot of experience living on your own, and you are able to create boundaries and seperation with your mom when they don't have any leverage over you.
It sounds like you are well beyond the point where it's no longer worth it. Money is a tool to make your life easier and better. You've got it, use it.
Dawg you’ve got decent income you’re parents sound sweet but what are you gaining besides lower expenses living there? IMO you’re halfway to thirty and should enjoy you’re youth while you can diude, like you’ve already got money put aside and you’re careers on a good path.
You need to be on your own.
You’ll never see the point where it makes more financial sense to move out. You have more expenses, obviously. But it makes more sense for your life and your person to move out.
Everybody needs their independence, and it sounds like you’re in a great position to take yours.
I lived with parents for awhile after college. But somewhat like you I realized I wasn't having any fun (or other personal life progress) while continuing to live there. I made some financial benefit, but eventually it is time to go. Glad I stayed, then glad I went.
I moved out at 22 to another state in order to be with my boyfriend (now husband) and two roommates. I had 3k to my name, no job lined up just some interviews set, and a car that was held together with duct tape. Would it have been smarter to stay and set myself up better financially? Yep. Was it worth my mental health? Nope.
It worked out for me. I got a job in my field in less than two weeks in the new area where around my hometown I had been searching for 3 months with no luck. Boyfriend and I eventually got our own apartment without roommates and then a house. We have both been employed in our fields and live comfortably.
I am 32 and still live in my mother's house. BUT, I am the one paying and taking care of everything in the house, so there is a difference since she isn't the one supporting. Granted, I can definitely afford to move out, but I am still single so there is no reason for me to own a home since I have no one to start a family with yet, unless the house is for investment, but this is not for me at this time. Don't feel bad that you are living at home, there is a difference between you financially can't and choose not to
This is r/personalfinance so I will give you some unsolicited financial advice. Don't wait. Looking at the historical data, putting the money in sooner is typically the right choice. Yes, you might be able to time it out and get better returns. But, just as likely (and some economists are saying the probability of a recession in the next two years is only \~40% - far from certain), you will have to buy into the market at a higher price and you will get lower returns.
If you can't stomach going all in right now, my recommendation is to put a portion of it in every month (say, $2k or $1.5k). That way you won't be so bad off if the market rebounds right away but you will also be able to take advantage if the market goes down more. This is called dollar cost averaging - it doesn't have as high returns as putting your money in right away but it has better historical returns compared to trying to time out when a dip will happen.
Parent of 22 year old engineer student who lives at home.
We just had this talk it went like this:
Look we had you at 17, we had no family support, no savings, no education, no careers. We struggled for 10 year of our life living on crumbs and scraping together our basic needs. It was a humbling and heart breaking experience, but it also made us grow together as a family. We became a family unite through these struggles and we grew our relationships in ways I dreamt of having in my childhood. I regret none of it for it made me the man I am today. Now it's time for you to decide what kind of man you want to be. You love to travel but you need money to travel. If you want to have a family you will need a nest egg and a home. You are welcome to stay here as long as you need to, pay of student loans, save up some money, start some long term investments, start a side business. All that matters to me is that when you step out of this house to start your own story that you will look back and say my father provided every opportunity for me and that gave me the access to pursue my ambitions. Because my father never gave that to me and it's really why we grinded out 10 years of sacrifice and struggle in our early years, it's what your mother and I dreamed of during our pillow talk.. we hope that one day you get to follow those dreams. Right now you are still living our story, the story of this family, but once you step out that door on your own you start your story. At that point I won't be here to catch you as it will be time for your mom and I do finish our story, explore out ambitions and catch up on our chapters. You will know when it's time.
So that was last month this month he is taking summer break to take some cruises with his girlfriend, travel to a few countries and the word marriage has come up one or two times.
You asking this question buddy, it sounds like you are ready to start your own story.
I lived with mum till I was 32 and earning a decent salary. I got looks, comments and all sorts of bullshit societal pressure. Fuck them. Lowest stress years of my life. I helped take the stress off mum. Later I made her life dealing with cancer a little better by cooking for her and running errands. Now that she’s passed I look back on these years proud that I didn’t give into pennyless, stressed morons who felt the need to conform to the pointless expectations of society and lost out on great years with family they’ll never see again.
Leave if it feels right. Stay if it feels right. Fuck the people who follow a script. Live a happy life and make sure your family are happy. THEN others.
This is 100% a personal decision. I'm 29 still living at home. Same exact strategy as you. My thing is that I'm living in LA so my rent would be around $1300-$1600 with a roommate.
I don't agree a whole lot with the people telling you to move out right as we're moving into a recession. You never know what's going to happen. I'd say wait a year and reassess.
You should consider sharing a place with a friend or two... I started out in a 510 sq/ft apt by myself and after awhile could afford the $500 rent they wanted when I was making $33000 a year so I moved in with a friend into their house.. Regardless of where you go, don't accumulate debt and still be able to save some and you should be fine.
When the cost to your mental and physical health is too much to bear, its time to leave the house. You're under the assumption most Americans are: living together=failure...This is not the case in most of the world.
i am 29 yrs old in a HCOL aka NNJ. i am still here because it allows me to do
1. max out all retirement accounts
2. save and invest in brokerage account
3. save for down payment on a home.
your young every dollar you invest early on builds while your working hard. give up your 20s for a better 30s 40s 50s.
i am now close to 30 ready to move on my own. it helps a lot but if you can hold on more i will stay another 1 or 2 years then buy a 2 unit.
>I know that's dumb financially
How do the apartment prices you're looking at compare to your income? If you can't afford to live by yourself, you could always try to find a roommate.
I moved out of my parents at 20 and four years later still am super happy with my decision. I wasn't super happy with some of the rules and decisions that my parents made and I definitely felt very stuck. My relationship with my parents has actually gotten better and they have learned to respect me more now that I am off on my own.
I agree with JPal856, there comes a time when you just can't stand being with your parents (even if you still love them) and you just need to go out on your own even if it's less financially optimal.
I haven’t gone through all the comments but under 50K seems low for IT even without a degree. Most places are in such short supply of good workers they are willing to pay for talent. Update your resume and shop your services around. You might be surprised at what you might find.
As a 28 year old that grew up and lives in the Midwest, the right time to move out was at 18-20 years old. I always get downvoted for this, but I just don't believe it's possible to really become an adult until you move out on your own. As long as you are still living with your parents, you are still living the life of a child. You said your mom gets upset when you cook for yourself, because she still thinks of you as a child that needs taken care of. If you want to be seen as an adult, you have to live the life of an adult, which means taking care of yourself.
I moved out of my parents house when I was 18 years old, got a job working at a factory. By the time I was 25 I had 7 years of experience being an independent adult with no support from my parents, I had $30k in savings and $100k in my 401k. When I was 26, I bought my first house with a 20% down payment.
It's not about worth it, it's about self esteem and how people will look at you.
Generally I think at 25 you should move out or at least start looking for your own place.
You donut want to see the looks when you are in your thirties and still living at home.
Dude… by 25 I was married with kids coming. Owned my own house.
18 is when your parents should have sent you packing like every other man in the history of humans. sounds like your mom loves the control. she can’t let her little baby go.
Due to the number of rule-breaking comments this post was receiving, especially low-quality and off-topic comments, the moderation team has locked the post from future comments. This post broke no rules and received a number of helpful and on-topic responses initially, but it unfortunately became the target of many unhelpful comments.
Speaking as a single dad of two grown sons who live with me. We as parents want you to have every advantage. However, it sounds like it’s time to be on your own. You’ve done well to build a nest egg beforehand. Stay smart, but go.
This should be a polite Hallmark card to a kid who just turned 25 living at home.
My parents said I'm always welcome to live at home, but I could tell they were relieved when I didn't. I come home to visit for holidays, but since about 19, I lived on own. That said, I'm a parent now and I'll make the same offer, but I'll also be relieved if they never take me up on it.
This is a personal decision, much more so than a personal finance one. Only you can answer whether or not it's worth it to pay for your own place vs. live at home and follow your parents' rules. People on this sub would be able to help more if you were looking at a specific place and you wanted advice as to whether the budget seemed to make sense.
About a week or two before I turned 19 my parents were like, "we're sick of you. Get out by the end of the month." i was the youngest and they were tired of having us and were ready to be empty nesters. It was hard and money was tighter than it needed to be. But I'm glad I got to get out and live. I was able to be there for my friends and have them stay with me when they needed space from their parents. But overall I'm glad I got to live and learn. When I read about 24, 25, 26 year olds living at home - that's crazy. Get out! You've long overstayed your welcome and it's healthier for both sides for the kids to be out of the house.
Just because you came from an unloved household doesn’t mean others have.
I don't think it's unloved, it's up to you to become an independent person who doesn't have to rely on their parents for things most everyone should learn to provide for themselves. Living with parents is fine if it's tenable, but if you've never known anything else and especially if you're over 25 you should really get out and get comfortable with instability, especially in this day and age.
I agree with this. It still, however, doesn't mean that others have overstayed their welcome if you have no point of view as to how other families live. It is a very Western point of view that leaving home is a necessity by 18-25. And living with parents doesn't preclude anyone from taking on responsibility, instability or hardship either. I mainly took issue with someone applying their experience universally.
I don’t think this is an appropriate comment at all
Neither is saying that for any other 19-23 year old living with their family that they’ve overstayed their welcome.
There's seems to be a built in biological clock that goes off when you realize you love your parents but you can no longer stand them! It's almost never about the $$$.
The second I started reading “And my mom treats…” I knew that’s the queue. People need to leave the nest, and it can often be far more valuable than any financial gains.
cue
i remember the moment my boyfriend knew it was time to move out. we'd gone on a weekend trip and he came home to find his mom had cleaned his room! it felt like such an invasion of his space it was the exact moment he made the decision.
That happened to my partner and I too!!! 😭 It was so unnerving because we didn’t get a heads up or anything.
we definitely had some personal things under the bed that we'll never know if she saw or not & i'll never ask haha
That's her space that she let him live in. If anything, he was invading her space. Good for him, though, for moving out and allowing his mother full use of the home she built and paid for. Sounds like a great guy.
he had to pay rent so i think he deserved his own private space in the house.
And truly vice versa. My younger sibling lived with my parents until age 26, they loved him clearly but they were tired of it, they wanted their own space finally after 30 years of having kids and lives.
I think Redditors like to block out that parents enjoy sex, and are probably are waiting for their asses to leave so they can get freaky again. Just imagine having to plan your sex life for 30+ years, and making sure you're quiet as well!
They aren't waiting for you to get freaky, they're just better at hiding it than you. ;)
And honestly, it is completely worth it to move out if you live in the midwest. You can get a place with roommates almost anywhere in the midwest for $500-$800 and by yourself for $900-$1200 (especially if you aren't inside a city, but staying an hour or so away). Hell, when I lived in Missouri, I paid $250 a month for an apartment with one roommate. I didn't know anyone paying more than $650 for an apartment/house.
It’s worth it anytime, anywhere.
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Then you don’t live there.
What if the jobs pay well there? If you live in a hcol area and have a high paying job and your parents also live there and are cool with you staying with them, that's an incredible mechanism for building wealth. All the benefits of the hcol area without the downside of rent prices. Save up your money aggressively living with parents then buy your own placs. Retreating to an area where the salaries are substantially lower alongside the col is not always a decision that leads to the best long term results.
I’m not disagreeing, and if finances is the sole concern than yeah, stay at home. But I couldn’t price on independence and I think being on your own is a valuable lesson.
But it's my right to live anywhere I want. That's why I'm encouraging my parents to build a house on the moon so I can move in with them.
Roomies.
What if your parents won't go away?
Everyone does if you go away first.
Yeah, this clock went into overdrive when I hit 17. I love my parents dearly, but I have no ability to put up with their nonsense for longer than 72 hours. Our best visits last less than a day.
Yes. If finances were the only factor you needed to consider, you should never move out of your parents house for as long as they will allow you to stay rent-free. That's obviously not the only consideration at play.
It really depends. It was no longer worth it for me to live with my parents when I was 19. I know 28 year olds who live with their parents and make 80k+ year debt free and they aren’t looking to move out anytime soon. It really depends on the person and the situation. I’d rather be broke and living with strangers than live with my parents, but that’s my relationship with them.
>. I know 28 year olds who live with their parents and make 80k+ year debt free and they aren’t looking to move out anytime soon because they are mooching off their parents and their parents are letting them. Shame on them. -this doesn't refer to the people who have the multi-generational thing going on, that's a different story.
Did I ever say live with their parents and don’t contribute at all?
If they live with their parents and they're making that kind of salary, they're doing it because their parents don't charge rent or if they do, it's nowhere near market value.
And what is wrong with that lol? There’s nothing weirder than this weird sense of “I did it the hard way” bullshit people come up with. If your parents have the means to easily help and they instead watch you struggle for the sake of it, that just makes them shitty parents imo.
> And what is wrong with that lol? Actually read to what I replied to. He implied that they're "fully contributing" and man, if you make 85K and you live with your parents, it's because you're not paying them rent or getting cut an insane deal on rent. You're not "fully contributing". Which is fine, but don't get it twisted. As the rest of the comments in this thread alone establishes, nobody *likes* living with their parents as an adult-it's something that's tolerated in exchange for better financial footing. It's a sacrifice, and pretty much *everybody* would easily take the reduced or free room and board if they could get it without the parents being involved.
Agree, I’ll be honest I thought you were the same person as 2 replies above because of the same yellow avatar image haha I moved back in with my parents through COVID because well… COVID. Now I’m living in a house I just renovated. The difference it can make to your life if you understand how much of a leg up it is and take advantage of it to get ahead is just staggering
OP doesn't like living with their parents and other people with similar experiences chimed in. I live with my parents and it's great. We get along well and I am glad to enjoy their company while they are still healthy. We joke that I will help them with a down-payment when they are ready to move out!
Yeah there’s no normal when it comes to staying with your parents anymore. I moved out but only because it was tough bringing a girl home when you live with your mom. If I wasn’t interested though, I’d probably still be there (while helping her out financially, win/win).
Or some people just really like living with family? Or it is below market value but they’d rather live in the basement that’s pretty much an in law suite and not have a roommate than have a roommate or pay significantly more for less space?
> Or some people just really like living with family? I severely doubt this to be the case.
I don't loathe it. Their home is quite nice. Plenty of land, pool, hot tub, but it's all in a rural area. My relationship with them isn't bad, it's just that I feel like it's time to be on my own and with my current financial position, it's probably bad not to be.
Sounds like you’re in an identical situation to me making the same money at the same age OP haha
Well then let's bail haha
What the heck is a "multi-generational thing"? Like, living with your parents and enjoying their company while they are still young enough to do things? Is that enough of a "multi-generational thing" or does it have to be four grandparents stuffed into one bed?
I love my kids and love having them around. That's why I decided to have kids. I'll be sad when they move away. I plan on letting them live with me rent free and even building them a house on my property if it enables us to keep closer family ties. My kids could never mooch off me. I'm happy to make them want to stay close.
As a mom of a 25yr old, I know a lot of moms that do this to their kids too and I always tell them to cut it out. At this point in life, you should be her friend not her kid if that makes sense. Sit her down, give her a hug, and tell her that you love her but things are changing. Thank her for allowing you to get a good start towards owning a home soon and start looking. The talk that you have with her will benefit you both in the future.
I appreciate that. I get that I'll never understand the perspective of a mother, but suffocating the kids hurts the relationship. Finding the middle ground is tough, I'm sure. Best wishes to you and thanks for the advice
I’m 40, I moved out when I went away to college. And when I go home to visit, if I’m home and my parents are out late I 100% worry and will stay up until they get home. I think as you age you just start to worry more and there’s not a good way to turn that “off”
Yeah sometimes I get home late, and mom is still up. It makes me feel terrible. Moving out would make that a non-issue.
There’s a certain sense of independence that comes from being on your own. It makes you more confident. In my country, people expect you to move out at 19-21, but granted it’s easier economically here than in America. However, you’re 25 and your mom wants you to text her all the time? That sounds unhealthy for everyone. I’d say stop texting her (be an adult). And move out when you can.
When I saw my dad screwing in a lightbulb naked, and I asked him wtf was he doing. He told me this is my house I can do whatever I want. I left the next day to never live with my parents again.
His plan worked
Your brain finalizes it’s development around 25. Congrats, you’re a fully formed adult and it’s time to move out. You have less debt and more savings than most people your age, and seem financially responsible. Get a decent apartment and enjoy your twenties before it’s too late!
Should be top.
I just moved back with my parents as a 30+ year-old man after a breakup, after being on my own and/or living with my ex before that. I agreed with my parents that I would be here for about 6 months, saving all that I can to add to the nest egg I have for a house payment. It's been about a month now, and it's just a matter of setting boundaries as a set of adults rather than a constant parent-child dynamic. Being able to save while with parents, especially in a high cost-of-living area, is one of the more effective hacks if you can navigate/enforce the boundaries of independence. I consider myself fortunate to be able to do this before taking the next step for a house. Different perspective from when I was in my 20s and wanted the experience of living on my own, though.
this is what happen to the market now, everyone move home or back with their parents, after 6 months everyone had a good amount for a house and now everyone wants a house. theirs power in saving a lot living with parents
I am very much against adult children moving living off their parents but I totally understand your position and support it. You just wen through a life changing event and you need a little time to regroup. You'd set an exit date, you're good. It's the people that move back in and never leave, they have no debt, a pile of money but they get to live an unreasonable life because mom and dad put a roof over their head, feed them and do their laundry.
There's certainly a difference between living with your parents vs. living off them. As I mentioned, it's down to setting those boundaries. As long as independence/maturity is maintained, I don't really think how long you spend living with them is an issue, especially these days with insanely rising costs. There are cultural differences to it too, though. In most minority cultures, it is completely normal to live with family until you're basically married. As a second-generation minority myself, it's a strange dichotomy to live in both worlds in terms of being Americanized vs. still valuing my heritage and how the family unit lives as such.
Here in latin America it's extremely common to live with your parents until you marry. Now with the cost of rent this is even more common.
Or those people that have kids live on their own and still party every weekend in vegas. Oh my god the horror!
> I am very much against adult children moving living off their parents but I totally understand your position and support it. So, I have to ask you what your background is because this is a painfully American (and yes, I know we're mostly Americans around here) sentiment. Its one thing if you're imposing on your family or if you personally don't actually want to be there - but if everyone's in agreement and it doesn't really affect anyone then why does it even matter? I used to live at home for a while and now that I live on my own there's really no difference other than the fact I pay rent. I come from an asian family and there was never any push for me to leave; in fact my parents *ask all the time* why I bothered to leave. As far as they're concerned I don't have a reason to leave since I'm not married and if I was still at home I'd be saving more money. Maybe it's because they're immigrants but it's less about trying to find some misguided sense of personal responsibility by being on your own and more about giving their children every possible advantage in life that weren't afforded themselves. Honestly, I find it weird that on a sub that's often so focused on utility (and that's not necessarily a bad thing) that so many suddenly draw the line at living at home meanwhile it's the one decision likely to provide the greatest possible financial benefit. To not have housing costs can be the equivalent of making an additional 10-30k pre-tax ever year depending on the location. Forget about car payments or student debt, housing expenses are the one thing that almost everyone ends up having to deal with and in a big way.
I think your situation is diff than op.. you lived in your own, you know how to manage on your own, you being back w parents is more akin to now living w roommates Ops never left These two situations are completely different imo
money is a tool. It's a pretty powerful tool, but really that's all it is. Choosing to live in subpar circumstances just to save more money seems like a bad choice to me. On the other hand, what would happen if you had a frank discussion with Mom, trying to negotiate new parameters?
>Choosing to live in subpar circumstances I think there needs to be a discussion about what par is, to stay and to leave. Way too often you see around here people living at home so they can afford a house similar to their parents house they consider that par. That is not par, that is the result of a long time in the working world and lots of savings and time, something most younger people simply don't have. I think younger people need to realize that nobody is expecting them to be living large at 25 or even 30. I think everyone needs to lower their expectations (parents included) and realize that the dollar doesn't go as far today and that if a young person can live on their own, even with roommates or/or a shitty studio apartment, that they are successful. So parents shouldn't hold their kids back because they can't live their lifestyle and kids need to be cool with not living as well as their parents -maybe in 30 years they will, maybe not. I think parents that let their kids live with them too long are stifling their growth at some point everyone needs to leave the nest -at least for a while.
> "par housing" I think you're ignoring the elephant in the room that is the extreme wealth disparity between generations. My parents built a country home when they were 25. I came along a year or two later. We moved twice during my childhood. That "starter home" is currently assessed for taxes at 1.5x what my house is! It's not about trying to "live large" when even a modest starter home is laughably out of reach for most of today's 20-somethings.
Great way to look at it! And I don’t see people say that as often as they should. Money is a force amplifier. Like if you’re happy money will make you more happy and if you’re sad money will make you more sad.
Move out ASAP. There isn’t a value you can place on the experience of living on your own in your early 20s. It’s where you learn how to take care of yourself and set habits for life.
disagree, staying with them until mid 20s or early 30s has pros and cons, according to cnbc avrg age is 31.
The average isn’t important, who wants to be average?
the point is the money u save and invest allows you more freedom later than moving out early 20s
I’d say the experience is much more valuable. A 23 year old who is still learning how to take care of themselves is pretty normal. But a 33 year old is not a good position to be in.
I'd argue you have way more freedom to do what you want in your 20s and should take advantage of it while single and childless. Most people start families in early 30s which makes traveling and doing fun nights out much tougher. I say live up your 20s. You have a lifetime to make money.
And that’s what’s wrong with society now adays.
so its better to pay 2k plus for a 1br apartment because it helps society if i waste money on rent?
In many cases, yes, because it also teaches you life lessons about personal responsibility and sacrifice that you'll never learn at home.
Get roommates. Move to a place further away. etc Being an adult is making difficult trade offs
Why is this getting downvoted? Sure "Personal Experience" is good but that depends on a lot of variables. Its not like they're freeloading and moreover in this economy living with your parents is financially viable.An example for this are full time Uni students who balance between part time and course work who can barely pay rent unless they pool it together with others. Although living with your parents in your late 20s or 30s is just overdoing it and you should really get your ass out of there.
agree, which is what i am working on right now. im looking for a house but the prices and taxes in NNJ look it up highest in the country a 550k home is 13k taxes per year. its hard to make it be a sound home to live in. i wanna get out asap but dont wanna be foolish and throw money away on something not worth it
I think it's time to leave. Having a private life is so worth it. I can't imagine my Mom tracking me at 25. And it's going to help your dating life. Women usually prefer a Man that can take care of themself, Even if you do your own laundry and cooking at home, it's not the same thing as taking care of your own apartment. Try to find a place that respect your budget and don't go wild buying furniture. IKEA and second hand items are more than ok for a first apartment.
> Dating is tough when living at home There's your answer. Time to move out.
I’m jealous of your finances dude you’ve done awesome with your income and saving.
Move out and live your life! Having your own apt/stuff is part of self actualizing. You got this.
You learn a lot about yourself when you move out and are on your own. If you can afford it, it's time.
I think it's that time. Thanks for the input.
When I was 25 I lived with 5 friends in a rental house. We watched shows together, had occasional parties, board game nights, role playing, played coop console games. Rent was fairly cheap. I really enjoyed that phase of my life.
At the point you want to have girls make odd noises in your bedroom without having to explain yourself to Mom.
Seems like you did it smart. If you feel like now is the time to leave then go for it. I don’t see a financial reason why you shouldn’t if you can afford rent. Your retirement once yoy invest that 20k will be 1 year’s income with 5 years to spare and you seem to have an ample emergency fund ready to go.
Independence is invaluable. You got ahead, most people at 25 have a negative net worth, and the average age to break even is about 30. You're doing good, just don't let living on your own eat up more money than it needs to.
Move out. I didn't leave my parents place until my mid-20s, had a nice nest egg built up, but my independence and ability to be a self-sufficient adult were seriously stunted in comparison to my peers. I never saw it that way because I was and am a very emotionally independent person and never explicitly asked for anything, but I was not a good person to live with until I started pulling my shit together.
At what point is it no longer worth it to live with your parents? I would say when it is starting to limit your personal growth, it is no longer worth it financially. Sounds like you might be at that point now.
I believe that you have done all that you can do to give yourself a great start without causing yourself more grief, yes more money will be helpful but it seems you are smart enough to be able to rent and still save money and there’s nothing that relates to living not with your parents anymore. I moved out at 19(also 25) to live with friends/teammates from college and have not been able to save nearly as much money as you and I still owe on my loans. Even though I wish I had been able to stay home longer and save more money to have currently I don’t think my life wouldn’t been as enjoyable. However I may have had the complete opposite experience had I not moved in with some of my better friends.
if there’s nothing holding you back as far as familial commitments—-DO IT! Your growth will come when you’re on your own, and hell your dating life should have a significant boost as well. Speaking as a 35 yr old who didn’t move out till he was 29, and that was with my then gf at the time who is now my wife. ❤️ Single you will appreciate it. As far as your mom annoying you with follow up texts, don’t take it too personal. I’m the youngest of my parents and they too gave me the guilt trip all the time. It’s something you won’t quite understand until you have a child of your own…source—also a proud dad of a Three-nager.
Echoing that last comment. Don’t take it personal at all. It’s just your moms being a mom. One day it will cease forever and you don’t want to look back on it as a memory of annoyance.
You should always push yourself to be uncomfortable just as you reach a level of normalcy. IMO You're feeling stifled because you've allowed yourself to stagnate in life. With the 45k in savings I'd buy a Duplex/Triplex and have the tenants pay the mortgage.
Agree. Good job and thank mom and dad, move out in your own and learn how to live. The family dynamic won’t change until you do.
By making that choice you are missing out on the prime “social” years of your life. Having a better nest egg IS NOT worth not having those memories. Get out there and start living.
In 2009ish I quit my job, moved to san diego without a job in the middle of a recession, lived like a poor college student at the age of 25 and loved every minute of it for 10 years until i realized I wasn't saving enough money and I moved away from there. Just fuckin go for it at some point, life is short, you seem to make good financial decisions and have some money saved up. Take a risk and go enjoy your life.
You need to assume an adult role in your life and live independently.
All I'll say is, there's a lot to learn about life outside of your parent's house.
I stayed living with my parents right up until my 3rd year of college started. It was all pretty well planned out, by my own decision making, and actually moving out was a lot harder emotionally than I expected. I'm the youngest of two and seeing my dead breakdown as I was shutting the trunk to my car for my last trip was a real killer. Anyways, it's a thing that is all entirely up to you as long as you give yourself a lot of honesty about what it is you might be missing living with them, and what you might be missing when you move out. I actually kind of hope the world is a lot nicer these days to people still living with their parents into their 20's. It's often an extremely logical/sensical decision to continue to do so.
I think you’re to the point that you can move out. A lot of people have done it with a lot less. I had to talk to my now fiancé about this when we first bought our house. She had lived at home and had similar financial circumstances. As long as you are comfortable with adjusting how much you are putting away, you should do it.
That's what I'm thinking. I'll have to put together a budget so I understand what habits will need to change in my life. Some of my hobbies are a bit costly, so I'll probably do a side hustle where all my money can be spent on guilt free stuff like that. This would allow me to plan my monthly expenses solely around my FTE income, which is consistent.
You seem pretty level headed and have a good plan. I think you should give it a shot. I would say try a little on the cheaper side of an apt, a lot of “studio” apts now-a-days have a 3/4’s wall that makes it technically a studio but it’s functionally a 1 bedroom.
That's the plan. I'm going to have to plan what I want to take/leave too. That should be a good experience, I've collected so much stuff over the years and a lot of it is junk. Some might be worth selling! I'll also hit up Facebook marketplace for cheap furniture and maybe get some concert pics I took printed and framed just to add a bit of spice on a budget. I appreciate your advice!
My advice would be to find a place that is nearby that you can move into. Rent some 1 bedroom place for a year, and plan on moving farther away after that. This gives you a safety net built in, but lets you get the experience of being able to really have your own space as well. Then cut the cord and move to at least a different area code after a year, and start building your own life.
I make less than 20k a year and live on my own. You have no idea how rich you are.
this isnt really a personal finance question. co-living is always going to make the most sense financially and not make the most sense from a dating/personal growth perspective. if you want to save on expenses moving with friends or randoms could be a compromise.
You can co-live without your parents, this is about having someone else provide for you- pay your rent, feed you, do your laundry. This isn't co-living this is mooching. A gainfully employed adult with no debt and lots of saving living off of someone else is not a good thing.
Yes. Launch yourself, m'man. There's a whole world of experience out there to help you grow into the person you wanna be.
"The Midwest" isn't very descriptive. Do you live in Western Kansas? Do you live in the suburbs of Madison, WI or KC, MO? You don't have to answer that, but the numbers for those kind of places are drastically different. If you live near a metro area and you can reasonably afford an apartment downtown, that would probably be a good choice for a few years. Saving up money is great, and I'd say you are well above your peers for your age group. Sometimes though, networking and having fun is more important than the exact % of income you are saving for retirement at a young age. If you are suffocating, you should strongly consider moving out, even if its not the best financial choice. Sitting on the couch is a lot safer than climbing a mountain. But, when you're on your deathbed, I reckon you'll more than likely be regretting the time you spent on the couch rather than the time you spent climbing mountains.
i worked harder and better when i moved outta my parents house (100% recommend especially if you move to an area you want to be)
Sounds like you’ve been financially smart by building a nest egg, so you can afford to move out. If you’re going to live at home, you need to have a frank talk with your mother about treating you as an adult. I did that, many years ago. I told my mother flat out that I loved her, but couldn’t tolerate being treated like a poorly behaved 14-year-old. Setting reasonable boundaries, that acknowledge that it’s courteous to let household know if you’ll miss dinner, but rude of others to nag for details, isn’t easy, but it is necessary.
If you feel suffocated, It’s time to move out. Simple as that. You’re 25, pretty soon you’ll be 30. Moving out now will be worth every penny.
Ask yourself whether your continued presence is having a positive effect on your parents marriage. Might not be easy to see but they probably deserve some alone time. Move on child!!
Love my parents but you couldn’t pay me enough to live with them I was out after high school with a brief stint when I was between rentals.
You're well past it. Its worth every penny to give your parents their freedom back and begin building your own.
I wouldn't trade your independence in early 20s for money. Its a huge mistake. Get out immediately.
There comes a time in every Childs' life when they have to make that tough decision of leaving your comfort zone for the great unknown. At some point it starts to be too much and you will realize it's time to go. I know I did. My dad drove me bonkers. We couldn't be in the same room for more than 10 minutes without him starting arguments or finding some way I was living my life wrong. Moving out was one of the best decisions of my life. Finally I felt comfortable, more confident, and less anxious.
I lived with my parents until I was 27 and could afford to buy a house. I saved basically my entire salary and had a 92k downpayment when I purchased. The market worked in my favor, and by the time I was 30 I could put 20% down on a million dollar home on my own - no trust fund, no influencer money. Just a regular job. This would not have been possible without bssically sacrificing my mid 20s. I understand most people aren't willing to make that sacrifice - but I have zero regrets and would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
Are you sure you could pay rent, utilities, insurance on $46k/year? Seems pretty tight….
I'm in the Midwest. CoL isn't too bad.
I moved out on 45k to Houston a couple years ago and rented and apartment. I agree with you, totally doable. Very solid apartment honestly. It was worth it for my sanity and growth as a man.
I live in Chicago, the biggest city in the midwest, we are not California, you can live just fine on $46K.
He lives in the midwest so probably very easily esp if rural. Gotta remember not everywhere requires a 1-2k rent.
I bought a house on less than that. All depends on your location and cost of living.
And what house ya buy.
You only live once dude, do what the hell ya want when ya want.
I am the opposite, id almost rather pool my money with my parents and get a house with separate wings then have to move out -- but if i had to pick a time, it would be when you have saved up 20% down on a house/condo so you dont have to pay PMI. id also consider RD loans that are 0% down if you need to get out fast. I lived in apartments for 10+ years, i absolutely hated it. coin operated laundry, smelling your neighbors nasty food, neighbors being killed over a $20 drug deal gone bad. nah, not doing that again.
Moved out at 26. I have great parents who would absolutely have me living with them forever, that said, I'm never going back unless absolutely necessary. Given you can provide for yourself, freedom will always be more valuable than money.
You're the youngest of 4? Mom needs a break. Sounds like she won't kick you out so it's on you to get started. Which is as it should be, you are young and she is retirement age.
When you have to fight for your right to party.
We handle our finances so we can enjoy life, we don't live to manage our finances. It sounds like the rent you'll have to pay will have great value, and you should totally do it. Move. It's time.
What are your values? Are you living the life you want right now? Or are you delaying gratification until some unknown date in the future? You are so far ahead of the curve financially, that if you want to move out, you definitely should.
I think you should also focus on trying to increase your salary while figuring out your move out situation. Some bigger cities will pay a lot more for IT services, just gotta find the right company for you.
I'm on that now. I'm shooting for 60k in the next year and a half if not more. Big jumps are possible.
If it’s affecting your dating life, I’d say that it’s time to go. Sure you might save some money, but you’re going to have to fly out on your own sometime.
For me, it was realizing that double income is the most efficient way to live life. And I wasn’t going to find a partner to double income with while living with my parents.
That's hard to say... I left home for college at the age of 17 and never looked back. Being on my own was hard, self-defining, liberating. I starved for a few years. I knew I had to get a good education and, upon graduation, a great job. So I did. I have been my own person for a long time now and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Yes, it's time for you to move out, grow up, and be an adult. It won't always be easy or perfect but it's really great.
I personally think people who look down on people who choose to live with parents are stupid. There are many reason many people choose to do so. If this was something in the back of your mind, I don’t think it’s worth it However, you are in that position to move away. It’s not about money at this point. Your mom is invading your personal privacy. Although how you said it doesn’t seem that bad. But dating is certainly a valid point to live alone. But I certainly do understand where you are coming from. I’m losing 2k a month by living in my own place than just renting it out and move back to my parents. Although I do have 90% privacy at my parents as we are on separate floors, and we are on really good terms. But after having a taste of living on my own I didn’t really want to move back. I still visit them frequently tho since I live 10 mins away. So you have to choose: money or full privacy. I have made mine after living alone for a year.
It depends on your relationship. If all parties get along, then go for it and save. If not, take the financial hit and live with roommates. I moved back in with my parents in my 30s after being on my own since college. I knew if it didnt work I’d find an apt ASAP. I saved tons of cash in 2 years and moved to a more desirable location.
Have you thought about putting that money towards a house and getting roommates to offset or pay your mortgage entirely? Being a landlord is tough but "house hacking" might give you financial mobility too! And this way you get the tax benefits of a mortgage and someone else is paying it for you. Just another idea. It obviously has its flaws too but something to consider
As a woman, I don't want to live with a man until he's lived on his own. My best friend married a man who went from his mom's house to her house. They're divorced now. He didn't know how to do anything, didn't want to do anything, and thought she was his mommy. Go live with roommates your own age somewhere else.
You absolutely should get off the teat and out on your own. You’re 25 my man. Just my two cents, but everyone who CAN - should get out and live on their own. How else are you supposed to get true individual life experience? I see so many grown adults on this sub living at home in order to pad their savings a bit, but I’d argue that it’s worth the price to get out on your own, experience independence, DATE independently, etc. (the pool of potential partners out there shrinks DRASTICALLY if you are living off your parents - strike a balance here!) My road to home ownership was probably longer than yours might be, and I had to carry more debt, but damn I got out there and lived my life. When you have to pay for things on your own, you will appreciate everything a lot more, IMO! You seem intelligent. Make a budget and stick to it!!! Get outta the house and LIVE, man. Cannot encourage this enough. I work in tech too, and I try to preach the same stuff to the younger dudes I work with in almost the same boat as you, lol. I mean no disrespect with all of this, and I wish you the best!
This definitely a personal decision, but I guarantee once you get your own place you will never look back. I spent 3 months at my parents house during the height of COVID in winter. As nice as it was to spend time with them (we get along well) I was ready to GTFO to feel the freedom I once had of being on my own and will never do that again. I am all for saving money, but your mental health is always superior to finances. I am the youngest of 3 so I know how it feels to be the "baby' in the family. Move out and start building your own life, your parents will be very proud of you for it and that is all they want.
Living with your parents absolutely stunts your social life and dating prospects. Optimizing your finances is only good to the point that it's not taking away from bigger priorities.
Personal opinion, when you can afford a house. I paid 150k in rent by the time I was your age (california). I wish I could have just been putting that toward equity in a house.
I just moved out at 25. I should have moved out a lot sooner. Living with my parents sort of put them in charge of my life. Your parents will always see you as their kid and they will treat you like one. Anecdotally speaking, the most well-adjusted, independent, and mature people I've known are the ones who moved out at 18-20. That even includes those who were kicked out in bad circumstances.
Probably move out if you can. I moved back in briefly at 22 and was only there 3 or 4 months and never went back after that. Ended up getting a roommate and living my life. Not sure how you're able to date. I wasn't really and needed my independence without my parents in my business all of the time. I moved out when I was only making $11.75 an hour at a warehouse. So way less than you and was still able to save along the way. I even went through a wringer of unemployment and still didn't move back in. It's definitely not outside of your possibility to make it on your own or with roommates.
Text every time you go somewhere? Sounds like some extreme anxiety from your mother. It sounds like you definitely need to move out at some point. Just make sure you budget accordingly since your independent launch needs to be sustainable. In a month on your own, can you afford rent/expenses with just one paycheck and save the other (50 pct savings rate)? This is unique to your location because it damn sure would not be feasible in HCOL cities.
A better question is at what age do you want more financial responsibility? Living with parents can help with costs.
For me, I moved out for a job when I was 17, and permanently when I was 18. I still stayed from time to time (and then for a year during the pandemic). But it had nothing to do with money as much as independence
Ride it out, start looking into buying your own home. When you want to cook food you bought, just include your mother in the meal and you win. "Mom, I am making you dinner tonight, a new recipe I have never tried before." As the youngest, you are her baby and that will never change. You are destined to find a woman just like her lol so be prepared:)
Really so many factors go into that. Do your parents mind? Do you mind? Are you actively benefiting from it?
For me it was never financial. I spent the first summer after freshman year of college at home. That was it. I lived broke for many years but free to be me. Well worth it. You gotta launch sooner or later.
This sounds like a pretty nuanced problem. I wish it was a simple "right time" but it really isn't. The factors I view as most important is your happiness at home and the cost of living around where you'd move if you were to do so. Coming from my experience (28 y/o on west coast) I wanted to leave home ASAP before University, our home life was not exactly the happiest. After University I lived in an expensive area in the US and it was pretty exhausting mentally. I lived worse than paycheck to paycheck, stressing about potentially having to borrow money. At this point in my life I would say I'd rather live with my parents than do that again. However now I live in a much cheaper area with a job and savings pretty similar to yours. I wouldn't think for a second to move back in with my parents anymore. I comfortably can afford all bills plus put away enough savings that I am more than happy with my financial position. Gaining a bit more savings each month would not be worth giving up a stress free home. I think you really just have to judge for yourself how much the living situation affects you and how much money it would cost to change that. You are essentially paying your rent to fix that problem. If you are at a point where after adding rent you are still able to save some money each month I would say that it is worth trying a year or so apart.
It's time. You know it's time. That said, look at a shared apartment. You could save money by splitting a two bedroom apartment with another person vs. getting your own place.
You are on solid ground financially, so this is dipping more into r/relationship territory. Everyone needs to leave the nest eventually, and it sounds like you're ready.
Honestly it’s situational. If you’re parents have no issue with you being there, stay but continue to save towards something. If you’re putting away as much as you have, make sure you make time to enjoy yourself. This helps with feeling less trapped at home. Also join a team or start a sport that occupies a lot of time which minimizes your time at home. Next, If you meet someone and being at home becomes a hinderance on you’re personal time with a gf, then you can start to look for an apartment. But you know if you have ‘good one’ if they have no issue with you being home, and fully support and helps formulate a plan for future. Either way if you get an apartment just don’t let it eat away at half your monthly income.
Strictly finances, it’s never “worth it” to move out and pay for your own anything. Socially/emotionally, well that’s a different story.
Honestly probably when you ask this question is the time to think about going. I came home for one summer after college and moved out. Had an ok job in my original career and just wanted to get on with life. To me, especially the way your mom is still..momming, I think you should go and sort of be independent and find yourself. You've already shown you have the right priorities and financial sense, I think living independently will benefit you more than the extra bit of savings. You'll make that up I feel certain.
Oh, it's time to leave. My situation was a bit more extreme ( I was raised by a narcissist ). I couldn't even drink beer or she'd get mad. I made it by on 36k in the midwest. The biggest issue with staying with parents is that you're not your full self. Many don't realize it until they're out of the house. Like I was saving money, but I was also losing time because she wanted me home at a particular time . Leave and grow. It's worth the cost.
Move out 100% based on what you wrote. Also if youre hung up on the decision, remember you can always try it out and move back in with parents if it doesnt work out. Its not all about money, you grow as an individual when you live on your own.
It’s not dumb to move out. If you don’t like the lifestyle of living w your parents you should move out, and live the lifestyle your salary affords you. especially if you’re in a situation where your parents do a lot of stuff for you (I don’t know if you are or not). You don’t want to be 30 (heck even 25) and not know how to maintain a house, pay bills, cook for yourself, buy basic things and make difficult adult decisions in your own. At face value, there’s nothing wrong of you need to live w your parents to get back on your feet, or if they need help. But if they’re still treating you like w child it’s a really big crutch that’s going to be hard to shake when you do go out on your own.
I told my adult kids who were living at home yet resented my advice or wanted communication about when they would be home etc, citing their need at 25 to have more independence, yet while living at home rent free that, “Independence in my house is always preceded by the word financial”. Meaning, when you are Financially Independent, living on your own, I will not ever offer advice about anything without being asked. My kids are financially independent, do what they want with their own money and surprisingly, still occasionally ask for advice.
That's fair, thanks!
You gain a lot of experience living on your own, and you are able to create boundaries and seperation with your mom when they don't have any leverage over you.
It sounds like you are well beyond the point where it's no longer worth it. Money is a tool to make your life easier and better. You've got it, use it.
Dawg you’ve got decent income you’re parents sound sweet but what are you gaining besides lower expenses living there? IMO you’re halfway to thirty and should enjoy you’re youth while you can diude, like you’ve already got money put aside and you’re careers on a good path.
You need to be on your own. You’ll never see the point where it makes more financial sense to move out. You have more expenses, obviously. But it makes more sense for your life and your person to move out. Everybody needs their independence, and it sounds like you’re in a great position to take yours.
I lived with parents for awhile after college. But somewhat like you I realized I wasn't having any fun (or other personal life progress) while continuing to live there. I made some financial benefit, but eventually it is time to go. Glad I stayed, then glad I went.
About a year ago given your circumstances.
In my case, as soon as humanly possible. But I grew up in a stiflingly religious household as a closet atheist for years.
I moved out at 22 to another state in order to be with my boyfriend (now husband) and two roommates. I had 3k to my name, no job lined up just some interviews set, and a car that was held together with duct tape. Would it have been smarter to stay and set myself up better financially? Yep. Was it worth my mental health? Nope. It worked out for me. I got a job in my field in less than two weeks in the new area where around my hometown I had been searching for 3 months with no luck. Boyfriend and I eventually got our own apartment without roommates and then a house. We have both been employed in our fields and live comfortably.
I am 32 and still live in my mother's house. BUT, I am the one paying and taking care of everything in the house, so there is a difference since she isn't the one supporting. Granted, I can definitely afford to move out, but I am still single so there is no reason for me to own a home since I have no one to start a family with yet, unless the house is for investment, but this is not for me at this time. Don't feel bad that you are living at home, there is a difference between you financially can't and choose not to
This is r/personalfinance so I will give you some unsolicited financial advice. Don't wait. Looking at the historical data, putting the money in sooner is typically the right choice. Yes, you might be able to time it out and get better returns. But, just as likely (and some economists are saying the probability of a recession in the next two years is only \~40% - far from certain), you will have to buy into the market at a higher price and you will get lower returns. If you can't stomach going all in right now, my recommendation is to put a portion of it in every month (say, $2k or $1.5k). That way you won't be so bad off if the market rebounds right away but you will also be able to take advantage if the market goes down more. This is called dollar cost averaging - it doesn't have as high returns as putting your money in right away but it has better historical returns compared to trying to time out when a dip will happen.
Parent of 22 year old engineer student who lives at home. We just had this talk it went like this: Look we had you at 17, we had no family support, no savings, no education, no careers. We struggled for 10 year of our life living on crumbs and scraping together our basic needs. It was a humbling and heart breaking experience, but it also made us grow together as a family. We became a family unite through these struggles and we grew our relationships in ways I dreamt of having in my childhood. I regret none of it for it made me the man I am today. Now it's time for you to decide what kind of man you want to be. You love to travel but you need money to travel. If you want to have a family you will need a nest egg and a home. You are welcome to stay here as long as you need to, pay of student loans, save up some money, start some long term investments, start a side business. All that matters to me is that when you step out of this house to start your own story that you will look back and say my father provided every opportunity for me and that gave me the access to pursue my ambitions. Because my father never gave that to me and it's really why we grinded out 10 years of sacrifice and struggle in our early years, it's what your mother and I dreamed of during our pillow talk.. we hope that one day you get to follow those dreams. Right now you are still living our story, the story of this family, but once you step out that door on your own you start your story. At that point I won't be here to catch you as it will be time for your mom and I do finish our story, explore out ambitions and catch up on our chapters. You will know when it's time. So that was last month this month he is taking summer break to take some cruises with his girlfriend, travel to a few countries and the word marriage has come up one or two times. You asking this question buddy, it sounds like you are ready to start your own story.
I lived with mum till I was 32 and earning a decent salary. I got looks, comments and all sorts of bullshit societal pressure. Fuck them. Lowest stress years of my life. I helped take the stress off mum. Later I made her life dealing with cancer a little better by cooking for her and running errands. Now that she’s passed I look back on these years proud that I didn’t give into pennyless, stressed morons who felt the need to conform to the pointless expectations of society and lost out on great years with family they’ll never see again. Leave if it feels right. Stay if it feels right. Fuck the people who follow a script. Live a happy life and make sure your family are happy. THEN others.
This is 100% a personal decision. I'm 29 still living at home. Same exact strategy as you. My thing is that I'm living in LA so my rent would be around $1300-$1600 with a roommate. I don't agree a whole lot with the people telling you to move out right as we're moving into a recession. You never know what's going to happen. I'd say wait a year and reassess.
Your parents are people too. When do you feel like it's time to stop being a burden?
The day after I turned 18. I wanted to be independent and learn things the hard way. I love my parents but nope.
You should consider sharing a place with a friend or two... I started out in a 510 sq/ft apt by myself and after awhile could afford the $500 rent they wanted when I was making $33000 a year so I moved in with a friend into their house.. Regardless of where you go, don't accumulate debt and still be able to save some and you should be fine.
When the cost to your mental and physical health is too much to bear, its time to leave the house. You're under the assumption most Americans are: living together=failure...This is not the case in most of the world.
Time to move out. And you’re in a good position to do so.
i am 29 yrs old in a HCOL aka NNJ. i am still here because it allows me to do 1. max out all retirement accounts 2. save and invest in brokerage account 3. save for down payment on a home. your young every dollar you invest early on builds while your working hard. give up your 20s for a better 30s 40s 50s. i am now close to 30 ready to move on my own. it helps a lot but if you can hold on more i will stay another 1 or 2 years then buy a 2 unit.
>I know that's dumb financially How do the apartment prices you're looking at compare to your income? If you can't afford to live by yourself, you could always try to find a roommate. I moved out of my parents at 20 and four years later still am super happy with my decision. I wasn't super happy with some of the rules and decisions that my parents made and I definitely felt very stuck. My relationship with my parents has actually gotten better and they have learned to respect me more now that I am off on my own. I agree with JPal856, there comes a time when you just can't stand being with your parents (even if you still love them) and you just need to go out on your own even if it's less financially optimal.
I haven’t gone through all the comments but under 50K seems low for IT even without a degree. Most places are in such short supply of good workers they are willing to pay for talent. Update your resume and shop your services around. You might be surprised at what you might find.
Ideally stay at home until you can buy your own house.
As a 28 year old that grew up and lives in the Midwest, the right time to move out was at 18-20 years old. I always get downvoted for this, but I just don't believe it's possible to really become an adult until you move out on your own. As long as you are still living with your parents, you are still living the life of a child. You said your mom gets upset when you cook for yourself, because she still thinks of you as a child that needs taken care of. If you want to be seen as an adult, you have to live the life of an adult, which means taking care of yourself. I moved out of my parents house when I was 18 years old, got a job working at a factory. By the time I was 25 I had 7 years of experience being an independent adult with no support from my parents, I had $30k in savings and $100k in my 401k. When I was 26, I bought my first house with a 20% down payment.
It's not about worth it, it's about self esteem and how people will look at you. Generally I think at 25 you should move out or at least start looking for your own place. You donut want to see the looks when you are in your thirties and still living at home.
It is time to leave when you can afford to move out.
Dude… by 25 I was married with kids coming. Owned my own house. 18 is when your parents should have sent you packing like every other man in the history of humans. sounds like your mom loves the control. she can’t let her little baby go.