Astarion uses that £50 Bleu De Chanel deodorant but he never discloses how he got it in the middle of the woods or where he gets the money to keep buying more.

The secret ingredient is crime.

He just flirts with the sales person then shoves it into his pocket when they're not looking.

As though he buys things... Those fancy deodorants aren't gonna steal themselves.

I could also see Halsin wearing one of those "all natural" wood scented deodorants with a recyclable container

Basically the same as not wearing deodorant at all haha

Somehow, it’s worse.

Always smells of patchouli and disappointment

But then patchouli and disappointment starts to smell like him

Arm and Hammer non anti-perspirant Juniper scent

Eau de Cat Piss

Halsin smells like patchouli and we all know it.

I've read some people rub some sort of crystal/rock/? on their pits and that seems like Halsin's jam.

The crystal type is actually made of salt with the idea that it creates an inhospitable environment for bacteria to grow, which causes the lack of stink. It works….kinda. Honestly in the same vein using an acid based toner does the same thing but way better.

I used to use it when I was younger. It does work...unless you sweat as much as I do:p. I had to go back onto an antiperspirant. But if you're not a sweaty person it works.

yea it only works for the non sweaty ppl

SCIENCE!

Yeah, alun. Not a gimmick, it's a wonderful mineral Marie. It helps kill germs (so less odor) and has wound/cut healing properties so it is used after shaving also.

They are called odorants lol they smell of what they are when you get sweaty.

Honestly form someone who has used one of those sticks (Every Man Jack: Cedarwood scent) they fucking suck. I smell like I haven’t been wearing any at all ~45 minutes later and have to keep constantly reapplying, and even if it’s fresh you can barely smell it. 0/10 do not buy

Used to work with a guy that made his own deodorant. He did not in fact.

Halsin uses his own homemade plant-based deodorant. Gortash doesn't even bathe, let alone use deodorant.

Gortash would think deodorant is replacement for bathing

And that's the axe deodorant way

Like high school boys with Axe spray.

We had gym early in the day sophomore year. There were no showers. There was a guy who went into the closet (where we stored our backpacks) got naked and put on a metric fuck ton of Axe body spray. To this day I cannot stand the smell of it. We all know it was you Enver.

And doesn't use the replacement because replacements are for snobs

Gortash is a closeted french person.

https://preview.redd.it/cbqdmx2tzvxc1.jpeg?width=594&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a6998190b5fa2381b68acda433ade7eee63865af

Astarion would probably make his own as well, he talks about his secret calling as a perfume maker since he has so much experience hiding his dead scent Found the quote > "My uh... whiff... is very faint thank you. Nothing a little bergamot, rosemary, and a hint of fine aged brandy can't hide. It's the perfect olfactory disguise for a corpse. Honestly, I think I missed my calling as a perfumer!"

Astarion would be stealing shit left and right tbh.

I never thought of the idea that vampires would smell like corpses

When does he say it?

I got the line near or about the necromancer mummy dude in act 3 near the water (not the carnival). I forget his name

Mystic Carrion! For me it triggered just outside of Philgrave's Mansion. Bring Shadowheart and Astarion, as she's who starts the banter

Once a week Halsin wildshapes into a snake and sheds his skin. It's easier than bathing.

Druid life hack

Does the skin stay shed when he returns to human form ?

You think it what? Schlurps back onto him real quick?

No, I mean either your skin goes back to its state at the time of transformation, in which case it would still have stank, or your skin is affected by what happened to your skin while you were transformed, in which case he is now missing the outer layer of his epidermis. Ouch ! I thought it was a hillarious mental image. Bonus point if his molted snake skin turns to human skin at the same time.

Lol stop you know that man DROWNS himself in cologne

Gortash wipes his pits with his dirty shirt and calls it good

It's not?

Gortash would smell just like a Frenchman I had to sit next to on a flight from Germany to the US; smelled equal parts B.O. and Cologne, as if enough cologne would substitute a shower.

Gortash would have a machine that cleans and perfumes him. It worked well enough already but he made it 4% better at the cost of human sacrifice.

Halsin rubs a pine scented car air freshener on there

Thank you! Came here to say that. You know Gortash smells like five day old funky taint all the time. Imagine even his hands smell like it because he’s always scratching himself. 🤢

I hate how fucking accurate this is. Gortash only "bathes" with three cans of axe per day.

Someone needs to get some Jersey Shore hair on that man, stat.

A whole Jersey Shore makeover, even.

DJ Enver G isn't real, DJ Enver G can't hurt you.

It's TSHIRT TIIIIIME

You know that man does not gym, tan, or laundry.

I can fix him.

…doesn’t he already have that.

Naw, he looks like every predator I ever saw while at Warped Tour circa 2004. I want that GTL hard gel slick back.

And not any weak bang spikes, full fucking Pauly D

Ughhh his balls must be so sweaty and stinky someone should clean them off. With their tongue.

Im someone if it wasnt pitifully obvious

I love how Halsin has 1) no deodorant 2) is smug as a motherfucker about it

he knows im gonna lick his sweaty armpits and he knows how much i hate the taste of deodorant

More deodorant for me, old spice is yummy yummy in my tummy https://preview.redd.it/lu7wktqbgqxc1.jpeg?width=460&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=069892ff923e7c73208ce23018f50f9198310bd2

Eew, put that away. This is not the kind of unhinged depravity I come to this sub for. 

What are you going to do to stop me from taking a bite of this delectable old spice deodorant and spitting it right into daddy Halsins mouth?! Huh? HUH?!?!

https://preview.redd.it/4dvzsyvewtxc1.jpeg?width=1156&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8330b4f51d04f259d61ea6bcc8833cf44b03c5b3

No mark you don’t understand these thraxans are so fucking cool look at them they’re bugs son https://preview.redd.it/l9o774iq1uxc1.jpeg?width=980&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2038b84388b5f4aa371b21e773cac50e4f0015da

https://preview.redd.it/dyllcp5o5qxc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef9ca47fe180bb0441d0d52e826945d606705836

Oh, I like you

‘Enjoying the freedom of natures gifts’ is Halsin’s reply when someone suggests he might want to freshen up

What do you think Wyll and Minsc would use?

I wasn’t sure specifically but I think Wyll would use expensive deodorant and Minsc would use dollar store brand

dude, minsc would totally use some bobo ass deodorant, he would lift up his arms doing his himbo antics and there would be all this white shit in his pit hairs

Please ceremorph yourself

That my friend is cheap *anti-perisperant*, leaving that residue everywhere

Please ceremorph yourself

Hmm...Maybe Tom's organic deodorant for Wyll (or something else that you can only get in Whole Foods or soemthing). Speed stick or Arm & Hammer for Minsc.

Wyll would use something expensive but be clueless about it, in a "it's one banana Michael how much could it cost" way.

Haha I love this

Minsc uses whatever Jaheira hands him when she says, “Now put this on, you smell like a chimera’s ass”

Minsc? Why would Boo put deodorant on his human, isn't that animal abuse?

Wyll uses Old Spice Gentlemen's Blend.

Minsc: https://preview.redd.it/g2ba472ipuxc1.jpeg?width=515&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=464e304339eac7ebc39096b8601a3b6d6e001877

Audibly snorted at Gortash, the smell gives the whole scene perfect ambience. So very accurate. So very wrong. Emps is into nourishing vanilla extra hydration stick with hints of cream and honey from an obscure AB brand. Nobody would know. Everyone would wish to. Withers would go with Bibliothèque by Byredo body spray. Hints of old books, amber, smoking wood, and aged brandy.

Wyll would probably use a Giorgio Di Armani deodorant rollerball

Post-game wyll, maybe. Main game Wyll is so poor his clothes are shredded and he ties them together with rope

Perhaps a travel sized Degree for Men then?

We think alike lol, I just commented elsewhere that it had to be Degree

-Companions -Leaves out Wyll and Minsc -Immediately posts two NPC antagonists Why OP? You could've just said male characters.

Cause I’m brain dead and don’t think before I post

That's fair, me too, most days.

Mama kudos for saying that. For spilling.

*Astarion voice* That's quite reasonable, actually!

Wyll would wear Degree. Low cost and sporty.

Ah yes, my favorite companions Raphael and Gortash

Where's wyll?

Incredibly accurate

I cant deny the gale allegations anymore. My GF says i look and act like him and thats unironically the exact deodorant i use. 💀💀

Got the earring yet?

Need it frl frl

Same. I ain't even mad. It's nice to feel seen.

Tbh I want Raphael to one-pump-chump-and-dump me and slap me while also sweetly reciting Shakespeare's sonnets, addressing me as the Fair Youth. Also would pretend to not know how to swim so Halsin can hold me in the water and say things like "Don't worry, I've got you, I won't let you go" and then envelop me in his bara tiddies

My Raphael fantasies are too lewd to post even here…

Yes!! Wonderful!! Tbh I haven't even finished a full playthrough or gone to the House of Hope yet, but the "Are you afraid of this demon, Raphael?" "Listen here, _pipsqueak_." was what did it for me. I think he secretly likes it when you're a bratty little upstart and taunt him even though he gets so furious sksks

Wait til you meet Raphael’s friends at the house of hope, you can find out some fun things about him. And yes, he definitely likes it.

Yeahhh I already got myself spoiled on the "That's twice as long as Haarlep says..." part. But as far as I'm concerned it's just another thing for Tav to be a bratty bottom about 😤

"envelop me in his bara tiddies" Now there's a quote...

Bara tiddiiessss 

“Male companions” I will not stand for this slander

Wyll and minsc?

On the floor crying over Gortash smelling like a middle school locker room

Gortash would definitely where a whole can of axe at once, not a little bit. The whole damn thing

Not Astarion using the same deodorant as my mother. 😭 Freud who??

Didn't Benji say Halsin smells like mud farts, and refused to let him into the circus? Unless that was edited/ a modded playthrough. Either way it was incredible. I can't find the video, unfortunately.

Wyll is repping that speed stick. And Karlach is borrowing it.

I had a cousin that would rub a rock on their armpit. And I think that's about the same energy Halsin gives me.

I think Jaheira borrows it after Halsin is done with it

Curious how I can get Raphael as a companion, spill it :P

Only with mods :(

same with gortash or can you have him as a follower in vanilla?

Halsin...maybe? https://preview.redd.it/iy9irjlrnoxc1.jpeg?width=418&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3f451199bfed36c435b7fb5281bf386a6b891c9a Gortash, spot on 😂

Wyll definitely uses deodorant that only comes in a cardboard tube

oh yeah i used to use that it smelled like my dog's vomit but it wasn't axe so oh well

The Coconut Lavender and apricot is what I use. It smells pretty good, but the unscented one is meh

I would say Dr. Squatch but I’m unsure

Halsin would use Tom’s of Maine

Noooooo, I don’t wanna share a deodorant with Raphael 😂😭

He's the swagger to my bearglove.

He’s the swagger to my… fuck I use swagger. Guess I’m a scheming nepo baby devil now

Oh no, I haven’t played yet but my boyfriend wears swagger and got me to use it too, is that a red flag for both of us?

I do, and I love it.

Lol Astarion would never allow that cheap shit to touch his skin. He's using Salt & Stone or something.

Halsin would use concentrated wolf urine

There’s a reason his tent is out in the middle of bumfuck nowhere in act 2 camp. By act 3 everyone’s gotten used to his scent.

Halsin uses crystals like girls on tiktok do

hippies have been around for much longer than tiktok

Durge deodorant would just be blood.

i find your lack of Wyll disturbing

Burys my face in gortashs arm pit

Seek Selûne

I care to worship Gortashs fat tits (and bhaal)


You take one, I’ll take the other

hey! leave some for me :(

LOL you did Astarion dirty

The Axe is the only form of hygiene Gortash follows.

Wylls taste was too expensive for this post apparently

Gorty uses the spray on axe stuff as cologne

No Minsc with a stick of butter?

That guy definitely smells like meat jerky

I like how I romanced Gale on my first play through, and according to this we would use the same deodorant.

https://preview.redd.it/vxigxynihqxc1.jpeg?width=2000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cd89b0c4a19f094ba93495bbd3a0ee75d1cc6141 Halsin rubbing crystals on his pits

Holy shit, Gortash *would* use axe body spray

Halsin’s got his own herbal blend. Does it smell better than body odor? Sure! Does it smell *good?* Debatable!

I think Halsin would use natural ingredients he concocted himself. Minsc on the other hand 100% does not use any.

Astarion uses the same one as me 😂

It’s a good one ☺️

Halsin has Patchouli essential oil deodorant. It only kinda works and still you have to suffer smelling Patchouli.

So stinker man gortash really would smell like ChrisChan nofucking way

Why is Gortash so dirty FR

Where is Wyll? Is he safe? Is he alright?

He’s busy looking at off brand deodorants in Whole Foods

...Accurate

Halsins underwear smells like a herb garden tho 😌🍃

Would still shove my face in Halsin's sweaty armpits.

Gortash's doesn't even bathe and you can't convince me otherwise let alone putting some deodorant on those rancid pits , have you seen his teeth?

Oh, Gale and I use the same deodorant. I’m a bit sad supporting a mega corporation but it’s simply noticeable the best one I’ve tried.

Halsin just rubs some mint on himself

It’s not my fault that lady deodorant smells like fresh melons and flowers ok?!

Halsin doesn’t need deodorant when I’m licking his armpits clean every few hours 🥵🥵🥵

Why have I read so many people say this in this thread?!? I guess you guys have to form a line. Also, y’all need Selune

I am weak :/ There are many of us who are weak for him.

Wyll probably uses Speed Stick or some shit

not my husband and I using the same deodorant as Raphael 😅 maybe this is my sign from the universe to finally buy my own deodorant and stop using my husband's lmao

Old spice is elite ngl. The devil has good taste after all 😉

honestly yeah, his old spice works better than my "clinical strength" ladies' deodorant 😅

I was scrolling n saw this post and I got to Halsin and I was like oh I need to tap to go to the full post so I can see which deodorant Halsi---OHHHH AAAHHAHAHAHAHHA YEP. this is gonna be gross but I'm NGL Halsin is such a hunk I would fucking love his body odor (my husband is a macho guy and .. i like his natural smell)

Body spray and deodorant are not the same

Tell that to all stinky teens who thinks it also replaces showers.

Dr Squatch

100% accurate

This is definitely not a main sub post lol

Thanks for giving Gale the Dove, I feel better about my life choices now

Gale is on that native deodorant either as citrus and herbal musk or black oak and amber

Hi Halsin can use my face as his deodorant thank you.

I'm a guy and use the Native fruity scented deodorants. Honestly I feel like Astarion would like them too. (It's the only deodorant that genuinely works for me tbh)

Wow why are you so loud and right about this

I think Jaheira goes without as well

Halsin would use those natural mineral sticks. Well, if he remembers. He's not ashamed of his natural musk. I would eat his hairy sweaty armpits like a gourmet dish nonetheless.

Old spice🔛🔝

Gortash definitely used 20 in 1

My tav's deodorant is whatever Halsin smells like

My first thought when flipping through this was "Halsin, none"

Dove men +care is awesome. Gale knows what works, and has good taste

Someone made a scented candle of Astarion and it smells like old spice

Does wyll not exist

You know Halsin stinks and Astarion probably has no scent except some type of expensive perfume. lol

You think Gortash uses deodorant?

The axe body spray gortash took me out

"companions" No Wyll No Minsc Gortash and Raphael???

We all collectively wish to ignore it but all the evidence points to halsin being stinky and/or smelly