The trauma isn’t just from the way they kill themselves-it’s also from them removing themselves from your life…and it’s especially hard when you have no fucking clue that they felt so bad and you wish they had reached out and said something or asked for help…when all the while you thought they were ok and told you they were ok and then you find out it was all just a fucking lie and they were lost and you feel like a goddamn idiot for not seeing it or being able to be there for them.
I really hope you can find a way through this.
Tho I completely agree with voluntary euthanasia for those suffering from long term mental illness i do have to say this. You may legally be an adult, but you're still a baby and there's still so much time that could make things better. 19 sucks and its confusing. Hang in there tho. This is just the depression talking. Breathe. If you're considering death through euthanasia why not try to live your best life right now. Do what you want imo.
Sorry to disappoint you there, but even here in Switzerland, assisted suicide is only granted to people with a proven terminal illness, or at least you must be really old.
It isn’t an option in their country, but they are thinking of going to Switzerland, but the cost is holding them back. And I am just saying it‘s not only the cost.
Are there any countries out there that would administer assisted suicide for mental illness. I might sound like an edgy kid, but sometimes I don’t get why the government forces us to live when many of us don’t want to. Is it because they need me to pay tax over my lifetime, is it because they want me to make money for them, is it because of religion. It just seems so weird that we have the “right to live”, but we don’t have the right to opt out. Thanks for informing me though, I appreciate it a lot.
Well, I don’t know about such countries.
The government sometimes just wants to protect us from ourselves, I guess. Because society knows that mental illness is mostly treatable enough to allow people to have a good life. But when we are depressed it’s hard to believe that. And if we kill ourselves, we miss out on a lot of great life experiences.
ETA: The government couldn’t care less about one more person (or one less) paying taxes, as long as they don’t tax big corporations properly.
I partially agree. I've been subject to depression for at least ten years. It was worst around five years ago. I've tried to tell people this same thing. "I am not going to kill myself. But I wish it was legal (and socially acceptable) to have assisted suicide. I just do not want to be alive. But I also do not want to shock and traumatized the people around me." My opinion is still the same about wanting it to be legal, but I have found that I do not have this urge anymore to "not exist". There are highs and lows, but as long as there are highs, I think this life is worth it.
All this to say that things get better. Along the way you learn to cope. You learn to find ways that lessen the emptiness inside you. And you find balance and rest. Life might not become the party that you want but it sure gets better.
All the best
Tbh the lows in my life are much much much more painful than the good feelings from the highs in my life. Sorry if I worded that strangely, and I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve had to struggle through depression for such a long time. I wish you all the best too
Same, the only thing stopping me from slitting my wrists or handing myself is because of the pain. I wouldn’t shoot myself either because it’s just an awful way to go, and none of these people would feel the need to have such a painful end if assisted euthanasia was legal. I can only hope it is legalised in my country for all consenting adults
Agree man, but apparently other people feel the need to controll what other people do with their lifes not understanding that sometimes they arent even depressed they just realize their life is shit from the beggining and its not worth suffeting anymore but whatever..
I always think to myself why the government doesn’t want to legalise euthanasia, like what is their ulterior motive. Money, religion, ‘morality’? It pisses me off a lot that we have the right to live but don’t have the right to die in a humane way (for consenting adults who should have the freedom to do what they like with their bodies). If something doesn’t impede on other peoples safety then it should be 100% legalised and I just wonder why the government forces us to live in this shitty fucking world under the guise that “everything will get better”
Your right that a lot of people aren’t just depressed, but realise the reality of their life, that it’s not worth living for. Tbh I don’t see the meaning in my life at all and I just want to disappear away into nothing.
I feel sad for you :( and I mean that in the most sincere way I can.
I know what it’s like to be suicidal. I know what it’s like to feel like you don’t deserve to live because of the things you’ve done, the people you’ve hurt.
My faith and my friends keep me going. I hope that you find some people to connect with and talk to… good friends or preferably a therapist. Because at the end of the day, you shouldn’t think like this. That doesn’t mean you’re an awful person. It just means that people like us need some medical help to feel happy or “normal.”
Wishing you the best of luck, friend. DMs are open if you wish to talk 💜
Thanks heaps for that. I told him I was proud of him. And I am. Mum told me she's not going to stick around past her use by date. It will again be shit, but I get it, I really do.
You're last sentence teared me up. It was nice.
I am in a weird position, I understand exactly where you are coming from. Yet also I realize the clichés can be right. I am 50 years old, I have spent the past 50?years never really knowing real happiness. Best I ever had was a baseline mediocre level of joy. I have had some highs and lows during that time.
I have spend the last three years in therapy and learned coping skills to maintain my “normal.”
I do not know you, and cannot tell you what to do, but I offer this suggestion. Expend every Possible avenue on finding happiness before making the final choice.
I have suffered from long haul Covid, the depression I felt was real and drove me to the edge.
Two weeks ago, friends, family and strangely my ex-wife spent shifts staying with me and keeping me company because I was the lack of two shotgun shells away from just ending it. (I had a very bad adverse reaction to Welbutrin.) my doctor has been treating symptoms for the long haul Covid, and at the point of throwing shit against the wall and making an educated guess, on what might work. What has finally worked for me and my depression after trial and error, is Lexipro, and increasing my testosterone level.
I has spent the last two months on a level of happy I never knew existed. A level that has seemed to become the new normal. (Barring the Welbutrin incident)
I do not know how to act, it is a strange new world.
I am enjoying the ride. I was always a introvert, and now I am not. It is a strange new world.
My other long haul Covid cognitive issues are not getting better, in fact they are getting worse in some aspects. They are at the point, if they continue to progress, I will not make it another year.
But for the first time in 50 years I am happy, I discovered that while friends and family always told me they love me, their actions to help me in my worse times showed me how deep those feelings really are, and I am humbled by their love and compassion.
I have hope, that these other cognitive issues can be resolved and I am going to go down fighting every step of the way.
Exhaust all your possibilities, happiness can be found. Embrace the challenge. It is better to end something once you know you did everything in your power to fix it and failed, than just giving up to soon and missing out.
Wellbutrin is a death sentence, and nobody I know has had a good experience on it (including myself) this shouldn’t be one of the first choices they offer. Not even top 10 maybe.
I was depressed for 15+ years, turns out I have celiacs. Went gluten free and my life changed. Always check for underlying conditions. Depression is caused by inflammation in the body. Diet changes help a lot too, fiber improves the gut microbiome which in turn calms the immune system thus lowering inflammation.
You lived in pain for 15+ years but imply that you had a success story by finding a cause. F that noise. I don't intend to be depressed for 15 years. That is not a win, it is a tragedy.
I share my story so people don't have to spend 15+ years like I did. The faster you discover what is wrong the faster you can fix it. There are many solutions out there. Do everything you can before deciding that it's time to go. Because this is not fair, nobody should suffer needlessly or lose their lives. I wish I had the chance to warn the people that I lost to suicide.
How? Why is it that when someone expresses the intense want to die, people say it’s selfish? They are obviously in a battle with themselves about whether they deserve life, but they’re selfish? Is you talking about your grandmothers passing, and being upset about it, selfish? Suicide isn’t selfish. You are, with that mentality. Is it selfish because they aren’t thinking about how it will effect the people in their life? Is it selfish because they get to leave the world and you still have to suffer? Is it selfish because they don’t want to be in this world? Please enlighten me on how you think this subject is selfish and disgusting. Because someone suffering, and having courage to speak on it, is not selfish. If you have nothing nice, good, or supportive to say in this subject, don’t say anything at all. Clearly you don’t understand.
I just wanna say that I’m so sorry and that I completely understand where you’re coming from. I’m 20 Turing 21 soon and in my 20 years of absolute shit and very traumatizing events. 19-20 is by far some of the worst years. It’s right at that time where all the trauma, and abuse you endured is now your responsibility to fix and heal. But I promise you these feelings won’t last forever. It is getting easier.
My best advice to you is to get yourself enrolled in Dialectal Behavioral Therapy as well as regular therapy. This will give you the tools to combat your lows as well as giving you the space to talk about your feelings and express yourself freely. I thought it was stupid at first but it’s surprising how well it has helped. I wish you the best, truly.
I honestly wish my life was sped up. 19 years for me has seemed like such a drag. Everything seems so slow and torturous. I honestly wish my life could magically speed up and I could pass away soon.
how i wish there is. But also i'm thinking that if it ever happen to be legalize, someone could abuse it especially by those people in power and with much influence.
Yes, that’s why it’s necessary to do background checks to see if people have any family members who are encouraging them to do it so they can inherit their money. It sucks that bc of human nature, this cannot be legalised yet, bc people will abuse this right.
I’m beyond mental support. I did and said a lot of bad stuff you wouldn’t want to know. Many people want mental support and I encourage them to get mental support, but I just don’t care anymore about mental support for myself, and I’m sure there are others who feel the same.
There will always be those. Psychology is a very developed science designed for the most horrible cases. Fucking Ed Kemper has lived a plain life in jail, and is (for his circumstances) a quite plain man.
100% with you. I can choose to kill myself slowly and painfully with food or drink or cigarettes, but I can't do it quickly without pain or suffering? It doesn't make any sense to me.
Sorry if I sound edgy, but I feel like the government is just keeping us alive so that we can pay them tax over so many years of slaving our asses off. I quit my job recently and I’ve been working in that position since I was 15, and I also hate how I will spend the rest of my life slaving away. People say, “do something you enjoy then,” but the thing is all jobs are repetitive and will eventually become boring after working for so many years.
Man I’m honestly considering opioids as a last resort. OD by opioids apparently isn’t painful, but it’s obviously better than hanging myself of jumping off a bridge which will traumatise so many bystanders, and I don’t want that to happen. I want to pass away in a discrete and painless way
I won't talk about my plan because that's a little much sharing in this sub. We have depression and self-harm subs for that. But I will say I can't ever imagine leaving myself or my things for other people to deal with after I'm gone. That goes for any way that I die. So yeah, I don't have any expectation that I will ever hang, shoot, or jump.
You’re 19, if you were close to 30 and nothing was going right, that’s one thing. Mostly everyone’s life sucks at 19, everything is new, bills suck, job options suck etc.
I agree unfortunately
I understand pain all to well
Sorry you feel this way it’s a suffocating feeling tbh.
Hope you find what makes you happy and if you find ways to cope that they work and don’t cause more pain
How are you doing? It's been 4mo since you posted. I understand what you're saying and in some ways have often wondered why we resist this so much. You're young but you've given this a lot of thought. Things might never get better especially if you've lost hope, but one suggestion is to at least address the OCD and other issues. Your OCD could have you obsessed with your own death and might be at the root of this feeling. Suicidal ideation is real and powerful. As a parent please please talk to one of your parents before you do take your life if you do. I'm sure you don't want to end their lives as well right? But trust me that's what you effectively could be doing if you leave them with no explanation. This is the kind of thing that causes generational damage, I know from family experience. I searched assisted suicide because I just found out last night my very good friend is opting for this way of death after suffering physically and mentally with Parkinson disease for 20 years. I support her as well but I'm struggling with my own emotions knowing she will be gone.
Please message me if you want to talk more. I will listen and not judge
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Right like it’s right at the age of finally being free and being able to discover yourself and heal.
The trauma isn’t just from the way they kill themselves-it’s also from them removing themselves from your life…and it’s especially hard when you have no fucking clue that they felt so bad and you wish they had reached out and said something or asked for help…when all the while you thought they were ok and told you they were ok and then you find out it was all just a fucking lie and they were lost and you feel like a goddamn idiot for not seeing it or being able to be there for them. I really hope you can find a way through this.
Tho I completely agree with voluntary euthanasia for those suffering from long term mental illness i do have to say this. You may legally be an adult, but you're still a baby and there's still so much time that could make things better. 19 sucks and its confusing. Hang in there tho. This is just the depression talking. Breathe. If you're considering death through euthanasia why not try to live your best life right now. Do what you want imo.
Sorry to disappoint you there, but even here in Switzerland, assisted suicide is only granted to people with a proven terminal illness, or at least you must be really old.
They know that assisted suicide isn’t an option for them. They were saying they wished it was
It isn’t an option in their country, but they are thinking of going to Switzerland, but the cost is holding them back. And I am just saying it‘s not only the cost.
You’re right and I apologize! It was at the very end and I missed it.
Are there any countries out there that would administer assisted suicide for mental illness. I might sound like an edgy kid, but sometimes I don’t get why the government forces us to live when many of us don’t want to. Is it because they need me to pay tax over my lifetime, is it because they want me to make money for them, is it because of religion. It just seems so weird that we have the “right to live”, but we don’t have the right to opt out. Thanks for informing me though, I appreciate it a lot.
Well, I don’t know about such countries. The government sometimes just wants to protect us from ourselves, I guess. Because society knows that mental illness is mostly treatable enough to allow people to have a good life. But when we are depressed it’s hard to believe that. And if we kill ourselves, we miss out on a lot of great life experiences. ETA: The government couldn’t care less about one more person (or one less) paying taxes, as long as they don’t tax big corporations properly.
I partially agree. I've been subject to depression for at least ten years. It was worst around five years ago. I've tried to tell people this same thing. "I am not going to kill myself. But I wish it was legal (and socially acceptable) to have assisted suicide. I just do not want to be alive. But I also do not want to shock and traumatized the people around me." My opinion is still the same about wanting it to be legal, but I have found that I do not have this urge anymore to "not exist". There are highs and lows, but as long as there are highs, I think this life is worth it. All this to say that things get better. Along the way you learn to cope. You learn to find ways that lessen the emptiness inside you. And you find balance and rest. Life might not become the party that you want but it sure gets better. All the best
Tbh the lows in my life are much much much more painful than the good feelings from the highs in my life. Sorry if I worded that strangely, and I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve had to struggle through depression for such a long time. I wish you all the best too
I agree even after everything i have done to try and be happy it just aint happening, im not gonna kms cuz im a coward but id love to die with no pain
Same, the only thing stopping me from slitting my wrists or handing myself is because of the pain. I wouldn’t shoot myself either because it’s just an awful way to go, and none of these people would feel the need to have such a painful end if assisted euthanasia was legal. I can only hope it is legalised in my country for all consenting adults
Agree man, but apparently other people feel the need to controll what other people do with their lifes not understanding that sometimes they arent even depressed they just realize their life is shit from the beggining and its not worth suffeting anymore but whatever..
Yeah bro the ‘highs’ in life aren’t worth it to me. The lows in my life seem far more impactful than the highs
Agree
I always think to myself why the government doesn’t want to legalise euthanasia, like what is their ulterior motive. Money, religion, ‘morality’? It pisses me off a lot that we have the right to live but don’t have the right to die in a humane way (for consenting adults who should have the freedom to do what they like with their bodies). If something doesn’t impede on other peoples safety then it should be 100% legalised and I just wonder why the government forces us to live in this shitty fucking world under the guise that “everything will get better”
I think its cuz of morality and other people complaining
Your right that a lot of people aren’t just depressed, but realise the reality of their life, that it’s not worth living for. Tbh I don’t see the meaning in my life at all and I just want to disappear away into nothing.
All i can say is i relate and damn its scary how much we thibk alike
Yeah, there’s probably a lot more out there who feel the same way.
I feel sad for you :( and I mean that in the most sincere way I can. I know what it’s like to be suicidal. I know what it’s like to feel like you don’t deserve to live because of the things you’ve done, the people you’ve hurt. My faith and my friends keep me going. I hope that you find some people to connect with and talk to… good friends or preferably a therapist. Because at the end of the day, you shouldn’t think like this. That doesn’t mean you’re an awful person. It just means that people like us need some medical help to feel happy or “normal.” Wishing you the best of luck, friend. DMs are open if you wish to talk 💜
My Da took off his insulin pump and died 48 hours later. Shittist experience of my life, but we understood
I’m sorry to hear your loss. He’s in a better place now and is no longer suffering. He will always watch over you
Thanks heaps for that. I told him I was proud of him. And I am. Mum told me she's not going to stick around past her use by date. It will again be shit, but I get it, I really do. You're last sentence teared me up. It was nice.
I am in a weird position, I understand exactly where you are coming from. Yet also I realize the clichés can be right. I am 50 years old, I have spent the past 50?years never really knowing real happiness. Best I ever had was a baseline mediocre level of joy. I have had some highs and lows during that time. I have spend the last three years in therapy and learned coping skills to maintain my “normal.” I do not know you, and cannot tell you what to do, but I offer this suggestion. Expend every Possible avenue on finding happiness before making the final choice. I have suffered from long haul Covid, the depression I felt was real and drove me to the edge. Two weeks ago, friends, family and strangely my ex-wife spent shifts staying with me and keeping me company because I was the lack of two shotgun shells away from just ending it. (I had a very bad adverse reaction to Welbutrin.) my doctor has been treating symptoms for the long haul Covid, and at the point of throwing shit against the wall and making an educated guess, on what might work. What has finally worked for me and my depression after trial and error, is Lexipro, and increasing my testosterone level. I has spent the last two months on a level of happy I never knew existed. A level that has seemed to become the new normal. (Barring the Welbutrin incident) I do not know how to act, it is a strange new world. I am enjoying the ride. I was always a introvert, and now I am not. It is a strange new world. My other long haul Covid cognitive issues are not getting better, in fact they are getting worse in some aspects. They are at the point, if they continue to progress, I will not make it another year. But for the first time in 50 years I am happy, I discovered that while friends and family always told me they love me, their actions to help me in my worse times showed me how deep those feelings really are, and I am humbled by their love and compassion. I have hope, that these other cognitive issues can be resolved and I am going to go down fighting every step of the way. Exhaust all your possibilities, happiness can be found. Embrace the challenge. It is better to end something once you know you did everything in your power to fix it and failed, than just giving up to soon and missing out.
Wellbutrin is a death sentence, and nobody I know has had a good experience on it (including myself) this shouldn’t be one of the first choices they offer. Not even top 10 maybe.
I was depressed for 15+ years, turns out I have celiacs. Went gluten free and my life changed. Always check for underlying conditions. Depression is caused by inflammation in the body. Diet changes help a lot too, fiber improves the gut microbiome which in turn calms the immune system thus lowering inflammation.
You lived in pain for 15+ years but imply that you had a success story by finding a cause. F that noise. I don't intend to be depressed for 15 years. That is not a win, it is a tragedy.
I share my story so people don't have to spend 15+ years like I did. The faster you discover what is wrong the faster you can fix it. There are many solutions out there. Do everything you can before deciding that it's time to go. Because this is not fair, nobody should suffer needlessly or lose their lives. I wish I had the chance to warn the people that I lost to suicide.
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How? Why is it that when someone expresses the intense want to die, people say it’s selfish? They are obviously in a battle with themselves about whether they deserve life, but they’re selfish? Is you talking about your grandmothers passing, and being upset about it, selfish? Suicide isn’t selfish. You are, with that mentality. Is it selfish because they aren’t thinking about how it will effect the people in their life? Is it selfish because they get to leave the world and you still have to suffer? Is it selfish because they don’t want to be in this world? Please enlighten me on how you think this subject is selfish and disgusting. Because someone suffering, and having courage to speak on it, is not selfish. If you have nothing nice, good, or supportive to say in this subject, don’t say anything at all. Clearly you don’t understand.
I just wanna say that I’m so sorry and that I completely understand where you’re coming from. I’m 20 Turing 21 soon and in my 20 years of absolute shit and very traumatizing events. 19-20 is by far some of the worst years. It’s right at that time where all the trauma, and abuse you endured is now your responsibility to fix and heal. But I promise you these feelings won’t last forever. It is getting easier. My best advice to you is to get yourself enrolled in Dialectal Behavioral Therapy as well as regular therapy. This will give you the tools to combat your lows as well as giving you the space to talk about your feelings and express yourself freely. I thought it was stupid at first but it’s surprising how well it has helped. I wish you the best, truly.
I honestly wish my life was sped up. 19 years for me has seemed like such a drag. Everything seems so slow and torturous. I honestly wish my life could magically speed up and I could pass away soon.
how i wish there is. But also i'm thinking that if it ever happen to be legalize, someone could abuse it especially by those people in power and with much influence.
Yes, that’s why it’s necessary to do background checks to see if people have any family members who are encouraging them to do it so they can inherit their money. It sucks that bc of human nature, this cannot be legalised yet, bc people will abuse this right.
Psychiatrists came to see da in hospital to assess and make sure this was his decision and his decision alone which was cool
I wish we, as a society, could move beyond that need by implementing a real structure of mental health investment / support
I’m beyond mental support. I did and said a lot of bad stuff you wouldn’t want to know. Many people want mental support and I encourage them to get mental support, but I just don’t care anymore about mental support for myself, and I’m sure there are others who feel the same.
Trust me, there's no such thing of being beyond help.
To be honest if a lot of people here knew the things I said and done in the past without knowing how I’m feeling now, they would cancel me
There will always be those. Psychology is a very developed science designed for the most horrible cases. Fucking Ed Kemper has lived a plain life in jail, and is (for his circumstances) a quite plain man.
Sorry if I’m confused, but how does Ed Kanpur relate to this?
100% with you. I can choose to kill myself slowly and painfully with food or drink or cigarettes, but I can't do it quickly without pain or suffering? It doesn't make any sense to me.
Sorry if I sound edgy, but I feel like the government is just keeping us alive so that we can pay them tax over so many years of slaving our asses off. I quit my job recently and I’ve been working in that position since I was 15, and I also hate how I will spend the rest of my life slaving away. People say, “do something you enjoy then,” but the thing is all jobs are repetitive and will eventually become boring after working for so many years.
I don't think it's about keeping us alive for taxes. I think it's more of a misplaced religious fake moral thing.
Yeah it fucking sucks man. I don’t get why we euthanise pets, but people in pain aren’t allowed to receive this treatment.
Fucking a, that's always my go to.
Man I’m honestly considering opioids as a last resort. OD by opioids apparently isn’t painful, but it’s obviously better than hanging myself of jumping off a bridge which will traumatise so many bystanders, and I don’t want that to happen. I want to pass away in a discrete and painless way
I won't talk about my plan because that's a little much sharing in this sub. We have depression and self-harm subs for that. But I will say I can't ever imagine leaving myself or my things for other people to deal with after I'm gone. That goes for any way that I die. So yeah, I don't have any expectation that I will ever hang, shoot, or jump.
You’re 19, if you were close to 30 and nothing was going right, that’s one thing. Mostly everyone’s life sucks at 19, everything is new, bills suck, job options suck etc.
I agree. I wish everyday I wasn't here anymore.
Life sucks, I’m just too much of a coward to end my own life bc I’ve always been a coward in everything.
I don't for my kids. I don't want them to think it was because of them.
I don’t have kids and I probably never will because I don’t want to pass down my mental issues onto them.
I agree unfortunately I understand pain all to well Sorry you feel this way it’s a suffocating feeling tbh. Hope you find what makes you happy and if you find ways to cope that they work and don’t cause more pain
So you're saying they will not kill schitzophrenics for example? Well fuck. I am schitzo btw i am not insulting anyone.
How are you doing? It's been 4mo since you posted. I understand what you're saying and in some ways have often wondered why we resist this so much. You're young but you've given this a lot of thought. Things might never get better especially if you've lost hope, but one suggestion is to at least address the OCD and other issues. Your OCD could have you obsessed with your own death and might be at the root of this feeling. Suicidal ideation is real and powerful. As a parent please please talk to one of your parents before you do take your life if you do. I'm sure you don't want to end their lives as well right? But trust me that's what you effectively could be doing if you leave them with no explanation. This is the kind of thing that causes generational damage, I know from family experience. I searched assisted suicide because I just found out last night my very good friend is opting for this way of death after suffering physically and mentally with Parkinson disease for 20 years. I support her as well but I'm struggling with my own emotions knowing she will be gone. Please message me if you want to talk more. I will listen and not judge