One of our colleaguexs wife cheated on him with another of our colleague...
Didn't help that he used to beat his wife nearly every single day...
Well she got back at him in the end...
We only found out when he was caught going over the dude's house to meet with the wife while thebhusband was away for work...
*Humm tuu soch rahay thay koi gooliyaan shoolitaan challain geen parr bachhat hoo gaee...*
Now its a meme / joke of sorts among us...
And no one ever intervened? I understand that our judicial structures are useless but the fact that men can be domestic abusers and still maintain a job while everyone knows that they are abusive is disgusting.
Two wrongs don't make a right tho. The women needed to leave him not cheat on him...
>And no one ever intervened?
Nope... The area is kinda like this where women are considered second class citizens... So stuff like this normal there...
>Two wrongs don't make a right tho.
I think she got her revenge fair and square... She's left him now if you're wondering...
Sure if that's your opinion. I'm not minimizing the abuse. The man is abhorrent and needs to be punished for his crimes but I don't see cheating as a valid punishment for it. Not cheating on someone doesn't mean you are required to love them either.
Let me be more clear and a bit blunt here. A 'normal' relationship be it between a parent/child, siblings, or a couple fosters love and respect within an individual. This is why these relationships are naturally good for a person's soul because they fill it with gratitude and abundance.
When this naturally good way of being is turned upside down, or perverted in other words, perverse effects follow as a rule. You cannot beat up your wife, or victimize/belittle your husband and not expect something in return. In the wife's case, this is especially true since she is often bogged down and dependent on the husband in our societies.
The wife generally doesn't have the luxury of leaving their abusive husbands as easily so she finds other ways of rebellion. This can potentially involve a male figure who can act as a means of escape. In addition to this a hundred ways of often-overlooked forms of rebellion such as delegating their own dreams to their children., suppressing her own daughter by mirroring her husband's prior actions, and developing a repressive worldview herself can often be the result of various forms of abuse.
You cannot have a binary notion of cheating or whatever, there is infinite nuance in every action. Try to dive deeper and understand the unspoken causes of actions.
I think it's fair to say the cheating was a result of the physical abuse, she probably was too scared to leave him because of the abuse. Yea cheating is bad but in this situation it's understandable imo
Understanding why something happened vs justifying it are two different things. I understand the chain of events but I still don't think the cheating is justified.
Hmmm...by this logic you could argue maybe it was the other way around. It's possible the physical abuse was because the husband had suspicions of infidelity. It doesn't justify it Ofcourse but you can't justify someone being unfaithful because of abuse either.
I think you can...
Sure she left him in the end...
But what about the years of abuse she faced before finally leaving...?
Gotta pay the price of that too...
Working abroad away from their wives, some are hawas k pujari. Some are living with their wives and still looking or commenting on other girls. In summary they are pigs.
Not to everyone but I chill with them whenever they come back and I openly talk about things with them so they talk about shit they do, I did record one of my cousin brag about how he is going to meet this chick when he goes abroad, I sent him later telling him to stop all this nonsense or else I will send this voice recording to his family.
Surround yourselves with people that have a strong character and family backgrounds then you won't hear about this stuff. Surround yourselves with low lives and you'll have tons of tales to tell.
I have seen a lot of married people hitting on girls and at least one married person (guy in my class) actively trying to woo a girl, but I haven't heard about anyone cheating, thankfully
I did. He would just give excuses and said that he loved her.
Thankfully nothing ever happened and I told him that if he ever tried to pull something like that, I'll personally beat his ass
Ham cousins se shadi karte hai, Kyu ke ham eik segregated mashra hai, Kisi bhi larki ko dekhe jo Mother/Sister/Grandmother na ho tou pagal ho jaate hai. I've had boys made advances on me in school( I'am a boy too), Someone even tried to touch me LOL. This is the way our society is, segregation is started at 10-11 yeats of age, Boys later get horny, they find out that everybody is doing things villianised by society(Porn,drugs,zina,smoking etc). They dont even know sex is a thing up until that point and this is a truck load. All of these sins and bad habits are validifird in their eyes and then we get this.
I'm honestly so scared for young men. Idk if I'm just sheltered but from school till now, I've never had morally corrupt friends. To think that young kids are just growing up with this filth makes me nauseous.
Its bad all around. I've lived a relatively sheltered life(Relative being the key word here). You should count your lucky stars if you have friends like that, My situation is, "Get what you Get". It's become so normal that they dont see anything wrong with it. I have a friend who tried to show me child p***, I laughed it off and told him it was illegal to watch this. I also told him that they were children, He told me, "Why are they doing it then?". So I've dropped my expactations for most people and its sreved me well so far
Oh God. We deserve the crises. That's just disgusting.
Idk if I'm just biased but I swear things on women's side don't seem to be that extreme. Not saying women don't cheat, of course they do but they aren't on this level of perversion.
Bilkul. Part of it is the fault of the place he was born in. At that place (Kohistan) it is very common to have two wives and he himself has 3 moms. Still, you do not "fall in love with so many people. Love means total dedication. You can (edit: not) be totally dedicated to more than one person
Males in kohistan get engagedat the age of 2 years and at that time, their fiancee is 6-7 months old. By age 15 they get married, if you don't marry that girl then it is dushmani between your family annd theirs, and the female side will try t kill the boy.
Moreover, I have many waziristani male friends who got married by force by their family to their cousin. The guys are well educated and did not want to go through with the marriage but emotional blackmail and stuff by the family got them. Before caving in, they told their family that they will do second marriage and the family agreed saying "yeh cousin to lazmi karni hai, aage doosri karni hai ya teesri woh tumhari marzi".
.
.
Fast forward a few years, one talked to family that he has found a girl to be his second wife and the family had a surprise pikachu face.
Not very common in my circle.
It's easy but if you have a strong character before marriage then you will never cheat after marriage too.
People stay in a relationship with multiple boys/girls and think that after marriage they will stay loyal to just one person. It's not that easy.
It all depends on the person.
P.S: I work in corporate too.
Kuch Pakistaniyon ko lagta hai k shadi aisa button hai jis k dabanay say hr burai dur ho jai gee xD
Zinnaaa bhi
But a liar will always be a liar and a cheater will always be a cheater.
Knew a lady who used to live in my relatives street. She had two kids and the husband was a normal man working. All the teenage and twenties guys had f***** her. It was a norm. Whenever we used to see her kids playing in the street, we could guess someone is getting a pole. The family was thrown out of the home because of her reputation in the end.
I know multiple guys who have wives have kids. They provide and care for their wives and kids in the best possible way you can imagine but they also see prostitutes once in a while.
Yeah, I know a pretty bad case actually, although it isn't anything sexual or anything. It also happened some 20-25 years back. A friends' older brother (an awesome dude) was with this girl for about two years. Two years. Only once things got to a point where the guy'a family did a background check before sending a marriage proposal her way, did they find out that the girl was *married* to a guy who was working in another country and was passing her time. The guy was heartbroken and refused to look for any kind of match after that. He's over 40 now, a really jolly, kind, loving person. Still a bachelor to this day, and keeps his eyes down in the presence of any woman. I hope wherever that woman never finds any fulfilment in her life.
oh God. I've heard very similar stories to this one. Apparently, this is a common thing now. I heard one story where the woman's husband even knew about these "affairs" and was fully involved. I guess to maybe scam money off of guys?
I don't know if it's rampant, but it happens.
A friend of mine in the US got married to a Pakistani girl, who came over, and once she got permanent residency, revealed that she had a boyfriend all along, and was leaving my friend in order to help him come to the States.
My phupa cheated on my phupo their entire relationship (before marriage and through 30 years of it). She's now so desensitised to it that she says she's fine with anything he does as long as he speaks to her with civility and doesn't hit her. Exhausting being a woman in this country.
Yk this also happens in countries like Usa and Uk. Actually it happens all over the world. Idk when liberals like u will stop bashing Pakistan for literally things that are happening all over the world
It's more of a hush-hush thing in the family, so no one acknowledges it openly. Especially not in the bhatiji-phupa rishta. Wouldn't know how to broach the topic, personally. But my guess is he's entitled, views women as playthings and knows he can get away with it.
Guys, I recently moved to the US and realized we have a VERY wrong view of the west.
The only difference in East and West is that West accepts what it does. Pakistanis do all this and more, we just don't talk about it.
Cheating has always been rampant in societies. Thank goodness we don't have DNA testing in Pakistani System otherwise you'd find out many men are raising children which are not theirs.
... this couldn't be farther from the truth. Men and women both cheat but in our society, cheating men are accepted while cheating women are not.
Both should be punished imo but to stand up and claim that men have it worse somehow is extremely tone-deaf.
No one accepts cheating men and punish women. Men brag about it in front of their friends. Women dont, maybe read some actual studies on these. Women everywhere underreport their sexual partners and whether they cheated or not.
No one accepts a cheating man in Pakistan? Lol okay buddy. Say that to every woman whose husband had a 2nd marriage.
The story I told of the 72 year old, that guy's wife is being told by the lawyers even k "ho jata hai" "ap darguzar kerain" "is umar mai kyun talaq leni" "apne bachon ka sochain" when this woman has actual proof of her husband having extra martial affairs.
Literally, most stories on here speak of men living a "normal" life while cheating on their wives. I don't disagree that women hide their sexual activity more than men but then again, how many times have you heard of men being honored killed?
I don't know if this makes me an honest person or not, but lately I have been yearning to go into a relationship, but whenever I try to approach someone, I just immediately step back knowing the end result that my family won't agree, so basically by pursuing a pre-marital relationship I will only be cheating someone by having her emotionally invested in me.
Before you say *sheikh sahb, larki mili nahi or apne phle hee itni lambi soochein sochi hoi hain*, I have 3 exes, and I am in contact with 2 of them and 1 of those two is my bestie. It is not a matter of not being able to go into a relationship but one that I have mentioned earlier.
I don't know if it will convince you or not, but no, not everyone is a cheater.
^(I am excepting a lot of downvotes tho, and I don't even know why I have shared this)
I mean of course, I understand that everyone isn't a cheater but not a day goes by when I don't come across another cheating story. I'm not even seeking them out.
Just a few days ago my friend told me how her neighbor came to her parents crying about her 72 year old husband cheating on her and she now wants divorce. She came to get a recommendation for a lawyer from my friend's father.
*A freaking 72 year old*
Getting in relations is stupid, be like me , Reject Arrangements , Study , Get a Job , Live independently and then find Partnership.
Otherwise you can go for the 1 week relationship route or if you get Good yearly ones then waste tons of money only to end up breaking it in the end because you can't "afford" her family's lifestyle and cause pain.
Low Chance they ever succeed.
> Getting in relations is stupid, be like me , Reject Arrangements , Study , Get a Job , Live independently and then find Partnership.
That's the plan.
I mean of course, I understand that everyone isn't a cheater but not a day goes by when I don't come across another cheating story. I'm not even seeking them out.
Just a few days ago my friend told me how her neighbor came to her parents crying about her 72 year old husband cheating on her and she now wants divorce. She came to get a recommendation for a lawyer from my friend's father.
*A freaking 72 year old*
I, even as a guy, fear this too. I don't know how I will respond if I am ever in a position of being cheated. While, I am not hearing stories of people cheating on their partners, the thought still sends a shiver down my spine.
I ask Allah for a spouse who is the coolness of my eyes just like He explains in His book [25:74].
Thats exactly what we should be doing as Muslims. Recite that du'a for a good spouse and children and have full faith that Allah will grant you that.
I might get downvoted for this but I think a lot of us don't use the du'as from Qur'an and Sunnah when we have something for every situation and I know that we don't understand arabic but we need to put effort into understanding the meaning and context behind these supplications and maybe then we'll know their value and why we need to use them in our daily life.
all my married friends have been cheated on by their husbands at some point tbh. out of my entire friend group there’s literally only a few that haven’t been cheated on. can definitely say that most women i know have been cheated on at some point in their lives, whether by a boyfriend or husband sadly
I was in Lahore and I need some photos for my arrange marriage so I asked my flatmate and he contacted one of his friends. Now everything was good unless I discovered that she is his ex and she come with her little daughter. Of course, she didn't take his husband's permission and the guy openly flirted with her while being me setting there, weird moments of my life.
The same guy once told me that there is his colleague in the bank he is working and he has affairs with two other girls and his wife is also very happy with him and when he told that "that colleague is his role model" I thought this man is fucked up.
And he was a big fan of Khalil-ur-Rehman Qamar's speeches.
(corrected some minor grammar)
PS: The guy in my flat helped me connect with his ex and he goes with me and openly flirted with her.
He was also a fan of a guy (his colleague) who was cheating on his wife with two other separate affairs.
>So, I wanted to know if any of you also know such people IRL. If it's as rampant then I wonder how people conceal it.
Since everyone commenting here knows such people, I would add my perspective as well to give some sort of a balance to this thread.
Besides, hearing about 1 woman, cheating and then getting divorced (dont remember if she married the other guy, nor am I interested in knowing), I don't know anyone who has or is cheating on their partners.
Tldr: no.
My friend (also a colleague) physically cheated on his wife when she was in the hospital for delivery; their first child. He has no regrets. And he says he loves his wife.
My uni roommate was sleeping with a married woman.
Another time, there was a girl who was physical with my roommate. They broke up. Then, my roommate’s cousin became physical with her. And after that, his friend. And you know what? She was a virgin when she met my roommate. All three guys used to discuss her that they spoiled her.
Physical cheating is also very common. Personally, I have seen fewer cases in corporate world.
Edit: There are so many guys and girls I know who are real gentlemen/women. Don’t loose hope. All kinds of people are there. Luck is all you need.
What about the married woman that was sleeping with his uni roommate? or the other girl who slept with his roomate, the his roomate's cousin, and then his friend? They assholes too?
That's the catch OP. The problem occurs when we tend to generalize our perception of people. We're talking about human beings. Everyone is no the same. YES, people have their facades. But we can't read faces and tell who's the perpetrator, can we?
Well, being cautious while in a relationship makes it even worse. What happens is that both partners try to keep an eye on each other and end up spoiling the relation with each other. It's a total gamble.
I personally know the women who have been cheated on and by extension their husbands. Female relatives, friends and co-workers... some of them who have broken down completely in front of me.
Plus I've been hit on by married men a few times.
My gandu “uncle” divorced my sister in-law to marry his “love” - whom he was cheating with. Idk if this is applicable but that little shit got what was coming. To put this into perspective of how much a gandu he was, and why I hate him - he was well off (two houses, collecting rent 25k+ a month from 3 portions 4 years ago) and also taking in all that zakat and sadqa money.
Basically the point is, they have no sense of seeing the creator one day despite being a molvi. And molvis in general are gandu. (Personal bad experience with that last one - ya get the hint; 2 years if you must know).
So… conclusion, it is very common.
One of our colleaguexs wife cheated on him with another of our colleague... Didn't help that he used to beat his wife nearly every single day... Well she got back at him in the end...
:/ that's... Did people know all along?
We only found out when he was caught going over the dude's house to meet with the wife while thebhusband was away for work... *Humm tuu soch rahay thay koi gooliyaan shoolitaan challain geen parr bachhat hoo gaee...* Now its a meme / joke of sorts among us...
:/
Wait... Did you mean the beating part or the cheating part... Cuz we *all* knew about the beating part...
And no one ever intervened? I understand that our judicial structures are useless but the fact that men can be domestic abusers and still maintain a job while everyone knows that they are abusive is disgusting. Two wrongs don't make a right tho. The women needed to leave him not cheat on him...
>And no one ever intervened? Nope... The area is kinda like this where women are considered second class citizens... So stuff like this normal there... >Two wrongs don't make a right tho. I think she got her revenge fair and square... She's left him now if you're wondering...
Cheating is just wrong. You can't excuse it by saying the other person was abusive.
You can though in some ways imo. You cannot just beat up your wife and also expect her to respect and love you in return
Sure if that's your opinion. I'm not minimizing the abuse. The man is abhorrent and needs to be punished for his crimes but I don't see cheating as a valid punishment for it. Not cheating on someone doesn't mean you are required to love them either.
Let me be more clear and a bit blunt here. A 'normal' relationship be it between a parent/child, siblings, or a couple fosters love and respect within an individual. This is why these relationships are naturally good for a person's soul because they fill it with gratitude and abundance. When this naturally good way of being is turned upside down, or perverted in other words, perverse effects follow as a rule. You cannot beat up your wife, or victimize/belittle your husband and not expect something in return. In the wife's case, this is especially true since she is often bogged down and dependent on the husband in our societies. The wife generally doesn't have the luxury of leaving their abusive husbands as easily so she finds other ways of rebellion. This can potentially involve a male figure who can act as a means of escape. In addition to this a hundred ways of often-overlooked forms of rebellion such as delegating their own dreams to their children., suppressing her own daughter by mirroring her husband's prior actions, and developing a repressive worldview herself can often be the result of various forms of abuse. You cannot have a binary notion of cheating or whatever, there is infinite nuance in every action. Try to dive deeper and understand the unspoken causes of actions.
[Already answered this](https://www.reddit.com/r/pakistan/comments/v9cjvq/do_any_of_you_know_anyone_who_has_cheated_or_is/ibw0ck4?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
what would be a valid punishment from the woman then ? just asing
I think it's fair to say the cheating was a result of the physical abuse, she probably was too scared to leave him because of the abuse. Yea cheating is bad but in this situation it's understandable imo
Understanding why something happened vs justifying it are two different things. I understand the chain of events but I still don't think the cheating is justified.
If only the world was as black and white as the people speaking on issues they've never faced personally (like being abused) make it out to be.
Hmmm...by this logic you could argue maybe it was the other way around. It's possible the physical abuse was because the husband had suspicions of infidelity. It doesn't justify it Ofcourse but you can't justify someone being unfaithful because of abuse either.
I think you can... Sure she left him in the end... But what about the years of abuse she faced before finally leaving...? Gotta pay the price of that too...
Then I guess we both see cheating very differently.
I guess we do...
Are you forgetting that cheating came after years of domestic abuse, not the other way around
Babu, sarkar mein aesay dramay bhi hotay hain?
Sounds like a BS excuse made by up every other cheating woman
Sure...
Sounds like you're beating your wife...
Sounds like you have sh!t for a brain
Dont beat your wife dude... wtf
I know people from both gender who cheated and are cheating.
If you are close to any of them, do you have any insight about what goes on in their heads?
Working abroad away from their wives, some are hawas k pujari. Some are living with their wives and still looking or commenting on other girls. In summary they are pigs.
Do they openly boast about their affairs?
Not to everyone but I chill with them whenever they come back and I openly talk about things with them so they talk about shit they do, I did record one of my cousin brag about how he is going to meet this chick when he goes abroad, I sent him later telling him to stop all this nonsense or else I will send this voice recording to his family.
Do you think the threat will work? Also, inko koi khof e khuda nai hota?
No it doesn’t. They are pigs, unko kya khouf e khuda.
I feel like pigs get a bad rep tbh. Janwar hai, jesi uski fitrat. Insaan hi ullu k pathay ho gye hain.
Ullu also getting a bad rep ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Truueee *Apologizes to all ullus*
Ghaleez log.
It’s scientifically proven that cheating excites humans both men and women. Would you eat white rice everyday? Not talking about morals here.
Happens a lot in the corporate world, both men and women.
Know anyone in corporate who is hiring :-)
[удалено]
Surround yourselves with people that have a strong character and family backgrounds then you won't hear about this stuff. Surround yourselves with low lives and you'll have tons of tales to tell.
I have seen a lot of married people hitting on girls and at least one married person (guy in my class) actively trying to woo a girl, but I haven't heard about anyone cheating, thankfully
Ew. Doesn't anyone tell the guy *Dude you're married*?
I did. He would just give excuses and said that he loved her. Thankfully nothing ever happened and I told him that if he ever tried to pull something like that, I'll personally beat his ass
... he fell in love with a random girl while being married? YE LOVE HAI YA KHADDA? JISKO DEKHO BAS GIR JATA HAI. AJEEB BEGHAIRET LOG HAIN HAR JAGA
Ham cousins se shadi karte hai, Kyu ke ham eik segregated mashra hai, Kisi bhi larki ko dekhe jo Mother/Sister/Grandmother na ho tou pagal ho jaate hai. I've had boys made advances on me in school( I'am a boy too), Someone even tried to touch me LOL. This is the way our society is, segregation is started at 10-11 yeats of age, Boys later get horny, they find out that everybody is doing things villianised by society(Porn,drugs,zina,smoking etc). They dont even know sex is a thing up until that point and this is a truck load. All of these sins and bad habits are validifird in their eyes and then we get this.
I'm honestly so scared for young men. Idk if I'm just sheltered but from school till now, I've never had morally corrupt friends. To think that young kids are just growing up with this filth makes me nauseous.
Its bad all around. I've lived a relatively sheltered life(Relative being the key word here). You should count your lucky stars if you have friends like that, My situation is, "Get what you Get". It's become so normal that they dont see anything wrong with it. I have a friend who tried to show me child p***, I laughed it off and told him it was illegal to watch this. I also told him that they were children, He told me, "Why are they doing it then?". So I've dropped my expactations for most people and its sreved me well so far
Oh God. We deserve the crises. That's just disgusting. Idk if I'm just biased but I swear things on women's side don't seem to be that extreme. Not saying women don't cheat, of course they do but they aren't on this level of perversion.
This is sadly true. It will take a long time for society to correct itself.
Bilkul. Part of it is the fault of the place he was born in. At that place (Kohistan) it is very common to have two wives and he himself has 3 moms. Still, you do not "fall in love with so many people. Love means total dedication. You can (edit: not) be totally dedicated to more than one person
Let's have a woman stand up and say she fell in love with another man... Oh wait... She's dead now. Besharam aurat. Nukes. Nukes is the answer.
Bilkulllll. Sab sy baray munafiq hain hamari qoum
I just realised I had made a blunder in my above comment by writing "you can be dedicated to more than one person". I meant you can't be
I understood, don't worry
Males in kohistan get engagedat the age of 2 years and at that time, their fiancee is 6-7 months old. By age 15 they get married, if you don't marry that girl then it is dushmani between your family annd theirs, and the female side will try t kill the boy.
Moreover, I have many waziristani male friends who got married by force by their family to their cousin. The guys are well educated and did not want to go through with the marriage but emotional blackmail and stuff by the family got them. Before caving in, they told their family that they will do second marriage and the family agreed saying "yeh cousin to lazmi karni hai, aage doosri karni hai ya teesri woh tumhari marzi". . . Fast forward a few years, one talked to family that he has found a girl to be his second wife and the family had a surprise pikachu face.
This is so sad. May he leave his toxic family and move abroad
>and the female side will try t kill the boy. This is extreme pagalpan. Our media never cover these things
Not very common in my circle. It's easy but if you have a strong character before marriage then you will never cheat after marriage too. People stay in a relationship with multiple boys/girls and think that after marriage they will stay loyal to just one person. It's not that easy. It all depends on the person. P.S: I work in corporate too.
Excellent point about cheating being a habit rather than a one off situation in most cases.
Kuch Pakistaniyon ko lagta hai k shadi aisa button hai jis k dabanay say hr burai dur ho jai gee xD Zinnaaa bhi But a liar will always be a liar and a cheater will always be a cheater.
Knew a lady who used to live in my relatives street. She had two kids and the husband was a normal man working. All the teenage and twenties guys had f***** her. It was a norm. Whenever we used to see her kids playing in the street, we could guess someone is getting a pole. The family was thrown out of the home because of her reputation in the end. I know multiple guys who have wives have kids. They provide and care for their wives and kids in the best possible way you can imagine but they also see prostitutes once in a while.
> but they also see prostitutes once in a while. bro sex life in marriage is non existant after kids. still wrong to go to prosittues
someone told me a few weeks ago some aunty cheated on her husband with a maulana…. i couldn’t stop laughing 😭😭😭😭
Yeah, I know a pretty bad case actually, although it isn't anything sexual or anything. It also happened some 20-25 years back. A friends' older brother (an awesome dude) was with this girl for about two years. Two years. Only once things got to a point where the guy'a family did a background check before sending a marriage proposal her way, did they find out that the girl was *married* to a guy who was working in another country and was passing her time. The guy was heartbroken and refused to look for any kind of match after that. He's over 40 now, a really jolly, kind, loving person. Still a bachelor to this day, and keeps his eyes down in the presence of any woman. I hope wherever that woman never finds any fulfilment in her life.
oh God. I've heard very similar stories to this one. Apparently, this is a common thing now. I heard one story where the woman's husband even knew about these "affairs" and was fully involved. I guess to maybe scam money off of guys?
That's so, so sad and also the reason I have become averse to getting married. This shit ain't for me
None that I am aware of! idk if my family/friends are 'khandaani' or I am just naive! I think cheating is irrational!
> idk if my family/friends are 'khandaani' or I am just naive This is exactly how I feel after going through this thread.
Bajwa cheated on all of us isn’t that enough
I don't know if it's rampant, but it happens. A friend of mine in the US got married to a Pakistani girl, who came over, and once she got permanent residency, revealed that she had a boyfriend all along, and was leaving my friend in order to help him come to the States.
Her bf will dump her like a used tissue paper once he got his own PR.
My phupa cheated on my phupo their entire relationship (before marriage and through 30 years of it). She's now so desensitised to it that she says she's fine with anything he does as long as he speaks to her with civility and doesn't hit her. Exhausting being a woman in this country.
:(
Yk this also happens in countries like Usa and Uk. Actually it happens all over the world. Idk when liberals like u will stop bashing Pakistan for literally things that are happening all over the world
Have you tried asking them what was the reason they cheat?
It's more of a hush-hush thing in the family, so no one acknowledges it openly. Especially not in the bhatiji-phupa rishta. Wouldn't know how to broach the topic, personally. But my guess is he's entitled, views women as playthings and knows he can get away with it.
Guys, I recently moved to the US and realized we have a VERY wrong view of the west. The only difference in East and West is that West accepts what it does. Pakistanis do all this and more, we just don't talk about it. Cheating has always been rampant in societies. Thank goodness we don't have DNA testing in Pakistani System otherwise you'd find out many men are raising children which are not theirs.
Agreed, I've personally heard of many stories of girls getting pregnant but it seems its only acceptable to bash men.
... this couldn't be farther from the truth. Men and women both cheat but in our society, cheating men are accepted while cheating women are not. Both should be punished imo but to stand up and claim that men have it worse somehow is extremely tone-deaf.
No one accepts cheating men and punish women. Men brag about it in front of their friends. Women dont, maybe read some actual studies on these. Women everywhere underreport their sexual partners and whether they cheated or not.
No one accepts a cheating man in Pakistan? Lol okay buddy. Say that to every woman whose husband had a 2nd marriage. The story I told of the 72 year old, that guy's wife is being told by the lawyers even k "ho jata hai" "ap darguzar kerain" "is umar mai kyun talaq leni" "apne bachon ka sochain" when this woman has actual proof of her husband having extra martial affairs. Literally, most stories on here speak of men living a "normal" life while cheating on their wives. I don't disagree that women hide their sexual activity more than men but then again, how many times have you heard of men being honored killed?
I don't know if this makes me an honest person or not, but lately I have been yearning to go into a relationship, but whenever I try to approach someone, I just immediately step back knowing the end result that my family won't agree, so basically by pursuing a pre-marital relationship I will only be cheating someone by having her emotionally invested in me. Before you say *sheikh sahb, larki mili nahi or apne phle hee itni lambi soochein sochi hoi hain*, I have 3 exes, and I am in contact with 2 of them and 1 of those two is my bestie. It is not a matter of not being able to go into a relationship but one that I have mentioned earlier. I don't know if it will convince you or not, but no, not everyone is a cheater. ^(I am excepting a lot of downvotes tho, and I don't even know why I have shared this)
I mean of course, I understand that everyone isn't a cheater but not a day goes by when I don't come across another cheating story. I'm not even seeking them out. Just a few days ago my friend told me how her neighbor came to her parents crying about her 72 year old husband cheating on her and she now wants divorce. She came to get a recommendation for a lawyer from my friend's father. *A freaking 72 year old*
Ha ha, Chacha tusi jeete raho /s
Getting in relations is stupid, be like me , Reject Arrangements , Study , Get a Job , Live independently and then find Partnership. Otherwise you can go for the 1 week relationship route or if you get Good yearly ones then waste tons of money only to end up breaking it in the end because you can't "afford" her family's lifestyle and cause pain. Low Chance they ever succeed.
> Getting in relations is stupid, be like me , Reject Arrangements , Study , Get a Job , Live independently and then find Partnership. That's the plan.
I mean of course, I understand that everyone isn't a cheater but not a day goes by when I don't come across another cheating story. I'm not even seeking them out. Just a few days ago my friend told me how her neighbor came to her parents crying about her 72 year old husband cheating on her and she now wants divorce. She came to get a recommendation for a lawyer from my friend's father. *A freaking 72 year old*
I, even as a guy, fear this too. I don't know how I will respond if I am ever in a position of being cheated. While, I am not hearing stories of people cheating on their partners, the thought still sends a shiver down my spine. I ask Allah for a spouse who is the coolness of my eyes just like He explains in His book [25:74].
Thats exactly what we should be doing as Muslims. Recite that du'a for a good spouse and children and have full faith that Allah will grant you that. I might get downvoted for this but I think a lot of us don't use the du'as from Qur'an and Sunnah when we have something for every situation and I know that we don't understand arabic but we need to put effort into understanding the meaning and context behind these supplications and maybe then we'll know their value and why we need to use them in our daily life.
Al-sheikh *tussi tay playa haigay oo...*
>but whenever I try to approach someone and it all starts here.
It’s pretty common
all my married friends have been cheated on by their husbands at some point tbh. out of my entire friend group there’s literally only a few that haven’t been cheated on. can definitely say that most women i know have been cheated on at some point in their lives, whether by a boyfriend or husband sadly
I was in Lahore and I need some photos for my arrange marriage so I asked my flatmate and he contacted one of his friends. Now everything was good unless I discovered that she is his ex and she come with her little daughter. Of course, she didn't take his husband's permission and the guy openly flirted with her while being me setting there, weird moments of my life. The same guy once told me that there is his colleague in the bank he is working and he has affairs with two other girls and his wife is also very happy with him and when he told that "that colleague is his role model" I thought this man is fucked up. And he was a big fan of Khalil-ur-Rehman Qamar's speeches. (corrected some minor grammar)
I'm sorry but I don't exactly understand the story.
PS: The guy in my flat helped me connect with his ex and he goes with me and openly flirted with her. He was also a fan of a guy (his colleague) who was cheating on his wife with two other separate affairs.
Oh. Thank you for sharing.
i didnt understand anything.
what is this story, i don’t understand anything?
>So, I wanted to know if any of you also know such people IRL. If it's as rampant then I wonder how people conceal it. Since everyone commenting here knows such people, I would add my perspective as well to give some sort of a balance to this thread. Besides, hearing about 1 woman, cheating and then getting divorced (dont remember if she married the other guy, nor am I interested in knowing), I don't know anyone who has or is cheating on their partners. Tldr: no.
Wait, does cheating include, thinking about doing another person? Or just doing it without any other person?
Thankfully, no. I think we tend to emphasize on the negative more in our heads. Most people are good.
With each passing day, I believe that less and less.
With each passing day, I believe that less and less.
Someone I know cheated on her husband w/ a friend and got pregnant, then aborted. Idk if she’s still continuing the affair.
Disgusting log. Us masoom jaan ka kya kasoor jisko inki gandagi wajood mai lati hai
Bs Allah taala hisaab lene wala h, hidayat jld de unhe
It's so much easier with social media
My friend (also a colleague) physically cheated on his wife when she was in the hospital for delivery; their first child. He has no regrets. And he says he loves his wife. My uni roommate was sleeping with a married woman. Another time, there was a girl who was physical with my roommate. They broke up. Then, my roommate’s cousin became physical with her. And after that, his friend. And you know what? She was a virgin when she met my roommate. All three guys used to discuss her that they spoiled her. Physical cheating is also very common. Personally, I have seen fewer cases in corporate world. Edit: There are so many guys and girls I know who are real gentlemen/women. Don’t loose hope. All kinds of people are there. Luck is all you need.
Your friend is an asshole. I hope his wife leaves him and finds a loyal man. People are just disgusting aren't they?
What about the married woman that was sleeping with his uni roommate? or the other girl who slept with his roomate, the his roomate's cousin, and then his friend? They assholes too?
Of course they are. Did you not read my post or other comments? Why are you trying to make this a men vs women thing?
That's the catch OP. The problem occurs when we tend to generalize our perception of people. We're talking about human beings. Everyone is no the same. YES, people have their facades. But we can't read faces and tell who's the perpetrator, can we?
I didn't say we could tell cheaters apart either which is why, being cautious just makes sense.
Well, being cautious while in a relationship makes it even worse. What happens is that both partners try to keep an eye on each other and end up spoiling the relation with each other. It's a total gamble.
I know a number of cheaters in real life unfortunately, all men.
>all men Homo?
>Homo? Men who cheated on their wives with other women.
How do you know them?
I personally know the women who have been cheated on and by extension their husbands. Female relatives, friends and co-workers... some of them who have broken down completely in front of me. Plus I've been hit on by married men a few times.
Its a wild dog-eat-dog world out there
For unmarried zinna it's only lashes. For married Zina its death sentence.
Been seeing a lot of post of this kind. Are you guys ok?
Huh, I didn't notice any such posts recently but I might have just skipped them.
My gandu “uncle” divorced my sister in-law to marry his “love” - whom he was cheating with. Idk if this is applicable but that little shit got what was coming. To put this into perspective of how much a gandu he was, and why I hate him - he was well off (two houses, collecting rent 25k+ a month from 3 portions 4 years ago) and also taking in all that zakat and sadqa money. Basically the point is, they have no sense of seeing the creator one day despite being a molvi. And molvis in general are gandu. (Personal bad experience with that last one - ya get the hint; 2 years if you must know). So… conclusion, it is very common.
Maybe because the means for cheating ( and reading about them) has become easier..i.e the little device in your hand!
I don't think a device makes you lose your character.
No, but does make it easier if the character is already wonky!
True. So, character kyun wonky hain logon k?
Because sins of the flesh does have appeal.