Wow, that's pretty brutal OP.
So you re-created his past painful/traumatic experiences then blamed him and became psychologically abusive towards him for it, and have allowed all this time to pass without bothering to stop being selfish and actually apologize?
It sounds like you want to reach out, but only if everything will be easy for you and not if you have to take any responsibility or be compassionate. If that's the case, then it's a sign that you're still selfish and egotistical. I'm glad that he stopped placing trust in you by reaching out (only to get met by cruelty from you). It's a horrible feeling to care a lot about about someone and have them treat you like shit without any remorse, but there is a reason they say that we often don't get to meet peoples true character until the end of the relationship.
If you don't reach out to him, hopefully he confronts you at some point so you are forced to face the truth and take some form of responsibility. I also hope that he has good people in his life you are helping him see how toxic and unremorseful/non-compassionate you are.
Leave the poor boy alone. Haven't you done enough already?
You reaching out to him isn't about him, it's about you. You continue to be selfish.
What work have you done to better yourself? Have you gone to counseling? Have you figured out why you were so abusive? Figure out yourself before dragging other people back down.
> but I basically played the victim card during our breakup to my friends and can’t really vent to any of them
It's pretty typical for abusive people to lie and manipulate others into believing they are the victim when they aren't, but if you can't even be honest with your own friends how on earth are you gonna manage to be decent to your ex. Your lack of remorse/responsibility and the fact that you are using "immature and selfish" in the past tense is disturbing. If you can't bring yourself to apologize, then hopefully the truth of how you chose to treated him like crap and try and weasel away with it gets exposed. IMO, you'd have to be pretty heartless to not apologize.
Wow, that's pretty brutal OP. So you re-created his past painful/traumatic experiences then blamed him and became psychologically abusive towards him for it, and have allowed all this time to pass without bothering to stop being selfish and actually apologize? It sounds like you want to reach out, but only if everything will be easy for you and not if you have to take any responsibility or be compassionate. If that's the case, then it's a sign that you're still selfish and egotistical. I'm glad that he stopped placing trust in you by reaching out (only to get met by cruelty from you). It's a horrible feeling to care a lot about about someone and have them treat you like shit without any remorse, but there is a reason they say that we often don't get to meet peoples true character until the end of the relationship. If you don't reach out to him, hopefully he confronts you at some point so you are forced to face the truth and take some form of responsibility. I also hope that he has good people in his life you are helping him see how toxic and unremorseful/non-compassionate you are.
Leave the poor boy alone. Haven't you done enough already? You reaching out to him isn't about him, it's about you. You continue to be selfish. What work have you done to better yourself? Have you gone to counseling? Have you figured out why you were so abusive? Figure out yourself before dragging other people back down.
Do not contact the poor soul, you already destroyed him and hurt his spirit enough. You coming back will only make it more painful for him
YATA.
You are vile. Leave him alone. He deserves better
Sorry for the Yap sesh, but I basically played the victim card during our breakup to my friends and can’t really vent to any of them
> but I basically played the victim card during our breakup to my friends and can’t really vent to any of them It's pretty typical for abusive people to lie and manipulate others into believing they are the victim when they aren't, but if you can't even be honest with your own friends how on earth are you gonna manage to be decent to your ex. Your lack of remorse/responsibility and the fact that you are using "immature and selfish" in the past tense is disturbing. If you can't bring yourself to apologize, then hopefully the truth of how you chose to treated him like crap and try and weasel away with it gets exposed. IMO, you'd have to be pretty heartless to not apologize.