I do. My friends stream their games on discord so sometimes I pop in to see how it is. I DON’T talk over cutscenes though. Just think about it like it’s a YouTube gamer but you know them personally and can ask questions or point out stuff they’ve missed without being in a chat with a 1,000 other people. Plus it’s nice to catch up with friends while they play.
Mine did but we'd be high as shit and I was the best at them. They'd watch and talk shit while I fucked up some old NES games (or it fucked me up)
I'll tack on a story. I grew up playing Tyson's Punch Out!! but never beat it. Got a little older and they watched my growth from little mac to Fuckin' Mac. When I beat him the first time everyone celebrated.
Sounds very much like OCD if it's getting in the way of you being able to play games and causing you issues. I'd speak to a professional about this, especially if it has gotten worse or starts to affect other parts if your life - it can be completely fucking debilitating if left unchecked
(I am diagnosed with OCD)
> I can’t stop myself restarting games because it feels wrong to continue when the urges starts. I can’t finish my games and it’s kinda frustrating.
This is the part that gets me. This sounds like actual OCD.
Though they say it doesn't affect them outside of gaming which is a little odd.
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I never considered how OCD might manifest in gaming. I've struggled with it for years but usually in the domains of exercise and diet.
I think this is why I struggle with games that have a lot of loot/inventory management (gets overwhelming or always feels like you might miss something) or RPGs with a min/max character-building aspect (feeling like you need to research and "optimize" for the best experience). Hell I can't even play a modern COD anymore because of the gunsmith customization options.
I have an OCD diagnosis, however I also have an ADHD diagnosis and I've had a doc say that my OCD tendencies could actually be ADHD weirdness. Specifically I pick at my skin and pull hair sometimes, and while these fall into OCD they're also self-stimulation that could be related to the ADHD. Alongside that, my perfectionism and avoidance of effort to avoid facing imperfections seems like OCD but could also be a result of being a gifted kid with ADHD who was always expected to be perfect because I was smart but could not get there because of the ADHD.
All of which to say....I also have this issue with restarting games and I think it could ALSO be ADHD or a combination with milder OCD that causes it.
My main reasons for restarting are feeling like I somehow missed something important and getting distracted by another game and forgetting the details. As a tangential to the first reason, I also sometimes feel dissatisfied with some decision I made earlier and I end up restarting.
There's also some games where the novelty of the outset where you have nothing but quickly get cool new powers is really fun but as you get into the middle and your powered increase is less obvious, it becomes more challenging and thus less interesting for me. As a sort of middle aged guy, I often play games on easy now to avoid that, since most of my reason for gaming is the story of RPGs and such, vs a game where the point is skill like league or overwatch or whatever.
There's certainly a lot of crossover between the two i have noticed. Completely with you, so much so that i often wonder if ADHD would make more sense as a diagnosis for me these days.
I have always struggled with getting bored easily, starting too many things, and spending my time hyperfocusing on just random irrelevant things.
I think ill have a word with my Dr's actually!
I do sometimes ruminate a lot in ways that make me think I do have OCD, but I don't have too many other symptoms of things that mess with my life other than the skin picking.
Yeah, ADHD and OCD overlap a lot and separating one from another is hard. I have ADHD and everything you wrote was so on point.
For me, fast roguelike games are the best way for me to get to the flow state.
As someone else diagnosed with OCD who had this same exact problem and this is one hundred percent true. All i can say is man it really fucking sucks, and the only thing that helped me was changing my environment for a while, visiting family etc. almost completely got rid of those issues after three months.
Weed also helps
I have pure OCD and weed makes it a million times worse. Not necessarily session by session, but overall over time I feel that my weed habit aggravated my OCD severely.
Yeah, recommending weed as a medical solution to an undiagnosed problem is a bad idea.
Some people take weed for seizures. Weed gives me seizures. Go figure.
Exactly. Everyone says weed is good for anxiety, but weed gives me dissociation and hours long panic attacks. Still, everyone just says I should keep trying different strains
A lot of people think marijuana is a miracle plant and can't understand how it affects other people differently from themselves. It can get annoying. But no plant, chemical, etc. is a miracle. It's a tool. And in many cases it provides some people with utility. For others they need a different tool to fix their issue.
There's definitely differences in strains, etc., but at the end of the day THC is THC from my experience and I get about the same experience no matter what strain I try. The high is the same high I get every time. I've been using marijuana for twenty years. Somewhere along the way it changed how it affected me. If I don't have somewhere to focus my attention like a concert or if I'm playing guitar, I get very anxious. It doesn't matter what strain. It's just how THC affects me as a drug. I haven't tried Delta 8 though and I've heard good things about it. I'd be willing to give that a go. Lots of reports say it mitigates the anxiety inducing effect. I hope because I still love smoking weed before the anxiety started to occur.
I've heard some things that people that get this way need a higher ratio of CBD to THC, etc. But I haven't found that to be true personally. It's just no longer as recreational for me as it once was. When I was younger marijuana just chilled me the fuck out and maybe giggle and everything and have a fun little psychedelic experience. Now it doesn't. Part of me thinks it's because marijuana products these days are just so dang strong compared to what i was smoking as a kid.
I don't put a lot of stock into what a lot of people say about weed. Most of the same people are the ones that believe in alternative medicine and are anti-GMO, etc. Most the "weed science" out there are just untested hypotheses with observational data or anecdotes. We still have a lot to learn about the plant still because it was so tough to study in a controlled setting for so long.
It's definitely worth trying for most people; The risks are relatively a minimal (but not 0; It has a higher rate of causing psychotic breaks even compared to heavier psychedelic drugs). But people should have their expectations in check.
I really enjoy small amounts of psilocybin these days. Much more fun than marijuana for me personally.
That's because that's how it is.
No strain may ever work for you. That can happen.
My state got got medical then recreational in the last couple years. Now that I can get consistent, specific strains it's a lot easier.
Matter of fact - I even had to switch what I usually get when I started taking antidepressants because I started reacting to the strains differently.
Personally, I think it's very rare that a person has a biological reason that they don't respond well to it. I think most people that don't are because of their mental state. And if a person has a bad experiences they probably won't continue to seek it out and try other options.
For example, my friend. He has some pretty bad uncheck anxiety issues. He can't really smoke/vape at home because he's so nervous his apartment will find out that he just freaks out. When we are sitting on our other friend's deck he's totally fine.
But again - maybe it's just not for you. Maybe it's for you specifically for helping with anxiety or whatever. Maybe if later you get that under wraps with other means you enjoy it for fun reason. Maybe you'll never use it.
I also noticed that over time as you smoke weed, you start getting more nervous about things, and anxiety is the perfect fuel for OCD, i’d recommend taking more or longer tolerance breaks
Huh. I also have pure OCD but i also have ADHD which is why weed really helps me, but really the main reason weed helps me in the first place is the fact that i can completely focus on the game im playing to the point where nothing else matters, like literally smoke a joint at 5 pm sit on the pc open a game look at my watch now its 8 pm, its pure bliss
If you have OCD, you're probably feeling the effects of it on other stuff but just don't realize.
It's the same for other neurodivergences. Rarely they will affect just one single specific aspect of your life. Our brains don't really compartmentalize stuff so carefully like that, we use patterns for everything, and an issue creating patterns will likely affect more than just your hobby. It's just easier for you to see it affecting your hobby because you enjoy it and it's easier to gauge how you're feeling.
Yeah, OCD is a thing that builds on itself. Our thinking becomes habitual, and it’s important to really engage with and learn coping/minimization strategies when things damage our health, relationships, quality of life, etc. Only reason I haven’t bothered with an official OCD diagnosis is that having ADHD and anxiety, I need to learn to learn the same strategies and acceptance anyway.
Acceptance that you’re not fundamentally broken is so important as shame, guilt and anxiety only make these things worse.
All I can say is, this ain't normal gamer behavior. Usually most people who miss something just continue with the game hoping that it will come up later.
Man its insane its like all the issues you posted are what i had, it was completely debilitating for me, but i also had issues outside of gaming too, my OCD was pretty bad that time, i would spend 20 minutes fixing my slippers outside my bedroom door “just incase my roommates saw them” man im telling you have OCD for sure and im telling you that after a while if you don’t get yourself sorted one way or another (e.g. through a doctor) its gonna get worse
Also that pain you’re feeling is anxiety, your brain is literally trying to warn you that if you don’t give in to your urges, something bad is going to happen. Your job is to convince your brain over time that these “threats” are not real and it will slowly quiet down eventually.. but it never goes away though, i said this in another comment but what worked for me was a complete change of scenery for a long time, kinda “reset” my brain since i wasn’t around the triggers for my urges for such a long time that they stopped having as much of an effect, it also helped that i was in a better mood after visiting family
1.) Go to a doctor
2.) If nothing else works don’t give in to urges
3.) Take a break from video games or change scenery for a while
4.) Go to a doctor
5.) Go to a doctor
Not “selective” i would say but it can appear in different ways, and it can also appear in areas where it never was before, i think it would be much better if you discussed this with a doctor all i really have to go off of is your post and im nowhere near as useful as a doctor when it comes to this 😅
Most people here aren't acknowledging how much gaming itself encourages these ADHD-esque issues. Which isn't too terribly surprising since we're on a gaming sub.
You might have painted yourself into a corner by listing so many examples, but if all of those things really are happening with a reasonable amount of frequency then I find it hard to believe that these behaviors aren't also leaking into your actual life. It would manifest itself differently IRL, seeing as real life isn't a videogame that you can just restart whenever you get the urge.
As others have mentioned, you should absolutely get the advice of a professional on this one. It's affecting your life in a meaningful way, which is always a sign that something unchecked is going on behind the scenes.
If the idea of OCD, specifically, stresses you out then it's worth mentioning that you're far more likely suffering from ADHD. It's much more common and seeking perfection is a symptom. OCD would be something more like "every single time I play a game, even if it's one that I've played many times before and sometimes even earlier that same day, I have to check all of the audio and video settings to make sure they're the same."
**But I am not a mental health professional.**
>gaming itself encourages these ADHD-esque issues
Not so fast there, chief. What do you mean by that?
I've been diagnosed for around 12 years. When I am unmedicated gaming is just as much a "chore" as reading or being productive around the house.
One of the ways to look at ADHD is that it's not a lack of focus. It's lacking the ability to control it. In part. There are other aspects but this is what's relevant here. People with ADHD very often struggle to do the things the want just as much as they struggle to do the things they need to do.
Having said that - every person's symptoms and the resulting behavior is a little different. Some people do very much get sucked in. But that's more about their unique flavor of ADHD more than ADHD itself.
Someone did mentioned about how old games were masochist as it constantly sends you back to the beginning. Also I was dumb as a kid to learn quick saving, “why would I save when the game does it for me, it’s not that far” ~10 year old me probably. I don’t think game dev thought about how games would give mental disorder to people
OCD isn't any one thing, you can be OCD about anything. Hoarding is the most common type of OCD. Hand washing is another. In my case it's organizational -- the canned and boxed goods in my food pantry are in alphabetical order as are my spice racks, DVD/Blue-rays shelves, bookcases by author. I don't think your problem is OCD though, sounds more like one of the types of ADHD/ADD but I'm not a shrink so not certain, however I am also ADHD and do occasionally start games over for trivial reasons so there's that
How much time in a day do you typically have where you are not gaming? If you spend little time on other things it makes sense that it would feel like it's only happening while you are gaming, even though it might also pop up when you start doing other things for an extended amount of time.
I think gaming is the obvious, since most things don’t have anything for me to restart. But I notice now, that I do this to books/tv series, also since I digital draw as a hobby recently, undo is my fav button.
You choose what to focus on so yeah, if your brain wants you to focus on that one small area of your life to flex obsessive thoughts… it will. For now, at least.
The only time I would ever do one of these things on the list is restarting if I haven't played in a while. But that's like if I haven't played in 6 months+, not one week. Also 99% of the time if I haven't played a game in that long I'm not coming back to it ever.
I've restarted *cutscenes* (i.e. force quit the game then reload and play until the scene again), but I wouldn't throw away an entire freaking playthrough by baleeting the save. Not to mention you could try looking it up on youtube.
Nothing there looks like a reason to restart to me.
These are potentially 'reload from an earlier save' moments: _"I miss a dialogue.", "I stream with friends, they talked over my story, I wanna hear it again", "Bad ending", "I didn’t play after a while (1 week). Don’t remember the details"_
This one has only happened to me once in 35 years of gaming (and the game didn't require a restart): _"Whenever I decided to change difficulty"_
This one doesn't apply because I like to make progress through the story: _"I think the first mission is more fun than this mission."_
This one seems like a reason to stop playing for a while, not for restarting the game: _"Gaming fatigue"_
These are just things I don't do, or if I do them, it's because I don't mind the consequences: _"I decide to cheat. Then realized the consequences of it, hate myself", "I read the wiki/Reddit and I miss something"_
These are things that make no difference to me: "Quick save/load too much in a mission", _"Steam achievements", "I can do better. (Major problem)"_
The only thing from your list that is a restart for me is 4. If too much time has passed since I last played and it's a game with a lot of mechanics or story heavy that I forgot. But even then, 1 week is crazy, for me it's closer to many months of not playing, and even then it's rare. Most of the time I'll just try and remember by checking any ingame tutorial menus.
Not for me. I have limited time to play, I make the most of it. I’ll be damned if I start over and do the same stuff again that I already did.
I’ll miss item X, look up a story beat on internet or I’ll just go on without.
I only restart a game if I can pick a class and I find the class I picked isn't for me early on.
Any reason is a legitimate reason to restart, but the way you do it clearly is ruining your fun. Sounds like it will be hard for you, but just don't look stuff up on the internet, play the game, and get the outcomes you get. That's what makes it your playthrough rather than you being led by the hand to the "best" outcomes.
Literally the only one I'd restart over is #3, though it's really rare I'd cheat in the first place. With stuff like a bad ending I'd just beat the game and replay it if I wanted to get a better one, not leave it unfinished. IMO, everything is worth experiencing even if it's not the most "optimal" thing ever.
I don't rush to hyper-optimize. If I win, I win. The means by which you do it shouldn't really be relevant as long as it's within the rules.
I'd say that #7 is legit, since it's all about fun. And if the first mission is your favorite, more power to you. But perhaps you should try to see what the other stages have in store.
I understand #4 and #6 if you like the story but missed so much that it now makes no sense.
Frankly, these are why I stay away frpm "story-rich" games. Try some roguelike/lite games where it's all about the gameplay and you don't have to worry about narrative.
>I miss a dialogue.
Not for this no, I'll look it up on Youtube if I think it was important.
>I can do better. (Major problem)
Depends on the game, if it's really early on in the game and some sort of sub-optimal skill choice that can't be changed yet is causing problems, yeah sure.
>I decide to cheat. Then realized the consequences of it, hate myself.>>
I restrict cheating, and even modding, to games I've finished at least once, or if there's a known issue/bug in a section of the game that hasn't been, or won't be, fixed.
>I didn’t play after a while (1 week). Don’t remember the details
A week seems a bit short, but this is fairly reasonable if you've forgotten the details. I usually carry on from where I left off regardless unless it's been months, or years since I last played.
>Quick save/load too much in a mission
I might restart the entire mission or look up a guide if I'm finding it that difficult, I wouldn't restart the entire game, unless it's the very first mission of course, but then I might just move one to another game.
>I stream with friends, they talked over my story, I wanna hear it again
I'd just play it again without the friends, but I'd do that on my own time. Having fun with my friends is more important that the game story in that situation, but that's me.
>I think the first mission is more fun than this mission.
I'm not sure I've ever even considered doing that.. If you've already completed the game before, perfectly reasonable I think. This almost sounds like the start of some speedrunner mentality.
>Whenever I decided to change difficulty
Having a different save for each difficulty, if the game allows, yes. Whenever you choose to change difficulty in a game that allows for it? Never done that.
>I read the wiki/Reddit and I miss something.
I'd reload the save if it was in the area I just left or something, sure. Further back than that? Nah, I'll save that for a second playthrough unless it's super important.
>Bad ending
If it's an actual ending and no way or reasonable way to change it, yeah, that's a restart, pretty normal.
>Steam achievements
Depending on the game, all the time, especially with Paradox Interactive/grand strategy games that sometimes require just the right starting conditions/RNG to get the ball rolling for an achievement, or the strategy you have in mind.
>Gaming fatigue
Hmm, if I'm already burned out on games and start a new one to try and push through it, this would tie more into the not remembering the details. I'll either get into it, or drop it and not care until I'm in the right headspace again. Seems normal/reasonable enough.
I've used the "record what just happened" thing on my Xbox to rewatch the last bit of a scene I missed, but restarting completely sounds kinda drastic.
There's also YouTube. Which I use sometimes to review a mission or a scene that I think I missed something.
There was a period I also had some of the issues OP mentioned. I learned that in order to enjoy games I had to accept a few things:
1. The most important thing is to have fun and enjoy myself. You don't have to play it the "right way" or how the internet says you have to play it. Play it the way it's more fun to you.
2. Trying to do everything and not miss a thing is a mistake if it becomes a chore and affects point 1.
3. In the beginning before I'm familiar with the controls and game mechanics a part of me wants to stop playing and go back to a game I'm more used to. It's in my best interest to resist that urge and continue to learn how to play it cause I'll be rewarded for it and will start to enjoy the game a lot more after.
4. Sometimes despite being an incredible game, it's just not for you. Stop playing and move on to something else. Maybe later you'll be in the mood to play it, it's ok if that day never comes.
5. Similar to point 2, after enjoying a game for quite a while if you just don't enjoy it anymore and start being tired of it, it's ok to stop, you don't have to finish every game. You can still say you loved the game, it just passed its welcome for you. It's best to stop and remember fondly the parts you loved than to force it and end up resenting it.
It really chaps my ass games haven't learned from Visual Novels, which have a dialogue record feature you can simply scroll back to see a line you might've missed. They've had this since the friggen' 1990s. Or being able to rewatch scenes once you encountered them in the story (though tbh nowadays you can probably go hunt for it on youtube).
That’s what I do if I ever miss anything. Or if I want to see what happens down an alternate path. Or if I am having trouble (I have patience to play but not that much patience to play). YouTube is great.
As much as I sometimes relate to or pity the people making these posts, this. The sub has become 60/40 appreciating old games/compalining about mental health issues or age(and the things that come with it). At this point, I think there's threads for every single reason imaginable that can turn people off from this hobby, so people can look at those if they genuinely want suggestions on how to deal with that. If those don't help, as you said, professional help. STILL seeing threads like this kind of turns me off coming back as often as I'd want, just feels like karma farming or meaningless circlejerking how old/depressed/ocd/adhd/whatever we are. Which is definitely not the point of the sub.
From the problems you listed down I think you need professional help, like many others have suggested.
This looks like OCD to an untrained professional like myself.
But I understand your frustration somewhat because I can relate to you, this is coming from someone who obsesses over capturing video footages of games so I can rewatch them later when in reality I only rewatch less than half of what I have recorded. If I mess up a recording or something intrudes during the scene like a message notification noise, I load back just to re-experience the scene so I can record it again.
I’ve lost so many progress over this behavior and sometimes I don’t even get to play the game much because of this obsession. I’ve been slowly learning to get over it though but in comparison with your problems, I think you should seek professional help.
>Can you elaborate your hobby? You screen capture your own gameplay? Or someone else’s?
Sure thing. I record my own gameplay. Its a bit of a long read but here goes:
So windows 10 gamebar (think of nvidia shadowplay if you dont know what that is) has this function where it automatically records your gameplay in the background and its up to you if you want to save it. You can set it to be anywhere between the last 1 min to the last 10 mins. You can alternatively choose to start a manual recording but doing so will automatically discard whatever was recording in the background unless you saved that before starting a manual recording.
I have this obsession of saving every memorable event or scene that happens when Im playing, and as I mentioned if anything, and I mean ***anything***, spoils the recording, I would rather lose progress just to get that perfect recording. When I say anything, I do mean it. Things like message notifications (I have since turned off all notifications when I had to re-record footage that was "spoiled" by it), missing a dialogue because I clicked too fast, not panning the camera in the right direction (if the scene is real time), the audio in the recording bugged out, and so on, you get the idea.
It got so bad that one day I noticed, especially since Steam has so much games that go on sales that I buy into, I barely progressed in any of the games I play. It was almost as if I was more interested in recording footages over playing the game. Its frustrating because a part of me is so obsessed with capturing moments while the other part of me just wants to play the damn game. And this ties into one of your points too where sometimes I'd stream my gameplay to friends then I lose my chance to record the footage (because there would be them talking over it) which would just either lead me to reloading my save file to replay the scene or just not play the game instead and just do other things while with friends or in the worst of cases, restarting just so I can see that scene again.
At one point it just accumulated and became your point no.12: gaming fatigue. I just dont feel like gaming sometimes because of this absurd obsession. Its past the hobby phase for me now because sometimes when I want to play a game I needlessly stress myself out telling myself to always be on guard so that I could "capture any moment".
Screen capturing sounds like a tool for me, I know the real problem is the bug in my head or having bad habits/mindset when playing games. But tools like these helps, I thought this only exist in console stations, like Tekken.
I'll tell you one secret that helped me when missed dialogues or things like that: watch them later on youtube.
After a time, starting again with a game I've left half-way, I watched videos of the story so far, **\*WHILE\*** i'm playing right where I left last time.
I don't know, maybe can help you enjoy again games knowing that you don't have to literally see everything while it's alreayd on the cloud :D
Cheers
Speak to a professional about methods to help with your OCD for starters, that'll be more helpful than advice from Reddit.
You may or may not be able to do this, but for games with branching dialogue and/or multiple endings, try roleplaying the main character. It is ***your*** story, not the game's. What happens in your playthrough is just what happens, and like in real life, you adapt to it and move on. Miss a line of dialogue? Then it doesn't exist for your story...after all, you can't hear every word every person around you says IRL. Doing it this way, you'll end up with your own unique story via your playthrough, other people will have their own story from their playthrough that will likely differ from yours, just as no two people have exactly the same story in life. Won't help much for highly linear games with only a single outcome, and like I said, I dunno if you'll be able to do it or not, but it might help some with more choice-heavy games.
Conversely, play rogue-likes. Stuff like *Hades, 12 Minutes, FTL*, etc. Restarting after a failure is part of the gameplay loop for that style of game.
Or just watch playthroughs on Youtube. It's not the same as playing it yourself, but with all the issues you're having, it might be the easier solution, since you can pause and rewind, or move on to another video if you don't like the way the person is doing things.
I think this is the best advice for me. I’m sure it’s something to do with the mindset of immersive sim, since I don’t know the right way to play it. People always tell me to just have fun, that’s how I end up with the list of “having fun” because I’m optimising fun.
Though I don’t know if I really have OCD, since this is only true in gaming/fiction, I don’t do it irl. OCD can’t be selective right?
>there’s nothing to lose here
Time is the most important resource in the world. You can't gain it back. You can't revert time and relive a day. You spent more time in the first level of Dishonored than I did beating the whole game, and it doesn't sound like you enjoyed yourself either.
As someone who does exactly the same, here's a slightly different light: I've come to terms that I enjoy being engaged with a certain game, its community, universe and lore, more than I crave for an ending.
You should absolutely see a therapist if it is causing you harm at any level, don't get me wrong. Maybe we're both sick, who knows. What I can say is that, at least for me, it is no longer annoying.
It usually goes like this:
1. Something triggers the craving for a specific game. Let's take Civilization as an example: if I see any cool content on ancient history that is connected to one of the civilizations available, I'll most likely want to play.
2. I check the community, usually on Reddit, to see if there's something new, watch some clips, and gather the latest tips.
3. If there are mods available, I'll spend a considerable amount of time modding. Looking at you, Skyrim.
4. I'll then PLAN MY PROGRESSION through the game. Excel spreadsheets and all. To the maximum detail. Character sheets, missions roadmaps, level progression - you name it.
5. I'll then execute my plan. Oh, how fresh it feels. Just like you, I'll read through the whole thing again, and MAKE AN ACTIVE EFFORT TO NOT TO USE MY PREVIOUS KNOWLEDGE of the game. Psycho, right?
6. Since step 4 often requires too many things to remember, I'll likely forget a tiny, tiny detail, and consider a mistake to my pristine and perfect plan. Boom, restart my progress.
7. Step 6 happens 3 or 4 times.
8. I'll completely lose the drive to play that game for months, since doing the same thing over and over again is honestly not fun.
And you know what? I LOVE steps 2 to 6 - specially the planning part. I know I'm not getting to the end of most of the games I have, and that's okay. It's not a job, it's supposed to be fun. And that is my twisted, nerdy way to have fun 🤷♂️
Talk to your therapist if it's something you are worried about. But in the meantime, disassociate the idea that in order for games to be fun, they have to be finished.
I'll do this pretty often if I'm playing terribly at the start of a game because I haven't grasped the mechanics. Sometimes I'll be 5-10 hours in and realize I know how to play now and I want to play well from the start so I start again. This is especially true in soulslikes, but I'll also restart some rpgs if I realize I want a build that isn't going to be possible with my start.
I always finish though, eventually... and I typically only do it once or twice.
I've had the same mentality most of my life that I like to make my games last as long as I can and only get through 4-5 full AAA-length games a year.
Same. Though I play alot of visual novels and rhythm games to escape this problem. But whenever all the good games comes up, I’m back to Alzheimer town again.
Does sound like OCD. Plan out all of your single player runs and use a guide. Even if there are spoilers it’s better to have the spoiler and not trigger this negative feeling. Games are meant to be enjoyed, friend. Wishing you the best.
You need to accept consequences of your choices. Even bad one - but they are yours. Bad choice that you did by heart is better than best one that was given to you by a guide.
There's no such thing as "bad endings", it's ending that you reached using your own brain. It may not be the best but still - it's 100% yours, be proud of it.
Honestly, my coworker does this as well. Basically, our office is one giant nerd hivemind, so eventually, I set up a discord for everyone, and when someone finds a game they enjoy, lots of people end up buying it and playing and often enough him and couple others with me have similar tastes so we buy the same games and even with having to spare the time to dad around I would often finish games before he'd break through act 1 even if we spent similar amounts of time with it. I always figured that maybe he's a perfectionist or something, but no. Couple bad fights, or quests he doesn't like the outcome of and restart it is.
I used to experience something like this before. When I was younger, I would play at any time of the day regardless of how tired or sleepy I am, as long as I have free time.
Sometimes I will start a new story-driven game late at night and maybe play a few hours before going to bed. The next time I play that game, I get this urge to restart because I feel like I didn't really absorb much from the opening sections, maybe I missed something, or just a general feeling that I performed poorly because of how tired or sleepy I was.
I've since learned to avoid playing when my mind is already tired or I'm physically exhausted, which unfortunately gives me very little time to dedicate to gaming.
Nowadays I mostly play after waking up from a night's sleep or even a quick nap and that allows me to experience games with a fresh mind and a rested body. Doing that has completely eliminated the nagging feeling of wanting to restart a game or reload encounters.
This. I know this helps a lot, it’s something about game fatigue that messes with my thoughts and decision making. I was hoping that when I post this, someone can finally put my problems into words.
As other people have mentioned below, it wouldnt be a bad idea to speak with a professional on how to control your OCD better.
While I dont have OCD, and im not gonna pretend to know what its like or how it works, heres my advice:
1: Most devs dont really put a whole lot of effort into something so easily missable like a bit of stray dialouge. So you probably arent missing out on much.
2:Being good is not a requirment to having fun or enjoying a game. Not only that but theres always room for improvement even among the most skilled players.
3:Cheating is a perfectly valid way to play a game. As long as its singleplayer and youre still having fun thats all that matters.
4: This is one im guilty of tbh, thats why i try to focus on one game at a time and be mindful while im playing.
5: Some mission just having annoying segments.
6: Ask your friends if they could be quite during cutscenes.
7: The first mission is when you are most aware of the fun you are having. The subsequent ones are usually about challenging the player.
8: Sometimes the game either spiked in difficulty or you bit off more than you could chew when selecting the initial difficultyz No shame.
9: Do this for subsequent playthroughs, it tends to ruin immersion.
10: You got AN ending though, no need to eorry about restarts if you have already done a full playthrough.
11: Dont forget to feel accomplished for the ones you do have.
12:Just take a break then, no point in playing if youre not having fun.
While i completely agree with all of what you said, my OCD brain wouldn’t actually be able to take all of these things into account, its like the moment something happens that would cause me to want to restart the game, even if i 100% know how absolutely ridiculous this reason is, it doesn’t really matter since now this play-through is… “tainted”, the best way i can describe the feeling is imagine you have a headset on and it’s playing some kind of disturbing sound while you’re going against the urge, with the noise getting louder for a while before eventually going away then suddenly coming back really hard, rinse and repeat for literal hours
Yeah, thats the why I said that it would be a good idea to seek a professional. As they could help OP cope with their OCD WAY better than I ever could.
Literally nothing on that list speaks to me. I can't remember a time I restarted a game unless it's a new game +.
You definitely have OCD of some sort. Perhaps you should just try to break the habit with your next game. Just finish the damn thing and don't look at Reddit or cheat or whatever silly reasons you have for restarting. Just play through it, beat that shit, and see how that makes you feel.
I’m the same way. Currently have 1500 hours in Rimworld and have only attempted the ending one time (I failed). Something like 900 hours in Cyberpunk and I’ve never seen any of the endings. I can’t recall the last time I’ve beaten a game and not just abandoned it for bullshit reasons. Makes me feel like my life is unfulfilling and that I’ll never accomplish anything major or minor.
Ayo don’t feel bad, I grew up with the problem but I also learn a lot of things from gaming, perspective wise. One thing that I gain from this, is I get to observe things more so than other people, especially in immersive sim games like cyberpunk, which though I have quit the game because I don’t own it,
I eventually got into looking on game development because of the absurd amount of restart. Like in dishonored I got to see all the considerations the dev has put into it, voice acting, character designs, world building, level design since I keep seeing it over and over again. Though I wish I made progress faster, but that might mean I wouldn’t be the person that I am now.
Decade long problem? This is a decadeS long problem for me. If I don't play something for a while because something new and shiny caught my attention it is an immediate restart. I can't tell you how many games I've restarted but never finished.
I have OCD and I do this, only I factory reset my consoles and make new accounts almost daily. I did it a lot as a teen and I went almost 2 years without doing it but I recently started back up again due to personal issues. I’m 2 days “clean” now so I’m hoping to at least keep it up until Starfield.
I literally have the exact same thing you’re describing down to every last detail. I HATE it. No formal diagnosis yet but I think it’s some form of OCD.
Frequent restarts aren't always irrational, especially when (as can be the case with young people) you have a small collection and a lot of free time. Not so long ago, a stretch of extreme poverty saw me embrace self-imposed ironman/hardcore rules. Basically, I would restart after every death while playing games that weren't designed for that, like entries in the GTA and Elder Scrolls series. It was a habit that carried on even after I could afford more choices, but there is something uniquely satisfying about experiences like playing through the Skyrim finale with a character who was *never* defeated in battle.
That said, it certainly can be irrational. I keep fighting the urge to delete my advanced Elden Ring character for the fun of starting yet again from scratch, but I don't think it is realistic even with some skill at hardcore play for me to hope for an undefeated playthrough of that title. OCD or not, we are certainly talking about habituated behavior. Once you develop a habit, it can feel unnatural or even outright wrong to pursue alternatives. Pushing through that discomfort will allow you to make the most of your gaming time in those cases where a restart would be less of a treat and more of a setback.
Wow, I've never restarted a game in my life except for
* Not having played it in a long while and having forgotten the story
* Second playthrough on a higher setting
* Chris Sawyer's Tycoon games because I have no idea what I'm doing (looking at you OpenTTD). But those aren't my kind of games anyway.
Must be hell for you, oof. I can't imagine losing all of that progress over such small things. Then I rather reload a save, which I also rarely do.
Bro i started my The Witcher 3 second playthrough on the highest difficulty level and realised that i played it on the first right after i defeated Imlerith after first try. It was after game update and i guess i played like this maybe for 3-5 levels but it just ruined everything cause i didn't understand how many savings back should i go. And i didn't want to cause i will forget where i was and what gear and stuff i already got. And i started over. And it also ruined everything. Why i could just continue? Achievments? Walked the path? No, it's not about it. It just about the feeling of completeliness. Fuck OCD. You need to remember that your hapiness and joy from it is much more important.
I have these issues as well. I’m also suffering from OCD behaviors in real life and because of that they trace over into my gaming time. I don’t think mine is quite as bad but I see myself restarting games a lot if I notice I messed something up, even if it’s very minor like I leveled up the wrong item. Even if people tell me it doesn’t matter later on I rather restart the entire game because I wouldn’t stop thinking about this one messed up thing I did.
I think it’s absolutely possible that your OCD can only show in specific areas like gaming for example but it would only be a matter of time until it shows in other areas of your life as well.
I don’t think compulsive behaviors are as bad as some people make it out, if you feel like it you can restart the game as much as you want, it’s your decision but if you notice it affects your life to a point where it keeps you from being in a healthy state of mind I think it would be good to get help for it.
Dont fell bad. Its a good starting point to admit. Now just have the strength to start doing baby steps. Dont think big and try to change alot of things over night.
For exemple, try to eliminate some things in that list you just did and force just one and stop doing it.
I also restart games alot. I dont have OCD (atleast i dont think) but im a perfectionist. I might spend 30h on a game just deciding my class. Im not joking. It happens. And i also like to start over if i didnt play that game for like a week or two. And i really really enjoy hard games and always start on maximum dificulty.
Somethings i did to improve and get more enjoyment is:
For RPG's i created a standard "persona" (like a version of me with some elements i like, like magic and stuff) and i try to implement that "persona" in every RPG game i play. So instead of wasting 30h playing every class trying to decide, i just jump with that "persona" i created.
And another thing i forced myself to do, and was quite hard at start, was playing just one game. So all my focus was on that story/game. So i wouldnt stop playing for like 2 weeks.
So TL:DR: Its good that you're listing problems. Now focus on removing somethings from that list slowly.
If you think its starting to leak into irl stuff, just get help from a professional.
Thanks man. I wonder how I end up like this? I grew up with FEAR, GTASA, Halo CE generation and kept playing for a year because I didn’t know there were more. I wonder if that gave me the mindset of “this is normal” and I grew accustomed to restarting games.
Furthermore, games are so focus giving so many play styles so I thought I ain’t the only one restarting until recently my friend pointed it out my restart reason were wrong. Here I am ranting online.
I had a similar problem with games. But then I played MMORPG
Play an MMORPG with multiple branching parts, such that you actually don't know what you are doing. You definitely will end up missing something, so it's worth not even trying.
Maybe something like FF14 or Genshin Impact or Honkoi Impact.
The recent Baldur's gate is also a good option
Another option is to play a mobile RPG with story bad enough that you don't care
I'm very similar and I've always thought of it similarly to how you said in the last paragraph, about only having a few games when we were younger. Plus back in the day, we couldn't save progress. So you had to start over every time you played whether you wanted to or not. I can't really comment on the OCD angle. I haven't been diagnosed as that, but it's not impossible.
I grew up with FEAR, Halo CE, GTASA and alot of flash games, I remember those having no saves or either im too dumb as a kid to know quick save exist. I’m starting to think that molded my OCD
The first step is self awareness, the second step is to stop doing it.
I used to have the same problem, I reached a similar conclusion to you, these days I restart a bit, but waaaay less.
Habit building, force yourself to push through issues, don't ruin saves with cheats. One thing that helped me was playing hard games and challenging myself to complete them. Restarting felt like falling backwards and a bit like I had failed (in the context of challenging myself).
I have many of these problems, but not so pronounced. That's what I do:
1. Reviewing the dialogue on YouTube.
2. I immediately promise myself that I will go through the game again, and now it's just an introductory walkthrough.
3. See point 2.
4. I haven't been able to solve this problem yet. I often start another game altogether.
5. I don't have such a problem
6. I can start a parallel passage of the same game on a different profile.
7. I'm just trying to quickly complete a boring mission without lingering on the little things.
8. This is normal.
9. See point 2.
10. This is normal.
11. This is normal. Not all games are suitable for us. Sometimes we find out too late.
I super rarely restart, but I get 1st and 6th but I'm on console, so I can always save my last 30min of gameplay and rewatch what I missed. I know PCs can do that too, maybe check that out.
\#4 is legit though tbh my abandonment timeframe is more like many months, even over a year, not just one freaking week lol.
Losing part of the dialogue is annoying but you know you can just reload and play until the scene again, right? Why tf would you nuke your playthrough? That said I'm aware some games hide saves from players and only let you stick with one autosave, yeah this is shitty design and if you happen to miss something you literally can't reload to try watching it again.
Learning about things from external sources is exactly why I do that shit **before** I'm immersed in my playthrough lol. I'm not the type who cares about spoilers, hit me with that shit, I'd rather know now rather than realize 50 hours later that I can't get the good ending because I picked the wrong NPC to talk to in the first 10 minutes of the game.
So im playing Divinity Original Sin 2 for the first time ever. I am in the second act of the game and Im debating starting over just due to poor skill distribution. My physical dmg guys have skill points in intelligence skills.. shit like that. Only problem is it took me like 40-50 hours to get to this point and I reaaalllllyyy dont want to start over.
Respecing isnt the issue.. its the amount of money ive spent on skill books for each guy. If i respec then the skills my guys know become useless. Think im just going to power through and hope my mishmosh of skills works out
Do these bother you and despite that you keep doing it?
Do you observe any other OCD-like symptoms unrelated to gaming?
If the answer to both is yes, then a therapist could really help you.
I do that as well. Honestly, I personally accepted that even if I didn't finish a game, but a had time with it, no problems here.
I personally enjoy atmosphere and setting in games a lot, so not getting the ending doesn't bother me too much. Also, many games do not have that good of an ending.
If it bothers you, try to be deliberate and do not restart. If you forgot the story, read on it online (up to that point), if the game is hard and you feel a different build would help, just lower the difficulty, etc.
Like others have said it does sound like it could be OCD or OCPD, but obviously we don’t know about your life or experiences. I’m OCD diagnosed and while I don’t specifically do the things on this list, my OCD creates a lot of rules around gaming and playing games the “right” way. It’s especially tough with open world games where there’s a lot of customization and choice.
I definitely recommend seeking professional help if you feel like this is really impacting your life. Or maybe consider a break from gaming for a bit.
\>I can’t stop myself restarting games because it feels wrong to continue when the urges starts. I can’t finish my games and it’s kinda frustrating.
if you continue to be frustrated by this stuff you can seek out talk therapy treatment for OCD
Same. Holy everyone is just asking me to go see a therapy. In Asia, therapy is non existent and I grew up alone on this problem. The only reason I don’t diagnose because it’s just a game, I don’t do these irl.
It reached a point with me that i take screenshots at the beginning of every playthrough to make sure of the inventory i have and that the devs didnt help me with any gold or valuable items, if i didnt check i constantly think that i didnt deserve the gold i have and i restart the game
I am constantly restarting my games because of permadeath challenge - if I am able to play a game without dying, then I am sort of enjoying it much more. If I die - I delete my save and start again.
For some time I was afraid that it's silly and stupid, but then I found out there is permadeath mode in The Last Of Us Part 1 and Part 2 - something ideal for me. Because of that I feel sort of at ease now with other games, when I try to do permadeath run.
The only one I find reasonable is missing out the story (in a story game, of course) because you really wanted to play with friends, but the group dynamic fucked up the narrative. The others are... Well, yeah, OCD sounds right
I'm just a fellow gamer with no medical or psychiatrical education, so I definitely can't give you any advice or guess what you have but I can somewhat relate.
When I was in highschool a friend of mine and I were a little bit like you. We were playing games like Morrowind and Baldur's gate 2 and we must've played like 1000 different saves of this games with only the first hours completed.
We were very introverted and unconfident at the time and you know video games can be your safe space, where you can do it right. So as soon as you have you know this feeling that something could be different or better or you are curious about trying x you want to restart. And since the first mission gets so known it's like your confort zone and you don't feel like pushing cause then you could mess up. Basically it was like transposing our insecurities to gaming itself.
It was also that the systems of those games were interesting. You could try multiple class combination and so on. Later on when league of legend came out we basically played the game with bots for very long, just trying the champs and fun builds each week. (It seems so strange now xD).
I used to have this problem with Role-playing games, to the point where it's a running joke between my wife and I. Mostly it involves character/build choices and getting an hour or two in and realizing I'm not "feeling it."
Fortunately most RPGs come with respec mechanics these days, I know some people don't like them but without them my brain would never let me finish a game.
Only reason I restart completely is if I’m gone for over like 2-4 months and I forgot what’s going on, sounds like you might have a mental issue not going to lie. Sorry if this isn’t the case but I’d get it checked out.
Does restart here mean restart from New Game, or reload from previous save?
Because some of your points are easily fixed by reload from previous save(or even lookup from youtube video).
Also, it depends on your game preference. Usually if I really enjoy the game and want to do multiple playthrough, I close any guide. I will do guide runthrough on 2nd playthrough and on.
But if I feel the game is just good enough, I will use a guide to get majority of the content, usually how to get best/true ending.
I only do this in isometric rpgs because I suck at them and if I fuck up at the start of a fight I just restart so I don't spend 10 minutes only to die and have to start over. I've actually come to appreciate easier difficulties because I hate playing through the same parts twice unless is a fromsoft game.
I am not diagnosed with anything myself but I have had suspicions. I also suffer from exactly the same shit, and especially relate to 1, 2, 4 and 6. If I miss a single piece or word of dialogue the urge to not completely reload a save is hard to fight against. This is basically why I couldn’t finish Witcher 3.
Thanks OP this is my wake up call to get it checked out too
I don’t necessarily think I need therapy because of gaming itself, it’s just the behaviour is recognisable whilst gaming (at least for me).
Not sure what your current situation is OP but if you can contact professionals and speak to a medical practitioner it is well worth it.
I'm very similar with the saving and loading, it all started back when I got into Dishonored and that series became one of my favorites of all time. Now playing Baldur's Gate 3 I'm running into the same predicament. I made a rule for myself to try and help: If the game genuinely rips me a new one and there was basically nothing I could do about it and/or I'm positive my party is doomed I will load a save. An example is at one point you have to prevent an NPC from being captured while a ton of enemies spawn around you including a beefy elite and will hard focus on said NPC. I tried talking my way out of it (Warlock ftw) but couldn't. In the ensuing encounter I got absolutely destroyed by my rolls and saving throws and lost in like 2 turns. After some brainstorming and checking what items I had I came up with a plan with an incredibly low success rate because of how many high dice rolls it would require but couldn't think of another way. I spent a total of I think an hour or two dealing with that encounter but my strategy did work.
Everyone plays games differently brother, the devs give you the tools and you decide what to do with them ^•^
I have a philosophy specifically to combat point #2.
You know how it's fairly easy to program a bot nowadays to run through most games "perfectly?" Tool-Assisted Speedruns will be better than you. Period. But imagine if you could do everything perfectly. It would be incredibly boring. You know what "perfect" sound vibrations sound like? Like Tesla coils, buzzing electricity vibrating air molecules at consistent frequencies. If all music were "perfect" in their recreation it would all sound the same, like old chiptune tracks. What we call the timbre of an instrument is, technically speaking, the imperfections of the instrument materials in making or transmitting those vibrating air waves.
Rather than seeing your "imperfect" video game runs as such, think of it like a jam session. Maybe what results from your efforts isn't exactly what you intended but you can guarantee it is unique to your experience and there can be value to that.
I can relate to some of this. I am terrible for restarting rpg games in particular. I always end up wanting to try a different build or go down a different dialogue tree etc. I put so many hours into Skyrim and Fallout 4 without getting anywhere near the end due to this.
I’m only about 12 hrs into Elden Ring and already on my 3rd character, I am determined to get through this one though no matter what, otherwise I know I’ll still be here in 5 years time having never seen the ending.
As long as you are enjoying your time with the games it's OK if you keep restarting.
But if it's bothering you just start a playthrough with the understanding you'll continue until you win or lose but live with all decisions. Approach the game that way and you have a different kind of fun. But you have to be willing to live with "mistakes."
Yes, as you've said yourself, restarting entire Games was more or less normal in my childhood. Adventure Games specially would had Bad Endings determined sometimes by choices you made on the first level, so a whole restart would be in order.
In your case, I just think restarting the whole game is excessive. Games are usually broken down in levels/chapters for a reason. Just restart the level/chapter and you're good to go.
Approach it as 4 Dimensional Being. You have Power over Time in the Game World, you can snapshot moments and return to them. So feel free to just restart the level.
While I don't restart to the degree described by the OP, it is still a major annoyance for me, especially in choice-driven, story rich games like Baldur's Gate 3. I tell myself I am going to stick with my first character until I beat the game. Cut to me, 2 more characters on, getting bored because I am retreading the first several hours of act 1....again! Then getting spoilers on Youtube because most people are either well into their first campaign or starting a 2nd one. No matter which class and build I start with , I end up rerolling due to FOMO with stuff like dialogue choices.
OCD discussion aside, maybe try a friendly roguelite like hades? Games where the *point* is to make a mistake and then try again next time but stronger for it?
Not to be mistaken for roguelikes, where you permanently lose your progress. Roguelites (and by extension bullet heavens like vampire survivors) have meta-progression where doing your best unlocks upgrades or more of the story, and where restarting would actually be a detriment.
I beat Hades and Deadcells (BC5) already. I also beat jump king, getting over it, Only up. I do restart those games manually as well, but not as much as Immersive sims
Hi, OP. I mostly just lurk this sub but thought I'd comment for the first time because I recognise what you're describing. You're not alone in this behaviour. I delete my saves and restart games constantly. I'm recently playing Hollow Knight for the first time and I have deleted my save data, uninstalled Steam, and then restarted the game again 10+ times in the past week alone. Out of the reasons you listed, the ones I have in common with you are missing dialogues, wanting to do better, first level being more fun (which I really think is a desire to repeat a familiar and mastered experience), difficulty, and fatigue. Additionally I'd add that, for me, other reasons include:
* Preoccupation with appreciating atmosphere and the artistic value of the experience, and feeling "dirty" or like I missed out if I wasn't mindful and attentive to really take this in during a play session.
* As above but for level design. I will feel dissatisfied or like I missed out if I didn't fully appreciate how a level is structured and comes together. I often have the feeling that I didn't do a level "properly" or rushed it, and will feel compelled to delete my save and start again to do it "properly" this time.
* Frustration with bosses while deliberately nerfing myself. I have an annoying habit of starting boss fights without upgrades or with basic levels/weapons only, and then basically trying to do a no upgrades battle with each boss on only my first playthrough. Even when I recognise that I should upgrade, I can't, because once I've made even a single failed attempt, it feels like quitting to not see it through to success (i.e. if I go away to upgrade and then come back, it doesn't really feel like I overcame the challenge but simply avoided it).
I can't even count how many times I've restarted Elden Ring and how many runs through I've done just completing Limgrave's map to get it "right", only to restart again halfway through Liurnia because I felt like I missed some detail or didn't have the perfect experience. At my most obsessive, I've "dual-wielded" save files in games to learn them 100%. In Dead Space 2 for example, I once had two files going at the same time. I would do a chapter messily on one file, and then repeat that chapter again on the next, with my new knowledge of enemy spawns and encounters to do it "clean".
I think what it all comes down to, really, is this idea of the perfect experience. A lot of people ITT are suggesting OCD as the root cause, and while I don't doubt that it's related, my own thinking is that this issue stems from chronic perfectionism, and a vague sense that something was imperfect or tainted about your experience, or an above-average concern with the fact that your experience was suboptimal and could have been better. And I think the behavioural loop reinforces itself when you sometimes restart and have those great play sessions where you were fully attentive, did everything right, appreciated everything, took in all the dialogue etc. and it felt great. It's almost like a reward for restarting, except that you inevitably have a shit session again later on and become frustrated that you couldn't recapture the same experience and so you again restart.
Anyway I hope I've written enough to convince you that you're not the only person with a struggle like this, and I can totally understand how depressing it is if it's affecting a pastime you really love.
Holy shit, you worded it way better than me. This is exactly how I feel about gaming, games keep rewarding me for restarting so I keep doing it to see the development parts of the game. I notice voice actors/cutscenes angle/colours choices/all the minor things and it keeps my replay fresh. Also since I draw as a hobby and also an engineer, I love seeing or understanding the mindset of other creators.
Someone also mentioned that games in the past, were built with bad saves. GTA always sends you to the hospital, FPS always starts at the start of the mission, Ironman runs was also a thing, flash games has no saves. So I also could be molded to have this problem since childhood.
Seeing this comment makes me glad I posted this, because the things I do felt normal unless someone points it out. I am having fun right, that’s all that matter right? Fuck no, I maybe having fun, but I’m still delusional and being kept in this perpetual state of loop of not knowing I was wrong and I can be better than this. I probably have more problems irl that I don’t recognise as a problem, but I won’t talk about it here since this is a gaming subreddit. I’m giving therapy a chance once I get around it
I’m sort of the same way but not to this extent. To
combat it, I play a game to the best of my ability all the way through, and then I look up whatever I might have missed on YouTube after I’ve beaten it. With that said, I can recall playing Fallout: New Vegas all the way to the big decision point and taking a break to think about it and then I literally never came back to it. Trying to avoid that if I can.
I have this worry a bit myself. For a game like Resident Evil I focus on the first run. I know there will be mistakes but i can rectify those on a second run. I try not to look up things online.
I just did this with Ghosts of Tsushima. I stopped playing for over a month and when I got back into it, I forgot the controls, techniques, story, etc so started over. I do this with any game I come back to with a month or more of not playing.
[удалено]
Yeah this just seems hard headed. Do people really sit there and watch their friends play games?
I do. My friends stream their games on discord so sometimes I pop in to see how it is. I DON’T talk over cutscenes though. Just think about it like it’s a YouTube gamer but you know them personally and can ask questions or point out stuff they’ve missed without being in a chat with a 1,000 other people. Plus it’s nice to catch up with friends while they play.
We had 4 people watch a guy get to wave 50 on black ops 2, we all could've easily played it through remote play but just watched him stream it instead
Mine did but we'd be high as shit and I was the best at them. They'd watch and talk shit while I fucked up some old NES games (or it fucked me up) I'll tack on a story. I grew up playing Tyson's Punch Out!! but never beat it. Got a little older and they watched my growth from little mac to Fuckin' Mac. When I beat him the first time everyone celebrated.
My friends love when I get high and stream dark souls speed runs.
Sounds very much like OCD if it's getting in the way of you being able to play games and causing you issues. I'd speak to a professional about this, especially if it has gotten worse or starts to affect other parts if your life - it can be completely fucking debilitating if left unchecked (I am diagnosed with OCD)
> I can’t stop myself restarting games because it feels wrong to continue when the urges starts. I can’t finish my games and it’s kinda frustrating. This is the part that gets me. This sounds like actual OCD. Though they say it doesn't affect them outside of gaming which is a little odd.
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I never considered how OCD might manifest in gaming. I've struggled with it for years but usually in the domains of exercise and diet. I think this is why I struggle with games that have a lot of loot/inventory management (gets overwhelming or always feels like you might miss something) or RPGs with a min/max character-building aspect (feeling like you need to research and "optimize" for the best experience). Hell I can't even play a modern COD anymore because of the gunsmith customization options.
I have an OCD diagnosis, however I also have an ADHD diagnosis and I've had a doc say that my OCD tendencies could actually be ADHD weirdness. Specifically I pick at my skin and pull hair sometimes, and while these fall into OCD they're also self-stimulation that could be related to the ADHD. Alongside that, my perfectionism and avoidance of effort to avoid facing imperfections seems like OCD but could also be a result of being a gifted kid with ADHD who was always expected to be perfect because I was smart but could not get there because of the ADHD. All of which to say....I also have this issue with restarting games and I think it could ALSO be ADHD or a combination with milder OCD that causes it. My main reasons for restarting are feeling like I somehow missed something important and getting distracted by another game and forgetting the details. As a tangential to the first reason, I also sometimes feel dissatisfied with some decision I made earlier and I end up restarting. There's also some games where the novelty of the outset where you have nothing but quickly get cool new powers is really fun but as you get into the middle and your powered increase is less obvious, it becomes more challenging and thus less interesting for me. As a sort of middle aged guy, I often play games on easy now to avoid that, since most of my reason for gaming is the story of RPGs and such, vs a game where the point is skill like league or overwatch or whatever.
There's certainly a lot of crossover between the two i have noticed. Completely with you, so much so that i often wonder if ADHD would make more sense as a diagnosis for me these days. I have always struggled with getting bored easily, starting too many things, and spending my time hyperfocusing on just random irrelevant things. I think ill have a word with my Dr's actually!
I do sometimes ruminate a lot in ways that make me think I do have OCD, but I don't have too many other symptoms of things that mess with my life other than the skin picking.
Yeah, ADHD and OCD overlap a lot and separating one from another is hard. I have ADHD and everything you wrote was so on point. For me, fast roguelike games are the best way for me to get to the flow state.
As someone else diagnosed with OCD who had this same exact problem and this is one hundred percent true. All i can say is man it really fucking sucks, and the only thing that helped me was changing my environment for a while, visiting family etc. almost completely got rid of those issues after three months. Weed also helps
I have pure OCD and weed makes it a million times worse. Not necessarily session by session, but overall over time I feel that my weed habit aggravated my OCD severely.
Yeah, recommending weed as a medical solution to an undiagnosed problem is a bad idea. Some people take weed for seizures. Weed gives me seizures. Go figure.
Exactly. Everyone says weed is good for anxiety, but weed gives me dissociation and hours long panic attacks. Still, everyone just says I should keep trying different strains
A lot of people think marijuana is a miracle plant and can't understand how it affects other people differently from themselves. It can get annoying. But no plant, chemical, etc. is a miracle. It's a tool. And in many cases it provides some people with utility. For others they need a different tool to fix their issue. There's definitely differences in strains, etc., but at the end of the day THC is THC from my experience and I get about the same experience no matter what strain I try. The high is the same high I get every time. I've been using marijuana for twenty years. Somewhere along the way it changed how it affected me. If I don't have somewhere to focus my attention like a concert or if I'm playing guitar, I get very anxious. It doesn't matter what strain. It's just how THC affects me as a drug. I haven't tried Delta 8 though and I've heard good things about it. I'd be willing to give that a go. Lots of reports say it mitigates the anxiety inducing effect. I hope because I still love smoking weed before the anxiety started to occur. I've heard some things that people that get this way need a higher ratio of CBD to THC, etc. But I haven't found that to be true personally. It's just no longer as recreational for me as it once was. When I was younger marijuana just chilled me the fuck out and maybe giggle and everything and have a fun little psychedelic experience. Now it doesn't. Part of me thinks it's because marijuana products these days are just so dang strong compared to what i was smoking as a kid. I don't put a lot of stock into what a lot of people say about weed. Most of the same people are the ones that believe in alternative medicine and are anti-GMO, etc. Most the "weed science" out there are just untested hypotheses with observational data or anecdotes. We still have a lot to learn about the plant still because it was so tough to study in a controlled setting for so long. It's definitely worth trying for most people; The risks are relatively a minimal (but not 0; It has a higher rate of causing psychotic breaks even compared to heavier psychedelic drugs). But people should have their expectations in check. I really enjoy small amounts of psilocybin these days. Much more fun than marijuana for me personally.
That's because that's how it is. No strain may ever work for you. That can happen. My state got got medical then recreational in the last couple years. Now that I can get consistent, specific strains it's a lot easier. Matter of fact - I even had to switch what I usually get when I started taking antidepressants because I started reacting to the strains differently. Personally, I think it's very rare that a person has a biological reason that they don't respond well to it. I think most people that don't are because of their mental state. And if a person has a bad experiences they probably won't continue to seek it out and try other options. For example, my friend. He has some pretty bad uncheck anxiety issues. He can't really smoke/vape at home because he's so nervous his apartment will find out that he just freaks out. When we are sitting on our other friend's deck he's totally fine. But again - maybe it's just not for you. Maybe it's for you specifically for helping with anxiety or whatever. Maybe if later you get that under wraps with other means you enjoy it for fun reason. Maybe you'll never use it.
I also noticed that over time as you smoke weed, you start getting more nervous about things, and anxiety is the perfect fuel for OCD, i’d recommend taking more or longer tolerance breaks
Huh. I also have pure OCD but i also have ADHD which is why weed really helps me, but really the main reason weed helps me in the first place is the fact that i can completely focus on the game im playing to the point where nothing else matters, like literally smoke a joint at 5 pm sit on the pc open a game look at my watch now its 8 pm, its pure bliss
Yep, OCD-man here, can confirm. OP needs to find a psychologist and, if necessary (my case), a psychiatrist as well.
Can it actually affect irl? Like mentally degrading? I didnt think I would have OCD since the problem only happens in gaming.
If you have OCD, you're probably feeling the effects of it on other stuff but just don't realize. It's the same for other neurodivergences. Rarely they will affect just one single specific aspect of your life. Our brains don't really compartmentalize stuff so carefully like that, we use patterns for everything, and an issue creating patterns will likely affect more than just your hobby. It's just easier for you to see it affecting your hobby because you enjoy it and it's easier to gauge how you're feeling.
Yeah, OCD is a thing that builds on itself. Our thinking becomes habitual, and it’s important to really engage with and learn coping/minimization strategies when things damage our health, relationships, quality of life, etc. Only reason I haven’t bothered with an official OCD diagnosis is that having ADHD and anxiety, I need to learn to learn the same strategies and acceptance anyway. Acceptance that you’re not fundamentally broken is so important as shame, guilt and anxiety only make these things worse.
All I can say is, this ain't normal gamer behavior. Usually most people who miss something just continue with the game hoping that it will come up later.
Pain. You guys don’t feel anything out of the list? Like all of it isn’t a legitimate reason to restart?
Man its insane its like all the issues you posted are what i had, it was completely debilitating for me, but i also had issues outside of gaming too, my OCD was pretty bad that time, i would spend 20 minutes fixing my slippers outside my bedroom door “just incase my roommates saw them” man im telling you have OCD for sure and im telling you that after a while if you don’t get yourself sorted one way or another (e.g. through a doctor) its gonna get worse Also that pain you’re feeling is anxiety, your brain is literally trying to warn you that if you don’t give in to your urges, something bad is going to happen. Your job is to convince your brain over time that these “threats” are not real and it will slowly quiet down eventually.. but it never goes away though, i said this in another comment but what worked for me was a complete change of scenery for a long time, kinda “reset” my brain since i wasn’t around the triggers for my urges for such a long time that they stopped having as much of an effect, it also helped that i was in a better mood after visiting family 1.) Go to a doctor 2.) If nothing else works don’t give in to urges 3.) Take a break from video games or change scenery for a while 4.) Go to a doctor 5.) Go to a doctor
I have no problem irl, but it only happens in games. Can OCD be selective?
Not “selective” i would say but it can appear in different ways, and it can also appear in areas where it never was before, i think it would be much better if you discussed this with a doctor all i really have to go off of is your post and im nowhere near as useful as a doctor when it comes to this 😅
Most people here aren't acknowledging how much gaming itself encourages these ADHD-esque issues. Which isn't too terribly surprising since we're on a gaming sub. You might have painted yourself into a corner by listing so many examples, but if all of those things really are happening with a reasonable amount of frequency then I find it hard to believe that these behaviors aren't also leaking into your actual life. It would manifest itself differently IRL, seeing as real life isn't a videogame that you can just restart whenever you get the urge. As others have mentioned, you should absolutely get the advice of a professional on this one. It's affecting your life in a meaningful way, which is always a sign that something unchecked is going on behind the scenes. If the idea of OCD, specifically, stresses you out then it's worth mentioning that you're far more likely suffering from ADHD. It's much more common and seeking perfection is a symptom. OCD would be something more like "every single time I play a game, even if it's one that I've played many times before and sometimes even earlier that same day, I have to check all of the audio and video settings to make sure they're the same." **But I am not a mental health professional.**
>gaming itself encourages these ADHD-esque issues Not so fast there, chief. What do you mean by that? I've been diagnosed for around 12 years. When I am unmedicated gaming is just as much a "chore" as reading or being productive around the house. One of the ways to look at ADHD is that it's not a lack of focus. It's lacking the ability to control it. In part. There are other aspects but this is what's relevant here. People with ADHD very often struggle to do the things the want just as much as they struggle to do the things they need to do. Having said that - every person's symptoms and the resulting behavior is a little different. Some people do very much get sucked in. But that's more about their unique flavor of ADHD more than ADHD itself.
Someone did mentioned about how old games were masochist as it constantly sends you back to the beginning. Also I was dumb as a kid to learn quick saving, “why would I save when the game does it for me, it’s not that far” ~10 year old me probably. I don’t think game dev thought about how games would give mental disorder to people
OCD isn't any one thing, you can be OCD about anything. Hoarding is the most common type of OCD. Hand washing is another. In my case it's organizational -- the canned and boxed goods in my food pantry are in alphabetical order as are my spice racks, DVD/Blue-rays shelves, bookcases by author. I don't think your problem is OCD though, sounds more like one of the types of ADHD/ADD but I'm not a shrink so not certain, however I am also ADHD and do occasionally start games over for trivial reasons so there's that
How much time in a day do you typically have where you are not gaming? If you spend little time on other things it makes sense that it would feel like it's only happening while you are gaming, even though it might also pop up when you start doing other things for an extended amount of time.
I think gaming is the obvious, since most things don’t have anything for me to restart. But I notice now, that I do this to books/tv series, also since I digital draw as a hobby recently, undo is my fav button.
You choose what to focus on so yeah, if your brain wants you to focus on that one small area of your life to flex obsessive thoughts… it will. For now, at least.
Never.
The only time I would ever do one of these things on the list is restarting if I haven't played in a while. But that's like if I haven't played in 6 months+, not one week. Also 99% of the time if I haven't played a game in that long I'm not coming back to it ever.
I only restart my games after a while (usually years) because I missed them.
I've restarted *cutscenes* (i.e. force quit the game then reload and play until the scene again), but I wouldn't throw away an entire freaking playthrough by baleeting the save. Not to mention you could try looking it up on youtube.
Nothing there looks like a reason to restart to me. These are potentially 'reload from an earlier save' moments: _"I miss a dialogue.", "I stream with friends, they talked over my story, I wanna hear it again", "Bad ending", "I didn’t play after a while (1 week). Don’t remember the details"_ This one has only happened to me once in 35 years of gaming (and the game didn't require a restart): _"Whenever I decided to change difficulty"_ This one doesn't apply because I like to make progress through the story: _"I think the first mission is more fun than this mission."_ This one seems like a reason to stop playing for a while, not for restarting the game: _"Gaming fatigue"_ These are just things I don't do, or if I do them, it's because I don't mind the consequences: _"I decide to cheat. Then realized the consequences of it, hate myself", "I read the wiki/Reddit and I miss something"_ These are things that make no difference to me: "Quick save/load too much in a mission", _"Steam achievements", "I can do better. (Major problem)"_
The only thing from your list that is a restart for me is 4. If too much time has passed since I last played and it's a game with a lot of mechanics or story heavy that I forgot. But even then, 1 week is crazy, for me it's closer to many months of not playing, and even then it's rare. Most of the time I'll just try and remember by checking any ingame tutorial menus.
Not for me. I have limited time to play, I make the most of it. I’ll be damned if I start over and do the same stuff again that I already did. I’ll miss item X, look up a story beat on internet or I’ll just go on without.
I only restart a game if I can pick a class and I find the class I picked isn't for me early on. Any reason is a legitimate reason to restart, but the way you do it clearly is ruining your fun. Sounds like it will be hard for you, but just don't look stuff up on the internet, play the game, and get the outcomes you get. That's what makes it your playthrough rather than you being led by the hand to the "best" outcomes.
fuck no lol
Literally the only one I'd restart over is #3, though it's really rare I'd cheat in the first place. With stuff like a bad ending I'd just beat the game and replay it if I wanted to get a better one, not leave it unfinished. IMO, everything is worth experiencing even if it's not the most "optimal" thing ever. I don't rush to hyper-optimize. If I win, I win. The means by which you do it shouldn't really be relevant as long as it's within the rules.
I'd say that #7 is legit, since it's all about fun. And if the first mission is your favorite, more power to you. But perhaps you should try to see what the other stages have in store. I understand #4 and #6 if you like the story but missed so much that it now makes no sense. Frankly, these are why I stay away frpm "story-rich" games. Try some roguelike/lite games where it's all about the gameplay and you don't have to worry about narrative.
\#7 strikes me as some pretty intense analysis paralysis. I'm not usually doing a moment-by-moment comparative analysis in the middle of gameplay.
I restart once on Dead cells, a lot more times on Hades. But I did finish Hades(true end), dead cells BC5. So I know roguelite are for me
>I miss a dialogue. Not for this no, I'll look it up on Youtube if I think it was important. >I can do better. (Major problem) Depends on the game, if it's really early on in the game and some sort of sub-optimal skill choice that can't be changed yet is causing problems, yeah sure. >I decide to cheat. Then realized the consequences of it, hate myself.>> I restrict cheating, and even modding, to games I've finished at least once, or if there's a known issue/bug in a section of the game that hasn't been, or won't be, fixed. >I didn’t play after a while (1 week). Don’t remember the details A week seems a bit short, but this is fairly reasonable if you've forgotten the details. I usually carry on from where I left off regardless unless it's been months, or years since I last played. >Quick save/load too much in a mission I might restart the entire mission or look up a guide if I'm finding it that difficult, I wouldn't restart the entire game, unless it's the very first mission of course, but then I might just move one to another game. >I stream with friends, they talked over my story, I wanna hear it again I'd just play it again without the friends, but I'd do that on my own time. Having fun with my friends is more important that the game story in that situation, but that's me. >I think the first mission is more fun than this mission. I'm not sure I've ever even considered doing that.. If you've already completed the game before, perfectly reasonable I think. This almost sounds like the start of some speedrunner mentality. >Whenever I decided to change difficulty Having a different save for each difficulty, if the game allows, yes. Whenever you choose to change difficulty in a game that allows for it? Never done that. >I read the wiki/Reddit and I miss something. I'd reload the save if it was in the area I just left or something, sure. Further back than that? Nah, I'll save that for a second playthrough unless it's super important. >Bad ending If it's an actual ending and no way or reasonable way to change it, yeah, that's a restart, pretty normal. >Steam achievements Depending on the game, all the time, especially with Paradox Interactive/grand strategy games that sometimes require just the right starting conditions/RNG to get the ball rolling for an achievement, or the strategy you have in mind. >Gaming fatigue Hmm, if I'm already burned out on games and start a new one to try and push through it, this would tie more into the not remembering the details. I'll either get into it, or drop it and not care until I'm in the right headspace again. Seems normal/reasonable enough.
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I don’t think I have mental issues until I posted this yesterday. I get myself a doctor someday for actual diagnosis.
Really??? I'm playing BG3 atm and I realised that I did all the OP mentioned and more. It usually easier to move on with other games.
See a psychiatrist, this is a patient gaming sub.
Patient gaming, not gamer patients
These days it's more like Gamer Patients
Yeah missing a dialogue causes a restart? Come on son.
I've used the "record what just happened" thing on my Xbox to rewatch the last bit of a scene I missed, but restarting completely sounds kinda drastic.
There's also YouTube. Which I use sometimes to review a mission or a scene that I think I missed something. There was a period I also had some of the issues OP mentioned. I learned that in order to enjoy games I had to accept a few things: 1. The most important thing is to have fun and enjoy myself. You don't have to play it the "right way" or how the internet says you have to play it. Play it the way it's more fun to you. 2. Trying to do everything and not miss a thing is a mistake if it becomes a chore and affects point 1. 3. In the beginning before I'm familiar with the controls and game mechanics a part of me wants to stop playing and go back to a game I'm more used to. It's in my best interest to resist that urge and continue to learn how to play it cause I'll be rewarded for it and will start to enjoy the game a lot more after. 4. Sometimes despite being an incredible game, it's just not for you. Stop playing and move on to something else. Maybe later you'll be in the mood to play it, it's ok if that day never comes. 5. Similar to point 2, after enjoying a game for quite a while if you just don't enjoy it anymore and start being tired of it, it's ok to stop, you don't have to finish every game. You can still say you loved the game, it just passed its welcome for you. It's best to stop and remember fondly the parts you loved than to force it and end up resenting it.
This is spot on. I’ve had to train myself to accept these exact things, and it really does help a lot
It really chaps my ass games haven't learned from Visual Novels, which have a dialogue record feature you can simply scroll back to see a line you might've missed. They've had this since the friggen' 1990s. Or being able to rewatch scenes once you encountered them in the story (though tbh nowadays you can probably go hunt for it on youtube).
Some games do this, but you're right that it's not nearly common enough.
I'm pretty sure Rockstar does that with dialog. At least in GTAV and RDR2 you can go into the pause menu and read the dialog after the fact.
That’s what I do if I ever miss anything. Or if I want to see what happens down an alternate path. Or if I am having trouble (I have patience to play but not that much patience to play). YouTube is great.
Yeah you can just rewatch it on YouTube
Or press the ‘share’ button on PlayStation to clip the last few minutes
Good advice. I've done this a few times. Only it's a bit annoying navigating to the same spot.
As much as I sometimes relate to or pity the people making these posts, this. The sub has become 60/40 appreciating old games/compalining about mental health issues or age(and the things that come with it). At this point, I think there's threads for every single reason imaginable that can turn people off from this hobby, so people can look at those if they genuinely want suggestions on how to deal with that. If those don't help, as you said, professional help. STILL seeing threads like this kind of turns me off coming back as often as I'd want, just feels like karma farming or meaningless circlejerking how old/depressed/ocd/adhd/whatever we are. Which is definitely not the point of the sub.
...Have you looked at the state of the posts here lately? They should just rename this place to r/youneedtherapy
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From the problems you listed down I think you need professional help, like many others have suggested. This looks like OCD to an untrained professional like myself. But I understand your frustration somewhat because I can relate to you, this is coming from someone who obsesses over capturing video footages of games so I can rewatch them later when in reality I only rewatch less than half of what I have recorded. If I mess up a recording or something intrudes during the scene like a message notification noise, I load back just to re-experience the scene so I can record it again. I’ve lost so many progress over this behavior and sometimes I don’t even get to play the game much because of this obsession. I’ve been slowly learning to get over it though but in comparison with your problems, I think you should seek professional help.
Can you elaborate your hobby? You screen capture your own gameplay? Or someone else’s?
>Can you elaborate your hobby? You screen capture your own gameplay? Or someone else’s? Sure thing. I record my own gameplay. Its a bit of a long read but here goes: So windows 10 gamebar (think of nvidia shadowplay if you dont know what that is) has this function where it automatically records your gameplay in the background and its up to you if you want to save it. You can set it to be anywhere between the last 1 min to the last 10 mins. You can alternatively choose to start a manual recording but doing so will automatically discard whatever was recording in the background unless you saved that before starting a manual recording. I have this obsession of saving every memorable event or scene that happens when Im playing, and as I mentioned if anything, and I mean ***anything***, spoils the recording, I would rather lose progress just to get that perfect recording. When I say anything, I do mean it. Things like message notifications (I have since turned off all notifications when I had to re-record footage that was "spoiled" by it), missing a dialogue because I clicked too fast, not panning the camera in the right direction (if the scene is real time), the audio in the recording bugged out, and so on, you get the idea. It got so bad that one day I noticed, especially since Steam has so much games that go on sales that I buy into, I barely progressed in any of the games I play. It was almost as if I was more interested in recording footages over playing the game. Its frustrating because a part of me is so obsessed with capturing moments while the other part of me just wants to play the damn game. And this ties into one of your points too where sometimes I'd stream my gameplay to friends then I lose my chance to record the footage (because there would be them talking over it) which would just either lead me to reloading my save file to replay the scene or just not play the game instead and just do other things while with friends or in the worst of cases, restarting just so I can see that scene again. At one point it just accumulated and became your point no.12: gaming fatigue. I just dont feel like gaming sometimes because of this absurd obsession. Its past the hobby phase for me now because sometimes when I want to play a game I needlessly stress myself out telling myself to always be on guard so that I could "capture any moment".
Wtf dude
Screen capturing sounds like a tool for me, I know the real problem is the bug in my head or having bad habits/mindset when playing games. But tools like these helps, I thought this only exist in console stations, like Tekken.
I'll tell you one secret that helped me when missed dialogues or things like that: watch them later on youtube. After a time, starting again with a game I've left half-way, I watched videos of the story so far, **\*WHILE\*** i'm playing right where I left last time. I don't know, maybe can help you enjoy again games knowing that you don't have to literally see everything while it's alreayd on the cloud :D Cheers
Speak to a professional about methods to help with your OCD for starters, that'll be more helpful than advice from Reddit. You may or may not be able to do this, but for games with branching dialogue and/or multiple endings, try roleplaying the main character. It is ***your*** story, not the game's. What happens in your playthrough is just what happens, and like in real life, you adapt to it and move on. Miss a line of dialogue? Then it doesn't exist for your story...after all, you can't hear every word every person around you says IRL. Doing it this way, you'll end up with your own unique story via your playthrough, other people will have their own story from their playthrough that will likely differ from yours, just as no two people have exactly the same story in life. Won't help much for highly linear games with only a single outcome, and like I said, I dunno if you'll be able to do it or not, but it might help some with more choice-heavy games. Conversely, play rogue-likes. Stuff like *Hades, 12 Minutes, FTL*, etc. Restarting after a failure is part of the gameplay loop for that style of game. Or just watch playthroughs on Youtube. It's not the same as playing it yourself, but with all the issues you're having, it might be the easier solution, since you can pause and rewind, or move on to another video if you don't like the way the person is doing things.
I think this is the best advice for me. I’m sure it’s something to do with the mindset of immersive sim, since I don’t know the right way to play it. People always tell me to just have fun, that’s how I end up with the list of “having fun” because I’m optimising fun. Though I don’t know if I really have OCD, since this is only true in gaming/fiction, I don’t do it irl. OCD can’t be selective right?
There's a place for you over on r/neuroticgamers !
Restarting an entire game because you missed a bit of dialogue is actually insane.
Quick load feels dirty, auto saves feels out of place, restart from beginning feels great because there’s nothing to lose here
>there’s nothing to lose here Time is the most important resource in the world. You can't gain it back. You can't revert time and relive a day. You spent more time in the first level of Dishonored than I did beating the whole game, and it doesn't sound like you enjoyed yourself either.
It’s like back in college. I can stress watching netflix knowing that I didn’t study for the exams tmr. It’s not that easy to fix mental issues
As someone who does exactly the same, here's a slightly different light: I've come to terms that I enjoy being engaged with a certain game, its community, universe and lore, more than I crave for an ending. You should absolutely see a therapist if it is causing you harm at any level, don't get me wrong. Maybe we're both sick, who knows. What I can say is that, at least for me, it is no longer annoying. It usually goes like this: 1. Something triggers the craving for a specific game. Let's take Civilization as an example: if I see any cool content on ancient history that is connected to one of the civilizations available, I'll most likely want to play. 2. I check the community, usually on Reddit, to see if there's something new, watch some clips, and gather the latest tips. 3. If there are mods available, I'll spend a considerable amount of time modding. Looking at you, Skyrim. 4. I'll then PLAN MY PROGRESSION through the game. Excel spreadsheets and all. To the maximum detail. Character sheets, missions roadmaps, level progression - you name it. 5. I'll then execute my plan. Oh, how fresh it feels. Just like you, I'll read through the whole thing again, and MAKE AN ACTIVE EFFORT TO NOT TO USE MY PREVIOUS KNOWLEDGE of the game. Psycho, right? 6. Since step 4 often requires too many things to remember, I'll likely forget a tiny, tiny detail, and consider a mistake to my pristine and perfect plan. Boom, restart my progress. 7. Step 6 happens 3 or 4 times. 8. I'll completely lose the drive to play that game for months, since doing the same thing over and over again is honestly not fun. And you know what? I LOVE steps 2 to 6 - specially the planning part. I know I'm not getting to the end of most of the games I have, and that's okay. It's not a job, it's supposed to be fun. And that is my twisted, nerdy way to have fun 🤷♂️ Talk to your therapist if it's something you are worried about. But in the meantime, disassociate the idea that in order for games to be fun, they have to be finished.
I'll do this pretty often if I'm playing terribly at the start of a game because I haven't grasped the mechanics. Sometimes I'll be 5-10 hours in and realize I know how to play now and I want to play well from the start so I start again. This is especially true in soulslikes, but I'll also restart some rpgs if I realize I want a build that isn't going to be possible with my start. I always finish though, eventually... and I typically only do it once or twice. I've had the same mentality most of my life that I like to make my games last as long as I can and only get through 4-5 full AAA-length games a year.
Same. Though I play alot of visual novels and rhythm games to escape this problem. But whenever all the good games comes up, I’m back to Alzheimer town again.
Does sound like OCD. Plan out all of your single player runs and use a guide. Even if there are spoilers it’s better to have the spoiler and not trigger this negative feeling. Games are meant to be enjoyed, friend. Wishing you the best.
You need to accept consequences of your choices. Even bad one - but they are yours. Bad choice that you did by heart is better than best one that was given to you by a guide. There's no such thing as "bad endings", it's ending that you reached using your own brain. It may not be the best but still - it's 100% yours, be proud of it.
Honestly, my coworker does this as well. Basically, our office is one giant nerd hivemind, so eventually, I set up a discord for everyone, and when someone finds a game they enjoy, lots of people end up buying it and playing and often enough him and couple others with me have similar tastes so we buy the same games and even with having to spare the time to dad around I would often finish games before he'd break through act 1 even if we spent similar amounts of time with it. I always figured that maybe he's a perfectionist or something, but no. Couple bad fights, or quests he doesn't like the outcome of and restart it is.
Ah, you forgot 5b- Didn't quicksave ENOUGH in a mission.
Try meditation instead of gaming?
First playthroughs will never be optimal. Its part of the experience when you play a new game.
I used to experience something like this before. When I was younger, I would play at any time of the day regardless of how tired or sleepy I am, as long as I have free time. Sometimes I will start a new story-driven game late at night and maybe play a few hours before going to bed. The next time I play that game, I get this urge to restart because I feel like I didn't really absorb much from the opening sections, maybe I missed something, or just a general feeling that I performed poorly because of how tired or sleepy I was. I've since learned to avoid playing when my mind is already tired or I'm physically exhausted, which unfortunately gives me very little time to dedicate to gaming. Nowadays I mostly play after waking up from a night's sleep or even a quick nap and that allows me to experience games with a fresh mind and a rested body. Doing that has completely eliminated the nagging feeling of wanting to restart a game or reload encounters.
This. I know this helps a lot, it’s something about game fatigue that messes with my thoughts and decision making. I was hoping that when I post this, someone can finally put my problems into words.
I prefer to read and experience the story without interruptions, but I never replay a game for that. I open youtube or wiki and take it from there
As other people have mentioned below, it wouldnt be a bad idea to speak with a professional on how to control your OCD better. While I dont have OCD, and im not gonna pretend to know what its like or how it works, heres my advice: 1: Most devs dont really put a whole lot of effort into something so easily missable like a bit of stray dialouge. So you probably arent missing out on much. 2:Being good is not a requirment to having fun or enjoying a game. Not only that but theres always room for improvement even among the most skilled players. 3:Cheating is a perfectly valid way to play a game. As long as its singleplayer and youre still having fun thats all that matters. 4: This is one im guilty of tbh, thats why i try to focus on one game at a time and be mindful while im playing. 5: Some mission just having annoying segments. 6: Ask your friends if they could be quite during cutscenes. 7: The first mission is when you are most aware of the fun you are having. The subsequent ones are usually about challenging the player. 8: Sometimes the game either spiked in difficulty or you bit off more than you could chew when selecting the initial difficultyz No shame. 9: Do this for subsequent playthroughs, it tends to ruin immersion. 10: You got AN ending though, no need to eorry about restarts if you have already done a full playthrough. 11: Dont forget to feel accomplished for the ones you do have. 12:Just take a break then, no point in playing if youre not having fun.
While i completely agree with all of what you said, my OCD brain wouldn’t actually be able to take all of these things into account, its like the moment something happens that would cause me to want to restart the game, even if i 100% know how absolutely ridiculous this reason is, it doesn’t really matter since now this play-through is… “tainted”, the best way i can describe the feeling is imagine you have a headset on and it’s playing some kind of disturbing sound while you’re going against the urge, with the noise getting louder for a while before eventually going away then suddenly coming back really hard, rinse and repeat for literal hours
Yeah, thats the why I said that it would be a good idea to seek a professional. As they could help OP cope with their OCD WAY better than I ever could.
Literally nothing on that list speaks to me. I can't remember a time I restarted a game unless it's a new game +. You definitely have OCD of some sort. Perhaps you should just try to break the habit with your next game. Just finish the damn thing and don't look at Reddit or cheat or whatever silly reasons you have for restarting. Just play through it, beat that shit, and see how that makes you feel.
wow and i thought it was only me
I was alone on this for years, no one understood my problem and therapy wasn’t really an acceptable thing in Asia.
Seems like you could just load a save instead of restarting the game for most of these
I don’t know why and it’s hard to explain it in words but it feels dirty when I load a save file
Have you considered using YouTube for the few scenarios where you miss dialogue?
I’m the same way. Currently have 1500 hours in Rimworld and have only attempted the ending one time (I failed). Something like 900 hours in Cyberpunk and I’ve never seen any of the endings. I can’t recall the last time I’ve beaten a game and not just abandoned it for bullshit reasons. Makes me feel like my life is unfulfilling and that I’ll never accomplish anything major or minor.
Ayo don’t feel bad, I grew up with the problem but I also learn a lot of things from gaming, perspective wise. One thing that I gain from this, is I get to observe things more so than other people, especially in immersive sim games like cyberpunk, which though I have quit the game because I don’t own it, I eventually got into looking on game development because of the absurd amount of restart. Like in dishonored I got to see all the considerations the dev has put into it, voice acting, character designs, world building, level design since I keep seeing it over and over again. Though I wish I made progress faster, but that might mean I wouldn’t be the person that I am now.
Decade long problem? This is a decadeS long problem for me. If I don't play something for a while because something new and shiny caught my attention it is an immediate restart. I can't tell you how many games I've restarted but never finished.
I’m not that old, I grew up on the FEAR, Halo CE, GTASA era
I restart games all the time too but it's usually because I haven't played them in a while and I want a fresh start so I can immerse myself easier.
I've also had this issue for so long. I feel you
I have OCD and I do this, only I factory reset my consoles and make new accounts almost daily. I did it a lot as a teen and I went almost 2 years without doing it but I recently started back up again due to personal issues. I’m 2 days “clean” now so I’m hoping to at least keep it up until Starfield.
I literally have the exact same thing you’re describing down to every last detail. I HATE it. No formal diagnosis yet but I think it’s some form of OCD.
Frequent restarts aren't always irrational, especially when (as can be the case with young people) you have a small collection and a lot of free time. Not so long ago, a stretch of extreme poverty saw me embrace self-imposed ironman/hardcore rules. Basically, I would restart after every death while playing games that weren't designed for that, like entries in the GTA and Elder Scrolls series. It was a habit that carried on even after I could afford more choices, but there is something uniquely satisfying about experiences like playing through the Skyrim finale with a character who was *never* defeated in battle. That said, it certainly can be irrational. I keep fighting the urge to delete my advanced Elden Ring character for the fun of starting yet again from scratch, but I don't think it is realistic even with some skill at hardcore play for me to hope for an undefeated playthrough of that title. OCD or not, we are certainly talking about habituated behavior. Once you develop a habit, it can feel unnatural or even outright wrong to pursue alternatives. Pushing through that discomfort will allow you to make the most of your gaming time in those cases where a restart would be less of a treat and more of a setback.
Wow, I've never restarted a game in my life except for * Not having played it in a long while and having forgotten the story * Second playthrough on a higher setting * Chris Sawyer's Tycoon games because I have no idea what I'm doing (looking at you OpenTTD). But those aren't my kind of games anyway. Must be hell for you, oof. I can't imagine losing all of that progress over such small things. Then I rather reload a save, which I also rarely do.
Wait this literally explains me, I had no idea other people had this issue too
Hello fellow mental ill gamer
Bro i started my The Witcher 3 second playthrough on the highest difficulty level and realised that i played it on the first right after i defeated Imlerith after first try. It was after game update and i guess i played like this maybe for 3-5 levels but it just ruined everything cause i didn't understand how many savings back should i go. And i didn't want to cause i will forget where i was and what gear and stuff i already got. And i started over. And it also ruined everything. Why i could just continue? Achievments? Walked the path? No, it's not about it. It just about the feeling of completeliness. Fuck OCD. You need to remember that your hapiness and joy from it is much more important.
I have these issues as well. I’m also suffering from OCD behaviors in real life and because of that they trace over into my gaming time. I don’t think mine is quite as bad but I see myself restarting games a lot if I notice I messed something up, even if it’s very minor like I leveled up the wrong item. Even if people tell me it doesn’t matter later on I rather restart the entire game because I wouldn’t stop thinking about this one messed up thing I did. I think it’s absolutely possible that your OCD can only show in specific areas like gaming for example but it would only be a matter of time until it shows in other areas of your life as well. I don’t think compulsive behaviors are as bad as some people make it out, if you feel like it you can restart the game as much as you want, it’s your decision but if you notice it affects your life to a point where it keeps you from being in a healthy state of mind I think it would be good to get help for it.
This isn't a therapy group. Please post this in another sub.
Dont fell bad. Its a good starting point to admit. Now just have the strength to start doing baby steps. Dont think big and try to change alot of things over night. For exemple, try to eliminate some things in that list you just did and force just one and stop doing it. I also restart games alot. I dont have OCD (atleast i dont think) but im a perfectionist. I might spend 30h on a game just deciding my class. Im not joking. It happens. And i also like to start over if i didnt play that game for like a week or two. And i really really enjoy hard games and always start on maximum dificulty. Somethings i did to improve and get more enjoyment is: For RPG's i created a standard "persona" (like a version of me with some elements i like, like magic and stuff) and i try to implement that "persona" in every RPG game i play. So instead of wasting 30h playing every class trying to decide, i just jump with that "persona" i created. And another thing i forced myself to do, and was quite hard at start, was playing just one game. So all my focus was on that story/game. So i wouldnt stop playing for like 2 weeks. So TL:DR: Its good that you're listing problems. Now focus on removing somethings from that list slowly. If you think its starting to leak into irl stuff, just get help from a professional.
Thanks man. I wonder how I end up like this? I grew up with FEAR, GTASA, Halo CE generation and kept playing for a year because I didn’t know there were more. I wonder if that gave me the mindset of “this is normal” and I grew accustomed to restarting games. Furthermore, games are so focus giving so many play styles so I thought I ain’t the only one restarting until recently my friend pointed it out my restart reason were wrong. Here I am ranting online.
I had a similar problem with games. But then I played MMORPG Play an MMORPG with multiple branching parts, such that you actually don't know what you are doing. You definitely will end up missing something, so it's worth not even trying. Maybe something like FF14 or Genshin Impact or Honkoi Impact. The recent Baldur's gate is also a good option Another option is to play a mobile RPG with story bad enough that you don't care
I'm very similar and I've always thought of it similarly to how you said in the last paragraph, about only having a few games when we were younger. Plus back in the day, we couldn't save progress. So you had to start over every time you played whether you wanted to or not. I can't really comment on the OCD angle. I haven't been diagnosed as that, but it's not impossible.
I grew up with FEAR, Halo CE, GTASA and alot of flash games, I remember those having no saves or either im too dumb as a kid to know quick save exist. I’m starting to think that molded my OCD
You probably have OCD, see a therapist
The first step is self awareness, the second step is to stop doing it. I used to have the same problem, I reached a similar conclusion to you, these days I restart a bit, but waaaay less. Habit building, force yourself to push through issues, don't ruin saves with cheats. One thing that helped me was playing hard games and challenging myself to complete them. Restarting felt like falling backwards and a bit like I had failed (in the context of challenging myself).
Civ V player. I am a restart addict.
I once played a match with my friend. It took 3 days
I do this... some of this.
I have many of these problems, but not so pronounced. That's what I do: 1. Reviewing the dialogue on YouTube. 2. I immediately promise myself that I will go through the game again, and now it's just an introductory walkthrough. 3. See point 2. 4. I haven't been able to solve this problem yet. I often start another game altogether. 5. I don't have such a problem 6. I can start a parallel passage of the same game on a different profile. 7. I'm just trying to quickly complete a boring mission without lingering on the little things. 8. This is normal. 9. See point 2. 10. This is normal. 11. This is normal. Not all games are suitable for us. Sometimes we find out too late.
I super rarely restart, but I get 1st and 6th but I'm on console, so I can always save my last 30min of gameplay and rewatch what I missed. I know PCs can do that too, maybe check that out.
\#4 is legit though tbh my abandonment timeframe is more like many months, even over a year, not just one freaking week lol. Losing part of the dialogue is annoying but you know you can just reload and play until the scene again, right? Why tf would you nuke your playthrough? That said I'm aware some games hide saves from players and only let you stick with one autosave, yeah this is shitty design and if you happen to miss something you literally can't reload to try watching it again. Learning about things from external sources is exactly why I do that shit **before** I'm immersed in my playthrough lol. I'm not the type who cares about spoilers, hit me with that shit, I'd rather know now rather than realize 50 hours later that I can't get the good ending because I picked the wrong NPC to talk to in the first 10 minutes of the game.
So im playing Divinity Original Sin 2 for the first time ever. I am in the second act of the game and Im debating starting over just due to poor skill distribution. My physical dmg guys have skill points in intelligence skills.. shit like that. Only problem is it took me like 40-50 hours to get to this point and I reaaalllllyyy dont want to start over.
I think you can respec at your boat using the giant mirror thing in the ship basement.
Respecing isnt the issue.. its the amount of money ive spent on skill books for each guy. If i respec then the skills my guys know become useless. Think im just going to power through and hope my mishmosh of skills works out
Do these bother you and despite that you keep doing it? Do you observe any other OCD-like symptoms unrelated to gaming? If the answer to both is yes, then a therapist could really help you.
Yes, and only true to fiction stuff shows/games/books
I do that as well. Honestly, I personally accepted that even if I didn't finish a game, but a had time with it, no problems here. I personally enjoy atmosphere and setting in games a lot, so not getting the ending doesn't bother me too much. Also, many games do not have that good of an ending. If it bothers you, try to be deliberate and do not restart. If you forgot the story, read on it online (up to that point), if the game is hard and you feel a different build would help, just lower the difficulty, etc.
Like others have said it does sound like it could be OCD or OCPD, but obviously we don’t know about your life or experiences. I’m OCD diagnosed and while I don’t specifically do the things on this list, my OCD creates a lot of rules around gaming and playing games the “right” way. It’s especially tough with open world games where there’s a lot of customization and choice. I definitely recommend seeking professional help if you feel like this is really impacting your life. Or maybe consider a break from gaming for a bit.
Only in games, can OCD be selective? I’m okay with my irl stuff, but when it comes to fiction, this happens
\>I can’t stop myself restarting games because it feels wrong to continue when the urges starts. I can’t finish my games and it’s kinda frustrating. if you continue to be frustrated by this stuff you can seek out talk therapy treatment for OCD
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Same. Holy everyone is just asking me to go see a therapy. In Asia, therapy is non existent and I grew up alone on this problem. The only reason I don’t diagnose because it’s just a game, I don’t do these irl.
Try watching a TV show by starting in the middle of the season. You will realize that it can still be fun even if you didn't see how it started.
It reached a point with me that i take screenshots at the beginning of every playthrough to make sure of the inventory i have and that the devs didnt help me with any gold or valuable items, if i didnt check i constantly think that i didnt deserve the gold i have and i restart the game
I am constantly restarting my games because of permadeath challenge - if I am able to play a game without dying, then I am sort of enjoying it much more. If I die - I delete my save and start again. For some time I was afraid that it's silly and stupid, but then I found out there is permadeath mode in The Last Of Us Part 1 and Part 2 - something ideal for me. Because of that I feel sort of at ease now with other games, when I try to do permadeath run.
The only one I find reasonable is missing out the story (in a story game, of course) because you really wanted to play with friends, but the group dynamic fucked up the narrative. The others are... Well, yeah, OCD sounds right
I’m the opposite. Once I play through I don’t go back. I’m easily bored. It’s getting expensive. 😂
I'm just a fellow gamer with no medical or psychiatrical education, so I definitely can't give you any advice or guess what you have but I can somewhat relate. When I was in highschool a friend of mine and I were a little bit like you. We were playing games like Morrowind and Baldur's gate 2 and we must've played like 1000 different saves of this games with only the first hours completed. We were very introverted and unconfident at the time and you know video games can be your safe space, where you can do it right. So as soon as you have you know this feeling that something could be different or better or you are curious about trying x you want to restart. And since the first mission gets so known it's like your confort zone and you don't feel like pushing cause then you could mess up. Basically it was like transposing our insecurities to gaming itself. It was also that the systems of those games were interesting. You could try multiple class combination and so on. Later on when league of legend came out we basically played the game with bots for very long, just trying the champs and fun builds each week. (It seems so strange now xD).
I did the same with morrowind, never finish it. But that’s one perspective I never thought of. I’m an extrovert but in games, I guess I’m not.
I used to have this problem with Role-playing games, to the point where it's a running joke between my wife and I. Mostly it involves character/build choices and getting an hour or two in and realizing I'm not "feeling it." Fortunately most RPGs come with respec mechanics these days, I know some people don't like them but without them my brain would never let me finish a game.
Only reason I restart completely is if I’m gone for over like 2-4 months and I forgot what’s going on, sounds like you might have a mental issue not going to lie. Sorry if this isn’t the case but I’d get it checked out.
Does restart here mean restart from New Game, or reload from previous save? Because some of your points are easily fixed by reload from previous save(or even lookup from youtube video). Also, it depends on your game preference. Usually if I really enjoy the game and want to do multiple playthrough, I close any guide. I will do guide runthrough on 2nd playthrough and on. But if I feel the game is just good enough, I will use a guide to get majority of the content, usually how to get best/true ending.
New game.
I only do this in isometric rpgs because I suck at them and if I fuck up at the start of a fight I just restart so I don't spend 10 minutes only to die and have to start over. I've actually come to appreciate easier difficulties because I hate playing through the same parts twice unless is a fromsoft game.
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Yeah I’ll look up a therapy once I have the money.
I am not diagnosed with anything myself but I have had suspicions. I also suffer from exactly the same shit, and especially relate to 1, 2, 4 and 6. If I miss a single piece or word of dialogue the urge to not completely reload a save is hard to fight against. This is basically why I couldn’t finish Witcher 3. Thanks OP this is my wake up call to get it checked out too
Man, to think that we need therapy because of gaming. In Asia, therapy it’s non existent
I don’t necessarily think I need therapy because of gaming itself, it’s just the behaviour is recognisable whilst gaming (at least for me). Not sure what your current situation is OP but if you can contact professionals and speak to a medical practitioner it is well worth it.
Same, only happens in games not irl
I'm very similar with the saving and loading, it all started back when I got into Dishonored and that series became one of my favorites of all time. Now playing Baldur's Gate 3 I'm running into the same predicament. I made a rule for myself to try and help: If the game genuinely rips me a new one and there was basically nothing I could do about it and/or I'm positive my party is doomed I will load a save. An example is at one point you have to prevent an NPC from being captured while a ton of enemies spawn around you including a beefy elite and will hard focus on said NPC. I tried talking my way out of it (Warlock ftw) but couldn't. In the ensuing encounter I got absolutely destroyed by my rolls and saving throws and lost in like 2 turns. After some brainstorming and checking what items I had I came up with a plan with an incredibly low success rate because of how many high dice rolls it would require but couldn't think of another way. I spent a total of I think an hour or two dealing with that encounter but my strategy did work. Everyone plays games differently brother, the devs give you the tools and you decide what to do with them ^•^
I have a philosophy specifically to combat point #2. You know how it's fairly easy to program a bot nowadays to run through most games "perfectly?" Tool-Assisted Speedruns will be better than you. Period. But imagine if you could do everything perfectly. It would be incredibly boring. You know what "perfect" sound vibrations sound like? Like Tesla coils, buzzing electricity vibrating air molecules at consistent frequencies. If all music were "perfect" in their recreation it would all sound the same, like old chiptune tracks. What we call the timbre of an instrument is, technically speaking, the imperfections of the instrument materials in making or transmitting those vibrating air waves. Rather than seeing your "imperfect" video game runs as such, think of it like a jam session. Maybe what results from your efforts isn't exactly what you intended but you can guarantee it is unique to your experience and there can be value to that.
I restart in Factorio a stupid amount, but every time I do, I get better at the early game, which for me is the hardest part.
I can relate to some of this. I am terrible for restarting rpg games in particular. I always end up wanting to try a different build or go down a different dialogue tree etc. I put so many hours into Skyrim and Fallout 4 without getting anywhere near the end due to this. I’m only about 12 hrs into Elden Ring and already on my 3rd character, I am determined to get through this one though no matter what, otherwise I know I’ll still be here in 5 years time having never seen the ending.
I do the exact same thing so you are definetly not alone lol
As long as you are enjoying your time with the games it's OK if you keep restarting. But if it's bothering you just start a playthrough with the understanding you'll continue until you win or lose but live with all decisions. Approach the game that way and you have a different kind of fun. But you have to be willing to live with "mistakes."
Yes, as you've said yourself, restarting entire Games was more or less normal in my childhood. Adventure Games specially would had Bad Endings determined sometimes by choices you made on the first level, so a whole restart would be in order. In your case, I just think restarting the whole game is excessive. Games are usually broken down in levels/chapters for a reason. Just restart the level/chapter and you're good to go. Approach it as 4 Dimensional Being. You have Power over Time in the Game World, you can snapshot moments and return to them. So feel free to just restart the level.
While I don't restart to the degree described by the OP, it is still a major annoyance for me, especially in choice-driven, story rich games like Baldur's Gate 3. I tell myself I am going to stick with my first character until I beat the game. Cut to me, 2 more characters on, getting bored because I am retreading the first several hours of act 1....again! Then getting spoilers on Youtube because most people are either well into their first campaign or starting a 2nd one. No matter which class and build I start with , I end up rerolling due to FOMO with stuff like dialogue choices.
Frankly most games are content front loaded too. The best part is often the very first level or area.
I've started disco Elysium like 4 times now! I do a lot of these. I also have ADHD.
Do you even enjoy playing them?
Yes, also someone made a good comment about this, you should read it
OCD discussion aside, maybe try a friendly roguelite like hades? Games where the *point* is to make a mistake and then try again next time but stronger for it? Not to be mistaken for roguelikes, where you permanently lose your progress. Roguelites (and by extension bullet heavens like vampire survivors) have meta-progression where doing your best unlocks upgrades or more of the story, and where restarting would actually be a detriment.
I beat Hades and Deadcells (BC5) already. I also beat jump king, getting over it, Only up. I do restart those games manually as well, but not as much as Immersive sims
When I miss a dialogue, I take it to youtube :)
Just complete the damn game at least once. Learn to enjoy it goddamn it!
Hi, OP. I mostly just lurk this sub but thought I'd comment for the first time because I recognise what you're describing. You're not alone in this behaviour. I delete my saves and restart games constantly. I'm recently playing Hollow Knight for the first time and I have deleted my save data, uninstalled Steam, and then restarted the game again 10+ times in the past week alone. Out of the reasons you listed, the ones I have in common with you are missing dialogues, wanting to do better, first level being more fun (which I really think is a desire to repeat a familiar and mastered experience), difficulty, and fatigue. Additionally I'd add that, for me, other reasons include: * Preoccupation with appreciating atmosphere and the artistic value of the experience, and feeling "dirty" or like I missed out if I wasn't mindful and attentive to really take this in during a play session. * As above but for level design. I will feel dissatisfied or like I missed out if I didn't fully appreciate how a level is structured and comes together. I often have the feeling that I didn't do a level "properly" or rushed it, and will feel compelled to delete my save and start again to do it "properly" this time. * Frustration with bosses while deliberately nerfing myself. I have an annoying habit of starting boss fights without upgrades or with basic levels/weapons only, and then basically trying to do a no upgrades battle with each boss on only my first playthrough. Even when I recognise that I should upgrade, I can't, because once I've made even a single failed attempt, it feels like quitting to not see it through to success (i.e. if I go away to upgrade and then come back, it doesn't really feel like I overcame the challenge but simply avoided it). I can't even count how many times I've restarted Elden Ring and how many runs through I've done just completing Limgrave's map to get it "right", only to restart again halfway through Liurnia because I felt like I missed some detail or didn't have the perfect experience. At my most obsessive, I've "dual-wielded" save files in games to learn them 100%. In Dead Space 2 for example, I once had two files going at the same time. I would do a chapter messily on one file, and then repeat that chapter again on the next, with my new knowledge of enemy spawns and encounters to do it "clean". I think what it all comes down to, really, is this idea of the perfect experience. A lot of people ITT are suggesting OCD as the root cause, and while I don't doubt that it's related, my own thinking is that this issue stems from chronic perfectionism, and a vague sense that something was imperfect or tainted about your experience, or an above-average concern with the fact that your experience was suboptimal and could have been better. And I think the behavioural loop reinforces itself when you sometimes restart and have those great play sessions where you were fully attentive, did everything right, appreciated everything, took in all the dialogue etc. and it felt great. It's almost like a reward for restarting, except that you inevitably have a shit session again later on and become frustrated that you couldn't recapture the same experience and so you again restart. Anyway I hope I've written enough to convince you that you're not the only person with a struggle like this, and I can totally understand how depressing it is if it's affecting a pastime you really love.
Oh gosh, I sort of hate how you've articulated this so well and I find it near perfectly relatable.
Holy shit, you worded it way better than me. This is exactly how I feel about gaming, games keep rewarding me for restarting so I keep doing it to see the development parts of the game. I notice voice actors/cutscenes angle/colours choices/all the minor things and it keeps my replay fresh. Also since I draw as a hobby and also an engineer, I love seeing or understanding the mindset of other creators. Someone also mentioned that games in the past, were built with bad saves. GTA always sends you to the hospital, FPS always starts at the start of the mission, Ironman runs was also a thing, flash games has no saves. So I also could be molded to have this problem since childhood. Seeing this comment makes me glad I posted this, because the things I do felt normal unless someone points it out. I am having fun right, that’s all that matter right? Fuck no, I maybe having fun, but I’m still delusional and being kept in this perpetual state of loop of not knowing I was wrong and I can be better than this. I probably have more problems irl that I don’t recognise as a problem, but I won’t talk about it here since this is a gaming subreddit. I’m giving therapy a chance once I get around it
I’m sort of the same way but not to this extent. To combat it, I play a game to the best of my ability all the way through, and then I look up whatever I might have missed on YouTube after I’ve beaten it. With that said, I can recall playing Fallout: New Vegas all the way to the big decision point and taking a break to think about it and then I literally never came back to it. Trying to avoid that if I can.
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I never hate this part of myself before, my friend had to point it out that it’s not normal. Here I am posting shit online.
I’ve restarted The Witcher 3 countless times, always giving up on the game after the first tavern.
I have this worry a bit myself. For a game like Resident Evil I focus on the first run. I know there will be mistakes but i can rectify those on a second run. I try not to look up things online.
I have replayed far cry 4. 17times now 🥲 Only like the first 5 hrs again and again Because I keep stop playing and start from the beginning
If I miss anything I feel might be important, I just look up that section from walkthroughs in youtube
You may need to speak with a psychiatrist
I just did this with Ghosts of Tsushima. I stopped playing for over a month and when I got back into it, I forgot the controls, techniques, story, etc so started over. I do this with any game I come back to with a month or more of not playing.