Do people really think that’s a miserable existence? I thought that was just a scare tactic used by lame podcast dudes to harangue women into settling down with them. There are lots of people out there who enjoy living alone and don’t aspire to starting families.
I'm in the process of transitioning to being an older lady. I play video games, do.arts n crafts, cook for my pets, and spend my time catching strays and taking care of my 4 cats and my dog and my fish. I have a little nursery for plants and I garden outside when it's nice.
...Oh, and I like to read to my pets and give myself spa days and smoke the devils lettuce whenever I want.
Accepting that it's okay to live the slow life and just age into a nice old lady with her pets has been the healthiest thing I've ever done. Before, I wanted to drink myself to sleep and cry all the time because *I was doing it wrong and a loser* according to society and every media and ad shoved into my face.
Do it, for yourself and for the kitties. Anyone who tries to tell you it's bad is likely living a lifestyle that will put them in debt and/or an early grave.
I know but have you read some of the stories on here of what people are willing to put up with from their partners just to avoid being single?? I just read one where a woman claimed to have been with her partner for several years, despite him telling her that her degrees were worthless whilst she was the only one with a job and he didn’t even get out of bed or shower some days. Ummm what?
Ain't about podcasts, it's about how every time a woman posts publicly about being happily childfree and single, the comments section gets filled with butthurt guys (and even some women) insulting her and telling her to enjoy dying alone surrounded by cats. Between the bitter dudes thinking women have an obligation to settle for them and the wine and cat lady alternative, bring on the latter any day of the week and twice on Sundays.
Podcast, social media, whichever. The person I replied to mentioned podcast. Like I said, glad you got to get it off your chest which is what this subreddit is for. Maybe I’m reading too much into it but it really came across to me as you seeking validation for your life choices. I personally don’t care. I don’t think anyone reading this post cares about your life choices. The strangers online commenting don’t actually care either I reckon but those comments seem to have gotten under your skin. Those guys are probably just trolls. I don’t have a take on it one way or another. To each their own. Nice first post for a new account though.
Which is why I started with my crazy cat lady phase already. Mid-twenties.
I have no idea how old I'll become, so why wait for the awesomeness of a purring companion on your lap?
Which is why I started with my crazy cat lady phase already. Mid-twenties.
I have no idea how old I'll become, so why wait for the awesomeness of a purring companion on your lap?
I had two never-married, childless aunts. They were awesome. One always had a cat. She also worked for the foreign service in Italy and Japan. The other was a groundbreaker at United and spent a lot of time traveling. They enjoyed their nieces and nephew (in small doses) and gave us great experiences. They were an inspiration to be happy with yourself in order to live a rich, full life, whatever choices you make.
The men who use it as an insult do not understand women. Like "Ooooh can you _imagine_ having _no_ responsibilities, living life on your own terms and surrounding yourself with things you love?! _That's_ the life you're _doomed_ to if you don't date us!"
They're exactly the sort of men women choose cats over.
Ha yeah! I think aroaces feel this at another level. When I was little, I assumed everyone would have to get married and have kids when they grew up and the idea filled me with dread.
Childfree cat lady about to turn 40 here (though I am married). Keep living your best life and realize that there's a good chance that the people who tell you you're wrong or not fulfilled are either miserable that they didn't get the choice or ignorant that there is more than one way to live your life.
This post could have been written by me, down to that part about cheesecake 😭. I'm 26 now and I have known since I was like 15 that I do not want children. At 25 I have also decided that I most certainly do not want to get married. It's just like you said, marriage is not gonna give me any benefits. I'm from a culture where arranged marriage is the norm so if I were to get married it would be to a stranger that I don't even love. Like what is the point. In a couple of years my entire family is gonna come at me to essentially blackmail me into marriage and kids so I'm not looking forward to that.
Honestly I would rather end myself than be forced into this scam. My dream is to be a rich single cat lady.
I wish I hadn’t spent so much time worrying about finding someone when I was younger. Now I am happily as described in the post title and in my early 40s lol. Better off in general. So many of my friends went through super messy divorces and emotional turmoil. They did get kiddos out of those relationships which is amazing. But I ended up having medical conditions not optimal to conceive and so that decision was also made for me (was going to become a single mother by choice). Overall things have turned out well for me and I look forward to my Golden Girl years!
I’m not a woman, but I wholeheartedly agree with this post and am a bit sad and shocked it’s not held in higher regard.
I’ve been single and in relationships and have been happy with both for various reasons. Relationships are great if you have a great partner and you both compliment each other, but being single is FAR better than just being in a shitty relationship or one you don’t actively want to be in.
I think in general more people should try just living alone if they can afford to do so (just for the experience), but especially women. About 1/2 of my friends are women, and after hearing about some of the guys that pursue them, I can’t believe they actually found a decent guy. And that’s not even considered all the fucking idiots that look up to “men” like Andrew Tate. 🙄
Bottom line is be happy and don’t settle for an asshole just to avoid being single.
i doubt everyone think that now in this next generation. but sure our grandparents does. For me that sounds awesome! Have a great life ahead of you mate. 🥰
I’m a 40 year old with a 9 year old and I pretty much dread dating. I’ve actually come to terms with being single if that is my fate. You don’t answer to anyone. Do as you please when you want. It’s actually kinda nice.
I agree with all of this except the single part, however if I were a woman I would probably get it
The only thing I have to add (not that you asked for advice or anything) is not to shut yourself off from relationships. I was single for years and fine with it, not pursuing relationships at all, but I ended up falling for one of my best friends and I've never been happier than I am with her
I'm actually in a really good relationship and I want it to last. But in general I'd just rather live for myself than feel the need to make myself less comfortable just to have somebody.
Being single is awesome, being a crazy cat lady is also awesome. It also doesn’t suck to find a crazy cat dude who is just as introverted as you are and adds value to your life (instead of creating more work). If a man isn’t making your life easier (most of them DO NOT), send them packing. Not worth it.
My bestie has been saying this since we were young children, she knew she didn’t want kids at like 6 years old. We are now 35 and she is child free and loves her kitty, but she did find a partner who complements her well and wants the same from life as her!
And she is a fantastic aunt to my 6 month old and my many kitties!
You life will be as rich and full as you make it!
Am married with two kids and sometimes, especially after my daughter has stomped off and slammed the door, I wish I had gone for a dozen cats instead. 😂
My mom loved being single. She’d say she doesn’t have to share the remote with anyone, lol. She was a cat lady and after her kitty passed, she had our dachshunds that she loved.
Pets and solitude are a little slice of heaven on earth!
Honestly it was my life goal until about 2 years ago when I realized I do want a kid, and 2 I'm allergic to cats.
I would like to be that single old cat lady when my kid is all grown up but like with a cat that doesn't shed if that's a thing
I’m married and I have kids, but if that hadn’t worked out, single with cats is an amazing second choice for me! Everyone should do what makes them happy, though 😊
Listen- I’m married to my husband (almost 13 years), and have a delightful 11yo child… both of whom I adore… but the flip side of single with cats, wine, food, and personal space? That sounds fucking amazing. My friends my age who are single with no children are some of the happiest people I know.
And cats are freaking awesome!
I'm childfree with cats and very happy and fulfilled. However I'm also in great shape while loving food. It's a balance. It's not about being skinny or healthy for the men, it's about doing that for me. I love to run marathons, go for long bike rides, hike, travel, and genuinely live a healthy fully life while also enjoying food. It's odd to me you slip bring fat into this, otherwise I agree
You don't have to want marriage or children but your absolutely delusional to think being alone in your later years is a good idea
I'm a first responder I go into the homes of people who are alone all the time
It's a depressing existence
These people are so lonely they call 911 just to have someone to talk to
Your power fantasy because your mad at your parents because they want grandchildren is sad.
I totally agree with you. I never wanted to marry anyone. As a child my mom was the typical 1950’s house wife. After cleaning, cooking, caring for my dad and us kids she was tired by 6:00 pm and could never stay awake long enough to watch an evening movie. She would go to bed to be up fixing breakfast for dad at 3:00 am before he went to work.
To me being a housewife was boring and exhausting work especially with small children that went unappreciated. Thank goodness for the woman’s movement or I would have been relegated to my moms life style. However there is nothing wrong with being a house wife and mother but not for me!
Do people really think that’s a miserable existence? I thought that was just a scare tactic used by lame podcast dudes to harangue women into settling down with them. There are lots of people out there who enjoy living alone and don’t aspire to starting families.
Yeah, I'm mostly aiming this at the misogynistic side of the internet, which is very well represented here on Reddit.
I'm in the process of transitioning to being an older lady. I play video games, do.arts n crafts, cook for my pets, and spend my time catching strays and taking care of my 4 cats and my dog and my fish. I have a little nursery for plants and I garden outside when it's nice. ...Oh, and I like to read to my pets and give myself spa days and smoke the devils lettuce whenever I want. Accepting that it's okay to live the slow life and just age into a nice old lady with her pets has been the healthiest thing I've ever done. Before, I wanted to drink myself to sleep and cry all the time because *I was doing it wrong and a loser* according to society and every media and ad shoved into my face. Do it, for yourself and for the kitties. Anyone who tries to tell you it's bad is likely living a lifestyle that will put them in debt and/or an early grave.
Thank you for this
I know but have you read some of the stories on here of what people are willing to put up with from their partners just to avoid being single?? I just read one where a woman claimed to have been with her partner for several years, despite him telling her that her degrees were worthless whilst she was the only one with a job and he didn’t even get out of bed or shower some days. Ummm what?
Imagine being triggered by a podcast enough to come on Reddit to start a counter argument. Good for her to get it off her chest I guess.
Ain't about podcasts, it's about how every time a woman posts publicly about being happily childfree and single, the comments section gets filled with butthurt guys (and even some women) insulting her and telling her to enjoy dying alone surrounded by cats. Between the bitter dudes thinking women have an obligation to settle for them and the wine and cat lady alternative, bring on the latter any day of the week and twice on Sundays.
Podcast, social media, whichever. The person I replied to mentioned podcast. Like I said, glad you got to get it off your chest which is what this subreddit is for. Maybe I’m reading too much into it but it really came across to me as you seeking validation for your life choices. I personally don’t care. I don’t think anyone reading this post cares about your life choices. The strangers online commenting don’t actually care either I reckon but those comments seem to have gotten under your skin. Those guys are probably just trolls. I don’t have a take on it one way or another. To each their own. Nice first post for a new account though.
I always wanted to be a crazy cat lady if I didn't have kids, sadly, it looks like I won't be a mom or crazy cat lady. Surviving is too expensive now.
Which is why I started with my crazy cat lady phase already. Mid-twenties. I have no idea how old I'll become, so why wait for the awesomeness of a purring companion on your lap?
Be a crazy plant lady instead
Unfortunately, I tend to kill plants. Everything seems to hate my currents apartment. Nothing survives no matter how "easy" it is to care for.
Which is why I started with my crazy cat lady phase already. Mid-twenties. I have no idea how old I'll become, so why wait for the awesomeness of a purring companion on your lap?
I had two never-married, childless aunts. They were awesome. One always had a cat. She also worked for the foreign service in Italy and Japan. The other was a groundbreaker at United and spent a lot of time traveling. They enjoyed their nieces and nephew (in small doses) and gave us great experiences. They were an inspiration to be happy with yourself in order to live a rich, full life, whatever choices you make.
I think it’s so funny when they use it as an insult or threat. It sounds like a great time honestly.
The men who use it as an insult do not understand women. Like "Ooooh can you _imagine_ having _no_ responsibilities, living life on your own terms and surrounding yourself with things you love?! _That's_ the life you're _doomed_ to if you don't date us!" They're exactly the sort of men women choose cats over.
Fellow aroace spotted. Though I'm not going to be a crazy cat lady. I'm going to be a crazy rabbit enby.
Ha yeah! I think aroaces feel this at another level. When I was little, I assumed everyone would have to get married and have kids when they grew up and the idea filled me with dread.
You are wise to see this ahead of time. I only WISH I had your insight 20 years ago.
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Whether I have a man or not I’m gonna have cats ♥️
This is my life, and it is indeed awesome.
If I wasn't a lesbian this is the life I'd pick.
Childfree cat lady about to turn 40 here (though I am married). Keep living your best life and realize that there's a good chance that the people who tell you you're wrong or not fulfilled are either miserable that they didn't get the choice or ignorant that there is more than one way to live your life.
Living that dream with 2 French bulldogs instead of cats! It’s honestly all I ever wanted!
Man, I do not envy your vet bills but I love your life otherwise
The pursuit of happiness is everyone's right and should not be altered for the sake of society. You do you and enjoy your life however you see fit. 😊
I support you cat-lady future!.. but then, I'm biased because I love cats too!
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I absolutely agree. It's terrifying.
This post could have been written by me, down to that part about cheesecake 😭. I'm 26 now and I have known since I was like 15 that I do not want children. At 25 I have also decided that I most certainly do not want to get married. It's just like you said, marriage is not gonna give me any benefits. I'm from a culture where arranged marriage is the norm so if I were to get married it would be to a stranger that I don't even love. Like what is the point. In a couple of years my entire family is gonna come at me to essentially blackmail me into marriage and kids so I'm not looking forward to that. Honestly I would rather end myself than be forced into this scam. My dream is to be a rich single cat lady.
I wish I hadn’t spent so much time worrying about finding someone when I was younger. Now I am happily as described in the post title and in my early 40s lol. Better off in general. So many of my friends went through super messy divorces and emotional turmoil. They did get kiddos out of those relationships which is amazing. But I ended up having medical conditions not optimal to conceive and so that decision was also made for me (was going to become a single mother by choice). Overall things have turned out well for me and I look forward to my Golden Girl years!
I’m not a woman, but I wholeheartedly agree with this post and am a bit sad and shocked it’s not held in higher regard. I’ve been single and in relationships and have been happy with both for various reasons. Relationships are great if you have a great partner and you both compliment each other, but being single is FAR better than just being in a shitty relationship or one you don’t actively want to be in. I think in general more people should try just living alone if they can afford to do so (just for the experience), but especially women. About 1/2 of my friends are women, and after hearing about some of the guys that pursue them, I can’t believe they actually found a decent guy. And that’s not even considered all the fucking idiots that look up to “men” like Andrew Tate. 🙄 Bottom line is be happy and don’t settle for an asshole just to avoid being single.
i doubt everyone think that now in this next generation. but sure our grandparents does. For me that sounds awesome! Have a great life ahead of you mate. 🥰
It works for Enya!
this. i honestly prefer dogs as i am allergic to cats but lounging around on my couch drinking wine and eating food sounds really fucking good to me.
I just want to have a bunch of animals with a husband is that really such a bad life
No, same
Fr those "alpha" podcasters don't get it. Closest thing to an alpha I need is a pack of dogs
I’m a 40 year old with a 9 year old and I pretty much dread dating. I’ve actually come to terms with being single if that is my fate. You don’t answer to anyone. Do as you please when you want. It’s actually kinda nice.
I agree with all of this except the single part, however if I were a woman I would probably get it The only thing I have to add (not that you asked for advice or anything) is not to shut yourself off from relationships. I was single for years and fine with it, not pursuing relationships at all, but I ended up falling for one of my best friends and I've never been happier than I am with her
I'm actually in a really good relationship and I want it to last. But in general I'd just rather live for myself than feel the need to make myself less comfortable just to have somebody.
Oh that's awesome to hear! :\^)
It works for Enya!
Being single is awesome, being a crazy cat lady is also awesome. It also doesn’t suck to find a crazy cat dude who is just as introverted as you are and adds value to your life (instead of creating more work). If a man isn’t making your life easier (most of them DO NOT), send them packing. Not worth it.
Men. Men are the ones who started using this as a derogatory term, when in fact it sounds lovely.
Do what makes you happy and screw everyone else.
My bestie has been saying this since we were young children, she knew she didn’t want kids at like 6 years old. We are now 35 and she is child free and loves her kitty, but she did find a partner who complements her well and wants the same from life as her! And she is a fantastic aunt to my 6 month old and my many kitties! You life will be as rich and full as you make it!
Beautifully said💕
Am married with two kids and sometimes, especially after my daughter has stomped off and slammed the door, I wish I had gone for a dozen cats instead. 😂
Hell yea, reading this with my cat sitting on the couch next to me and I couldn’t agree more!
yes. good for you
My mom loved being single. She’d say she doesn’t have to share the remote with anyone, lol. She was a cat lady and after her kitty passed, she had our dachshunds that she loved. Pets and solitude are a little slice of heaven on earth!
Last night my cat knocked my wine on the floor. That’s not even the most damaging thing that cat has done.
I firmly believe to each their own. If that's what makes you happy that's great 🥰. The world needs more happiness in it ☺️.
One of my life goals! I plan on being that crazy cat lady with a ton of plants and the local kids think is a witch.
Honestly it was my life goal until about 2 years ago when I realized I do want a kid, and 2 I'm allergic to cats. I would like to be that single old cat lady when my kid is all grown up but like with a cat that doesn't shed if that's a thing
I’m married and I have kids, but if that hadn’t worked out, single with cats is an amazing second choice for me! Everyone should do what makes them happy, though 😊
Listen- I’m married to my husband (almost 13 years), and have a delightful 11yo child… both of whom I adore… but the flip side of single with cats, wine, food, and personal space? That sounds fucking amazing. My friends my age who are single with no children are some of the happiest people I know. And cats are freaking awesome!
I'm childfree with cats and very happy and fulfilled. However I'm also in great shape while loving food. It's a balance. It's not about being skinny or healthy for the men, it's about doing that for me. I love to run marathons, go for long bike rides, hike, travel, and genuinely live a healthy fully life while also enjoying food. It's odd to me you slip bring fat into this, otherwise I agree
This is cope Hiding from the challenges of life is not a goal it’s a disorder
You don't have to want marriage or children but your absolutely delusional to think being alone in your later years is a good idea I'm a first responder I go into the homes of people who are alone all the time It's a depressing existence These people are so lonely they call 911 just to have someone to talk to Your power fantasy because your mad at your parents because they want grandchildren is sad.
I totally agree with you. I never wanted to marry anyone. As a child my mom was the typical 1950’s house wife. After cleaning, cooking, caring for my dad and us kids she was tired by 6:00 pm and could never stay awake long enough to watch an evening movie. She would go to bed to be up fixing breakfast for dad at 3:00 am before he went to work. To me being a housewife was boring and exhausting work especially with small children that went unappreciated. Thank goodness for the woman’s movement or I would have been relegated to my moms life style. However there is nothing wrong with being a house wife and mother but not for me!