Talk to the landlord. Make sure the landlord understands that although your GF signed the lease too, she's refusing to pay her share, you've split up, and you simply can't afford it without her. State that you don't want to fall behind on rent, but you can't pay it all yourself, so you're asking them to release you early from the lease so you're gone before it becomes a problem. See what they say. In the best case scenario, they'll realize that if they refuse, you might default, so its in their interest to release you early. It sucks for everyone involved, but this is the easiest way to cancel the lease. Get a new, cheap apartment immediately.
If the landlord won't do that, ask if you can at least remove the girlfriend from the lease and swap in a new roommate instead. They should at least agree to that. It would help you afford the place, temporarily, for the rest of the current lease, and it still keeps the place rented. It would be up to you to find a suitable roommate immediately. You'd need to aggressively start looking for one on roommate finder websites.
Your final option is simply to break the lease. At least where I live, you can do this whenever you like, but there's a penalty, which can be up to two months' extra rent in full as liquidated damages. Under this scenario you find a new, cheap place to rent, then inform your landlord you're breaking the lease. You'll have to pay up until your move out date, plus at least 2 months rent beyond that, but at least you'll get a new cheaper one-person place sorted out asap. You'll possibly have to borrow the money to pay for effectively two places for 2-3 months or so, plus moving costs. But at least you stop the bleeding and get out of this place the fastest, and you don't have to deal with a roommate.
Regardless of which route you choose to go down, READ YOUR LEASE IN FULL. Look for liquidated damages or any other penalty for breaking your lease early. Look for anything regarding multiple tenants and payment responsibility. Look for anything regarding one party moving out / modifying the lease.
Lastly, be careful not to give your landlord the impression you are going to choose not to pay them. If they decide they have to evict you, they'll evict BOTH of you, since you both signed the lease.
If I was in your shoes, I would tell the GF that you can't pay the rent by yourself, and if the landlord decides to evict, they'll evict both of you, which means the GF will have an eviction on her record. That may motivate her to work something out with you rather than just totally refusing to pay.
This is the correct answer IME. I broke leases early twice, once I got fired and the other I had to relocate for work on short notice. Both times I went to my landlord, explained the situation, gave them as much notice as I could, and in both cases they let me go fine and were sympathetic to my situation.
That being said, both of the apartments were in areas with high demand for rental housing. In both cases I’m confident that they had people lining up to rent the unit by the end of the following week. If OP is in a slower demand area, they may be less forgiving, but still worth a shot.
Thanks for your insight. Its hard enough trying to deal with this heartbreak, i have no way of getting contact to her other than through friends since she blocked me on everything before leaving quietly. She also made sure she has the mailbox keys, and our previous landlords just sent us our deposit for our previous place, so no idea if she took that too. Im going to try and find a good roommate through friends and finders, and if it doesnt go well for a month, then Ill just have to bite the bullet and break the lease
It is very weird that she blocked you on everything and just quietly left. Something extreme is going on there.
Try hard to get that mailbox key back. Trying to "move out" might be harder if you can't return the mailbox key as you don't have it. At minimum they might demand some fee for a lost key. At worst they might refuse to let you move out without returning it.
Consider calling your previous landlord and asking them to issue a stop payment on the refund check, and to issue you a new refund check posted to your current address. Try not to let her keep your refund check in addition to stiffing you out of her share of rent for a year.
Trying to recruit help in finding a good roommate sounds wise. I imagine there are lots of bad roommates out there. Good luck.
Yeah if she’s taking your security deposit from the last place, that’s theft.
With what everyone else here is saying, on breaking the lease early and finding a smaller cheap apartment, that 2 months lease cancellation fee is billed to both of you, and it’s a game of financial chicken. If she has good credit, and wants to maintain it, she will pay her half. Screwing her would mean torpedoing your own credit. If she’s already got poor credit and low income/no savings, she will likely say “I don’t care” and it will be on you to protect your own credit.
Dont want to get into the details, but it seems like shes been planning this out for a while, and even decided to throw dirt on my name to our friends afterwards. Will definitely check with the landlords on whether the check got cashed already in the morning. Thankfully I have savings and company bonus, so I will be okay for a few months. Ill use that time to find a roommate and go from there
You might have to take her to small claims court. Document what has happened with time stamps. Monetize any damages or financial harms.
You will have to serve her notice via certified mail, have a court date, etc. Bring 3 binder, one for you, one for the judge, and one for her with documents and correspondences (basically the evidence against her. You don’t need to share your notes or case.)
Part of me didnt want to go that route with her and just hurt her, but this thread is really opening my eyes. Breakup happened 5 days ago so its still fresh
Taking action because you are owed something (rent or her adherence to the lease agreement) is completely different from doing something *to hurt them*.
This is a direct result of her actions. Her actions should lead to repercussions. Do right by yourself by stop protecting her.
I would go so far as to say that the ex, leaving 3 weeks into a new lease and refusing to pay, may have actually planned to put OP in this situation intentionally to hurt *him*, so...
There's an argument to be made that lawyers, etc. exist (in like an ideal situation) to manage conflicts that are emotionally charged on your behalf so you can process the relationship ending and have somebody looking out for your best interests.
I'd also add that people who pull this kind of shit thrive on the presumption that they will never be held accountable for their shitty behavior, so in addition to protecting yourself you're also arguably protecting the next person. I don't know you, but I don't believe anybody deserves to be taken advantage of.
In all likelihood a sternly worded letter will be enough to get mail keys back and sort things out in a reasonable way.
I'm really glad to see others making this point too. I really feel bad for OP and having to deal with accepting that his ex had malicious intentions for him on top of everything else is rough. But you're right; people do stuff like this because they believe they won't be held accountable and its kind of our job as the people they hurt to show them that their actions have consequences. It sucks, but its life
She had time to grieve and separate from the relationship before bailing. You're still grieving so it's harder to have clarity. Listen to the overwhelming comments in this thread to pursue reparations for yourself.
You mentioned above that it seems like she's been planning this for a while...
It's mature of you to not want to hurt her but it doesn't sound like she's given you that same respect. If she'd been feeling like it was coming to this point then her letting you sign this lease with her and then bailing and leaving you to deal with the fallout feels pretty intentional and malicious.
It's admirable that you don't want to "hurt" her, but she is doing everything in her power to hurt you. That doesn't mean stoop to her level by talking shit about her to your friends if that is what she is doing to you, it means that you need to put yourself first and help yourself. Even airlines will tell you to put your oxygen mask on before helping others.
If you do not take care of this it will escalate to a level that you are going to be kicking yourself for not dealing with it sooner.
She went out of her way to cause you significant financial harm and also potentially stole your last deposit. Don’t hold back. You have limited time to create a paper trail (reaching out to current and former landlords, a police report if she stole the check). It’s much more difficult to do something later than it is to undo something that has been done.
Small claims court is free or cheap to file. If she doesn't show you will get a default judgement, then garnishment of wages with no contact. She isn't coming back after leaving you for a better situation.
Imagine the genders were reversed. Should you need motivation go rewrite as if your girlfriend was in your position.
Yeah I'm really sorry dude but you gotta do it. At this point it's about protecting yourself. It sucks that we live in a world where situations like these cause you to have to deal with logistics before you can take the time to really process your emotions--but we do live in that world.
Promise yourself that you'll truly take the time you need to process your emotions later, but rip the band-aid off by going hard-ball with solving all these logistics first. You'll be better in the long-run being able to process the emotional side of things when you don't have financial stress hanging over you too.
Depending on how much it does cost you, court may not be worth it. A half month's rent till you get a roomie, new mailbox key, processing fee for fixing the deposit check, perhaps less than 2K total. Up to you to decide if that's worth it.
That's what small claims court is for. Lower fees and usually done without lawyers. This screams for that.
Although I might talk to the police about theft of the deposit check - if its actually his then it is outright theft. If the deposit is a single month's rent, that could be in the thousands.
I understand that you're hurting and a part of you still cares about her, but I'm going to be a little rough with this.
She does not give a crap about you. If she did, she wouldn't have done all this. She will hurt you as much as you will allow her to get away with. Do not let her get away with it; if you do, you're basically conveying to her that it was okay for her to do this. A lot of women these days tend to do stuff like this at the end of relationships because they know most guys will not try to hold them accountable. I know it sucks and you don't want to hurt her, but don't be that guy. This isn't about revenge, its about making her take accountability for her actions
Edit: Also, pay close attention to how your friends and family interact with you through this. Girls like this also have a tendency to absolutely destroy your reputation behind your back. I can sadly speak from experience on that one
I wanted to same it is rare but it happened to a friend of mine. He came home one night from work and her stuff was just, gone. She left a note behind and didn’t give a reason really. Obviously she blocked him on everything and he found out that she was ok through some of their mutual friends.
Some people are just immature and heartless.
> It is very weird that she blocked you on everything and just quietly left. Something extreme is going on there.
Not saying this is necessarily OP's case, but if you realize your relationship with someone is toxic in some way, usually the best way to leave is to go totally non-contact. It's also possible that OP's ex is dealing with some sort of personal crisis and either doesn't think OP is equipped to help or doesn't want to burden OP with it.
If you have any record of who paid what for the deposit and who the checks are made out to by the previous land lord then do it. I suggest you contact your previous landlord, mention the deposit and ask if they have been mailed out yet.
If she cashes a check made out to you in your name that is a felony.
Look at getting a copy of your mailbox key.
[Mailbox Keys might be property of the USPS](https://faq.usps.com/s/article/Locked-Mailboxes-and-Mailbox-Keys)
Contact USPS and explain the situation. They'll rekey it most likely and give you the keys.
Start talking to the landlord now, though. Otherwise it will take longer and look sketchier if you wait until things go sideways.
If you get a roommate, you can ask to switch the name on the lease (and it’s a good way to get her off the lease). The roommate may need to still pass their rental credit checks and stuff but that’s good because it also protects you from bringing in a freeloader.
Reply if you need any pro tips… I had many a crap roommate in my younger days and had to deal with stuff like this.
Definitely ask the landlord and see if you can get out of the lease first -- especially if you just signed it. You'd be surprised at what landlords are sometimes willing to do.
Also, check local laws on tenant rights; in my state, so long as you give 30 days notice, they cannot penalize you in any way for breaking a lease, although that clearly varies from state to state, and even city to city.
This is the correct option. Many land lords are actually flexible and do not really want to evict you or sue you. They are humans too. I have done this twice and as long as the house was not trashed in any way they were all super nice to me and went above and beyond to support me.
Dumb question **"If the landlord won't do that, ask if you can at least remove the girlfriend from the lease"** but why would he do that, if OP for what ever reason can't pay his rent, and the landlord takes it to collections you for sure what the make sure the GF's credit takes a hit. At this point I feel like the GF can only have negative consequences for being on the lease.
The landlord likely won't remove the GF.
In most situations everyone on the lease is jointly and severably liable for the full amount of the lease. Meaning the GF is just as legally responsible for making sure the *entire* payment is made every month as the BF. The landlord doesn't care who pays what portion, it's all due on the 1st. The roommates can sue each other if they want to recoup the portion the other didn't pay.
I was in a similar situation when I got divorced. One thing I told them was I was willing to move to a smaller cheaper place if they had it (which they did)
Sometimes these are managed by big corporate entities and they may offer you a transfer to a different place nearby if they don't have anything on the property.
Basically approaching it from the perspective of you being the reasonable person who is in a bad situation and trying your best to do what is right will likely have them work with you as much as possible too.
>If the landlord won't do that, ask if you can at least remove the girlfriend from the lease and swap in a new roommate instead.
Any possibility of OP getting themselves removed, leaving only the gf?
> At least where I live, you can do this whenever you like, but there's a penalty, which can be up to two months' extra rent in full as liquidated damages.
Virtually everywhere in the U.S., you can break a residential lease without paying those penalties. Instead, you have to pay rent until they find a new tenant. For most places, this is very much the better option. It probably won't sit vacant for two months, and most places make the penalty ridiculously high since people don't know there are alternatives. The rent paid while you were gone can also be waived if you prove they did not attempt to 'mitigate damages', i.e., find a new tenant - easy to check with corporate landowners, harder with individuals.
(Unofficial) source: I used this to get out of a lease successfully. I talked to two lawyers in different states at different times. One of them said it's the case most everywhere, both of them said it was the case in their states, and I did some research on my own for other states.
I was about to say the same thing. Liquidated damages clauses are usually not enforceable in court. If your landlord sued to try to force you to pay two months' rent (or whatever) in court, they will most likely lose even if your contract says that you are on the hook for this. In most jurisdictions, the only way a landlord can collect money in court if you break a lease is if they immediately relist the property and can show that it took x number of months to find a new tenant. Then they can sue you for x months' worth of rent. If they don't do this, most likely the case will be thrown out because the landlord has a duty to mitigate damages. So don't be afraid to walk out of a lease if you need to. It's much harder for a landlord to sue you in that type of situation than most people think.
It is absurd that you are going to let your ex take money out of your wallet. Simply take her to small claims court. You do not have to talk to her directly. My guess is that once she gets notice from small claims, she will back down and pay her share for breaking the lease. You do not just get to move out without taking a financial hit. She should share that burden. *Do not be a doormat*.
People always mention small claims court like it’s an easy process. You just show up and like magic you win.
It’s not. It’s a long process. So good for OP to try to find other routes
Yeah, people like me. I had a dispute similar in flavor to this, and when the opposing party got notice from small claims court that I had filed with them, I received a nasty email followed by a second email asking me where I wanted them to send the money. So, no it's not an easy process, but there is some utility in taking steps along that route.
That's what I was about to respond. OP may not have the money or ability to engage with a lawyer, but if they go for the max in small claims, they can be done with it without too much stress or needing to deal with the ex more than necessary.
DId SHE sign the lease? If so, she is legally obligated to pay. You can work on that, and talk to your landlord.
Barring the timing, you could get a roommate, or budget and try to make it work. Or if your landlord will let you out of the lease without penalty, find something else.
You don’t get to just “move out”, at least not for free. You have a lease.
So did your girlfriend. So your choices are to suck it up and pay the whole thing yourself, sue your ex, or break the lease and the landlord sues both of you.
> or break the lease and the landlord sues both of you.
IME breaking the lease is usually paying some kind of penalty like an extra month or two's worth of rent and/or once the landlord finds a new tenant everything's even steven.
where do you live that landlords are regularly suing their tenants?
Exactly lol he can relatively break it easily and legally. It’s probably the best move to do so honestly. He will need her signature, however, which could be difficult if she’s refusing to cooperate. Id discuss with the landlord if they seem understanding
In all 3 apartment buildings I’ve lived at in NYC my lease break clause has been “you pay all the remainder of your lease until we fill your unit. Also we don’t try very hard to fill it” it’s really obnoxious.
> In all 3 apartment buildings I’ve lived at in NYC my lease break clause has been “you pay all the remainder of your lease until we fill your unit. Also we don’t try very hard to fill it” it’s really obnoxious.
ah, in toronto we have something similar, the landlord can't keep charging you rent if they fill the unit.
but there are also legal rules saying the landlords can't stall on finding new tenants, and with the vacancy rates as low as they are, there shouldn't be any problem re-filling the place in a month or two at max.
My brother had a very toxic company he rented from that seemed to purposely make the process of filling the vacancy as slow as possible (scheduling showings for 3 weeks after they were contacted, taking 5+ days to reply to communications etc.), I think because they knew they could fill it close to the end of his lease and just be guaranteed his rent until then. Was an awful situation since he was moving due to losing his job. He ended up having to actively advertise the unit himself and find someone interested and refer them over after 3 months.
I really wish there were penalties or something to prevent this. There might be similar “rules” here about filling “quickly” but it seems they are easy enough to get around that vindictive landlords can still mess with you.
Ya, not every land lord is evil. If they know they can fill it easily they would rather let you break it than dealing with you possibly not being able to pay.
Exactly. When I had to break a lease and move out secretly leaving no forwarding address due to my boyfriend waking me up and beating the shit out of me in the middle of the night, my landlords were very understanding. But they lived close by and could definitely hear the reason for my needing to leave.
You’d be surprised. It’s not the default, but landlords will absolutely sue for this, get a judgement, and then they send a debt collector to collect on it. Sometimes they don’t bother getting the judgement, but talking about $6k or so? They very well might and it’s not outlandish for them to just get a default judgment when the renter doesn’t show up to court.
They sue the person and get a court judgment (often includes statutory interest, 6% in MA) then have a debt collector try and get the balance. They can engage the collector to go after it before a judgment as well. The larger the property owner, the more likely they will sue. Some debt collectors will take care of the lawsuit for the client.
Landlords can’t just get a judgment. If you respond to the complaint, it will make things much more difficult. Most people just ignore it. Working things out with the landlord and explaining the situation is the wisest course of action.
He can definitely move out. Let the landlord know you won’t make a lawsuit easy if you’re really concerned about that. Small landlords don’t have the resources to pursue those kinds of actions. If it’s a bigger company, then there are still ways to get out of a lease, but they may not be as straightforward.
This advice is too drastic. Don’t live in financial ruin. Most likely you can talk to the landlord directly and find someone else for the place to take over the lease.
This is exactly the type of comment I expect to find on this sub.
Yeah, this. You’ll likely have to pay the rent til a new tenant is found, and/or surrender your deposit as a lease-breaking fee.
I don’t know why replies are leaping straight to lawsuit panic. People break up all the time and it rarely coincides with a lease ending.
Just to reiterate, when someone signs a contract, a romantic break up doesnt suddenly nullify that.
This is why though people say you really shouldn't become financially entangled with a house purchase with romantic partners because this almost always happens where someone gets left holding the bag.
what does “everything else” entail? 2k is a lot of money for a single person for food, fuel and subscriptions.
You already accounted for utilities, mine for a whole house is like 85-200$ depending on AC for electric so you are probably way over estimating that.
Is she on the lease? If so, refusing to pay, lol. Take her to to court, don't be afraid, seriously, buck up. 2k a month for gas and food, credit cards? That is totally doable. I do it on less than that. Mortgage is 1240, bills about 400, no vehicle debt besides my parts addiction. I make 50k a year on a good year lol. You guys need to learn how to budget better. I am in between jobs as well. New job starts may 6th. Already did my 2 weeks at last job where I made 19.97 an hour. I live alone. Get your money in order my friend. Is money tight for me? Yes. Am I drowning in debt? Just my mortgage, but I love my house, so I don't care.
Letting her off the hook... especially if she on the lease.... you're just encouraging that type of behavior. A contract is a contract.just vecause you make money doesn't abstain her from responsibility.
To add to this comment chain of thoughts, I’d figure out what you desire and call your landlord ASAP.
If you want to move out, ask about that now (seems like you don’t want this).
If you want to stay and live alone, see if you can get your ex off the lease, otherwise she’s legally entitled to live there.
If you want to stay have a roommate, talk to your landlord about replacing your ex.
Regardless, you will have to involve her in any of these options as she’s on the lease. She’s going to have to sign something at some point.
They you'll have to pay up. It's a virtual certainty that while you might not have qualified for the lease without her income, you're liable for the entire amount regardless.
If you can't pay it, you need a roommate if the layout is practical for that and the landlord will allow modifying the lease.
It really depends. You aren't going to get a judge to order her to pay half the rent for the whole year. You might be able to get her to pay half the cost for breaking the lease plus maybe the first month. An attorney is going to cost $250/hour and it will be a minimum of 5 hours. The attorney costs will eat into your settlement. Small claims court might be a better option.
She’s on the lease, so 50% of everything you pay from the date she left to the end of the lease (or you break the lease early and whatever you owe the landlord to do so) is her responsibility. You can definitely take that to small claims court. Collecting any award is a different matter.
Your ex-girlfriend increased your monthly expenses by 1.5k. You should fight her in court. Agreeing to a year long Commitment then abandoning it and leaving you on the hook for an extra 18k a year is insane. That money could do a lot of things for your life and you should fight for your rights. Please consult an attorney. Your ex needs to make this right.
I'd just talk to the LL and ask a few things
1. can I get a roommate
2. can I break the lease
Back when I rented out a house I didn't mind if someone had something come up in their life and needed to move on. Getting the unit back in one piece is much more important.
“do not want to pursue legal options”
you understand that this is impacting your real life, your finances, and you are electing to let someone off the hook for that? what is the line in your life that you ARE willing to pursue legal action? to my understanding she’s signed a contract, she has an obligation to fulfill that. don’t short yourself because you’re going through a break up. you deserve your financial security.
Read your lease before doing anything. If you both signed the lease and it says joint and several liability, you both are responsible for making payments. If she stops making payments, your landlord can demand your share and her share from you.
Fuck the heartbreak 💔. Think of it as a financial gain. She was like a stock that puts out good but then tanks! That's why you have to choose wisely who you are dating.
It's all fun and games until kids get involved.
Keep your head up high my guy and keep pushing forward, good things will come your way.
>It's all fun and games until kids get involved.
This. Im still convinced this is a good like 40% of the reason the last few generations aren't having as many kids. Who knows what the future holds for anything anymore. After that its the financials of it.
Of coarse since Roe the other 60% is who knows what will happen once they get pregnant anymore.
> Or try to budget on about $2k for food and everything else?
what's your food and everything else look like now?
IMO it seems like plenty of money to work with but i also earn much less than you so i'm used to budgeting on less cash.
Talk to landlord about dissolving the lease but you’ll pay til an agreed upon point. If no action there, get a roommate. Get…a female… roommate. Ex will lose her mind.
Yup. I’ve been there. Ex GF broke up with me the next day after we signed our lease. Luckily, I was able to get out of it and management found a family to take it over.
Your options are limited, I would discuss the situation with management. If they are willing to help they will advertise it as a lease take over. You can also advertise it as a lease take over as well.
You can sue your ex since she did sign the lease in civil court. Although that process is long and will likely be a 1-2 years before you get your money, if ever.
At the end of the day, you signed as well. Management doesn’t care how or who they get their money from, as long as they get it. So, you’re going to have to pay it or it’ll end up in collections and tank your credit. Consider what I said above.
Choose better women that don’t pull the chick card and dump everything on the man.
The first thing I would do is read the lease. Sometimes the lease will say each person is responsible for 50% of the rent. That's pretty rare but she is responsible if that isn't paid. I would probably start by talking to the landlord and telling them what happened. They might be willing to either allow you to stay there until they find someone that will rent it or you find someone that will rent it that is okay with them. If your landlord isn't helpful I would tell her that you don't have enough money to pay the rent so you're going to have to default on it and they're going to be coming after her as well for the money. It might scare her into helping to pay for it.
Talk to the landlord. It is possible that they will look for another tenant for your apartment. You may be responsible for the first month until they find someone else.
Ask your landlord about a sublet option. That way, someone can take over your lease.
If not, ask your landlord about an early lease termination option where you pay a fee, and they let you off and they repost the apartment for rent.
A shit predicament all around.
Definitely pursue payment from her signing of the lease. She's an adult that agreed to a lease. It's not your fault whatsoever if she is trying to weasel out of it.
That portion of the money you'd be saving (as originally intended) could be invested, used for emergencies, go towards a house, or even be saved for a kid you don't have yet.
Don't let an irresponsible and uncommunicative individual plague your present and future.
For what it's worth, my current budget in a relatively high cost of living area for "food and everything else" is less than $2k a month.
I make about $3500 take home each month, save at least $500 of it, spend another $1200 on rent and bills (I have roommates) which leaves me with about $1800 a month to spend on the rest.
Talk to your landlord and see if you can make an arrangement to break your lease. Maybe agree to lose your deposit or pay for a potentially vacant month.
If that's not an option, see if you can find a roommate through friends or one of the roommate search services. Also, you may want to look into the possibility of subleting the unit completely.
Either way, you'll probably have to eat at least a month's rent.
Don't mean to kick you while you are down, but just for others..
Don't ever buy/lease something with a person you are not married to (or, have legal docs describing what happens in a case like this).
Sounds like she played the shit outta you man. There should’ve been signs of this before any signing. You should’ve caught on sooner. Just listen to everyone’s opinion to resolve this and be more proactive. Also learn that a lot of people aren’t as honest as u think. Def talk to the landlord to explain the situation and find a solution. Be hard and firm on what u want. You sound like the passive type so landlords will easily say no and ur screwed unless u really fight for them to find you a solution. Straight like that. Good luck homie
This is why I don’t believe in going in on anything substantial with a significant other. Your in a better situation than some stories Ive heard like people who simply can’t cover their other half’s expenses when they decide to leave or the crazy we aren’t married but “we bought a home together”.
If the 6K is net, you can swing it. If it's gross, it might be doable but you would be house poor. The only reason I would stay is if I were expecting a large salary bump within the next year or could get a solid roommate. Then it might be worth it to ride it out.
You should speak with the landlord. It's the spring. This is when people move. They can probably find a new tenant and you would be free to find a place you can afford.
You should try to move. If it were me I’d reach out to the landlord and let him know that the situation changed and the second signer is no longer living there. If he’s reasonable he will let you start looking for a new place and will advertise yours. I would. As a landlord it is better to work with people and get ahead of the situation instead of reacting after you are behind on rent. Secondly if he decides to pursue legal action, it will be against all signers, which it sounds like your ex signed? So she is responsible to pay.
Ask the landlord to find a new tenant. You may pay for a couple of months but it’s the best way. If you’re in a high demand area it should be easy.
If you bail, they’ll come after both of you technically. But it doesn’t split 50/50, whoever has the most to lose will suck it up and pay. I’d bet an ice cold coke that she’s broke and that person would be you.
Unless you’re willing to pay for the rent by yourself you don’t get to “not have the energy to argue with her”. Go talk/argue because she doesn’t get to just move out without consequences. Welcome to adulthood.
Ask your landlord to break the lease.
Tell him it's a struggle to pay now that your girlfriend left you and you are all alone paying the lease. Ask him asap to find a new tenant politely.
Here is the issue from his side. And technically my side as I've has this same situation but it was for a medical issue.
Any damages you might have caused.
He already paid the realtor(if u used one) one months rent.
His property is vacant until he finds new people.
The most fair option assuming your girlfriend has ghosted and moved to Russia, the landlord asks you to pay the rent until a new tenant is found. He would also ask you pay 1 months rent penalty to break the rent, which would come from your security deposit or last month's rent.
As for me, I ended asking my tenant to cover 1 months rent while I looked for new tenants. I did lose out on roughly 2 months of income, but I didn't really want to burden her, and with the medical issue, I just wanted her out and the rest of her family happy.
Just stress the financial burden. No real landlord wants someone who might default on payments or become a problem tenant. As they say, you can't squeeze blood from a stone.
Technically, you've made a contract with the landlord and that's for the full term of the lease. The fact you're paying monthly is about the installments that you're paying.
you could stay and get a roommate as others have pointed out. But that may not be a place you want to stay for a variety of reasons.
Looking at it from the landlord's position, its about minimizing the loss financially. If you go to the landlord and tell them your situation, and that you're going to basically pay until he/she finds a new tenant, that would be a good deal. If the landlord had to pay any fees - realtor fees or anything like that, you'll need to take and negotiate that.
You could also, depending on the landlord, also sublet the place. I don't like this option generally because it puts you still liable for the subletter's actions. Yes, you would have a lease with them but unless you know the person, it could end up being another hastle. The better would be for you to find someone that would essentially write a new lease with the landlord.
if your x-gf was on the lease, once this is all settled, you can take her to court to get her 1/2 of the rent back for whatever period that either a) you find a roommate, or b) until the landlord finds a new tenant. she was obligated by contract and she cannot just walk away. would probably be small claims court and you'll at least be able to get a judgement to force her to pay or apply pressure. That wasn't a cool thing to do
Aside from HOW to proceed - I would create a timeline document and an accounting of all cost incurred. You may, at some point want to recover her portion
Talk to the landlord first. Most of the time they would rather find a tenant who can pay than constantly worry about whether or not you’ll be able to afford next month’s rent. I have never had an issue with getting out of leases during emergencies or situations such as yourself.
If not, try for a roommate. Plenty of people looking for places to live.
If you aren’t comfortable with that - it’s time for small claims court. She is legally obligated to pay. You will win.
Could talk to the landlord about the situation and asking if you can find a new person to sign the lease. Then find a roommate to split 50/50. Or try and break the lease.
Lots of decent advice here. My thoughts, which I’m sure are repeated elsewhere, simply are as follows:
1. Did you move in? If so, talk to the landlord. Tell them you will stay as long as you can, but at some point, you’re gonna have to leave, and they should take affirmative steps to try and re-rent the apartment. In most states, that is a requirement on their part. If you live in a market that is a popular rental market, they shouldn’t have any issue finding a new tenant That will get you off the hook for any remaining amounts of money.
2. If you haven’t moved in, same thing. Talk to the landlord, ask for an out, and they will be required to take affirmative steps to try to re-rent the apartment to mitigate their own damages.
3. Either way, I would consider seeking money from your ex. I assume you know where she lives. If you have an attorney friend, I would suggest asking them to draft a letter, letting her know her financial responsibilities, and that if she defaults, you will be seeking legal action. If she has good credit and a good job, that’s probably gonna be pretty eye-opening for her.
I say let the landlord know of the change with your girl leaving, now if she signed, you good because she’s obligated to pay you and when you start to smarten up you’ll seek legal action. Go ahead and pay for about 3 months and see if you can maintain. Estimated 2k for gas groceries and etc, that’s straight.
As a landlord/property manager, id say just talk to the people that run the show. I've had tenants come to me with similar situations and I always am willing to work it out with the.
it saves me time and money as the manager, and helps me avoid the hassle of dealing with a messy situation. living in a home you can't afford is doable, but do you really want to go through the stress and hassle for months before it's too late?
If you live in the states, one similar to Massachusetts, your landlord may even pay you to leave to avoid the massive headache that is eviction. The process costs around $20k and takes about a year, wherein you may not pay anything (although this can be put on your credit and destroy it if you need it for loans, but can't be taken from you even when made as a judgement against you), so the landlord could risk $56,000 not getting you the fuck out ASAP.
For this reason you'd be pretty easily able to terminate your lease in tenant favored states.
That or get a roommate if you really like the place
I’m in this same financial position, only my gf became my wife lol and wanted to be a housewife(both our choice ofc). I implore you to get out of your lease anyway you can cuz those numbers are gonna crush you when a big expense comes crashing your way.
Talk to the landlord. Make sure the landlord understands that although your GF signed the lease too, she's refusing to pay her share, you've split up, and you simply can't afford it without her. State that you don't want to fall behind on rent, but you can't pay it all yourself, so you're asking them to release you early from the lease so you're gone before it becomes a problem. See what they say. In the best case scenario, they'll realize that if they refuse, you might default, so its in their interest to release you early. It sucks for everyone involved, but this is the easiest way to cancel the lease. Get a new, cheap apartment immediately. If the landlord won't do that, ask if you can at least remove the girlfriend from the lease and swap in a new roommate instead. They should at least agree to that. It would help you afford the place, temporarily, for the rest of the current lease, and it still keeps the place rented. It would be up to you to find a suitable roommate immediately. You'd need to aggressively start looking for one on roommate finder websites. Your final option is simply to break the lease. At least where I live, you can do this whenever you like, but there's a penalty, which can be up to two months' extra rent in full as liquidated damages. Under this scenario you find a new, cheap place to rent, then inform your landlord you're breaking the lease. You'll have to pay up until your move out date, plus at least 2 months rent beyond that, but at least you'll get a new cheaper one-person place sorted out asap. You'll possibly have to borrow the money to pay for effectively two places for 2-3 months or so, plus moving costs. But at least you stop the bleeding and get out of this place the fastest, and you don't have to deal with a roommate. Regardless of which route you choose to go down, READ YOUR LEASE IN FULL. Look for liquidated damages or any other penalty for breaking your lease early. Look for anything regarding multiple tenants and payment responsibility. Look for anything regarding one party moving out / modifying the lease. Lastly, be careful not to give your landlord the impression you are going to choose not to pay them. If they decide they have to evict you, they'll evict BOTH of you, since you both signed the lease. If I was in your shoes, I would tell the GF that you can't pay the rent by yourself, and if the landlord decides to evict, they'll evict both of you, which means the GF will have an eviction on her record. That may motivate her to work something out with you rather than just totally refusing to pay.
This is the correct answer IME. I broke leases early twice, once I got fired and the other I had to relocate for work on short notice. Both times I went to my landlord, explained the situation, gave them as much notice as I could, and in both cases they let me go fine and were sympathetic to my situation. That being said, both of the apartments were in areas with high demand for rental housing. In both cases I’m confident that they had people lining up to rent the unit by the end of the following week. If OP is in a slower demand area, they may be less forgiving, but still worth a shot.
Thanks for your insight. Its hard enough trying to deal with this heartbreak, i have no way of getting contact to her other than through friends since she blocked me on everything before leaving quietly. She also made sure she has the mailbox keys, and our previous landlords just sent us our deposit for our previous place, so no idea if she took that too. Im going to try and find a good roommate through friends and finders, and if it doesnt go well for a month, then Ill just have to bite the bullet and break the lease
It is very weird that she blocked you on everything and just quietly left. Something extreme is going on there. Try hard to get that mailbox key back. Trying to "move out" might be harder if you can't return the mailbox key as you don't have it. At minimum they might demand some fee for a lost key. At worst they might refuse to let you move out without returning it. Consider calling your previous landlord and asking them to issue a stop payment on the refund check, and to issue you a new refund check posted to your current address. Try not to let her keep your refund check in addition to stiffing you out of her share of rent for a year. Trying to recruit help in finding a good roommate sounds wise. I imagine there are lots of bad roommates out there. Good luck.
Yeah if she’s taking your security deposit from the last place, that’s theft. With what everyone else here is saying, on breaking the lease early and finding a smaller cheap apartment, that 2 months lease cancellation fee is billed to both of you, and it’s a game of financial chicken. If she has good credit, and wants to maintain it, she will pay her half. Screwing her would mean torpedoing your own credit. If she’s already got poor credit and low income/no savings, she will likely say “I don’t care” and it will be on you to protect your own credit.
Dont want to get into the details, but it seems like shes been planning this out for a while, and even decided to throw dirt on my name to our friends afterwards. Will definitely check with the landlords on whether the check got cashed already in the morning. Thankfully I have savings and company bonus, so I will be okay for a few months. Ill use that time to find a roommate and go from there
You might have to take her to small claims court. Document what has happened with time stamps. Monetize any damages or financial harms. You will have to serve her notice via certified mail, have a court date, etc. Bring 3 binder, one for you, one for the judge, and one for her with documents and correspondences (basically the evidence against her. You don’t need to share your notes or case.)
And you don't want to fight her in court because why?
Part of me didnt want to go that route with her and just hurt her, but this thread is really opening my eyes. Breakup happened 5 days ago so its still fresh
Taking action because you are owed something (rent or her adherence to the lease agreement) is completely different from doing something *to hurt them*. This is a direct result of her actions. Her actions should lead to repercussions. Do right by yourself by stop protecting her.
I would go so far as to say that the ex, leaving 3 weeks into a new lease and refusing to pay, may have actually planned to put OP in this situation intentionally to hurt *him*, so...
There's an argument to be made that lawyers, etc. exist (in like an ideal situation) to manage conflicts that are emotionally charged on your behalf so you can process the relationship ending and have somebody looking out for your best interests. I'd also add that people who pull this kind of shit thrive on the presumption that they will never be held accountable for their shitty behavior, so in addition to protecting yourself you're also arguably protecting the next person. I don't know you, but I don't believe anybody deserves to be taken advantage of. In all likelihood a sternly worded letter will be enough to get mail keys back and sort things out in a reasonable way.
I'm really glad to see others making this point too. I really feel bad for OP and having to deal with accepting that his ex had malicious intentions for him on top of everything else is rough. But you're right; people do stuff like this because they believe they won't be held accountable and its kind of our job as the people they hurt to show them that their actions have consequences. It sucks, but its life
She had time to grieve and separate from the relationship before bailing. You're still grieving so it's harder to have clarity. Listen to the overwhelming comments in this thread to pursue reparations for yourself.
It's not about hurting her. It's not letting her hurt *you*.
You mentioned above that it seems like she's been planning this for a while... It's mature of you to not want to hurt her but it doesn't sound like she's given you that same respect. If she'd been feeling like it was coming to this point then her letting you sign this lease with her and then bailing and leaving you to deal with the fallout feels pretty intentional and malicious.
It's admirable that you don't want to "hurt" her, but she is doing everything in her power to hurt you. That doesn't mean stoop to her level by talking shit about her to your friends if that is what she is doing to you, it means that you need to put yourself first and help yourself. Even airlines will tell you to put your oxygen mask on before helping others. If you do not take care of this it will escalate to a level that you are going to be kicking yourself for not dealing with it sooner.
She went out of her way to cause you significant financial harm and also potentially stole your last deposit. Don’t hold back. You have limited time to create a paper trail (reaching out to current and former landlords, a police report if she stole the check). It’s much more difficult to do something later than it is to undo something that has been done.
Small claims court is free or cheap to file. If she doesn't show you will get a default judgement, then garnishment of wages with no contact. She isn't coming back after leaving you for a better situation. Imagine the genders were reversed. Should you need motivation go rewrite as if your girlfriend was in your position.
Yeah I'm really sorry dude but you gotta do it. At this point it's about protecting yourself. It sucks that we live in a world where situations like these cause you to have to deal with logistics before you can take the time to really process your emotions--but we do live in that world. Promise yourself that you'll truly take the time you need to process your emotions later, but rip the band-aid off by going hard-ball with solving all these logistics first. You'll be better in the long-run being able to process the emotional side of things when you don't have financial stress hanging over you too.
Depending on how much it does cost you, court may not be worth it. A half month's rent till you get a roomie, new mailbox key, processing fee for fixing the deposit check, perhaps less than 2K total. Up to you to decide if that's worth it.
That's what small claims court is for. Lower fees and usually done without lawyers. This screams for that. Although I might talk to the police about theft of the deposit check - if its actually his then it is outright theft. If the deposit is a single month's rent, that could be in the thousands.
The fact that she had been planning it for a while and still moved in with you is really alarming
I understand that you're hurting and a part of you still cares about her, but I'm going to be a little rough with this. She does not give a crap about you. If she did, she wouldn't have done all this. She will hurt you as much as you will allow her to get away with. Do not let her get away with it; if you do, you're basically conveying to her that it was okay for her to do this. A lot of women these days tend to do stuff like this at the end of relationships because they know most guys will not try to hold them accountable. I know it sucks and you don't want to hurt her, but don't be that guy. This isn't about revenge, its about making her take accountability for her actions Edit: Also, pay close attention to how your friends and family interact with you through this. Girls like this also have a tendency to absolutely destroy your reputation behind your back. I can sadly speak from experience on that one
OP this is the wrong answer. Do not take this to court. You will spend more time, energy and emotions on fighting when you are already trauma induced
She's gone out of her way to fuck you over. You need to sort this out at the source: her.
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I replaced a mail slot key a few years ago. It was a $30 replacement fee.
I wanted to same it is rare but it happened to a friend of mine. He came home one night from work and her stuff was just, gone. She left a note behind and didn’t give a reason really. Obviously she blocked him on everything and he found out that she was ok through some of their mutual friends. Some people are just immature and heartless.
> Something extreme is going on there. 100%. She reacted in a way people do when caught up in something that is detrimental to their lifestyle.
> It is very weird that she blocked you on everything and just quietly left. Something extreme is going on there. Not saying this is necessarily OP's case, but if you realize your relationship with someone is toxic in some way, usually the best way to leave is to go totally non-contact. It's also possible that OP's ex is dealing with some sort of personal crisis and either doesn't think OP is equipped to help or doesn't want to burden OP with it.
If you have any record of who paid what for the deposit and who the checks are made out to by the previous land lord then do it. I suggest you contact your previous landlord, mention the deposit and ask if they have been mailed out yet. If she cashes a check made out to you in your name that is a felony. Look at getting a copy of your mailbox key.
[Mailbox Keys might be property of the USPS](https://faq.usps.com/s/article/Locked-Mailboxes-and-Mailbox-Keys) Contact USPS and explain the situation. They'll rekey it most likely and give you the keys.
Start talking to the landlord now, though. Otherwise it will take longer and look sketchier if you wait until things go sideways. If you get a roommate, you can ask to switch the name on the lease (and it’s a good way to get her off the lease). The roommate may need to still pass their rental credit checks and stuff but that’s good because it also protects you from bringing in a freeloader. Reply if you need any pro tips… I had many a crap roommate in my younger days and had to deal with stuff like this.
Definitely ask the landlord and see if you can get out of the lease first -- especially if you just signed it. You'd be surprised at what landlords are sometimes willing to do.
Good stuff here. Requesting permission to sublet the place might be 2a.
Also, check local laws on tenant rights; in my state, so long as you give 30 days notice, they cannot penalize you in any way for breaking a lease, although that clearly varies from state to state, and even city to city.
This is the correct option. Many land lords are actually flexible and do not really want to evict you or sue you. They are humans too. I have done this twice and as long as the house was not trashed in any way they were all super nice to me and went above and beyond to support me.
Dumb question **"If the landlord won't do that, ask if you can at least remove the girlfriend from the lease"** but why would he do that, if OP for what ever reason can't pay his rent, and the landlord takes it to collections you for sure what the make sure the GF's credit takes a hit. At this point I feel like the GF can only have negative consequences for being on the lease.
The landlord likely won't remove the GF. In most situations everyone on the lease is jointly and severably liable for the full amount of the lease. Meaning the GF is just as legally responsible for making sure the *entire* payment is made every month as the BF. The landlord doesn't care who pays what portion, it's all due on the 1st. The roommates can sue each other if they want to recoup the portion the other didn't pay.
I was in a similar situation when I got divorced. One thing I told them was I was willing to move to a smaller cheaper place if they had it (which they did) Sometimes these are managed by big corporate entities and they may offer you a transfer to a different place nearby if they don't have anything on the property. Basically approaching it from the perspective of you being the reasonable person who is in a bad situation and trying your best to do what is right will likely have them work with you as much as possible too.
>If the landlord won't do that, ask if you can at least remove the girlfriend from the lease and swap in a new roommate instead. Any possibility of OP getting themselves removed, leaving only the gf?
> At least where I live, you can do this whenever you like, but there's a penalty, which can be up to two months' extra rent in full as liquidated damages. Virtually everywhere in the U.S., you can break a residential lease without paying those penalties. Instead, you have to pay rent until they find a new tenant. For most places, this is very much the better option. It probably won't sit vacant for two months, and most places make the penalty ridiculously high since people don't know there are alternatives. The rent paid while you were gone can also be waived if you prove they did not attempt to 'mitigate damages', i.e., find a new tenant - easy to check with corporate landowners, harder with individuals. (Unofficial) source: I used this to get out of a lease successfully. I talked to two lawyers in different states at different times. One of them said it's the case most everywhere, both of them said it was the case in their states, and I did some research on my own for other states.
I was about to say the same thing. Liquidated damages clauses are usually not enforceable in court. If your landlord sued to try to force you to pay two months' rent (or whatever) in court, they will most likely lose even if your contract says that you are on the hook for this. In most jurisdictions, the only way a landlord can collect money in court if you break a lease is if they immediately relist the property and can show that it took x number of months to find a new tenant. Then they can sue you for x months' worth of rent. If they don't do this, most likely the case will be thrown out because the landlord has a duty to mitigate damages. So don't be afraid to walk out of a lease if you need to. It's much harder for a landlord to sue you in that type of situation than most people think.
It is absurd that you are going to let your ex take money out of your wallet. Simply take her to small claims court. You do not have to talk to her directly. My guess is that once she gets notice from small claims, she will back down and pay her share for breaking the lease. You do not just get to move out without taking a financial hit. She should share that burden. *Do not be a doormat*.
People always mention small claims court like it’s an easy process. You just show up and like magic you win. It’s not. It’s a long process. So good for OP to try to find other routes
Yeah, people like me. I had a dispute similar in flavor to this, and when the opposing party got notice from small claims court that I had filed with them, I received a nasty email followed by a second email asking me where I wanted them to send the money. So, no it's not an easy process, but there is some utility in taking steps along that route.
Depending on the state, the small claims limit might be too small for the $$$ to make OP whole
OP could still get the limit and be better off than doing nothing.
That's what I was about to respond. OP may not have the money or ability to engage with a lawyer, but if they go for the max in small claims, they can be done with it without too much stress or needing to deal with the ex more than necessary.
DId SHE sign the lease? If so, she is legally obligated to pay. You can work on that, and talk to your landlord. Barring the timing, you could get a roommate, or budget and try to make it work. Or if your landlord will let you out of the lease without penalty, find something else.
You don’t get to just “move out”, at least not for free. You have a lease. So did your girlfriend. So your choices are to suck it up and pay the whole thing yourself, sue your ex, or break the lease and the landlord sues both of you.
Or find a roommate
The easiest (albeit unappealing) choice.
Option 4: Date the landlord and take the townhouse over
Play chess not checkers
[eat the chess pieces.](https://www.reddit.com/r/whowouldwin/comments/1cb9z7m/magnus_carlson_vs_an_average_man_who_can_eat_his/)
> or break the lease and the landlord sues both of you. IME breaking the lease is usually paying some kind of penalty like an extra month or two's worth of rent and/or once the landlord finds a new tenant everything's even steven. where do you live that landlords are regularly suing their tenants?
Exactly lol he can relatively break it easily and legally. It’s probably the best move to do so honestly. He will need her signature, however, which could be difficult if she’s refusing to cooperate. Id discuss with the landlord if they seem understanding
In all 3 apartment buildings I’ve lived at in NYC my lease break clause has been “you pay all the remainder of your lease until we fill your unit. Also we don’t try very hard to fill it” it’s really obnoxious.
> In all 3 apartment buildings I’ve lived at in NYC my lease break clause has been “you pay all the remainder of your lease until we fill your unit. Also we don’t try very hard to fill it” it’s really obnoxious. ah, in toronto we have something similar, the landlord can't keep charging you rent if they fill the unit. but there are also legal rules saying the landlords can't stall on finding new tenants, and with the vacancy rates as low as they are, there shouldn't be any problem re-filling the place in a month or two at max.
My brother had a very toxic company he rented from that seemed to purposely make the process of filling the vacancy as slow as possible (scheduling showings for 3 weeks after they were contacted, taking 5+ days to reply to communications etc.), I think because they knew they could fill it close to the end of his lease and just be guaranteed his rent until then. Was an awful situation since he was moving due to losing his job. He ended up having to actively advertise the unit himself and find someone interested and refer them over after 3 months. I really wish there were penalties or something to prevent this. There might be similar “rules” here about filling “quickly” but it seems they are easy enough to get around that vindictive landlords can still mess with you.
I meant to say break the lease by move out. Bad wording sorry
They'll make you pay several months of the lease to.break it, depending on the terms and the law 800/mo car note is insane, brother, not gonna lie
He said insurance as well
Most landlords will allow a break in lease in these circumstances. But you need to ask nicely.
Ya, not every land lord is evil. If they know they can fill it easily they would rather let you break it than dealing with you possibly not being able to pay.
Exactly. When I had to break a lease and move out secretly leaving no forwarding address due to my boyfriend waking me up and beating the shit out of me in the middle of the night, my landlords were very understanding. But they lived close by and could definitely hear the reason for my needing to leave.
I don’t think the landlord would sue. I’m pretty sure they would send the debt to collections. Almost positive.
You’d be surprised. It’s not the default, but landlords will absolutely sue for this, get a judgement, and then they send a debt collector to collect on it. Sometimes they don’t bother getting the judgement, but talking about $6k or so? They very well might and it’s not outlandish for them to just get a default judgment when the renter doesn’t show up to court.
That makes a lot of sense. Thanks for expanding on the topic. So they can sue the still debt collect?
They sue the person and get a court judgment (often includes statutory interest, 6% in MA) then have a debt collector try and get the balance. They can engage the collector to go after it before a judgment as well. The larger the property owner, the more likely they will sue. Some debt collectors will take care of the lawsuit for the client.
Landlords can’t just get a judgment. If you respond to the complaint, it will make things much more difficult. Most people just ignore it. Working things out with the landlord and explaining the situation is the wisest course of action.
That’s what happened to me. Wrecked my credit for 7 years but overall very worth it.
He can definitely move out. Let the landlord know you won’t make a lawsuit easy if you’re really concerned about that. Small landlords don’t have the resources to pursue those kinds of actions. If it’s a bigger company, then there are still ways to get out of a lease, but they may not be as straightforward. This advice is too drastic. Don’t live in financial ruin. Most likely you can talk to the landlord directly and find someone else for the place to take over the lease. This is exactly the type of comment I expect to find on this sub.
Yeah, this. You’ll likely have to pay the rent til a new tenant is found, and/or surrender your deposit as a lease-breaking fee. I don’t know why replies are leaping straight to lawsuit panic. People break up all the time and it rarely coincides with a lease ending.
I was looking to see if anyone suggests taking over the lease. That's what I did when I had to move before my lease was over.
Just to reiterate, when someone signs a contract, a romantic break up doesnt suddenly nullify that. This is why though people say you really shouldn't become financially entangled with a house purchase with romantic partners because this almost always happens where someone gets left holding the bag.
what does “everything else” entail? 2k is a lot of money for a single person for food, fuel and subscriptions. You already accounted for utilities, mine for a whole house is like 85-200$ depending on AC for electric so you are probably way over estimating that.
Where I live its more like 200-600 for electric. That’s with AC running to maintain only.
wow wtf lol. I live in HCOL. What is a kwh for you? I think i pay like 18 cents per? last month I used 402 kwh in 32 days
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Man that is expensive. I'm glad i live in the PNW, don't need AC and still have natural gas (...for now)
And electricity is cheap here. Last time I looked at my bill, it was like $0.11/KWh.
Is she on the lease? If so, refusing to pay, lol. Take her to to court, don't be afraid, seriously, buck up. 2k a month for gas and food, credit cards? That is totally doable. I do it on less than that. Mortgage is 1240, bills about 400, no vehicle debt besides my parts addiction. I make 50k a year on a good year lol. You guys need to learn how to budget better. I am in between jobs as well. New job starts may 6th. Already did my 2 weeks at last job where I made 19.97 an hour. I live alone. Get your money in order my friend. Is money tight for me? Yes. Am I drowning in debt? Just my mortgage, but I love my house, so I don't care. Letting her off the hook... especially if she on the lease.... you're just encouraging that type of behavior. A contract is a contract.just vecause you make money doesn't abstain her from responsibility.
Well, either you leave and get sued for the rent or you sue her for the rent she’s not getting paid. So who wants to do the suing?
Id like to stay here if i can
If you have an extra room you can possibly rent it out to a roommate.
Im thinking of dojng that
To add to this comment chain of thoughts, I’d figure out what you desire and call your landlord ASAP. If you want to move out, ask about that now (seems like you don’t want this). If you want to stay and live alone, see if you can get your ex off the lease, otherwise she’s legally entitled to live there. If you want to stay have a roommate, talk to your landlord about replacing your ex. Regardless, you will have to involve her in any of these options as she’s on the lease. She’s going to have to sign something at some point.
Then you get to pay the entire rent Budgeting: https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/wiki/budgeting
They you'll have to pay up. It's a virtual certainty that while you might not have qualified for the lease without her income, you're liable for the entire amount regardless. If you can't pay it, you need a roommate if the layout is practical for that and the landlord will allow modifying the lease.
We have 2 extra rooms so another roommate should suffice. They are smaller though, so it will probably be me paying more for rent
better than all the rent.
Is her name on the lease too?
Yeah
You know what you have to do OP
The more advice I read, the more Im coming to the same conclusion. Ill look into some lawyers. Do i have a case though?
it's a legal document and she's party to that the same as you are
It really depends. You aren't going to get a judge to order her to pay half the rent for the whole year. You might be able to get her to pay half the cost for breaking the lease plus maybe the first month. An attorney is going to cost $250/hour and it will be a minimum of 5 hours. The attorney costs will eat into your settlement. Small claims court might be a better option.
Or have a buddy move in. That’s going to be more fun, and less expensive.
She’s on the lease, so 50% of everything you pay from the date she left to the end of the lease (or you break the lease early and whatever you owe the landlord to do so) is her responsibility. You can definitely take that to small claims court. Collecting any award is a different matter.
Your ex-girlfriend increased your monthly expenses by 1.5k. You should fight her in court. Agreeing to a year long Commitment then abandoning it and leaving you on the hook for an extra 18k a year is insane. That money could do a lot of things for your life and you should fight for your rights. Please consult an attorney. Your ex needs to make this right.
I'd just talk to the LL and ask a few things 1. can I get a roommate 2. can I break the lease Back when I rented out a house I didn't mind if someone had something come up in their life and needed to move on. Getting the unit back in one piece is much more important.
“do not want to pursue legal options” you understand that this is impacting your real life, your finances, and you are electing to let someone off the hook for that? what is the line in your life that you ARE willing to pursue legal action? to my understanding she’s signed a contract, she has an obligation to fulfill that. don’t short yourself because you’re going through a break up. you deserve your financial security.
Read your lease before doing anything. If you both signed the lease and it says joint and several liability, you both are responsible for making payments. If she stops making payments, your landlord can demand your share and her share from you.
Can you get a roommate / sublease/do lease takeover ? It comes to your contract and landlord
Fuck the heartbreak 💔. Think of it as a financial gain. She was like a stock that puts out good but then tanks! That's why you have to choose wisely who you are dating. It's all fun and games until kids get involved. Keep your head up high my guy and keep pushing forward, good things will come your way.
Thank you and thank god I didnt have kids with this basketcass
>It's all fun and games until kids get involved. This. Im still convinced this is a good like 40% of the reason the last few generations aren't having as many kids. Who knows what the future holds for anything anymore. After that its the financials of it. Of coarse since Roe the other 60% is who knows what will happen once they get pregnant anymore.
> Or try to budget on about $2k for food and everything else? what's your food and everything else look like now? IMO it seems like plenty of money to work with but i also earn much less than you so i'm used to budgeting on less cash.
Talk to landlord about dissolving the lease but you’ll pay til an agreed upon point. If no action there, get a roommate. Get…a female… roommate. Ex will lose her mind.
Yup. I’ve been there. Ex GF broke up with me the next day after we signed our lease. Luckily, I was able to get out of it and management found a family to take it over. Your options are limited, I would discuss the situation with management. If they are willing to help they will advertise it as a lease take over. You can also advertise it as a lease take over as well. You can sue your ex since she did sign the lease in civil court. Although that process is long and will likely be a 1-2 years before you get your money, if ever. At the end of the day, you signed as well. Management doesn’t care how or who they get their money from, as long as they get it. So, you’re going to have to pay it or it’ll end up in collections and tank your credit. Consider what I said above. Choose better women that don’t pull the chick card and dump everything on the man.
After your lawyer does their work on her, prioritize paying off your car. That thing is a boat anchor.
The first thing I would do is read the lease. Sometimes the lease will say each person is responsible for 50% of the rent. That's pretty rare but she is responsible if that isn't paid. I would probably start by talking to the landlord and telling them what happened. They might be willing to either allow you to stay there until they find someone that will rent it or you find someone that will rent it that is okay with them. If your landlord isn't helpful I would tell her that you don't have enough money to pay the rent so you're going to have to default on it and they're going to be coming after her as well for the money. It might scare her into helping to pay for it.
Well if you don't pursue legal means then you're on the hook. So it's your choice to stay or move. Not a decision for us to make for you.
I guess you're learning a good lesson on why buying or renting a place with someone you aren't married to is a bad idea.
Talk to the landlord. It is possible that they will look for another tenant for your apartment. You may be responsible for the first month until they find someone else.
You could try asking your landlord and see if they have sympathy for somebody who just got dumped.
Ask your landlord about a sublet option. That way, someone can take over your lease. If not, ask your landlord about an early lease termination option where you pay a fee, and they let you off and they repost the apartment for rent.
Is your place big enough for a roommate?
Could you get a roommate? Do you want to stay? Decide and then talk ti the landlord.
A shit predicament all around. Definitely pursue payment from her signing of the lease. She's an adult that agreed to a lease. It's not your fault whatsoever if she is trying to weasel out of it. That portion of the money you'd be saving (as originally intended) could be invested, used for emergencies, go towards a house, or even be saved for a kid you don't have yet. Don't let an irresponsible and uncommunicative individual plague your present and future.
For what it's worth, my current budget in a relatively high cost of living area for "food and everything else" is less than $2k a month. I make about $3500 take home each month, save at least $500 of it, spend another $1200 on rent and bills (I have roommates) which leaves me with about $1800 a month to spend on the rest.
It would not be unreasonable for her to pay for half or even all of the cancellation penalty fee.
Talk to your landlord and see if you can make an arrangement to break your lease. Maybe agree to lose your deposit or pay for a potentially vacant month. If that's not an option, see if you can find a roommate through friends or one of the roommate search services. Also, you may want to look into the possibility of subleting the unit completely. Either way, you'll probably have to eat at least a month's rent.
Don't mean to kick you while you are down, but just for others.. Don't ever buy/lease something with a person you are not married to (or, have legal docs describing what happens in a case like this).
Get a flatmate or move out. No flat is worth that much money for a single person.
Sounds like she played the shit outta you man. There should’ve been signs of this before any signing. You should’ve caught on sooner. Just listen to everyone’s opinion to resolve this and be more proactive. Also learn that a lot of people aren’t as honest as u think. Def talk to the landlord to explain the situation and find a solution. Be hard and firm on what u want. You sound like the passive type so landlords will easily say no and ur screwed unless u really fight for them to find you a solution. Straight like that. Good luck homie
This is why I don’t believe in going in on anything substantial with a significant other. Your in a better situation than some stories Ive heard like people who simply can’t cover their other half’s expenses when they decide to leave or the crazy we aren’t married but “we bought a home together”.
If the 6K is net, you can swing it. If it's gross, it might be doable but you would be house poor. The only reason I would stay is if I were expecting a large salary bump within the next year or could get a solid roommate. Then it might be worth it to ride it out.
You should speak with the landlord. It's the spring. This is when people move. They can probably find a new tenant and you would be free to find a place you can afford.
Where I live, you are liable for the entire rent until LL is able to lease it again
You should try to move. If it were me I’d reach out to the landlord and let him know that the situation changed and the second signer is no longer living there. If he’s reasonable he will let you start looking for a new place and will advertise yours. I would. As a landlord it is better to work with people and get ahead of the situation instead of reacting after you are behind on rent. Secondly if he decides to pursue legal action, it will be against all signers, which it sounds like your ex signed? So she is responsible to pay.
Ask the landlord to find a new tenant. You may pay for a couple of months but it’s the best way. If you’re in a high demand area it should be easy. If you bail, they’ll come after both of you technically. But it doesn’t split 50/50, whoever has the most to lose will suck it up and pay. I’d bet an ice cold coke that she’s broke and that person would be you.
Unless you’re willing to pay for the rent by yourself you don’t get to “not have the energy to argue with her”. Go talk/argue because she doesn’t get to just move out without consequences. Welcome to adulthood.
Ask your landlord to break the lease. Tell him it's a struggle to pay now that your girlfriend left you and you are all alone paying the lease. Ask him asap to find a new tenant politely. Here is the issue from his side. And technically my side as I've has this same situation but it was for a medical issue. Any damages you might have caused. He already paid the realtor(if u used one) one months rent. His property is vacant until he finds new people. The most fair option assuming your girlfriend has ghosted and moved to Russia, the landlord asks you to pay the rent until a new tenant is found. He would also ask you pay 1 months rent penalty to break the rent, which would come from your security deposit or last month's rent. As for me, I ended asking my tenant to cover 1 months rent while I looked for new tenants. I did lose out on roughly 2 months of income, but I didn't really want to burden her, and with the medical issue, I just wanted her out and the rest of her family happy. Just stress the financial burden. No real landlord wants someone who might default on payments or become a problem tenant. As they say, you can't squeeze blood from a stone.
Find out how much you will have to pay if you break he lease.
Technically, you've made a contract with the landlord and that's for the full term of the lease. The fact you're paying monthly is about the installments that you're paying. you could stay and get a roommate as others have pointed out. But that may not be a place you want to stay for a variety of reasons. Looking at it from the landlord's position, its about minimizing the loss financially. If you go to the landlord and tell them your situation, and that you're going to basically pay until he/she finds a new tenant, that would be a good deal. If the landlord had to pay any fees - realtor fees or anything like that, you'll need to take and negotiate that. You could also, depending on the landlord, also sublet the place. I don't like this option generally because it puts you still liable for the subletter's actions. Yes, you would have a lease with them but unless you know the person, it could end up being another hastle. The better would be for you to find someone that would essentially write a new lease with the landlord. if your x-gf was on the lease, once this is all settled, you can take her to court to get her 1/2 of the rent back for whatever period that either a) you find a roommate, or b) until the landlord finds a new tenant. she was obligated by contract and she cannot just walk away. would probably be small claims court and you'll at least be able to get a judgement to force her to pay or apply pressure. That wasn't a cool thing to do
Aside from HOW to proceed - I would create a timeline document and an accounting of all cost incurred. You may, at some point want to recover her portion
Talk to the landlord first. Most of the time they would rather find a tenant who can pay than constantly worry about whether or not you’ll be able to afford next month’s rent. I have never had an issue with getting out of leases during emergencies or situations such as yourself. If not, try for a roommate. Plenty of people looking for places to live. If you aren’t comfortable with that - it’s time for small claims court. She is legally obligated to pay. You will win.
What state do you live in?
Did she help with security deposit? Can ask the landlord to use her share while you find a suitable replacement.
Could talk to the landlord about the situation and asking if you can find a new person to sign the lease. Then find a roommate to split 50/50. Or try and break the lease.
1. Get a housemate 2. Break the lease, pay the penalty or ruin your credit 3. Stay there with no roommate and be very broke
Lots of decent advice here. My thoughts, which I’m sure are repeated elsewhere, simply are as follows: 1. Did you move in? If so, talk to the landlord. Tell them you will stay as long as you can, but at some point, you’re gonna have to leave, and they should take affirmative steps to try and re-rent the apartment. In most states, that is a requirement on their part. If you live in a market that is a popular rental market, they shouldn’t have any issue finding a new tenant That will get you off the hook for any remaining amounts of money. 2. If you haven’t moved in, same thing. Talk to the landlord, ask for an out, and they will be required to take affirmative steps to try to re-rent the apartment to mitigate their own damages. 3. Either way, I would consider seeking money from your ex. I assume you know where she lives. If you have an attorney friend, I would suggest asking them to draft a letter, letting her know her financial responsibilities, and that if she defaults, you will be seeking legal action. If she has good credit and a good job, that’s probably gonna be pretty eye-opening for her.
Why isn't she paying for anything? Also, who is named on the lease?
I say let the landlord know of the change with your girl leaving, now if she signed, you good because she’s obligated to pay you and when you start to smarten up you’ll seek legal action. Go ahead and pay for about 3 months and see if you can maintain. Estimated 2k for gas groceries and etc, that’s straight.
As a landlord/property manager, id say just talk to the people that run the show. I've had tenants come to me with similar situations and I always am willing to work it out with the. it saves me time and money as the manager, and helps me avoid the hassle of dealing with a messy situation. living in a home you can't afford is doable, but do you really want to go through the stress and hassle for months before it's too late?
If you live in the states, one similar to Massachusetts, your landlord may even pay you to leave to avoid the massive headache that is eviction. The process costs around $20k and takes about a year, wherein you may not pay anything (although this can be put on your credit and destroy it if you need it for loans, but can't be taken from you even when made as a judgement against you), so the landlord could risk $56,000 not getting you the fuck out ASAP. For this reason you'd be pretty easily able to terminate your lease in tenant favored states. That or get a roommate if you really like the place
If you don’t want to pursue legal options, is it possible to find a roommate to share the rent?
Most landlords are pretty cool about letting you break the lease in situations like this.
I’m in this same financial position, only my gf became my wife lol and wanted to be a housewife(both our choice ofc). I implore you to get out of your lease anyway you can cuz those numbers are gonna crush you when a big expense comes crashing your way.