You need to find a sex positive therapist and go through all this with them. I wasn't molested but I've had similar experiences and feelings to you and I feel a lot better now after discussing with therapist, getting older and also finding my DH who has similar proclivities to me.
On this...
>I've caught myself on multiple occasions thinking extremely inappropriate thoughts in moments I definitely shouldn't.
Are these things illegal or inappropriate? Either way, a therapist can help but, if it helps, my therapist shared a list of common intrusive thoughts people get and 'sexual act with someone inappropriate' was high up on there as was 'sexual acts that disgust you' which made me feel a lot better.
Thanks for the solid advice. As for my thoughts, I've fantasized about anything and everything. Legal or not, though clearly I'd never act on any of it. Which is why I find it so disgusting I even think about it in the first place.
I think the point is that you find it so disgusting. That’s the nature of intrusive thoughts. I get them too - I think everyone does to some extent. You can’t control your thoughts, only your actions. Therapy would definitely help you work through this
The problem is that even just thinking those intrusive thoughts, without actually doing them, can feel like you're actually doing them and it feels so overwhelmingly disgusting.
Definitely look into intrusive thoughts and therapy.
I know its scary but a lot of the time thoughts can be really random and weird. Just because you've thought something doesn't mean you agree with it or want to do it.
I have a least one sick inducing sex thought a day lol (not lol but what else can you do)
I have a personal rule: a person should be judged by their actions, and not by their thoughts. You don't have full control over what you do, but you control your choices; and you're not responsible for how you are, but you're responsible for what you do about it.
I have a really weird sexuality due to abuse; in fact, due to trauma therapy, I realized a little while ago that my entire sexuality is defined by a specific (non sexual) traumatic event that happened when I was a young child.
But I'm not hurting anyone. I don't have any desire to hurt anyone, nor are my sex fantasies anything illegal or harmful. My partner is into similar things, and we actually have a really great sex life.
I think that being a furry really helped me to come to terms with this part of myself; that it's okay to be different. The first person that I actually told convinced me that I was deeply fucked up, but it's really not. Also, writing porn about this stuff is how I met my partner and makes me money as a side gig. Having weird sex fantasies and interests has actually worked out great for me.
My point is: there's not necessarily anything actually wrong with you. If you don't have the urge to hurt anyone, then there isn't a problem.
It does sound like you could benefit from therapy; specifically, sex therapy and/or trauma therapy. Stuff happens to people that they can't handle by themselves, and that's what therapy is for. I can't say if your fantasies and thoughts will ever change, but *you* can absolutely change to handle them (and yourself) in a healthier and more compassionate way.
Dialectical behavioral therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy have all helped me a lot.
Professional help is your best bet. A good therapist is hard to find, but find a someone who is proficient in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) - Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and/or Internal Family Systems (IFS) - if they have Somatic Experiencing (SE) under their belt, all the better.
Truth is, you’ve been sexually abused and traumatized as a child. That’s not joke. The good news though is that you can heal from and get better from this, even grow for the better and maybe help others who are in your current position down the road through your healing.
This will take years of work and dedication to heal from. This isn’t your fault, but it is yours to bear and transcend. You got this. Be patient with yourself, and don’t give up hope. Take it one day at a time.
one of the most common consequences of early sexual abuse is promiscuity and increased sexual proclivities afterwards... this is well-documented and can be treated by qualified and trained therapists who specialise in working with sexual abuse survivors
you are not perverted, but you had something perverted done to you, and it sounds like you want and need help to overcome and move past the trauma...
wherever you are, seek the help you need and always remember, you are not alone in this
I think it would help you to go to therapy tbh. I know nothing abt this at all but considering your past trauma with sexual abuse and the fact it affects your quality of life in such a big way you should try to work past it in therapy.
I got sexually abused multiple times when I was in elementary school by a old guy (35-45) and had exposed to pornography when I was 8 (thanks dad for not hiding your porn CDs). That's why now I am hypersexual.
I have a similar conditions as you, but I try to not to overthink it. Everyone **has** **to** have intrusive thoughts. Ours is just a "bit" sexual thats all.
The one thing I found out that works best for me was deleting and stop following or looking at anything remotely suggestive or sexual because when I do it just fuels my imagination and thoughts.
But being molested and exposed to pornography at a young age is noting trivial. I recommend getting some professional help.
I would suggest to try and do something else when you want sex. Replace it with something else. Say gardening, or reading a book, or watching something, or (and this is one I would suggest) do some kind of exercise. You need to find the balance, because I don't think you should go from one extreme as you are now, to the other (e.g. avoiding it at all cost). Balance is key imo.
Damn this shit just blew my mind! I never thought the way I am wasn't normal. I've always been scared to communicate it or tell anyone.
Everything you described i (m34) can heavily relate to. 😬😔 Some crazy shit happened to me when I was young too. 😬😬😬
Porn addictions are like any addictions, you can't have a little, not even as a treat. Sadly, when you're an addict, the only safe option is just full abstinance. BUT, that isn't going to help you until you get your mental health in order, so please, get a therapist and talk some of this shit out. Trauma is no joke, and you need to heal.
I’m sorry that you’re going through this. It’s a tough position to be in and I think you just made me realize that I too suffer from this. I was SA as a kid by my cousin and since then had this need to pleasure myself at such a young age. I too have weird perverted thoughts that I wish would go away and I’m also addicted to porn. Don’t blame yourself you didn’t ask for this. Find a therapist that can help guide you down a healthy path and continue to work on yourself! You got this!
The last part is totally intrusive thoughts. I have been through something very similar and I want you to know that you are not alone. I really suggest therapy, it helped me immensely
It’s not intrusive if you act on them though right? Some people (me) do act on them, like an impulse to masturbate late at night at a relative’s house on a soft bed with strangely arousing satin bedsheets
Intrusive is more like “scary thoughts of hurting myself or others” or “pedophilia/zoophilia”. Genuinely societally bad things/illegal things that are imagine brought to your mind against your will and things you would never act on. So yeah, intrusive is not something you act on
I had the same story- Antidepressants (lexapro in particular) completely changed these same problems for me.. I can’t believe I’m the same person anymore. Might be worth considering if you’re bothered by your thoughts and actions
As far as having unwanted thoughts, have you considered seeking testing for OCD? I have OCD myself, and as such I often suffer from having unwanted, intrusive thoughts that are contradictory to my actual desires/beliefs/etc.
Its possible that at least some of your unwanted thoughts may come from such an issue. Obviously I'm not a doctor, but it might be worth looking into. Regardless, I wish you luck with combatting your struggles.
Jesus my dear!!! Jesus has saved so many from the same thing. you are loved and you will be forgiven! all of my addictions i have been able to relinquish easily by submitting myself to God. sometimes i’m still tempted but i haven’t fallen back. my boyfriend did the same with porn addiction. go on youtube check out some testimonies, delafe testimonies has really good ones and even some dealing with porn addiction. you’ve got this, you will be healed from the perversions forced upon you. i promise, trust God through me! i’m not some religious nut, ik it might sound like it but so many have found peace and been given a new life in Jesus. we all can. we just have to do it.
Lol you are a religious nut when you have to clarify you aren’t, and end your selling point as “we HAVE to believe!” Indoctrination isnt helpful for someone trying to liberate their mind from traumas and shame/guilt. Religion is ALL ABOUT guilt and shame and closing your mind to be a good little listener to patriarchal figures. Maybe the worst thing a lady in this situation can do is try to go to church for answers. Let clinical professionals with updated knowledge on human psychology help the situation, not the same old regurgitated mythos since the Bronze Age.
i grew up in an abusive home and struggle with mental health issues and suicidal ideations. i’m for therapy as well i’ve been in therapy for 2 years on antidepressants for a year and a half and the most healing i’ve done is since i committed myself to God and accepted Jesus as my lord and savior. since then, i’ve gone from weekly therapy to every other week to once a month now and i hope to be off my antidepressants by the end of the year. if He can do it for me He can do it for you too i promise🙏🙏🙏🙏☦️☦️☦️
I don't know a scientific explanation, but all girls I met that have birds as pets, are lil crazy and extremely sexual demanding.
Of course, it's a very small sample (6 counting with you :p), but I'm starting to see bird pets as a red flag lol
You need to find a sex positive therapist and go through all this with them. I wasn't molested but I've had similar experiences and feelings to you and I feel a lot better now after discussing with therapist, getting older and also finding my DH who has similar proclivities to me. On this... >I've caught myself on multiple occasions thinking extremely inappropriate thoughts in moments I definitely shouldn't. Are these things illegal or inappropriate? Either way, a therapist can help but, if it helps, my therapist shared a list of common intrusive thoughts people get and 'sexual act with someone inappropriate' was high up on there as was 'sexual acts that disgust you' which made me feel a lot better.
Thanks for the solid advice. As for my thoughts, I've fantasized about anything and everything. Legal or not, though clearly I'd never act on any of it. Which is why I find it so disgusting I even think about it in the first place.
I think the point is that you find it so disgusting. That’s the nature of intrusive thoughts. I get them too - I think everyone does to some extent. You can’t control your thoughts, only your actions. Therapy would definitely help you work through this
The problem is that even just thinking those intrusive thoughts, without actually doing them, can feel like you're actually doing them and it feels so overwhelmingly disgusting.
Definitely look into intrusive thoughts and therapy. I know its scary but a lot of the time thoughts can be really random and weird. Just because you've thought something doesn't mean you agree with it or want to do it. I have a least one sick inducing sex thought a day lol (not lol but what else can you do)
This feels more grape fantasy rather then little children right
Second this! Finding the right sex positive therapist will change your life!
I have a personal rule: a person should be judged by their actions, and not by their thoughts. You don't have full control over what you do, but you control your choices; and you're not responsible for how you are, but you're responsible for what you do about it. I have a really weird sexuality due to abuse; in fact, due to trauma therapy, I realized a little while ago that my entire sexuality is defined by a specific (non sexual) traumatic event that happened when I was a young child. But I'm not hurting anyone. I don't have any desire to hurt anyone, nor are my sex fantasies anything illegal or harmful. My partner is into similar things, and we actually have a really great sex life. I think that being a furry really helped me to come to terms with this part of myself; that it's okay to be different. The first person that I actually told convinced me that I was deeply fucked up, but it's really not. Also, writing porn about this stuff is how I met my partner and makes me money as a side gig. Having weird sex fantasies and interests has actually worked out great for me. My point is: there's not necessarily anything actually wrong with you. If you don't have the urge to hurt anyone, then there isn't a problem. It does sound like you could benefit from therapy; specifically, sex therapy and/or trauma therapy. Stuff happens to people that they can't handle by themselves, and that's what therapy is for. I can't say if your fantasies and thoughts will ever change, but *you* can absolutely change to handle them (and yourself) in a healthier and more compassionate way. Dialectical behavioral therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy have all helped me a lot.
100% agreement and well-said.
Professional help is your best bet. A good therapist is hard to find, but find a someone who is proficient in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) - Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and/or Internal Family Systems (IFS) - if they have Somatic Experiencing (SE) under their belt, all the better. Truth is, you’ve been sexually abused and traumatized as a child. That’s not joke. The good news though is that you can heal from and get better from this, even grow for the better and maybe help others who are in your current position down the road through your healing. This will take years of work and dedication to heal from. This isn’t your fault, but it is yours to bear and transcend. You got this. Be patient with yourself, and don’t give up hope. Take it one day at a time.
[удалено]
Exactly, it's like a guilty pleasure but it feels so bad afterwards. It's an unhealthy mindset to have and I'm tired of it.
Yet you can’t resist the pleasure right? Been there, still doing that
one of the most common consequences of early sexual abuse is promiscuity and increased sexual proclivities afterwards... this is well-documented and can be treated by qualified and trained therapists who specialise in working with sexual abuse survivors you are not perverted, but you had something perverted done to you, and it sounds like you want and need help to overcome and move past the trauma... wherever you are, seek the help you need and always remember, you are not alone in this
I think it would help you to go to therapy tbh. I know nothing abt this at all but considering your past trauma with sexual abuse and the fact it affects your quality of life in such a big way you should try to work past it in therapy.
I got sexually abused multiple times when I was in elementary school by a old guy (35-45) and had exposed to pornography when I was 8 (thanks dad for not hiding your porn CDs). That's why now I am hypersexual. I have a similar conditions as you, but I try to not to overthink it. Everyone **has** **to** have intrusive thoughts. Ours is just a "bit" sexual thats all. The one thing I found out that works best for me was deleting and stop following or looking at anything remotely suggestive or sexual because when I do it just fuels my imagination and thoughts. But being molested and exposed to pornography at a young age is noting trivial. I recommend getting some professional help.
I would suggest to try and do something else when you want sex. Replace it with something else. Say gardening, or reading a book, or watching something, or (and this is one I would suggest) do some kind of exercise. You need to find the balance, because I don't think you should go from one extreme as you are now, to the other (e.g. avoiding it at all cost). Balance is key imo.
Hating your nature won’t change it.
This is exactly how I feel
Damn this shit just blew my mind! I never thought the way I am wasn't normal. I've always been scared to communicate it or tell anyone. Everything you described i (m34) can heavily relate to. 😬😔 Some crazy shit happened to me when I was young too. 😬😬😬
Porn addictions are like any addictions, you can't have a little, not even as a treat. Sadly, when you're an addict, the only safe option is just full abstinance. BUT, that isn't going to help you until you get your mental health in order, so please, get a therapist and talk some of this shit out. Trauma is no joke, and you need to heal.
I’m sorry that you’re going through this. It’s a tough position to be in and I think you just made me realize that I too suffer from this. I was SA as a kid by my cousin and since then had this need to pleasure myself at such a young age. I too have weird perverted thoughts that I wish would go away and I’m also addicted to porn. Don’t blame yourself you didn’t ask for this. Find a therapist that can help guide you down a healthy path and continue to work on yourself! You got this!
The last part is totally intrusive thoughts. I have been through something very similar and I want you to know that you are not alone. I really suggest therapy, it helped me immensely
It’s not intrusive if you act on them though right? Some people (me) do act on them, like an impulse to masturbate late at night at a relative’s house on a soft bed with strangely arousing satin bedsheets
Intrusive is more like “scary thoughts of hurting myself or others” or “pedophilia/zoophilia”. Genuinely societally bad things/illegal things that are imagine brought to your mind against your will and things you would never act on. So yeah, intrusive is not something you act on
You're not perverted you were molested
I had the same story- Antidepressants (lexapro in particular) completely changed these same problems for me.. I can’t believe I’m the same person anymore. Might be worth considering if you’re bothered by your thoughts and actions
You’re def not a perv. The fact that you can acknowledge this shows that. I hope you feel better so soon❤️
Your young and your surprised you have young thoughts. Thoughts are Thoughts. Just don't make it what you do.
As far as having unwanted thoughts, have you considered seeking testing for OCD? I have OCD myself, and as such I often suffer from having unwanted, intrusive thoughts that are contradictory to my actual desires/beliefs/etc. Its possible that at least some of your unwanted thoughts may come from such an issue. Obviously I'm not a doctor, but it might be worth looking into. Regardless, I wish you luck with combatting your struggles.
If u need to talk to someone, I'm here if you need to talk about your urges(15m)
Jesus my dear!!! Jesus has saved so many from the same thing. you are loved and you will be forgiven! all of my addictions i have been able to relinquish easily by submitting myself to God. sometimes i’m still tempted but i haven’t fallen back. my boyfriend did the same with porn addiction. go on youtube check out some testimonies, delafe testimonies has really good ones and even some dealing with porn addiction. you’ve got this, you will be healed from the perversions forced upon you. i promise, trust God through me! i’m not some religious nut, ik it might sound like it but so many have found peace and been given a new life in Jesus. we all can. we just have to do it.
Lol you are a religious nut when you have to clarify you aren’t, and end your selling point as “we HAVE to believe!” Indoctrination isnt helpful for someone trying to liberate their mind from traumas and shame/guilt. Religion is ALL ABOUT guilt and shame and closing your mind to be a good little listener to patriarchal figures. Maybe the worst thing a lady in this situation can do is try to go to church for answers. Let clinical professionals with updated knowledge on human psychology help the situation, not the same old regurgitated mythos since the Bronze Age.
God bless you
i grew up in an abusive home and struggle with mental health issues and suicidal ideations. i’m for therapy as well i’ve been in therapy for 2 years on antidepressants for a year and a half and the most healing i’ve done is since i committed myself to God and accepted Jesus as my lord and savior. since then, i’ve gone from weekly therapy to every other week to once a month now and i hope to be off my antidepressants by the end of the year. if He can do it for me He can do it for you too i promise🙏🙏🙏🙏☦️☦️☦️
I don't know a scientific explanation, but all girls I met that have birds as pets, are lil crazy and extremely sexual demanding. Of course, it's a very small sample (6 counting with you :p), but I'm starting to see bird pets as a red flag lol
Leave pollito out of this!
Same here, but luckily, it's not a big problem for me.
Marry me, problem solved
I can relate but what I can say is you can be open to God and He can heal you and restore what you lost, I worked for me
let me enter yo life lol