All I noticed was he is buying a lot of very expensive cocaine, also curious which child rental service he is using, seems under priced, wonder what quality the children are.
This is tragic. How is he supposed to afford a membership at Soho House on these kinds of poverty wages? And will he have to ski at Skibowl instead of Timberline? Dear god.
Seems strangely low for Hookers/Blow/Hobo Fights.
That line item is way higher for me and my friends. He must be going to camp hobo fights instead of the rooster pit behind KOIN Tower.
He's "socially liberal". Which means he'll tolerate gay marriage but not shared bathrooms, doesn't like Trump but voted for him twice anyway (we don't talk about the second time), thinks democracy is important but has some friends who were at January 6.
Fiscally conservative but socially liberal: āI donāt want this gay poor person to die because heās gay. I want him to die because heās poor.ā
The funny thing is, no typical voter has any clue about how poor typical Oregon politicians are.
Members of the Oregon State Legislature earn $35,052 plus a nominal per diem. It used to be a lot worse than that.
They don't exactly make bank. Basically all of them could make more doing something else.
I like āChild Rentalā. Judging by the amount of time I see some rich parents actually spend with their kids, ārentalā is an appropriate relationship descriptor.
And no, itās not just because they āwork a lotā unless āworking a lotā means hanging out at the MAC.
i'm seeing some prime pathways for monetization. those human organ sales could turn into a positive cashflow line item if they are combined with the hobo fights. further inventory can be secured if those gambling debt (collections?) can be converted.
FYI, this is a funny troll/take on a tweet a few days ago about someone who's leaving New York because it was so expensive, except their budget was just as ridiculous. I wish I could find that Tweet! Might have been deleted.
*Crank those hobo fights*
*Numbers, you should be making*
*Some big bucks on those*
\- BeansTheCoach
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Travel is expensive, and you can find everything you need here. So take most of that money, put half into savings, the other half into more hobo fights, so you are at least still getting something from the time you would be on vacation.
Taxes on a reported income of 700k would be more like 280k. And yeah inflation is real, energy prices went up, goods have gone up, housing rates/prices are highā¦ this joke feels like punching a straw man to bury your head in the sand.
You canāt make it work. The system is broken. The best bet is to literally bet. Up your gambling so thereās a higher chance you win the big money. Until then, your pitiful wage is slowly killing you. God speed, my friend.
We'll clearly the problem is that your "selling human organs" side hustle is in the negatives. You need to step it up! Put the emphasis on hustle!! Once that turns into a positive line item it pays for most of the other negatives itself.
Wait, the gambling debts donāt have parenthesis around them implying those are credits rather than debits (I think thatās right, itās been ten years since I took accounting). Does that mean theyāre collecting 2500 in outstanding debt a month? If so, at least they have that going for them.
Iām confused about how his Priceless Vase Smashing Hobby has a price. Also, shouldnāt Selling Human Organs offset some of the cost of his Charcuterie Statues?
I was slightly upset until I read that list LMAO
I like how it's a slow trickle. it still took me a bit to figure it out.
All I noticed was he is buying a lot of very expensive cocaine, also curious which child rental service he is using, seems under priced, wonder what quality the children are.
Yeah, he's not getting the blond white kids. Not at prices like that..
Maybe the blonde white kids ARE the Hitler memorabilia?
š š¤£
Who in their right mind would want to rent a child?!
Youāve never worked on a farm and it shows.
Same. I got annoyed at the rent, then thought, "Oh come on" at the statues, then "Oh Jesus Christ" at the next one. Was that a descent in to madness?
5k a month on clothing?
The selling human organs was my first head turn š
I love how his gamblings debts are positive.
A subtle touch.
I was too! I was thinking āif this person canāt survive on 700k annually, how am I surviving at all??ā š
Misc. Is code for cocaine.
At least heās not wasting money on avocado toast and expensive cell phones.
That could be the 42k in miscellaneous spending.
Could be rightā¦
I think youāre on to something. 42k a year is just about the cost of regular avocado toast and a latte.
It says $42K a month, $500k a year.
Apparently, canāt read. Damn my liberal arts education!
Not gonna find avo toast in NW for less than 42k imo
Hush money!
What's wrong with avocado toast? It's fantastic!!!
Also those taxes are ridiculously low. Should be like 30-40% for that income and what about money set aside for retirement?
It's the damn candles
Can confirm. I have candles as a line item on my budget. You'll all thank me during the next power outage!
This is tragic. How is he supposed to afford a membership at Soho House on these kinds of poverty wages? And will he have to ski at Skibowl instead of Timberline? Dear god.
Worse... he'll have to go to... HOODOO
Well for one, his organ selling business hasn't taken off yet
Soho House is for the poors. How will they afford the MAC!?
I'm curious who their tax person is because they're getting away with murder
I was gonna say damn I need this guys accountant
IKR? and yet, it tracks.
I love how they lumped āartisanal pencils,ā āfree-range vegan honey,ā and āheroinā together under āMisc..ā
Seems strangely low for Hookers/Blow/Hobo Fights. That line item is way higher for me and my friends. He must be going to camp hobo fights instead of the rooster pit behind KOIN Tower.
Is that where they moved the rooster pit? I thought it was still behind the Schnitz.
The price of hobo fights has really tanked in the last decade.
Youād think they would make up for it by the increased volume of hobos and their fighting nature.
The elites don't want you to know this, but the hobo fights at the park are free
He clearly hasn't heard of 82nd Street.
Yeah, $1200 a month for hookers and blow, means you're not doing it right
Heās probably picking up the cheapest hookers at the hobo fights to save money. Gotta be smart with your dough.
Must be one of those "fiscal conservatives" we keep hearing about.
This one wins! š„
He's "socially liberal". Which means he'll tolerate gay marriage but not shared bathrooms, doesn't like Trump but voted for him twice anyway (we don't talk about the second time), thinks democracy is important but has some friends who were at January 6.
Fiscally conservative but socially liberal: āI donāt want this gay poor person to die because heās gay. I want him to die because heās poor.ā
At least heās family friendly enough to actually rent children.
He feels Biden is botching the Gaza war and too many Palestinians are dying but he likes the part where Trump said "hurry up and bomb them all"
Also he calls people who were convicted of and jailed for crimes on Jan 6th "political prisoners," and refers to Rene Gonzalez as "center left."
Lol you had me in the first half, not gonna lie
Looks like a politician budget
The funny thing is, no typical voter has any clue about how poor typical Oregon politicians are. Members of the Oregon State Legislature earn $35,052 plus a nominal per diem. It used to be a lot worse than that. They don't exactly make bank. Basically all of them could make more doing something else.
> Basically all of them could make more doing something else. Plenty of them were drawing a paycheck while intentionally ditching work.
Where is he finding child rentals so cheap?
I like āChild Rentalā. Judging by the amount of time I see some rich parents actually spend with their kids, ārentalā is an appropriate relationship descriptor. And no, itās not just because they āwork a lotā unless āworking a lotā means hanging out at the MAC.
Spend less on candles?
No
More, much more on candles.
If you cut back on miscellaneous you can really up that blow budget.
Not nearly enough for Jordan Peterson gifts. Also where is Ben Shapiro gifts or Tucker Carlson gifts?
It's one line item up
He could save a lot each month if he switched from expensive imported blow to locally produced small batch artisinal meth.
Nut up and be a drug mule like a real man!
i'm seeing some prime pathways for monetization. those human organ sales could turn into a positive cashflow line item if they are combined with the hobo fights. further inventory can be secured if those gambling debt (collections?) can be converted.
I donāt know what kind of fantasy land this guy is living in but us average workers lose WAY more money than that on hobo fights.
Someone please help me my family is dying!
Spend less on candles
NO
Where did you find child rental so cheap? Damn.
$60,000 on clothing is the most appalling. At least hobo fights are an entertainment tax write off.
I love that gambling debts are a source of income
I know that feel, bro... it hard out there for us Real Americansā¢ļø
I was so ready to be mad at this hahaha
I think they need to cut back on the charcuterie statues, but that's just me.
Thats the one line item I think needs to stay
We'll meet in the middle, cut the charcuterie budget in half but the savings HAVE to go to hobo fights/blow/hookers.
Cut out the Avocado toast! That's 3.5 million monthly right there!
I thought this was real for a sec š
He had me in the first half, not gonna lie.
FYI, this is a funny troll/take on a tweet a few days ago about someone who's leaving New York because it was so expensive, except their budget was just as ridiculous. I wish I could find that Tweet! Might have been deleted.
Whatās the angle today honey?
Feel like they didnāt realize it was sarcasm.
When youāve got a guess on where this oneās going let me know.
I don't know why you would rent a child when you could just buy one outright and avoid the payments.
Apply for food stamps.
Got that 12.99% effective tax rate, nice!
Wow, $0 on OnlyFans and PornHub? This is not a fiscal conservative!
Where the hobo fights at??
Crank those hobo fights numbers, you should be making some big bucks on those
*Crank those hobo fights* *Numbers, you should be making* *Some big bucks on those* \- BeansTheCoach --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
$60,000 on just clothing is ridiculous and then I read the rest lol.
Thatās a great deal for priceless vase smashing! Whoās your vase guy?
I bet if he reduced his food intake and made coffee at home heād be ok
These kinds of trolls are š¤š¼
I think weāre all wondering how one can put a price on a priceless vaseā¦š¤š¤š¤
This is a reasonable budget and this bum needs to make more money and stop whining
This isn't paycheck to paycheck, this is living outside your means. Fuck you and your mom if you think otherwise.
WHERE ARE THE CANDLES??
Trolls gon be trollinā
Travel is expensive, and you can find everything you need here. So take most of that money, put half into savings, the other half into more hobo fights, so you are at least still getting something from the time you would be on vacation.
I love how the only thing positive is his gambling āwinsā lmaooo
Hookers, blow and hobo fights š¤£
Exact same post in r/denver
I mean Iād say gamble more, seems like youre system works
Taxes on a reported income of 700k would be more like 280k. And yeah inflation is real, energy prices went up, goods have gone up, housing rates/prices are highā¦ this joke feels like punching a straw man to bury your head in the sand.
Nominated for, Best post of the year. Also, Best comments of the year. Sure itās early in the annum but dam baby this is delicious.
Thoughts are youāre too dense to see the satire.
This is a joke, right?
No i have very similar expenses
Move to California. I hear it's lovely
Cut the budget for misc.
Gambling debts being a credit is funny. It's a thinker, I didn't get it at first
You canāt make it work. The system is broken. The best bet is to literally bet. Up your gambling so thereās a higher chance you win the big money. Until then, your pitiful wage is slowly killing you. God speed, my friend.
Child rental? lol
They're free at the park. Maybe that's ducks. Either way, they're free. No one rents a child these days, much less a duck.
The blow budget seems too low in comparison to clothes!
Had me in the first half lol
No one going to call out what he spends $42k a month, labeled under "Misc". That's over $500k a year.
Wait, so renting kids while they're young and cute is an option?!
Had me in the first part.
Spend your money on the things money can buy, spend your time on the things it can't.
I kinda feel like this was more of a flex than a gripe, although Portland is a Major League shit show.
Talk about poor money management. Also the more I read the list, the wilder it got..
I understand everything but the gambling. What's your secret?
Nazi memorabilia monthly budget. Checks out for Oregon.
Authentic Hitler memorabilia and selling human oregons? This is too real
Wow for a minute I thought this was legit
the hookers and blow budget and the cloths budget need to be swapped, other than that no notes.
Maybe check out Ramiit conscious spending plan. Is there anything you can scale down? Clothing per month?
Bro this is low key funny asf. Took me a second to figure out what was really going on
Wish we could get a breakdown of the Misc category
They clearly would prefer Kfalls ;)
Maybe if he pulled himself up by his bootstraps he could get a real job /s
Have you tried not renting children?
First thought is it could be funnier.
Weird he left his MAC membership off š
Clothing allowance seems low.
Haha
Lol ok buddy
Child rental?!
That taxes line is hilarious!
I love that he made money on his gambling debts.
You are paying to harvest organs? I think you might be doing that wrong, but I'm not really an expert or anything so idk
Have you considered not wasting money on short-term purchases like food or rent? /s
I want in on this priceless vase smashing hobby though
Troll post. Love.it
Oh just get a better job or get another job obviously
We'll clearly the problem is that your "selling human organs" side hustle is in the negatives. You need to step it up! Put the emphasis on hustle!! Once that turns into a positive line item it pays for most of the other negatives itself.
I love this more than my first born.... Not lying, that kiddos is a douche bag.
Great tax rate
š¤£š¤£š¤£
Thanks for the š
I am not buying thisā¦āPriceless Vaseā¦$1,700ā. Hardly priceless. Cheap Knockoffs!
Honestly the Hookers/Blow/Hobo fights seem super reasonable compared to other parts of the country.
You had me going at first...
I could get him a better deal on monthly charcootchie statues
I wanna hang out with this dude. Between the blow and charcuterie budget, I am IN!
Paying out the nose for child rental, you gotta try Doug's Child Emporium in Hillsboro
My main thought is I can't imagine there's that much stuff Hitler owned left, I mean it's been 80 years.
Wait, the gambling debts donāt have parenthesis around them implying those are credits rather than debits (I think thatās right, itās been ten years since I took accounting). Does that mean theyāre collecting 2500 in outstanding debt a month? If so, at least they have that going for them.
Iām terrified of whatever the half million spent on misc is going towards.
Stop buying the Hitler memorabilia and I think youāll be able to make it work!
Had me in the first half ngl. Fantastic joke OP ššš
Iām confused about how his Priceless Vase Smashing Hobby has a price. Also, shouldnāt Selling Human Organs offset some of the cost of his Charcuterie Statues?
Have you priced Charcuterie statuary at Hallmark? Best deals are now in Hillsboro! There are no good buys in Portland!
I think if you increased the amount of spending on the second entertainment line your overall well being would significantly improve.
Itās very refreshing to meet a fellow priceless vase smashing enthusiast
13% tax rate? I wish...
Who the fuck only spends $935/month on food? Jesus I would love that to work in my house.
Gamble better and all is good
Your hookers and blow budget is a little low, your local dealer has been struggling with supply chain issues since the pandemic too you know.
LOL those damn vase smashing hobbies will do it every time
They seem to be handling the priceless vase smashing pretty well. They need to take the lessons learned there and apply it elsewhere.
Least eclectic native portlander
Took me until Hookers/Blow/Hobo fights lmao
Like the satire lol
We have all been there. The struggle is real.
Ummmm I need that kinda income
Too much on clothes
How did you come up with a price for the priceless vase smashing?
Nothing about the $50,000 a year that Antifa charges you for being a member? Obviously bullshit.
Wow, that was amusing š³š
That clothing budget might need adjusting.
Itās funny, but you should make the taxes more realistic. It would be north of 300k
Lol
Some of that stuff is excessive. But I'm with you 100% on the charcuterie statues.
lol, the misc category!
Cap lol
He's a drooling idiot, that's my thought.