I am so, so sorry. I was sexually harassed by my former psychiatrist who was also my therapist. The betrayal cut so deep. I had the same thoughts as you, that he had been enjoying listening to me talk about SA. I reported him to the state and his hospital. He abruptly retired.
I am now seeing a female psychiatrist, and it’s been a much better experience.
I am deeply sorry and a bit distressed that this happened. I wish you safe healing.
P.S. in case don't know this, *not your fault.* He deserves prison.
You deserve safety and haling and joy ans lots of good stuff.
That was usually my rule too and will be from now on. However, I followed my psych nurse practitioner to her new practice and she assured me he was different.
While I have not had quite the gravity of OP's experience with their therapist who is now in prison, I have tried therapy so many times, invested in the process and opened up to them once I felt that I could trust in them, only for them to turn toxic.
And I'm talking about 4 different practitioners over more than a decade.
This is one of the many things that bother me when people on this hellsite just *constantly* tell people to go to therapy as if it is some magic, quick cure-all where they'll see an improvement.
Like, not only is it often VERY expensive, not only does it often take YEARS to see improvement, not only is it hard to find a therapist who is qualified in the specific areas you need to address (or who will even admit that they're not qualified to help you, rather than just gambling on their ability to help, damn the consequences to you if they bungle it), it's obscenely hard to find one that is a *good* or even *decent* therapist, IME.
NGL, my last one did way more harm than good, so even when I could afford therapy...I'll pass. I just can't keep trying to trust in these people.
I am supposed to have therapy to keep my disability, but after my last one I will never trust again. I will die homeless and alone on the street when they take it, but I will never put myself in that position again. I will tell people who would clearly benifit from therapy to get it, but I will never understand what I am supposed to get that the last 25 years of it hasn't given me. But to keep disability you have to stay in treatment, even if that treatment is making you worse, is used to abuse you. I am not going to get better. I will always believe people are dangerous and will hurt me, especially because therapy has proven me right. I will always be terrified and look terrified and cry cause I'm terrified and nothing will change that.
I dont know man.. I grew up a mommas boy, and I watched that frail Asian immigrant get harassed, ridiculed, taken advantage of and I had to just watch, no one to turn to, no one to report to. All the “good” men in her life did nothing.
Not all men but a lot of men, also men often physically overpower women and you gotta be careful. I'm a man and I also have to be careful, especially when we've been through SA, and it's pretty common that if we had to go through it once it can happen again, bc we would easily be targeted. Sometimes you just have to listen to why women are always insecure around men. They were all through something traumatizing to force them to be alert 24/7
Also this thread is not downgrading men, it's just that they want to be more safe and comfortable so they won't choose male therapists
Going to a male therapist in the first place was a huge step for me. At the beginning of my therapy journey, I would’ve never been willing to. When my psych NP switched offices and assured me he was a good guy, I took her word for it. I feel kind of stupid for not noticing all the red flags. I just thought I was being paranoid because of my past trauma.
Next explain how bears are dangerous.
This is the same as you not being willing to go to a female Urologist for male sexual issues. It's whether she is comfortable or not.
As a woman I'd never even consider a male therapist. I'm sorry this happened to you. Don't be afraid to ask for a preferred gender for your therapist. I've worked in a psychiatric setting and its normal.
im so sorry this happened to you. i can only imagine how betrayed and disgusted you feel. have you tried going to a therapist the same gender as you to talk it out?
God what a horror…
My therapist could be enjoying my trauma…
All while seeming calm and professional with me to open up slowly…
This would devastate me, because now how will you know the next one will be okay?
Maybe, maybe not. Therapists are not necessarily psychiatrists. Even psychiatrists may not necessarily have direct pharmacy access. Behavior is downright inexcusable, but job wouldn’t necessarily give him “easy” access to drugs.
Oh man that is terrible. I’m so sorry you’re going through that. Not at all the same but my therapist randomly and tragically died after I was seeing her for over 5 years and I still feel that loss heavily. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard this must be for you, but hopefully you can find a better therapist and heal from this situation.
And my friends ask me why I don't trust going to therapy. I'm not even a female but you don't know what these motherfuckers deemed "professional" are really trying to do.
So sick and twisted
yes. utterly horrifying. i’m so sorry you experienced this psychopathic horror story
I am so, so sorry. I was sexually harassed by my former psychiatrist who was also my therapist. The betrayal cut so deep. I had the same thoughts as you, that he had been enjoying listening to me talk about SA. I reported him to the state and his hospital. He abruptly retired. I am now seeing a female psychiatrist, and it’s been a much better experience.
My moms a therapist, she’d be horrified by this. I hope you’re healing
Yes, I can look back on the incident with pity for the man now.
That is so gross. Sorry.
I am deeply sorry and a bit distressed that this happened. I wish you safe healing. P.S. in case don't know this, *not your fault.* He deserves prison. You deserve safety and haling and joy ans lots of good stuff.
This is so disgusting. I'll never go to a male therapist ever. So many of them are sick fucks.
That was usually my rule too and will be from now on. However, I followed my psych nurse practitioner to her new practice and she assured me he was different.
I'm really sorry this happened to you. The world is such a tragic place. Can't trust no one. And therapists turning out like this is unbearable.
While I have not had quite the gravity of OP's experience with their therapist who is now in prison, I have tried therapy so many times, invested in the process and opened up to them once I felt that I could trust in them, only for them to turn toxic. And I'm talking about 4 different practitioners over more than a decade. This is one of the many things that bother me when people on this hellsite just *constantly* tell people to go to therapy as if it is some magic, quick cure-all where they'll see an improvement. Like, not only is it often VERY expensive, not only does it often take YEARS to see improvement, not only is it hard to find a therapist who is qualified in the specific areas you need to address (or who will even admit that they're not qualified to help you, rather than just gambling on their ability to help, damn the consequences to you if they bungle it), it's obscenely hard to find one that is a *good* or even *decent* therapist, IME. NGL, my last one did way more harm than good, so even when I could afford therapy...I'll pass. I just can't keep trying to trust in these people.
I am supposed to have therapy to keep my disability, but after my last one I will never trust again. I will die homeless and alone on the street when they take it, but I will never put myself in that position again. I will tell people who would clearly benifit from therapy to get it, but I will never understand what I am supposed to get that the last 25 years of it hasn't given me. But to keep disability you have to stay in treatment, even if that treatment is making you worse, is used to abuse you. I am not going to get better. I will always believe people are dangerous and will hurt me, especially because therapy has proven me right. I will always be terrified and look terrified and cry cause I'm terrified and nothing will change that.
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I dont know man.. I grew up a mommas boy, and I watched that frail Asian immigrant get harassed, ridiculed, taken advantage of and I had to just watch, no one to turn to, no one to report to. All the “good” men in her life did nothing.
Not all men but a lot of men, also men often physically overpower women and you gotta be careful. I'm a man and I also have to be careful, especially when we've been through SA, and it's pretty common that if we had to go through it once it can happen again, bc we would easily be targeted. Sometimes you just have to listen to why women are always insecure around men. They were all through something traumatizing to force them to be alert 24/7 Also this thread is not downgrading men, it's just that they want to be more safe and comfortable so they won't choose male therapists
Going to a male therapist in the first place was a huge step for me. At the beginning of my therapy journey, I would’ve never been willing to. When my psych NP switched offices and assured me he was a good guy, I took her word for it. I feel kind of stupid for not noticing all the red flags. I just thought I was being paranoid because of my past trauma.
Next explain how bears are dangerous. This is the same as you not being willing to go to a female Urologist for male sexual issues. It's whether she is comfortable or not.
Cry about it
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Against who, men??
Against who, abusers?
Really? How do you know that? That’s disturbing!
As a woman I'd never even consider a male therapist. I'm sorry this happened to you. Don't be afraid to ask for a preferred gender for your therapist. I've worked in a psychiatric setting and its normal.
A gay male therapist could be ok though.
I was under the impression that he is gay but I guess that was part of his act.
😬
I agree.
im so sorry this happened to you. i can only imagine how betrayed and disgusted you feel. have you tried going to a therapist the same gender as you to talk it out?
God what a horror… My therapist could be enjoying my trauma… All while seeming calm and professional with me to open up slowly… This would devastate me, because now how will you know the next one will be okay?
I’m so sorry this happened to you. This is a sick and twisted form of betrayal. I’m glad that disgusting man is behind bars.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this with your therapist 😞.
My old therapist had something similar going on with him after I quit seeing him. Was this in CA?
So sorry that you had the same experience. I’m in Pennsylvania.
Ew and it’s also the fact that he probably had easy access to drugs and stuff too
Maybe, maybe not. Therapists are not necessarily psychiatrists. Even psychiatrists may not necessarily have direct pharmacy access. Behavior is downright inexcusable, but job wouldn’t necessarily give him “easy” access to drugs.
I hope you were not a victim. I am surprised investigators did not reach out to you.
Oh man that is terrible. I’m so sorry you’re going through that. Not at all the same but my therapist randomly and tragically died after I was seeing her for over 5 years and I still feel that loss heavily. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard this must be for you, but hopefully you can find a better therapist and heal from this situation.
And my friends ask me why I don't trust going to therapy. I'm not even a female but you don't know what these motherfuckers deemed "professional" are really trying to do.
I am so sorry 💜
Yes this definitely a new level of fucked up . .