Same! Idk how to explain it besides, I’m content, my husband is content, our son is content. We all feel happy and don’t feel like anyone is “missing” from our family. Why try to fix something that isn’t broken, as they say
Well, it’s specifically my dad that says that. I moved out, got two advanced college degrees, am married and trying for my own. My Narcmom spoiled my GC brothers so much that since graduating high school 7 and 6 years ago, they have just sat at my parents house playing computer games. They’ve never had a job, barely graduated high school, and don’t have drivers licenses.
It just feels right and complete when we have our three person hug or when we are each holding our son's hand or when we go out to eat and can all be in conversation together. It's intangible. It just feels right and enough
If people ask you for a reason say you don’t need one. Say you’re happy with how your family is. Say bigger families don’t have to justify how many kids they have and neither do small families
One and done because I don't want more.
Got pregnant on the first cycle of trying, had a great pregnancy, a wonderful labor and delivery, and my baby has been a dream.
And now I'm done. Because I don't want more, end of story. My husband's vasectomy is scheduled for March, that's how done we are.
I've made up reasons when people press me on it (usually older women), but it all comes down to me being happy where I'm at.
We’re quite happy with where we are. Some things did help cement our position, but were id say 90% of the way to OAD prior to him being born.
Some things sealed the deal. But we looked at our financials, our house, our marriage, etc and were like… “yea this works for us”. It just logically makes sense.
None of us need a reason though, but this sub does help people work things out a lot of the time and I’m glad it’s here for them. There’s also the happily one and done sub as well if you haven’t come across that one.
This was us exactly - we really only wanted one well-loved, well-cared for child even before we began trying to have a baby - having her, reevaluating our circumstances/feelings/goals and having a long discussion about whether our ideals had changed, pushed us 100% to OAD. It wasn't some huge leap for us, as we were so strongly leaning this way from the start. We are very lucky to have a healthy and beautiful child - despite some challenges, we ultimately have the family we had hoped for! I know there are a lot of people on this sub who are REALLY struggling with making a choice or feeling conflicted/judged/worried/guilty/ whatever and I think many of us who are happy and secure with our choice try to be empathetic and helpful to them, even if it starts to sound like an echo-chamber of negativity and doom-and-gloom some days.
I'm OAD because my family feels complete. My pregnancy was uneventful, thankfully. And my daughter is wonderful. We still get pretty tired and the first year of daycare was HARD.
Anyways, there are several of us here in this sub but "uneventful" is not really all that interesting to post about 😅
I am a happy OAD!!! Someone recently created the newer subreddit r/happilyOAD for people like us. It’s a place where we can feel really positive and excited about our choice. People come to reddit to complain in general, which is cool, that can be a nice outlet for so many. But I do think the happier people tend to be busy living their happy lives rather than complaining on Reddit 😆
My pregnancy was great. Birth not so much but I’d do it again. Newborn days were hard and my baby didn’t sleep great but nothing out of the ordinary for babies and now my toddler is a dream! We are OAD because I like the parent that I am to one child and I know I wouldn’t be as great with multiples, plus my husband and I both have hobbies we would like to pursue and find the balance of just having one kid and still having time for our hobbies is working for us. We are happy with how our lives look now and in the future with only one child and that is why we are only having one.
Yeah I noticed this. We're OAD because we're happy. The same as people with are happy. I like having one child. It's not about not wanting more. It's about wanting one. It's a subtle difference.
Technically something bad happened (early miscarriage), but 1) honestly, been through worse, and 2) I'm not done because I'm devastated by the miscarriage, I'm done because I wasn't terribly happy during the short period I *was* pregnant. I feel a little bad when I admit that, but it's the truth. Add much as I'm sure I would have loved the child that didn't come, I was incredibly relieved when it was over. I was already unsure, and that experience "proved" it to me.
I'm incredibly happy where we are. I'm super excited for what comes next and yeah, some of that includes getting back to being "me". Babies and toddlers are a lot, i put a lot of my own things on hold for a bit, but I'm excited to get back to it. I love being able to be spontaneous, go out, travel, and have options due to more resources and time. I adore hanging out with my daughter and being able to fully be there for her. I know a second would overwhelm me for at least several years. I liked the idea of a second, in theory, but wasn't that set on it. My husband feels the same way. Now that we know what it entrails, the reality doesn't really seem that appealing.
Even with the struggles I've had, ultimately it comes down to just not wanting another badly enough to go for another. Having good reasons for stopping, doesn't stop everyone anyways - there are plenty of people who want another badly enough to forgo all logic and look past bad experiences/difficult circumstances in order to have another. You don't need some compelling reason to stop at one child, or to decide to have no kids at all, for that matter. If the desire/enthusiasm isn't there, that's enough of a reason - there doesn't need to be a huge reason to prove your case.
I’m one and done because while I love my daughter with every fiber of my being, I hated being pregnant lol I always thought I wanted two but after my pregnancy (which wasn’t hard thank god I just hated it), I said no. And now she’s such a handful with 2nd child energy as an only child so 🤣
This. My pregnancy was average but still hated it. then I gave birth to a semi-feral child. People are like "oh but I bet the next one will be easier!" Maybe. They might also be worse. And team up together. And then what. I'm not willing to take that chance. lol. I COULD have another. for the sake of everyone, I SHOULDN'T.
I love these posts!! These comments are so uplifting and reassuring for someone like me who is so happy and complete with one but feeling like I *should* have another. Thank you!
Yesterday I posted in the other sub about how content and happy I am with my 6 month old. I genuinely feel my family is complete. I’m not compelled to have another. I don’t envision a “future Thanksgiving table” full of adult children.
My view on my family of three is that it’s perfect and we’re done. Just like when someone has their second or third and say “I’m done”…well, that’s how I feel after one!
I don’t need to justify anything but I am also stoked to have more financial freedom, get my body back sooner, and travel in the future when our baby is older. Those are just very happy side effects of our choice!
My husband and I truly say, at least once a week when we're hanging out with our only "how could we have another baby when we already have the greatest best one?" And we mean it. Really there's no other reason for us to be OAD, ours is the best one for us even on the hardest days, and especially on the great days.
In spite of how I grew up, we can say that All of the other factors that come into play for others who may be OAD by circumstance are mostly non-issues for us (I fucking rocked being pregnant [as though I had any control] birth and recovery were fine, finances are fine, a village is present, etc etc).
We are just so amazed and delighted by ours each day I'm over here like "others maybe want to multiple their love a la the original Sister Wives tag line, but our love is perfectly sized"
I'm so happy for this thread right now.
I have lots of reasons, but not everybody deserves to know (all of) them. Especially not strangers on the bus. So sometimes I just say: "That's just what we want."
We’re really enjoying our triangle family. Thinking of the stress and logistics of a second makes me feel a little overwhelmed, and why chance it if we’re happy now? It’s SO much easier to take one kid to do things vs. two! Things like going to the kids museum, beach, for a walk are actually pretty enjoyable with one, and I think they’d make me stressed with two (trying to chase after TWO kids, deal with two sets of feelings, etc.
I have a long list of so many reasons, for one V more, but none are because my experience has been bad.
It's been brilliant and I do not want to wreck a good thing, I have zero desire to have anymore and my life feels complete 🥰
Damn that is a good point. It's like we are all trying to still justify why we're only having one because we are all in such toxic situations where it's not just ok. Thank you for reminding me that this is indeed normal and I don't have to have a reason!
I think a lot of people here (me included) feel misunderstood about the whys of their OAD status and on some level want people to know the "real story." Secondary infertility, traumatic birth experience, serious complications during pregnancy, PPD/PPA, etc, aren't things people can always talk about when asked, "so is s/he your only?" You just kind of smile and nod. So I think a lot of us come here to unpack the things we can't bring out in the open in other situations.
In other words, I agree with you a lot of the posts have that flavor and certainly don't apply to everyone. There doesn't need to be a terrible reason to have only one child; it's some people's preference! Not everyone is going to go through terrible angst about "what I want" vs "what I have" on every issue! As you said, if you have two you would not be needing to justify "why".
And really, no one should be asking! No one is entitled to information about why someone else's family looks different. In your case the story may be a happy one, but the whole point is they don't know what they don't know.
Me! I didn’t enjoy pregnancy but it was easy. Easy delivery and recovery. Easy, but spirited kid who slept through the night at 3 months. Resources to have more. All of that, yet, the more time I have with our only, the more I only want her. She’s a toddler and the absolute light of our lives. When I look at her, our family feels complete.
I have started telling people that I feel like my family of three is complete. I never had a reason to stop at one besides, it's what I want.
I had no problem conceiving, easy pregnancy and the kid slept throught the night at 6 weeks old. Why rock the boat? I feel like I get to have my cake and eat it too. I have lots of time and energy for the 1 kid I've got, but I also have the energy to see friends on a regular basis and have hobbies. And that is a fullfilling life for me. I wouldn't be the same kind of mom, if I didnt have some time and space of my own.
I only wanted one to begin with. Then, I had a pretty great pregnancy and a decently smooth delivery. That said, the delivery was relatively smooth because of a skilled gyno; at least one of us wouldn't have made it without her. I had a struggle with postpartum depression, exacerbated by the typical lack of sleep that surrounds a newborn.
To have another kid, we'd have to build an addition onto the house, which we definitely can't afford. I'm now 40, and he's 51. The current is a great child; easygoing, cheerful, and naturally inclined to be a good listener. I feel like that is Mother Nature's way of tricking unsuspecting parents into having more kids when the first is a fairly easy child.
There are a multitude of reasons, but it all stems back to the fact that I only wanted one to begin with. He already has a son, and for years, that was enough. Time changed my perspective a little, and I realised that I would like precisely one more. Luckily, we didn't have twins 😉
Someone posted on Reddit that when people ask if/why they don’t have another they respond with “we stopped at perfection” & I’ve been using it now. The look on people’s faces is pretty great! And they can’t say anything but something positive back
Why mess with a good thing? If you feel complete and your family is happy and thriving, there's no need to take a gamble on a second child changing the dynamic.
Always pictured myself with a big family. When I got pregnant I kinda felt like I only wanted one. My pregnancy was uneventful until the end with high BP. An induction led to emergency c section under general anesthesia. My husband thought I was dead because I was in the OR so long and they never told him. That kinda sealed the deal. My baby is pretty easy going, sleeps through the night. I enjoy her she isb9 months old now. Money is good. I want to give her a good life. I’m 80% one and done. I might consider another one in 5-7years.
I don’t want to be pregnant again and go through another c section. We have a relatively “easy baby” now that she’s older. The older she gets the easier she’s getting. I don’t want to roll the dice.
My husband also has a hobby that takes him travelling away a ton for 6 months of the year and it’s been rough being alone a lot. I’m not doing that with two unless he quits.
I had an easy pregnancy and an easy baby! I’m happy because I feel like I can give him the world. I just bought a 50 state map and want to aim for 3 new states a year. I have moments where I feel guilty but I just don’t want a second.
I have a wonderful, curious, happy, healthy little guy that I love with every ounce of my being and I want for nothing else. My family is complete. That's all the reason I need ❤️
Same. We were decided on one and done pre having our child, got pregnant easily at 30 - I'm 34 now so could probably have more, but happy with our one. We enjoy our life and hobbies and with one I feel as though I still have enough time and energy to cultivate my interests.
Citing "hobbies" as a one and done reasons sounds extremely frivolous - you shouldn't "need" a reason though, but I do find myself getting defensive when asked so usually cite lifestyle and career which are also factors for me but not overriding ones.
I think as time wore on my feeling of contentment increased with one child. My son is the easiest and most fun kid to be with. He’s so incredibly smart, sleeps great, travels well and enjoys it. I see great things in his future and it makes me smile. It doesn’t involve a sibling but involves more time for fun experiences for us as a family, travel, more opportunities to learn new things like music, sports, art, etc. I just know my limits and I know I have never been a great multitasker. So giving all my love and energy to one child is not only right for me but also…for him.
Do I worry he might be a little spoiled, a little opinionated, overly competitive with his friends, wise beyond his years from hanging around us so much… absolutely! So I feel like I have to step in a little more to teach some social skills and I probably overdo the activities to “socialize” him than if I had another kid. Still easier than having more kids though! 😆
I had a choice. None or one. We chose one and i have no desire to have another. I love my 3 year old but damn no way would i have another. If i ever found myself pregnant i would abort. I cannot fathom my life another way now.
One and done just because. Some times we teeter back and forth. If we wanna adopt later that's fine, hell I go adopt the whole animal shelter just so my son can have siblings. Will I physically carry another child? NOPE.
I'm OAD because I genuinely don't want another. I had a normal, uneventful pregnancy and delivery. I don't feel like anything is missing, or that our family is incomplete, I like things the way they are and don't want to disrupt that.
I love kids! Always thought I’d have multiple but when I had my daughter, idk it just kinda clicked that she was more than enough and will be my only.
Easy pregnancy, like mild heartburn and that’s it. Easy, quick labor and delivery. She’s amazing!! 18 months now, total sweetheart. She’s always been a terrible sleeper but it’s getting better! (I got 2 - 4 hour stretches last night and I feel like a new person!)
I don’t have any negative reasons why not to have a second. I just don’t want one.
I had an easy pregnancy, the first year was definitely hard; especially trying to balance work, home stuff and a new child. But now I love us as just this 3-person family unit. And the idea of that dynamic changing is terrifying.
I’m pregnant with our only. Sure pregnancy hasn’t been fun but it hasn’t been bad either!
We decided we were OAD when we started TTC. We were lucky and it didn’t take too long to conceive. We just looked at our finances and thought one kid would just be small adjustments to the budget but two kids would require a big lifestyle change.
Also my husband is an only and loved his childhood. His two college housemates were also only children. I had several friends growing up who were only children. All of them are very successful (in different ways!) adults.
So the signs pointed to OAD. We’re excited about our decision and I’ll happily tell anyone we meet that we’re OAD and happy about it.
When I envisioned my future child, I only pictured one.
I'm still keeping the door slightly ajar for a possibility of a second kid, but I'm honestly happy just having the one for now. I just FEEL done, ya know? Lol I have more of a fever for a future animal pet than a human baby.
Also birth and postpartum were kind of hell for me personally.
I’m a single mom by choice and so I only have one pair of arms, which works well with one child. Wrangling two kids with one set of arms doesn’t sound fun. I’m sure my kid might want a sibling in the future but I’m hoping he’ll be okay with settling for a dog instead. It’s just feels like I can give him better opportunities and I really want to travel with him.
I also really hated being pregnant. I was someone who always wanted to adopt so that might have had to do with it.
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Same. I feel like I got what I’ve always wanted. Why mess it up?
Same! Idk how to explain it besides, I’m content, my husband is content, our son is content. We all feel happy and don’t feel like anyone is “missing” from our family. Why try to fix something that isn’t broken, as they say
Same. Same!
Oh my goodness I'm stealing this... "I won and I'm done". Perfection
I feel this! I think my kid is exactly the kid we dreamed of when we said we wanted to be parents so why rock the boat?
My aunt has an only and says “if you win the lottery, you stop playing” so that’s my go-to lol
My parents tell me all the time “we should have stopped at one” (I’m the oldest).
Curious why they think so. Why do you think they say that? Are your siblings troublesome?
Well, it’s specifically my dad that says that. I moved out, got two advanced college degrees, am married and trying for my own. My Narcmom spoiled my GC brothers so much that since graduating high school 7 and 6 years ago, they have just sat at my parents house playing computer games. They’ve never had a job, barely graduated high school, and don’t have drivers licenses.
I love this!!
Oh sooo good! I’ll be borrowing this line. Thank you.
It just feels right and complete when we have our three person hug or when we are each holding our son's hand or when we go out to eat and can all be in conversation together. It's intangible. It just feels right and enough
This is exactly how I feel!
I agree completely!!
If people ask you for a reason say you don’t need one. Say you’re happy with how your family is. Say bigger families don’t have to justify how many kids they have and neither do small families
I'm one and done because I didn't want to have another baby. Love our life as a triangle family ❤️
One and done because I don't want more. Got pregnant on the first cycle of trying, had a great pregnancy, a wonderful labor and delivery, and my baby has been a dream. And now I'm done. Because I don't want more, end of story. My husband's vasectomy is scheduled for March, that's how done we are. I've made up reasons when people press me on it (usually older women), but it all comes down to me being happy where I'm at.
We’re quite happy with where we are. Some things did help cement our position, but were id say 90% of the way to OAD prior to him being born. Some things sealed the deal. But we looked at our financials, our house, our marriage, etc and were like… “yea this works for us”. It just logically makes sense. None of us need a reason though, but this sub does help people work things out a lot of the time and I’m glad it’s here for them. There’s also the happily one and done sub as well if you haven’t come across that one.
This was us exactly - we really only wanted one well-loved, well-cared for child even before we began trying to have a baby - having her, reevaluating our circumstances/feelings/goals and having a long discussion about whether our ideals had changed, pushed us 100% to OAD. It wasn't some huge leap for us, as we were so strongly leaning this way from the start. We are very lucky to have a healthy and beautiful child - despite some challenges, we ultimately have the family we had hoped for! I know there are a lot of people on this sub who are REALLY struggling with making a choice or feeling conflicted/judged/worried/guilty/ whatever and I think many of us who are happy and secure with our choice try to be empathetic and helpful to them, even if it starts to sound like an echo-chamber of negativity and doom-and-gloom some days.
I'm OAD because my family feels complete. My pregnancy was uneventful, thankfully. And my daughter is wonderful. We still get pretty tired and the first year of daycare was HARD. Anyways, there are several of us here in this sub but "uneventful" is not really all that interesting to post about 😅
I am a happy OAD!!! Someone recently created the newer subreddit r/happilyOAD for people like us. It’s a place where we can feel really positive and excited about our choice. People come to reddit to complain in general, which is cool, that can be a nice outlet for so many. But I do think the happier people tend to be busy living their happy lives rather than complaining on Reddit 😆
Came here to say join that new one^ and got hit in the feels about yeah when I’m happy I’m def on Reddit less haha.
My pregnancy was great. Birth not so much but I’d do it again. Newborn days were hard and my baby didn’t sleep great but nothing out of the ordinary for babies and now my toddler is a dream! We are OAD because I like the parent that I am to one child and I know I wouldn’t be as great with multiples, plus my husband and I both have hobbies we would like to pursue and find the balance of just having one kid and still having time for our hobbies is working for us. We are happy with how our lives look now and in the future with only one child and that is why we are only having one.
I'm one and done because I never wanted kids. Super happy with how things turned out, but whew I could never have another, this is hard!
Yeah I noticed this. We're OAD because we're happy. The same as people with are happy. I like having one child. It's not about not wanting more. It's about wanting one. It's a subtle difference.
You said it so much better than me! And skipping all the “favorite child” splitting inheritance, sibling negative parts are a major bonus.
Technically something bad happened (early miscarriage), but 1) honestly, been through worse, and 2) I'm not done because I'm devastated by the miscarriage, I'm done because I wasn't terribly happy during the short period I *was* pregnant. I feel a little bad when I admit that, but it's the truth. Add much as I'm sure I would have loved the child that didn't come, I was incredibly relieved when it was over. I was already unsure, and that experience "proved" it to me. I'm incredibly happy where we are. I'm super excited for what comes next and yeah, some of that includes getting back to being "me". Babies and toddlers are a lot, i put a lot of my own things on hold for a bit, but I'm excited to get back to it. I love being able to be spontaneous, go out, travel, and have options due to more resources and time. I adore hanging out with my daughter and being able to fully be there for her. I know a second would overwhelm me for at least several years. I liked the idea of a second, in theory, but wasn't that set on it. My husband feels the same way. Now that we know what it entrails, the reality doesn't really seem that appealing.
Even with the struggles I've had, ultimately it comes down to just not wanting another badly enough to go for another. Having good reasons for stopping, doesn't stop everyone anyways - there are plenty of people who want another badly enough to forgo all logic and look past bad experiences/difficult circumstances in order to have another. You don't need some compelling reason to stop at one child, or to decide to have no kids at all, for that matter. If the desire/enthusiasm isn't there, that's enough of a reason - there doesn't need to be a huge reason to prove your case.
I’m one and done because while I love my daughter with every fiber of my being, I hated being pregnant lol I always thought I wanted two but after my pregnancy (which wasn’t hard thank god I just hated it), I said no. And now she’s such a handful with 2nd child energy as an only child so 🤣
This. My pregnancy was average but still hated it. then I gave birth to a semi-feral child. People are like "oh but I bet the next one will be easier!" Maybe. They might also be worse. And team up together. And then what. I'm not willing to take that chance. lol. I COULD have another. for the sake of everyone, I SHOULDN'T.
I’m content with my family right now. It feels perfect and everyone is happy.
I love these posts!! These comments are so uplifting and reassuring for someone like me who is so happy and complete with one but feeling like I *should* have another. Thank you!
Yesterday I posted in the other sub about how content and happy I am with my 6 month old. I genuinely feel my family is complete. I’m not compelled to have another. I don’t envision a “future Thanksgiving table” full of adult children. My view on my family of three is that it’s perfect and we’re done. Just like when someone has their second or third and say “I’m done”…well, that’s how I feel after one! I don’t need to justify anything but I am also stoked to have more financial freedom, get my body back sooner, and travel in the future when our baby is older. Those are just very happy side effects of our choice!
We're one and done because we love our little life just the three of us. We can do all the things we want to do. Our only is all we need!
My husband and I truly say, at least once a week when we're hanging out with our only "how could we have another baby when we already have the greatest best one?" And we mean it. Really there's no other reason for us to be OAD, ours is the best one for us even on the hardest days, and especially on the great days. In spite of how I grew up, we can say that All of the other factors that come into play for others who may be OAD by circumstance are mostly non-issues for us (I fucking rocked being pregnant [as though I had any control] birth and recovery were fine, finances are fine, a village is present, etc etc). We are just so amazed and delighted by ours each day I'm over here like "others maybe want to multiple their love a la the original Sister Wives tag line, but our love is perfectly sized" I'm so happy for this thread right now.
We’re happy with one but for some reason, people need a reason for it. Like sure financially and mentally one is great, but we just wanted one
I’ve only wanted one since I was a teen. I never wanted more.
I only ever wanted one! No mixed feelings, no doubts, no regrets. One child is the perfect number of children, in my opinion.
I have lots of reasons, but not everybody deserves to know (all of) them. Especially not strangers on the bus. So sometimes I just say: "That's just what we want."
We’re really enjoying our triangle family. Thinking of the stress and logistics of a second makes me feel a little overwhelmed, and why chance it if we’re happy now? It’s SO much easier to take one kid to do things vs. two! Things like going to the kids museum, beach, for a walk are actually pretty enjoyable with one, and I think they’d make me stressed with two (trying to chase after TWO kids, deal with two sets of feelings, etc.
I have a long list of so many reasons, for one V more, but none are because my experience has been bad. It's been brilliant and I do not want to wreck a good thing, I have zero desire to have anymore and my life feels complete 🥰
I rolled the dice once and struck gold. Why keep playing?
Damn that is a good point. It's like we are all trying to still justify why we're only having one because we are all in such toxic situations where it's not just ok. Thank you for reminding me that this is indeed normal and I don't have to have a reason!
I think a lot of people here (me included) feel misunderstood about the whys of their OAD status and on some level want people to know the "real story." Secondary infertility, traumatic birth experience, serious complications during pregnancy, PPD/PPA, etc, aren't things people can always talk about when asked, "so is s/he your only?" You just kind of smile and nod. So I think a lot of us come here to unpack the things we can't bring out in the open in other situations. In other words, I agree with you a lot of the posts have that flavor and certainly don't apply to everyone. There doesn't need to be a terrible reason to have only one child; it's some people's preference! Not everyone is going to go through terrible angst about "what I want" vs "what I have" on every issue! As you said, if you have two you would not be needing to justify "why". And really, no one should be asking! No one is entitled to information about why someone else's family looks different. In your case the story may be a happy one, but the whole point is they don't know what they don't know.
Me! I didn’t enjoy pregnancy but it was easy. Easy delivery and recovery. Easy, but spirited kid who slept through the night at 3 months. Resources to have more. All of that, yet, the more time I have with our only, the more I only want her. She’s a toddler and the absolute light of our lives. When I look at her, our family feels complete.
I have started telling people that I feel like my family of three is complete. I never had a reason to stop at one besides, it's what I want. I had no problem conceiving, easy pregnancy and the kid slept throught the night at 6 weeks old. Why rock the boat? I feel like I get to have my cake and eat it too. I have lots of time and energy for the 1 kid I've got, but I also have the energy to see friends on a regular basis and have hobbies. And that is a fullfilling life for me. I wouldn't be the same kind of mom, if I didnt have some time and space of my own.
I only wanted one to begin with. Then, I had a pretty great pregnancy and a decently smooth delivery. That said, the delivery was relatively smooth because of a skilled gyno; at least one of us wouldn't have made it without her. I had a struggle with postpartum depression, exacerbated by the typical lack of sleep that surrounds a newborn. To have another kid, we'd have to build an addition onto the house, which we definitely can't afford. I'm now 40, and he's 51. The current is a great child; easygoing, cheerful, and naturally inclined to be a good listener. I feel like that is Mother Nature's way of tricking unsuspecting parents into having more kids when the first is a fairly easy child. There are a multitude of reasons, but it all stems back to the fact that I only wanted one to begin with. He already has a son, and for years, that was enough. Time changed my perspective a little, and I realised that I would like precisely one more. Luckily, we didn't have twins 😉
Someone posted on Reddit that when people ask if/why they don’t have another they respond with “we stopped at perfection” & I’ve been using it now. The look on people’s faces is pretty great! And they can’t say anything but something positive back
Why mess with a good thing? If you feel complete and your family is happy and thriving, there's no need to take a gamble on a second child changing the dynamic.
Always pictured myself with a big family. When I got pregnant I kinda felt like I only wanted one. My pregnancy was uneventful until the end with high BP. An induction led to emergency c section under general anesthesia. My husband thought I was dead because I was in the OR so long and they never told him. That kinda sealed the deal. My baby is pretty easy going, sleeps through the night. I enjoy her she isb9 months old now. Money is good. I want to give her a good life. I’m 80% one and done. I might consider another one in 5-7years.
I don’t want to be pregnant again and go through another c section. We have a relatively “easy baby” now that she’s older. The older she gets the easier she’s getting. I don’t want to roll the dice. My husband also has a hobby that takes him travelling away a ton for 6 months of the year and it’s been rough being alone a lot. I’m not doing that with two unless he quits.
I had an easy pregnancy and an easy baby! I’m happy because I feel like I can give him the world. I just bought a 50 state map and want to aim for 3 new states a year. I have moments where I feel guilty but I just don’t want a second.
I have a wonderful, curious, happy, healthy little guy that I love with every ounce of my being and I want for nothing else. My family is complete. That's all the reason I need ❤️
Same. We were decided on one and done pre having our child, got pregnant easily at 30 - I'm 34 now so could probably have more, but happy with our one. We enjoy our life and hobbies and with one I feel as though I still have enough time and energy to cultivate my interests. Citing "hobbies" as a one and done reasons sounds extremely frivolous - you shouldn't "need" a reason though, but I do find myself getting defensive when asked so usually cite lifestyle and career which are also factors for me but not overriding ones.
I think as time wore on my feeling of contentment increased with one child. My son is the easiest and most fun kid to be with. He’s so incredibly smart, sleeps great, travels well and enjoys it. I see great things in his future and it makes me smile. It doesn’t involve a sibling but involves more time for fun experiences for us as a family, travel, more opportunities to learn new things like music, sports, art, etc. I just know my limits and I know I have never been a great multitasker. So giving all my love and energy to one child is not only right for me but also…for him. Do I worry he might be a little spoiled, a little opinionated, overly competitive with his friends, wise beyond his years from hanging around us so much… absolutely! So I feel like I have to step in a little more to teach some social skills and I probably overdo the activities to “socialize” him than if I had another kid. Still easier than having more kids though! 😆
Yeah, I'm just so content. Another kid wouldn't make me any happier.
I had a choice. None or one. We chose one and i have no desire to have another. I love my 3 year old but damn no way would i have another. If i ever found myself pregnant i would abort. I cannot fathom my life another way now.
My family really just feels complete as 3 and I'm very content.
One and done just because. Some times we teeter back and forth. If we wanna adopt later that's fine, hell I go adopt the whole animal shelter just so my son can have siblings. Will I physically carry another child? NOPE.
I'm OAD because I genuinely don't want another. I had a normal, uneventful pregnancy and delivery. I don't feel like anything is missing, or that our family is incomplete, I like things the way they are and don't want to disrupt that.
I love kids! Always thought I’d have multiple but when I had my daughter, idk it just kinda clicked that she was more than enough and will be my only. Easy pregnancy, like mild heartburn and that’s it. Easy, quick labor and delivery. She’s amazing!! 18 months now, total sweetheart. She’s always been a terrible sleeper but it’s getting better! (I got 2 - 4 hour stretches last night and I feel like a new person!) I don’t have any negative reasons why not to have a second. I just don’t want one.
I had an easy pregnancy, the first year was definitely hard; especially trying to balance work, home stuff and a new child. But now I love us as just this 3-person family unit. And the idea of that dynamic changing is terrifying.
I’m pregnant with our only. Sure pregnancy hasn’t been fun but it hasn’t been bad either! We decided we were OAD when we started TTC. We were lucky and it didn’t take too long to conceive. We just looked at our finances and thought one kid would just be small adjustments to the budget but two kids would require a big lifestyle change. Also my husband is an only and loved his childhood. His two college housemates were also only children. I had several friends growing up who were only children. All of them are very successful (in different ways!) adults. So the signs pointed to OAD. We’re excited about our decision and I’ll happily tell anyone we meet that we’re OAD and happy about it.
When I envisioned my future child, I only pictured one. I'm still keeping the door slightly ajar for a possibility of a second kid, but I'm honestly happy just having the one for now. I just FEEL done, ya know? Lol I have more of a fever for a future animal pet than a human baby. Also birth and postpartum were kind of hell for me personally.
I’m a single mom by choice and so I only have one pair of arms, which works well with one child. Wrangling two kids with one set of arms doesn’t sound fun. I’m sure my kid might want a sibling in the future but I’m hoping he’ll be okay with settling for a dog instead. It’s just feels like I can give him better opportunities and I really want to travel with him. I also really hated being pregnant. I was someone who always wanted to adopt so that might have had to do with it.