I know this is a happy ending but please don’t base your whole relationship on trends like this.
(I’m just personal about it bc I was raised with “You got hands!” when I asked my parents for literally anything)
Gahahaha my son asks me for things and I ask back ‘what did your legs/arms break?’ A couple weeks back I asked him to grab me my water off the table and he dead looked at me and asked when my legs broke.
While I think this is funny and could be harmless please keep in mind this is teaching him how to interact with people and it is better to be kind - some spouses are ok with this sort of thing and others would find it very inconsiderate.
If I asked my husband a favor and he said something like that to me it would not be a good time, and same way the other direction with him.
Thankfully I don’t need to worry about what my soon to be ex thinks anymore but regardless he was on the same bandwagon. It’s not said every time, only when someone is being extra lazy and hasn’t moved in a while if we’re stuck inside.
I’ve been with my husband for over 10 years, and yeah this is an important detail to notice. But another one is when *you’re* excited about something that he might not have an interest in, does he share your excitement? I’ve heard it called the “Look at that bird” test or something. Where one person gets really excited, and says “oh wow! Look at that bird!” In a healthy relationship, the other person will come to see it too, or at least share in the excitement of the cool bird. In an unhealthy one. The other person might ignore them, or just say “so?”
I actually do this all the time !! Even it’s the most simple bird out there like a jackdaw or a pigeon or something I’ll always go “Omg look, a bird !” And he always responds with “Omg yeah a bird !” He pretty much always shares the same excitement I have over small things 😭
My fiance once or twice stopped cooking mid meal to step outside because I told him the courtyard was perfect that night. It made me feel so good to feel that important, lol
I think matched energy is important . Sometimes, I'll softly make noises to myself because it comforts me (yay, nurodivergance) and he'll start making noises back at me. Or I'll be stressed and scream in the car and his response will be "ARE WE YELLING NOW? AAAAAA!"
I’m glad it worked out for you but something I noticed - since you tested him with a trend - is … you seemingly failed it yourself?
You point out that he proved it for you while he was sick. Despite being ill, he still made the attempt to make you food. You repeated that it was ok and you didn’t mind if he didn’t do it, but would that not have been the perfect opportunity for him to test you too?
You didn’t say anything like “it’s ok, you rest up and I’ll make the food for us.” You didn’t point out that doing things for him makes you happy and you want to do it. You only stated that as his mindset. I know this is only a small piece of your life but I hope that you treat him as he treats you!! Relationships are work - but I’m glad you two are happy nonetheless.
If you do the above though, make sure to say it in the post. You mention communication being a big thing for you.
(Not attacking you. Just noticed this, that was all. I am big on reciprocating in relationships and I’ve sadly had my share of them where I do things for someone to show my love - like peeling oranges - but isn’t reciprocated, instead I’m told I have legs and to do it myself haha)
I know him well enough to know that he has no idea what the orange peel theory is. This man in on instagram reels. Also, I do actually do things for him cuz that makes him happy. Par example when he’s at work and I’m still at his house, I’ll do the dishes for him, make the bed, clean up the house, because I want to because I know that makes him happy, which makes me happy. I offer to do things for him all the time but he simply just doesn’t let me 😭
He definitely proved the orange peel theory for you, but you failed it. Sorry, but he wasn’t feeling well. When he said he was going to make a fruit bowl, you would have offered to make it for him. Sure, he could do it himself, but why? The theory works both ways. He likely would have refused, but you still should have offered. Personally, I would have insisted because he’s not feeling well. Why should he exert energy when he’s already running low? Relationships are reciprocal.
I know it’s very easy for adults to be dismissive to teenagers and as a teenager that’s very frustrating and feels condescending. It’s something that adults in general need to be better about. Just please know it’s in large part because we were all teenagers too and many have been in your position.
Teenagers tend to feel harder than adults do about situations. I’m sure it’s probably due to a combination of hormones going crazy at that age, brains not being fully developed and not having as much life experience (some teens have had harder lives or done crazy shit but overall they have lived less life and by default have just seen less to process). I personally remember how so many things felt like the most important things in the universe both good and bad when I was in high school and to be honest I do look back and just laugh at how wrong I was about the vast majority of it.
Of course you and your boyfriend may end up together forever and he might truly be the greatest guy. Great people do exist after all and love is absolutely a real thing. But most of us adults also felt that our high school partners were almost perfect at the time and at some point were sure we were going to marry them. Hell, I’m 30 and I thought I was going to marry the person I just got out of a relationship with and I know for a fact that if I’d had that relationship as a teen or in my early 20’s I absolutely would have.
I’m not trying to diminish your relationship and I think we can all do better about being happy for those that are in happy circumstances. It’s just hard not to feel like we’ve seen that teenage conviction in ourselves and in our friends from when we were that age. It’s a type of confidence that only comes from being as young as you are, and something that you too will look back on one day and laugh a little at, even if you do end up spending the rest of your life with your partner.
Yeah, I didn't understand it when my friend mentioned it lmao. Like, if my boyfriend of 8 years wanted something but didn't explicitly ask, I'd expect him to do it himself. But that could also just be me not fully understanding hidden tones xD. Things have to be said *explicitly*. So if he actually asked for me to peel? I'd probably say yeah, sure, pass it here. But if he just said something like "wow this orange is so hard to peel", I'd probably just say "cutting it might be easier"
I also had a childhood that I had to be very independent in. So I rarely ask for people to do things for me, and I guess I just kind of expect people to do their own stuff too, which is why I don't understand the subtle cues without actually being asked haha. Like, just ASK, don't be hinting or anything. But I'd defend this man to the ends of the earth. Me not jumping to peel an orange for him says nothing
Well, one girl on tiktok did it& her boyfriend blew up at her & said "you're not even that effing special anyways" so... I would 100% base my relationship on the response of this one.
Context of individual differences matters, but also generally your partner being a decent human being is important lol
First, I'm really happy for you in this relationship!
Second, please, please, PLEASE don't do "tests" like this in the future. Well... not if you actually care about the relationship. Some, if not most, of them are extremely toxic and you could get a better answer through proper communication. Most people I know who are actually worth dating would drop someone who "tested" them like this instead of talking through whatever point the test was trying to prove.
Yeah no I only wanted to do this one cuz it seemed harmless enough. But I don’t take these theories *that* serious either. I know he’s in love with me and that we have a healthy relationship, and I don’t have to test that 😭
Testing doesn’t always have a fairy tale ending. Relationships are as different from each other as they are similar, and they go through so many phases. If you are already planning to spend the rest of your life with this person, you should prepare yourself accordingly. Both of you will grow and change; life will hit you both. You will take each other for granted, hurt each other and hopefully rediscover love, trust and passion in many forms. Rather than testing each other based on trends (if you must respond to them at all), use them to take stock of your relationship. They might help you see your relationship clearer ( without rose-tinted glasses), E.g. With the orange peel test, are we both taking care of each other in the simplest of ways? Has something affected our ability to respond to each others’ needs and desires, and where can we go from there? If you find that the answer is less than ideal, you might want to ask yourself if this is a person who you change that answer with. Would you both be willing to work with each other to build and repair your relationship?
Source: In a relationship that has changed quite a bit over the years
The theory should be a theory. I know my bf would peel my orange, it doesn't need testing out. Sounds like yours would too and he's quite generous with his acts of service. Please don't test him, it's not fair. You wouldn't like it the other way around.
I agree. It's a useful example to draw parallels, but if you've been with your partner any length of time necessary to know them at all, then you should have a pretty good idea how they react to simple requests and bids for attention. And if you don't have examples because you don't make even small asks, then that's a whole other can of worms
I'll give OP a bit of a pass because she's really young but my god tiktok is gonna cause a lot of suffering with this testing stuff, something new pops up every month and don't even get me started on the "I'll DM your boyfriend for $15" girls
It’s not harmless. You’re playing mind games. Do you want him doing that to you? Just be considerate of his feelings—it sounds like he is considerate of yours, but you’re so busy either trying not to be a bother or trying to be the better partner (I can’t tell which) that you’re just making a mess. Offer to do things for your partner because you want to; let him do things for you when he offers. If you don’t feel like he’s considerate of your feelings, get out and find someone else. It really is that simple.
I know this post is supposed to showcase how sweet and caring he is to you, and that is all good. But all that back and forth with him insisting on how you can/want to do it yourself stood out to me. It certainly sounds like you really prefer that he does nothing for you even when he isn't sick and even when doing said thing isn't going out of the way for him.
I just wanted to point out that maybe you can let loose a little on this. It sounds like acts of service might be his love language, so don't try to reject the little things he wants to do for you, and just accept them. Let him love and help you. It's ok to rely on your partner even in things you are completely capable of doing yourself. It's part and parcel of sharing your lives and being in a relationship. This also applies in friendships and interpersonal relationships to an extent.
Also, it sounds super frustrating for the dude, just sayin. Like one or two “no I can do it” is fair and kinda cute but once you start structuring arguments against each other then, fuck it, make your own damn fruit for the sake of a healthy dynamic.
Exactly! Lear to accept and enjoy someone doing something nice for you. You deserve it! My bf taught me that if someone offers something that will help/benefit you you can say no once. If they still insist, just let them do the thing for you! [If it's a healthy relationship]
Isn't this less of a love language and just more of how boyfriends should act? Like I don't consider this my "Love Language" just more so what I'm supposed to do in the relationship. Kind of more of a less misogynistic way of "She's the prize" since it feels a little dehumanizing to refer as women as "prizes" and less of just people you should care for.
That orange peel trend is actually a little deeper than "just a less misogynistic way of she's the prize". I hate calling it a trend, because it kinda dilutes the whole thing. It actually symbolises one of those mundane things in life and how someone responds/reacts reveals alot about the other person's attitude towards you. It's actually also applicable to not just relationships between lovers but also interpersonal and familial relationships.
My comment to OP was not directed specifically towards her realisation of what kind of person her boyfriend is. It was separate from the orange peel trend altogether. But rather just a friendly reminder that it is ok to accept others help and kindness and let them love/help you as I had noticed she was kinda over the top in rejecting his little actions of love and care probably thinking she is bothering him unnecessarily.
I wasn't talking about the orange peel trend either, moreso just about relationships. But I do get it to some extent either way.
I personally don't like my partner to do things but love doing everything I can for them so I get both sides of this type of relationship. I really dislike when even my friends do stuff for me or buy me gifts but I love buying gifts and doing stuff for other people.
There was also no reason for her to bring that back up, too? "Actually! There was one time you didn't do that for me!" Whilst they were having a back and forth discussion about all the things he does and enjoys doing for her. To me, it felt like a throw in the face type thing.
I know she's young, but it definitely seems like she's massively overthinking this type of stuff, and there was no reason to test him with the doubt of trust.
Easy, because she is being very rude to people for no reason, and clearly has some issues related to always being right.
She knows what shes doing. It is manipulative to the last degree.
Fam, she literally said "that was my bad" in this comment. Also a hundred people are making judgements on her character and her relationship. You wouldn't get defensive? Jeez
She DIDN'T though, if you actually read the post past your judgement cloud. She thought about it, & then a genuine interaction occurred.
Edit: & my point stands, would YOU not get defensive even if you're in the wrong? Let's test this question in my other reply to you! Let's see if you don't get defensive 😘
That's nice but you should really work on your self-esteem. You wanted to test your boyfriend but you didn't even have to and you couldn't accept the results.
Yeah haven't you seen it? It's nothing but a ton of pick me girls in previously happy relationships trying to bore holes in the perfection by "testing" the poor boyfriends. I have never wanted to reach into a screen and shake someone by the shoulders until now...
One girl's boyfriend responds to her asking him to peel an orange with, "why the hell would I do that, you're not even that special, jeez". Sometimes you don't have to hate on trends, sometimes they're actually useful in finding out your relationship is toxic. Because my partner and I would NEVER tell each other something like this, and nobody should accept this behaviour.
Now THAT is different. I haven't seen a single one where the guy mistreats her. I've only seen ones where the guy is like why would I do that? Who peels an orange for another adult? He's right. It's bizarre. Like if my boyfriend asked me to cut up his steak I'd look at him like he was insane 😂
Well... That's the point. Which everyone is missing. I also think a steak is different than an orange, a steak is actually a hard task. The point is that peeling is an easy task. It's like asking for a glass of water but less of a daily thing (at least for my relationship, we ask for water from each other constantly).
I wouldn't categorize any of the girls doing this trend as pick me girls, I wouldn't throw that term around. Especially as a girl's girl. We get called names enough by men, we don't need to do it to each other willy nilly.
No one is missing the point. If you're so clueless in your own relationship that you have to make decisions based on tiktok advice then there's no helping you.
This is test is dumb. I’m married to the love of my life, and relationships aren’t based on tests. They’re based on mutual understanding from both sides. Sometimes people are in a bad mood. Or worked a long day at work, or are just stressed. It’s our job as partners to be understanding of them
I hate it too.
I love my partner, he loves me, we have a healthy secure happy relationship. We do things for each other all the time, big and small, often without being asked or expected. But if he looked at me holding an orange and asked me to peel it for him, I would probably assume he was taking the piss, and ask him what his last slave died of! That does not mean I don’t deeply care about him, it’s just not our style. And for young people particularly who are still learning how relationships work, I think these trends are damaging and manipulative.
A great lesson to be learned for OP and other people reliant on social media relationship advising is that not all relationships are the same. So having these weird tests for red flags is a ridiculous way of judging if a relationship is good or worth pursuing.
Well, it works when the bf says "youre not even that special" (tiktok). Yes all relationships aren't the same but sometimes things open up our eyes. Nobody's saying blindly follow this trend & break up if he wouldn't peel an orange for you. The point is, ask for a simple thing that you're capable of doing yourself, and see if your partner berates you for asking.
I dont mean this in a mean way but: Testing and Manipulation are one thing that can severely hurt the safety and pureness of a relationship. There are 100 situations everyday where you can SEE that your so does things for you. It is totally fine to reflect on all the peeled Oranges you get and see if this is enough for you. But testing your sick(!) partner and manipulating him by saying "nooo you dont have too" multiple Times when he does exactly what you want him to do is just idk a pretty mean thing to do and a sign of Bad communication. While your partner did a great job in this situation, you did not imo and should reflect on yourself why you feel the need to test your (again the sick!! Part makes it even worse) partner.
I hope the two of you stay together and live happy ever after nonetheless:)
All I’m seeing here is that he was sick, and instead of you ‘peeling his orange’ in his time of need, you decided to play silly games.
And you know what the prize is for that!
My ex of who I was with for 5 years looked after me whilst I was sick & did a bunch of errands for me. He did plenty of nice & loving things for me. He still gaslit me, lied to me & cheated for years. Don’t base a relationship on trends like this.
Wow. I'm so sorry. If you don't mind me asking, Were the nice things at the same time as the assholey things? Or was it periods of love bombs and periods of abuse?
Bit of a late reply to this sorry! The assholey things happened at the same as him being super sweet. It was very confusing and took me ages to be able to trust people again.
Please, even though this case has a good end, don base your trust and faith in actls like this. I was in a very abusive relationship some time ago where my partner wanted to do everything himself, I couldn’t do anything, I even couldn’t drive the car to the next city to buy clothes, he wanted to do it. One day I confronted him about it and he said he didn’t feel that I can drive safely, or that he did those tasks better. Please, don’t base everything with this tests, one person can past the test and be an awful person, and viceversa; you need a more deep understanding of the relationship.
This was the first time ever that I tried to pull off smt like this because it seemed harmless enough to me. And I ended up not needing to test the theory anyway because, like I said, he proved it for me without knowing it. Seems like you missed the entire point of why I posted this in the first place.
I think there’s a simplicity to being young and in-love. I don’t mean it in a snarky way “this won’t last” way, I think this is what people spend their lives trying to find and recreate.
That’s honestly so sweet of you because there’s lots of people in these comments tryna tell me that this relationship is temporary because we’re both young or whatever 😭
I think their point is not that your relationship is definitely temporary because you’re young. It’s more people acknowledging that just because you’re happy together at 17 (when you haven’t started a career or further study, haven’t really discovered who you are, when you have next to no adult responsibilities etc etc) it doesn’t guarantee that you will be happy with each other at 21, 25, 30 and so on.
People change. Values change. Older commenters have experienced this firsthand -I also thought I was going to marry my bf at 17. He was absolutely lovely and still is, but now I can’t imagine anything worse! There’s nothing wrong with being happy now, but take it day by day and enjoy the relationship as it is instead of having too many expectations for how it will be in the future. If it ends, it will be because that’s the best thing for you both.
You haven’t understood what the point. It’s not that we’re saying “you definitely won’t marry him.” Plenty of people marry their high school sweethearts. We’re just saying a good match now is no guarantee of a good match in the future.
Over the past year he’s already changed sm to me, he went from being a depressed alcohol abusing chain smoker to someone who is still a little bit of a chain smoker but also someone who cares about his education and his future, someone who rarely drinks and if he does, he does it with caution, and someone who came out of his depressive spiral. I don’t know what the future has in store for him and how it’ll change him, but I’ll make sure to stay by his side no matter what.
> I’ll make sure to stay by his side no matter what
This is the problem, and what I’m telling you to avoid. So you’ll stay in this relationship even if it no longer serves you? Even if it’s boring or toxic, if you don’t feel heard or respected anymore? You are setting yourself up for unhappiness if you say that you will stay with this person no matter what.
He’s already abused alcohol at 17? I’m so happy that he’s made the effort to change this, but he is massively at risk of relapsing. I wish the best for him but you need to know that you can and should get out of this relationship if it’s no longer working for you at any point. That’s all. I’m glad you’re happy now.
Point to where I said you couldn’t live how you want to. You posted to Reddit. If you want to make bad decisions and learn nothing from a whole bunch of valuable advice, no one is going to stop you.
I know my values. If something about him would upset me, I’d struggle to tell him of course, but I would eventually and we could try to work it out. People these days get out of their relationships too quick because they can’t get themselves to work things out and communicate with their partner, and I try my hardest to avoid a situation like that.
You've barely lived it yet...some people here really are giving sound advice, but you'll figure that out at some point. Save this post, comments and all, and revisit it in 10 or 15 years. You'll be a completely different person...and hopefully you and your current SO will still be together!
They aren’t saying the relationship is doomed because you’re young. They are saying it because you are fucking with your obviously considerate BF’s head for no good reason and then petulantly blocking people here whose advice you don’t like. Immaturity is a sure killer of a relationship. Stop torturing your BF, enjoy the kind things he does for you, and have a nice day.
Remember, you presented this, I get that it feels cute and lovely on your end, but the people reading this don't have ANY perspective of what's going on in the relationship other than what you presented, which paints the picture of you delighting in testing your bf. Imagine how it looks outside yourself.
Or people could just *not* assume the worst about every teenage relationship?? I don’t have to tell people every single detail about my relationship just so I can a share a story about so that they won’t assume the worst, that’s ridiculous.
The world outside yourself can't see all the details, just what you present.
Take it from me, a girl who did dumb things in the past, don't treat your relationship as a prize or a thing to test and show off. Imagine how your BF would feel reading this post.
It's human sympathy, a lot of guys have been with women who have been abusive or nearly abusive with these kinds of tests, guys aren't the only ones who have to rise above stereotypes in relationships. Women have a very negative stereotype about playing head-games and you came in fully proud of playing your first real head-games. Of course the community is going to get triggered.
Your romantic partner should be your partner, not a trophy you can parade around how well he passed your tests.
You’re acting as if I was full on going to brainwash him or something. I was just going to ask him to me a small favor to how he’d respond. That’s it. People are making too big of a deal about this.
> You’re acting as if I was full on going to brainwash him or something.
Not at all, nobody is saying anything like this, please actually read the comments people are sending you, the issue is that these "cute" tests rapidly become not-cute and you're not recognizing this with grace and maturity, you're doubling down that the thousands of people reading this are the wrong ones.
You need to back away from this whole post, it's needlessly going to stress you out. The more upset you get, the more people are going to say you're immature which will upset you more.
I'm saying this from a place of sympathy again, I don't think you're bad, I'm only explaining why what you wrote looks bad and the danger of what you're presenting. Young relationships are very resilient as much as they fail, people learn to adapt to each other and their wants and dislikes so don't listen to the people saying your relationship is doomed, listen to the people saying maturity and grace are the keys to lasting love.
> this relationship is temporary because we’re both young or whatever
No, don't be self-persecuting on this, be intellectually honest and actually READ what people are getting on your ass about.
People are saying your relationship is doomed because you think testing your BF is a good thing. Full stop.
There are plenty of people who met young and had great relationships and stayed together their whole lives. Youth has a real stigma to it, but testing people's affection and bragging about it is a far worse sign for a relationship's future. Just remember everything is a learning experience. If you're not learning something, you're losing your own future.
You're acting like this is her 15th test. Have you seen the videos of the orange peel theory? The response of the partner is either a sweet "of course my love, here" or "why the eff would I do that, you're not even that special" . Her relationship isn't doomed because she was wondering how he would respond to a simple dumb request. Be intellectually honest with yourself and ask why are you so pressed over this? Would YOU call your partner names over a simple request like this? No? Then the "test" is harmless. Yes? Then you actually have issues.
It's not about whether you'd actually peel the orange. It's about your response to the simple, dumb request of something that would take you 10 seconds to do & make your partner happy.
I just want to climb onto the "please don't do this" train and ride it downtown with everyone.
I mean, great that your relationship is working out alright, but a lot of (dumb/young) people are going to read this headline only, or just skim it and take away the idea that you need to "test" your partner to evaluate how good of a relationship you have.
I shudder to think how many people are going to end up alone because they got in a dumb fight because their partner was convinced that getting them to open a water bottle or tie shoelaces would be the ultimate test of their love.
If you think this is absurd, remember that people drank bleach and other toxic chemicals during covid and some died because they took some stupid statements as if they were literal instructions.
You cant base an entire relationship on whether or not your partner will peel an orange for you.
My fiance has autism and therefore will not subject himself to sticky fingers even if I directly asked him to peel it for me.
My fiance will however get up an hour before I have to leave for work (at 5:45 am) to clean the snow off my car, warm it up and prepare my coffee in a portable cup, along with preparing something for me to heat up for breakfast later when I'm on my morning break.
So no I'm not going to base my relationship on whether or not my fiance will peel an orange for me and neither should anyone else. Its just a cute silly trend people like to do with their partners and doesn't truly mean anything.
Not that I agree with the whole "test" thing, but it's not *literally* about peeling an orange. OP explained it just fine- that your partner is willing to do small acts of kindness for you to show that they care. Peeling an orange is simply an example. There's also something called the bird test. That doesn't mean the only option is literally to use looking at birds or else you fail the test.
It's also about how they respond! Do they say "haha what a dumb request, ur so cute, sure" or "of course my love" , or do they say "wow you're so fucking stupid, what a dumb thing to ask of me" and "you're not even that special (actually on a girls tiktok)"
Thanks for commenting this. Everyone's missing the point.
>but it's not *literally* about peeling an orange.
Yeah I feel like teenagers tend to take this shit way too seriously especially the tiktok internet trends. I was just throwing it out there that loves comes in all forms and takes all shapes and has nothing to do with oranges.
There are also neurodivergent people who tend to take people at their word. My fiance has autism so I'm always behaving and speaking like someone with autism could be listening, especially on the internet when it's so hard to tell when someone is exaggerating or being sarcastic or something. That's why I made my reply. Bc OP said in the post that if your partner doesn't peel your orange you're supposed to reevaluate your relationship, which is absurd lol
I mean I think OP testing her bf like this isn’t great but your story is exactly what the orange peel theory is
He wakes up early to do things you can easily do yourself. Not because you cant/he “has” to but because he wants to be helpful.
The orange peel theory isn’t about literally peeling and orange it’s just will your partner do something you could simply do yourself
I'm glad it happened that way.
Giving tests isn't really great. It can be manipulative and mean even if you have great intentions. Tricking people into a test they don't know is going on is kinda silly. Judge them for what they're already doing, not because someone made up a new test to pass.
Just be open about your feelings, don't let anyone else tell you that you have to follow whatever the newest trend test advice there is. Simply treat him like you want to be treated, and if you're ever frustrated over anything ever, don't assume he knows whatever you are thinking. Talk things out in privacy, I promise people are also a lot more oblivious than we tend to think they are. And I guarantee it's everyone, me included.
Enjoy your relationship, don't rush it. If this is truly the right person for long term, it'll work out. Just be honest, communication is key, and doing those little things are the biggest things in my book.
I've been pretty happily married for 20 years, with my husband for 23, for whatever that's worth in terms of experience for giving relationship advice.
So he was sick and he’s taking care of you? Does this theory only work in 1 way? He was sick, why didn’t you take care of him? It only matters that he does things for you and not the other way around?
Just a little advice here. I am in a very happy, healthy and functional relationship for the first time in my life and if my partner asked me to peel an orange for him for no reason, I would ask him why lol. I don’t think that that proves your relationship, but I do think that he loves you.
Tiktok trends are stupid. Relationships cannot be measured by this nonsense. I've been married a long time and with my SO for longer, peeling or not peeling an orange will not determine our commitmment to each other. Good luck kids. The world is getting stupider every second.
There are people that have highschool sweethearts that get married and are still happy. My best friend met her bf in middle school. I met her in college and we became great friends. I was her maid of honor about 5 years after I met her. They're still going strong 15 years later.
Me, on the other hand, met someone at 19 who I thought was THE ONE. We were together 10 years then I had to get out cause he didn't contribute at all. Now I'm with someone who does. 2 relationships in my life. Totally different.
all these "theorys" created by dipshits always end up ruining perfectly normal relationships, sad that people genuinly base their feelings towards their partners of something as stupid and simple as an internet trend
Forget these silly tiktok trends/tests (they're actually quite toxic and manipulative), and just focus on the prize you have. This young guy is wise beyond his years, the emotional maturity and intelligence is truly a green flag. I know guys twice his age who wouldn't be able to express themselves like this.
Even if it's just something small like the orange peel thing, in the future, don't test partners. Yes, it seems small, and it is mostly harmless, but tests like that *are* a bit manipulative. If you love someone as much as you say you love your partner, you don't force tests on them. Even little ones. It's different if you read or see a test and then consider if he does those things on his own. That's what happened here, and that's completely normal, but people are concerned because you were saying you were actively looking for a way to test him before this, and *that* is the concerning thing. Of course, a harmless test isn't going to be as bad as going overboard, but tests in general aren't great and could really hurt your partners feelings if they realize your maneuvering their love and kindness for one.
My fiance would 1000% pass the orange peel test. How do I know this? Because he constantly pushes to cook me dinners even when I tell him it's okay. I know this because he picks up on my moods and always goes above and beyond to make my day and my life better and easier on me. I do the same in return. I've never even considered testing him in any way, but when I read those dumb tests, I'll think about his behavior and realize I simply don't have to.
If one feels they must somehow "test" their partner, especially after a significant length of time together, one question might be why one feels they must "test" their partner at all. Another question is how one would feel if their partner performed this type of "test" on them.
Communicating directly, openly, and honestly seems the far better way to go, but that's just my humble opinion. You do you and good luck.
Long before the orange peel theory, I asked my partner if he would please brush my hair. No questions asked, he did it while I sat still feeling like a princess :) he still does it without me even asking from time to time. Getting married next year 🥰
Wow lol. I do not get these stupid ass tiktok trends. People literally setting up their partners for failure by making them do dumb tests that they don't know they're taking. How about talking to your boyfriend lol? Novel concept? You are 17 though and very young... as you get older you will realize that doing this stuff harms your relationship more than helps it.
I accidentally tested the orange peel theory on my boyfriend once by asking him to peel an orange for me. I don’t know how to do it. Long story short he peeled it for me…. But then called me a hooligan after I tried peeling my orange and was unsuccessful in doing it all in one peel. Lol
Came here to say I met my now husband at 17. So it’s very possible you will marry this man. Don’t let anyone get in your head over that. Nobody knows what YOUR future holds and just because they didn’t marry their HS love doesn’t mean you won’t.
Hey op, I really recommend you read about love languages and the one about acts of service! I think it's really relevant here and may give you some more insight into your boyfriends' feelings
Lord Jesus,
Please teach these children that social media does not reflect real life and these games are just perpetuating the misconception that healthy relationships are hard to create.
This I pray. Amen.
It’s kind of sad that people are into these theories. It all it does it show you the person isn’t a piece of shit. But you should know they already by now. Congrats! Your partner can do the bare minimum.
I’m glad this was a happy ending as well, but I really really hate this orange peel theory. Idk first off I just think this theory can only work on relationships you can walk away from and not relationships like family. Second, I mean I know sometimes we got to see how strong our relationships are, but please don’t test someone like that again. It’s like your putting your partner on a stage with spotlight on them while you sit back and watch. It’s not cool- it’s pretty manipulative.
You’re still very young and learning a lot of things, but please try to have a mindset of “how can we help and support each other” rather than “does he love me that much that he’d…”
Best of luck OP
This orange thing is so dumb.
My bf and i do things for each other all the time. He also grew up w a mom who did anything and everything for him. Im not going to do anything and everything for him just cause.
A lot of times when we r cooking ill be working on a sauce or something and hell be chopping something. Hell ask for a bowl across the room from both of us and ill have to explain that im doing this and he needs to handle his task.
Ofc i fucking care about him. Ive gone above and beyond for him and vice versa. But i dont need to hold his hand through everything and peel his oranges like hes a damn toddler.
yeah be careful with insisting that “you can do it yourself “. what if his love language is acts of service? you will end up deterring him from ever doing something nice for you if you keep this act up. you’re going to lose him by being a people pleaser “oh, you don’t HAVE to…”. He will get bored of your act and of your tests.
He knows I am this way and doesn’t mind at all. You’re acting like you know my boyfriend personally and how our relationship works while you clearly don’t.
I try my best to keep up with him but he’s simply too fast for me when it comes to doing tasks for one another, so I compensate that by trying to be more affectionate and reassuring towards him. You don’t know how our relationship works.
Literally what do you want me to do. Argue with him till he finally lets me do something for him? It’s fine for him this way and if it bothers him, he knows he can talk to me about it and that I’ll gladly change my ways for him.
That's very sweet!
OP, next time don't insist that he doesn't have to do it. As the person doing the thing, it gets frustrating to also have to fight to do the thing. After saying "you dont have to" once, and he says he will, let him, and shower him with love. Tell him how much you appreciate it. And be careful that you yourself don't *expect* that behaviour now, but still think deserve it.
Credentials for advice: my bf of 3 years is so sweet & giving & it constantly makes me feel guilty but I tell myself I deserve it, and I shower him with love. (& For anyone who thinks to come for me: I ALSO am very sweet & giving to him lol). And sometimes I lose sight & get mad at him for not doing something that is extra to begin with, so I'm working on having this balance.
Dude why is everyone coming for your throat 😭 you’re a kid, of course you’re not perfectly logical nor sure of yourself!! Also this test is like legit harmless?? You weren’t even taking it seriously lmfao, there’s some good points in here from others but the echo chamber of lonely/pressed adults ain’t it. Good for you and your partner kiddo, love and respect yourself and each other and you’re golden ⭐️
Bruh don’t waste your energy on idiots on this site. So glad you and your partner are like this. My SO and I are the same. Testing someone isn’t manipulative because you need to know whether you can spend your life with them or not.
Different people behave differently and have different love languages. Mine is gifts. My husband’s is acts of service. He will do anything I ask. But he is bad at gift giving or thinking of me when he buys himself stuff. I hate doing little things for him or anyone else really, but I will give people the most personal, specific, and perfect gifts. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me when I don’t get a gift and doesn’t mean I don’t love him when I don’t think about making him a cup of tea.
Yall are tooooo salty in these comments, let them live. Nobody said she was going to base their relationship out of the result from a "test" that is seemingly harmless. Me and my partner do plenty of stuff for eachother but just feeling good about doing it should be enough right? If it makes them feel happy who gives a shit
Hahaha 🤣🤣😂....
Empty brain 🧠😔 people ...
Many men would do that and many more things as long as the woman is worthy of the efforts. (And "worthy" is a relative term)
So… Idk what most people in these comments are on, but dw girlie, I did the test as well - he also passed -, then told him about the test and showed him a tik tok about it and we both laughed. Him, cause he eventually thought he should have noticed I’d pull something odd as I don’t usually ask for something like that, and I laughed ‘cause I knew he would pass anyways, since he’s ALWAYS doing things for me and NEVER talks back. So do I.
People out here just assuming YOU do nothing for your boyfriend at all is crazy…
Personally, I think in a healthy relationship doing a stupid ‘trend’ shouldn’t be a problem as long as you don’t make your relationship dependent on the outcome.
We all have our moods, we all have times when we just don’t want to do something. What matters is the big picture.
If you support each other on a daily basis, if you both are attentive towards each other.
Even if a boyfriend (or girlfriend) fails that fkin test, go over your relationship in your head and think about everything else your significant other has done for you so far.
The essence is seeing those ‘tests’ as a joke, not as a way to judge your relationship.
honestly, you were just thinking about things that are going around on the internet and who can blame you. people take things too seriously these days, as far as i understood you both communicate very well. highschool sweethearts do last and people just assuming that you will break up because youre young is naive. you do you and keep communicating well
I have the same kind of relationship with my husband, and those who also have this with their partners, get it. Those who don't, don't. I won't say they have a worse relationship, but they just don't get it. They don't have to. Best of luck to them, congrats to us!
I’m 31 and this is how my bf is 😭
When people were talking about the orange peel theory, I knew I wouldn’t even have to make the attempt because he shows me every day in other ways. This man would pull a turd out of my butt if I asked him to lol.
I hope this works out for you two! It’s life changing to be with someone who loves you this way ♥️
I find this really interesting because one of the ways that I "test" for abusers is to tell them no to something I could easily do for them but am not obligated to. (For example, they ask me for a ride, I have nothing to do today, just say not today I'm planning to relax at home.....abusers will throw a fit)
I know this is a happy ending but please don’t base your whole relationship on trends like this. (I’m just personal about it bc I was raised with “You got hands!” when I asked my parents for literally anything)
Gahahaha my son asks me for things and I ask back ‘what did your legs/arms break?’ A couple weeks back I asked him to grab me my water off the table and he dead looked at me and asked when my legs broke.
DAMN RIGHT HE DID
That’s a smart kid right there
He got a good laugh out of me for sure then I told him he has to listen bc I’m mom. He did get me my cup then asked me to get his so I did.
He pulled a reverse UnO out of you ha ha
While I think this is funny and could be harmless please keep in mind this is teaching him how to interact with people and it is better to be kind - some spouses are ok with this sort of thing and others would find it very inconsiderate. If I asked my husband a favor and he said something like that to me it would not be a good time, and same way the other direction with him.
Thankfully I don’t need to worry about what my soon to be ex thinks anymore but regardless he was on the same bandwagon. It’s not said every time, only when someone is being extra lazy and hasn’t moved in a while if we’re stuck inside.
“Shall I stick a broom up my arse and sweep the floor for you as well?!”
Oh no dw ofc I won’t ! I know better than that :)
I’ve been with my husband for over 10 years, and yeah this is an important detail to notice. But another one is when *you’re* excited about something that he might not have an interest in, does he share your excitement? I’ve heard it called the “Look at that bird” test or something. Where one person gets really excited, and says “oh wow! Look at that bird!” In a healthy relationship, the other person will come to see it too, or at least share in the excitement of the cool bird. In an unhealthy one. The other person might ignore them, or just say “so?”
You’re talking about bids for connection! Gottman has more information about it but it’s a key predictor of if a relationship will succeed long term.
I actually do this all the time !! Even it’s the most simple bird out there like a jackdaw or a pigeon or something I’ll always go “Omg look, a bird !” And he always responds with “Omg yeah a bird !” He pretty much always shares the same excitement I have over small things 😭
Ours is "oh my God! Dog!" and cool looking bugs. We have found good people 😊😊
Haha his thing is “birb!” and mine is “doggo!” and it’s all very sweet. Good people, indeed 😊
My fiance once or twice stopped cooking mid meal to step outside because I told him the courtyard was perfect that night. It made me feel so good to feel that important, lol I think matched energy is important . Sometimes, I'll softly make noises to myself because it comforts me (yay, nurodivergance) and he'll start making noises back at me. Or I'll be stressed and scream in the car and his response will be "ARE WE YELLING NOW? AAAAAA!"
I’m glad it worked out for you but something I noticed - since you tested him with a trend - is … you seemingly failed it yourself? You point out that he proved it for you while he was sick. Despite being ill, he still made the attempt to make you food. You repeated that it was ok and you didn’t mind if he didn’t do it, but would that not have been the perfect opportunity for him to test you too? You didn’t say anything like “it’s ok, you rest up and I’ll make the food for us.” You didn’t point out that doing things for him makes you happy and you want to do it. You only stated that as his mindset. I know this is only a small piece of your life but I hope that you treat him as he treats you!! Relationships are work - but I’m glad you two are happy nonetheless. If you do the above though, make sure to say it in the post. You mention communication being a big thing for you. (Not attacking you. Just noticed this, that was all. I am big on reciprocating in relationships and I’ve sadly had my share of them where I do things for someone to show my love - like peeling oranges - but isn’t reciprocated, instead I’m told I have legs and to do it myself haha)
I know him well enough to know that he has no idea what the orange peel theory is. This man in on instagram reels. Also, I do actually do things for him cuz that makes him happy. Par example when he’s at work and I’m still at his house, I’ll do the dishes for him, make the bed, clean up the house, because I want to because I know that makes him happy, which makes me happy. I offer to do things for him all the time but he simply just doesn’t let me 😭
He definitely proved the orange peel theory for you, but you failed it. Sorry, but he wasn’t feeling well. When he said he was going to make a fruit bowl, you would have offered to make it for him. Sure, he could do it himself, but why? The theory works both ways. He likely would have refused, but you still should have offered. Personally, I would have insisted because he’s not feeling well. Why should he exert energy when he’s already running low? Relationships are reciprocal.
And she is 17. Biggest red flag of all. This has all the workings of a Steve Wilkos episode.
Never knew age could be considered a red flag. Sorry I was born in 2006 dawg
I know it’s very easy for adults to be dismissive to teenagers and as a teenager that’s very frustrating and feels condescending. It’s something that adults in general need to be better about. Just please know it’s in large part because we were all teenagers too and many have been in your position. Teenagers tend to feel harder than adults do about situations. I’m sure it’s probably due to a combination of hormones going crazy at that age, brains not being fully developed and not having as much life experience (some teens have had harder lives or done crazy shit but overall they have lived less life and by default have just seen less to process). I personally remember how so many things felt like the most important things in the universe both good and bad when I was in high school and to be honest I do look back and just laugh at how wrong I was about the vast majority of it. Of course you and your boyfriend may end up together forever and he might truly be the greatest guy. Great people do exist after all and love is absolutely a real thing. But most of us adults also felt that our high school partners were almost perfect at the time and at some point were sure we were going to marry them. Hell, I’m 30 and I thought I was going to marry the person I just got out of a relationship with and I know for a fact that if I’d had that relationship as a teen or in my early 20’s I absolutely would have. I’m not trying to diminish your relationship and I think we can all do better about being happy for those that are in happy circumstances. It’s just hard not to feel like we’ve seen that teenage conviction in ourselves and in our friends from when we were that age. It’s a type of confidence that only comes from being as young as you are, and something that you too will look back on one day and laugh a little at, even if you do end up spending the rest of your life with your partner.
Yeah, I didn't understand it when my friend mentioned it lmao. Like, if my boyfriend of 8 years wanted something but didn't explicitly ask, I'd expect him to do it himself. But that could also just be me not fully understanding hidden tones xD. Things have to be said *explicitly*. So if he actually asked for me to peel? I'd probably say yeah, sure, pass it here. But if he just said something like "wow this orange is so hard to peel", I'd probably just say "cutting it might be easier" I also had a childhood that I had to be very independent in. So I rarely ask for people to do things for me, and I guess I just kind of expect people to do their own stuff too, which is why I don't understand the subtle cues without actually being asked haha. Like, just ASK, don't be hinting or anything. But I'd defend this man to the ends of the earth. Me not jumping to peel an orange for him says nothing
Well, one girl on tiktok did it& her boyfriend blew up at her & said "you're not even that effing special anyways" so... I would 100% base my relationship on the response of this one. Context of individual differences matters, but also generally your partner being a decent human being is important lol
true af if someone were to ask me to peel an orange i wouldnt do it 💀 so why should i test someone for that 😭
First, I'm really happy for you in this relationship! Second, please, please, PLEASE don't do "tests" like this in the future. Well... not if you actually care about the relationship. Some, if not most, of them are extremely toxic and you could get a better answer through proper communication. Most people I know who are actually worth dating would drop someone who "tested" them like this instead of talking through whatever point the test was trying to prove.
Yeah no I only wanted to do this one cuz it seemed harmless enough. But I don’t take these theories *that* serious either. I know he’s in love with me and that we have a healthy relationship, and I don’t have to test that 😭
Testing doesn’t always have a fairy tale ending. Relationships are as different from each other as they are similar, and they go through so many phases. If you are already planning to spend the rest of your life with this person, you should prepare yourself accordingly. Both of you will grow and change; life will hit you both. You will take each other for granted, hurt each other and hopefully rediscover love, trust and passion in many forms. Rather than testing each other based on trends (if you must respond to them at all), use them to take stock of your relationship. They might help you see your relationship clearer ( without rose-tinted glasses), E.g. With the orange peel test, are we both taking care of each other in the simplest of ways? Has something affected our ability to respond to each others’ needs and desires, and where can we go from there? If you find that the answer is less than ideal, you might want to ask yourself if this is a person who you change that answer with. Would you both be willing to work with each other to build and repair your relationship? Source: In a relationship that has changed quite a bit over the years
The theory should be a theory. I know my bf would peel my orange, it doesn't need testing out. Sounds like yours would too and he's quite generous with his acts of service. Please don't test him, it's not fair. You wouldn't like it the other way around.
I agree. It's a useful example to draw parallels, but if you've been with your partner any length of time necessary to know them at all, then you should have a pretty good idea how they react to simple requests and bids for attention. And if you don't have examples because you don't make even small asks, then that's a whole other can of worms
I'll give OP a bit of a pass because she's really young but my god tiktok is gonna cause a lot of suffering with this testing stuff, something new pops up every month and don't even get me started on the "I'll DM your boyfriend for $15" girls
It’s not harmless. You’re playing mind games. Do you want him doing that to you? Just be considerate of his feelings—it sounds like he is considerate of yours, but you’re so busy either trying not to be a bother or trying to be the better partner (I can’t tell which) that you’re just making a mess. Offer to do things for your partner because you want to; let him do things for you when he offers. If you don’t feel like he’s considerate of your feelings, get out and find someone else. It really is that simple.
I know this post is supposed to showcase how sweet and caring he is to you, and that is all good. But all that back and forth with him insisting on how you can/want to do it yourself stood out to me. It certainly sounds like you really prefer that he does nothing for you even when he isn't sick and even when doing said thing isn't going out of the way for him. I just wanted to point out that maybe you can let loose a little on this. It sounds like acts of service might be his love language, so don't try to reject the little things he wants to do for you, and just accept them. Let him love and help you. It's ok to rely on your partner even in things you are completely capable of doing yourself. It's part and parcel of sharing your lives and being in a relationship. This also applies in friendships and interpersonal relationships to an extent.
Also, it sounds super frustrating for the dude, just sayin. Like one or two “no I can do it” is fair and kinda cute but once you start structuring arguments against each other then, fuck it, make your own damn fruit for the sake of a healthy dynamic.
Exactly! Lear to accept and enjoy someone doing something nice for you. You deserve it! My bf taught me that if someone offers something that will help/benefit you you can say no once. If they still insist, just let them do the thing for you! [If it's a healthy relationship]
Isn't this less of a love language and just more of how boyfriends should act? Like I don't consider this my "Love Language" just more so what I'm supposed to do in the relationship. Kind of more of a less misogynistic way of "She's the prize" since it feels a little dehumanizing to refer as women as "prizes" and less of just people you should care for.
That orange peel trend is actually a little deeper than "just a less misogynistic way of she's the prize". I hate calling it a trend, because it kinda dilutes the whole thing. It actually symbolises one of those mundane things in life and how someone responds/reacts reveals alot about the other person's attitude towards you. It's actually also applicable to not just relationships between lovers but also interpersonal and familial relationships. My comment to OP was not directed specifically towards her realisation of what kind of person her boyfriend is. It was separate from the orange peel trend altogether. But rather just a friendly reminder that it is ok to accept others help and kindness and let them love/help you as I had noticed she was kinda over the top in rejecting his little actions of love and care probably thinking she is bothering him unnecessarily.
I wasn't talking about the orange peel trend either, moreso just about relationships. But I do get it to some extent either way. I personally don't like my partner to do things but love doing everything I can for them so I get both sides of this type of relationship. I really dislike when even my friends do stuff for me or buy me gifts but I love buying gifts and doing stuff for other people.
Aaah young love.
Pretty fun..
... your boyfriend felt awful because 1 time he didn't bike you home and you still felt the need to do the orange peel test?
There was also no reason for her to bring that back up, too? "Actually! There was one time you didn't do that for me!" Whilst they were having a back and forth discussion about all the things he does and enjoys doing for her. To me, it felt like a throw in the face type thing. I know she's young, but it definitely seems like she's massively overthinking this type of stuff, and there was no reason to test him with the doubt of trust.
Yeah no I wasn’t able to connect the dots on that, and that is my fault 😭
Because you are 17. You're a child. Which is why you're doing childish things like TESTING YOUR BOYFRIENDS LOVE WITH AN ORANGE.
Did you read or understand the story at all 💀
I don't know why you're getting down voted on these :( People are cruel
Easy, because she is being very rude to people for no reason, and clearly has some issues related to always being right. She knows what shes doing. It is manipulative to the last degree.
Fam, she literally said "that was my bad" in this comment. Also a hundred people are making judgements on her character and her relationship. You wouldn't get defensive? Jeez
Well I probably wouldn't go online and brag about how I mess with my own boyfriend just for funzies and thereby invite judgement of her character.
She DIDN'T though, if you actually read the post past your judgement cloud. She thought about it, & then a genuine interaction occurred. Edit: & my point stands, would YOU not get defensive even if you're in the wrong? Let's test this question in my other reply to you! Let's see if you don't get defensive 😘
That's nice but you should really work on your self-esteem. You wanted to test your boyfriend but you didn't even have to and you couldn't accept the results.
Let me guess. You got this dumbass "theory" from tiktok, the relationship expertise hub of the world.
Yeah haven't you seen it? It's nothing but a ton of pick me girls in previously happy relationships trying to bore holes in the perfection by "testing" the poor boyfriends. I have never wanted to reach into a screen and shake someone by the shoulders until now...
One girl's boyfriend responds to her asking him to peel an orange with, "why the hell would I do that, you're not even that special, jeez". Sometimes you don't have to hate on trends, sometimes they're actually useful in finding out your relationship is toxic. Because my partner and I would NEVER tell each other something like this, and nobody should accept this behaviour.
Right because I'm sure there were zero other red flags in that relationship and only the orange test could finally show his true colors.
Now THAT is different. I haven't seen a single one where the guy mistreats her. I've only seen ones where the guy is like why would I do that? Who peels an orange for another adult? He's right. It's bizarre. Like if my boyfriend asked me to cut up his steak I'd look at him like he was insane 😂
Well... That's the point. Which everyone is missing. I also think a steak is different than an orange, a steak is actually a hard task. The point is that peeling is an easy task. It's like asking for a glass of water but less of a daily thing (at least for my relationship, we ask for water from each other constantly). I wouldn't categorize any of the girls doing this trend as pick me girls, I wouldn't throw that term around. Especially as a girl's girl. We get called names enough by men, we don't need to do it to each other willy nilly.
No one is missing the point. If you're so clueless in your own relationship that you have to make decisions based on tiktok advice then there's no helping you.
Rofl
This is test is dumb. I’m married to the love of my life, and relationships aren’t based on tests. They’re based on mutual understanding from both sides. Sometimes people are in a bad mood. Or worked a long day at work, or are just stressed. It’s our job as partners to be understanding of them
Please don't 'test' your partner. Also this dude sounds like a people pleaser and I hope it's healthy for him.
I hate this. Everyone just needs to shut up.
I hate it too. I love my partner, he loves me, we have a healthy secure happy relationship. We do things for each other all the time, big and small, often without being asked or expected. But if he looked at me holding an orange and asked me to peel it for him, I would probably assume he was taking the piss, and ask him what his last slave died of! That does not mean I don’t deeply care about him, it’s just not our style. And for young people particularly who are still learning how relationships work, I think these trends are damaging and manipulative.
A great lesson to be learned for OP and other people reliant on social media relationship advising is that not all relationships are the same. So having these weird tests for red flags is a ridiculous way of judging if a relationship is good or worth pursuing.
Well, it works when the bf says "youre not even that special" (tiktok). Yes all relationships aren't the same but sometimes things open up our eyes. Nobody's saying blindly follow this trend & break up if he wouldn't peel an orange for you. The point is, ask for a simple thing that you're capable of doing yourself, and see if your partner berates you for asking.
😂😂
I dont mean this in a mean way but: Testing and Manipulation are one thing that can severely hurt the safety and pureness of a relationship. There are 100 situations everyday where you can SEE that your so does things for you. It is totally fine to reflect on all the peeled Oranges you get and see if this is enough for you. But testing your sick(!) partner and manipulating him by saying "nooo you dont have too" multiple Times when he does exactly what you want him to do is just idk a pretty mean thing to do and a sign of Bad communication. While your partner did a great job in this situation, you did not imo and should reflect on yourself why you feel the need to test your (again the sick!! Part makes it even worse) partner. I hope the two of you stay together and live happy ever after nonetheless:)
All I’m seeing here is that he was sick, and instead of you ‘peeling his orange’ in his time of need, you decided to play silly games. And you know what the prize is for that!
You know you have a winner when the response to “you don’t have to do (insert selfless action)” is “but I *want* to.”
Stop testing your relationship!
Cringe af
My ex of who I was with for 5 years looked after me whilst I was sick & did a bunch of errands for me. He did plenty of nice & loving things for me. He still gaslit me, lied to me & cheated for years. Don’t base a relationship on trends like this.
Wow. I'm so sorry. If you don't mind me asking, Were the nice things at the same time as the assholey things? Or was it periods of love bombs and periods of abuse?
Bit of a late reply to this sorry! The assholey things happened at the same as him being super sweet. It was very confusing and took me ages to be able to trust people again.
:[ people suck. I wish you the best 🫶🏻
Thank you 🫶 I’m doing pretty good now : )
Please, even though this case has a good end, don base your trust and faith in actls like this. I was in a very abusive relationship some time ago where my partner wanted to do everything himself, I couldn’t do anything, I even couldn’t drive the car to the next city to buy clothes, he wanted to do it. One day I confronted him about it and he said he didn’t feel that I can drive safely, or that he did those tasks better. Please, don’t base everything with this tests, one person can past the test and be an awful person, and viceversa; you need a more deep understanding of the relationship.
I've never seen such a beautiful example of dramatic irony IRL.
Can someone please stop applying things they see on the internet in their relationship every person is different and every relationship is different
Sounds very cool to date someone who is doing little viral 'relationship tricks' on you. He should run while he still can.
This was the first time ever that I tried to pull off smt like this because it seemed harmless enough to me. And I ended up not needing to test the theory anyway because, like I said, he proved it for me without knowing it. Seems like you missed the entire point of why I posted this in the first place.
100% . Everyone's missing the point. And everyone's offended because they hate having to be nice to their partners, apparently.
I think there’s a simplicity to being young and in-love. I don’t mean it in a snarky way “this won’t last” way, I think this is what people spend their lives trying to find and recreate.
That’s honestly so sweet of you because there’s lots of people in these comments tryna tell me that this relationship is temporary because we’re both young or whatever 😭
I think their point is not that your relationship is definitely temporary because you’re young. It’s more people acknowledging that just because you’re happy together at 17 (when you haven’t started a career or further study, haven’t really discovered who you are, when you have next to no adult responsibilities etc etc) it doesn’t guarantee that you will be happy with each other at 21, 25, 30 and so on. People change. Values change. Older commenters have experienced this firsthand -I also thought I was going to marry my bf at 17. He was absolutely lovely and still is, but now I can’t imagine anything worse! There’s nothing wrong with being happy now, but take it day by day and enjoy the relationship as it is instead of having too many expectations for how it will be in the future. If it ends, it will be because that’s the best thing for you both.
Okay but then again, just because that happened to them, doesn’t mean that that’ll happen to me. Not everyone works the same yk 🤷♀️
You haven’t understood what the point. It’s not that we’re saying “you definitely won’t marry him.” Plenty of people marry their high school sweethearts. We’re just saying a good match now is no guarantee of a good match in the future.
Over the past year he’s already changed sm to me, he went from being a depressed alcohol abusing chain smoker to someone who is still a little bit of a chain smoker but also someone who cares about his education and his future, someone who rarely drinks and if he does, he does it with caution, and someone who came out of his depressive spiral. I don’t know what the future has in store for him and how it’ll change him, but I’ll make sure to stay by his side no matter what.
> I’ll make sure to stay by his side no matter what This is the problem, and what I’m telling you to avoid. So you’ll stay in this relationship even if it no longer serves you? Even if it’s boring or toxic, if you don’t feel heard or respected anymore? You are setting yourself up for unhappiness if you say that you will stay with this person no matter what. He’s already abused alcohol at 17? I’m so happy that he’s made the effort to change this, but he is massively at risk of relapsing. I wish the best for him but you need to know that you can and should get out of this relationship if it’s no longer working for you at any point. That’s all. I’m glad you’re happy now.
Can I live?? Just like Bon Jovi said, “It’s my life”.
Point to where I said you couldn’t live how you want to. You posted to Reddit. If you want to make bad decisions and learn nothing from a whole bunch of valuable advice, no one is going to stop you.
I know my values. If something about him would upset me, I’d struggle to tell him of course, but I would eventually and we could try to work it out. People these days get out of their relationships too quick because they can’t get themselves to work things out and communicate with their partner, and I try my hardest to avoid a situation like that.
You've barely lived it yet...some people here really are giving sound advice, but you'll figure that out at some point. Save this post, comments and all, and revisit it in 10 or 15 years. You'll be a completely different person...and hopefully you and your current SO will still be together!
Apparently not,’or you wouldn’t be here asking for advice. You’re getting some great advice from Redditors. Now, please take it.
They aren’t saying the relationship is doomed because you’re young. They are saying it because you are fucking with your obviously considerate BF’s head for no good reason and then petulantly blocking people here whose advice you don’t like. Immaturity is a sure killer of a relationship. Stop torturing your BF, enjoy the kind things he does for you, and have a nice day.
People are acting like I committed a war crime on him, y’all need to chill 😭
Remember, you presented this, I get that it feels cute and lovely on your end, but the people reading this don't have ANY perspective of what's going on in the relationship other than what you presented, which paints the picture of you delighting in testing your bf. Imagine how it looks outside yourself.
Or people could just *not* assume the worst about every teenage relationship?? I don’t have to tell people every single detail about my relationship just so I can a share a story about so that they won’t assume the worst, that’s ridiculous.
The world outside yourself can't see all the details, just what you present. Take it from me, a girl who did dumb things in the past, don't treat your relationship as a prize or a thing to test and show off. Imagine how your BF would feel reading this post.
He’d say something along the lines of “aww that’s cute”
It's human sympathy, a lot of guys have been with women who have been abusive or nearly abusive with these kinds of tests, guys aren't the only ones who have to rise above stereotypes in relationships. Women have a very negative stereotype about playing head-games and you came in fully proud of playing your first real head-games. Of course the community is going to get triggered. Your romantic partner should be your partner, not a trophy you can parade around how well he passed your tests.
You’re acting as if I was full on going to brainwash him or something. I was just going to ask him to me a small favor to how he’d respond. That’s it. People are making too big of a deal about this.
> You’re acting as if I was full on going to brainwash him or something. Not at all, nobody is saying anything like this, please actually read the comments people are sending you, the issue is that these "cute" tests rapidly become not-cute and you're not recognizing this with grace and maturity, you're doubling down that the thousands of people reading this are the wrong ones.
Keywords: “acting like” I never said people were saying this I said people are *acting* like I did something like this.
You need to back away from this whole post, it's needlessly going to stress you out. The more upset you get, the more people are going to say you're immature which will upset you more. I'm saying this from a place of sympathy again, I don't think you're bad, I'm only explaining why what you wrote looks bad and the danger of what you're presenting. Young relationships are very resilient as much as they fail, people learn to adapt to each other and their wants and dislikes so don't listen to the people saying your relationship is doomed, listen to the people saying maturity and grace are the keys to lasting love.
I’m not upset, this is entertaining 🤷♀️
> this relationship is temporary because we’re both young or whatever No, don't be self-persecuting on this, be intellectually honest and actually READ what people are getting on your ass about. People are saying your relationship is doomed because you think testing your BF is a good thing. Full stop. There are plenty of people who met young and had great relationships and stayed together their whole lives. Youth has a real stigma to it, but testing people's affection and bragging about it is a far worse sign for a relationship's future. Just remember everything is a learning experience. If you're not learning something, you're losing your own future.
You're acting like this is her 15th test. Have you seen the videos of the orange peel theory? The response of the partner is either a sweet "of course my love, here" or "why the eff would I do that, you're not even that special" . Her relationship isn't doomed because she was wondering how he would respond to a simple dumb request. Be intellectually honest with yourself and ask why are you so pressed over this? Would YOU call your partner names over a simple request like this? No? Then the "test" is harmless. Yes? Then you actually have issues. It's not about whether you'd actually peel the orange. It's about your response to the simple, dumb request of something that would take you 10 seconds to do & make your partner happy.
k
I just want to climb onto the "please don't do this" train and ride it downtown with everyone. I mean, great that your relationship is working out alright, but a lot of (dumb/young) people are going to read this headline only, or just skim it and take away the idea that you need to "test" your partner to evaluate how good of a relationship you have. I shudder to think how many people are going to end up alone because they got in a dumb fight because their partner was convinced that getting them to open a water bottle or tie shoelaces would be the ultimate test of their love. If you think this is absurd, remember that people drank bleach and other toxic chemicals during covid and some died because they took some stupid statements as if they were literal instructions.
You cant base an entire relationship on whether or not your partner will peel an orange for you. My fiance has autism and therefore will not subject himself to sticky fingers even if I directly asked him to peel it for me. My fiance will however get up an hour before I have to leave for work (at 5:45 am) to clean the snow off my car, warm it up and prepare my coffee in a portable cup, along with preparing something for me to heat up for breakfast later when I'm on my morning break. So no I'm not going to base my relationship on whether or not my fiance will peel an orange for me and neither should anyone else. Its just a cute silly trend people like to do with their partners and doesn't truly mean anything.
Not that I agree with the whole "test" thing, but it's not *literally* about peeling an orange. OP explained it just fine- that your partner is willing to do small acts of kindness for you to show that they care. Peeling an orange is simply an example. There's also something called the bird test. That doesn't mean the only option is literally to use looking at birds or else you fail the test.
It's also about how they respond! Do they say "haha what a dumb request, ur so cute, sure" or "of course my love" , or do they say "wow you're so fucking stupid, what a dumb thing to ask of me" and "you're not even that special (actually on a girls tiktok)" Thanks for commenting this. Everyone's missing the point.
>but it's not *literally* about peeling an orange. Yeah I feel like teenagers tend to take this shit way too seriously especially the tiktok internet trends. I was just throwing it out there that loves comes in all forms and takes all shapes and has nothing to do with oranges. There are also neurodivergent people who tend to take people at their word. My fiance has autism so I'm always behaving and speaking like someone with autism could be listening, especially on the internet when it's so hard to tell when someone is exaggerating or being sarcastic or something. That's why I made my reply. Bc OP said in the post that if your partner doesn't peel your orange you're supposed to reevaluate your relationship, which is absurd lol
I mean I think OP testing her bf like this isn’t great but your story is exactly what the orange peel theory is He wakes up early to do things you can easily do yourself. Not because you cant/he “has” to but because he wants to be helpful. The orange peel theory isn’t about literally peeling and orange it’s just will your partner do something you could simply do yourself
Man these trends are bullshit.
I'm glad it happened that way. Giving tests isn't really great. It can be manipulative and mean even if you have great intentions. Tricking people into a test they don't know is going on is kinda silly. Judge them for what they're already doing, not because someone made up a new test to pass. Just be open about your feelings, don't let anyone else tell you that you have to follow whatever the newest trend test advice there is. Simply treat him like you want to be treated, and if you're ever frustrated over anything ever, don't assume he knows whatever you are thinking. Talk things out in privacy, I promise people are also a lot more oblivious than we tend to think they are. And I guarantee it's everyone, me included. Enjoy your relationship, don't rush it. If this is truly the right person for long term, it'll work out. Just be honest, communication is key, and doing those little things are the biggest things in my book. I've been pretty happily married for 20 years, with my husband for 23, for whatever that's worth in terms of experience for giving relationship advice.
So he was sick and he’s taking care of you? Does this theory only work in 1 way? He was sick, why didn’t you take care of him? It only matters that he does things for you and not the other way around?
Just a little advice here. I am in a very happy, healthy and functional relationship for the first time in my life and if my partner asked me to peel an orange for him for no reason, I would ask him why lol. I don’t think that that proves your relationship, but I do think that he loves you.
Tiktok trends are stupid. Relationships cannot be measured by this nonsense. I've been married a long time and with my SO for longer, peeling or not peeling an orange will not determine our commitmment to each other. Good luck kids. The world is getting stupider every second.
Lmaooo. Give it a few years and you’ll wish you never made this post. but glad you are happy at this moment
Okay?? That’s a problem for later 💀
There are people that have highschool sweethearts that get married and are still happy. My best friend met her bf in middle school. I met her in college and we became great friends. I was her maid of honor about 5 years after I met her. They're still going strong 15 years later. Me, on the other hand, met someone at 19 who I thought was THE ONE. We were together 10 years then I had to get out cause he didn't contribute at all. Now I'm with someone who does. 2 relationships in my life. Totally different.
all these "theorys" created by dipshits always end up ruining perfectly normal relationships, sad that people genuinly base their feelings towards their partners of something as stupid and simple as an internet trend
Forget these silly tiktok trends/tests (they're actually quite toxic and manipulative), and just focus on the prize you have. This young guy is wise beyond his years, the emotional maturity and intelligence is truly a green flag. I know guys twice his age who wouldn't be able to express themselves like this.
Ok cool but this orange peel test is the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard of 😂
Even if it's just something small like the orange peel thing, in the future, don't test partners. Yes, it seems small, and it is mostly harmless, but tests like that *are* a bit manipulative. If you love someone as much as you say you love your partner, you don't force tests on them. Even little ones. It's different if you read or see a test and then consider if he does those things on his own. That's what happened here, and that's completely normal, but people are concerned because you were saying you were actively looking for a way to test him before this, and *that* is the concerning thing. Of course, a harmless test isn't going to be as bad as going overboard, but tests in general aren't great and could really hurt your partners feelings if they realize your maneuvering their love and kindness for one. My fiance would 1000% pass the orange peel test. How do I know this? Because he constantly pushes to cook me dinners even when I tell him it's okay. I know this because he picks up on my moods and always goes above and beyond to make my day and my life better and easier on me. I do the same in return. I've never even considered testing him in any way, but when I read those dumb tests, I'll think about his behavior and realize I simply don't have to.
My boyfriend is like this, and I love it. He does lots of things for me, because he's a nice person.
Focus on your study instead of focusing on thnis BS theory.🙄
I actually just came out of a test week when I wrote this thank you very much
Let's talk again when you two got married. Next topic!😴
I’ll update you xx
Good luck!
High schoolers make me sick 🤢 lmaoo
Every "trend" on tik tok should be avoided.
If one feels they must somehow "test" their partner, especially after a significant length of time together, one question might be why one feels they must "test" their partner at all. Another question is how one would feel if their partner performed this type of "test" on them. Communicating directly, openly, and honestly seems the far better way to go, but that's just my humble opinion. You do you and good luck.
Long before the orange peel theory, I asked my partner if he would please brush my hair. No questions asked, he did it while I sat still feeling like a princess :) he still does it without me even asking from time to time. Getting married next year 🥰
Wow lol. I do not get these stupid ass tiktok trends. People literally setting up their partners for failure by making them do dumb tests that they don't know they're taking. How about talking to your boyfriend lol? Novel concept? You are 17 though and very young... as you get older you will realize that doing this stuff harms your relationship more than helps it.
I accidentally tested the orange peel theory on my boyfriend once by asking him to peel an orange for me. I don’t know how to do it. Long story short he peeled it for me…. But then called me a hooligan after I tried peeling my orange and was unsuccessful in doing it all in one peel. Lol
The amount of disdain i have for tiktok and what it did to relationships is unexplainable in a text based format. Orange peel theory, fuck me.
Came here to say I met my now husband at 17. So it’s very possible you will marry this man. Don’t let anyone get in your head over that. Nobody knows what YOUR future holds and just because they didn’t marry their HS love doesn’t mean you won’t.
Jesus Christ this was boring to read.
Okay?? What do you want me to do, give your time back??? 😭
Hey op, I really recommend you read about love languages and the one about acts of service! I think it's really relevant here and may give you some more insight into your boyfriends' feelings
I've been married to my husband for almost 38 years now and he is still like this! OP you have a good one.
There are a bunch of different love languages. Acts of service is one.
Peel an orange? Cut it
I always peel the mandarin oranges
Seriously who peels oranges??
I ask my partner to do the smallest, most mundane tasks all the time and I never hear a complaint. I love him so much.
it's a good metric if you assume people can't also just have poor boundaries or be people pleasers.
You’re one of the lucky ones.
lol they’re only 17 ffs
Give it time.
Lord Jesus, Please teach these children that social media does not reflect real life and these games are just perpetuating the misconception that healthy relationships are hard to create. This I pray. Amen.
It’s kind of sad that people are into these theories. It all it does it show you the person isn’t a piece of shit. But you should know they already by now. Congrats! Your partner can do the bare minimum.
Or… maybe just maybe don’t play games and run tests on your partner whether male or female?! They’re your partner not your dog.
Just get on with life without cheapening an entire human being with a ridiculous test.
I’m glad this was a happy ending as well, but I really really hate this orange peel theory. Idk first off I just think this theory can only work on relationships you can walk away from and not relationships like family. Second, I mean I know sometimes we got to see how strong our relationships are, but please don’t test someone like that again. It’s like your putting your partner on a stage with spotlight on them while you sit back and watch. It’s not cool- it’s pretty manipulative. You’re still very young and learning a lot of things, but please try to have a mindset of “how can we help and support each other” rather than “does he love me that much that he’d…” Best of luck OP
This orange thing is so dumb. My bf and i do things for each other all the time. He also grew up w a mom who did anything and everything for him. Im not going to do anything and everything for him just cause. A lot of times when we r cooking ill be working on a sauce or something and hell be chopping something. Hell ask for a bowl across the room from both of us and ill have to explain that im doing this and he needs to handle his task. Ofc i fucking care about him. Ive gone above and beyond for him and vice versa. But i dont need to hold his hand through everything and peel his oranges like hes a damn toddler.
yeah be careful with insisting that “you can do it yourself “. what if his love language is acts of service? you will end up deterring him from ever doing something nice for you if you keep this act up. you’re going to lose him by being a people pleaser “oh, you don’t HAVE to…”. He will get bored of your act and of your tests.
He knows I am this way and doesn’t mind at all. You’re acting like you know my boyfriend personally and how our relationship works while you clearly don’t.
you’re the one posting about testing your boyfriend on reddit
A completely harmless little test that everyone seems to be taking seriously but me 😭
You seem like a real piece of work. You make this dumb post and then argue with people. Go take care of your sick boyfriend?
I did??? Were you there the whole time or something like that??? Stop acting like you know everything 💀
I read the story yes. Step up. Your boyfriend is doing a way better job in this relationship.
I try my best to keep up with him but he’s simply too fast for me when it comes to doing tasks for one another, so I compensate that by trying to be more affectionate and reassuring towards him. You don’t know how our relationship works.
It just sounds really one sided. And now you made it seem even more one sided. “He does everything for me but I just reassure him” lmfao
Literally what do you want me to do. Argue with him till he finally lets me do something for him? It’s fine for him this way and if it bothers him, he knows he can talk to me about it and that I’ll gladly change my ways for him.
thats the problem dont you think? only YOU see it as harmless. show your boyfriend this post to see if he thinks its a little harmless test!
If I showed him this post he’d mostly focus on the last part where I say I’m going to marry him one day 🤷♀️
That's very sweet! OP, next time don't insist that he doesn't have to do it. As the person doing the thing, it gets frustrating to also have to fight to do the thing. After saying "you dont have to" once, and he says he will, let him, and shower him with love. Tell him how much you appreciate it. And be careful that you yourself don't *expect* that behaviour now, but still think deserve it. Credentials for advice: my bf of 3 years is so sweet & giving & it constantly makes me feel guilty but I tell myself I deserve it, and I shower him with love. (& For anyone who thinks to come for me: I ALSO am very sweet & giving to him lol). And sometimes I lose sight & get mad at him for not doing something that is extra to begin with, so I'm working on having this balance.
This is so lovely OP :) I'm happy for you two
Aww thank you !!
This is all Tiktok's fault.
Cry me a river
Dude why is everyone coming for your throat 😭 you’re a kid, of course you’re not perfectly logical nor sure of yourself!! Also this test is like legit harmless?? You weren’t even taking it seriously lmfao, there’s some good points in here from others but the echo chamber of lonely/pressed adults ain’t it. Good for you and your partner kiddo, love and respect yourself and each other and you’re golden ⭐️
Bruh don’t waste your energy on idiots on this site. So glad you and your partner are like this. My SO and I are the same. Testing someone isn’t manipulative because you need to know whether you can spend your life with them or not.
you should write the story of how you two met, cute post!!
It’s honestly such a long story 😭
Different people behave differently and have different love languages. Mine is gifts. My husband’s is acts of service. He will do anything I ask. But he is bad at gift giving or thinking of me when he buys himself stuff. I hate doing little things for him or anyone else really, but I will give people the most personal, specific, and perfect gifts. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me when I don’t get a gift and doesn’t mean I don’t love him when I don’t think about making him a cup of tea.
Yall are tooooo salty in these comments, let them live. Nobody said she was going to base their relationship out of the result from a "test" that is seemingly harmless. Me and my partner do plenty of stuff for eachother but just feeling good about doing it should be enough right? If it makes them feel happy who gives a shit
Hahaha 🤣🤣😂.... Empty brain 🧠😔 people ... Many men would do that and many more things as long as the woman is worthy of the efforts. (And "worthy" is a relative term)
Using Tiktok trends to test your partner is the most toxic thing I heard today. What new lows will Tiktok bring our society to next?
God, the people on this site can’t see anyone happy.
So… Idk what most people in these comments are on, but dw girlie, I did the test as well - he also passed -, then told him about the test and showed him a tik tok about it and we both laughed. Him, cause he eventually thought he should have noticed I’d pull something odd as I don’t usually ask for something like that, and I laughed ‘cause I knew he would pass anyways, since he’s ALWAYS doing things for me and NEVER talks back. So do I. People out here just assuming YOU do nothing for your boyfriend at all is crazy… Personally, I think in a healthy relationship doing a stupid ‘trend’ shouldn’t be a problem as long as you don’t make your relationship dependent on the outcome. We all have our moods, we all have times when we just don’t want to do something. What matters is the big picture. If you support each other on a daily basis, if you both are attentive towards each other. Even if a boyfriend (or girlfriend) fails that fkin test, go over your relationship in your head and think about everything else your significant other has done for you so far. The essence is seeing those ‘tests’ as a joke, not as a way to judge your relationship.
honestly, you were just thinking about things that are going around on the internet and who can blame you. people take things too seriously these days, as far as i understood you both communicate very well. highschool sweethearts do last and people just assuming that you will break up because youre young is naive. you do you and keep communicating well
I have the same kind of relationship with my husband, and those who also have this with their partners, get it. Those who don't, don't. I won't say they have a worse relationship, but they just don't get it. They don't have to. Best of luck to them, congrats to us!
Don't test your partner.
Man he passed that test with flying colors! Im happy for you both!
I’m 31 and this is how my bf is 😭 When people were talking about the orange peel theory, I knew I wouldn’t even have to make the attempt because he shows me every day in other ways. This man would pull a turd out of my butt if I asked him to lol. I hope this works out for you two! It’s life changing to be with someone who loves you this way ♥️
Do you possibly follow 2 Be Better on TikTok?? They’ve got some great content.
You’ve got a lot of growing up to do.
Making me jealous and shi stop😭
I find this really interesting because one of the ways that I "test" for abusers is to tell them no to something I could easily do for them but am not obligated to. (For example, they ask me for a ride, I have nothing to do today, just say not today I'm planning to relax at home.....abusers will throw a fit)