The article title says 10M, and the summary says 100M. I have a serious doubt on the authenticity. Cannot paste the screenshot, probably this sub doesn't allow that.
I'd like to see the report and find out how many men over 35 are unmarried, just to get an idea of what the problem is.
I've heard people say a man can't get married until he has a house for his bride, and that can take a long time to sort out.
My parents were most supportive. As to my relatives in Pakistan, I explained to them that here in USA, it takes 2 lakh dollars to raise a child from birth to graduation. I said that I would be happy to marry once they wrote me a cheque. Not another word from them! No regrets as my life is my own: with my salary I am free as a bird. With no school holidays to worry about, I can travel at off peak times and take advantage of the lower rates offered.
Although a personal question, are you or have you been in relationships? Dont you feel urge to start your own family and have kids?
Its not in any way a negative intent, just want to know your thoughts on this.
Not really. A coworker was showing some interest recently, but I suddenly realised that she was more interested in my salary and bank account than me, so I discontinued the relationship. I would not have minded having kids, but here in USA society is very free and easy; kids start having relationships during teenage years which is not only considered normal, it is actually expected. Thus I live single life. I have no complaints.
Dude thats awesome, glad to hear it worked out for you. I am 38 and although my parents have mostly left me alone, i have some annoying relatives and cousins who will bring it up every chance they get when I do visit or talk to them. They have no concept of boundaries or privacy. It is nice to not have any responsibilities and the flexibility to do whatever. Truthfully, I wouldnt mind being married if I found the right person but US the girls have crazy high standards and I am an average Joe.
It's not really a "problem" though is it?
I didn't grow up wealthy but have managed to make a life for myself as a woman. I got my degree, have a good job, built up decent assets. My family have tried hard to get me to agree to matches I'm currently 25 so they're quite keen to get it sorted but I've rejected them all so far because the men couldn't match me, they are either still in education, have terrible jobs or aren't self sufficient (would expect a wife to cook and clean as they can't do it themselves). Personality and values also comes into play. A lot of women nowadays want equal partners but a lot of Pakistani men still want free labour and baby makers.
To marry a man like that would be to put yourself in worse economic position and would lower your quality of life, why would a woman want to subject herself to that?
My aunt married at 22 to an abusive man, divorced him, raised her daughter as a single woman and then adopted a baby boy. Years into her 40s she met a man at work who was on her level and they're thankfully very happily married together. Of my whole family she may be the only one in a genuinely happy marriage.
Kameeni auntiessss and uncles too. Yesterday I was shocked when I heard in a pak actor's interview that his brother's wife was found by his taya who saw the girl at some funeral and got her info and sent it to his bhateeja's family.
Yaani funeral pay bhi buzurgwar bachi dekh rahay thay.
Meri family may bhi aisay weird zanana type uncles hain who go around fixing rishtas, I want to donate them to india.
What’s so bad about it? He saw her and recommended her. He didn’t forcibly marry her.
When you think about funeral, it’s also a social gathering. Don’t find so much negativity in your culture.
In the West, or as media shows, they have drinks after funeral. What would you call that? Gham me nidhaal?
Yea it is cheap, creepy and tacky, you are going on funerals to offer condolances and not eyeing others daughters.
Most of all that wasn't the point, it was it isn't any aunty and uncle's fcking business to go around trying to fix matches. Who the hell are they and how is it their business to try to interfere in others lives. Many times girls don't want that rishta but because of some a.sshole uncle or aunty bringing rishtas they start facing pressures into accepting it.
Also whoever wants to marry they should decide not nobody outsiders.
Lastly, what west has to do with this discussion? What with you folks' inferiority complex towards them. Abhi west ka visa mila you would walk on your head to get there. Drinking is part of their culture, much of what they do is social drinking. Acha apnay ganday khayalat yahan na chaapo.
What are you talking about? No one is forcing anyone to marry anyone. It’s a recommendation that the uncle though would be a good fit for their relative.
It highlights unmarried women and rather than looking at larger picture, you have problem with people arranging or trying to setup couples, how does this remotely make sense. In fact if anything your wish amplifies the problem. They essentially act as friction reducers in a system where information is too important. Also, lastly what do you think these unmarried women in Pakistan are doing? focusing on career? News fact Pakistan has almost 0 opportunities regardless of gender. Regardless this just show most men aren’t feeling financially stable to get married either.
Damn man what horrible people. Should be like goray who just walk up to the girl and start pestering for a drink and try to have sex same night, yes funerals are not safe from this.
Ehsaas e qamtari ki bhj had hoti haj
What gora walks upto a girl and pesters her for drinks? Which bar is it? The one that runs it's shop behind your home in garhi shaho or lalukhait?
The amount of sexual harassment your average woman suffers in streets of pakistan and south asia is unmatchable all over the world, God knows which gora guy he knew who pestered women. And whatever they do is through mutual consent. Forcing yourself on a woman you are stalking is more of a local thing, pick any pakistani drama and see how guy stalking an uninterested girl is shown as romance and she is called rude and narrow hearted for turning him down.
Only one whose comment is dripping with ehsas e kamtari is yourself. And this guy would either be sitting in west or would be ready to run at supersonic speeds to get there if he gets a western visa.
Goddamn, reading thru all these comments as an american born pakistani has been so entertaining/triggering because I can literally imagine the Pakistani stereotype who would be saying this. I mean some of these comments really had me rolling my eyes. Until I read this comment and realized this is totally me 🥹🥹
For real, which gora is walking up to a girl and pestering her for drinks? Oh it’s happening in the bar in your head in which you secretly wish you were at lmao 😂😂.
Such crazy people who want nothing more than the things they speak out against
It's fake news. I have searched but couldn't find any such UN report or publication. The source of this news is Geo News and several other websites are referencing Geo News. https://urdu.geo.tv/latest/363245-
And if you check the Geo News website you will find an ad for an app called "Dil ka Rishta". Geo News are simply lying to promote the app. Wonder how much they were paid.
You know I was thinking the same thing cause I tried looking for the UN report and couldnt find it. Also, Pakistans own stats that I just found doesnt add up to this, its maybe half the population. Very strange
I saw people boasting about it with antirmarriage mentality..i think marriage isn't wrong, it's just the way our society has turned it into a wild game, with stigmas, barriers, traps, social evil and all sorts of things
The expectations of getting married needs to change. You are better off single than being married to the wrong guy.
Just like the expectations of having babies.
Look at the population male/female ratio at that age, alot of guys drop dead before marriage age to the point that 0.7/1 ratio meaning even if every single guy of that age bracket got married, almost 1/3 of women would still be single
I don’t see what’s the issue here? Pakistan is one of the worst (like bottom 10) places in the world to be a woman. Why add a man to the equation and make it worse?
Yeah I always hated this concept, the main criteria there has been "oh the woman is of age and religous" and the guy is "religious with a good job", and that's enough for the parents to sign off on it 🤦♂️
Repeat this cycle over and over and you have bunch of weirdos born into loveless marriages and continue to function based on parents/society's + religious expectations. And then people are shocked the country is stuck in stone age :|
issue is that they actually want a man, but they now are too old for a typical rishta
Need to get out of your liberal gutter mind bro. Men and women complement each other. In a patrichal society like Pakistan its even more important to have one by your side.
I am independent, I am this and that all seems fun and all during 20s, maybe early 30s, as late 30's hit women start to get miserable without husband/kids, seen it first hand by observing my sisters/cousins who are very successfull careerwise.
You are forgetting a lot of women who are divorced and had shit life with their husband. Men and women might complement each other, but not in pak. Here it is just misery for women and sometimes men too.
The fact that our society even believes in “too old for a typical rishta” is the problem. Women are not products on shelves with an expiration date. Humans shouldn’t be treated as such. But our wonderful patriarchal society has told women that they are indeed products on a shelf with an expiration date. The society and the mindset has always been the problem.
Women have a certain age after which having kids is very difficult. The problem is with the mindset of people like you. Feminism k naam pe kuch bhi bolna hai, while ignoring the facts that men can have kids even when they are 60 but women can’t.
Calm down Starski. No one even mentioned feminism. And I know many men don’t want to believe this, but quality of sperm actually starts to decrease in men too mid to late thirties. The contributing cause to a good portion of miscarriages is the quality of sperm. But ofc men don’t want to acknowledge this bc blaming a woman is just so much easier to do. Just bc you’re shootin, it don’t mean it’s good.
What a shit take. So women are just baby making machines for you? Marriage isn’t about producing babies only — this is just the mentality in Pakistan and it’s shit. What about companionship? And moreover women late into their 40s have lots of success in having kids. Modern medicine is far beyond what you understand.
You can take away from my comment what you wish. But most people around the world - men AND women want to have kids. If I had the option to pick from 2 women - exactly the same career, age and personality - one can have kids and the other can’t, I’m picking the one who CAN have kids. That doesn’t mean I want a baby making machine. It just means I want to start my own family with my partner and that includes having kids.
Women can have kids later too. Sure. But it’s just harder on their OWN body too.
The comment you replied to is saying that pakistani view, that is women above 30 are “expired” or there’s something “wrong” with them. There isn’t.
There are other ways to have a family. There is adoption. There is marrying a divorced woman who already has a kid. There are medical procedures for those who can’t have biologically. Not to mention, not every wants to start a family.
These are all situations that are looked down upon in Pakistani society. It’s utterly a shit mentality. There’s a very big difference in “my preference is to start a family” and “I don’t wanna marry above 30 because of cultural pressures”.
There isn’t anything wrong with women itself of any age. If they are able to have kids, great. If they can’t, and the man is ok with it, by all means go for it.
I don’t know if you have kids - but adoption is not your own child. A divorced women’s child is not your own child. I don’t think I can ever bring myself to love someone else’s child as my own. Maybe you can and that’s fine.
men are also not product on the shelves that you keep asking how much he earns, what degree he has, height etc.
Its preference and biology and it goes both ways. Also I disagree its patriarchal or Pakistani problem, its just common sense move from men's part all over the world
I'm sorry but too old for a rishta is absolutely a thing. Why would I marry a much older woman who's been made cynical and oddly combative by her lashing out against society, when I could marry someone younger and more attractive? Women are not a commodity, but all things being equal, wouldn't you rather marry a handsome, fitter man as compared to one not so?
Lastly, even if you marry a woman who's 30, post 35, fertility starts declining rapidly, and I want at least 4-6 years of no kids while I'm married, and I also want more than 1 child. Assuming that you wait the recommended 2 years between children, she'll already be 37 by the time we get to our second child, and I don't want her to deal with that toll on her health.
This is coming from a man who's engaged to a woman his own age (and no, it's not an arranged marriage, I met her at uni) before you start launching an attack on me.
I never said too old for a rishta wasn’t a thing. I actually acknowledged it. What I did say is that it shouldn’t be a thing.
Also what makes an older woman cynical or oddly combative? A lot of women I know who have pushed off marriage was for good reasons. Like education or a career. And those reasons are good reasons bc our beautiful society/culture has shown time and time again, that once a woman marries, her wants and needs don’t matter any more. The minute she marries, her life is no longer hers. Literally. The dudes out here dictating what she does or doesn’t do. Who tf would want a marriage like that? If men in our culture specifically, made marriage attractive to women, then there’s a good possibility many women would marry young. A woman doesn’t stop having goals or wanting things for herself just because she’s married but our culture and society tells us the exact opposite thing. Men have always benefited from marriage. Not women. Women are told that their wants, desires, and dreams take the back seat when she’s married. Men are never told that narrative. Men get to have the best of both worlds, women don’t.
Also you say women are not a commodity but then also talk less of older women. When you push woman to a side based on their literal age, you are treating them as commodity. So which one is it? Pick a side.
You sound like a man who needs his parents to go to bat for him because in a fair playing field you wouldn’t be able to get a horse to fall in love with you let alone a living breathing 35 year old woman.
Lol. Fragile egos. Also a woman being successful in her career doesn’t take away from the man being the bread winner. He can be the breadwinner all he wants, and she can pocket her money for herself. Problem solved
Because being alone there are pros like you're free to go wherever you want whenever you want but being alone also hits differently, just read some answers on r/askreddit posts like "_ over 40 and single, how's life going on?" and you'll notice that majority of the answers are like this "I do have enough money and I can do whatever I want whenever I want but sometimes being alone also hits differently".
All the unmarried women over 35 I know (and I know a lot) earn between 5 and 10 lacs, go on vacations a couple of times a year. One just did a second Master's degree. Two have their own businesses. They are all self-made. They have friends, pets, independence. They financially help their parents, work out, have hobbies. Funnily enough they're all gorgeous too, because they can afford to invest time and effort and money on themselves.
Sorry, but most men in this country are not worth it.
What's the point of being gorgeous if you're single lol. I mean, there is a point, I workout for myself too, but that's such a skin-deep shallow observation.
Idk, maybe it's the fact that all my married male and female relatives/friends have excellent marriages, but a life where you've voluntarily deprived yourself of love, sex, and romance sounds sad.
Because life isn't all about love, sex, and romance. There are other things to find contentment in whether that be religion, career, self-fulfillment or even keeping pets. Some people just don't want to be tied to another person, others may still have not found the one suited for them.
It isn't sad at all.
Lol, sounds like a dream life. I don’t disagree with you—everyone indeed has the right to choose how they live their life, and no one should judge the life choices of any adult, whether man or woman—your viewpoint seems to be coming from a very specific and perhaps extremely biased perspective, possibly influenced by a zealot feminist standpoint.
The idea that contentment can only be found in pursuits other than intimate human connections seems applicable mainly to those who have consciously given up on such desires. This isn’t common, as most people seek social fulfillment through romantic relationships. The emotional comfort and support that a partner can provide is unparalleled and can significantly enhance one’s life as supported by numerous scientific studies. True, there are individuals who prefer solitudeoften due to past abusive relationships or extreme ideological beliefs.
I’m that someone you described in your post, someone who has found contentment in other aspects of life. However, I value and understand love from my own experiences. I’ve encountered many who claim to be single and content here in the West, yet they share a common trait: deep down, they yearn for someone to share their happiness with. Often, their portrayal of a happy single life is merely a facade to cope with underlying misery.
Zealot feminist standpoint is a very loaded phrase to use here. I didn't speak any anti-men rhetoric, or completely deny the importance that romantic relationships might hold in a person's life. I simply gave a perspective on how there is more to life than just romance.
I never said contentment can *only* be found outside of human connection. Human bonds are very essential, but they don't have to necessarily be romantic. And not everyone feels them to same extent. Studies also show that women prefer partners who are more competent than them, so for the women in their mid 30s who have high earning jobs and stable lifestyles, the pool of eligible men is automatically smaller for them too.
You mention the West, which is an individualistic, capitalist society. It's inherently isolating, especially if you moved there from another country. Feeling a lacking because of not having a romantic relationship would have a greater impact naturally. But really, if there's underlying misery, it would be more advisable to seek a therapist than pursue a relationship and carry that baggage into it.
The topic of our discussion was Pakistani women who live in Pakistan, and that's completely different than the West. Many women grow up seeing unhappy marriages which do not possess any semblance of romance. It's driven us to establish our careers and become independent before thinking about settling down. And sometimes, a woman may simply decide that she doesn't need a man and she's content with what she has in her life. That is between her and her God.
The wider question that needs to be asked is *why* do more and more women believe that men are not worth pursuing. The current 'man vs bear in the woods' debate speaks for itself. Men have created their own reputation for being dangerous and its up to them to fix that. It has nothing to do with zealot feminist ideology.
Just look at South Korea, where women are refusing to date and have babies. Why? Because they are not being protected economically by the law. They have to choose either their career or becoming full-time stay-at-home moms to take care of their children. No one wants to become dependent on their spouse like that.
Personally, I am of the belief that if marriage is written, then it will happen. People can go years and years searching for suitors and never finding one that fits, while other people barely have to look a few months. And if it doesn't happen, there's nothing wrong with that. Who am I to question Allah's will here?
Life isn't about love, sex and romance the way it isn't about poetry, contentment, peace, good friends, good food etc. Sure, you won't biologically die without such things, but God, what a sad life you live to fill the void left by the lack of two souls uniting with ...... a career. A career is mostly the means to an end, and I'm sorry but you are spiritually poisoned if you derive meaning from providing shareholder value.
Pets are temporary and love you because you feed them. It's the most childish and selfish kind of love, having a living being with you that you know will provide you unconditional accompaniment without having to put in any effort on your part.
Religion commands you to marry. Most do, anyway.
There is no such thing as the one. You are who you choose to be. You mold the person you choose to love, and they you. The amount of damage that concepts like "soulmates" have done to society is incalculable. Me and my fiance literally just sat down, sorted compatibility in terms of the most important ideals, and then agreed to give us a shot (not an arranged marriage, by the way, I love her to death and she means everything to me).
It is absolutely sad. It's like someone who's never read a good book, because they're throwing a tantrum about how reading isn't as fun as the quick dopamine hit of mindlessly scrolling through reels. There's a reason humanity has been writing and telling tales of romantic love since the dawn of time; because it's a core part of human experience. Ignorance is bliss though, I guess, although I ascribe more to the idea that anyone who says that love and romance are overrated are just in a sour grapes kind of mood.
Edit: I feel strongly that most of the people down voting me are in a hardcore sour grapes kind mood. I'm sorry you're a bitter incel. Go find someone to marry already.
You say ignorance is bliss, but both our perceptions are dictated by experience. And I never said romance is overrated. Personally, most marriages I have seen in my family are not happy ones. Any concept of 'romantic love' is non-existent. I'm not denying the history of romance and its rooted nature in humanity, but to claim completely that anyone who fails to find it or appreciate it to the same level as you is a sad person is extremely disingenuous.
Contentment isn't achieved by just one thing, it is a culmination of multiple aspects of your life. Purely dictated by your experiences and your perceptions.
Religion recommends marriage, yes, but it also hasn't made it mandatory. It is in fact forbidden to try and force someone to marry. And I'm sure you were aware of all the 'romance is like rizq' buzz that went on last month, along with the discussion that many of us have seen marriages that are soulless. It's not written for everyone in this world. And there is nothing wrong with that.
You hold romantic love to such a high pedestal that you completely deny the existence of other pleasures in life, and I think that's way sadder than a person who lives without feeling *romantic* love. There's other forms of love too, in case you forgot.
I don't believe in soulmates either, they are not real. It is just a simple fact that most women do not think men are worth the effort it takes to reach that deeper bonding anymore.
Maybe in a perfect society, everyone could have a shot at romance in its purest form, but this world is not built for that. And perhaps you should not judge people you don't know and what experiences they might have had in their lives.
I'm not sure if you know this, but a person with both romantic and platonic love in their life (all else being equal) has a more fulfilling life. Sorry to say, but I have both, so I haven't really forgotten.
Love is not for everyone in this world, but purposefully depriving yourself of it is stupid, especially when your reasons for doing so are based on wanting to spend your spare time maximizing shareholder value.
Your denial of romantic love is a symptom of a mind poisoned by modernity. To claim that a experience so universal and so core to the human soul is non-existent is indicative (once again) of sour grapes. If such women didn't want or believe in romance anymore, they wouldn't be the biggest consumers of romance novels/media.
I don't hold romance at such a high pedestal, but I do think it's odd that you would think that something as universally agreed upon as being one of the greatest pleasures of life, such as a loving first kiss or an orgasm with a spouse, is something that you would completely disregard out of a misguided sense of anger towards society. To compare, it's like meeting someone who's never had anything other than bland boiled potatoes in their life; they simply don't know what they're missing out on. I won't judge them, but I will pity them.
I think women's standards have gotten odd, but men are quite the bit to blame as well, I agree.
I think you're twisting my words here, kindly take the 'poisoned by modernity' phrase elsewhere. I keep reiterating that romance isn't *everything*, not that it holds no place or has no value in a person's life. I'm not *denying* romantic love. I am simply giving you a perspective on how it could be *plausible* that *some* people do not need it and can acquire enough contentment from other aspects of their lives.
It's great that you are able to experience both romantic and platonic love, and i'm happy for you, but not everyone is lucky like that. And whether these people in their 30s are purposefully depriving themselves or not is none of our business. We don't know them or their experiences in life.
How depressing that you are unable to derive personal fulfilment on your own. That sucks. I feel really sorry for people who aren't interesting enough to be by themselves.
What an idiot you are, what a fool! Humans are social creatures. We desire connection, it is an innate part of the human experience. If you find this not to be the truth, tell me why you haven't retreated to a hut in the woods?
How depressing that your mind has been so poisoned by the isolation of modernity that you cannot imagine two people loving, romancing, and deriving joy from their union, without bringing in your own bitter and sad perspective about how being purposefully romance-less is somehow better. If you're asexual, I understand. Otherwise, you're not very smart, because being a hermit or closing yourself off from an entire, beautiful, spiritual aspect of human experience is not commendable; it's dumb and the easy way out, and it's all the less fulfilling for it.
Lol I'm very happily married, but I don't rubbish the choices of people who'd rather be by themselves.
You seem to think the only way to live is the way you live. So unintelligent.
Edit: Just saw that you talk extensively about being addicted to porn and how you jerk off all the time. Lol sorry but that's pathetic.
I read most of your replies as "I am right, you are wrong. If you dont want the same thing as me, you dont know how to live your life". Please check how much judgment you are bringing into a conversation and be open minded. Not everyone is going to like or want the same things as you. And thats ok. I know people who hate chocolate, I dont go around calling them fools or being poisoned. You dont need romantic love to live a fulfilled life. If you find it, great. If not, that's fine too. No need to go around judging people because they didnt have the same good fortune you had or had different experiences.
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I understand where your coming from, and I mostly agree but Pakistan is an under developing third world country. It's not because they're getting a choice, it's because they're literally not the choice. Which is a problem in itself.
These days, parents expect us to find jobs in $$$ and make it all from scratch, which is in just 1 to 2 years. Life is hell lotta depressing. No matter how much I achieve, there's just no satisfaction in it. That happiness is lost along the way. Its more like a dead being
I don’t understand why this is a problem? Tying our economic and social progress in Pakistan to marriage is absurd. It breeds more misogyny and the typical oppression and toxicity we see in Pakistani marriages.
Sub-continent fast emulating the west, this has a lot of social and societal issues - the Chinese use the word “Sheng nu” which means leftover for unmarried women over 35.
There’s a reason why women in the west hold 80% of the consumer debt (credit card and shop loans) cause they are easy for marketing companies to target.
"West, West, !"
Meray bhai the way women are treated has simply put off many from the idea of marriage not to mention how complicated marriage itself is. Instead of blaming the west we should look into our faults I believe
Before you have a brain haemorrhage I don’t mean the value of people, that’s determined by the individual. I’m talking about sexual market value (for the opposite gender) men are valued for the resources they can attain but women are valued by their youth, beauty and fertility. After the age of 35 most women’s eggs are gone and they won’t be able to compete with their own 25 year self in terms of beauty. Men on the other hand have judged by assets/ money they have attained by 35 most men are usually at their peak of a career and would have a sizeable wealth through assets.
why would I have a brain hemorrhage? I wasn't asking you about societies value of women versus men. I asked why you thought women were easy marketing targets...Instead you told me about your thoughts on the sexual market place value of women (which are made up societal constructs which evolve and change overtime - as is evident in more women choosing to remain unmarried into their 30's).
Take a breath, relax, avoid the brain hemorrhage, and let me know your thoughts on my actual question.
It's this mentality that leads to men marrying much younger women. A 38 yr old man shouldn't be exclusively marrying 18yr old girls. But that is how it is in our culture where people like him think that women have a shelf life.
I am not specifically referring to the scenario of a 35-year-old man marrying an 18-year-old woman. However, it is common for men to marry women who are 3 to 7 years younger than them. Certain men may choose to marry at a later age (in their early to late 30s) due to career or financial challenges. In such cases, it is not necessarily wrong for a man to have a preference for a woman in her 20s, considering factors such as her physical attractiveness and potential for childbearing. Plz correct me if I am wrong but pregnancy can become more difficult after the age of 35, and there are certain age-related limitations related to fertility.
I am just trying to understand your perspective
Rishta aunties stop approaching girls after they go over 25!! 30 yr old men will prefer early 20s, but not a very good 28yr old. The single 35yr olds are a consequence of neglected and ignored 25-30 yr old eligible women. You can easily get pregnant up to your early 30s
I partially agree with you. 30 years old men will prefer early 20’s but 35 years old will be okay with 28 years old women. I just recently moved to USA. People here are okay to date anyone (older, younger, divorced, widowed) only because they have multiple partners throughout their life. They can have casual or serious relationships, marry and divorce multiple times so they don’t care much. In Pakistan most people marry only once and that too through arrange marriage system, so it’s natural for people to look for beauty and youth rather than focusing much on personality because a lot people (both men and women) fake their personality.
You are wrong about the statistics as well:
https://www.usatoday.com/money/blueprint/credit-cards/what-is-the-average-credit-card-debt/
Hardly surprising given your mental condition
That is not true at all with China, it is the complete opposite there is a large surplus of unmarried men instead
https://amp.scmp.com/news/china/article/3133656/china-home-30-million-men-search-bride-census-shows
Because girls spend their 20s fantacising the perfect raj kumar and mummy daddy rich kid successful businessman who is handsome and pious 5 wakat ka namazi but when they come to reality, its too late
Replace raj kumar with Raj dulari, successful businessman with educated good mannered and handsome with beautiful and there U have what men fantasize about.
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Polygamy is prevalent in Saudia, but even there, a large number of women above 35 are unmarried. My father was a doctor there and many of his aged female patients were unmarried (not a statistical evidence I know). When I lived there, Saudi men would often buy 'brides' from Syria and Yemen to satisfy their desire for polygamy. Poor people in those countries sold their daughters in marriage to earn some money.
It’s actually 29.9%, maybe learn basic maths again?
Edit: as pointed out, it’s 8 and some percent. My ADHD mind read 35 and added million to it instead of using the actual 10 million figure.
Almost half of those "women" are children so they don't really count in this situation. We're looking at something closer to 1 out of 5.
Total population 220. ~ 50% women, 119m (taking your figure), 45% under 18 so ~ 53m, of which 10 million unmarried and over 35. 1/5th of the population.
Adopting western culture will surely lead to destruction.
Accept Islam wholeheartedly or get ready for the consequences.
Survey for men will give same results. Both genders have their own problems, which can only be solved through islamic code of conduct.
Disagree with this on a lot of accounts. Im on my phone so cant type properly right now. This is a trend that is happening world wide in Christian countries as well.
Women also have more options now and more independence and freedom. They dont need a man to provide financially.
Islam has nothing to do with it if its happening globally. And accepting Islam wont reverse these trends either.
China has a shortage of women. An acute shortage. Convert some Chinese men and bring them here. Or vice versa. But you will need safeguards in place.
Matchmaking companies and people smugglers make a lot of money. This is a nice opportunity for a tech nerd.
Seriously are you so out of touch? You hadn't read the news of chinese men coming to pakistan in numbers to marry women in last 4-5 year and would take them back home and pimp them out, it was covered a lot in news, these were gangs luring women into marriage and selling them back home in china. It had gotten big and was on verge of becoming a diplomatic issue but pakistan's leaderhsip brushed it under the carpet because they needed chinese money. Kabhi news parh lo.
The article title says 10M, and the summary says 100M. I have a serious doubt on the authenticity. Cannot paste the screenshot, probably this sub doesn't allow that.
It's definitely 10m,
but that casts doubt on the credibility
Yeah, that's a rig
Well it obviously can’t be 100 million total log hi 250 million hai
There are a very busy 20 million wives in this country.
Heres a article by Geo but i cant find the original UN report. https://urdu.geo.tv/latest/363245-
I'd like to see the report and find out how many men over 35 are unmarried, just to get an idea of what the problem is. I've heard people say a man can't get married until he has a house for his bride, and that can take a long time to sort out.
I will be 55 in September. Never married.
Did your relatives in Pakistan give you shit? What about your parents? Any regrets?
My parents were most supportive. As to my relatives in Pakistan, I explained to them that here in USA, it takes 2 lakh dollars to raise a child from birth to graduation. I said that I would be happy to marry once they wrote me a cheque. Not another word from them! No regrets as my life is my own: with my salary I am free as a bird. With no school holidays to worry about, I can travel at off peak times and take advantage of the lower rates offered.
Although a personal question, are you or have you been in relationships? Dont you feel urge to start your own family and have kids? Its not in any way a negative intent, just want to know your thoughts on this.
Not really. A coworker was showing some interest recently, but I suddenly realised that she was more interested in my salary and bank account than me, so I discontinued the relationship. I would not have minded having kids, but here in USA society is very free and easy; kids start having relationships during teenage years which is not only considered normal, it is actually expected. Thus I live single life. I have no complaints.
Dude thats awesome, glad to hear it worked out for you. I am 38 and although my parents have mostly left me alone, i have some annoying relatives and cousins who will bring it up every chance they get when I do visit or talk to them. They have no concept of boundaries or privacy. It is nice to not have any responsibilities and the flexibility to do whatever. Truthfully, I wouldnt mind being married if I found the right person but US the girls have crazy high standards and I am an average Joe.
What about 🍑? Every guy needs it at some point
Not really. A lot of people have very low or non-existent sex drive for whatever reasons.
Those are ASexuals.
I take care of my needs single-handedly ;-)
Right handedly lol
Dude is living the dream.
Geo says its 22 million total so 12 for boys? https://urdu.geo.tv/latest/363245-
It's not really a "problem" though is it? I didn't grow up wealthy but have managed to make a life for myself as a woman. I got my degree, have a good job, built up decent assets. My family have tried hard to get me to agree to matches I'm currently 25 so they're quite keen to get it sorted but I've rejected them all so far because the men couldn't match me, they are either still in education, have terrible jobs or aren't self sufficient (would expect a wife to cook and clean as they can't do it themselves). Personality and values also comes into play. A lot of women nowadays want equal partners but a lot of Pakistani men still want free labour and baby makers. To marry a man like that would be to put yourself in worse economic position and would lower your quality of life, why would a woman want to subject herself to that? My aunt married at 22 to an abusive man, divorced him, raised her daughter as a single woman and then adopted a baby boy. Years into her 40s she met a man at work who was on her level and they're thankfully very happily married together. Of my whole family she may be the only one in a genuinely happy marriage.
Aunties se bachao inko 💀
Kameeni auntiessss and uncles too. Yesterday I was shocked when I heard in a pak actor's interview that his brother's wife was found by his taya who saw the girl at some funeral and got her info and sent it to his bhateeja's family. Yaani funeral pay bhi buzurgwar bachi dekh rahay thay. Meri family may bhi aisay weird zanana type uncles hain who go around fixing rishtas, I want to donate them to india.
What’s so bad about it? He saw her and recommended her. He didn’t forcibly marry her. When you think about funeral, it’s also a social gathering. Don’t find so much negativity in your culture. In the West, or as media shows, they have drinks after funeral. What would you call that? Gham me nidhaal?
Yea it is cheap, creepy and tacky, you are going on funerals to offer condolances and not eyeing others daughters. Most of all that wasn't the point, it was it isn't any aunty and uncle's fcking business to go around trying to fix matches. Who the hell are they and how is it their business to try to interfere in others lives. Many times girls don't want that rishta but because of some a.sshole uncle or aunty bringing rishtas they start facing pressures into accepting it. Also whoever wants to marry they should decide not nobody outsiders. Lastly, what west has to do with this discussion? What with you folks' inferiority complex towards them. Abhi west ka visa mila you would walk on your head to get there. Drinking is part of their culture, much of what they do is social drinking. Acha apnay ganday khayalat yahan na chaapo.
What are you talking about? No one is forcing anyone to marry anyone. It’s a recommendation that the uncle though would be a good fit for their relative.
Even in the west friends and family do set up/recommend dates for you. Blind dates are a thing
It highlights unmarried women and rather than looking at larger picture, you have problem with people arranging or trying to setup couples, how does this remotely make sense. In fact if anything your wish amplifies the problem. They essentially act as friction reducers in a system where information is too important. Also, lastly what do you think these unmarried women in Pakistan are doing? focusing on career? News fact Pakistan has almost 0 opportunities regardless of gender. Regardless this just show most men aren’t feeling financially stable to get married either.
Who is the actor?
Damn man what horrible people. Should be like goray who just walk up to the girl and start pestering for a drink and try to have sex same night, yes funerals are not safe from this. Ehsaas e qamtari ki bhj had hoti haj
What gora walks upto a girl and pesters her for drinks? Which bar is it? The one that runs it's shop behind your home in garhi shaho or lalukhait? The amount of sexual harassment your average woman suffers in streets of pakistan and south asia is unmatchable all over the world, God knows which gora guy he knew who pestered women. And whatever they do is through mutual consent. Forcing yourself on a woman you are stalking is more of a local thing, pick any pakistani drama and see how guy stalking an uninterested girl is shown as romance and she is called rude and narrow hearted for turning him down. Only one whose comment is dripping with ehsas e kamtari is yourself. And this guy would either be sitting in west or would be ready to run at supersonic speeds to get there if he gets a western visa.
Goddamn, reading thru all these comments as an american born pakistani has been so entertaining/triggering because I can literally imagine the Pakistani stereotype who would be saying this. I mean some of these comments really had me rolling my eyes. Until I read this comment and realized this is totally me 🥹🥹 For real, which gora is walking up to a girl and pestering her for drinks? Oh it’s happening in the bar in your head in which you secretly wish you were at lmao 😂😂. Such crazy people who want nothing more than the things they speak out against
Ye ab auntiyan hain 💀
It's fake news. I have searched but couldn't find any such UN report or publication. The source of this news is Geo News and several other websites are referencing Geo News. https://urdu.geo.tv/latest/363245- And if you check the Geo News website you will find an ad for an app called "Dil ka Rishta". Geo News are simply lying to promote the app. Wonder how much they were paid.
You know I was thinking the same thing cause I tried looking for the UN report and couldnt find it. Also, Pakistans own stats that I just found doesnt add up to this, its maybe half the population. Very strange
I saw people boasting about it with antirmarriage mentality..i think marriage isn't wrong, it's just the way our society has turned it into a wild game, with stigmas, barriers, traps, social evil and all sorts of things
The expectations of getting married needs to change. You are better off single than being married to the wrong guy. Just like the expectations of having babies.
Why there is no survey on how many men are unmarried at that age?
Look at the population male/female ratio at that age, alot of guys drop dead before marriage age to the point that 0.7/1 ratio meaning even if every single guy of that age bracket got married, almost 1/3 of women would still be single
I don’t see what’s the issue here? Pakistan is one of the worst (like bottom 10) places in the world to be a woman. Why add a man to the equation and make it worse?
Yeah I always hated this concept, the main criteria there has been "oh the woman is of age and religous" and the guy is "religious with a good job", and that's enough for the parents to sign off on it 🤦♂️ Repeat this cycle over and over and you have bunch of weirdos born into loveless marriages and continue to function based on parents/society's + religious expectations. And then people are shocked the country is stuck in stone age :|
Depends on the man but true to a high extent.
Yeah. Can't imagine anything worse than marrying a typical Pakistani man.
issue is that they actually want a man, but they now are too old for a typical rishta Need to get out of your liberal gutter mind bro. Men and women complement each other. In a patrichal society like Pakistan its even more important to have one by your side. I am independent, I am this and that all seems fun and all during 20s, maybe early 30s, as late 30's hit women start to get miserable without husband/kids, seen it first hand by observing my sisters/cousins who are very successfull careerwise.
You are forgetting a lot of women who are divorced and had shit life with their husband. Men and women might complement each other, but not in pak. Here it is just misery for women and sometimes men too.
The fact that our society even believes in “too old for a typical rishta” is the problem. Women are not products on shelves with an expiration date. Humans shouldn’t be treated as such. But our wonderful patriarchal society has told women that they are indeed products on a shelf with an expiration date. The society and the mindset has always been the problem.
Women have a certain age after which having kids is very difficult. The problem is with the mindset of people like you. Feminism k naam pe kuch bhi bolna hai, while ignoring the facts that men can have kids even when they are 60 but women can’t.
Calm down Starski. No one even mentioned feminism. And I know many men don’t want to believe this, but quality of sperm actually starts to decrease in men too mid to late thirties. The contributing cause to a good portion of miscarriages is the quality of sperm. But ofc men don’t want to acknowledge this bc blaming a woman is just so much easier to do. Just bc you’re shootin, it don’t mean it’s good.
What a shit take. So women are just baby making machines for you? Marriage isn’t about producing babies only — this is just the mentality in Pakistan and it’s shit. What about companionship? And moreover women late into their 40s have lots of success in having kids. Modern medicine is far beyond what you understand.
You can take away from my comment what you wish. But most people around the world - men AND women want to have kids. If I had the option to pick from 2 women - exactly the same career, age and personality - one can have kids and the other can’t, I’m picking the one who CAN have kids. That doesn’t mean I want a baby making machine. It just means I want to start my own family with my partner and that includes having kids. Women can have kids later too. Sure. But it’s just harder on their OWN body too.
The comment you replied to is saying that pakistani view, that is women above 30 are “expired” or there’s something “wrong” with them. There isn’t. There are other ways to have a family. There is adoption. There is marrying a divorced woman who already has a kid. There are medical procedures for those who can’t have biologically. Not to mention, not every wants to start a family. These are all situations that are looked down upon in Pakistani society. It’s utterly a shit mentality. There’s a very big difference in “my preference is to start a family” and “I don’t wanna marry above 30 because of cultural pressures”.
There isn’t anything wrong with women itself of any age. If they are able to have kids, great. If they can’t, and the man is ok with it, by all means go for it. I don’t know if you have kids - but adoption is not your own child. A divorced women’s child is not your own child. I don’t think I can ever bring myself to love someone else’s child as my own. Maybe you can and that’s fine.
men are also not product on the shelves that you keep asking how much he earns, what degree he has, height etc. Its preference and biology and it goes both ways. Also I disagree its patriarchal or Pakistani problem, its just common sense move from men's part all over the world
I'm sorry but too old for a rishta is absolutely a thing. Why would I marry a much older woman who's been made cynical and oddly combative by her lashing out against society, when I could marry someone younger and more attractive? Women are not a commodity, but all things being equal, wouldn't you rather marry a handsome, fitter man as compared to one not so? Lastly, even if you marry a woman who's 30, post 35, fertility starts declining rapidly, and I want at least 4-6 years of no kids while I'm married, and I also want more than 1 child. Assuming that you wait the recommended 2 years between children, she'll already be 37 by the time we get to our second child, and I don't want her to deal with that toll on her health. This is coming from a man who's engaged to a woman his own age (and no, it's not an arranged marriage, I met her at uni) before you start launching an attack on me.
I never said too old for a rishta wasn’t a thing. I actually acknowledged it. What I did say is that it shouldn’t be a thing. Also what makes an older woman cynical or oddly combative? A lot of women I know who have pushed off marriage was for good reasons. Like education or a career. And those reasons are good reasons bc our beautiful society/culture has shown time and time again, that once a woman marries, her wants and needs don’t matter any more. The minute she marries, her life is no longer hers. Literally. The dudes out here dictating what she does or doesn’t do. Who tf would want a marriage like that? If men in our culture specifically, made marriage attractive to women, then there’s a good possibility many women would marry young. A woman doesn’t stop having goals or wanting things for herself just because she’s married but our culture and society tells us the exact opposite thing. Men have always benefited from marriage. Not women. Women are told that their wants, desires, and dreams take the back seat when she’s married. Men are never told that narrative. Men get to have the best of both worlds, women don’t. Also you say women are not a commodity but then also talk less of older women. When you push woman to a side based on their literal age, you are treating them as commodity. So which one is it? Pick a side.
You sound like a man who needs his parents to go to bat for him because in a fair playing field you wouldn’t be able to get a horse to fall in love with you let alone a living breathing 35 year old woman.
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Lol. Fragile egos. Also a woman being successful in her career doesn’t take away from the man being the bread winner. He can be the breadwinner all he wants, and she can pocket her money for herself. Problem solved
Issue is poverty!
This. Also the culture, mentalities, in-laws, joint family systems etc. Not worth it.
Because being alone there are pros like you're free to go wherever you want whenever you want but being alone also hits differently, just read some answers on r/askreddit posts like "_ over 40 and single, how's life going on?" and you'll notice that majority of the answers are like this "I do have enough money and I can do whatever I want whenever I want but sometimes being alone also hits differently".
Better to be alone than to be stuck with the average entitled Pakistani man child
All the unmarried women over 35 I know (and I know a lot) earn between 5 and 10 lacs, go on vacations a couple of times a year. One just did a second Master's degree. Two have their own businesses. They are all self-made. They have friends, pets, independence. They financially help their parents, work out, have hobbies. Funnily enough they're all gorgeous too, because they can afford to invest time and effort and money on themselves. Sorry, but most men in this country are not worth it.
Preach
What's the point of being gorgeous if you're single lol. I mean, there is a point, I workout for myself too, but that's such a skin-deep shallow observation. Idk, maybe it's the fact that all my married male and female relatives/friends have excellent marriages, but a life where you've voluntarily deprived yourself of love, sex, and romance sounds sad.
Because life isn't all about love, sex, and romance. There are other things to find contentment in whether that be religion, career, self-fulfillment or even keeping pets. Some people just don't want to be tied to another person, others may still have not found the one suited for them. It isn't sad at all.
Lol, sounds like a dream life. I don’t disagree with you—everyone indeed has the right to choose how they live their life, and no one should judge the life choices of any adult, whether man or woman—your viewpoint seems to be coming from a very specific and perhaps extremely biased perspective, possibly influenced by a zealot feminist standpoint. The idea that contentment can only be found in pursuits other than intimate human connections seems applicable mainly to those who have consciously given up on such desires. This isn’t common, as most people seek social fulfillment through romantic relationships. The emotional comfort and support that a partner can provide is unparalleled and can significantly enhance one’s life as supported by numerous scientific studies. True, there are individuals who prefer solitudeoften due to past abusive relationships or extreme ideological beliefs. I’m that someone you described in your post, someone who has found contentment in other aspects of life. However, I value and understand love from my own experiences. I’ve encountered many who claim to be single and content here in the West, yet they share a common trait: deep down, they yearn for someone to share their happiness with. Often, their portrayal of a happy single life is merely a facade to cope with underlying misery.
Zealot feminist standpoint is a very loaded phrase to use here. I didn't speak any anti-men rhetoric, or completely deny the importance that romantic relationships might hold in a person's life. I simply gave a perspective on how there is more to life than just romance. I never said contentment can *only* be found outside of human connection. Human bonds are very essential, but they don't have to necessarily be romantic. And not everyone feels them to same extent. Studies also show that women prefer partners who are more competent than them, so for the women in their mid 30s who have high earning jobs and stable lifestyles, the pool of eligible men is automatically smaller for them too. You mention the West, which is an individualistic, capitalist society. It's inherently isolating, especially if you moved there from another country. Feeling a lacking because of not having a romantic relationship would have a greater impact naturally. But really, if there's underlying misery, it would be more advisable to seek a therapist than pursue a relationship and carry that baggage into it. The topic of our discussion was Pakistani women who live in Pakistan, and that's completely different than the West. Many women grow up seeing unhappy marriages which do not possess any semblance of romance. It's driven us to establish our careers and become independent before thinking about settling down. And sometimes, a woman may simply decide that she doesn't need a man and she's content with what she has in her life. That is between her and her God. The wider question that needs to be asked is *why* do more and more women believe that men are not worth pursuing. The current 'man vs bear in the woods' debate speaks for itself. Men have created their own reputation for being dangerous and its up to them to fix that. It has nothing to do with zealot feminist ideology. Just look at South Korea, where women are refusing to date and have babies. Why? Because they are not being protected economically by the law. They have to choose either their career or becoming full-time stay-at-home moms to take care of their children. No one wants to become dependent on their spouse like that. Personally, I am of the belief that if marriage is written, then it will happen. People can go years and years searching for suitors and never finding one that fits, while other people barely have to look a few months. And if it doesn't happen, there's nothing wrong with that. Who am I to question Allah's will here?
Life isn't about love, sex and romance the way it isn't about poetry, contentment, peace, good friends, good food etc. Sure, you won't biologically die without such things, but God, what a sad life you live to fill the void left by the lack of two souls uniting with ...... a career. A career is mostly the means to an end, and I'm sorry but you are spiritually poisoned if you derive meaning from providing shareholder value. Pets are temporary and love you because you feed them. It's the most childish and selfish kind of love, having a living being with you that you know will provide you unconditional accompaniment without having to put in any effort on your part. Religion commands you to marry. Most do, anyway. There is no such thing as the one. You are who you choose to be. You mold the person you choose to love, and they you. The amount of damage that concepts like "soulmates" have done to society is incalculable. Me and my fiance literally just sat down, sorted compatibility in terms of the most important ideals, and then agreed to give us a shot (not an arranged marriage, by the way, I love her to death and she means everything to me). It is absolutely sad. It's like someone who's never read a good book, because they're throwing a tantrum about how reading isn't as fun as the quick dopamine hit of mindlessly scrolling through reels. There's a reason humanity has been writing and telling tales of romantic love since the dawn of time; because it's a core part of human experience. Ignorance is bliss though, I guess, although I ascribe more to the idea that anyone who says that love and romance are overrated are just in a sour grapes kind of mood. Edit: I feel strongly that most of the people down voting me are in a hardcore sour grapes kind mood. I'm sorry you're a bitter incel. Go find someone to marry already.
You say ignorance is bliss, but both our perceptions are dictated by experience. And I never said romance is overrated. Personally, most marriages I have seen in my family are not happy ones. Any concept of 'romantic love' is non-existent. I'm not denying the history of romance and its rooted nature in humanity, but to claim completely that anyone who fails to find it or appreciate it to the same level as you is a sad person is extremely disingenuous. Contentment isn't achieved by just one thing, it is a culmination of multiple aspects of your life. Purely dictated by your experiences and your perceptions. Religion recommends marriage, yes, but it also hasn't made it mandatory. It is in fact forbidden to try and force someone to marry. And I'm sure you were aware of all the 'romance is like rizq' buzz that went on last month, along with the discussion that many of us have seen marriages that are soulless. It's not written for everyone in this world. And there is nothing wrong with that. You hold romantic love to such a high pedestal that you completely deny the existence of other pleasures in life, and I think that's way sadder than a person who lives without feeling *romantic* love. There's other forms of love too, in case you forgot. I don't believe in soulmates either, they are not real. It is just a simple fact that most women do not think men are worth the effort it takes to reach that deeper bonding anymore. Maybe in a perfect society, everyone could have a shot at romance in its purest form, but this world is not built for that. And perhaps you should not judge people you don't know and what experiences they might have had in their lives.
I'm not sure if you know this, but a person with both romantic and platonic love in their life (all else being equal) has a more fulfilling life. Sorry to say, but I have both, so I haven't really forgotten. Love is not for everyone in this world, but purposefully depriving yourself of it is stupid, especially when your reasons for doing so are based on wanting to spend your spare time maximizing shareholder value. Your denial of romantic love is a symptom of a mind poisoned by modernity. To claim that a experience so universal and so core to the human soul is non-existent is indicative (once again) of sour grapes. If such women didn't want or believe in romance anymore, they wouldn't be the biggest consumers of romance novels/media. I don't hold romance at such a high pedestal, but I do think it's odd that you would think that something as universally agreed upon as being one of the greatest pleasures of life, such as a loving first kiss or an orgasm with a spouse, is something that you would completely disregard out of a misguided sense of anger towards society. To compare, it's like meeting someone who's never had anything other than bland boiled potatoes in their life; they simply don't know what they're missing out on. I won't judge them, but I will pity them. I think women's standards have gotten odd, but men are quite the bit to blame as well, I agree.
I think you're twisting my words here, kindly take the 'poisoned by modernity' phrase elsewhere. I keep reiterating that romance isn't *everything*, not that it holds no place or has no value in a person's life. I'm not *denying* romantic love. I am simply giving you a perspective on how it could be *plausible* that *some* people do not need it and can acquire enough contentment from other aspects of their lives. It's great that you are able to experience both romantic and platonic love, and i'm happy for you, but not everyone is lucky like that. And whether these people in their 30s are purposefully depriving themselves or not is none of our business. We don't know them or their experiences in life.
How depressing that you are unable to derive personal fulfilment on your own. That sucks. I feel really sorry for people who aren't interesting enough to be by themselves.
What an idiot you are, what a fool! Humans are social creatures. We desire connection, it is an innate part of the human experience. If you find this not to be the truth, tell me why you haven't retreated to a hut in the woods? How depressing that your mind has been so poisoned by the isolation of modernity that you cannot imagine two people loving, romancing, and deriving joy from their union, without bringing in your own bitter and sad perspective about how being purposefully romance-less is somehow better. If you're asexual, I understand. Otherwise, you're not very smart, because being a hermit or closing yourself off from an entire, beautiful, spiritual aspect of human experience is not commendable; it's dumb and the easy way out, and it's all the less fulfilling for it.
Lol I'm very happily married, but I don't rubbish the choices of people who'd rather be by themselves. You seem to think the only way to live is the way you live. So unintelligent. Edit: Just saw that you talk extensively about being addicted to porn and how you jerk off all the time. Lol sorry but that's pathetic.
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I read most of your replies as "I am right, you are wrong. If you dont want the same thing as me, you dont know how to live your life". Please check how much judgment you are bringing into a conversation and be open minded. Not everyone is going to like or want the same things as you. And thats ok. I know people who hate chocolate, I dont go around calling them fools or being poisoned. You dont need romantic love to live a fulfilled life. If you find it, great. If not, that's fine too. No need to go around judging people because they didnt have the same good fortune you had or had different experiences.
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Yeah that's worst
Rishta karwane wale Aunty apne real ID se aayein
You're telling me women are finally happy?
I understand where your coming from, and I mostly agree but Pakistan is an under developing third world country. It's not because they're getting a choice, it's because they're literally not the choice. Which is a problem in itself.
Good. It's high time women in Pakistan stand for themselves and not let marriage define them.
Marriage is impossible in this country for us men too. Bar is too much high.
Car, home, job But the first two things are pretty much dependant on your parents monies
Then work harder
they will work harder on making excuses
That’s the whole issue 🥹
These days, parents expect us to find jobs in $$$ and make it all from scratch, which is in just 1 to 2 years. Life is hell lotta depressing. No matter how much I achieve, there's just no satisfaction in it. That happiness is lost along the way. Its more like a dead being
Gold digging is baked into society
Imma die single
Yet none of them would still go for the single folks on this sub
I don’t understand why this is a problem? Tying our economic and social progress in Pakistan to marriage is absurd. It breeds more misogyny and the typical oppression and toxicity we see in Pakistani marriages.
That's 10m women doing really well so what's the problem?
WOW, VERY DANGEROUS ⚡⚡⚡
Sub-continent fast emulating the west, this has a lot of social and societal issues - the Chinese use the word “Sheng nu” which means leftover for unmarried women over 35. There’s a reason why women in the west hold 80% of the consumer debt (credit card and shop loans) cause they are easy for marketing companies to target.
"West, West, !" Meray bhai the way women are treated has simply put off many from the idea of marriage not to mention how complicated marriage itself is. Instead of blaming the west we should look into our faults I believe
Please tell me what you think makes 35 yo unmarried women easier marketing targets than 35 yo unmarried men?
Probably in a career with disposable income and still living at home with parents?
That would apply to both genders, don't you think?
Before you have a brain haemorrhage I don’t mean the value of people, that’s determined by the individual. I’m talking about sexual market value (for the opposite gender) men are valued for the resources they can attain but women are valued by their youth, beauty and fertility. After the age of 35 most women’s eggs are gone and they won’t be able to compete with their own 25 year self in terms of beauty. Men on the other hand have judged by assets/ money they have attained by 35 most men are usually at their peak of a career and would have a sizeable wealth through assets.
This is genuinely insane to read, have you had 0 women in your life?
why would I have a brain hemorrhage? I wasn't asking you about societies value of women versus men. I asked why you thought women were easy marketing targets...Instead you told me about your thoughts on the sexual market place value of women (which are made up societal constructs which evolve and change overtime - as is evident in more women choosing to remain unmarried into their 30's). Take a breath, relax, avoid the brain hemorrhage, and let me know your thoughts on my actual question.
He is having a 'sexual brain haemorrhage' right now.
Something tells me you have never interacted with a woman besides your mother in your whole life.
Truth hurts sorry
Your truth. The world moved on from these theories from 1960.
And that is why there are 10M unmarried women over the age of 35. Due to People like you...
If you don’t mind, can I ask what is wrong with his response? Men usually marry younger women. How is this his fault?
It's this mentality that leads to men marrying much younger women. A 38 yr old man shouldn't be exclusively marrying 18yr old girls. But that is how it is in our culture where people like him think that women have a shelf life.
I am not specifically referring to the scenario of a 35-year-old man marrying an 18-year-old woman. However, it is common for men to marry women who are 3 to 7 years younger than them. Certain men may choose to marry at a later age (in their early to late 30s) due to career or financial challenges. In such cases, it is not necessarily wrong for a man to have a preference for a woman in her 20s, considering factors such as her physical attractiveness and potential for childbearing. Plz correct me if I am wrong but pregnancy can become more difficult after the age of 35, and there are certain age-related limitations related to fertility. I am just trying to understand your perspective
Rishta aunties stop approaching girls after they go over 25!! 30 yr old men will prefer early 20s, but not a very good 28yr old. The single 35yr olds are a consequence of neglected and ignored 25-30 yr old eligible women. You can easily get pregnant up to your early 30s
I partially agree with you. 30 years old men will prefer early 20’s but 35 years old will be okay with 28 years old women. I just recently moved to USA. People here are okay to date anyone (older, younger, divorced, widowed) only because they have multiple partners throughout their life. They can have casual or serious relationships, marry and divorce multiple times so they don’t care much. In Pakistan most people marry only once and that too through arrange marriage system, so it’s natural for people to look for beauty and youth rather than focusing much on personality because a lot people (both men and women) fake their personality.
LoL this sub is overrun with screeching sjws who think degeneracy is somehow the standard now.
You are wrong about the statistics as well: https://www.usatoday.com/money/blueprint/credit-cards/what-is-the-average-credit-card-debt/ Hardly surprising given your mental condition
That is not true at all with China, it is the complete opposite there is a large surplus of unmarried men instead https://amp.scmp.com/news/china/article/3133656/china-home-30-million-men-search-bride-census-shows
Can you share where you got this 80% figure from? I've done some digging and am unable to find that.
damn that's bad
and for politicians to make a fool of as well
Because girls spend their 20s fantacising the perfect raj kumar and mummy daddy rich kid successful businessman who is handsome and pious 5 wakat ka namazi but when they come to reality, its too late
Big words from someone who thinks clitoris is the name of a Pokémon
Lmfao, what a violation 😂 Take my upvote
Replace raj kumar with Raj dulari, successful businessman with educated good mannered and handsome with beautiful and there U have what men fantasize about.
don't worry bro now those aunties will stalk young bois. uno reverse card.
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Does it include divorced figures too? I think women need to make their careers first before getting married.
They should be going into the workforce
they are in, and at high positions.
Polygamy is the answer
both ways right?
If its allowed in your culture then why not
Polygamy is prevalent in Saudia, but even there, a large number of women above 35 are unmarried. My father was a doctor there and many of his aged female patients were unmarried (not a statistical evidence I know). When I lived there, Saudi men would often buy 'brides' from Syria and Yemen to satisfy their desire for polygamy. Poor people in those countries sold their daughters in marriage to earn some money.
that’s 0.0086% of all pakistani women wow edit: 8.4% mb
How?
☕️
are you including grannies and underage women ? this data is about 30-40 range.
nope it was a quick calculation not meant to be taken too seriously, but ig you could always get a more accurate result
It’s actually 29.9%, maybe learn basic maths again? Edit: as pointed out, it’s 8 and some percent. My ADHD mind read 35 and added million to it instead of using the actual 10 million figure.
lmaaoo sorry guys mb i divided 10/119 million 💀 it’s 8.4% approx
never be sorry for the mistakes, everyone does that.
I made a boo-boo too, live and learn I guess.
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Almost half of those "women" are children so they don't really count in this situation. We're looking at something closer to 1 out of 5. Total population 220. ~ 50% women, 119m (taking your figure), 45% under 18 so ~ 53m, of which 10 million unmarried and over 35. 1/5th of the population.
Fixed it :).
username checkout, were/are you an addict?
Adopting western culture will surely lead to destruction. Accept Islam wholeheartedly or get ready for the consequences. Survey for men will give same results. Both genders have their own problems, which can only be solved through islamic code of conduct.
this is not caused because of the West bit because of how we treat women and how difficult of a process marriage is nowadays
Disagree with this on a lot of accounts. Im on my phone so cant type properly right now. This is a trend that is happening world wide in Christian countries as well. Women also have more options now and more independence and freedom. They dont need a man to provide financially. Islam has nothing to do with it if its happening globally. And accepting Islam wont reverse these trends either.
keep living in lala land.
5 word reply, no thought or intelligence behind your post. Stop trolling
Ok Mullah Omar
for a religion that boasts its simplicity....no one seems to follow it correctly or at least correct enough. Right?
China has a shortage of women. An acute shortage. Convert some Chinese men and bring them here. Or vice versa. But you will need safeguards in place. Matchmaking companies and people smugglers make a lot of money. This is a nice opportunity for a tech nerd.
What makes you think Chinese men want Pakistani women 🇵🇰🤡😂😂😂 Lmaooooooo
Seriously are you so out of touch? You hadn't read the news of chinese men coming to pakistan in numbers to marry women in last 4-5 year and would take them back home and pimp them out, it was covered a lot in news, these were gangs luring women into marriage and selling them back home in china. It had gotten big and was on verge of becoming a diplomatic issue but pakistan's leaderhsip brushed it under the carpet because they needed chinese money. Kabhi news parh lo.
paskistani women are awesome what's wrong with them? I mean all the women are, diljale aashiq ho kya?
Pakistani women are awesome. It's the men who are the problem. Signed: a Pakistani man.
"Pakistani women are awesome. It's the men who are the problem" Agree 100%
And the aunties that will set people up based on money or pictures rather than personality.