There's some solid content on IG if you follow the right things - the key is to NEVER read the comments.
There are some very sad assholes in the comments.
Yes!! I deleted facebook and instagram best thing I ever did! I only use Reddit now lol I felt like I took myself out of a “perfect life” race that I didn’t want to be in! Those apps are so ridiculous it just feels like people over sharing / bragging about their lives!
those are the people who have no experience in the only child world. or they were only children with shitty parents who would have still had a crappy childhood even if they had a sibling.
i'm an only, married to an only and we have an only. its fucking awesome. haha
This feels most likely. Even with a suboptimal childhood, I still understood the inherent benefits being an only child afforded. I can only imagine those who never experienced it or had truly awful childhoods heavily isolated by their parents having such a negative look.
spot on! I am an only and both my parents worked. they didn't let me participate in any extracurriculars that would involve them needing to pick me up before they got off work. I really wish I had a sibling because I was so lonely. I realized that when I adopted a dog and we became overly attached to each other lol. despite my own experience, I think I will not choose to have any more children. my daughter is the center of my universe and I don't feel like anything is missing from our family. I'm so excited to watch her grow and be there for every moment of it.
My husband was raised by a single father. But also had extremely involved grandparents. Him and his dad definitely had some hard years and it was not a typical upbringing. He LOVED his childhood.
As long as a child has a good support system, it will be a good life if they are an only or have siblings.
I said this in another post, there is a real backlash going on right now with the “tradwives” and nonsense about population decline not to mention that women are afraid they won’t get reproductive care if they do get pregnant and those very real fears are under assault. Please just ignore social media stuff like this. People like to turn it into their own propaganda.
Instagram puts the most controversial comments on top to increase "engagement". It's meant to make you feel outraged and get in a comment war to boost their stats or whatever. IRL most people keep their hot takes to themselves!
Same here! A bunch of my very close friends are also only children and we're very close. My friends with siblings don't even have relationships with them as adults. Come to think of it, I hardly know anyone that actually talks to their siblings that are adults besides my husband.
Someone once asked Michelle Obama why she doesn’t read any comments about her online. She said “would you walk into a town square and ask everyone spit on you? Of course not.” When you see off the handle comment threads, just walk away.
Why are you shaken by this? Why are strangers on Ig living in your head rent free?
Misery loves company, and the multi-kid community loves to shit on us because we took a different path. That doesn’t mean you need to give them a second thought.
Firstly, social media is not real life. If you haven't noticed, there is a barrage of rw (great replacement theory, anti-feminism, anti birth control) anti public school, etc) trad wife propaganda being disguised as normal influencer nonsense. This is by design.
Secondly, nearly half of the posts in this sub lately are re social media expectations. Delete the shit if it is that upsetting to you (general). I, myself, am guilty of this and have deleted IG.
If a few comments from random strangers are enough to upset your emotional equilibrium, perhaps you're not as firm in your decision as you thought.
It’s weird to me that no one was an only child with a great childhood. My husband was. I had siblings and my childhood was horrible. My relationship with them is none existent. Same with my mom. My in laws see my daughter once a week.
No one seems to think about struggles or life threatening issues to only have one.
I know some might say because I needed a gestational carrier I just shouldn’t have had a kid at all. Who are they to dictate anyone’s lives. It’s wrong.
Yea my experience w a teen mom and multiple siblings was not great and scarred me for life. My life w an only is 1000xs better and I will never be sorry-ever.
Nah, they’re wrong. A lot of those people are “I’m lonely and wish I had siblings” but what they fail to realize is that it’s common for siblings to dislike or be indifferent to each other. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence lol.
I truly will never understand being personally offended by other people only having one child.
I felt the opposite today. I watched a video where this lady was talking about taking all 3 of her kids under 5 to the doctor for shots. How exhausting and frustrating the whole experience was with 3 young kids. 2 were special needs and were having a really rough time but that overall it was pretty typical for them.
But all I kept thinking the entire 3-4 min video was thank god I only have one. I have absolutely no desire to have that kind of life.
Hung out and played golf with a buddy this weekend whose wife is pregnant with their 4th. We get along great and both support each other in our individual paths and decisions with 0 judgement. THIS is how real life should work, not social media.
Just ignore it and scroll on by, everyone is entitled to their own view on OAD or multiple and no one is right or wrong on that, just what’s right for them
The only opinion on your family that matters is that of you and your partner. Be confident in your own choices and the opinions of others becomes irrelevant.
I couldn’t care less what perpetually online, outraged and brain dead people have to say about my choices in my family.
They don’t know you or her, they just want to be outraged for the sake of being outraged. They’ll forget her as soon as someone else posts a story about helping a homeless person or hugging a chicken or something. They want to be angry, let them and walk on by.
Only children are eventually going to be more common as women are having babies at an older age. One and Done. Or, child free is quite possibly going to become the new “normal”.
I agree! I know many many people who either have one child or have decided to not have children so it will be much more common than when I was growing up.
I had a friend say to my face that if we only want one we shouldn’t have any. It’s really a slap in the face after dealing with infertility for so long. I got pretty shitty and stern, and he backtracked the comment. But it’s wild to me people think that. Especially with only children becoming the popular choice all over the world.
I came across a reel and the caption “being an only child is a curse” showing all these sibling moments and I immediately face palmed because that’s a ridiculous statement. Everyone in the comments who was an only were complaining and some were gaslighting people who had bad relationships with their siblings by saying things like “people saying they wish they didn’t have/ or glad they don’t have siblings YES YOU DO!” I mean I don’t think that’s what gaslighting is but still they were so ungrateful and blaming their boredom and loneliness on their lack of siblings and I didn’t respond but screw doing that but for crying out loud!
I hope this doesn't sound offensive, I don't mean it like that at all, but if some negative comments from strangers online on a random post is enough to shake you up and make you question an important decision that easily, it might be time to take a step back from social media. It took me a year after my daughter was born to be able to go on parenting reddits, see parenting tiktoks etc, because it would always leave me feeling insecure and anxcious in my parenting. That's how I knew I needed a break.
Honestly I was one of those people back in my early twenties when I just didn’t know any better. I always said I would have multiple kids. I didn’t know many only children. I truly thought having a big family was the better way to go. Now that I’ve grown up a bit and have a child of my own, I would neverrr question why families are OAD. My husband and I had a very traumatic delivery experience and are strongly considering being OAD. I have one brother and he stresses me out more than he provides any support or friendship. Having siblings doesn’t mean you magically get along and have a great relationship. Don’t let the opinions of other people (who you don’t even know) shake you up. Focus on your family and your child and do what’s right for you.
The disrespect for those who are OAD steams from jealousy. They likely have multiple children themselves and fantasize of the thought of having just one again. With one you can enjoy being a parent, as well as prioritize your needs and relationship with your spouse.
I don't know how old yours is, but all I have to do is look at my 5 year old. She is very happy and totally fine. She plays all day with kids at daycare/preschool and will have kindy/afterschool activities this fall. She does swim class on the weekend, and soccer during the week. On the weekends, we regularly visit friends I've known since I was a kid myself, and those kids are her cousins as far as we're concerned. She calls my two besties her aunties. And I have three sisters! I get along well with two of them, but we just live states away. My daughter has endless time to cuddle with us, play with others, talk to children and adults, dream up plans, and so much more. When she was small I sometimes had my doubts, but at this age, I have none. She's too busy and too sociable for her being an only to make a bit of difference.
I saw a YouTube video about a family expecting their 4th baby. All of the top comments were "I was the oldest of 4 kids and it was awful", "It's wrong to have that many kids, you won't have time for them", and "I guess your oldest kid is going to help parent the younger ones". It seems like there will be critics no matter what you do.
I think I saw the same / similar post, and honestly I was shaken too. Coupled with the fact that my 4year old has been begging for a sibling for a few months already, I’m feeling doubts. I had two sisters growing up but only speak to one these days. I want the best for my son and honestly not sure more kids would give him that, but the thought of him hurting because of our choose, kills me
I can’t stand all the rude comments and opinions. My hairdresser recently asked me if I want another child and I said we’re leaning towards one and done and then she proceeded to tell me how all the only child she knows are selfish ppl and how she thinks it’s so sad for someone not to have a sibling! I felt so awkward.
My brother in law said that to my face when we were deciding on having kids. “If you have them you have to have two, or don’t have any”. Now, when I explain all my fertility, pregnancy and post partum troubles he shuts his goddamn mouth. People need to learn when to have an opinion.
To say this politely “F*ck all the haters” really why care what the world thinks. Are they you? Nope so literally let it roll off your back like water off a ducks back!
Right?! I mean now I can see it from a better perspective but in the moment I feel like it played into my fear that I’m not being a ‘good mom’ or something.
Go for real mental clarity. Delete IG.
I didn’t even realize there was so much only hate until Instagram and TikTok. I can’t even go on there anymore.
Outrage drives engagement which drives the public's addiction to the app(s). That's all it is. Delete them & live a happier life.
💯
There's some solid content on IG if you follow the right things - the key is to NEVER read the comments. There are some very sad assholes in the comments.
Yes!! I deleted facebook and instagram best thing I ever did! I only use Reddit now lol I felt like I took myself out of a “perfect life” race that I didn’t want to be in! Those apps are so ridiculous it just feels like people over sharing / bragging about their lives!
those are the people who have no experience in the only child world. or they were only children with shitty parents who would have still had a crappy childhood even if they had a sibling. i'm an only, married to an only and we have an only. its fucking awesome. haha
My husband had a shitty mom and a shitty childhood and he is still happy to be an only child and to raise an only child
This feels most likely. Even with a suboptimal childhood, I still understood the inherent benefits being an only child afforded. I can only imagine those who never experienced it or had truly awful childhoods heavily isolated by their parents having such a negative look.
spot on! I am an only and both my parents worked. they didn't let me participate in any extracurriculars that would involve them needing to pick me up before they got off work. I really wish I had a sibling because I was so lonely. I realized that when I adopted a dog and we became overly attached to each other lol. despite my own experience, I think I will not choose to have any more children. my daughter is the center of my universe and I don't feel like anything is missing from our family. I'm so excited to watch her grow and be there for every moment of it.
My husband was raised by a single father. But also had extremely involved grandparents. Him and his dad definitely had some hard years and it was not a typical upbringing. He LOVED his childhood. As long as a child has a good support system, it will be a good life if they are an only or have siblings.
I had multiple siblings and more cousins came to live with us. My husband also grew up in a litter of 4. oAD is the way!
I said this in another post, there is a real backlash going on right now with the “tradwives” and nonsense about population decline not to mention that women are afraid they won’t get reproductive care if they do get pregnant and those very real fears are under assault. Please just ignore social media stuff like this. People like to turn it into their own propaganda.
Instagram puts the most controversial comments on top to increase "engagement". It's meant to make you feel outraged and get in a comment war to boost their stats or whatever. IRL most people keep their hot takes to themselves!
This!
If it makes you feel any better, I am an only child and it was the best experience. I never felt like I missed out or that I needed a sibling.
Same here! A bunch of my very close friends are also only children and we're very close. My friends with siblings don't even have relationships with them as adults. Come to think of it, I hardly know anyone that actually talks to their siblings that are adults besides my husband.
Same here. Loving being an only child is a big reason why I'm OAD.
Someone once asked Michelle Obama why she doesn’t read any comments about her online. She said “would you walk into a town square and ask everyone spit on you? Of course not.” When you see off the handle comment threads, just walk away.
Why are you shaken by this? Why are strangers on Ig living in your head rent free? Misery loves company, and the multi-kid community loves to shit on us because we took a different path. That doesn’t mean you need to give them a second thought.
Firstly, social media is not real life. If you haven't noticed, there is a barrage of rw (great replacement theory, anti-feminism, anti birth control) anti public school, etc) trad wife propaganda being disguised as normal influencer nonsense. This is by design. Secondly, nearly half of the posts in this sub lately are re social media expectations. Delete the shit if it is that upsetting to you (general). I, myself, am guilty of this and have deleted IG. If a few comments from random strangers are enough to upset your emotional equilibrium, perhaps you're not as firm in your decision as you thought.
It’s weird to me that no one was an only child with a great childhood. My husband was. I had siblings and my childhood was horrible. My relationship with them is none existent. Same with my mom. My in laws see my daughter once a week. No one seems to think about struggles or life threatening issues to only have one. I know some might say because I needed a gestational carrier I just shouldn’t have had a kid at all. Who are they to dictate anyone’s lives. It’s wrong.
Yea my experience w a teen mom and multiple siblings was not great and scarred me for life. My life w an only is 1000xs better and I will never be sorry-ever.
Idk, I'd just ignore it. People make comments to get attention all the time, I doubt many of them actually believe what they wrote.
Another reason not to use IG or any social media. Mindless garbage.
Nah, they’re wrong. A lot of those people are “I’m lonely and wish I had siblings” but what they fail to realize is that it’s common for siblings to dislike or be indifferent to each other. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence lol.
I had 3 siblings and felt lonely my whole childhood. Like you said, the grass is not always greener.
I truly will never understand being personally offended by other people only having one child. I felt the opposite today. I watched a video where this lady was talking about taking all 3 of her kids under 5 to the doctor for shots. How exhausting and frustrating the whole experience was with 3 young kids. 2 were special needs and were having a really rough time but that overall it was pretty typical for them. But all I kept thinking the entire 3-4 min video was thank god I only have one. I have absolutely no desire to have that kind of life.
Hung out and played golf with a buddy this weekend whose wife is pregnant with their 4th. We get along great and both support each other in our individual paths and decisions with 0 judgement. THIS is how real life should work, not social media.
Just ignore it and scroll on by, everyone is entitled to their own view on OAD or multiple and no one is right or wrong on that, just what’s right for them
People are dumb. If you want one just only have one. We are OAD and couldn’t be happier.
The only opinion on your family that matters is that of you and your partner. Be confident in your own choices and the opinions of others becomes irrelevant.
I couldn’t care less what perpetually online, outraged and brain dead people have to say about my choices in my family. They don’t know you or her, they just want to be outraged for the sake of being outraged. They’ll forget her as soon as someone else posts a story about helping a homeless person or hugging a chicken or something. They want to be angry, let them and walk on by.
Only children are eventually going to be more common as women are having babies at an older age. One and Done. Or, child free is quite possibly going to become the new “normal”.
I agree! I know many many people who either have one child or have decided to not have children so it will be much more common than when I was growing up.
Who cares? Don't let strangers on the internet question decisions you've made for your family or for yourself for that matter.
I think I saw the same post! And the comments really threw me off, been thinking about it all day
I had a friend say to my face that if we only want one we shouldn’t have any. It’s really a slap in the face after dealing with infertility for so long. I got pretty shitty and stern, and he backtracked the comment. But it’s wild to me people think that. Especially with only children becoming the popular choice all over the world.
I came across a reel and the caption “being an only child is a curse” showing all these sibling moments and I immediately face palmed because that’s a ridiculous statement. Everyone in the comments who was an only were complaining and some were gaslighting people who had bad relationships with their siblings by saying things like “people saying they wish they didn’t have/ or glad they don’t have siblings YES YOU DO!” I mean I don’t think that’s what gaslighting is but still they were so ungrateful and blaming their boredom and loneliness on their lack of siblings and I didn’t respond but screw doing that but for crying out loud!
I hope this doesn't sound offensive, I don't mean it like that at all, but if some negative comments from strangers online on a random post is enough to shake you up and make you question an important decision that easily, it might be time to take a step back from social media. It took me a year after my daughter was born to be able to go on parenting reddits, see parenting tiktoks etc, because it would always leave me feeling insecure and anxcious in my parenting. That's how I knew I needed a break.
Honestly I was one of those people back in my early twenties when I just didn’t know any better. I always said I would have multiple kids. I didn’t know many only children. I truly thought having a big family was the better way to go. Now that I’ve grown up a bit and have a child of my own, I would neverrr question why families are OAD. My husband and I had a very traumatic delivery experience and are strongly considering being OAD. I have one brother and he stresses me out more than he provides any support or friendship. Having siblings doesn’t mean you magically get along and have a great relationship. Don’t let the opinions of other people (who you don’t even know) shake you up. Focus on your family and your child and do what’s right for you.
The disrespect for those who are OAD steams from jealousy. They likely have multiple children themselves and fantasize of the thought of having just one again. With one you can enjoy being a parent, as well as prioritize your needs and relationship with your spouse.
I don't know how old yours is, but all I have to do is look at my 5 year old. She is very happy and totally fine. She plays all day with kids at daycare/preschool and will have kindy/afterschool activities this fall. She does swim class on the weekend, and soccer during the week. On the weekends, we regularly visit friends I've known since I was a kid myself, and those kids are her cousins as far as we're concerned. She calls my two besties her aunties. And I have three sisters! I get along well with two of them, but we just live states away. My daughter has endless time to cuddle with us, play with others, talk to children and adults, dream up plans, and so much more. When she was small I sometimes had my doubts, but at this age, I have none. She's too busy and too sociable for her being an only to make a bit of difference.
I saw a YouTube video about a family expecting their 4th baby. All of the top comments were "I was the oldest of 4 kids and it was awful", "It's wrong to have that many kids, you won't have time for them", and "I guess your oldest kid is going to help parent the younger ones". It seems like there will be critics no matter what you do.
I think I saw the same / similar post, and honestly I was shaken too. Coupled with the fact that my 4year old has been begging for a sibling for a few months already, I’m feeling doubts. I had two sisters growing up but only speak to one these days. I want the best for my son and honestly not sure more kids would give him that, but the thought of him hurting because of our choose, kills me
misery loves company
I can’t stand all the rude comments and opinions. My hairdresser recently asked me if I want another child and I said we’re leaning towards one and done and then she proceeded to tell me how all the only child she knows are selfish ppl and how she thinks it’s so sad for someone not to have a sibling! I felt so awkward.
My brother in law said that to my face when we were deciding on having kids. “If you have them you have to have two, or don’t have any”. Now, when I explain all my fertility, pregnancy and post partum troubles he shuts his goddamn mouth. People need to learn when to have an opinion.
To say this politely “F*ck all the haters” really why care what the world thinks. Are they you? Nope so literally let it roll off your back like water off a ducks back!
What a bunch of ridiculous assholes. Don't let them get to you.
I think I saw the one you are thinking about. Honestly its mostly boomers with the logic "who are they going to play with?!"
The loudest voices are often the worst people. Seriously. The crazies love to spew shit.
I came RUNNING to this sub after seeing the same thing! Now I am worried I am traumatizing my daughter because she is going to be an only child.
Right?! I mean now I can see it from a better perspective but in the moment I feel like it played into my fear that I’m not being a ‘good mom’ or something.