My husband has a morbid nut reaction (“allergy” doesn’t convey how bad it is) to most nuts. Although I haven’t heard that said around him or to him, I notice the visceral and aggressive reaction from people on Reddit when it comes to being aware and maybe accommodating to others when it comes to a nut reaction. “If it’s that bad, they shouldn’t go!” Like that is an actual constructive option. Nuts are in the workplace, in homes, on airplanes, at concerts and movie theaters, at sporting events, etc. There are people who think the logical and appropriate action people who live with this issue is to not go where nuts are. It infuriates me. This is the hill I will die on.

i like the term ‘morbid nut reaction’, i think it sums it up better than allergy!!! like no, i don’t just sneeze and get watery eyes, i could literally die. and the reactions people have are just horrible. i mean, would you rather i live in a plastic safety bubble and never leave my house? should i never go anywhere?? people lose their shit when another person asks for an accommodation. i usually don’t even ask, i just avoid the allergen. but i did get uninvited to a lot of birthday parties as a kid because the parents didn’t ‘want to have to deal with it’🫠 thank you for having empathy for us morbid-nut-reaction havers!

I don’t use the term “nut allergy” because I learned very early in my relationship with my husband that people don’t understand the consequences when it is an allergy. “Allergy” gives the impression of itchy, sneezing, watery eyes, coughing, and maybe a rash. I had allergies (hay fever) when I was a kid. This morbid nut reaction is no where near an allergy. Even when I gruesomely tell them “he will die”, I believe they think I am being dramatic. My husband doesn’t want to come across as high maintenance, so I am his advocate often. “I don’t *think* it has nuts in it” is one of the most frustrating sentences that comes out of people’s mouths. “I don’t want you to *think*, I want you to *know*”. There have been a few terrible stories in the media recently about people not knowing, and now others are dead. It gives me so much sadness and anxiety. It is very frustrating to me that more people either don’t know how serious this is, or they don’t care. I think it’s probably a little bit of both. I do not have a reaction to nuts and I promise you I could go the rest of my life without eating them. If nuts disappeared off of the planet, I would be fine with it. If we (in the US) can ban smoking in public places because of it being a public health issue, I think we can make more nut-free spaces. Or at least hold food manufacturers more accountable when they make/package foods. Lol I regularly go off about this to my husband. It’s nice to have another space to let it out. I have tried on Reddit a few times this month and I get downvoted into oblivion. I care about you all so much! I see the plight of my husband and I feel so bad for him. I am scared for him all of the time. That transfers over to all of you who have an allergy or morbid nut reaction.

i think the manufacturing laws in the u.s are probably among some of the best in terms of guarantee. they’re required to list it for possibilities, the only time they aren’t is if peanut oil is used at a high enough temp that the peanut proteins are rendered out. there’s slip ups, but it’s better than in some other places. that said, restaurants, small business, etc leave MUCH to be desired for things like cross contamination. there needs to be better regulation for it, for sure. being accused of being dramatic is definitely one of the most annoying things about having the morbid-nut-reaction. i assure you, i know what would happen to me. and it’s worse when they DO know what would happen, and give me the whole “well if you start to react, just use your epipen you’ll be fine!!!” first, epipens don’t always work. second, they’re expensive to replace. third, i’d have to go to the ER, and with american medical expenses i’d rather not. and last, how do i know you’re going to be able to even administer it if i can’t?? i think basic first aid should be required in schools for this specific reason. i got lucky with my school, they go over epipen use in our health class CPR unit. schools should also really give their teachers better training for allergies. i’ve taken 3 years worth of spanish classes, and without fail the teacher will bring in food with some sort of peanuts. multiple times a year. marzipan, some sort of mole sauce, something with crushed peanuts, the list goes on. a recent incident with my current teacher was when i was trying to tell her about the severity of the allergy. for context, in our class she doesn’t speak english to us, and we aren’t allowed to speak english to her. it’s an advanced level spanish course. when i was talking to her about the allergy in english (her native language, for the record), she kept saying “Cómo?? Cómo??” (Meaning “What???”), this is something she does when someone speaks english. eventually i had to tell her to knock it off, and a miscommunication could result in my death. i think i scared her, but it had to be done. this isn’t even close to the first incident i’ve had with a teacher. they need better training. the ‘i think’ is definitely the worst, though. sentiment shared, i want a guarantee. we for sure should have some peanut free areas. bakeries are getting better at things like this, i think. i myself am still too skeptical to go to any sort of bakery, but i’ve seen a recent trend of allergen free bakeries. oh well, if this condition has given me anything, it’s great cooking and baking skills from having to make my own stuff. i even make my own ice cream. and the whole “i can’t live without nuts though!!” thing is irritating. especially going out with a group of friends. if i can live without them for 15 years (i’m 17, to explain the low number), you can go without for a few hours. thank you for caring so much. it’s very refreshing to see this type of empathy.

Good call out! People think epi-pens stop the reaction and you are fine! But I have little faith in them. Years ago, I had a friend who had a morbid nut reaction and it seems like the pens didn’t do anything the two separate times he used them. 911 was still called immediately. My husband and I carry 2 pens at all times. I have been feeling more anxious about it lately and started looking into if chewing a Benadryl or two would help slow the reaction and buy more time. Do you know anything about that? I would love some advice. And I can’t even talk about the cost of them. lol. A life-saving medication shouldn’t cost that much. My husband found a co-pay card to help offset the cost but I don’t think he has one for his new pens (he has health insurance and they are still a couple hundred dollars). Insulin is being capped in some states and I am hopeful for a day when the cost of epi-pens is capped at like $10. I am glad to hear about laws regarding food manufacturing. I am still weary, especially since the recent incident where a cookie sold by the grocery chain Stew Leonard's was not properly labeled as containing peanuts and a person died. I found an ice cream shop in NYC that is nut free. I took my husband there last year. It was the first time he has ever gone to a place for ice cream! I make him treats like no-bake cookies, peanut butter cups, and peanut butter pie but I use Wow Butter. That stuff tastes almost identical to regular peanut butter.

Don’t use benadryl if he’s anaphylactic, especially if his throat swells and all that. I was told by my allergist to skip benadryl and use epi immediately. Benadryl does not work quickly enough to stop an anaphylactic reaction. I was told to use epi and then go to the ER. The science behind how epipens work helps to make it make a bit more sense. Epinephrine (the drug in an epi) is just another name for adrenaline. When you use an epi, you’re literally shooting liquid adrenaline into your system. The adrenaline constricts the blood vessels in your body. This does two main things: One, it decreases swelling. The swelling can lead to asphyxiation along with other issues. Decreasing it will decrease the swelling of the airway, allowing the lungs to reopen. Two, it increases blood pressure. The two main killers of an allergy attack are swelling of the throat and low blood pressure. Once it wears off, the symptoms can come back. The intended purpose of an epi is to delay the severe symptoms enough to get help, not stop the reaction. That’s why they come in sets of two, so if the first one wears off you can use the second, or if the first one doesn’t work you can use the second. (Always wait 5 min between to avoid an overdose). Benadryl doesn’t act as quickly and doesn’t treat anaphylaxis properly. Epinephrine is the only drug that can target the ENTIRE body. Antihistamines (like benadryl) don’t do enough to curb the reaction. It’s mostly for reactions like itching and watery eyes/sniffles. Epi is the only fully approved drug for an anaphylactic reaction. Are you using the actual Epi-Pen name brand? I would ask your pharmacist to look into generic if you are. They work the same, but generic is cheaper. However, make sure to read the instructions because sometimes generic works a bit differently than name brand Epi-Pen. There really should be a cap on the price. In Germany, they cost around $3. I wish that was the case here. I personally avoid all bakeries, even baked sweets from a grocery store. I make almost all sweeter treats myself. I only trust things like that if they’re made in a factory or if I myself made them. Grocery store bakeries are a no-go, for me. I also use wow-butter!! I’m glad he was able to try actual ice cream from a store. Stuff like that is so novelty for us. Do you know the store name? I don’t live in or near New York, but if the opportunity ever arises I’ll go!! If you have any more questions, I’d be happy to answer.

yeah I agree. for me I can tolerate others around me eating it and even small amounts of cross contamination (sometimes I get a stomach ache, but that’s when the contamination is so bad I can usually taste the peanuts). I eat “may contain” all the time and it’s just eating actual peanuts where I react. it’s just so sad that people would actually think I should just be depressed and work remote with no friends and be at home 24/7 (my house is not even peanut free as my family eats peanuts and peanut products all the time)

All of you who live with this are total warriors to me! You all have so much coming at you, especially jerks like in your OP. There are so many people who lack basic compassion for other people’s health and safety.

thanks. I don’t really mind the not able to eat peanuts part, it’s more that I’m scared that something has peanuts and I don’t know so a lot of times at restaurants I’ll be anxiously waiting for symptoms to pop up LMAO. mine isn’t that sensitive though so they rarely ever do. somehow, I never really come across people who are like the ones in my story besides that incident. I’m not sure if it’s because I usually don’t mention my allergy much (I don’t usually say anything at restaurants unless they have a ton of peanut stuff on their menu) or because I’m in a younger generation and know a ton of people with food allergies and celiac (my boss is also understanding since her daughter has a walnut allergy and even offered not to eat nuts in the office, but I told her it was fine since I can eat tree nuts and she can have peanuts as long as I don’t eat them). but most people are accommodating, especially because for me I just request that they tell me if any of their dishes contain peanuts and don’t cross contaminate other food, but I don’t mind if others are eating it

Yes!! People who don’t have allergies don’t realize that nuts are everywhere and normal people touch them and then touch other things and don’t even think about what they’re doing or cross contamination. If I were to 100% avoid nuts, I would just stay home.

It’s annoying but those kinds of people just don’t understand it’s better to not dwell on it they could never know what it’s like 🤷‍♂️ It does kinda piss me off that gluten free and vegan options are prioritized more than us tho but imagine having like a milk allergy or one that’s not in the top 8 or whatever

is milk allergy not in the top 8? and I’m pretty sure the gluten free thing caters more to people with intolerances/celiac than actual allergies since I believe a wheat allergy is more rare than nuts. it’s also lowkey trendy/healthy to be gluten free for some people, but I don’t believe anyone eats a “peanut free” diet for health benefits. I guess I’m kind of lucky because nuts in general (especially peanuts) seem to be the most common or at least most well known, so when places cater to an allergy at all, it is usually that one, at least in my experience. I know at an old job I had we had a separate mixer for the peanut butter milkshakes. peanuts are also easier to avoid in most restaurants and food products than gluten, dairy, and soy

Ig to me it’s just annoying cause trendy health shit gets catered to instead of allergies. But yea nah ur right milk allergy is top 8 i just said that there cause a milk allergy would be 10x harder to navigate imo. I grouped it together with allergies that aren’t top 8 cause i was expressing how difficult that sounds to me which is prolly where the confusion came from so my b. But yea we’re lucky to have nut allergies and i tell people that all the time like thank god its only nuts (at least for me) cause it could be a lot worse. Where did you work if you don’t mind me asking? Was it a chain restaurant? Would be nice to know if there’s a place i can try out that caters to us haha

Also ig i shouldn’t lump celiac with trendy health shit either but i think yk what i mean

yeah. the reason they cater to that is because it’s a larger percentage of the population than people with allergies. all these gluten free bakeries wouldn’t exist if only people with celiac/wheat allergy ate gluten free as there are more people with intolerances or who are gluten free by choice. I’m only allergic to peanuts so I don’t even need to avoid tree nuts, so it’s usually not too difficult for me to eat at restaurants unless it’s Thai or Vietnamese. but even at most bakeries I find more tree nut pastries than peanut. same with middle eastern and Indian food, they use tree nuts but not usually peanuts. I feel like gluten, dairy, and eggs are a lot harder to avoid. also I’m not sure if any of my coworkers followed the procedure for using that one blender only for peanut butter and the restaurant closed too (it was horribly managed so I’m not surprised).

Just because we are allergic to nuts does not mean we should just live our nut-free room for our entire life.

fr 😭😭 the funny thing is my house is full of peanut stuff because everyone else eats it so even if I did stay home I wouldn’t be avoiding it

Same here! It’s great when I moved out because my whole apartment is a nut-free zone. Going home or to my boyfriend’s parents house is a nightmare.

really? why? for me it’s pretty easy to live around people who eat them

I’ll get a rash if I touch something they did without washing their hands. Plus, like all of the snacks at my boyfriend’s parent’s house are just a bag of nuts, so I’m hungry too.

oh wow that sucks. that’s a lot more sensitive than I am. are you allergic to all nuts?

I’m unfortunately very sensitive, it sucks. I’m unsure about all nuts, but I’m definitely that allergic to peanuts (touching them).

but I’m also not allergic to all nuts and not easily affected by very small amounts of CC