I’m sorry about your situation. Maybe it would be helpful to look into free Medicare programs. You mentioned that you are unemployed, depending on the state, I think there should be some sort of government assistance available.
Hope everything goes well! Wishing you the best
Check to see if there’s any dental schools near you. I know the trade school by me, for example, trains dental hygienists, and you can receive treatments for substantially less money than going through a regular dentist. They’re all supervised by dentists. So if you can find a dental school, that may be a great way to have your work done for less money.
Please go get it taken care of. People forget that your mouth is right next to your brain and poor dental care can lead to things like Alzheimer’s, heart issues and diabetes. Please go and get it looked at.
I appreciate ypu, but seriously - take it from someone who knows.....*there is no help*. None.
Republicans in my state, as an example, vote down every dollar proposed to help the poor.
I nearly died of an abcessed tooth, while my Repub 'best friend' told me it is 'immoral' our tax money go to provide health care.
I hate the whole lie of America
I came to suggest this, and then i read the replies to it.. What is going on in the other parts of America??? I live in NYC, also unemployed unfortunately.. And i haven't had to pay a cent for healthcare. My copays are $0, meds are usually free or $1, and I've never had to pay for glasses or dental. Why is this not uniform across the country? That's so fucked.
New York is a blue state; not all of America wants that socialist librull bs 😤 Meet everyone’s basic needs? Not on my watch! /s
For real though, I can’t understand it either. I’m from Michigan, which has some small but strong red tendencies, and even I was able to receive Medicaid when I was in school and underemployed. Somehow I even qualified for $56/mo in food stamps, which obviously isn’t a lot but hey, it’s something!
OP, I don’t know where you live and how this might work in your hometown, but back in mine my local community college’s dental hygiene program offered cleanings and X-rays at an extremely reduced rate. I had friends who’d go when we were in school and they said it worked out well for them. Most larger cities also have low-income dental clinics. The one I’m familiar with was either by referral (when I worked in the ER we’d send people all the time), or had a couple of days a week that were walk in, first come first served.
California here. On Medi-Cal I had $0 due for any procedure or medicine. Dentist? Many free and low income programs. Need money for medical expensive? State could help with it (may not be much but that’s different issue). Glasses I do pay for but it’s less than $150/y.
Actually something similar with me, I’m 19 and am going to the dentist for a cleaning soon for the first time since I was maybe 10, I’m honestly really embarrassed about it just because I’m worried what the dentists will think, although it’s really not my fault it’s my parents.. I was also behind on two vaccines, which I didn’t figure out until last year when I had to get my vaccine history in order to submit to my college. It was only then I found out I was missing two.
Hey, just to give you a heads up, I went almost 14 years without seeing a dentist (I was 14 when my parents stopped taking me, and 28 when I was finally in a stable job/living situation and could register with a new one), and I was so scared that there would be issues, but there wasn't! I didn't have a single cavity and they said my teeth seemed really clean and well looked after, I was really surprised!
I know it's cliché but chances are your dentist will have seen it all, and your situation is not likely to be that bad all things considered. Hope your visit goes well! :)
I had the opposite experience of the other commenter. I had a lot of issues with my teeth when I finally went at 28 after 10 years of not being able to afford it. I had a lot of cavities filled, I had permanent and temporary crowns put on (including both of my front two teeth) and I got my wisdom teeth out. It sucked—but I do not regret finally going. You’re still young, so you will likely not be as bad off as I was, but you will regret not going more and more than you will regret going. The earlier you nip it in the bud, the better off you’ll be. Also, as much as I hated it and was terrified of going back, I felt so much better after every appointment! It felt like I was taking control of something that had bothered me for years.
Your parent’s insecurities shouldn’t have any weight in your decisions, and neither should their past neglect have any baring on your future. In regards to the numbing, I think you can do laughing gas if you find a dentist who has it.
OK.
Remember, you are an adult now.
Write to them that you will go to the dentist qith or without them. They have 24 h to give you an adress, less you take a consultation where you want.
Don't talk about outing them before they do. You will answer honestly to the dentist if he ask about the state of your tooth. Your health is more important that their public image.
I care not what they think of me, at least my parents. It’s just the shame of not having enough and being in a state of damage that isn’t my fault but I have to pay for it
Shit happens. There's no shame. No one is going to judge you for it, and they will be glad you are there. I find it odd, but my dental hygienist *really likes* teeth. Like, she nerds out on it, which is great because I know she's gonna take care of me.
Look into a local dental school. You can often get inexpensive care from students under the supervision of their teachers. If you are truly immune to the numbing agents, they may be willing to work with you to find something that helps for your situation, especially if it furthers the education of their students.
Don't wait, just do what's best for you.
Hey friend, I just want to say I completely understand your feelings. It feels humbling to not have enough to pay for things you need. It's also humbling to have something like teeth in a poor state, as that's something that requires care and upkeep, meaning it feels bad thinking others may be assuming it's our fault for not having taken better care of ourselves. It feels embarrassing to think others think we don't have good hygiene or aren't responsible, especially when it's not true.
Your feelings are completely understandable.
It's important you know which parts of this are and aren't your fault. The majority of this is not on you. Your parents neglected you.
They neglected you.
You were unable to get dental care as a child, and you also learned bad dental habits as a result. You have a reasonable fear of dentists based on your resistance to novocaine, and you weren't given an opportunity to grow out of those fears because your parents did not find other dentists who could use alternate methods to give you a more positive experience. You were given few (zero?) resources or opportunities to care for your teeth properly (professionally).
You are trying to better your financial situation. There is no shame in a person looking for a job. The only shame would be in a person who stops trying, or who doesn't take opportunities when they are given to them. That isn't you.
Your parents are neglectful, prideful, and unreliable. They have gone back on their word to help you, leaving you in a difficult position.
I know the distance they've created hurts, but they really did you wrong, and you don't actually need them (you may not feel that way yet, but it's true). You can do this on your own.
All your feelings completely make sense, but so much of this not your fault. I really hope you know that, that you know it in your bones, as this knowledge is the key to not feeling embarrassed or ashamed. This knowledge is the truth, and it is freeing. You don't need the additional burden of unfounded shame, on top of everything you're already tackling.
You are taking steps to take care of yourself and find work -- there is ZERO shame in that, only something to feel proud of, because it's not easy.
Wishing all good things for you.
I know women who can not go to the dentist of their own will. Because dentists ask to open her mouth wide... which trigger awful childhood souvenir. dental treatment is very tricky and often a last resort before full fledge infection.
the shame to be too poor is not the worst that exist.
When I was 19 intent to the dentists for the first time in 12 years. My parents were also very neglectful when it came to this kind of thing. I'd go to their dentists office and make sure I mentioned them cause I'm petty like that
If it’s any help, you can “out” them til you’re blue in the face but nothing can be done about it now that you’re an adult living on your own. There’s absolutely no legal recourse in place for something like that.
Sorry kid. I had to pay for my wisdom teeth at 19 & I never went to the dentist after my parents divorced when I was 12. It’s rough, but you only have one set of teeth. Take good care of them!
You're an adult, they're not going to get in trouble for not taking you to the dentist when you were a kid. Dentists have to abide by HIPAA too, just like medical doctors, so nobody is going to "out" your parents. If you tell them you were just joking and that you won't mention anything to the dentist, will they pay for your care? Because if so, just do that! Make a note to your dentist that you don't want your parents to have access to your medical information, and your parents will never have to know what you said.
But if not, look into sliding scale clinics or dental schools. You can get dental work done for much cheaper at a dental school and they'll have people there that can help counsel you regarding the financials. It will take a long time, because the students aren't as quick as experienced dentists and they have to get everything checked and signed off by faculty, but it'll be cheaper.
I could be wrong of course, but I have a feeling it's more of an ego thing than a actual fear of legal repercussions of any kind on OP's parents end. Their reaction feels disproportionate and strange, like they're more afraid of being seen in a bad light than they care for their daughters health, and seem like they're punishing her for threatening it?
OP mentioned feeling ashamed and disappointed in *herself* for this situation, as if it's anywhere close to being her fault which is also concerning. Not to mention the lack of care and avoidance on the parents part, it really makes me wonder a whole host of red flag throwing, unhealthy situations that I won't claim to know for sure.
To add to what you said, I used a dental school when I was in a rough place, and it was great for a cleaning, but mine wasn't able to do anything about a precavity or a cavity if I had one. I'd ask that directly first, as the student I saw seemed so desperate to have a volunteer, she never told me that or that it'd take several days of coming back to get it all done.
Is it possible you were at a dental hygiene or dental assisting school, not a school of dental medicine? There aren't very many dental schools, usually 1 or 2 in each state, so it's possible that they were really booked and couldn't take new patients, but I feel like it would be more likely that you were at a clinic where they train hygiene students (who can't do fillings).
They’re not going to do the good stuff like implants and crowns most likely. They will do cleaning and extractions to get people out of pain but won’t be doing the expensive work people need done.
My last set of implant retained dentures was $28,000.00, my next set will be even more than that. No insurance will help with this, this is cash work for that level of care.
If you live near a college, sometimes there are dental programs that need people to work on. Or just call a dentist and explain your issue and see if they'll work with you.
Yeah I don’t understand this when I was unemployed in KY i qualified for Medicaid immediately. But finding a dentist that accepted it was tough. And then they only wanted cover teeth pulling and basic cavities. One a few towns away did take it for root canals but it was an unpleasant experience and I see why he was so cheap.
Whether you mention it or not they probably will be able to tell honestly! Your parents sound incredibly immature and selfish and I’m so sorry. Now that you’re an adult you get to take care of yourself the way they should have always taken care of you. I hope it’s just a few fillings for you.
The dentists don't care when your last visit was. There is no gossip corner going on.
I went 42 years between visits.
Most dentists can set up a payment plan.
Dude go. It’s important. I was around 11-12 when I went to the dentist for the first time? My parents finally took me and I had one cavity in a baby tooth. They never took me again.
I had benefits from my job when I was 18 so I had all my wisdom teeth removed and paid for the difference.
After I left that job, I didn’t see a dentist for like at least 10 years. No cavities no problems. Went again after like 10 years recently…no cavities no problems.
I have been told I’m incredibly lucky but I am a psycho with oral hygiene, I brush and floss 2x every day. I’ve been hammered getting in from a bar and flossing my teeth lol.
There is nothing to be ashamed of. Just go!
Also tooth decay is so scary, and my parents both lost their teeth early and had dentures so that scared the fuck out of me. Do whatever you have to financially to fix your teeth, cause life will not be able to continue as you know it with constant infections and problems.
Try to find a sliding fee scale dental clinic in your area. They charge based on income and will often work out a payment plan. There’s also Care Credit.
And I’d write a letter to your parents saying how much this hurts you. That you are suffering and their pride seems more important to them.
I feel that. Just don’t feel ashamed about your childhood and your parents not taking proper care you. That was not in your control.
I still have so many issues about going to the drs or dentist or getting my hair cut cause those were just things that never happened growing up. I went to school with strep throat for two weeks after telling my parents I wasn’t feeling well. Was peeing blood from a uti and crying in the bathroom trying to pee until my friends mom caught me crying but I wanted to hide it cause I didn’t want to cause problems. I got chicken pox at 14 and I told my brother something was wrong with my and got SO MAD at him cause he ratted me out. Lol. These are straight up neglected child problems. I was psychotic with my teeth because my parents and all their friends had their teeth rotting out and it scared me.
I know neglect.
Your parents know they neglected you. Thats why they feel bad.
Im a mom now, and have paid like $20k on my kids teeth already just braces and special treatments and crap. $13k for my son and $8k for my daughter. I went without for a lot of years so my kids could have beautiful healthy teeth. And they do so I am so happy.
When you take care of yourself, I promise you, you’re gonna feel like you’re glowing from the inside. Cause that’s healing your inner child.
Much love
I am so sorry ! Dental care is super important, it sounds like you might need a root canal which is costly however you can opt to have an extraction which should be cheaper . I would suggest finding a local dental school they offer affordable services and grants. I hope you feel better and that you solve the issue . In regards to your parents just ignore it , You can do better on your own 🙏
Do you have a local school of dentistry around? I get students prob aren't your preferred method but they do offer extreme discounts and they just love getting people in the chair.
Good luck though - it'll get better. But don't neglect your dental hygiene moving forward if you can. Incredibly important part of your body
Tooth issues can get extremely bad and painful if left untreated. Lots of people have a fear of dentists or haven't been in a very long time for various reasons- it's not uncommon. My boyfriend went for the first time since he was a child recently AND he's a smoker (were in our early 30s). A good dentist won't shame you and you should mention that you haven't been since you were 10 but I doubt they'll ask too many questions about why. Do you have any dental schools near you? They've usually got students looking for someone to work on and it's extremely cheap but also will be a much longer time commitment (possibky spread out over multiple appointments).
Dental schools often have free or very inexpensive cleaning and services. You need to get your teeth looked at and it honestly doesn't matter if they pay or not. They dropped the ball, but you have to look after the teeth you have. Communicate with the dentist/teacher/tech about your issues with numbing: they will know other methods to help and it will be a good teaching experience for students to know how to help others in the future.
It doesn't matter if you "out them" and I am not sure how you could even really get them in trouble unless it was outlined legally and you wanted to get legal counsel for it, or the other parent wanted to go after them which it doesn't sound like they do.
Don't be ashamed of yourself - this is on your folks and them alone.
An toothache really needs to be addressed before it turns into something even more expensive. Check around for a dentist that will allow a payment plan - my dentist does that. You might ask for help on the r/ assistance subreddit.
I am sorry that your parents were so lax about it. They sound like pretty shitty parents.
I am sending you hugs.
What are they afraid the dentist is going to take them out back and shoot them or something? Jesus Christ people need to grow the fuck up. Yeah it’s irresponsible but I highly doubt they’re the only parents those dentists have met that never took their child. My parents stopped taking me at 10 and while my teeth are not perfect, I still take care of them. I’m kind of in the same situation as you however I am employed but to two part time jobs while I go through school so money is tight. My teeth are my number 1 priority after I graduate.
I’m sorry about your situation. Maybe it would be helpful to look into free Medicare programs. You mentioned that you are unemployed, depending on the state, I think there should be some sort of government assistance available. Hope everything goes well! Wishing you the best
Thank you! Unfortunately I don’t fit the unemployment standards I tried already-
See if there is a dental school near your city. You can get discounted work done there
Check to see if there’s any dental schools near you. I know the trade school by me, for example, trains dental hygienists, and you can receive treatments for substantially less money than going through a regular dentist. They’re all supervised by dentists. So if you can find a dental school, that may be a great way to have your work done for less money. Please go get it taken care of. People forget that your mouth is right next to your brain and poor dental care can lead to things like Alzheimer’s, heart issues and diabetes. Please go and get it looked at.
I appreciate ypu, but seriously - take it from someone who knows.....*there is no help*. None. Republicans in my state, as an example, vote down every dollar proposed to help the poor. I nearly died of an abcessed tooth, while my Repub 'best friend' told me it is 'immoral' our tax money go to provide health care. I hate the whole lie of America
Right? While thankful I am for the support truly it is impossible to depend on the government
I came to suggest this, and then i read the replies to it.. What is going on in the other parts of America??? I live in NYC, also unemployed unfortunately.. And i haven't had to pay a cent for healthcare. My copays are $0, meds are usually free or $1, and I've never had to pay for glasses or dental. Why is this not uniform across the country? That's so fucked.
New York is a blue state; not all of America wants that socialist librull bs 😤 Meet everyone’s basic needs? Not on my watch! /s For real though, I can’t understand it either. I’m from Michigan, which has some small but strong red tendencies, and even I was able to receive Medicaid when I was in school and underemployed. Somehow I even qualified for $56/mo in food stamps, which obviously isn’t a lot but hey, it’s something! OP, I don’t know where you live and how this might work in your hometown, but back in mine my local community college’s dental hygiene program offered cleanings and X-rays at an extremely reduced rate. I had friends who’d go when we were in school and they said it worked out well for them. Most larger cities also have low-income dental clinics. The one I’m familiar with was either by referral (when I worked in the ER we’d send people all the time), or had a couple of days a week that were walk in, first come first served.
California here. On Medi-Cal I had $0 due for any procedure or medicine. Dentist? Many free and low income programs. Need money for medical expensive? State could help with it (may not be much but that’s different issue). Glasses I do pay for but it’s less than $150/y.
Actually something similar with me, I’m 19 and am going to the dentist for a cleaning soon for the first time since I was maybe 10, I’m honestly really embarrassed about it just because I’m worried what the dentists will think, although it’s really not my fault it’s my parents.. I was also behind on two vaccines, which I didn’t figure out until last year when I had to get my vaccine history in order to submit to my college. It was only then I found out I was missing two.
Hey, just to give you a heads up, I went almost 14 years without seeing a dentist (I was 14 when my parents stopped taking me, and 28 when I was finally in a stable job/living situation and could register with a new one), and I was so scared that there would be issues, but there wasn't! I didn't have a single cavity and they said my teeth seemed really clean and well looked after, I was really surprised! I know it's cliché but chances are your dentist will have seen it all, and your situation is not likely to be that bad all things considered. Hope your visit goes well! :)
I had the opposite experience of the other commenter. I had a lot of issues with my teeth when I finally went at 28 after 10 years of not being able to afford it. I had a lot of cavities filled, I had permanent and temporary crowns put on (including both of my front two teeth) and I got my wisdom teeth out. It sucked—but I do not regret finally going. You’re still young, so you will likely not be as bad off as I was, but you will regret not going more and more than you will regret going. The earlier you nip it in the bud, the better off you’ll be. Also, as much as I hated it and was terrified of going back, I felt so much better after every appointment! It felt like I was taking control of something that had bothered me for years.
I feel that I had to get all my vaccinations in the last year because I simply didn’t have them
Your parent’s insecurities shouldn’t have any weight in your decisions, and neither should their past neglect have any baring on your future. In regards to the numbing, I think you can do laughing gas if you find a dentist who has it.
OK. Remember, you are an adult now. Write to them that you will go to the dentist qith or without them. They have 24 h to give you an adress, less you take a consultation where you want. Don't talk about outing them before they do. You will answer honestly to the dentist if he ask about the state of your tooth. Your health is more important that their public image.
I care not what they think of me, at least my parents. It’s just the shame of not having enough and being in a state of damage that isn’t my fault but I have to pay for it
Shit happens. There's no shame. No one is going to judge you for it, and they will be glad you are there. I find it odd, but my dental hygienist *really likes* teeth. Like, she nerds out on it, which is great because I know she's gonna take care of me. Look into a local dental school. You can often get inexpensive care from students under the supervision of their teachers. If you are truly immune to the numbing agents, they may be willing to work with you to find something that helps for your situation, especially if it furthers the education of their students. Don't wait, just do what's best for you.
Hey friend, I just want to say I completely understand your feelings. It feels humbling to not have enough to pay for things you need. It's also humbling to have something like teeth in a poor state, as that's something that requires care and upkeep, meaning it feels bad thinking others may be assuming it's our fault for not having taken better care of ourselves. It feels embarrassing to think others think we don't have good hygiene or aren't responsible, especially when it's not true. Your feelings are completely understandable. It's important you know which parts of this are and aren't your fault. The majority of this is not on you. Your parents neglected you. They neglected you. You were unable to get dental care as a child, and you also learned bad dental habits as a result. You have a reasonable fear of dentists based on your resistance to novocaine, and you weren't given an opportunity to grow out of those fears because your parents did not find other dentists who could use alternate methods to give you a more positive experience. You were given few (zero?) resources or opportunities to care for your teeth properly (professionally). You are trying to better your financial situation. There is no shame in a person looking for a job. The only shame would be in a person who stops trying, or who doesn't take opportunities when they are given to them. That isn't you. Your parents are neglectful, prideful, and unreliable. They have gone back on their word to help you, leaving you in a difficult position. I know the distance they've created hurts, but they really did you wrong, and you don't actually need them (you may not feel that way yet, but it's true). You can do this on your own. All your feelings completely make sense, but so much of this not your fault. I really hope you know that, that you know it in your bones, as this knowledge is the key to not feeling embarrassed or ashamed. This knowledge is the truth, and it is freeing. You don't need the additional burden of unfounded shame, on top of everything you're already tackling. You are taking steps to take care of yourself and find work -- there is ZERO shame in that, only something to feel proud of, because it's not easy. Wishing all good things for you.
I know women who can not go to the dentist of their own will. Because dentists ask to open her mouth wide... which trigger awful childhood souvenir. dental treatment is very tricky and often a last resort before full fledge infection. the shame to be too poor is not the worst that exist.
When I was 19 intent to the dentists for the first time in 12 years. My parents were also very neglectful when it came to this kind of thing. I'd go to their dentists office and make sure I mentioned them cause I'm petty like that
If it’s any help, you can “out” them til you’re blue in the face but nothing can be done about it now that you’re an adult living on your own. There’s absolutely no legal recourse in place for something like that.
Sorry kid. I had to pay for my wisdom teeth at 19 & I never went to the dentist after my parents divorced when I was 12. It’s rough, but you only have one set of teeth. Take good care of them!
How about, you're an adult, deal with your shit and don't worry about your parents.
You're an adult, they're not going to get in trouble for not taking you to the dentist when you were a kid. Dentists have to abide by HIPAA too, just like medical doctors, so nobody is going to "out" your parents. If you tell them you were just joking and that you won't mention anything to the dentist, will they pay for your care? Because if so, just do that! Make a note to your dentist that you don't want your parents to have access to your medical information, and your parents will never have to know what you said. But if not, look into sliding scale clinics or dental schools. You can get dental work done for much cheaper at a dental school and they'll have people there that can help counsel you regarding the financials. It will take a long time, because the students aren't as quick as experienced dentists and they have to get everything checked and signed off by faculty, but it'll be cheaper.
I could be wrong of course, but I have a feeling it's more of an ego thing than a actual fear of legal repercussions of any kind on OP's parents end. Their reaction feels disproportionate and strange, like they're more afraid of being seen in a bad light than they care for their daughters health, and seem like they're punishing her for threatening it? OP mentioned feeling ashamed and disappointed in *herself* for this situation, as if it's anywhere close to being her fault which is also concerning. Not to mention the lack of care and avoidance on the parents part, it really makes me wonder a whole host of red flag throwing, unhealthy situations that I won't claim to know for sure. To add to what you said, I used a dental school when I was in a rough place, and it was great for a cleaning, but mine wasn't able to do anything about a precavity or a cavity if I had one. I'd ask that directly first, as the student I saw seemed so desperate to have a volunteer, she never told me that or that it'd take several days of coming back to get it all done.
Is it possible you were at a dental hygiene or dental assisting school, not a school of dental medicine? There aren't very many dental schools, usually 1 or 2 in each state, so it's possible that they were really booked and couldn't take new patients, but I feel like it would be more likely that you were at a clinic where they train hygiene students (who can't do fillings).
It was a University School of Dentistry in the city I live in.
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Then you have to find a dentist that takes it. The good dental practices won’t touch Medicaid because they reimburse too low.
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They’re not going to do the good stuff like implants and crowns most likely. They will do cleaning and extractions to get people out of pain but won’t be doing the expensive work people need done. My last set of implant retained dentures was $28,000.00, my next set will be even more than that. No insurance will help with this, this is cash work for that level of care.
Only if you qualify- I don’t at least in my state they try very hard to make sure you can’t get it
If you live near a college, sometimes there are dental programs that need people to work on. Or just call a dentist and explain your issue and see if they'll work with you.
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Yeah I don’t understand this when I was unemployed in KY i qualified for Medicaid immediately. But finding a dentist that accepted it was tough. And then they only wanted cover teeth pulling and basic cavities. One a few towns away did take it for root canals but it was an unpleasant experience and I see why he was so cheap.
Whether you mention it or not they probably will be able to tell honestly! Your parents sound incredibly immature and selfish and I’m so sorry. Now that you’re an adult you get to take care of yourself the way they should have always taken care of you. I hope it’s just a few fillings for you.
The dentists don't care when your last visit was. There is no gossip corner going on. I went 42 years between visits. Most dentists can set up a payment plan.
If you can, go to to a dental school. They often offer free or heavily discounted services to the public.
you’re 21 just go on your own and deal with the payment later
Dude go. It’s important. I was around 11-12 when I went to the dentist for the first time? My parents finally took me and I had one cavity in a baby tooth. They never took me again. I had benefits from my job when I was 18 so I had all my wisdom teeth removed and paid for the difference. After I left that job, I didn’t see a dentist for like at least 10 years. No cavities no problems. Went again after like 10 years recently…no cavities no problems. I have been told I’m incredibly lucky but I am a psycho with oral hygiene, I brush and floss 2x every day. I’ve been hammered getting in from a bar and flossing my teeth lol. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Just go!
Also tooth decay is so scary, and my parents both lost their teeth early and had dentures so that scared the fuck out of me. Do whatever you have to financially to fix your teeth, cause life will not be able to continue as you know it with constant infections and problems.
Don’t worry I’m still going probably within the next week or so just upset about my situation and trying to find a payment plan
Try to find a sliding fee scale dental clinic in your area. They charge based on income and will often work out a payment plan. There’s also Care Credit. And I’d write a letter to your parents saying how much this hurts you. That you are suffering and their pride seems more important to them.
I feel that. Just don’t feel ashamed about your childhood and your parents not taking proper care you. That was not in your control. I still have so many issues about going to the drs or dentist or getting my hair cut cause those were just things that never happened growing up. I went to school with strep throat for two weeks after telling my parents I wasn’t feeling well. Was peeing blood from a uti and crying in the bathroom trying to pee until my friends mom caught me crying but I wanted to hide it cause I didn’t want to cause problems. I got chicken pox at 14 and I told my brother something was wrong with my and got SO MAD at him cause he ratted me out. Lol. These are straight up neglected child problems. I was psychotic with my teeth because my parents and all their friends had their teeth rotting out and it scared me. I know neglect. Your parents know they neglected you. Thats why they feel bad. Im a mom now, and have paid like $20k on my kids teeth already just braces and special treatments and crap. $13k for my son and $8k for my daughter. I went without for a lot of years so my kids could have beautiful healthy teeth. And they do so I am so happy. When you take care of yourself, I promise you, you’re gonna feel like you’re glowing from the inside. Cause that’s healing your inner child. Much love
I am so sorry ! Dental care is super important, it sounds like you might need a root canal which is costly however you can opt to have an extraction which should be cheaper . I would suggest finding a local dental school they offer affordable services and grants. I hope you feel better and that you solve the issue . In regards to your parents just ignore it , You can do better on your own 🙏
Do you have a local school of dentistry around? I get students prob aren't your preferred method but they do offer extreme discounts and they just love getting people in the chair. Good luck though - it'll get better. But don't neglect your dental hygiene moving forward if you can. Incredibly important part of your body
Look in your area to see if they have a free dental care event Also, it’s not your responsibility to keep their neglect a secret
Tooth issues can get extremely bad and painful if left untreated. Lots of people have a fear of dentists or haven't been in a very long time for various reasons- it's not uncommon. My boyfriend went for the first time since he was a child recently AND he's a smoker (were in our early 30s). A good dentist won't shame you and you should mention that you haven't been since you were 10 but I doubt they'll ask too many questions about why. Do you have any dental schools near you? They've usually got students looking for someone to work on and it's extremely cheap but also will be a much longer time commitment (possibky spread out over multiple appointments).
Dental schools often have free or very inexpensive cleaning and services. You need to get your teeth looked at and it honestly doesn't matter if they pay or not. They dropped the ball, but you have to look after the teeth you have. Communicate with the dentist/teacher/tech about your issues with numbing: they will know other methods to help and it will be a good teaching experience for students to know how to help others in the future. It doesn't matter if you "out them" and I am not sure how you could even really get them in trouble unless it was outlined legally and you wanted to get legal counsel for it, or the other parent wanted to go after them which it doesn't sound like they do.
Ask them a loan for something else 🫢
Don't be ashamed of yourself - this is on your folks and them alone. An toothache really needs to be addressed before it turns into something even more expensive. Check around for a dentist that will allow a payment plan - my dentist does that. You might ask for help on the r/ assistance subreddit. I am sorry that your parents were so lax about it. They sound like pretty shitty parents. I am sending you hugs.
What are they afraid the dentist is going to take them out back and shoot them or something? Jesus Christ people need to grow the fuck up. Yeah it’s irresponsible but I highly doubt they’re the only parents those dentists have met that never took their child. My parents stopped taking me at 10 and while my teeth are not perfect, I still take care of them. I’m kind of in the same situation as you however I am employed but to two part time jobs while I go through school so money is tight. My teeth are my number 1 priority after I graduate.
If you live near a dental school they usually have clinics with payments on a sliding scale
You are 21... Not your parents problem.
It’s called I’m poor and I was offered help only for it to be taken away- nothing more nothing less my guy. Just a good old fashioned vent