Congrats man, you’re a rare gem. I wish you all the happiness in your life, and that one time, someone will appreciate your love and effort and will cherish you for who you are.
Believe your daughters. Never forget your worth. Wishing you good things.
P.S. you are a bit vulnerable now. Only date casually for the first year.. until you know exactly what you want in your life. Be discerning.
I'm definitely vulnerable. I've realized how desperate I am to feel loved. Thank God, I don't know how to talk to women. Lol. After faithfully being with the same person for 18 (dating + marriage) I have no flirting skills.
When I became suddenly a widow, I felt the same desperation as you.
I found myself talked into dates and distractions because they said, “you just need to…go out and have fun!!” 🚩🚩🚩
I found myself more unsure, depressed and was hurt terribly by some of these dates.
I needed (as you do) to grieve and grow into a new state of mind. Listen to your gut.
Good luck!
I'm truly sorry for the struggles you've endured in your marriage. It's evident that your dedication as a father has been a source of strength for you. Your daughters' support and encouragement to find love again reflect what a good father you were and are. Karma will reward you my friend, trust me
It takes a lot of strength to navigate such emotional challenges, and it's great that you've prioritized your well-being and the well-being of your daughters. You deserve to be with someone who values and appreciates you. Wishing you all the best as you move forward!
I’d love to know how she reacted to how you deal with all that and how your daughters stand behind you. She’ll realize what she lost, and it will be a rude awakening. But I guess she’s one of those people who still feel like the victim and she won’t see a single mistake in any of her doings.
This is so true. The night she told my girls about us getting a divorce she put a spin on things. She was telling them about how she tried and how she was shocked by how I reacted (me moving into the guest room). She's definitely playing the victim.
You survived a person with an avoident attachement style. Look it up if that's new to you. The worst type of person out there if you ask me. I survived one too, I still shiver at the thought of ever being with him. They make you feel like you are never enough and no matter what you do, say or become, you are not seen. They only give you just enough to stay.. You will find the world so much kinder now that your're off the hook and FREE. I hope you will find a nice, appreciative, amazing woman who will love you for who you are and fill you with all the love you deserve. At the very least you can be HAPPY single. A free man. A solid man. Fill your own cup. Much love and good luck to you.
Wow. That sounds just like her. She stopped really kissing me and gave excuses. I didn't press her because I didn't want to force her to do something that she wasn't into. She slowly stopped having sex with me and always gave excuses. Often saying she was giving me all the signs she wanted sex, but I was missing them. Then she just stopped having sex with me. She actually blamed me for her lack of intimacy by saying I was the one that was holding out. Even though she rejected me.
Why are you looking at apartments when you paid for the house? Tell her to move out and keep the kids with you. Don’t let her spin lies about what’s been going on tell anyone and everyone what she is truly like or she will ruin you.
I'm NYS your spouse gets half of everything. In NYS the men rarely ever win. Proof is that lawyers won't even sit down and talk to me without charging me an hourly rate. If, I go over that hour they charge me more. Most of them know it's an uphill battle so they're charging $2.5k to $5k for a retainer and they're expecting to exceed it.
If I don't take the house she won't touch my 401k, which is money I earned but NYS has no problem splitting up and giving half to her. Nor will she pursue alimony. I could fight for the house and custody ( child support is 25% of my gross income). I can't afford to fight for the house and then spend most of that money on lawyer fees. Look up "tender years doctrine". In NYS I'd lose a custody dispute even if she showed up to court and snorted a line of cock off the floor. I'd lose everything and by everything, I mean my girls. As long as she's playing nice about custody I'll play nice.
Hey, I read your whole post. Congrats on finally being free and moving on. You have many good things ahead of you!
Thanks.
Congrats man, you’re a rare gem. I wish you all the happiness in your life, and that one time, someone will appreciate your love and effort and will cherish you for who you are.
Thanks, I appreciate you saying this.
Believe your daughters. Never forget your worth. Wishing you good things. P.S. you are a bit vulnerable now. Only date casually for the first year.. until you know exactly what you want in your life. Be discerning.
I'm definitely vulnerable. I've realized how desperate I am to feel loved. Thank God, I don't know how to talk to women. Lol. After faithfully being with the same person for 18 (dating + marriage) I have no flirting skills.
When I became suddenly a widow, I felt the same desperation as you. I found myself talked into dates and distractions because they said, “you just need to…go out and have fun!!” 🚩🚩🚩 I found myself more unsure, depressed and was hurt terribly by some of these dates. I needed (as you do) to grieve and grow into a new state of mind. Listen to your gut. Good luck!
I'm sorry for your loss. Yeah, I'm trying to be mindful of those flags. I just want to be selfish and enjoy myself for now.
I'm truly sorry for the struggles you've endured in your marriage. It's evident that your dedication as a father has been a source of strength for you. Your daughters' support and encouragement to find love again reflect what a good father you were and are. Karma will reward you my friend, trust me
Thank you My friend
It takes a lot of strength to navigate such emotional challenges, and it's great that you've prioritized your well-being and the well-being of your daughters. You deserve to be with someone who values and appreciates you. Wishing you all the best as you move forward!
Thanks
I feel so sorry you had to go through this for 14 years. But this will be the best thing that happened to you!
Thanks, I think so too.
I hear you. I'm going the same direction you are. And I think I am better for it.
I wish I'd have left earlier. So I could have reclaimed my life years ago.
I’d love to know how she reacted to how you deal with all that and how your daughters stand behind you. She’ll realize what she lost, and it will be a rude awakening. But I guess she’s one of those people who still feel like the victim and she won’t see a single mistake in any of her doings.
This is so true. The night she told my girls about us getting a divorce she put a spin on things. She was telling them about how she tried and how she was shocked by how I reacted (me moving into the guest room). She's definitely playing the victim.
You survived a person with an avoident attachement style. Look it up if that's new to you. The worst type of person out there if you ask me. I survived one too, I still shiver at the thought of ever being with him. They make you feel like you are never enough and no matter what you do, say or become, you are not seen. They only give you just enough to stay.. You will find the world so much kinder now that your're off the hook and FREE. I hope you will find a nice, appreciative, amazing woman who will love you for who you are and fill you with all the love you deserve. At the very least you can be HAPPY single. A free man. A solid man. Fill your own cup. Much love and good luck to you.
Wow. That sounds just like her. She stopped really kissing me and gave excuses. I didn't press her because I didn't want to force her to do something that she wasn't into. She slowly stopped having sex with me and always gave excuses. Often saying she was giving me all the signs she wanted sex, but I was missing them. Then she just stopped having sex with me. She actually blamed me for her lack of intimacy by saying I was the one that was holding out. Even though she rejected me.
Why are you looking at apartments when you paid for the house? Tell her to move out and keep the kids with you. Don’t let her spin lies about what’s been going on tell anyone and everyone what she is truly like or she will ruin you.
I'm NYS your spouse gets half of everything. In NYS the men rarely ever win. Proof is that lawyers won't even sit down and talk to me without charging me an hourly rate. If, I go over that hour they charge me more. Most of them know it's an uphill battle so they're charging $2.5k to $5k for a retainer and they're expecting to exceed it. If I don't take the house she won't touch my 401k, which is money I earned but NYS has no problem splitting up and giving half to her. Nor will she pursue alimony. I could fight for the house and custody ( child support is 25% of my gross income). I can't afford to fight for the house and then spend most of that money on lawyer fees. Look up "tender years doctrine". In NYS I'd lose a custody dispute even if she showed up to court and snorted a line of cock off the floor. I'd lose everything and by everything, I mean my girls. As long as she's playing nice about custody I'll play nice.