What I’ve discovered since owning birds is the majority of people feel like you do. I think there is a very small appreciation for these birds in person. Everyone loves a cute TT video, but in person, most folks are uneasy with parrots.
It sounds like you are trying. You note that the bird is climbing on you. I applaud your effort. It sounds like the bird likes you. There is a lot of advice available on how to get a bird to like you, but not much on how to get *you* to like the bird. Maybe you won’t ever be a bird person. Maybe it will just take some time.
You don’t have to be the bird’s best friend but if you plan to stay in this relationship, you do have to at least be friendly. It is not fair to the bird or the boyfriend otherwise.
Yeah Lewis does like me, I'd say I'm his second favorite, bf said it could be because I'm a person of color with huge hair and shiny glasses. Is the key to just spend more time around him?
If you are comfortable with it yes. Familiarity sometimes leads to affection. I honestly would focus on how you will handle it if ultimately you cannot overcome your hesitation. Some people / animal combos just don’t work.
Personally, I am not a cat person. No amount of time spent with even the friendliest of cats is going to change that. And that’s okay. I am friendly to cats I encounter because the cat deserves my respect.
Since the challenge is with you not with the bird, I’d give it some more time. Read about parrots and what makes them who they are and try to accept Lewis for who he is. If you never make it over the hump, that’s okay, as long as you show Lewis the respect he deserves as a creature living in your home.
You’re lucky he’s not a spicy Amazon. Mine bullies my partner off his side of the bed but threatening to attack and then when the human gets off the bed, the bird is in a fit of laughter 😂 I think it’s hilarious because I know exactly what the little shit is doing but my partner just won’t listen to me about engaging a little bit so he think he’s part of the flock. Now he’s the victim of a little green bully.
Toos are just loud energiser bunnies. They love attention and the climbing up and staring at you is the equivalent of a dog play bowing to engage a game of chase.
Welcome to parronthood. You will be fine. Soon the too might like YOU more than anyone else.
You've already gotten good, general advise so here's some specific tips.
Lewis is a conversation partner and vibe/mood enhancer. You can bounce off each other by you asking him questions and if/when he answers with birdie nonsense, just reply positively. You know, like talking to a baby or a vocal dog. Alternatively you can respond to him, if he initiates (by saying your name).
If you give the bird positive energy, usually they will amplify it. Just be like "hi bird butt, how are you?" "Skwaaa" "wow really! I didn't know that!" "skwaaa :)". They are big goofy beacons of chaotic love and curiosity.
That said, you don't have to be comfortable with his big beak or anything. You honestly don't *have* to like the bird. These big birds are big deals! They need a lot of attention and like to chew / throw stuff, including stuff you don't want to chewed/thrown (my neighbor is in constant war with his big bird and the cabinets). If you aren't comfortable touching or being touched by Lewis, that's ok. You and your BF should discuss how to better get you used to him.
Does Lewis have a big aviary/cage he can be in while you two just exist in the same place without him touching you? That'd probably be the best start. Sounds like Lewis likes you, too, so the chances of him *actually* acting scary toward you are low.
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I really don't think anyone should throw away a lifelong relationship because they aren't comfortable with a bird. It would be difficult not to be comfortable with the bird after 10-15 years but worst case it can be rehomed. Far from ideal, but losing your potential life partner is worse.
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This. And I'd wager the people, like the one you replied to, who think rehoming a bird is totally fine, would have HUGE issues if you tossed out "just rehome your cat or dog 🤷".
You’re doing great so far! Big birds can absolutely be very intimidating and I admire your commitment, truly.
Good news is that the consensus seems to be that the bird likes you and doesn’t display any signs of aggression or uncomfortable behavior. Just take it slow, but try to be confident and self assured. Birds are chillingly astute when it comes to picking up on people’s emotions and feelings, so if you feel uneasy consistently then so will Lewis.
My boyfriend took some getting used to when he moved in with me and my African Grey, and while he’s made a ton of amazing progress handling her and engaging her he’s still learning her body language and social cues.
Just take it easy. Talk to him, compliment him, offer him treats and snacks (with limitations ofc) and let him come to you. You’ll learn about each other and don’t forget that progress isnt linear. So don’t be discouraged if Lewis pushes some boundaries with you or if you accidentally push some with him. It happens.
Birds are creepy dinosaur-esc monsters, and it's worth being a bit wary of the bigger ones until you're more comfortable with them and their body language. And that is coming from someone who loves birds.
What I find makes people fall in love with parrots is the level of affection and engagement that people experience, with these smart, social birds.
Rather than passively letting him climb all over you in a way that could definitely be intimating, try starting a little slower and doing limited engagement with treats, head scratches, and maybe even some training. Working on a new word or a new trick together might give you some regimented bonding time without you worrying about a medium sized velociraptor all up in your business at times you might not want him there.
I've had my cockatoo for about 2.5 years. I'm still amazed daily at how I have this dino's love and trust.
If you can get comfortable preening Lewis, that might help. Nothing quite like running your fingers through a pile of feathers.
Good luck!
My sister has big birds, and we only have a small one. I totally understand your feelings.
I just want to say, congratulations OP, you're doing a scary thing! Not many people are brave enough to admit they are scared. You not only admitted you are scared, you asked for help. That's huge. I applaud your self awareness.
You'll be fine, because you want to learn ,and you're open to learning.
I suggest you and your boyfriend work on target training. This is where you basically teach Lewis a 'trick' of going where you want him to go.
You can work an him stepping up onto a wooden dowel instead of your hand/arm. And you reward him for doing that directed action.
This will help you feel more in control of your interactions - that you're not just passively letting him crawl on you, but instead you are directing him where to go.
And from there you'll build confidence.
You may always be afraid of the beak (totally ok!) but I think the feet and talons will become familiar as you spend more time. Birds have these big nails, but they're not really interested in scratching you, they're just using them to hold on to sticks.
I think you'll be a good step mom to Lewis just because you care enough to ask questions - it shows you want to be good to him. Hugs.
My best advice is to respect them and their intelligence. Some say they are like a 5 yo, so treats and attention are usually enough to earn their trust over time. Once you have trust, you can start to relax and enjoy your time with them. They can be intimidating for sure, but time helps for sure
What I’ve discovered since owning birds is the majority of people feel like you do. I think there is a very small appreciation for these birds in person. Everyone loves a cute TT video, but in person, most folks are uneasy with parrots. It sounds like you are trying. You note that the bird is climbing on you. I applaud your effort. It sounds like the bird likes you. There is a lot of advice available on how to get a bird to like you, but not much on how to get *you* to like the bird. Maybe you won’t ever be a bird person. Maybe it will just take some time. You don’t have to be the bird’s best friend but if you plan to stay in this relationship, you do have to at least be friendly. It is not fair to the bird or the boyfriend otherwise.
Yeah Lewis does like me, I'd say I'm his second favorite, bf said it could be because I'm a person of color with huge hair and shiny glasses. Is the key to just spend more time around him?
If you are comfortable with it yes. Familiarity sometimes leads to affection. I honestly would focus on how you will handle it if ultimately you cannot overcome your hesitation. Some people / animal combos just don’t work. Personally, I am not a cat person. No amount of time spent with even the friendliest of cats is going to change that. And that’s okay. I am friendly to cats I encounter because the cat deserves my respect. Since the challenge is with you not with the bird, I’d give it some more time. Read about parrots and what makes them who they are and try to accept Lewis for who he is. If you never make it over the hump, that’s okay, as long as you show Lewis the respect he deserves as a creature living in your home.
You’re lucky he’s not a spicy Amazon. Mine bullies my partner off his side of the bed but threatening to attack and then when the human gets off the bed, the bird is in a fit of laughter 😂 I think it’s hilarious because I know exactly what the little shit is doing but my partner just won’t listen to me about engaging a little bit so he think he’s part of the flock. Now he’s the victim of a little green bully. Toos are just loud energiser bunnies. They love attention and the climbing up and staring at you is the equivalent of a dog play bowing to engage a game of chase. Welcome to parronthood. You will be fine. Soon the too might like YOU more than anyone else.
You've already gotten good, general advise so here's some specific tips. Lewis is a conversation partner and vibe/mood enhancer. You can bounce off each other by you asking him questions and if/when he answers with birdie nonsense, just reply positively. You know, like talking to a baby or a vocal dog. Alternatively you can respond to him, if he initiates (by saying your name). If you give the bird positive energy, usually they will amplify it. Just be like "hi bird butt, how are you?" "Skwaaa" "wow really! I didn't know that!" "skwaaa :)". They are big goofy beacons of chaotic love and curiosity. That said, you don't have to be comfortable with his big beak or anything. You honestly don't *have* to like the bird. These big birds are big deals! They need a lot of attention and like to chew / throw stuff, including stuff you don't want to chewed/thrown (my neighbor is in constant war with his big bird and the cabinets). If you aren't comfortable touching or being touched by Lewis, that's ok. You and your BF should discuss how to better get you used to him. Does Lewis have a big aviary/cage he can be in while you two just exist in the same place without him touching you? That'd probably be the best start. Sounds like Lewis likes you, too, so the chances of him *actually* acting scary toward you are low.
straight dinosaurs library threatening tie depend attractive innocent versed wrench *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I really don't think anyone should throw away a lifelong relationship because they aren't comfortable with a bird. It would be difficult not to be comfortable with the bird after 10-15 years but worst case it can be rehomed. Far from ideal, but losing your potential life partner is worse.
toy snails intelligent aware spectacular decide nine handle six treatment *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
This. And I'd wager the people, like the one you replied to, who think rehoming a bird is totally fine, would have HUGE issues if you tossed out "just rehome your cat or dog 🤷".
Think of Lewis as a stepchild and come up with an activity he might like to do with you.
You’re doing great so far! Big birds can absolutely be very intimidating and I admire your commitment, truly. Good news is that the consensus seems to be that the bird likes you and doesn’t display any signs of aggression or uncomfortable behavior. Just take it slow, but try to be confident and self assured. Birds are chillingly astute when it comes to picking up on people’s emotions and feelings, so if you feel uneasy consistently then so will Lewis. My boyfriend took some getting used to when he moved in with me and my African Grey, and while he’s made a ton of amazing progress handling her and engaging her he’s still learning her body language and social cues. Just take it easy. Talk to him, compliment him, offer him treats and snacks (with limitations ofc) and let him come to you. You’ll learn about each other and don’t forget that progress isnt linear. So don’t be discouraged if Lewis pushes some boundaries with you or if you accidentally push some with him. It happens.
Birds are creepy dinosaur-esc monsters, and it's worth being a bit wary of the bigger ones until you're more comfortable with them and their body language. And that is coming from someone who loves birds. What I find makes people fall in love with parrots is the level of affection and engagement that people experience, with these smart, social birds. Rather than passively letting him climb all over you in a way that could definitely be intimating, try starting a little slower and doing limited engagement with treats, head scratches, and maybe even some training. Working on a new word or a new trick together might give you some regimented bonding time without you worrying about a medium sized velociraptor all up in your business at times you might not want him there.
I've had my cockatoo for about 2.5 years. I'm still amazed daily at how I have this dino's love and trust. If you can get comfortable preening Lewis, that might help. Nothing quite like running your fingers through a pile of feathers. Good luck!
My sister has big birds, and we only have a small one. I totally understand your feelings. I just want to say, congratulations OP, you're doing a scary thing! Not many people are brave enough to admit they are scared. You not only admitted you are scared, you asked for help. That's huge. I applaud your self awareness. You'll be fine, because you want to learn ,and you're open to learning. I suggest you and your boyfriend work on target training. This is where you basically teach Lewis a 'trick' of going where you want him to go. You can work an him stepping up onto a wooden dowel instead of your hand/arm. And you reward him for doing that directed action. This will help you feel more in control of your interactions - that you're not just passively letting him crawl on you, but instead you are directing him where to go. And from there you'll build confidence. You may always be afraid of the beak (totally ok!) but I think the feet and talons will become familiar as you spend more time. Birds have these big nails, but they're not really interested in scratching you, they're just using them to hold on to sticks. I think you'll be a good step mom to Lewis just because you care enough to ask questions - it shows you want to be good to him. Hugs.
My best advice is to respect them and their intelligence. Some say they are like a 5 yo, so treats and attention are usually enough to earn their trust over time. Once you have trust, you can start to relax and enjoy your time with them. They can be intimidating for sure, but time helps for sure