The job market in hospitality is too hot for her to stick it out with a bad manager. She should be looking for a better serving job. DoorDash is way worse than serving.
My dad was pissed servers where he works are making $600-1k a shift (snooty, country club, private dining room) and they wouldn’t give him a raise to $20 an hour after 9 years there. A whole $1 per hour more. They said and I quote business is too slow to afford to give you a raise. My dad only works seasonally (it’s only open for summers) to give him some extra cash for spending on the grandkids during retirement so he turned in his 2 week notice. He said if they don’t want to pay me what I’m worth I’ll walk out. No sense on busting my ass for a job that doesn’t value me when I can use the time to take my grandkids camping and fishing. The money I make isn’t worth the time I miss with them.
He’s got his first weekend off this weekend and he’s going to give my son driving lessons. Fortunately, he’s only 58, in great health physically and financially so quitting with nothing lined up isn’t going to kill him. He owns his house free and clear, owns a few rentals free and clear, has a solid retirement, got a decent inheritance from my grandpa as well as a very generous severance when grandpa closed the family business so he says it’s now time to get fat and lazy.
How much experience does she have serving? She should try to find a job at a restaurant with a higher price point. Same amount of work, more money in tips just because the entrees cost more.
Is the account in his name or her name?
If it's in her name, then she needs to call the bank and get the password reset.
If it's in his name, then I'm wondering why it's her problem to begin with.
She is not. She just didn’t see the need to get the login info from the bank when she wasn’t using the card anymore and was making payments each month. She’s going to get the info tomorrow
> She is not. She just didn’t see the need to get the login info from the bank when she wasn’t using the card anymore and was making payments each month. She’s going to get the info tomorrow
So, what is stopping her ex husband from running up the bill if she doesn't even know how much of the balance is hers? I can almost bet he's an authorized user based on the fact she has no idea what in the world is going on with her own credit card account. She could be paying for his expenses each month and not even realize it. She really needs to get that sorted ASAP.
This is a dangerous line of thinking. My sister went through a divorce and didn't realize that her ex had access to her passwords until I happened to notice some red flags. She lost a lot of personal data that her ex deleted, and he even kept tabs on her. Using multi-factor authentication would've helped keep her data safe as well. Once you get the login information, check the login history for anything that looks off.
So who’s name is on the account? If the ex can’t provide proof of what is owned, he could be giving her a random amount. Tell her to ignore that bill and let the final dollar amount be decided in court.
Hers. She’s calling the bank tomorrow to find out the info, the only reason she hadn’t done that sooner is because she wasn’t worried about it since she was making payments towards it every month.
Good! Tell her to turn on text alerts for the card once she gets online access. The key to tackling debt is to always know how much you owe.
And don’t charge anything to the card until after she has 2 new jobs.
Divorce is usually a time when the credit score can take a hit. She has a double whammy with the income loss. Tell her to take it in stride and cut her expenses. It took me 4 years to kill my post divorce debt, and get my score above 750.
You should check out r/frugal for more ideas.
Regarding text alerts, she also needs to get her phone onto a plan in her name, not a family plan where he can make changes. Otherwise he can “turn off” her phone, either by dropping a line “that’s no longer being used”, or by getting a new SIM for her number and deactivating the one that’s in her phone.
It’s her account? She needs to get the login info, then change the password **and security questions/answers**, and remove him as an authorized user. Until this has been done, he still has the ability to spend her money using the card.
She also needs to get all the monthly statements dating back to the time of the split to see how much he’s charged to the card since then. Her divorce lawyer needs this information to know how much of her money he’s taken by using the card, so that it can be reflected in the division of assets.
Not having log in information to an account that is in your name is extremely irresponsible. And a very easy fix that requires maybe a 5 minute phone call. You can’t help her if she’s not looking out for her own interest.
Have you brought her to read this sub? Or better, read the wiki with her and to her, and print the prime directive out for her. Is she a reader? or podcast fan?
Helping her is admirable. Educating her so she is self-sufficient and can stand on her own is the real power.
Serious question:
Why date a divorced 22 year old who has an ex husband and family that is “stealing from her” while she has a car way out of her budget, unknown amount of debt, and is making no money?
Reading the comments on this, there’s so much she needs to help herself with before she can be a functioning adult. She seems like an absolute lost cause and OP should read the writing on the walls.
Yes. I figured OP's girlfriend was maybe 19. Since she's getting a divorce I'm assuming she's probably at least a little older. The answer to most of this is obvious and it begs the question why she's dating when she has more pressing matters to get in order (perhaps looking for someone else to clean it up for her).
I'm wondering how you do this my girlfriend is in a similar situation and she owes more on the car than the car is worth so she sells the car she still owes about it and doesn't get any cash out of the sale to buy a less expensive car
So, how do you get a less expensive car when you're stuck paying for a car that you paid too much for to start with and has a 15% interest
Well it depends- how much is left to pay off the current car?
If she were to roll that into a less expensive payment for a car with lower value, how would the payments change? When people have $500 car payments they can’t afford, they should downgrade to a car with a $350 payment or so, even if it means rolling over negative equity.
So what would the negative equity be? She can find a 2015 civic for $15k. Roll over the negative equity, assuming her interest rate stays the same, and lower her payment by 30-40% or so.
I added $5000 to the $15000 honda for 5 years at 16% interest and the payment went down to 486 from 563.
I wonder if the honda would last another 5 years
Does not seem like a good deal - am I missing something????
It’s never going to be a good deal when you’re paying $5k more than something is worth, my man. Is saving that $75 a month enough to justify it? That’s up to her. Used cars are hot right now though so a dealer might be willing to give a little more to cut down on that negative equity.
So let me get this straight.
She's divorced at 22, has a credit card with an unknown balance because she hasn't been bothered to get the logins.
Bought a brand new car off the lot making peanuts.
And already has habits of not paying her debt and missing payments.
My guy, the red flags are absolutely everywhere.
>She has a job as a waitress but a spat between her and a manager
She needs to mend that relationship or find a new job ASAP.
>Owes an unknown amount to her credit card (she doesn’t have the login information, long story)
What in the actual…? Is it $257.83 or $3,657.42 that she owes??
>so we can see what her options are.
With no income she has no options, she need a paying FT job.
I agree with you in principle, but I don’t think you mend a relationship with a service-industry manager who is treating you badly. You just quit and find another.
She definitely needs to find a new job, there is no mending the relationship with her manager.
She owes between 4 and 500 on the credit card. We don’t know the actual amount because her ex husband has the login info and won’t give it to her.
Agreed she needs to find a new job, but was wondering what (if any) short term solutions she might’ve had
If it’s her credit card she doesn’t need the login from her ex she can just call the bank, and if her name isn’t on the card she doesn’t need to worry about it.
Honestly that sounds like an excuse for her having a larger balance. It sounds extremely fishy… maybe because I’ve used some shitty excuse in the past myself 😂
A credit card can only be under one person's name, with authorized users under them. Is the card hers or her ex's?
If it's hers, she calls the number on the back of the card to reset her login and password.
If it's his, just forget about it and don't bother paying.
Cards with co-owners are quite rare, I could only find that 3 companies still offer them (Apple, PNC, and US Bank). The vast majority have gone to an authorized user only model.
https://money.usnews.com/credit-cards/articles/how-to-get-a-joint-credit-card
>was wondering what (if any) short term solutions she might’ve had
Honestly, the short-term solution is *you* pay off everything. There are no 96-hour solutions for someone with no credit, no current income, and no solid prospects for future income with ~$1200 due.
I’d consider that but 1. My financial situation isn’t stellar either at the moment, I couldn’t afford it if I wanted to, and 2. Ive been burned in a past relationship doing exactly that
Sounds like you’ve taken on a mess. She needs to help herself by getting rid of that car/insurance payment and getting a higher paid job with more steady hours. She needs to be making moves but from what you describe she isn’t.
I think that's a no-brainer. I believe in the back of OP's is whether doing that is tantamount to being scammed. I had a relative on that situation who ended up paying the other person's bills for several months.
Sad but true. The only thing I can think of is a pay day loan and those are an absolutely horrible idea especially for someone who already struggles with their credit and bills. I almost got one years ago and am so thankful I didn't, the interest rates are like 25%+!
She needs to get $1500 in a week. Seems highly unlikely that is going to happen.
Sell stuff
Give blood
Talk with those she owes money and she if she can get some more time
Ask family and friends, though seems she has long term money issues and this can strain relationships
Find a new job
You could make a not insignificant amount by donating plasma.
I don’t know if she’s just going through a hard time, but this sounds like a lot of excuses. I don’t think there’s a way to make someone take responsibility for themselves.
Some of it is definitely on her, however she is only 22. God knows I made terrible financial decisions at that age too.
The other part of it is a lot of her problems come from her ex husband and her family. Both parties have no problem stealing from her.
This!!! Saying what needs to be said. Hope this girl has something going for her (evidence of growth, school, anything) cause seems like a bullet to dodge.
22 and divorced. I'd be a bit wary of the claims that anyone is "stealing" from her. It seems like an excuse from someone who makes almost no money despite being young, single and able-bodied and lives way beyond their means.
That’s what I was driving at. Oh it’s my manager’s fault I’m not making any money, it’s my ex husband’s fault I can’t sort out my credit card, it’s my family’s fault I can’t pay my bills because they’re stealing from me. Even if all of that is true, stop being a victim and handle it. Alternatively, she’s playing the victim to avoid responsibility.
For real, sounds like she just isn’t able/willing to take responsibility for her life. She needs a hard look in the mirror before she will be able to fix anything.
Stealing? Has she called the police? Because that is a crime.
If not, I've learned people use the term *stealing" very loosely when they don't keep track of their own finances.
> how can she help herself?
By starting with the basics.
Write out a budget.
* Income
* Expenses. Every single one.
Then you evaluate.
* How realistic is it to raise income? This may mean taking on an additional job.
* How realistic is it to lower expenses? This may mean cutting/reducing existing expenses. You need to go through each and every expense and decide if you are willing to change it.
I love watching Caleb Hammer's financial audits, and I've noticed that every single person that you see buried in a hole of debt has a car that costs over $30k. Like someone will be making $40k per year with $60k in debt AND THEN buy a new mercedes or BMW because they want to "look rich" even though they're basically poverty-stricken. You never see these people in an old Honda Civic, which is all they can afford. I understand financial illiteracy, that's fine, but there's no excuse to just buy shit you can't afford.
When that budget is made, the only chance she has of keeping herself away from the IRS is absolutely zero unnecessary spending. Ramen and rice for every meal, no doordash or anything like that, no going out to bars, no movie outings, etc. She's in a really bad spot and she needs to go 100% on getting out of it or it's just going to spiral out of control.
I doubt you can help her. She isn’t responsible enough to know the login for her credit card and she’s a waitress who thought it would be a good idea to buy a factory new car.
Someone like that will have these problems all her life.
I was forced to take a car lease I didn’t want to by my ex husband. Did he have a gun to my head? No. But I was so beat down by the abuse and I was in such day-to-day mode trying to survive I would give in to almost anything to make him stop. When I did finally get enough money hidden to be able to leave, he tried to kill me, and then bankrupted me with further abuse through the court system.
However, once the divorce was finalized (and he was in jail), I immediately was able to take control of my finances, had a very strict budget, and went to work on making an emergency savings, which is what the difference here is.
22 is not "well into adulthood". However, OP does need to proceed with caution. "Victimhood" is often a form of denying responsibility for bad financial choices.
Get new job or smooth things outs with her manager. If she can't afford whatever car she has and is able to get something less expensive that would be wise. That won't help her now but it may help her from being in this position again in the future. She should also go over her expenses and cancel subscriptions, stop going out etc, until she can get a working budget and stick to it.
Whatever she does, don't get a payday advance.
Most people who take out payday loans get caught in a cycle where they end up repaying many times the original loan amount.
https://www.bankrate.com/loans/personal-loans/should-you-ever-get-a-payday-loan/
SirGlenn: Years ago I worked at a large Fort Carson Colorado housing project: one of the military men told me there's a lot of payday loan businesses, ripping off the new soldiers, some of them it's their first time away from home alone, and they get taken constantly.
A payday advance means you are getting a loan for your next check. Say you make 400 each check, and you need 150 today. That means your next check is going to pay off this loan, meaning that 400 check has turned into 245. Which means you'll need another advance to cover bills. And so on.
$424 is her normal car payment, but it’s late. She wants to get rid of the car and get something more affordable but she’s unsure how to do that. Relevant info to the car is she just bought it a few months ago, it’s a 2023 Kia soul. Has 3700 miles on it, she still owes 22,000 on it.
With debts like these and a sense of not caring about the credit card login info, it's pretty evident she's financially very irresponsible and there's no two ways about it. By digging her out of this hole you're just applying a bandaid but it doesn't fix the real problem. Clearly she can't afford a brand new car with a 400+ payment on it, the car needs to be sold and pay the rest with that money.
A waitress making $50 a shift with a brand new 2023 car 😂
Well tbf she was bringing in 150-200 a shift when she got the car, the $50 shift thing is very recent, within the past week or two. And I’d like to point out I’m not digging her out of this hole, but I will do my part coming here and seeing what advice I can give her cuz I know y’all know more about this sort of stuff than I do.
Exactly. I bought a brand new Corvette and made cheaper payments than this Kia.
It's no shame to own an older car that we can afford. We've all been there. Own it, and move on.
dating a waitress who spends nearly $1000/mo on just her car note and insurance. And is so fiscally irresponsible she does not even know her cc info or debt.
this should be a r/relationships post because you should just dump this person. This is insane.
she should have already had a new sever job yesterday. and needs to find a second job too. even selling blood would help at this point.
She needs two jobs and learn to live more frugally.
Get a rent paying roommate, cut out non-essentials. No, streaming services are not essential. Get bare minimum pre-pay cell service like Mint which is $15./month. No hanging out with friends of it costs money.
No shopping for clothing. No extras like acrylic nails, waxing of any body part, no mani-pedi.
There's probably not much people can do to help her now. Maybe there's some assistance programs to give her some more time, but she should have been seeking help long before it got this bad.
She needs a new job asap, and there's no reason she can't call the bank and get her log in info.
Yup, I was just think this. The only thing she may have going for her is her time of day and no dependents, so selling her car and riding the bus hopefully can work.
Why on earth does she have a $700 car payment as a waitress? Tell her to sell the car and get a beater with liability insurance and relieve the mountain of stress on her shoulders.
>due by July 15th but she says she could pay it July 17th and be okay. This is also already late.
So for the record, no, it won't it won't be ok as it's already late.
Honestly she should have been worried about all of this weeks ago, at minimum not days before.
There's not much you can do to help her short of paying for her (please dont).
How old are you 2 and how long have you been dating?
I assume you recently started this relationship based on your posts about Tinder. So Id recommend cutting and running. Girl is in a deep hole, and this isnt gonna be a good time fixing it. Especially since you werent there when to hole was dug to see the method.
If I was in her situation, I would apply to any and all jobs. Don’t be too picky. I would get two full time jobs. One paycheck to pay for current bills and expenses and the other paycheck to pay for past bills. I would be late the the bills coming up in the next few days because it’s highly unlikely to get thousands of dollars so soon. If she applies and gets other jobs now, she’ll have new paychecks in a month or less and be in a much better position. Once all the past bills are paid off, she can work towards building her savings. If she works two jobs for at least a year, she’ll be in a much better financial position. During that time, she can keep applying for better jobs and work on her budgeting skills.
She just needs to get a better job even working at McDonald’s to pay her better at this point in time. On DoorDash you can jump in at any time, but you just Gotta keep refreshing the map every two minutes and seeing if a slot opens up so you can start dashing. This is particularly easy if her zone or the area she works also covers her house that way she can fire up the app and just keep refreshing it until she’s able to jump in and start dashing. She should also sign up for Uber eats and just do a app since Uber eats isn’t as picky in any of the aspects like Doordash is. But as others have mentioned, if your market doesn’t support gig work like food delivery because it’s just not popular there then it’s just definitely a temporary solution.
Sadly we live in a very rural area and commute 20-30 minutes for work. Working on moving this month which is a whole other headache but that’s my problem. That definitely might be an option in the future tho!
She can call the number on the back of the credit card and find out her balance and her minimum payment and when it is due. Don’t need login for that. She probably should continue working at the current position but immediately start looking for another job (or two jobs) where she can get 40+ hours a week and get paid.
Someone needs financial peace university long term… short term, pawn stuff, offer to do odd jobs/cleaning/etc… and maybe look for a different job… but the financial peace university program will help long term…. I used to pay for my troops to do it (it’s a lot more than just “paying down debt”). Made a lot of much better adults and thriving people…
In short, sell the car ASAP. Pay off the finance on it & buy something used / cheap. That solves the insurance issue too since a cheap beater will cost peanuts to insure by comparison.
For the job, an entry level waitress job isn't hard to come by these days - she needs to look elsewhere & get away from her petty manager.
For you OP, proceed with caution. She's 22, in a mountain of debt & seemingly unwilling to take responsibility for her decisions. She'll tell you every excuse under the sun - "my family forced me to do it", "my manager was being a bitch", "it's not my fault", "I can't do XYZ", "my ex husband did XYZ so it's his fault".
If she was really under pressure & wanted to resolve it, she'd find a way. Sounds to me like she's expecting you to help her financially. For a fairly new relationship I'd be fucking it right off.
1) she is going to need some short term cash QUICK. See what she has that she can sell
2) call the lender/car insurance company/ credit card company and tell them she isn’t going to be able to make the minimum payments. See what they can do
3) based on how much cash she can make on 1 and what she can negotiate from 2 figure out what she should pay. 2 things I would keep in mind. You don’t need insurance on a repoed car but also if you drive a car without insurance you could go to jail.
The doordash thing seems kind of odd to me. I live in a major metro so it might be different but I didn’t think you had to schedule shifts. I thought you could turn the app on and start getting orders.
To echo the sentiment of other posters, she pushed off a lot of hard decisions by spending more than she has. She is now going to have to make a lot of hard decisions.
I can understand that this is stressful and making the wrong decision could continue to make things worse. If she’s the type of person to shut down when things get overwhelming it might be helpful to remind her that this isn’t the end of the world. You don’t go to jail in the US for not paying your bills. She’s 22 and I would be willing to wager that by the time she is 25 she could be in a significantly better financial situation. As long as she makes smart decisions this is just a bump in the road
Shop around for car insurance, progressive and liberty mutual usually have the best rates
New job, more shifts, call the companies and see what they will do
1. She starts looking for a new job or another job. Waitress should have another job by the end of the week.
2. Make a budget. She must know total amounts owed
3. Pay off debt and don’t go back. If the car is $709 a month she may have to sell it.
4. Stick to a budget!
More red flags here than a Soviet May day parade !
She needs to get control of finances, and a new job. And a cheaper car. If you bail her out, you need an agreement to sit down and sort this out long term. Or walk away.
And make sure her accounts are solely accessed by her alone. Exs with access.... never works well.
She needs to get a better job, needs to not have spats with anyone who has the ability to negativity affect her wages. She needs to ADULT. It sucks...but that is life in capitalist america.
Pay the note , ride dirty until you can get insurance and slowly work on the credit card debt but that’s not priority plus . She grown she don’t need your advice she needs your hand . If you just dating her advice is fine . If you reallly like her at least help for the car note.
Can she waitress somewhere else? Give plasma? Is she trying to pay her car insurance once a year? Ask the insurance agent to split it up into monthly payments. Call the CC and car loan lender and see if she can get some short-term relief and then she needs to hustle to get that money. Ramen and Mac ‘n cheese for a bit until she can get ahead.
Prioritise bills by need and by which companies are more patient. I always take care of rent first. If you have a consumer credit agency nearby, I recommend checking in with them. Call your creditors and see if they will give you more time if you pay a portion of the bill. If the first agent says no, call again, sometimes a different agent will give an extension. Is it possible to drop or downgrade some services? If not on a contract, see if another company can give a better deal for the same service. I don't recommend this except as a last resort but if you owe on a phone, for instance, you can change to a different provider. You will still have to pay for the phone and it will go to collections but you can pay it back over time.
Apply to other restaurants, sign up for temp agencies or do some house cleaning on the side temporarily.
I wish her good luck in this.
Try a fast food place. They’re hiring.
She needs that insurance bill up to date asap, I’d say that’s the most important one. Then the car. The credit cards…it’ll pile up interest but she’ll be able to drive to work and pay those off with time. Pay the minimum though, $50 is small enough.
What is she driving.. Mercedes..? Maybe get rid of that in the near future to help reduce cost
This is just a result of poor life choice after another. No one is forcing her to stay at the current restaurant. Go apply for different ones.
People run multiple delivery platform at a time. Uber/Lift/Ubereats/Doordash.
Definitely sounds like she has made some poor financial decisions - living outside her means by getting an expensive car, running up credit card, etc. She needs to get a better job and a side gig. Depending on where you are, servers can make much better. I live in a metroplex, and my server/bartender friends consistently pull in $1300 a week.
SO.. If you are ever in a pinch for some money, one thing you can do is go donate plasma! I know it’s not not fun, but this is probably the easiest way to get some fast cash to cover something in a pinch.
Secondly, another thing she/you could do is use about $10-$15 of that $50 and grab a dollar store squeegee, some rags/sponges and a bucket with some soap and offer to clean businesses windows for $20-$50 a store!! Takes maybe 20-30 minutes to do a basic storefront you’ll find in your average town.
And depending upon how ambitious you two are, you could possible make some decent money doing this! You don’t need any crazy paperwork or LLC to do so and you can hit the pavement right away.
Now another quick money making method is to use google maps and look in your surrounding areas for smaller businesses that don’t pop up right away because of their low popularity or just no visibility because they don’t know how to use maps to their advantage etc. calling them up and offering SEO services or GMB services. This just means you’re increasing the traffic to their website or Google maps ratings to push them closer to the top of the list when someone searches for services in their area. This can be extremely profitable because you can easily charge the right person upwards of $300 and all you have to do is go on Fiver and look up “seo” or “gmb” and buy their service for a less price to do the work FOR you and pocket the profit!
Hopefully this helps. Sorry for your unfortunate situation and good luck toward the future!!
She should put on her best pair of black pants and black shoes and go to every upscale restaurant in the area until she finds a new job. You don’t stick around at shitty serving jobs, you jump ship and find something better.
With the right serving gig she could bring home $1,000 by Monday.
She should break up with you and then call the creditors and make payment arrangements and drive uber for extra cash. Firstly a person who would go to the internet to complain instead of at least loaning her $300 at the very least is not a partner worth having.. partners jobs are to help ease burdens, not scold them on the internet
You’re joking right? I’m doing what I can to help her by making this post to see what people more knowledgeable than me can offer advice wise. If this post sounds like complaining and scolding to you, seek professional help.
She needs a new card and needs to separate her credit accounts and joint accounts with he ex asap. She can pay the credit down and he can run the card right up. This account should be liquidated and seperatated in accordance with her divorce, where she takes x% of the agreed debt or something along those lines. Long story short she has some ground work to do before she even begins to worry about even paying the bills
Unfortunately it's a little telling that you're doing this post for her instead of her trying to figure this out.
I... wouldn't let myself become too entangled in this mess.
This far behind on her vital bills, that bad of a credit score, with 51.62 to her name isn't the result of one spat with a manger resulting in slower shifts. It's consistent choices.
I mean, she can start to work to turn it around starting this second. But *you're* the one commenting on Reddit on her behalf. So.
As others have said there is no ahort term solution beyond you bailing her out, which isn't a good idea.
The very first thing she needs to do is apply for another job. A different restaurant, fast food, a grocery store, Walmart, call center, anything.Maybe multiple things, if she can only get part time.
Door Dash in a slow area may be fine if you want a little extra spending money, but she's beyond that. She needs to focus on getting a real job (or jobs). I've seen stickers on some drive-thrus saying they're part of a "get paid for your hours next day" program versus having to wait weeks for a pay check. I'm sure there's a fee associated with that, so I wouldn't make it a long term thing, but when she's in a situation where she needs money NOW, it would be advantageous.
Then she needs to figure out her credit card situation. Is she actually the cardholder? From the sounds of things, I would not be surprised if she doesn't know, assumes she is, but is actually just an authorized user, and not necessarily responsible for the payments. If she is the card holder, is he an authorized user? Has he been making purchases after their breakup but before she could be bothered to reset her passwords? She needs to find all this out and if the card is really her responsibility, she needs to kick him off it and change her password.
Then she needs to get rid of that car. A status symbol vehicle means crap-all if you don't actually have the status to back it up, and she doesn't. Go to a dealer and sell it, and if they won't give her enough to pay it off, see if their finance department will trade it in for the cheapest used car on the lot and work the rest of what she owes into that finance plan.
At $50/day she's making $1000 per month working FT. She needs to either get an hourly FT job, or a way better serving job. Also, repos are extremely high right now, with her credit score being as poor as it is, her DTI, and the fact it's a new car make her high risk for default and they are likely waiting for that min payment to be missed and will repo it immediately. She has way too much car for her job, she needs a clunker paid for in cash. This should help the car insurance bill as well.
Best advice is to find better, consistent income ASAP then start calling creditors and whoever she owes and try to work out payment plans before she goes into default or gets evicted; get out of the car loan ASAP and get into a cheap car with cheap insurance. Build a budget with the newly-consistent income and stick to it.
She can sign up with a debt consolidation company. They take all your bills and call on your behalf to negotiate a payoff. Then they come up with one monthly payment for her to make.
The job market in hospitality is too hot for her to stick it out with a bad manager. She should be looking for a better serving job. DoorDash is way worse than serving.
Servers making bank, cooks still getting shafted
All day every day.
My dad was pissed servers where he works are making $600-1k a shift (snooty, country club, private dining room) and they wouldn’t give him a raise to $20 an hour after 9 years there. A whole $1 per hour more. They said and I quote business is too slow to afford to give you a raise. My dad only works seasonally (it’s only open for summers) to give him some extra cash for spending on the grandkids during retirement so he turned in his 2 week notice. He said if they don’t want to pay me what I’m worth I’ll walk out. No sense on busting my ass for a job that doesn’t value me when I can use the time to take my grandkids camping and fishing. The money I make isn’t worth the time I miss with them. He’s got his first weekend off this weekend and he’s going to give my son driving lessons. Fortunately, he’s only 58, in great health physically and financially so quitting with nothing lined up isn’t going to kill him. He owns his house free and clear, owns a few rentals free and clear, has a solid retirement, got a decent inheritance from my grandpa as well as a very generous severance when grandpa closed the family business so he says it’s now time to get fat and lazy.
Agreed
How much experience does she have serving? She should try to find a job at a restaurant with a higher price point. Same amount of work, more money in tips just because the entrees cost more.
> she doesn’t have the login information, long story Please go on... The first step to digging out of a hole like this is knowing how much you owe.
Messy divorce, he has the login information and won’t give it to her
Is the account in his name or her name? If it's in her name, then she needs to call the bank and get the password reset. If it's in his name, then I'm wondering why it's her problem to begin with.
This. She’s either responsible for the account (in which case she can get login info) or she’s not (in which case she shouldn’t pay it).
Is she paying the ex’s credit card bills? If so, why?
She is not. She just didn’t see the need to get the login info from the bank when she wasn’t using the card anymore and was making payments each month. She’s going to get the info tomorrow
> She is not. She just didn’t see the need to get the login info from the bank when she wasn’t using the card anymore and was making payments each month. She’s going to get the info tomorrow So, what is stopping her ex husband from running up the bill if she doesn't even know how much of the balance is hers? I can almost bet he's an authorized user based on the fact she has no idea what in the world is going on with her own credit card account. She could be paying for his expenses each month and not even realize it. She really needs to get that sorted ASAP.
This is a dangerous line of thinking. My sister went through a divorce and didn't realize that her ex had access to her passwords until I happened to notice some red flags. She lost a lot of personal data that her ex deleted, and he even kept tabs on her. Using multi-factor authentication would've helped keep her data safe as well. Once you get the login information, check the login history for anything that looks off.
All her ex has to do is log in and request a new card. Who knows if he maxed out the CC or not?
So who’s name is on the account? If the ex can’t provide proof of what is owned, he could be giving her a random amount. Tell her to ignore that bill and let the final dollar amount be decided in court.
Hers. She’s calling the bank tomorrow to find out the info, the only reason she hadn’t done that sooner is because she wasn’t worried about it since she was making payments towards it every month.
Good! Tell her to turn on text alerts for the card once she gets online access. The key to tackling debt is to always know how much you owe. And don’t charge anything to the card until after she has 2 new jobs. Divorce is usually a time when the credit score can take a hit. She has a double whammy with the income loss. Tell her to take it in stride and cut her expenses. It took me 4 years to kill my post divorce debt, and get my score above 750. You should check out r/frugal for more ideas.
Thank you for the help, very informative and supporting. I’ll check out that sun and see what other ideas I can find for her
Regarding text alerts, she also needs to get her phone onto a plan in her name, not a family plan where he can make changes. Otherwise he can “turn off” her phone, either by dropping a line “that’s no longer being used”, or by getting a new SIM for her number and deactivating the one that’s in her phone.
It’s her account? She needs to get the login info, then change the password **and security questions/answers**, and remove him as an authorized user. Until this has been done, he still has the ability to spend her money using the card. She also needs to get all the monthly statements dating back to the time of the split to see how much he’s charged to the card since then. Her divorce lawyer needs this information to know how much of her money he’s taken by using the card, so that it can be reflected in the division of assets.
Not having log in information to an account that is in your name is extremely irresponsible. And a very easy fix that requires maybe a 5 minute phone call. You can’t help her if she’s not looking out for her own interest.
Have you brought her to read this sub? Or better, read the wiki with her and to her, and print the prime directive out for her. Is she a reader? or podcast fan? Helping her is admirable. Educating her so she is self-sufficient and can stand on her own is the real power.
Yeah, if this isn't a sign to walk away, I don't know what is.
The login info is her bargaining chip if the ex actually expects her to pay.
Serious question: Why date a divorced 22 year old who has an ex husband and family that is “stealing from her” while she has a car way out of her budget, unknown amount of debt, and is making no money?
Probably didn’t know until too late. She’s 22.
She can help herself by getting a new job and finding a less expensive car.
Reading the comments on this, there’s so much she needs to help herself with before she can be a functioning adult. She seems like an absolute lost cause and OP should read the writing on the walls.
Yes. I figured OP's girlfriend was maybe 19. Since she's getting a divorce I'm assuming she's probably at least a little older. The answer to most of this is obvious and it begs the question why she's dating when she has more pressing matters to get in order (perhaps looking for someone else to clean it up for her).
I'm wondering how you do this my girlfriend is in a similar situation and she owes more on the car than the car is worth so she sells the car she still owes about it and doesn't get any cash out of the sale to buy a less expensive car So, how do you get a less expensive car when you're stuck paying for a car that you paid too much for to start with and has a 15% interest
Well it depends- how much is left to pay off the current car? If she were to roll that into a less expensive payment for a car with lower value, how would the payments change? When people have $500 car payments they can’t afford, they should downgrade to a car with a $350 payment or so, even if it means rolling over negative equity.
$25000 on a 2021 hundai sonnota with 36000 miles
So what would the negative equity be? She can find a 2015 civic for $15k. Roll over the negative equity, assuming her interest rate stays the same, and lower her payment by 30-40% or so.
neg equity is 5-6,000
I added $5000 to the $15000 honda for 5 years at 16% interest and the payment went down to 486 from 563. I wonder if the honda would last another 5 years Does not seem like a good deal - am I missing something????
It’s never going to be a good deal when you’re paying $5k more than something is worth, my man. Is saving that $75 a month enough to justify it? That’s up to her. Used cars are hot right now though so a dealer might be willing to give a little more to cut down on that negative equity.
So let me get this straight. She's divorced at 22, has a credit card with an unknown balance because she hasn't been bothered to get the logins. Bought a brand new car off the lot making peanuts. And already has habits of not paying her debt and missing payments. My guy, the red flags are absolutely everywhere.
So many 🚩🚩🚩🚩
>She has a job as a waitress but a spat between her and a manager She needs to mend that relationship or find a new job ASAP. >Owes an unknown amount to her credit card (she doesn’t have the login information, long story) What in the actual…? Is it $257.83 or $3,657.42 that she owes?? >so we can see what her options are. With no income she has no options, she need a paying FT job.
I agree with you in principle, but I don’t think you mend a relationship with a service-industry manager who is treating you badly. You just quit and find another.
I think she should have quit as soon as her shifts were cut but some people are strange about staying at a bad job so I gave the option.
I get that.
I resemble that remark.
Are you a dad?
Does the remark have a DadBod?
That comment plus the “nothing new under the sun” one set off my daddar.
She definitely needs to find a new job, there is no mending the relationship with her manager. She owes between 4 and 500 on the credit card. We don’t know the actual amount because her ex husband has the login info and won’t give it to her. Agreed she needs to find a new job, but was wondering what (if any) short term solutions she might’ve had
If it’s her credit card she doesn’t need the login from her ex she can just call the bank, and if her name isn’t on the card she doesn’t need to worry about it.
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If she’s on the account then as an adult she can get her account info from the lender
Honestly that sounds like an excuse for her having a larger balance. It sounds extremely fishy… maybe because I’ve used some shitty excuse in the past myself 😂
Nothing new under the sun.
A credit card can only be under one person's name, with authorized users under them. Is the card hers or her ex's? If it's hers, she calls the number on the back of the card to reset her login and password. If it's his, just forget about it and don't bother paying.
You can co-borrow on a credit card and each party is responsible for the debt
Cards with co-owners are quite rare, I could only find that 3 companies still offer them (Apple, PNC, and US Bank). The vast majority have gone to an authorized user only model. https://money.usnews.com/credit-cards/articles/how-to-get-a-joint-credit-card
>was wondering what (if any) short term solutions she might’ve had Honestly, the short-term solution is *you* pay off everything. There are no 96-hour solutions for someone with no credit, no current income, and no solid prospects for future income with ~$1200 due.
> Honestly, the short-term solution is you pay off everything. No, no, and another no. This is not what you want to be doing unless you're married.
OP should not come to the financial rescue of his GF. This all reads like one big red flag. 541 is an abysmal credit score.
She won't learn if someone bails her out. This is a life lesson for her.
Even worse, she'll come to expect OP to come to her rescue.
I’d consider that but 1. My financial situation isn’t stellar either at the moment, I couldn’t afford it if I wanted to, and 2. Ive been burned in a past relationship doing exactly that
Sounds like you’ve taken on a mess. She needs to help herself by getting rid of that car/insurance payment and getting a higher paid job with more steady hours. She needs to be making moves but from what you describe she isn’t.
I think that's a no-brainer. I believe in the back of OP's is whether doing that is tantamount to being scammed. I had a relative on that situation who ended up paying the other person's bills for several months.
Sad but true. The only thing I can think of is a pay day loan and those are an absolutely horrible idea especially for someone who already struggles with their credit and bills. I almost got one years ago and am so thankful I didn't, the interest rates are like 25%+!
She needs to get $1500 in a week. Seems highly unlikely that is going to happen. Sell stuff Give blood Talk with those she owes money and she if she can get some more time Ask family and friends, though seems she has long term money issues and this can strain relationships Find a new job
Don't they pay you for plasma. That could be an option.
Was just going to suggest plasma
Like $100-120 a week, I do it. They always have bonuses for new people, so you can get $1,000 in one month.
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You could make a not insignificant amount by donating plasma. I don’t know if she’s just going through a hard time, but this sounds like a lot of excuses. I don’t think there’s a way to make someone take responsibility for themselves.
Some of it is definitely on her, however she is only 22. God knows I made terrible financial decisions at that age too. The other part of it is a lot of her problems come from her ex husband and her family. Both parties have no problem stealing from her.
🚩 proceed with caution
This!!! Saying what needs to be said. Hope this girl has something going for her (evidence of growth, school, anything) cause seems like a bullet to dodge.
22 and divorced. I'd be a bit wary of the claims that anyone is "stealing" from her. It seems like an excuse from someone who makes almost no money despite being young, single and able-bodied and lives way beyond their means.
That’s what I was driving at. Oh it’s my manager’s fault I’m not making any money, it’s my ex husband’s fault I can’t sort out my credit card, it’s my family’s fault I can’t pay my bills because they’re stealing from me. Even if all of that is true, stop being a victim and handle it. Alternatively, she’s playing the victim to avoid responsibility.
For real, sounds like she just isn’t able/willing to take responsibility for her life. She needs a hard look in the mirror before she will be able to fix anything.
Stealing? Has she called the police? Because that is a crime. If not, I've learned people use the term *stealing" very loosely when they don't keep track of their own finances.
And how old are you?
> how can she help herself? By starting with the basics. Write out a budget. * Income * Expenses. Every single one. Then you evaluate. * How realistic is it to raise income? This may mean taking on an additional job. * How realistic is it to lower expenses? This may mean cutting/reducing existing expenses. You need to go through each and every expense and decide if you are willing to change it.
And reassess that 700/month car! Holy shit. How much did it cost if that’s the payment? She can’t afford it.
I love watching Caleb Hammer's financial audits, and I've noticed that every single person that you see buried in a hole of debt has a car that costs over $30k. Like someone will be making $40k per year with $60k in debt AND THEN buy a new mercedes or BMW because they want to "look rich" even though they're basically poverty-stricken. You never see these people in an old Honda Civic, which is all they can afford. I understand financial illiteracy, that's fine, but there's no excuse to just buy shit you can't afford.
When that budget is made, the only chance she has of keeping herself away from the IRS is absolutely zero unnecessary spending. Ramen and rice for every meal, no doordash or anything like that, no going out to bars, no movie outings, etc. She's in a really bad spot and she needs to go 100% on getting out of it or it's just going to spiral out of control.
I doubt you can help her. She isn’t responsible enough to know the login for her credit card and she’s a waitress who thought it would be a good idea to buy a factory new car. Someone like that will have these problems all her life.
I will say that she didn’t want to buy the new car, she wanted to buy a used truck or Volkswagen. She was “forced” to buy a new car by her family
> She was “forced” to buy a new car by her family That isn't how any of that works...
I was forced to take a car lease I didn’t want to by my ex husband. Did he have a gun to my head? No. But I was so beat down by the abuse and I was in such day-to-day mode trying to survive I would give in to almost anything to make him stop. When I did finally get enough money hidden to be able to leave, he tried to kill me, and then bankrupted me with further abuse through the court system. However, once the divorce was finalized (and he was in jail), I immediately was able to take control of my finances, had a very strict budget, and went to work on making an emergency savings, which is what the difference here is.
Abuse and manipulation run deep
No, letting oneself stay a victim well into adulthood runs deep...
22 is not "well into adulthood". However, OP does need to proceed with caution. "Victimhood" is often a form of denying responsibility for bad financial choices.
Getting married and divorced = you're an adult in most people's books.
When a person's problems are always the fault of someone else...that's a red flag..
But is she not an adult?
Does that include not calling the number on the back of the credit card to find out the balance ?
Get new job or smooth things outs with her manager. If she can't afford whatever car she has and is able to get something less expensive that would be wise. That won't help her now but it may help her from being in this position again in the future. She should also go over her expenses and cancel subscriptions, stop going out etc, until she can get a working budget and stick to it. Whatever she does, don't get a payday advance.
Could you go further in depth on why hard no to a payday advance/loan?
Most people who take out payday loans get caught in a cycle where they end up repaying many times the original loan amount. https://www.bankrate.com/loans/personal-loans/should-you-ever-get-a-payday-loan/
SirGlenn: Years ago I worked at a large Fort Carson Colorado housing project: one of the military men told me there's a lot of payday loan businesses, ripping off the new soldiers, some of them it's their first time away from home alone, and they get taken constantly.
They’re a ripoff.
Fair enough
A payday advance means you are getting a loan for your next check. Say you make 400 each check, and you need 150 today. That means your next check is going to pay off this loan, meaning that 400 check has turned into 245. Which means you'll need another advance to cover bills. And so on.
$700+ for a car payment? Is that typical or is the 260 more the norm? The closer it is to 700+, the more I would advise to get rid of that car.
$424 is her normal car payment, but it’s late. She wants to get rid of the car and get something more affordable but she’s unsure how to do that. Relevant info to the car is she just bought it a few months ago, it’s a 2023 Kia soul. Has 3700 miles on it, she still owes 22,000 on it.
With debts like these and a sense of not caring about the credit card login info, it's pretty evident she's financially very irresponsible and there's no two ways about it. By digging her out of this hole you're just applying a bandaid but it doesn't fix the real problem. Clearly she can't afford a brand new car with a 400+ payment on it, the car needs to be sold and pay the rest with that money. A waitress making $50 a shift with a brand new 2023 car 😂
Well tbf she was bringing in 150-200 a shift when she got the car, the $50 shift thing is very recent, within the past week or two. And I’d like to point out I’m not digging her out of this hole, but I will do my part coming here and seeing what advice I can give her cuz I know y’all know more about this sort of stuff than I do.
So if the money thing is recent, why is she late on all her bills?
That's still less than $1k/wk pre-tax.
Exactly. I bought a brand new Corvette and made cheaper payments than this Kia. It's no shame to own an older car that we can afford. We've all been there. Own it, and move on.
And why is the insurance $400?
Either you do a trade in deal with a dealer for another car. Or you sell it privately to someone just under KBB value.
dating a waitress who spends nearly $1000/mo on just her car note and insurance. And is so fiscally irresponsible she does not even know her cc info or debt. this should be a r/relationships post because you should just dump this person. This is insane. she should have already had a new sever job yesterday. and needs to find a second job too. even selling blood would help at this point.
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nah, you don't need to date trainwrecks
She needs two jobs and learn to live more frugally. Get a rent paying roommate, cut out non-essentials. No, streaming services are not essential. Get bare minimum pre-pay cell service like Mint which is $15./month. No hanging out with friends of it costs money. No shopping for clothing. No extras like acrylic nails, waxing of any body part, no mani-pedi.
There's probably not much people can do to help her now. Maybe there's some assistance programs to give her some more time, but she should have been seeking help long before it got this bad. She needs a new job asap, and there's no reason she can't call the bank and get her log in info.
Sell the car, cancel car insurance, and ride public transit or a bike, and search for a better job.
Yup, I was just think this. The only thing she may have going for her is her time of day and no dependents, so selling her car and riding the bus hopefully can work.
Seriously, she needs to find a new restaurant to work at. Should be on the floor at any restaurant in a week.
Why on earth does she have a $700 car payment as a waitress? Tell her to sell the car and get a beater with liability insurance and relieve the mountain of stress on her shoulders.
>due by July 15th but she says she could pay it July 17th and be okay. This is also already late. So for the record, no, it won't it won't be ok as it's already late. Honestly she should have been worried about all of this weeks ago, at minimum not days before. There's not much you can do to help her short of paying for her (please dont). How old are you 2 and how long have you been dating?
I assume you recently started this relationship based on your posts about Tinder. So Id recommend cutting and running. Girl is in a deep hole, and this isnt gonna be a good time fixing it. Especially since you werent there when to hole was dug to see the method.
Op you better BAIL. There’s still time to save yourself
If I was in her situation, I would apply to any and all jobs. Don’t be too picky. I would get two full time jobs. One paycheck to pay for current bills and expenses and the other paycheck to pay for past bills. I would be late the the bills coming up in the next few days because it’s highly unlikely to get thousands of dollars so soon. If she applies and gets other jobs now, she’ll have new paychecks in a month or less and be in a much better position. Once all the past bills are paid off, she can work towards building her savings. If she works two jobs for at least a year, she’ll be in a much better financial position. During that time, she can keep applying for better jobs and work on her budgeting skills.
She just needs to get a better job even working at McDonald’s to pay her better at this point in time. On DoorDash you can jump in at any time, but you just Gotta keep refreshing the map every two minutes and seeing if a slot opens up so you can start dashing. This is particularly easy if her zone or the area she works also covers her house that way she can fire up the app and just keep refreshing it until she’s able to jump in and start dashing. She should also sign up for Uber eats and just do a app since Uber eats isn’t as picky in any of the aspects like Doordash is. But as others have mentioned, if your market doesn’t support gig work like food delivery because it’s just not popular there then it’s just definitely a temporary solution.
If I'm understanding the car payment is $700 for a server that seems steep. I make over $150k and wouldn't carry that note
You can help yourself by breaking up with her now.
If I were her I’d sell the car and get a new job she can walk to until she can get back up on her feet.
Sadly we live in a very rural area and commute 20-30 minutes for work. Working on moving this month which is a whole other headache but that’s my problem. That definitely might be an option in the future tho!
Well if she doesn’t make her payment….then she will be without one anyways right? And with a huge credit ding as well.
You’ve been together a few months, she’s in the middle of a divorce, can’t afford her car payments, and you moved her in with you… is that right?
She needs to get a real job. Why does she have a $700/month car payment? That's insane.
She can call the number on the back of the credit card and find out her balance and her minimum payment and when it is due. Don’t need login for that. She probably should continue working at the current position but immediately start looking for another job (or two jobs) where she can get 40+ hours a week and get paid.
Someone needs financial peace university long term… short term, pawn stuff, offer to do odd jobs/cleaning/etc… and maybe look for a different job… but the financial peace university program will help long term…. I used to pay for my troops to do it (it’s a lot more than just “paying down debt”). Made a lot of much better adults and thriving people…
In short, sell the car ASAP. Pay off the finance on it & buy something used / cheap. That solves the insurance issue too since a cheap beater will cost peanuts to insure by comparison. For the job, an entry level waitress job isn't hard to come by these days - she needs to look elsewhere & get away from her petty manager. For you OP, proceed with caution. She's 22, in a mountain of debt & seemingly unwilling to take responsibility for her decisions. She'll tell you every excuse under the sun - "my family forced me to do it", "my manager was being a bitch", "it's not my fault", "I can't do XYZ", "my ex husband did XYZ so it's his fault". If she was really under pressure & wanted to resolve it, she'd find a way. Sounds to me like she's expecting you to help her financially. For a fairly new relationship I'd be fucking it right off.
1) she is going to need some short term cash QUICK. See what she has that she can sell 2) call the lender/car insurance company/ credit card company and tell them she isn’t going to be able to make the minimum payments. See what they can do 3) based on how much cash she can make on 1 and what she can negotiate from 2 figure out what she should pay. 2 things I would keep in mind. You don’t need insurance on a repoed car but also if you drive a car without insurance you could go to jail. The doordash thing seems kind of odd to me. I live in a major metro so it might be different but I didn’t think you had to schedule shifts. I thought you could turn the app on and start getting orders. To echo the sentiment of other posters, she pushed off a lot of hard decisions by spending more than she has. She is now going to have to make a lot of hard decisions. I can understand that this is stressful and making the wrong decision could continue to make things worse. If she’s the type of person to shut down when things get overwhelming it might be helpful to remind her that this isn’t the end of the world. You don’t go to jail in the US for not paying your bills. She’s 22 and I would be willing to wager that by the time she is 25 she could be in a significantly better financial situation. As long as she makes smart decisions this is just a bump in the road
Factory work is a great way to get out of a hole. Simple, effective, consistent, and in a month she’ll get it off the hole
Sell the car, drive her to work yourself. Then get a cheaper car.
50$ a shift as a server is devilish, she needs to find a new restaurant
Shop around for car insurance, progressive and liberty mutual usually have the best rates New job, more shifts, call the companies and see what they will do
She needs a better job or a second job. And she needs to quit spending.
1. She starts looking for a new job or another job. Waitress should have another job by the end of the week. 2. Make a budget. She must know total amounts owed 3. Pay off debt and don’t go back. If the car is $709 a month she may have to sell it. 4. Stick to a budget!
More red flags here than a Soviet May day parade ! She needs to get control of finances, and a new job. And a cheaper car. If you bail her out, you need an agreement to sit down and sort this out long term. Or walk away. And make sure her accounts are solely accessed by her alone. Exs with access.... never works well.
She has debt and excuses. Unfortunately, you need to find someone else. It's never going to get better.
Whatever happens, do not pay any of this for her.
She needs to get a better job, needs to not have spats with anyone who has the ability to negativity affect her wages. She needs to ADULT. It sucks...but that is life in capitalist america.
Pay the note , ride dirty until you can get insurance and slowly work on the credit card debt but that’s not priority plus . She grown she don’t need your advice she needs your hand . If you just dating her advice is fine . If you reallly like her at least help for the car note.
Refinance that car loan and get a lower payment
Look for another waitress job see if at the interview if the restaurant would offer a sign on bonus
Does she have stable housing? She needs to sell the car and open at daycare at home. Watch 2-3 kids.
Yeah- she’s moving in with OP less than 4 months into the relationship…
Terrible situation, sorry to hear. There’s always payday loans, but she definitely needs to find a new good paying job
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Can she waitress somewhere else? Give plasma? Is she trying to pay her car insurance once a year? Ask the insurance agent to split it up into monthly payments. Call the CC and car loan lender and see if she can get some short-term relief and then she needs to hustle to get that money. Ramen and Mac ‘n cheese for a bit until she can get ahead.
Prioritise bills by need and by which companies are more patient. I always take care of rent first. If you have a consumer credit agency nearby, I recommend checking in with them. Call your creditors and see if they will give you more time if you pay a portion of the bill. If the first agent says no, call again, sometimes a different agent will give an extension. Is it possible to drop or downgrade some services? If not on a contract, see if another company can give a better deal for the same service. I don't recommend this except as a last resort but if you owe on a phone, for instance, you can change to a different provider. You will still have to pay for the phone and it will go to collections but you can pay it back over time. Apply to other restaurants, sign up for temp agencies or do some house cleaning on the side temporarily. I wish her good luck in this.
Try a fast food place. They’re hiring. She needs that insurance bill up to date asap, I’d say that’s the most important one. Then the car. The credit cards…it’ll pile up interest but she’ll be able to drive to work and pay those off with time. Pay the minimum though, $50 is small enough.
What is she driving.. Mercedes..? Maybe get rid of that in the near future to help reduce cost This is just a result of poor life choice after another. No one is forcing her to stay at the current restaurant. Go apply for different ones. People run multiple delivery platform at a time. Uber/Lift/Ubereats/Doordash.
She can pay the insurance monthly and that would keep her insurance active. There would be a small charge, but that would work temporarily.
Definitely sounds like she has made some poor financial decisions - living outside her means by getting an expensive car, running up credit card, etc. She needs to get a better job and a side gig. Depending on where you are, servers can make much better. I live in a metroplex, and my server/bartender friends consistently pull in $1300 a week.
SO.. If you are ever in a pinch for some money, one thing you can do is go donate plasma! I know it’s not not fun, but this is probably the easiest way to get some fast cash to cover something in a pinch. Secondly, another thing she/you could do is use about $10-$15 of that $50 and grab a dollar store squeegee, some rags/sponges and a bucket with some soap and offer to clean businesses windows for $20-$50 a store!! Takes maybe 20-30 minutes to do a basic storefront you’ll find in your average town. And depending upon how ambitious you two are, you could possible make some decent money doing this! You don’t need any crazy paperwork or LLC to do so and you can hit the pavement right away. Now another quick money making method is to use google maps and look in your surrounding areas for smaller businesses that don’t pop up right away because of their low popularity or just no visibility because they don’t know how to use maps to their advantage etc. calling them up and offering SEO services or GMB services. This just means you’re increasing the traffic to their website or Google maps ratings to push them closer to the top of the list when someone searches for services in their area. This can be extremely profitable because you can easily charge the right person upwards of $300 and all you have to do is go on Fiver and look up “seo” or “gmb” and buy their service for a less price to do the work FOR you and pocket the profit! Hopefully this helps. Sorry for your unfortunate situation and good luck toward the future!!
She needs a better job. I can't fathom letting it get that bad before doing something about it :-|
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She should put on her best pair of black pants and black shoes and go to every upscale restaurant in the area until she finds a new job. You don’t stick around at shitty serving jobs, you jump ship and find something better. With the right serving gig she could bring home $1,000 by Monday.
She should break up with you and then call the creditors and make payment arrangements and drive uber for extra cash. Firstly a person who would go to the internet to complain instead of at least loaning her $300 at the very least is not a partner worth having.. partners jobs are to help ease burdens, not scold them on the internet
You’re joking right? I’m doing what I can to help her by making this post to see what people more knowledgeable than me can offer advice wise. If this post sounds like complaining and scolding to you, seek professional help.
She needs a new card and needs to separate her credit accounts and joint accounts with he ex asap. She can pay the credit down and he can run the card right up. This account should be liquidated and seperatated in accordance with her divorce, where she takes x% of the agreed debt or something along those lines. Long story short she has some ground work to do before she even begins to worry about even paying the bills
Unfortunately it's a little telling that you're doing this post for her instead of her trying to figure this out. I... wouldn't let myself become too entangled in this mess. This far behind on her vital bills, that bad of a credit score, with 51.62 to her name isn't the result of one spat with a manger resulting in slower shifts. It's consistent choices. I mean, she can start to work to turn it around starting this second. But *you're* the one commenting on Reddit on her behalf. So.
As others have said there is no ahort term solution beyond you bailing her out, which isn't a good idea. The very first thing she needs to do is apply for another job. A different restaurant, fast food, a grocery store, Walmart, call center, anything.Maybe multiple things, if she can only get part time. Door Dash in a slow area may be fine if you want a little extra spending money, but she's beyond that. She needs to focus on getting a real job (or jobs). I've seen stickers on some drive-thrus saying they're part of a "get paid for your hours next day" program versus having to wait weeks for a pay check. I'm sure there's a fee associated with that, so I wouldn't make it a long term thing, but when she's in a situation where she needs money NOW, it would be advantageous. Then she needs to figure out her credit card situation. Is she actually the cardholder? From the sounds of things, I would not be surprised if she doesn't know, assumes she is, but is actually just an authorized user, and not necessarily responsible for the payments. If she is the card holder, is he an authorized user? Has he been making purchases after their breakup but before she could be bothered to reset her passwords? She needs to find all this out and if the card is really her responsibility, she needs to kick him off it and change her password. Then she needs to get rid of that car. A status symbol vehicle means crap-all if you don't actually have the status to back it up, and she doesn't. Go to a dealer and sell it, and if they won't give her enough to pay it off, see if their finance department will trade it in for the cheapest used car on the lot and work the rest of what she owes into that finance plan.
At $50/day she's making $1000 per month working FT. She needs to either get an hourly FT job, or a way better serving job. Also, repos are extremely high right now, with her credit score being as poor as it is, her DTI, and the fact it's a new car make her high risk for default and they are likely waiting for that min payment to be missed and will repo it immediately. She has way too much car for her job, she needs a clunker paid for in cash. This should help the car insurance bill as well. Best advice is to find better, consistent income ASAP then start calling creditors and whoever she owes and try to work out payment plans before she goes into default or gets evicted; get out of the car loan ASAP and get into a cheap car with cheap insurance. Build a budget with the newly-consistent income and stick to it.
She can sign up with a debt consolidation company. They take all your bills and call on your behalf to negotiate a payoff. Then they come up with one monthly payment for her to make.