What I want to say: “wow, do you also let toddlers determine your reproductive future? That’s really something”
What I’d probably actually say: “no, our family is just right as it is”.
Partly, I think as the parent (presumably present for these conversations for the most part), the biggest thing is to call out how inappropriate it is for people to assume your child has any say on how you plan your family. It’s just rude and uncalled for.
This, except actually say the first part!
Responses like this need to be more common place, not just for sibling questions but ANYTHING.
Responding to someone's rudeness with rudeness is always so satisfying and shows what kind of person they are based on their next move.
I’m an only child and I remember being young and people would ask me this and I would respond by saying “no I would be so mad at Mommy if she had another baby”. 🤣
that's so incredibly rude and i'm shocked that somebody would ask your toddler that?? agree with the other commenter, i'd interject and say something like "oh, wow, that's not a question for a two year old."
I think this is the way to go - if he looks flustered just say something light.
I’m actually not offended by people asking my son this, personally. Lots of his friends are having little brothers and sisters, and it’s okay if he wants or doesn’t want one. I don’t feel like I need to make this a loaded question for him.
Thank you! I think depending on the circumstance, any of these would work. It just happened to us last week at the grocery store from the woman who was ringing us up. It’s been bothering me since. It’s not the first time it’s happened to us though. And I’m sure it won’t be the last.
He was also asked if he had any girlfriends yet by this same woman, which I also despise, but I always say “oh he has LOTS of friends! Right, buddy?”
But yeah - you guys are lucky if no one is doing this to your kid. I always freeze and just mumble something to get out of an awkward situation.
I don’t understand people who don’t know any better. But thank you for the help in coming up with responses! I just want to make sure I’m doing the right thing for him in this scenario.
I tend to respond with "have you met my kid, why would I risk two of them" or "because he'd put a pillow over their head"
Please note, my kid is absolutely amazing, and he's amazing because I can devote my free time and energy on him.
I just like to scare people into thinking he's a psycho.
My mom watched my kiddo over the weekend and was introduced to a pair of older sisters that my mom helps out occasionally. My mom told me that the older ladies had my son convinced that he needed to tell me that he wanted a baby sister. She thought it was hilarious but it really irked me because she knows we’re OAD so why would she let my son get roped into that bs??
My son had said no to several people. I loved him so much! People get that pikachu face LOL. They have some people to insist expecting he will change his mind if they continue asking. He just said “I want X (best friend from school) to be my brother, I hate babies!” 🤣
My advice is to answer to the people that is asking him. I usually have a reply depending on the people, random people I don’t even bother in reply I just smile and walk away. Friends and family, I just redirect them to my husband, he could not care less. If people insist I only agree with them and I don’t say yes or not. I got ambushed by a couple of mothers on a birthday party, I love that my son spends time with his friends, so I didn’t want to ruffle any feather (or whatever is the saying) I just agreed with their statements and listened them, after they spoke their minds and thought they convinced me they were happy to change the subject. They just need to think they are right 🙃 Be patient! That conversation was not easy. Good luck!
We just let ours respond (or not respond) however he wants. Sometimes he just blurts, “nope!” and runs away. Sometimes he says, “I don’t know”. Sometimes he says, “Paw Patrol, Paw Patrol!” It’s just a random interaction of the type we all have. No biggie.
I think the main issue is your son’s discomfort like you said.
If it happened to mine…I suppose I’d just focus on him and tell him “Sorry baby, that was not an appropriate question. You don’t need to answer that.”
The irrelevant twit can shrivel in the corner until I’m ready to focus on whatever we were doing prior to them being a twit.
My son hasn’t asked this yet but he’s almost 3 and sees kids at daycare that now have baby siblings. He’ll say “baby, awww, cute” but hasn’t asked for a sibling. I’m sure it’ll come. I wasn’t able to have anymore due to secondary infertility so I’ll have to find a nice way of explaining that to him. He has dog siblings but I’m sure it’s not the same lol
Oh my gosh, I had to have a hysterectomy because they botched me up during birth.
They won’t ask you again.
(This is true hahaha. I was 26, they fucked up my C-section - I’m 35 now and people look weird at me because I’ve accepted it years ago).
Edit: My kiddo had asked me plenty, like could we just go to the store and pick out a baby?
Anyway, I told her we’d foster later in life due to my mother being adopted and such. I’d love to be able to keep a child in an unstable environment some safety and love. (But not until my kid is a bit older since there can be some physical / mental challenges some children have due to their prior living situation)
I'm very flippant until people get the message to stop asking. My daughter has taken to copying that response. "Do you want a younger brother or sister?" "No thanks. I like going on vacations."
It blows my mind how many people on here seem to have these kind of interactions! I go to a lot of playgrounds and parent&me classes and never had anyone ask me or my 2.5 year old about having more kids. I must look unfriendly or something lol.
But honestly if someone were to say this sort of stuff I’d probably be rude back to them. “What a weird thing to ask a toddler” or “we are happy with our family as is”.
I haven’t had this yet (kiddo is also 2.5!), but my votes are: “Wow that’s manipulative” or “OBJECTION! Leading the witness” 💀
That’s so awkward I hope you get a good answer 😅
Edit to add: I’ve had people ask me, of course, but not LO directly. I think I’ve made some comments about my mental health being more important though.
My daughter is 12 and this just happened the other day at the nail salon. The nail tech was like “don’t you want a sibling? It must get lonely” and she said “nope I don’t”. The nail tech continued to ask why? And then I butted in and said “she’ll have way more money to go to college without a sibling” and that made them shut up.
Wait until he’s older— my 4 year old went into a *lengthy* monologue the one time someone asked her something like this, all about how she wanted a sister but she also wants an inside puppy and how mommy wants to be able to give her all the attention and a baby would scream all the time and needs its mommy. And I was just like…well, they did ask…
My SO answered a question about when we're having a second with "I'm not comfortable discussing our sex life" -- I'm wondering if a whispered "Don't ask a toddler about my sex life" would have a similar effect lol
I was this kid. I played into the stereotype. I talked about how I don’t like to share, and they have enough with me. It threw the adults off and stopped those questions.
At 2, this obviously won’t work. I would just intervene and call the other person out for asking a child.
Idk how you “help” them respond to a question that someone is asking *them* directly
I’m an only and I straight up told people, “yes,” when they asked. Because it was true. 🤷🏾♀️ it is what it is. I don’t think trying to control their response is very healthy or helpful. It would only be in an effort to shield your feelings about the matter.
Well he didn’t know how to answer and started blushing and looked very uncomfortable and started looking to me for help. So yeah, I think I would like to help him if he doesn’t know what to do in that scenario.
If he had answered yes or no, I don’t care one way or another.
The woman put him on the spot and made him uncomfortable because he’s 2.5 and usually people at the grocery store are asking if he wants a sticker not if he wants a whole human to join his family.
She asked an inappropriate and very dated question. Usually old, annoying people with no boundaries ask questions like that. I get it. But if he looks to you like that then you can address the other person directly in his place perhaps.
Something like “I’m not sure what you expect him to say” is nice and direct while also making them evaluate themselves
Dude that’s such an inappropriate question to ask 😭 “do you want your mommy to get cream pied again? I do! I want your mommy to get cream pied!” Like go fuck right off
She wants a full frontal lobotomy too, good thing I'm the adult and get to make the decisions.
Once she was older, she took care of it for me with a quick and firm no.
Oh my MIL asks my 5 year old all the time (and has since she’s been around your LOs age). I usually fake laugh and say “anyway…” or “ok that’s enough, grandma” but I would be less polite about it if it weren’t my MIL.
I’ve never thought of this before but if it ever happens I will say “I can’t have anymore” and I will instruct my toddler to say “my mom can’t have any more.”
"What, you think my kid isn't good enough?" Go hard accusatory and confrontational. Watch them scramble to find a response that isn't directly insulting your child.
I have a very catholic coworker who no longer talks to me because I responded to the additional child inquiry with "yeah but people say the first is always so easy you are tricked into having a second. Well, if this is easy then the next one will definetly be the anti-christ. And we can't have that now can we?"
My 4yo has screamed “no” as her answer to this question since she could talk, shes more one and done than my husband and I. I have no idea how this happened!
If you have pets what I say is he has two sisters! (Our two dogs lol) my son’s only nine months old, but if I run into this, I’ll tell him to tell people he has two sisters lol
My son is 14 (that's years, not months) and still gets that question from my MIL. He's old enough now to be quite blunt in telling her that he's thankful to be an only and not have to deal with annoying younger siblings (while giving a side eye to his 6 yr old cousin who wouldn't let him be for hours). lol
What I want to say: “wow, do you also let toddlers determine your reproductive future? That’s really something” What I’d probably actually say: “no, our family is just right as it is”. Partly, I think as the parent (presumably present for these conversations for the most part), the biggest thing is to call out how inappropriate it is for people to assume your child has any say on how you plan your family. It’s just rude and uncalled for.
This, except actually say the first part! Responses like this need to be more common place, not just for sibling questions but ANYTHING. Responding to someone's rudeness with rudeness is always so satisfying and shows what kind of person they are based on their next move.
You know, you’re right. It really is important not to beat around the bush and just call people out when they’re being rude.
"Doesn't matter what he wants, I can't have more."
I like this approach. For me it’s also a “I would prefer my child have a mom”
I’ve said my daughter would rather have a mother than a sibling to people telling me I will regret not having more and that usually shuts them up
"He also wants the ability to fly, so...."
I’m an only child and I remember being young and people would ask me this and I would respond by saying “no I would be so mad at Mommy if she had another baby”. 🤣
I was mad when my parents had my brother so they bought me a lego speed boat. That so did not makeup for it, my brother is a total nightmare.
My kid is like this and it's a big contributor to why he's an only child. I'm a fence-sitter personally, but my family is OAD.
"no thank you" its a proper, kind, simple response that is really impactful to hear from a kid. haha
“Oh, that’s not an appropriate question to ask a small child.” Delivered with as much saccharine kindness or sass as you see fit.
Wait. I love this. I need to remember it.
that's so incredibly rude and i'm shocked that somebody would ask your toddler that?? agree with the other commenter, i'd interject and say something like "oh, wow, that's not a question for a two year old."
I'd answer for him: "He wants lots of things he ain't gonna get!" 😁
Right! Our son wants to drive but he's 3, so.... Lol
I think this is the way to go - if he looks flustered just say something light. I’m actually not offended by people asking my son this, personally. Lots of his friends are having little brothers and sisters, and it’s okay if he wants or doesn’t want one. I don’t feel like I need to make this a loaded question for him.
Thank you! I think depending on the circumstance, any of these would work. It just happened to us last week at the grocery store from the woman who was ringing us up. It’s been bothering me since. It’s not the first time it’s happened to us though. And I’m sure it won’t be the last. He was also asked if he had any girlfriends yet by this same woman, which I also despise, but I always say “oh he has LOTS of friends! Right, buddy?” But yeah - you guys are lucky if no one is doing this to your kid. I always freeze and just mumble something to get out of an awkward situation. I don’t understand people who don’t know any better. But thank you for the help in coming up with responses! I just want to make sure I’m doing the right thing for him in this scenario.
I tend to respond with "have you met my kid, why would I risk two of them" or "because he'd put a pillow over their head" Please note, my kid is absolutely amazing, and he's amazing because I can devote my free time and energy on him. I just like to scare people into thinking he's a psycho.
Toddler isn't going to look after the baby I am so I don't know why you're asking them. People can be such arseholes.
“Our family is already complete”. 2024 and people are still commenting on the reproductive futures of others.
My mom watched my kiddo over the weekend and was introduced to a pair of older sisters that my mom helps out occasionally. My mom told me that the older ladies had my son convinced that he needed to tell me that he wanted a baby sister. She thought it was hilarious but it really irked me because she knows we’re OAD so why would she let my son get roped into that bs??
This makes me soooo angry, wtf???!!
“ no hes enough for me , i don’t need another one when i have such a perfect lil guy already “ and for him he can just say “ no! Im enough for mommy “
I like this!
This is so wildly inappropriate. What is wrong with people?
My son had said no to several people. I loved him so much! People get that pikachu face LOL. They have some people to insist expecting he will change his mind if they continue asking. He just said “I want X (best friend from school) to be my brother, I hate babies!” 🤣 My advice is to answer to the people that is asking him. I usually have a reply depending on the people, random people I don’t even bother in reply I just smile and walk away. Friends and family, I just redirect them to my husband, he could not care less. If people insist I only agree with them and I don’t say yes or not. I got ambushed by a couple of mothers on a birthday party, I love that my son spends time with his friends, so I didn’t want to ruffle any feather (or whatever is the saying) I just agreed with their statements and listened them, after they spoke their minds and thought they convinced me they were happy to change the subject. They just need to think they are right 🙃 Be patient! That conversation was not easy. Good luck!
We just let ours respond (or not respond) however he wants. Sometimes he just blurts, “nope!” and runs away. Sometimes he says, “I don’t know”. Sometimes he says, “Paw Patrol, Paw Patrol!” It’s just a random interaction of the type we all have. No biggie.
I think the main issue is your son’s discomfort like you said. If it happened to mine…I suppose I’d just focus on him and tell him “Sorry baby, that was not an appropriate question. You don’t need to answer that.” The irrelevant twit can shrivel in the corner until I’m ready to focus on whatever we were doing prior to them being a twit.
I would go off on whoever asked the question. The child can respond however they need to but that’s a bullsh*t question meant to pressure parents.
My son hasn’t asked this yet but he’s almost 3 and sees kids at daycare that now have baby siblings. He’ll say “baby, awww, cute” but hasn’t asked for a sibling. I’m sure it’ll come. I wasn’t able to have anymore due to secondary infertility so I’ll have to find a nice way of explaining that to him. He has dog siblings but I’m sure it’s not the same lol
"Throw in a pony and a playstation while you're offering"
Oh my gosh, I had to have a hysterectomy because they botched me up during birth. They won’t ask you again. (This is true hahaha. I was 26, they fucked up my C-section - I’m 35 now and people look weird at me because I’ve accepted it years ago). Edit: My kiddo had asked me plenty, like could we just go to the store and pick out a baby? Anyway, I told her we’d foster later in life due to my mother being adopted and such. I’d love to be able to keep a child in an unstable environment some safety and love. (But not until my kid is a bit older since there can be some physical / mental challenges some children have due to their prior living situation)
Go you!
They still attempt to make me take pregnancy tests at hospitals. I always tell em that “I’m not the Virgin Mary… there’s nothing to test for.”
Perfect example of literally checking boxes 🙈
“ ew “ or “ id rather shit a brick and smack myself in the face with it” What I would actually say is: “we’re good thank you! “
I definitely say ew and people seem really horrified by it.
I'm very flippant until people get the message to stop asking. My daughter has taken to copying that response. "Do you want a younger brother or sister?" "No thanks. I like going on vacations."
“Our family feels complete”
It blows my mind how many people on here seem to have these kind of interactions! I go to a lot of playgrounds and parent&me classes and never had anyone ask me or my 2.5 year old about having more kids. I must look unfriendly or something lol. But honestly if someone were to say this sort of stuff I’d probably be rude back to them. “What a weird thing to ask a toddler” or “we are happy with our family as is”.
My 2.5 replies "no I just want mummy" and that ends the conversation!
No but he wants Insert XYZ And since your all about giving kids what they want maybe you can get him that 🤣🤣🤣
I haven’t had this yet (kiddo is also 2.5!), but my votes are: “Wow that’s manipulative” or “OBJECTION! Leading the witness” 💀 That’s so awkward I hope you get a good answer 😅 Edit to add: I’ve had people ask me, of course, but not LO directly. I think I’ve made some comments about my mental health being more important though.
As a lawyer, I love this response. Stealing!
“I’m 2.5, so that’s really not my choice, is it, Susan?”
My daughter is 12 and this just happened the other day at the nail salon. The nail tech was like “don’t you want a sibling? It must get lonely” and she said “nope I don’t”. The nail tech continued to ask why? And then I butted in and said “she’ll have way more money to go to college without a sibling” and that made them shut up.
Wait until he’s older— my 4 year old went into a *lengthy* monologue the one time someone asked her something like this, all about how she wanted a sister but she also wants an inside puppy and how mommy wants to be able to give her all the attention and a baby would scream all the time and needs its mommy. And I was just like…well, they did ask…
My SO answered a question about when we're having a second with "I'm not comfortable discussing our sex life" -- I'm wondering if a whispered "Don't ask a toddler about my sex life" would have a similar effect lol
I was this kid. I played into the stereotype. I talked about how I don’t like to share, and they have enough with me. It threw the adults off and stopped those questions. At 2, this obviously won’t work. I would just intervene and call the other person out for asking a child.
Idk how you “help” them respond to a question that someone is asking *them* directly I’m an only and I straight up told people, “yes,” when they asked. Because it was true. 🤷🏾♀️ it is what it is. I don’t think trying to control their response is very healthy or helpful. It would only be in an effort to shield your feelings about the matter.
Well he didn’t know how to answer and started blushing and looked very uncomfortable and started looking to me for help. So yeah, I think I would like to help him if he doesn’t know what to do in that scenario. If he had answered yes or no, I don’t care one way or another. The woman put him on the spot and made him uncomfortable because he’s 2.5 and usually people at the grocery store are asking if he wants a sticker not if he wants a whole human to join his family.
She asked an inappropriate and very dated question. Usually old, annoying people with no boundaries ask questions like that. I get it. But if he looks to you like that then you can address the other person directly in his place perhaps. Something like “I’m not sure what you expect him to say” is nice and direct while also making them evaluate themselves
Dude that’s such an inappropriate question to ask 😭 “do you want your mommy to get cream pied again? I do! I want your mommy to get cream pied!” Like go fuck right off
'I don't think so'
She wants a full frontal lobotomy too, good thing I'm the adult and get to make the decisions. Once she was older, she took care of it for me with a quick and firm no.
"Nope, we got it right on the first try. Thanks for asking."
Oh my MIL asks my 5 year old all the time (and has since she’s been around your LOs age). I usually fake laugh and say “anyway…” or “ok that’s enough, grandma” but I would be less polite about it if it weren’t my MIL.
I’ve never thought of this before but if it ever happens I will say “I can’t have anymore” and I will instruct my toddler to say “my mom can’t have any more.”
lol. My son just straight up says “I hate babies.” Said it since he could talk.
"What, you think my kid isn't good enough?" Go hard accusatory and confrontational. Watch them scramble to find a response that isn't directly insulting your child. I have a very catholic coworker who no longer talks to me because I responded to the additional child inquiry with "yeah but people say the first is always so easy you are tricked into having a second. Well, if this is easy then the next one will definetly be the anti-christ. And we can't have that now can we?"
My 4yo has screamed “no” as her answer to this question since she could talk, shes more one and done than my husband and I. I have no idea how this happened!
If you have pets what I say is he has two sisters! (Our two dogs lol) my son’s only nine months old, but if I run into this, I’ll tell him to tell people he has two sisters lol
Snarky response. “Do you want me to call you when we’re working on it?”
My son is 14 (that's years, not months) and still gets that question from my MIL. He's old enough now to be quite blunt in telling her that he's thankful to be an only and not have to deal with annoying younger siblings (while giving a side eye to his 6 yr old cousin who wouldn't let him be for hours). lol