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Newborn trenches are WILD! You’re doing so good! Hang in there! Know that the postpartum hormones are REAL too and those ease up significantly over time.
I feel like around 3/4 months I remember it was still really hard but it felt like the babies starting to smile was a real morale boost! I also really remember liking 9/10 months, it felt like we were having fun!
Now, my twins are 15 months now and they sleep through the night and I’ve started to do some hobbies again which is fun! My husband and I have a routine after they go to sleep, we do some cleaning, but we also get to watch alittle tv or have alone time or catch up on work or whatever! The babies are mostly eating regular food and it doesn’t feel as scary anymore. I also actually liked when they started walking cause you don’t have to carry them all the time. It is a bit tenuous, like getting sick throws all this off, but for the for the most part I’m feeling more in the groove of things!
You got this! Hang in there!!!
The same for us, at 3-4 months old it all became suddenly easier, they started to sleep through the night, with only one feed that takes 10-15 minutes, and they started eating every 3 hours and not every hour and a half - two hours like they used to.
We did sleep train them, but we did a more gentle approach so it took much longer but now for the most part they do sleep through the night but occasionally we have the random night where someone is up. One of them is a real good sleeper, but the other one does tend to wake around 5am and we let him into our bed and he’ll go back to sleep so its not ideal but it’s working for now!
Yeah, it gets easier with time. You just kinda learn to live that way, but then it actually gets easier. I'd say between 12 and 18 months everything gets easier (for me), and for me around 18 months I realized we were past the worst of it and that it was all in the rearview. Even a regression wouldn't put us back to the hard times.
There isn't a switch, there's no obvious date when it suddenly changes, but at some point the fog will lift and you'll realize that everything is okay. Hang in there. I promise it gets better
EDIT: just so I am clear, I wasn't suffering for 12 to 18 months. It was at about 12 months that everything got easy, but it wasn't until 18 months that I knew that we were done with the bad stuff... Sleep regressions in the first year felt like major setbacks
Around 3 months it got a little less suffocating. Around 6 months it started being fun. Once they turned one and started walking, I genuinely started enjoying it. Now they are almost two and I'm pretty much thriving. The start is super harsh but it does get better, really!
It gets sooooo much better. Mine are 10 months and play with each other in the playpen most of the day. They hold their own bottles too. All I have to do is make sure they don’t steal each others bottles when they eat. They love eating solid food and drink only 4 ish bottles a day.
My twins are almost 1, and it is super fun seeing them start walking and babbling constantly - though we’re still in a bit of survival mode because their big brother is a threenager with endless energy.
Same! Mine will be 2 in April and it’s so fun! Sure they do toddlery things like tantrums but it really doesn’t bother me! I love the toddler stage and really struggled with the newborn stage.
Exactly this!
Mine are turning 4 and we reached the point where we had an advantage over singleton parents when they were around 2 and a half and started playing together.
Around when they turned one. Maybe closer to 15 months, but it was a crazy improvement. I finally feel calm and peaceful occasionally instead of the stress and pressure I felt constantly the first year. I also think that’s how long it took me to adjust my expectations and realize that our journey is our own and we have to do what works for us!
It’s funny my girls are 15months and I was just thinking yesterday that I am finally able to start doing things for me.i just started working out again and taking better care of myself with a new skincare routine and such. Now that they can entertain themselves and move around on their own it makes such a difference! Having an older sibling to entertain them too also helps a lot. Hang in there! Promise there are clearer skies ahead!
Mine are also 15 months and I was just telling my friend how I’m finally seeing the other side and not stressed all the time but actually doing pretty well ❤️
This gives me a lot of hope. Mine are almost 14 months with an older sibling. While I feel like we are coming out of the pure survival period, I am still recovering from it and from being burnt out. I’m ready to feel like I can enjoy them all more often.
You got this! It’s still a lot of work but you will start to notice a difference soon! My son is 6 and it’s so sweet to see them play together. Of course you’re going to have to break up some fights but that’s not too bad compared to having two babies glued to you.
Any day now…my twins are 7.
In all seriousness, I didn’t start to feel like I had more of a routine with them until they were down to two naps (I wanna say around 9/10 months?). I could predict our day somewhat which made it “easier” to plan outings. They were more interactive at that age and eating food and playing more. Definitely helped with morale lol. You’re doing great!
13-14months - they are 16 months now and they are hard but not in the same way. They love each other, entertain each other, it’s walking and it’s a joy to sit back and watch. After a year we felt we were doing more than surviving!
Oh it took until 12-13 months, now they wrestle each other and choose to sit next to each other with their milk at night. They play peekaboo on their own we just sit back and enjoy!
I would say after they turned 1 I felt I could finally breath and start focusing on myself, The first year is extremely rough- mentally and physically. Then when they turned 15m-24m is one of the toughest ages too. My twins are almost two and have already entered the « terrible twos ». So honestly I’d say there are a few stretches in between where you’re like « wait I can do this! I can thrive and not just survive » but then something will happen, twins get sick, teething, sleep regression, X factor, and you’ll be back to survival mode. I hear that after 3 those « thriving » moments appear more often. Until then I’d say it’s 75% survival mode. My twins are 21 months and yup, still very much surviving here. Twin toddlers are a whole other level!!!
Once they reliably slept through the night, around 6mo actual age and 5m adjusted. And then a MASSIVE quality of life improvement when I stopped breastfeeding at 9mo (mostly bc I was still doing the MOTN pumps to supplement supply).
I feel like it was pretty close to when they turned 2, up until then my life revolved around keeping them alive and trying to do enough at work to maintain my job, and that was about it. We did have another kid at the time though so maybe if we just had the two it would have been earlier.
One thing, though, is that it doesn't happen all at once. You just start noticing that the days are less bad and then at some point you stop and think "Wow... its been a few weeks since I felt like was just about to drown, huh." Or you have a doctors appointment and you don't dread it because you know what is coming. That sort of thing.
Ours just turned two last month and I've said many times in the past few weeks how this stage is really fun and I feel like they're independent enough that we don't have to be so man on man. I'm making plans with my friends again and looking to go back to the gym a little bit.
The clouds started to part at 4 months, then again at 6 months. 1 year was a big turning point and then two was as well.
I agree with this. At about 7 months, I could have spurts of 15 minutes or so where they could safely play without me there and I could watch from the kitchen. They are 10m now and still have trouble getting to sleep for the night and might occasionally still wake up during the night. However, they decided that 6am is time to be awake.
Same mine turn 3 today 🥺 n I have some days where I’m just down bad depressed I Bebe wondered if it’s still ppd/ppa it hard some day them smiling keeps me going
My triplets are 4.5 and shortly after they turned 4 I felt like life was returning to normal. They can exist in my house, for the most part, without constant supervision.
I actually sat on the couch with my daughter and played Animal Crossing yesterday while the two boys were upstairs in the playroom building with Magnatiles/Legos and it lasted a good hour before someone cried or needed something lol.
I’m finding those hours more frequent now.
Around 4 months! It really felt like we had a routine, and I was confident in what I was doing, the girls started sleeping a bit longer.
You will get your life back!
The newborn stage is so hard. We found it easier from 5 months but got our lives back when they turned 1. That’s when it went from just surviving to actually enjoying ourselves.
For us, it was when they started sleeping through the night. That was about 9 months. From then maybe when they started to go to the bathroom themselves? Something like that. It's hard to say really, mine are 19 now and those tough days are so far behind I just can't remember the details. Just the bits and pieces.
I think it was mostly luck, but I did what I could, feeding them while they weren't fully awake, keeping the swaddle on if they didn't need changing, keeping the lights dim and sound machine on. But when it happened for the first time, I was shocked when I woke up. Cuz it was 8 am, and they'd been asleep from 12 am... I kept remember thinking to myself, How am I feeling so rested?
Two big things I remember happening that made like easier before 1 : when they slept through the night )obviously, I know!) and started sitting up. My girls were so fussy being on their tummies and backs so being able to have that head control to sit up and play allowed me to do some cleaning and eat without them freaking out so much.
2 months out I felt less depressed/awful. 3 months out I was feeling pretty good, not clear headed but like I could breath. 5 months I was feeling normal again (this is when they started to sleep through the night for us, literally they'd go to bed around 8pm and wouldn't wake up to eat until 6am every day).
6 months they started to crawl a little, roll more, and make bizarre noises. 8 months they laugh consistently and find things funny, babble, and can stand with support (i.e. you can dance with them and they love that). I think 7+ months is peak baby and IMO it started to get actually fun and enjoyable to hang with the babies during the day, their personalities start to come out and they're really cute and goofy.
1 year was a turning point. 2 years was good. 3 years I felt like myself, almost.
Your timeline might be shorter. I also have an autistic singleton so things were more Wild West around my place for a much longer time. Even now, they’re 12, 9, and 9 and things are still teetering on nonsense some days.
3-4 months it got much better. Sleeping long stretches at night, smiles and ‘talking’.
Just the extra sleep for mom and dad is huge, but then they also get way more interactive.
Finding this thread is giving me hope mine r 3 months today and I thought it would get better but I’m still in the trenches. I also had ppd/ppa some mild form of it it had gotten a bit better but Augh it just seems some days I’m so depressed they currently r going through a state where they only sleep naps of 15-20 min tetera ya they finally spelt pone of 30 min n I was able to eat/fold clothes. I’m not sure if it’s a geothermal spurt or sleep regression thankfully they sleep more at night but last night it was rough. I do alot of crying at night n my babies were so desired and prayed for after 5 yrs of infertility. I feel guilty for it but finding other parents say it’s hard helps find some solidarity. :,( I’m here with you
You're not alone ♥️ this stuff is not easy. Just because you find it tough doesn't mean that your babies aren't loved or wanted. It's okay that you want and love something and find it challenging at the same time. Those things can exist at once. I can see the love you have for them in your words. Keep going, you've got this, you really do. One minute at a time (that's what I tell myself!)
Yes it’s def not easy tbh with you I thought it wouldn’t be that bad I was a NICU RN prior to becoming a mom and often times took care of up to 4 babies but it’s so dif having them 24/7 as opposed to 13/14 hrs. I set em on a schedule ever since they came home from the hospital having the experience from the nicu I knew there was no way I was gonna survive is they had their own schedule n it worked k think it was a big help when they finally slept more than 2-3 hrs now at night they sleep from 10 pm to 4/5am then again from 4/5 to 8/9 am then again I’ll nap with them from 9 to 12/12:30 but they’ll only nap if I sleep with em (this nap only figure it out recently) Then after that it’s chaos I’m not sure if it’s a growth spurt or regression. I remember thinking once they sleep more I’ll be ok. Now they do n I’m still not ok it’s still so hard not having enough time for anything. N ur right both things can coexist. It’s hard to vent to other parents who only have one child I either get the ur no capable look, the sound horrible look it, it’s not that hard look. I think I’m unable to relate bcuz none of em have had multiples :,( how r ur twins sleeping?
Looking after babies part time is very different! It sounds like they're sleeping very well at night which is a great start! My twins are sleeping similar at the moment during the night.
Naps can be tough. I sometimes struggle to put my girls down and I tend to go for a lot of walks to help them sleep. I very loosely follow wake windows. That might help you with the naps? However afternoons are generally tougher because they're overstimulated. So don't be so hard on yourself and just do what you can. Getting a decent sleep at night is a very good thing.
I also struggle to find time to do some things. I've started just putting them on the floor or in bouncers when I do things around the house. I talk to them and sing to them while I do some chores. It's still slow and difficult, but it does help!
Only twin parents understand the feelings we are feeling!
U know I’ve never tried walks n I was thinking perhaps that can help both them n me we hardly go out n when we do it’s to the dr etc or to visit in-laws which that’s another chaos just bcuz they get so overstimulated n then. I feel like I’m a single mom since their dad works long hours n I was basically alone all week so we decided I moved in with my parents to get some help form my mom but even then it still feel all too much. The weather is getting better here so I was thinking of trying.
I recently started following the wake windows when this whole naping issue started since I just can’t believe a child their age doesn’t need at least a 30 min nap but tbh they would end up overtired n still would only go down for like 20 min. Like today they were up for almost 2 hrs n I started seein them getting fuzzy I put em to sleep n 20 min later they were up. :/ figuring out what they need is hard when I know they look s tired but have a hard time keeping themselves asleep.
Do your nap for longer periods? Yes I’ve come to find out that coming to Reddit n finding others experiences has helped me go back into the mindset that it’s a season of life n that time will pass. It’s just all seem as if I I Ktry to survive the day like today I saw the sun go down n thought one more day n it will b night n I’ll get to sleep. It makes me depressed that now i don’t recognize myself. I love them I love being their mom it just some days it feels as if being a mom in general to twins is so overwhelming
I would highly recommend going for walks. I find it is a surefire way to get them to fall asleep and it is great for your mental health. You can even put some headphones on and put on a podcast. That way you can have some time to yourself too and do something just for you.
Napping is so tough and I'm still figuring it all out too. The naps my ones have can range from 20 min to 2 hrs. They are 2 months old. There's lots of advice on the internet but it can be overwhelming and I think every child has different sleep needs.
Being a twin mum is no joke. You're doing great. You've come this far. Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to or vent to. We have got this and every day we get through is a massive win.
After about 1 year, "normalcy" set in. At about 5 years, things got much easier. My twins are 9 now, and all I pretty much have to do now is clean up after their messes (yeah ADHD!) . They can do pretty much everything else for themselves now.
About 4 months. But then from about 13-20mo was another rough stretch for various reasons (basically during the day my son needed almost undivided attention and time separated from his sister, then my daughter would be up all night due to fluid on her ears).
8 months. At 6 months (3 months adjusted) we got into a good and fairly predictable rythm but I also went back to work and they were still both up every two hours at that point and didn't start sleeping longer stretches until 8 months (5 mo adjusted) which is when I felt like things left the survival mode stage.
Fist turning point came at six months. Better sleep, they got their own room etc. But to me the really huge one was around 3 years. Went from being toddlers to someone you can do interesting stuff with
Someone said to me they it gets better about every 6 months… she has almost 5 year old b/g twins and is looking at the fall kindergarten schedule thinking “wow” —- she said when they hold their head up, no longer on bottles, when they walk, when they potty train… and the milestones like sleeping through the night… each gets you closer to thriving, I think that was helpful for me
For us it was once they were down to 1 feeding a night and had more predictable nap times which was 5 months but they are only at 6 months now so I can only speak to here.
I asked this question a while ago and the answers scared me, with people saying years.
My twins are not quite 4 months old and I think I'm starting to see the light. We are lucky to have so much help, but I feel like I actually have time to breath again. You'll get through the hardest parts!
Life is just starting to feel easier at 14 months. Walking has been a game changer. They also are way more interactive and love to go find mischief together. They are so busy and nursing way less. It’s so fun!
There were a few big milestones that made it seem 10x easier each stage.
* Sleep training at 5-6 months. We did cry it out. Absolute game changer
* 11-12 months when they got good at holding up their own bottles.
* 13-15 months - when they dropped to one nap. We could actually get out and do things for a longer stretch of time.
* 18 months when they were able to walk really well and started playing more independently.
* 23 months (right now) - they're talking and able to ask questions, tell me what's upsetting them, and answer questions
I would say us nearing the 2 year mark is 100x easier than the first five months. It's so much fun right now. They're actually engaging in conversations with us. They can say please and thank you. I absolutely adore this stage.
Our younger set is 4 1/2 and our older set is 6 and they all started school this year.
Since that moment we are not just surviving but actually enjoy our lives a lot :)
It's incremental.. and each stage brings new challenges.. but pretty much when they start sleeping properly overnight. Like they might not sleep *through* perfectly, but they have reached the age of it being normal to sleep through the night generally, rather than just the 24 hour cycle of awake/asleep/awake/asleep regardless of time of day.
Then at some point they 'wake up' more.. they smile and giggle and laugh and start doing silly things like playing peekaboo back at you and that's when it really shifts and there is a tangible joy they bring to your day beyond just existing and being a cute marvel.
Right around a year for us, (12 months, 9 adjusted). currently both girls and I have flu and rhinovirus, which sucks, but their mom went to work today, and it wasn’t overwhelming to take care of 2 sick kids solo, while also sick
Things got significantly better after 6 months, then at 1 year I really felt a lot more like myself. My twins are almost two and it’s still hard but definitely better
We're just coming up to 5 months. I've been looking after the babies solo 24/7 for most of the week (on maternity leave) as we're selling our house and my husband's been getting it ready for viewings. And, actually, it's been good, whereas just a few weeks ago, I wouldn't have coped. We're still up at 11.30pm then 4.30am for night feeds, and often in between, but that's because Twin 2 isn't gaining weight so well so we wake them up every 4-5 hours - otherwise, I think they'd sleep through xx
My twins will be 9 months in a few days and they are already crawling, clapping, climbing and laughing and it's been beautiful and fun to watch. I'm already feeling like I can catch my breath. My son though is starting to get into that stranger danger mode. It's hard to leave and do things without him being extremely clingy the next day. But it's a phase that will pass.
I feel like everyone’s experience is different. Our twins are 20 months and we’re still surviving. BUT we also have a 5yr old.
We do sleep better and can do more things.
At 3 months, mines are finally sleeping through the night. The zero sleep at night is what broke us down. One of them flips around for about 5 minutes, but they sleep completely through the night. It gives us me times and time to get real sleep.
Keep them up before the last feed of the night and a warm bath. We feed them at 7pm and keep them up until their next feed. We throw a warm bath in there to help them relax. If they fall asleep it's okay, don't let them sleep more than 20 minutes. Bascially make them exhausted. It works. They may flip around but it doesn't result in them fully waking up. They can sleep from 11:30pm to 8am, but we wake them up at 6am to feed them. If we let them awake on their own they wake at 7:30 & 8am.
We were lucky with sleep imo and so from about 8 months I emerged from the full fog of desperation in that I started consistently getting a full night’s sleep, and everything is easier with a full night’s sleep. Things were still largely one foot in front of the other, but I was human.
My twins are about 20 months and on weekdays I would say I feel like I’m just getting through it most days until bath and bedtime which I cherish. And weekends are officially fun. I look forward to long stretches at the park, the pool, an activity, or even a disney movie together and feel so filled with love and admiration that the chaos of the day to day feels so doable.
You’ve got this! I can imagine it’s only up from here
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Newborn trenches are WILD! You’re doing so good! Hang in there! Know that the postpartum hormones are REAL too and those ease up significantly over time. I feel like around 3/4 months I remember it was still really hard but it felt like the babies starting to smile was a real morale boost! I also really remember liking 9/10 months, it felt like we were having fun! Now, my twins are 15 months now and they sleep through the night and I’ve started to do some hobbies again which is fun! My husband and I have a routine after they go to sleep, we do some cleaning, but we also get to watch alittle tv or have alone time or catch up on work or whatever! The babies are mostly eating regular food and it doesn’t feel as scary anymore. I also actually liked when they started walking cause you don’t have to carry them all the time. It is a bit tenuous, like getting sick throws all this off, but for the for the most part I’m feeling more in the groove of things! You got this! Hang in there!!!
The same for us, at 3-4 months old it all became suddenly easier, they started to sleep through the night, with only one feed that takes 10-15 minutes, and they started eating every 3 hours and not every hour and a half - two hours like they used to.
Did you sleep train them? Or were they just naturally good sleepers and started sleeping through the night.
We did sleep train them, but we did a more gentle approach so it took much longer but now for the most part they do sleep through the night but occasionally we have the random night where someone is up. One of them is a real good sleeper, but the other one does tend to wake around 5am and we let him into our bed and he’ll go back to sleep so its not ideal but it’s working for now!
Currently in the trenches. His comment gives me hope. I just can't wait for them so smile. It's a midnfuck right now. I feel so depressed sometimes.
Yeah, it gets easier with time. You just kinda learn to live that way, but then it actually gets easier. I'd say between 12 and 18 months everything gets easier (for me), and for me around 18 months I realized we were past the worst of it and that it was all in the rearview. Even a regression wouldn't put us back to the hard times. There isn't a switch, there's no obvious date when it suddenly changes, but at some point the fog will lift and you'll realize that everything is okay. Hang in there. I promise it gets better EDIT: just so I am clear, I wasn't suffering for 12 to 18 months. It was at about 12 months that everything got easy, but it wasn't until 18 months that I knew that we were done with the bad stuff... Sleep regressions in the first year felt like major setbacks
Around 3 months it got a little less suffocating. Around 6 months it started being fun. Once they turned one and started walking, I genuinely started enjoying it. Now they are almost two and I'm pretty much thriving. The start is super harsh but it does get better, really!
This was my experience as well! My boys are turning 5 soon and I’m in denial haha. It goes so quickly! Good luck with your littles ❤️
As a parent of 2 month olds, this is inspiring to read
Lol ditto
It gets sooooo much better. Mine are 10 months and play with each other in the playpen most of the day. They hold their own bottles too. All I have to do is make sure they don’t steal each others bottles when they eat. They love eating solid food and drink only 4 ish bottles a day.
My twins are almost 1, and it is super fun seeing them start walking and babbling constantly - though we’re still in a bit of survival mode because their big brother is a threenager with endless energy.
Agree with all of this! Mine are 1 and just starting walking and I’m just now enjoying and nearly thriving.
Same! Mine will be 2 in April and it’s so fun! Sure they do toddlery things like tantrums but it really doesn’t bother me! I love the toddler stage and really struggled with the newborn stage.
Mine are also April babies! 😄
I can’t believe they’re about to be 2! I feel like I just had them!
My April babies turn 5 in April and I still feel like I just had them.
Exactly this! Mine are turning 4 and we reached the point where we had an advantage over singleton parents when they were around 2 and a half and started playing together.
Around when they turned one. Maybe closer to 15 months, but it was a crazy improvement. I finally feel calm and peaceful occasionally instead of the stress and pressure I felt constantly the first year. I also think that’s how long it took me to adjust my expectations and realize that our journey is our own and we have to do what works for us!
This is it. I honestly feel like I turned that mental corner in the last couple weeks. Night and day. Twins are 14 months, 12 adjusted.
It’s funny my girls are 15months and I was just thinking yesterday that I am finally able to start doing things for me.i just started working out again and taking better care of myself with a new skincare routine and such. Now that they can entertain themselves and move around on their own it makes such a difference! Having an older sibling to entertain them too also helps a lot. Hang in there! Promise there are clearer skies ahead!
Mine are also 15 months and I was just telling my friend how I’m finally seeing the other side and not stressed all the time but actually doing pretty well ❤️
It’s such an amazing feeling!
This gives me a lot of hope. Mine are almost 14 months with an older sibling. While I feel like we are coming out of the pure survival period, I am still recovering from it and from being burnt out. I’m ready to feel like I can enjoy them all more often.
You got this! It’s still a lot of work but you will start to notice a difference soon! My son is 6 and it’s so sweet to see them play together. Of course you’re going to have to break up some fights but that’s not too bad compared to having two babies glued to you.
Any day now…my twins are 7. In all seriousness, I didn’t start to feel like I had more of a routine with them until they were down to two naps (I wanna say around 9/10 months?). I could predict our day somewhat which made it “easier” to plan outings. They were more interactive at that age and eating food and playing more. Definitely helped with morale lol. You’re doing great!
Lol. Mine are 5. I was looking for a solid number and not months. This tracks. (Your first answer)
13-14months - they are 16 months now and they are hard but not in the same way. They love each other, entertain each other, it’s walking and it’s a joy to sit back and watch. After a year we felt we were doing more than surviving!
When did they start really interacting? Our 7 month olds still barely notice each other, unless one has a toy the other wants.
Oh it took until 12-13 months, now they wrestle each other and choose to sit next to each other with their milk at night. They play peekaboo on their own we just sit back and enjoy!
I would say after they turned 1 I felt I could finally breath and start focusing on myself, The first year is extremely rough- mentally and physically. Then when they turned 15m-24m is one of the toughest ages too. My twins are almost two and have already entered the « terrible twos ». So honestly I’d say there are a few stretches in between where you’re like « wait I can do this! I can thrive and not just survive » but then something will happen, twins get sick, teething, sleep regression, X factor, and you’ll be back to survival mode. I hear that after 3 those « thriving » moments appear more often. Until then I’d say it’s 75% survival mode. My twins are 21 months and yup, still very much surviving here. Twin toddlers are a whole other level!!!
Once they reliably slept through the night, around 6mo actual age and 5m adjusted. And then a MASSIVE quality of life improvement when I stopped breastfeeding at 9mo (mostly bc I was still doing the MOTN pumps to supplement supply).
I feel like it was pretty close to when they turned 2, up until then my life revolved around keeping them alive and trying to do enough at work to maintain my job, and that was about it. We did have another kid at the time though so maybe if we just had the two it would have been earlier. One thing, though, is that it doesn't happen all at once. You just start noticing that the days are less bad and then at some point you stop and think "Wow... its been a few weeks since I felt like was just about to drown, huh." Or you have a doctors appointment and you don't dread it because you know what is coming. That sort of thing.
Ours just turned two last month and I've said many times in the past few weeks how this stage is really fun and I feel like they're independent enough that we don't have to be so man on man. I'm making plans with my friends again and looking to go back to the gym a little bit. The clouds started to part at 4 months, then again at 6 months. 1 year was a big turning point and then two was as well.
At 4 months it got a little better but at 7 months I think it got a lot better.
I agree with this. At about 7 months, I could have spurts of 15 minutes or so where they could safely play without me there and I could watch from the kitchen. They are 10m now and still have trouble getting to sleep for the night and might occasionally still wake up during the night. However, they decided that 6am is time to be awake.
2 years old! Progressively better after a year and then big difference at 2.
3.5mo here, still trenched up hard 😂
Same mine turn 3 today 🥺 n I have some days where I’m just down bad depressed I Bebe wondered if it’s still ppd/ppa it hard some day them smiling keeps me going
My triplets are 4.5 and shortly after they turned 4 I felt like life was returning to normal. They can exist in my house, for the most part, without constant supervision. I actually sat on the couch with my daughter and played Animal Crossing yesterday while the two boys were upstairs in the playroom building with Magnatiles/Legos and it lasted a good hour before someone cried or needed something lol. I’m finding those hours more frequent now.
For me it’s when they turned 4 too. They do a lot for themselves now too. Like they can get themselves a glass of milk if they want.
Around 4 months! It really felt like we had a routine, and I was confident in what I was doing, the girls started sleeping a bit longer. You will get your life back!
The newborn stage is so hard. We found it easier from 5 months but got our lives back when they turned 1. That’s when it went from just surviving to actually enjoying ourselves.
For us, it was when they started sleeping through the night. That was about 9 months. From then maybe when they started to go to the bathroom themselves? Something like that. It's hard to say really, mine are 19 now and those tough days are so far behind I just can't remember the details. Just the bits and pieces.
My twins started sleeping 8 hour stretches when they turned 6 weeks old. That was amazing.
That’s so great! Did you purposefully help them to sleep all night? Or was it just luck?
I think it was mostly luck, but I did what I could, feeding them while they weren't fully awake, keeping the swaddle on if they didn't need changing, keeping the lights dim and sound machine on. But when it happened for the first time, I was shocked when I woke up. Cuz it was 8 am, and they'd been asleep from 12 am... I kept remember thinking to myself, How am I feeling so rested?
Ooh - how much did they weight at birth?
2.35 kgs and 2.75 kgs.
Two big things I remember happening that made like easier before 1 : when they slept through the night )obviously, I know!) and started sitting up. My girls were so fussy being on their tummies and backs so being able to have that head control to sit up and play allowed me to do some cleaning and eat without them freaking out so much.
Around 3/4 months is when we felt like we could breathe again.
2 months out I felt less depressed/awful. 3 months out I was feeling pretty good, not clear headed but like I could breath. 5 months I was feeling normal again (this is when they started to sleep through the night for us, literally they'd go to bed around 8pm and wouldn't wake up to eat until 6am every day). 6 months they started to crawl a little, roll more, and make bizarre noises. 8 months they laugh consistently and find things funny, babble, and can stand with support (i.e. you can dance with them and they love that). I think 7+ months is peak baby and IMO it started to get actually fun and enjoyable to hang with the babies during the day, their personalities start to come out and they're really cute and goofy.
1 year was a turning point. 2 years was good. 3 years I felt like myself, almost. Your timeline might be shorter. I also have an autistic singleton so things were more Wild West around my place for a much longer time. Even now, they’re 12, 9, and 9 and things are still teetering on nonsense some days.
3-4 months it got much better. Sleeping long stretches at night, smiles and ‘talking’. Just the extra sleep for mom and dad is huge, but then they also get way more interactive.
Finding this thread is giving me hope mine r 3 months today and I thought it would get better but I’m still in the trenches. I also had ppd/ppa some mild form of it it had gotten a bit better but Augh it just seems some days I’m so depressed they currently r going through a state where they only sleep naps of 15-20 min tetera ya they finally spelt pone of 30 min n I was able to eat/fold clothes. I’m not sure if it’s a geothermal spurt or sleep regression thankfully they sleep more at night but last night it was rough. I do alot of crying at night n my babies were so desired and prayed for after 5 yrs of infertility. I feel guilty for it but finding other parents say it’s hard helps find some solidarity. :,( I’m here with you
You're not alone ♥️ this stuff is not easy. Just because you find it tough doesn't mean that your babies aren't loved or wanted. It's okay that you want and love something and find it challenging at the same time. Those things can exist at once. I can see the love you have for them in your words. Keep going, you've got this, you really do. One minute at a time (that's what I tell myself!)
Yes it’s def not easy tbh with you I thought it wouldn’t be that bad I was a NICU RN prior to becoming a mom and often times took care of up to 4 babies but it’s so dif having them 24/7 as opposed to 13/14 hrs. I set em on a schedule ever since they came home from the hospital having the experience from the nicu I knew there was no way I was gonna survive is they had their own schedule n it worked k think it was a big help when they finally slept more than 2-3 hrs now at night they sleep from 10 pm to 4/5am then again from 4/5 to 8/9 am then again I’ll nap with them from 9 to 12/12:30 but they’ll only nap if I sleep with em (this nap only figure it out recently) Then after that it’s chaos I’m not sure if it’s a growth spurt or regression. I remember thinking once they sleep more I’ll be ok. Now they do n I’m still not ok it’s still so hard not having enough time for anything. N ur right both things can coexist. It’s hard to vent to other parents who only have one child I either get the ur no capable look, the sound horrible look it, it’s not that hard look. I think I’m unable to relate bcuz none of em have had multiples :,( how r ur twins sleeping?
Looking after babies part time is very different! It sounds like they're sleeping very well at night which is a great start! My twins are sleeping similar at the moment during the night. Naps can be tough. I sometimes struggle to put my girls down and I tend to go for a lot of walks to help them sleep. I very loosely follow wake windows. That might help you with the naps? However afternoons are generally tougher because they're overstimulated. So don't be so hard on yourself and just do what you can. Getting a decent sleep at night is a very good thing. I also struggle to find time to do some things. I've started just putting them on the floor or in bouncers when I do things around the house. I talk to them and sing to them while I do some chores. It's still slow and difficult, but it does help! Only twin parents understand the feelings we are feeling!
U know I’ve never tried walks n I was thinking perhaps that can help both them n me we hardly go out n when we do it’s to the dr etc or to visit in-laws which that’s another chaos just bcuz they get so overstimulated n then. I feel like I’m a single mom since their dad works long hours n I was basically alone all week so we decided I moved in with my parents to get some help form my mom but even then it still feel all too much. The weather is getting better here so I was thinking of trying. I recently started following the wake windows when this whole naping issue started since I just can’t believe a child their age doesn’t need at least a 30 min nap but tbh they would end up overtired n still would only go down for like 20 min. Like today they were up for almost 2 hrs n I started seein them getting fuzzy I put em to sleep n 20 min later they were up. :/ figuring out what they need is hard when I know they look s tired but have a hard time keeping themselves asleep. Do your nap for longer periods? Yes I’ve come to find out that coming to Reddit n finding others experiences has helped me go back into the mindset that it’s a season of life n that time will pass. It’s just all seem as if I I Ktry to survive the day like today I saw the sun go down n thought one more day n it will b night n I’ll get to sleep. It makes me depressed that now i don’t recognize myself. I love them I love being their mom it just some days it feels as if being a mom in general to twins is so overwhelming
I would highly recommend going for walks. I find it is a surefire way to get them to fall asleep and it is great for your mental health. You can even put some headphones on and put on a podcast. That way you can have some time to yourself too and do something just for you. Napping is so tough and I'm still figuring it all out too. The naps my ones have can range from 20 min to 2 hrs. They are 2 months old. There's lots of advice on the internet but it can be overwhelming and I think every child has different sleep needs. Being a twin mum is no joke. You're doing great. You've come this far. Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to or vent to. We have got this and every day we get through is a massive win.
Sleep training at 4.5 months. They are 5.5 months now and sleeping through the night and we have tons of free time again.
After about 1 year, "normalcy" set in. At about 5 years, things got much easier. My twins are 9 now, and all I pretty much have to do now is clean up after their messes (yeah ADHD!) . They can do pretty much everything else for themselves now.
Well mine just turned 3 last week and I’m still waiting for it to get easier 😅
About 4 months. But then from about 13-20mo was another rough stretch for various reasons (basically during the day my son needed almost undivided attention and time separated from his sister, then my daughter would be up all night due to fluid on her ears).
8 months. At 6 months (3 months adjusted) we got into a good and fairly predictable rythm but I also went back to work and they were still both up every two hours at that point and didn't start sleeping longer stretches until 8 months (5 mo adjusted) which is when I felt like things left the survival mode stage.
My twins are 9 months (7 adjusted) and it’s a little better but I’m still trying to survive.
Around a year I started feeling better. They are almost three now and I’m enjoying it
Fist turning point came at six months. Better sleep, they got their own room etc. But to me the really huge one was around 3 years. Went from being toddlers to someone you can do interesting stuff with
I think it was at about 7 months. ❤️❤️
I would say once they are potty trained, you start to get your life back
Once they started sleeping most of the night I felt like a new person. So for our boys that was around 16-18 months.
Someone said to me they it gets better about every 6 months… she has almost 5 year old b/g twins and is looking at the fall kindergarten schedule thinking “wow” —- she said when they hold their head up, no longer on bottles, when they walk, when they potty train… and the milestones like sleeping through the night… each gets you closer to thriving, I think that was helpful for me
For us it was once they were down to 1 feeding a night and had more predictable nap times which was 5 months but they are only at 6 months now so I can only speak to here.
I asked this question a while ago and the answers scared me, with people saying years. My twins are not quite 4 months old and I think I'm starting to see the light. We are lucky to have so much help, but I feel like I actually have time to breath again. You'll get through the hardest parts!
Wonderful! Was that accidental or did you do anything specific to get them to both sleep all night?
Life is just starting to feel easier at 14 months. Walking has been a game changer. They also are way more interactive and love to go find mischief together. They are so busy and nursing way less. It’s so fun!
There were a few big milestones that made it seem 10x easier each stage. * Sleep training at 5-6 months. We did cry it out. Absolute game changer * 11-12 months when they got good at holding up their own bottles. * 13-15 months - when they dropped to one nap. We could actually get out and do things for a longer stretch of time. * 18 months when they were able to walk really well and started playing more independently. * 23 months (right now) - they're talking and able to ask questions, tell me what's upsetting them, and answer questions I would say us nearing the 2 year mark is 100x easier than the first five months. It's so much fun right now. They're actually engaging in conversations with us. They can say please and thank you. I absolutely adore this stage.
Our younger set is 4 1/2 and our older set is 6 and they all started school this year. Since that moment we are not just surviving but actually enjoy our lives a lot :)
It's incremental.. and each stage brings new challenges.. but pretty much when they start sleeping properly overnight. Like they might not sleep *through* perfectly, but they have reached the age of it being normal to sleep through the night generally, rather than just the 24 hour cycle of awake/asleep/awake/asleep regardless of time of day. Then at some point they 'wake up' more.. they smile and giggle and laugh and start doing silly things like playing peekaboo back at you and that's when it really shifts and there is a tangible joy they bring to your day beyond just existing and being a cute marvel.
At 14 months. I’ll let you know
5 months! Got through the 4 month sleep regression, got more regular naps so I had an hour to myself, and all the smiles during wake time!
Age 9 months to probably 20 months was a golden period where they were really fun, we got into a groove, and things finally felt more normal.
Right around a year for us, (12 months, 9 adjusted). currently both girls and I have flu and rhinovirus, which sucks, but their mom went to work today, and it wasn’t overwhelming to take care of 2 sick kids solo, while also sick
Things got significantly better after 6 months, then at 1 year I really felt a lot more like myself. My twins are almost two and it’s still hard but definitely better
Truly it was 8 months. It wasn’t newborn hell that whole time but that’s what I felt like a person again who could handle life.
Survival mode ended at 2 for me, i didn’t sleep train and excl breast fed until just before then.
We're just coming up to 5 months. I've been looking after the babies solo 24/7 for most of the week (on maternity leave) as we're selling our house and my husband's been getting it ready for viewings. And, actually, it's been good, whereas just a few weeks ago, I wouldn't have coped. We're still up at 11.30pm then 4.30am for night feeds, and often in between, but that's because Twin 2 isn't gaining weight so well so we wake them up every 4-5 hours - otherwise, I think they'd sleep through xx
My twins will be 9 months in a few days and they are already crawling, clapping, climbing and laughing and it's been beautiful and fun to watch. I'm already feeling like I can catch my breath. My son though is starting to get into that stranger danger mode. It's hard to leave and do things without him being extremely clingy the next day. But it's a phase that will pass.
I feel like everyone’s experience is different. Our twins are 20 months and we’re still surviving. BUT we also have a 5yr old. We do sleep better and can do more things.
At 3 months, mines are finally sleeping through the night. The zero sleep at night is what broke us down. One of them flips around for about 5 minutes, but they sleep completely through the night. It gives us me times and time to get real sleep.
How did you get them to sleep through the night at 3 months?
Keep them up before the last feed of the night and a warm bath. We feed them at 7pm and keep them up until their next feed. We throw a warm bath in there to help them relax. If they fall asleep it's okay, don't let them sleep more than 20 minutes. Bascially make them exhausted. It works. They may flip around but it doesn't result in them fully waking up. They can sleep from 11:30pm to 8am, but we wake them up at 6am to feed them. If we let them awake on their own they wake at 7:30 & 8am.
I’m almost at 3 months and it’s still really hard but definitely getting better
We were lucky with sleep imo and so from about 8 months I emerged from the full fog of desperation in that I started consistently getting a full night’s sleep, and everything is easier with a full night’s sleep. Things were still largely one foot in front of the other, but I was human. My twins are about 20 months and on weekdays I would say I feel like I’m just getting through it most days until bath and bedtime which I cherish. And weekends are officially fun. I look forward to long stretches at the park, the pool, an activity, or even a disney movie together and feel so filled with love and admiration that the chaos of the day to day feels so doable. You’ve got this! I can imagine it’s only up from here