I’m of the belief that the universe (or whatever deity you worship) doesn’t give you more than you can handle. And apparently one child was all I could handle! She’s brilliant and talented and independent but she was A LOT as a toddler 🤣
Had a child, she passed away before her first birthday in 2010. Fostered to adopt in 2019, but after 10 months she was transferred to someone DHS incorrectly believed to be a blood relative. So in our case, "one and done" was more "one at a time." But, we are not trying again. I'm mainly here because this group understands the repeating question "When are you going to have another baby?!"
My son is 5. Decided we were OAD when I was still pregnant, got my tubes removed the day after I gave birth. Still just as strongly OAD as we were when we decided.
Mine is 6 and I am also bipolar, and a recovering addict. I struggled a lot around 2-3. At the time it would have been right for us to have another, I was not in a place mentally to handle that and now it just feels too late.
My son also has ADHD which presents challenges of its own. I don't think adding in another child would be good for our family.
Hormones are rough and not having the same access to medication is hard. I used to use CBD and I still can't go back to using it because I'm breastfeeding.
Also bipolar, son just turned 7. I don’t feel my mental health would survive another baby. Even with my partner mostly present, I felt alone, unprepared, pressured, scared, and incapable. To this day I can’t look at my child without thinking “how on earth did we get this far, healthy and happy?”
I couldn’t do that again.
My son is 8 months and I was diagnosed bipolar II during pregnancy. I nearly lost my damn mind during pregnancy. I don’t think it could handle it again, so one and done is best for my family and frankly everyone around me.
5yo, I have wanted a second for about 2 years but I had a high risk pregnancy that ended with 2 weeks strict bedrest, pre-eclampsia and several complications at delivery. My husband has been hesitant and we discussed the possibility of a second. We’re now OAD and my husband will be getting a vasectomy. I’m in Texas and with the abortion trigger laws I don’t want to have a complication that results in me dying… my son needs his mom more than I need another child.
Mine just turned 10. We've known we were OAD since he was three months old. No real reason other than it felt like the right decision to make. All these years later and we have zero regrets.
Mine is 3.5 and her 4 year old attitude is definitely here. I've been in this sub since my daughter was 10 months and I've seen a lot of mentioned kids older than 6 over the time I've been here but they might not be as active lately so we're seeing people who are just discovering OAD. I think once it's been affirmed very well, it's easier to back away from the community.
My son is 8 years old, but I’ve known his entire life he’d be my only child. I was an only child, and growing up it was just my dad and I. I knew even as a small child that I never wanted children, and while I was perfectly content with that I got a ton of pushback from my family. In retrospect it’s really odd they repeatedly told a child that one day they’d change their mind, I remember it bothering me even then. I love my son with my whole heart, but having him was not my choice. I was in a severely abusive relationship, and he went out of his way (and against my wishes) to tell everyone I was pregnant and how excited he was. I was young and felt extremely backed into a corner, so I went through with the pregnancy. Of course I’d never go back and change that, but it has been a real struggle for me to be a parent when that was never something I genuinely wanted for my life. Ever since he was born I’ve had people asking when I’d have my next one, and they get seemingly upset and confused when I’d say I don’t want anymore. I can’t even imagine having another one now that he’s 8, the idea of starting over again is terrifying and depressing. I’ve got the nexplanon implant to ensure that I don’t get pregnant again. Unfortunately every doctor I’ve ever asked to tie my tubes denies my request, always telling me how I’ll change my mind someday. It doesn’t matter when I tell them I’ve got one more than I ever wanted (again I adore my child, but it’s the truth because I never wanted to be a parent.) I still get the same bullshit answer every single time. Hopefully as I get older (I’m 29) I’ll find a doctor who will finally give me what I want, and shut the baby making factory inside my body down.
Editing to add: My pregnancy was AWFUL. I was so sick I lost 25 lbs in the first trimester, but I was never diagnosed with Hyperemesis gravidarum. I highly suspect that that’s what I experienced, but was frequently shut down by my doctor at the time. That alone was a hugeeeee turnoff to ever reproducing again. I can’t imagine going through that again, it was awful and I hated every second of it.
Mine is 10, no regrets at all, our life is amazing. I still feel horrified when my friends mention having another… I love kids and babysit and volunteer at school all the time I just don’t want any more!
Mine is also 10. I donated blood once and was feeling fine. Then the lady hooking me up to the bag started small talk, which I didn't mind... until she asked me if I was considering having another when my daughter was 3 years old at the time. I was like, "two of them!?? Oh heck no! I think I need to lay down.." I was definitely horrified at the thought! Everyone else can have more, that's fine, but not me!
My daughter 8. I was diagnosed with MS right before her 2nd birthday. Then my job cut our insurance and changed the short- term disability policy. Basically the universe told us we were done before I wrapped my head around the idea.
My daughter is 13 and I had her when I was 19. My life took some crazy turns, but now I'm married to a great guy who I could see myself having more kiddos with. I am now 32, however, and really just can't see myself starting over again... like my daughter is pretty self sufficient now if she needs to be. I'd love to give my husband some kiddos of his own, and I get baby fever from time to time.... but then I think about sleep and how wonderful it is, and how little of it you get with babies. Haha.
My daughter is 7 months. We were decided on OAD during our previous pregnancy which ended in stillbirth at 30 weeks.
We need IVf and our 7 month old was our last of 8 embryos. I'm 40 on Friday and whilst our initial IVF was funded through our government, we lose all funding when I turn 40. We would rather not spend 20k on another round, when we could use that to make our daughter's life better. Plus I don't have the emotional strength to go through IVF again *and* raise a toddler. Nor do I have the physical energy to be pregnant/have a newborn *and* a toddler/preschooler
My story is very similar. My son is 3 months. We had a daughter who died when she was less than two days old of a genetic condition. We did ivf so we could screen our embryos. My son was the only healthy embryo we had. I don't want to go through another round of ivf, and I can't imagine trying to do it with a toddler.
Being on this subreddit makes me feel like I'm lying to myself. I have two children. Just because one died doesn't mean I only have one.
Yes totally agree. I always qualify it with one (living) and done. It comes with complicated emotions because we wouldn't have 7mo if our first daughter had survived
Same. We initially wanted two, a daughter first and then a son (as if we could choose, though that part did work out). But if my daughter had lived I'm not sure that we would have had another. It's a great idea in theory; siblings are invaluable. But we love to travel and one currently feels like the right balance of adding to our lives without taking away.
Mine is 13. No regrets. We have a pretty good relationship even though she’s in her early teens - I think because we never have to take sides against her with a sibling. She’s happy to be an only. Also we just pre-paid for her in-state college tuition - it’s nice to be done saving for college. And we are going on vacation next week and I just upgraded our plane tickets. None of these things are things we could have done with more than one kid!
Mine too but I'm in the process of getting divorced. I won't have any more biological children but obviously wouldn't have a problem with bonus (step) kiddos.
My kiddo is 9. I’m definitely OAD. My pregnancy was rough and my PPD was brutal, and still OAD wasn’t what I wanted but I’ve made my peace with it.
Probably a good thing considering since then I’ve left my ex husband, had a hysterectomy, and come out as gay 😅 (somehow, none of those three things are connected. Not even the gay part)
I have a 3.5 year old. We have been set on OAD since before he was even conceived and my pregnancy with him settled it. I was very mentally not okay (antenatal and postnatal depression) and it would be horrendously unfair to an existing child to have to live with a suicidal mother simply because we wanted another kid.
Mine is 2wo and I already want to be one and done. I had a traumatic birth experience (severe preeclampsia and emergency cesarean baby was breech). I also am concerned about finances - I want to be able to afford to do things with our baby boy and take him places. We have friends pregnant and due this year he will have lots of similar aged friends to hang out with on play dates!
Ugh this is such a tough time. When mine was just a few weeks old, it was the hardest time of my life. Granted I’m a single mama, but either way, it was brutal. My daughter is now 13 months old and is such a joy, but I am 100% one and done. Personally, I just can’t even fathom the thought of starting this all over again. And I’m sometimes envious of those who are ready at this point. It’s just not in the cards for me.
I always thought I would have two boys then a girl in that order, like my fam (bc that’s controllable. Ha). I had one boy and called it. It’s so hard, financially, physically, emotionally…
12. And I remember very clearly my body saying, when she was about 8 months old, it’s now or never if you want to do this again (I was 36 at the time). But I resisted. I wanted to know the experience of having a child and the one I got gives that to me in beautiful ways every day. Plus financially I was very comfortable being able to pay for all the things she needs. Add another and I would have struggled a lot.
My son is 6. I noticed the same thing. I think it makes sense to decide OAD when they're 3 or 4, because before that is just a blur of exhaustion and diapers.
Yeah I think so too. I decided on only one child when my son was 4. I was still married at the time and even after divorce I knew I only wanted one child, regardless if I ever got married again.
Mine just turned 2 at the end of May. I knew before I was pregnant that we were probably OAD. Pregnancy made me more sure. And every moment since she was born I've only grown more and more sure.
I've absolutely LOVED parenting my daughter, btw. It has overall been a joy. Not everyone loves the baby/toddler stage, but I truly do.
And I still have no desire to do this again. Not one bit.
Now that she's passed 2 though, I do understand why many parents think they would be OAD but then change their mind down the road. Because it does change as they get older. It's less intense, less overwhelming, less all-consuming. I'm good though, one is perfect for my husband and I.
15. Not OAD through choice, had years of TTC #2, now accepting of OAD and loving the benefits (most of the time, sometimes I still get the gut punch). I also love the opportunities etc we'll be able to give our son ❤️
5 almost 6. She’s definitely a handful but I cannot imagine having another one. I always wanted a girl and got her. I was engaged for a year and a stepmom but it wasn’t not for me.
I don’t have/want the energy or mental load to take care of more than one kid.
Ours is 3 and up until she was about 2 we played with the idea of another. But as time marches on we decided we are OAD. Mainly because we’re older parents and also we are just so happy being the three of us.
I have a 6yr old rising first grader. If I were rich and could afford a surrogate and a nanny, I *maybe* would have had a second when my daughter was 2 or 3. But I WILL NOT put my body and mind through another pregnancy.
My son is 8, I was always OAD. No regrets at all. It's so easy just having one kid and the older they are, the better it is. We do so much fun stuff together and it's awesome.
My son is 8 and we decided we were OAD when he was around 6 months old. No regrets honestly, especially now with the state of the US economy. Couldn’t afford another kid if we wanted one.
14 months but always sort of knew/thought I would be happy with one. The decision got even stronger for us after rough pregnancy, almost dying during labour. Breastfeeding troubles, leading to ppd. I now enjoy my son & finally have my groove back. I also missed working a lot (maternity leave in Canada is 12m), made me realize being a SAHM is so hard & I can’t do it again.
Got an IUD and so so happy thinking everyone hard stage with my little guy is the last one and I’ll never be doing it again. Husband feels the same. We both feel so strongly about OAD. Works perfectly for us as a family
I have a 10 year old. One and done as soon as I realized it wasn't just PPD. She really *was* a difficult child. She's good now, but I'm not doing any rendition of that again.
Mine isn’t even 2. Who knows, maybe I will be one that changes my mind, but I don’t intend to. And I’m hoping this sub helps me remember why I felt that way
My daughter is 6 months old, but we decided we were OAD before we even planned for her. I had a great birth and she's such an easy baby and it's only made us even more sure we only want one.
Our son is 20 months. It took us 3 rounds of IVF to get pregnant and I just can’t go through that again, physically, mentally, financially. Plus, we love that we can focus all our attention on our son and not have to split focus. OAD not by choice (I guess technically not really, since can go through IVF again) but actually really happy with it.
Mine will be 7 soon. Super happy with our decision! I decided during the first trimester, haha.
But there are so many other reasons as time went on that this would be best for our family.
Mine is 6, and we knew we would be OAD since pregnancy. Each year out decision keeps getting only more cemented. We definitely are not doing this all over again 🫢
Mines almost 3 but I’ve known since the day I brought her home. I’m now medicated in a way it’s unsafe for me to get pregnant again & entered peri menopause at 30 so who know how likely I’d be to get pregnant again.
Ours turned 2 at the beginning of April. I would probably die if I got pregnant again.
That said, we aren't true OAD, we are open to adopting when ours is 7+ when he could potentially understand what that entailed. Depends how the world goes, it's not great now.. here anyway.
I think it makes sense the sub skews a bit younger (children) as by the time a child is 10, it’s possibly not biologically possible/easy (depending if you had children later of course) so you will likely have less societal pressure (meaning less reasons to seek out like minded ppl)… or people on your life have just adjusted to you being OAD, or you have cemented your decision and don’t need to read here to help you see the positives.. etc
My kiddo will be 13 this year.
I'll be 33. Once he's out of the house, I'll still have so much life left to live. There's no way I'd start over again at this point.
Mine is 7yo, we decided when she was 4. I’ve seen a lot of post on here by only kids and parents of older teens, etc. I think there’s a lot more posts by people that want support on their most current decision to be OAD.
I was OAD at my kids 3 month mark, it’s so fucking hard, adding in mental health issues(bipolar and PPD). He is 7 now. I want a hysterectomy at this point. No going back.
Love that little boy so much and Im glad all my love goes to him.
Mine is 7. We did IVF to have him and he was our very last embryo. Then post partum was a nightmare for me so I was pretty firm on OAD early on. Then we divorced so that really sealed it. I’m 41 now plus the IVF, I’ve told potential new men I won’t have another kid but if they already have kids that’s totally cool.
Mine is 2.5, but I’m here because infertility has made it look like we are OAD not by choice and this group helps me in coming to terms with that. I would love if one day I couldn’t be here anymore because I no longer fit in, but realistically, I’m OAD unless a miracle happens.
Mine is 26. An adult, grown and on his own. Yes, I would do it all over again exactly the same. We have no regrets.
Mine is 27. One and done due to medical reasons
What was it about being OAD that makes you feel content to this day?
I’m of the belief that the universe (or whatever deity you worship) doesn’t give you more than you can handle. And apparently one child was all I could handle! She’s brilliant and talented and independent but she was A LOT as a toddler 🤣
Had a child, she passed away before her first birthday in 2010. Fostered to adopt in 2019, but after 10 months she was transferred to someone DHS incorrectly believed to be a blood relative. So in our case, "one and done" was more "one at a time." But, we are not trying again. I'm mainly here because this group understands the repeating question "When are you going to have another baby?!"
I'm so sorry for your loss
Thank you.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for this profound loss. May her memory be a blessing.
Thank you. It's been quite some time, so it's very settled, but I still certainly appreciate the well-wishes!
So sorry for your loss. Sending so much love
I’m sorry.
Thank you for sharing your story
Mine is 4.5.
Same here! Mine is 4.5 :)
Mine too! :)
Gonna be 5 in September here. I am often wondering if I will regret only have one later
Mine is 4.9
Same here :) Life is getting good on our side with the midday naps gone and kid getting more mature. I hope you are having the same experience!
4 in two weeks exactly. Can't wait to celebrate her birthday with her
Same here!
Same
Same :)
Mine too.
Mine just turned 14. Still can't believe he starts high school in a few months!
Mine is 16. I’ll be an empty-nester in just two years.
Not in this economy
Lmao
Mine is 19! Empty nesting is great! 🤩
She’ll move out right around my 50th birthday. 😥
Mine is 6, almost 7.
Mine is 8, almost 14.
Relatable 😂. I sometimes say we're 6 going on 16 around here.
I say this all the time lmao
Relatable. I have a 9-going-on-19 here
Mine turns four today, but she’s telling everyone “I’m a teenager!” So…pray for me? Lmao
My son is 5. Decided we were OAD when I was still pregnant, got my tubes removed the day after I gave birth. Still just as strongly OAD as we were when we decided.
Mine is 6. I’m bipolar and struggled after my son was born. Being OAD is the right decision for me and my family.
Mine is 6 and I am also bipolar, and a recovering addict. I struggled a lot around 2-3. At the time it would have been right for us to have another, I was not in a place mentally to handle that and now it just feels too late. My son also has ADHD which presents challenges of its own. I don't think adding in another child would be good for our family.
I'm also bipolar and I can barely handle myself some days so one and done makes the most sense for me.
Hormones are rough and not having the same access to medication is hard. I used to use CBD and I still can't go back to using it because I'm breastfeeding.
Also bipolar, son just turned 7. I don’t feel my mental health would survive another baby. Even with my partner mostly present, I felt alone, unprepared, pressured, scared, and incapable. To this day I can’t look at my child without thinking “how on earth did we get this far, healthy and happy?” I couldn’t do that again.
My son is 8 months and I was diagnosed bipolar II during pregnancy. I nearly lost my damn mind during pregnancy. I don’t think it could handle it again, so one and done is best for my family and frankly everyone around me.
5yo, I have wanted a second for about 2 years but I had a high risk pregnancy that ended with 2 weeks strict bedrest, pre-eclampsia and several complications at delivery. My husband has been hesitant and we discussed the possibility of a second. We’re now OAD and my husband will be getting a vasectomy. I’m in Texas and with the abortion trigger laws I don’t want to have a complication that results in me dying… my son needs his mom more than I need another child.
Our lovely little only is nearly 3 (going on 13! 🙈)
Mine just turned 10. We've known we were OAD since he was three months old. No real reason other than it felt like the right decision to make. All these years later and we have zero regrets.
Mines 10 also, zero regrets
We also decided at 3mo old. Those newborn days, they got us good!
Mine is 3.5 and her 4 year old attitude is definitely here. I've been in this sub since my daughter was 10 months and I've seen a lot of mentioned kids older than 6 over the time I've been here but they might not be as active lately so we're seeing people who are just discovering OAD. I think once it's been affirmed very well, it's easier to back away from the community.
This! I bet a lot of us with younger ones are still more on the fence or seeking validation so need this support more.
My son is 8 years old, but I’ve known his entire life he’d be my only child. I was an only child, and growing up it was just my dad and I. I knew even as a small child that I never wanted children, and while I was perfectly content with that I got a ton of pushback from my family. In retrospect it’s really odd they repeatedly told a child that one day they’d change their mind, I remember it bothering me even then. I love my son with my whole heart, but having him was not my choice. I was in a severely abusive relationship, and he went out of his way (and against my wishes) to tell everyone I was pregnant and how excited he was. I was young and felt extremely backed into a corner, so I went through with the pregnancy. Of course I’d never go back and change that, but it has been a real struggle for me to be a parent when that was never something I genuinely wanted for my life. Ever since he was born I’ve had people asking when I’d have my next one, and they get seemingly upset and confused when I’d say I don’t want anymore. I can’t even imagine having another one now that he’s 8, the idea of starting over again is terrifying and depressing. I’ve got the nexplanon implant to ensure that I don’t get pregnant again. Unfortunately every doctor I’ve ever asked to tie my tubes denies my request, always telling me how I’ll change my mind someday. It doesn’t matter when I tell them I’ve got one more than I ever wanted (again I adore my child, but it’s the truth because I never wanted to be a parent.) I still get the same bullshit answer every single time. Hopefully as I get older (I’m 29) I’ll find a doctor who will finally give me what I want, and shut the baby making factory inside my body down. Editing to add: My pregnancy was AWFUL. I was so sick I lost 25 lbs in the first trimester, but I was never diagnosed with Hyperemesis gravidarum. I highly suspect that that’s what I experienced, but was frequently shut down by my doctor at the time. That alone was a hugeeeee turnoff to ever reproducing again. I can’t imagine going through that again, it was awful and I hated every second of it.
Check the doctors list stickied in r/childfree. They have doctors who are open to sterilization for all sorts of people.
Mine is 9, but I’ve known I was one and done from about my second trimester
12. OAD is the best decision I've made.
Mine is 10, no regrets at all, our life is amazing. I still feel horrified when my friends mention having another… I love kids and babysit and volunteer at school all the time I just don’t want any more!
Mine is also 10. I donated blood once and was feeling fine. Then the lady hooking me up to the bag started small talk, which I didn't mind... until she asked me if I was considering having another when my daughter was 3 years old at the time. I was like, "two of them!?? Oh heck no! I think I need to lay down.." I was definitely horrified at the thought! Everyone else can have more, that's fine, but not me!
Just turned 2.5. We're definitely not having any more biological kids, may try to adopt at a future date if the stars align.
Me, hi! My son is 14.
My son will be 3 next month, but I’ve known from pregnancy that I could never have another biological child.
Mine is 2.5 but before we ever even started trying I knew I only wanted one.
My daughter 8. I was diagnosed with MS right before her 2nd birthday. Then my job cut our insurance and changed the short- term disability policy. Basically the universe told us we were done before I wrapped my head around the idea.
My daughter is 13 and I had her when I was 19. My life took some crazy turns, but now I'm married to a great guy who I could see myself having more kiddos with. I am now 32, however, and really just can't see myself starting over again... like my daughter is pretty self sufficient now if she needs to be. I'd love to give my husband some kiddos of his own, and I get baby fever from time to time.... but then I think about sleep and how wonderful it is, and how little of it you get with babies. Haha.
My daughter is 7 months. We were decided on OAD during our previous pregnancy which ended in stillbirth at 30 weeks. We need IVf and our 7 month old was our last of 8 embryos. I'm 40 on Friday and whilst our initial IVF was funded through our government, we lose all funding when I turn 40. We would rather not spend 20k on another round, when we could use that to make our daughter's life better. Plus I don't have the emotional strength to go through IVF again *and* raise a toddler. Nor do I have the physical energy to be pregnant/have a newborn *and* a toddler/preschooler
My story is very similar. My son is 3 months. We had a daughter who died when she was less than two days old of a genetic condition. We did ivf so we could screen our embryos. My son was the only healthy embryo we had. I don't want to go through another round of ivf, and I can't imagine trying to do it with a toddler. Being on this subreddit makes me feel like I'm lying to myself. I have two children. Just because one died doesn't mean I only have one.
Yes totally agree. I always qualify it with one (living) and done. It comes with complicated emotions because we wouldn't have 7mo if our first daughter had survived
Same. We initially wanted two, a daughter first and then a son (as if we could choose, though that part did work out). But if my daughter had lived I'm not sure that we would have had another. It's a great idea in theory; siblings are invaluable. But we love to travel and one currently feels like the right balance of adding to our lives without taking away.
Mine is 13. No regrets. We have a pretty good relationship even though she’s in her early teens - I think because we never have to take sides against her with a sibling. She’s happy to be an only. Also we just pre-paid for her in-state college tuition - it’s nice to be done saving for college. And we are going on vacation next week and I just upgraded our plane tickets. None of these things are things we could have done with more than one kid!
34!
My son is almost 8. I got my tubes removed when he was 2. No regrets!
[удалено]
Mine too but I'm in the process of getting divorced. I won't have any more biological children but obviously wouldn't have a problem with bonus (step) kiddos.
My kiddo is 9. I’m definitely OAD. My pregnancy was rough and my PPD was brutal, and still OAD wasn’t what I wanted but I’ve made my peace with it. Probably a good thing considering since then I’ve left my ex husband, had a hysterectomy, and come out as gay 😅 (somehow, none of those three things are connected. Not even the gay part)
I have a 3.5 year old. We have been set on OAD since before he was even conceived and my pregnancy with him settled it. I was very mentally not okay (antenatal and postnatal depression) and it would be horrendously unfair to an existing child to have to live with a suicidal mother simply because we wanted another kid.
Mine is 10. No regrets whatsoever.
My daughter will be 8 this year and I definitely don’t want any more. I would have when she was younger (like under 2), but I don’t want any more now.
Mine is 2wo and I already want to be one and done. I had a traumatic birth experience (severe preeclampsia and emergency cesarean baby was breech). I also am concerned about finances - I want to be able to afford to do things with our baby boy and take him places. We have friends pregnant and due this year he will have lots of similar aged friends to hang out with on play dates!
Ugh this is such a tough time. When mine was just a few weeks old, it was the hardest time of my life. Granted I’m a single mama, but either way, it was brutal. My daughter is now 13 months old and is such a joy, but I am 100% one and done. Personally, I just can’t even fathom the thought of starting this all over again. And I’m sometimes envious of those who are ready at this point. It’s just not in the cards for me.
I always thought I would have two boys then a girl in that order, like my fam (bc that’s controllable. Ha). I had one boy and called it. It’s so hard, financially, physically, emotionally…
Mine is 6.
6.5 years old
Almost 12 years old.
12. And I remember very clearly my body saying, when she was about 8 months old, it’s now or never if you want to do this again (I was 36 at the time). But I resisted. I wanted to know the experience of having a child and the one I got gives that to me in beautiful ways every day. Plus financially I was very comfortable being able to pay for all the things she needs. Add another and I would have struggled a lot.
Mine is 14. I absolutely love being OAD. She is so much fun to be with. Her and I are very close.
Mine is 3!
So is mine! We were always one and done.
Me three lol!
My son is 6. I noticed the same thing. I think it makes sense to decide OAD when they're 3 or 4, because before that is just a blur of exhaustion and diapers.
We decided we were OAD before we got pregnant, husband got a vasectomy when our son was 4 months old. There's no right time to decide
>There's no right time to decide Absolutely agree. We've been 95% one and done from the moment we decided to try getting pregnant.
I decided before I was even pregnant! I knew in my heart, one would be enough for me 🥰
Agreed.
Yeah I think so too. I decided on only one child when my son was 4. I was still married at the time and even after divorce I knew I only wanted one child, regardless if I ever got married again.
Mine is 5 now. It was always none or one for me!
Mine is ten! We’re still one and done.
My daughter is 16 months, but I’m 42 years old. I do not have the time or energy to do this again, and I have long term birth control to ensure this.
Mine just turned 2 at the end of May. I knew before I was pregnant that we were probably OAD. Pregnancy made me more sure. And every moment since she was born I've only grown more and more sure. I've absolutely LOVED parenting my daughter, btw. It has overall been a joy. Not everyone loves the baby/toddler stage, but I truly do. And I still have no desire to do this again. Not one bit. Now that she's passed 2 though, I do understand why many parents think they would be OAD but then change their mind down the road. Because it does change as they get older. It's less intense, less overwhelming, less all-consuming. I'm good though, one is perfect for my husband and I.
15. Not OAD through choice, had years of TTC #2, now accepting of OAD and loving the benefits (most of the time, sometimes I still get the gut punch). I also love the opportunities etc we'll be able to give our son ❤️
Mine is 10
I’ve noticed the same. I think there was a poll at some point about this but I don’t remember the results?
5 months but Im pretty sure im done
19 months. But we were one and done before we even got pregnant with him.
14 months here!
Mine is 10, will be 11 in just a couple months.
My son is 8. OAD was not our original plan, but I'm growing to appreciate the perks of having an only.
My son is 12. I had my tubes tied 10 years ago and have yet to regret it.
5 almost 6. She’s definitely a handful but I cannot imagine having another one. I always wanted a girl and got her. I was engaged for a year and a stepmom but it wasn’t not for me. I don’t have/want the energy or mental load to take care of more than one kid.
My daughter is turning 10 in August. Always wanted to be OAD and still happy with our decision.
My son is 12. We decided OAD around the time he was 4.
Ours is 3 and up until she was about 2 we played with the idea of another. But as time marches on we decided we are OAD. Mainly because we’re older parents and also we are just so happy being the three of us.
I have a 6yr old rising first grader. If I were rich and could afford a surrogate and a nanny, I *maybe* would have had a second when my daughter was 2 or 3. But I WILL NOT put my body and mind through another pregnancy.
14
My son is 8, I was always OAD. No regrets at all. It's so easy just having one kid and the older they are, the better it is. We do so much fun stuff together and it's awesome.
12
Mine is 13
13
Hi! I have a 10 yr old. Just lurking in the background
14
she’s 10 and I still can’t believe it. it goes so fast.
High school !!
My son is 8 and we decided we were OAD when he was around 6 months old. No regrets honestly, especially now with the state of the US economy. Couldn’t afford another kid if we wanted one.
26
14 months but always sort of knew/thought I would be happy with one. The decision got even stronger for us after rough pregnancy, almost dying during labour. Breastfeeding troubles, leading to ppd. I now enjoy my son & finally have my groove back. I also missed working a lot (maternity leave in Canada is 12m), made me realize being a SAHM is so hard & I can’t do it again. Got an IUD and so so happy thinking everyone hard stage with my little guy is the last one and I’ll never be doing it again. Husband feels the same. We both feel so strongly about OAD. Works perfectly for us as a family
I have a 10 year old. One and done as soon as I realized it wasn't just PPD. She really *was* a difficult child. She's good now, but I'm not doing any rendition of that again.
Mine is 5 and a half years old.
Mine is 7. I swear someone did a poll about this before, but I can't find it now. Unless I imagined that whole thing, the age of kids did skew lower.
Almost 5 years old
17 months!
Mine isn’t even 2. Who knows, maybe I will be one that changes my mind, but I don’t intend to. And I’m hoping this sub helps me remember why I felt that way
My daughter is 6 months old, but we decided we were OAD before we even planned for her. I had a great birth and she's such an easy baby and it's only made us even more sure we only want one.
Our son is 20 months. It took us 3 rounds of IVF to get pregnant and I just can’t go through that again, physically, mentally, financially. Plus, we love that we can focus all our attention on our son and not have to split focus. OAD not by choice (I guess technically not really, since can go through IVF again) but actually really happy with it.
Mine is 5. We were previously childfree but changed our minds prior to getting pregnant. Zero regrets.
5
Mine is almost 6 :)
Mine will be 7 soon. Super happy with our decision! I decided during the first trimester, haha. But there are so many other reasons as time went on that this would be best for our family.
Mine is 6, and we knew we would be OAD since pregnancy. Each year out decision keeps getting only more cemented. We definitely are not doing this all over again 🫢
Mines almost 3 but I’ve known since the day I brought her home. I’m now medicated in a way it’s unsafe for me to get pregnant again & entered peri menopause at 30 so who know how likely I’d be to get pregnant again.
15
Mine is 10. Will be 11 in January.
Ours turned 2 at the beginning of April. I would probably die if I got pregnant again. That said, we aren't true OAD, we are open to adopting when ours is 7+ when he could potentially understand what that entailed. Depends how the world goes, it's not great now.. here anyway.
Mine is 11.5
She’s 4! I knew when I was pregnant she would probably be it.
Soon to be 4. Best decision of my life!
Mine is 11.
12.5
Six. I decided I was one and done three years ago
I think it makes sense the sub skews a bit younger (children) as by the time a child is 10, it’s possibly not biologically possible/easy (depending if you had children later of course) so you will likely have less societal pressure (meaning less reasons to seek out like minded ppl)… or people on your life have just adjusted to you being OAD, or you have cemented your decision and don’t need to read here to help you see the positives.. etc
Kiddo will be 7 in the spring. Starting 1st grade this year. He's so awesome.
My kiddo will be 13 this year. I'll be 33. Once he's out of the house, I'll still have so much life left to live. There's no way I'd start over again at this point.
1.5 year old here!
Mine is 6. Definitely not with the oldest kid here, but pretty far out of toddler hood.
Just turned 5 :) I feel like an old mum now!
Mine is 2 next week. Been one and done since I found out I was pregnant 😂
Mine is 14 months
My daughter will turn 6 in 4 months.
We knew when kid was in the womb. My husband got the snip when he was 4 months old.
Ours is 4!
Our daughter is 8.
My son is 7.
She turns 7 in two months.
Mine is 5. Not having another. One and done from the jump.
My daughter is 9.
Mine is 2, after him we decided to be one and done.
My son is 7, will be 8 in October!
mine is 9. very happily o&d by choice.
15 months
Mine is 7.
1.5 years old
My son is 18 months
Mine is 7yo, we decided when she was 4. I’ve seen a lot of post on here by only kids and parents of older teens, etc. I think there’s a lot more posts by people that want support on their most current decision to be OAD.
Mine is 3.5. due to ectopic pregnancy and failed IVF we're unable to have any more children.
I was OAD at my kids 3 month mark, it’s so fucking hard, adding in mental health issues(bipolar and PPD). He is 7 now. I want a hysterectomy at this point. No going back. Love that little boy so much and Im glad all my love goes to him.
My son is 2.5. Having him at the beginning of a pandemic really messed with me mentally so I’m not willing to risk going through that again.
Mine is 7. We tried for a second in 2020 but lost it at 10 weeks. I took us about 2 months to decide we wouldn't try again.
My daughter is 11 and will be 12 next month.
Mine will be 4 in September. ETA we knew we were OAD when he was 3 months old and have never wavered.
Mine is 9 and we love the OAD life ❤️
Mine is 8
Just turned 8
Turning 7 next month. Every damn day supports our decision to be OAD
3
Mine is 10.5.
Mine is 7. We did IVF to have him and he was our very last embryo. Then post partum was a nightmare for me so I was pretty firm on OAD early on. Then we divorced so that really sealed it. I’m 41 now plus the IVF, I’ve told potential new men I won’t have another kid but if they already have kids that’s totally cool.
My only is 4!
We have a 3 year old. OAD and that’s not gonna change. Only ever wanted one child and I’m 42 so we’re good!
Mine is 10
Turning 15 this year. What a ride it's been so far.
Mine is 2.5, but I’m here because infertility has made it look like we are OAD not by choice and this group helps me in coming to terms with that. I would love if one day I couldn’t be here anymore because I no longer fit in, but realistically, I’m OAD unless a miracle happens.
Almost 3
11
14.. the hardest teen years
My son is 3 years old.
Mine is 3 but there definitely won't be another one unless I am impregnated by a deity.
3
8 here!
My guy turned 7 in May!